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Volume 1005 - London Calling

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 Mon-Tues    February 24-25, 2003 


"I say to O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Hedgecock, Hannity, and all others like them
  haranguing for battle to put up or shut up. You guys had your chance to dress
  in a green suit and pick up a rifle for your country, and you passed on it.
  You chose to serve yourselves. Today you talk tough while reaping the wealth
  that this nation can give, and you never sacrificed a thing for this country,
  just for yourselves. In my opinion, you are no different than the man on the
  Titanic who put on a dress and climbed aboard a lifeboat."
  --Charles Henderson, a retired Marine Corps warrant officer

 Cheney bought the company 
 that puts out oil well fires in 1995

  Click  Here

 Dick Cheney has worked to profit from Iraqi oilfields "as rapidly as possible"
 since at least 1995.  In fact, one of the first deals he cut at Halliburton aimed
 to get first and controlling access to burning oil fields!

 Cheney's deal helped assure Halliburton the first position in Iraqi oil fields
 after a war:  fighting the fires.  Once in place, Halliburton would be positioned
 to service the ruined wells, no matter who wound up owning the oil.  Firefighting
 services gave Halliburton unique leverage in profiting from flaming Iraqi oil fields.

 Bush & Cheney sure are "lucky" that 9-11 happened.

  Rumsfeld Co. Sold N Korea Two Nuclear Power Plants
  But still, the GOP media says Clinton is to blame

  Click  Here

 Rumsfeld’s position at ABB could prove embarrassing for the Bush administration since
 while he was a director he was also active on issues of weapons proliferation.

 Pentagon spokeswoman Victoria Clark told “Newsweek” that “Rumsfeld does not
 recall it being brought before the board at any time”.


"We knew something was going on. I mean, who inherits $50,000,000
   and then calls FOX and says, 'Can you find me a girlfriend?' "
      -- Sarah, who 'Joe Millionaire" didn't pick

 I Was Almost a Stooge For National Plutocrat Radio
    by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

 Two years into the court-appointed Bush administration's destruction of our way of life and the
 first call I received from NPR was a request to belittle Democrats. Ostensibly they wanted me
 to make fun of the fact that the field of candidates had grown very quickly in recent weeks.
 That's right; NPR was soliciting me to satirize democracy for showing signs of vibrancy. And so
 this young producer tried to steer me that way. She started by mentioning the size of the Democratic
 field and then asked, "Do you think any of them has the stature to take on George W. Bush?"

 I said, "My dog Lloyd has the stature to take on Bush."
 But then I allowed, "Of course, I raised him myself."

 ha ha


   Click  Here

 Bush Cited Report That Doesn't Exist
 Never-elected is caught lying again but we forgive him
 because God picked him to ruin the Clinron Miracle

  Click  Here

 Bush and Ari Fleischer went out of their way Thursday to cite a new survey
 by "Blue-Chip economists" that the economy would grow 3.3 percent this year
 if the president's tax cut proposal becomes law

 That was news to the editor who assembles the economic forecast.
 "I don't know what he was citing," said Randell E. Moore, editor of
 the monthly Blue Chip Economic Forecast.

Marty's E! page
If it's Tuesday, it's Michael Dare!
Hollywood prepares for the Oscars
Ravi Shankar is Norah Jones' dad
ABC has sold all the commercials in the Oscars already!
CBS won February sweeps with scripts not reality
And, 'The Day the Protest Music Died'



''On this Iraq deal, here's what happened: We lost our car keys in the garage
  but we're looking for them in the living room because the light is better there."
   -- Bill Maher, explaining why we're attacking Iraq
       when it was Al Qaeda and the Saudis who attacked us.

 Grammy pre-show

 Before the show, Joan Rivers asked Sheryl Crow who she was wearing.
 I swear, for some reason, Sheryl said she was wearing "a vintage Koresh."

 She also said she'd gotten phone calls warning her not to wear any anti-war shirts.
 You see, CBS is owned by the super-rich Republicans who own Viacom.

 They want this war to happen so Bush will be a phoney-baloney war hero, get elected
 for the first time and that way the bastards at Viacom can get another huegegege tax cut,
 so they threatened the performers with their mics being turned off in mid-sentence if they
 dared to say anything that Mr Rove might not like.

 This is the America we're all forced to live in,
 since Scalia and his thugs stole our right to vote.

 A shot of Cuervo Gold to the CBS war Nazi's and our crooked Supreme Court


 this ain't much but I hope it helps.
 I consult you daily when defending our country
 against my old college buddies turned reich wing nuts.

 Keep hammering like that carpenter of 2000 years ago.
 Chuck from the northside of Chicago.

 Chuck, thanks for that.
 My old college friends, even the ones that shot hard drugs,
 are all Bush backers these days. What the hell happened?

 Weekend Sports

 Mike Tyson kicked some cheese-eating surrender monkey's ass Saturday night.
 It only took him 49 seconds.

 Swear to Koresh, if I was half a fighter, I could last an entire round.
 Haven't these palookas ever heard of the rope-a-dope?
 Didn't they see Buster kick this phoney's ass 11 years ago?

 Tyson was paid $20M for this fight, no matter what you hear - it was $20M.
 He got a check for $5M Saturday, but by winning he's guaranteed another shot
 at Lennon Lewis and for that he'll be paid $20M, even if he dives in the first minute

 ...and Mister Perfect lost again, which means it was a great weekend!.

  The BartCop Hex stays on your ass, Tiger


"The thing is I'm not going to flaunt what I have.
  I refuse to show off my boobs, my belly or my booty.
  I don't want to walk around in clothes like Britney wears
  with pants that don't cover my ass."
    -- Avril Lavigne, who sells music instead of tits

 There's lots of good stuff at

 Here's something I saw there:

 US considered 'suicide jet missions'

  Click  Here

 US Air Force commanders considered crashing fighter jets into hijacked planes on 9-11
 because of a lack of armed planes.  In the immediate aftermath of the terror attacks
 US fighter planes took to the skies to defend America from any further attacks.

 At the time of the attacks the US had just four fighter pilots on alert covering
 the north eastern United States.  Pilots "Duff" and "Nasty" recalled they were
 only minutes away when the second plane hit the towers.  Pilot Duff said:
"For a long time I wondered what would have happened if we had been scrambled in time."

 Yeah, we might've saved the Constitution if those jets weren't handcuffed.
 Remember, I can hear the alarm, wake up, shower and get dressed and
 drive to my old job is less time than it takes the Air Force to scramble jets
 when New York and DC are being bombed?

 The B.F.E.E. is handjobbing America into war and bankruptcy.

  Yahoo Headline
 Oil prices surge toward two-year highs

 The gouging continues.
 They'll claim they're just passing on higher costs, but they are lying.
 Their quarterly reports will say they're making lots more money
 than they were when we had the right to have our votes counted.

"Unable to organize readings for his book,     since 9/11, erudite NYU prof-propaganda
 weeder by day, charismatic indie news guerilla by night Mark Crispin Miller takes his wisdom
 to the streets in this spoken-word, stand-up news junket, displaying wit born of years spent examining
 media and pop culture.

 More than attacking our great leader and his well-documented dyslexia, Miller reveals the gross
 inadequacies of an American media whose talking heads gladly serve up Bush's gaffes for ratings
 and revenues while ditching the kind of journalism on which democracy depends.

 The dates for the next perfs are 3/2, 3/9, 3/23, 3/30. All at the Cherry Lane, 38 Commerce St., NY,
 call for reservations: 212-989-2159.  3/2 is free, the other shows are $20 per ticket.

 "a provocative, funny, and deeply disturbing one-man show"
    - Village Voice Editor and publisher, 2/13/03

 From:  George Hennum

 Subject: Morons

 You dumb asses should spend some time actually reading the Bill of Rights
 before you declare it dead. You dorks don't even know the difference
 between Title 9 (hellllooo NOT an amendment) and the 9th amendment.

 George, did you consider the possibility that it was a joke?
 I admit to having an IQ of 64, but even I'm not stupid enough to think
 the framers of the Constitution wanted women's basketball.

 One would have to be George Bush-stupid to screw that up.

 Speaking of being George Bush-stupid, remember when the governor said
"Those Democrats think Social Security is some kind of federal program."

 Now that is stupid.

 Notes from beyond the pale

  Click  Here


"We got to kill that mother-effer Saddam. Slit his throat.
  Kill him and the guy in North Korea.
  Are some women and children going to die?
  Yeah. But doing it is the right thing."
    --Kid Rock, who seems to be running our State Department


 When I see what Rush has accomplished just by lies and distortions, think what a
 well-informed, intelligent and witty dude with a great sense of humor could do with the truth!

 Maybe you won't change the world, but I'm hoping that you just might open some eyes.
 Considering what's at stake, it's a bargain at any price.
 I love the truth, I know it's a treasonous, traitorous thought, but I just can't help myself.
 Add a hammer, and you never know what might happen!


 Dude, thanks for the donation to help fund BartCop Radio.
 As you might've gathered by yesterday's issue, I'm jobless

 We are much closer now to  BartCop Radio.
 We're ready to do the BartCop thing full-time.

 Woo Hoo!
 No more part-time hammer in a full-time war!

 I didn't have enough money to quit this job, but we're gaining subscribers at a rate
 that gives me confidence that the chasm can eventually be bridged, if that's a phrase.

 Maybe we should target April 15th as a starting date.

 Isn't this exciting?

 Wish me luck, and consider joining the team!
 Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?

  Thanks to Bruce Yurgil

 They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to support BartCop Radio

 Dueling Quotes

"No one contacted any artist to talk about content."
   --Grammy President Neil Portnow

"I was going to do something and then the Grammy committee
  called up my manager... they said they wanted to keep it all neutral."
   --Sheryl Crow, backstage at the Grammys

  I believe Sheryl.

 War Party Stumbles
 Their propaganda campaign is pathetic

  Click  Here

 While war may be inevitable – at least, that's what we're supposed to believe
 – the War Party's propaganda campaign is stupefyingly unconvincing. What was
 billed as a "Support the Troops" rally at the Alamo was held the other day, where
 "about 1,000" participants waved signs proclaiming "God Supports President Bush."
 This echoes the President's own remarks, made the same day, in which he declared
 it was the will of "the Almighty" to "liberate the oppressed people of Iraq."  Having
 abandoned the Constitution, and the foreign policy advice of the Founding Fathers,
 the President has reverted back to an earlier doctrine: the divine right of kings.

 Subject: Kucinich's abortion stance

 My understanding is that as the Rep. from a Polish Catholic CD in Cleveland,
 Kucinich always felt obligated to vote anti-choice.

 Running nationwide freed him from that constraint.

 Mark Gisleson

 Mark, good point - thanks for that.

 The GOP Home Shopping Network
  Why Bush wants you to buy duct tape

  Click  Here

 46 percent of the duct tape sold in this country is manufactured by a company in Avon, Ohio.
 And the founder of that company, that would be Jack Kahl, gave how much to the GOP
 in the 2000 election cycle? Would that be more than $100,000?

 I've been unemployed for 13 months now and i always promised myself as soon
 as i got a job, I'd send you some money. I haven't gotten a job yet, but when I heard
 you're out of one too, what the hell, I might as well pay you to swing that hammer
 a little harder than some whore corporation for an overpriced frappucino.

 Let's show those jesus-raping oil-plundering warmongering drunks
 what a liberal media REALLY looks like!

 swing away


"Experts are saying that the U.S. will invade Iraq by mid-March.
  When asked why, Bush said this was all part of his big plan to
  surprise the Iraqis while they are drunk on Saint Patty’s Day."

 Raze the Church/State Wall?
  by Jonathan Turley

  Click  Here

 Under the new Bush guidelines, a fundamentalist religion with white supremacist or radical
 Islamic tenets could demand funding for new buildings. Moreover, under the Bush
 pro-discrimination policy, the government will openly support the refusal to hire Jews
 -- or other people deemed to be nonbelievers -- for publicly funded positions.

 Bush couldn't do this if the Democrats did their jobs.

  Be sure and check out the latest assault on the vulgar Pigboy.

  Click  Here  to see what Take Back the Media did to him (chortle-chortle)


"A proposed bill would make all New York City hotels have free condoms in the rooms.
  How dumb am I? All of these years and I’ve been using the free shower cap."

 The Grammy show Bart saw

  Click  Here


“That was a stupid and dismissive remark (about the protests) and the point is that he
  is bringing along a world coalition that he calls a coalition of the willing when it's really
  a coalition of the bullied and the bribed. The only way he's getting countries to go along
  with this is coming across with huge sums of money and asking leaders to overlook what
  is basically democratic expression in these countries.”
   --Eleanor Clift on the McLaughlin Group

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