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Volume 1020 - Sand Bungle Redux

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 Friday  March 14, 2003            VCR Alert - Bill Maher tonight on HBO


"While attention has been focused on war with Iraq, our military has been focused on an closer enemy.
  The United States of America attacked Florida. I'm sure our government tried every diplomatic solution,
  but as rough as this is, let's face it, Florida had it coming. I mean honestly, Elian, the 2000 election, the Everglades."
    --Jon Stewart, on the military dropping the new MOAB bomb on a test-range in Florida

 Rockefeller wants the FBI on forged Iraq documents 
  Fake president uses fake documents to justify fake war

  Click  Here

 Rockefeller said U.S. worries about Iraqi nuclear weapons were not based primarily on the documents,
 but "there is a possibility that the fabrication of these documents may be part of a larger deception
 campaign aimed at manipulating public opinion and foreign policy regarding Iraq."

 Cal. Governor orders probe of fuel prices

  Click  Here

 Gray Davis's call for investigations into fuel costs coincides with gasoline prices hitting all-time highs across the state.
 The average price for a gallon of regular unleaded Thursday in San Francisco was $2.25, up 71 cents from a year ago.

 Natural gas prices are also spiking. An average Pacific Gas and Electric Co. customer will pay $69.27 in monthly gas bills
 for March, about 80 percent more than a year ago.

 Davis, I can save you time and money on this.
 Just get the earnings reports for the energy providers that show their profits are way, way, way up.
 Then ask, "If you're just passing on cost increases, why are profits up so high?"

 It's called "creating the box."

 I'll be damned.
 I just became a fan of the Dixie Chicks.


"Just so you know, we're ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas."
   --  Natalie Maines, of the Dixie Chicks between songs onstage in London

  Click  Here

"We've been overseas for several weeks and have been reading and following the news accounts of our
 government's position," the group explains. "The anti-American sentiment that has unfolded here is astounding.
 While we support our troops, there is nothing more frightening than the notion of going to war with Iraq
 and the prospect of all the innocent lives that will be lost."

 My guess is they'll suffer a backlash since country music is behind the mass killing of Iraqis.
 Support the Dixie Chicks.

              Click  to  order

 Elizabeth Smart

"So thou sayeth."

 That's what she said when the cops said, "We know you're Elizabeth Smart - why not just admit it?"
 One arresting officer said he held the poster of her right up next to her face.

 He's said, "It's you, why won't you admit it?"

 ...and the Nazi bastards of talk radio and cable TV keep saying, "Why didn't she just run away?"

 Every time I hear them say that, I want to kidnap them, throw them in the trunk of a car, terrorize them,
 hold a knife to their throat for a few weeks and watch as their mental defenses gradually break down.

 Jesus, she was 14 years old when they grabbed her.
 When I was 14 years old I was 8-10 times more stupid than I am today.

 ...but those Nazi bastards have money to make, so they'll continue to attack Elizabeth and fabricate
 simplistic scenarios about why she should've overpowered this 200-pound man and his wife months ago.

 It's possible after he grabbed Elizabeth, that religious nut worked her over and then told her her family
 refused to pay her ransom so he killed them, burned the house and she had nothing to go back to.

 Another thing - just like with Clinton - these whores ares saying we have a right to know exactly what
 kinds of sexual abuse this poor kid went thru. The sons of bitches keep wondering aloud which positions
 he had her in, and exactly what "sex slave functions" she was forced to privide for this religious monster.

 There was a time when Howard Stern was the only one asking those questions.
 Now it's Wolf the Whore, Tim the Whore and all the talk radio and cable TV whores.


 Have the late night rerun of 'Oprah' on in the background - it's a week behind the show that airs during the day.
 She just had video of Rummy shaking hands with Saddam.

 Might have to start paying more attention to daytime tv.



"At his press conference last week, Bush broke a 43-year tradition by failing to call on Helen Thomas,
  who has been asking questions at presidential press conferences since 1960. Thomas is openly critical
  of this administration, and particularly of this war. Afraid to take a question from an 82-year-old woman?
  George W. Bush has no class. Equally disgusting was the White House press corps' failure to respond
  to the insult. What makes that bunch of smug chumps think it won't be done to any one of them?"
      --Molly Ivins

 Conservative Backlash
  Provisions of ‘Patriot II’ Draft Worry Those on Right

  Click  Here

"According to what is in the draft, if adopted it would allow the Justice Department to wiretap a person for 15 days
 without a warrant; federal agents could secretly arrest people and provide no information to their family, the media or
 their attorney until charges are brought, no matter how long that took; and it would allow the government to strip Americans
 of their citizenship for even unknowingly helping a group that is connected to an organization deemed to be terrrorist.

 Let's assume the writer of that bold type actually meant what he wrote:  Does this mean that if I loaned money
 to a person who, in Ashcroft's opinion, was a terrorist, I could be deported from America?

 I don't much like this Patriot II horseshit.

 Whoops, ...did I just commit a crime there?


"Sooner or later, the UN needs to act or not act."
    --  Condi Rice, starting to sound like her stupid boss

 Tide turns against Bush

  Click  Here

 The Iraq crisis is no longer about stopping Iraq. It is about stopping the United States.

 Most countries outside the U.S. are no longer worried about Saddam Hussein.
 They are worried about George W. Bush.

 Wacko, Iraq

 A bloody assault has been carried out by agents of the U.S. Bureau of heavy-users
 of  Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (BATF) at the Mount Carmel compound of a
 little known religious sect called "Islamic Fundamentalists", ten miles East of Baghdad.

  Click  Here

 Subject: the women who was killed in New York

 Bart, you wrote:

> There's a really, really, really famous story about the woman in New York who was stabbed to death
> while screaming her lungs out. Police estimated dozens or hundreds of people heard her screaming,
> but nobody picked up the phone to call the cops. Not even one.

 Her name was Kitty Genevese.


 Beatles, that's right.
 That name popped in to my head, but I thought, "No, that's the mob family."

 Also, Neil in VT sent this URL that covers the Genevese matter.  Thanks to you both

 Click  Here

 A man in a window shouted: "Let that girl alone.''
 The attacker walked away. Apartment lights went out and windows slammed shut. The victim
 staggered toward her apartment. But the attacker returned and stabbed her again.

"I'm dying!'' she cried.

 Detectives investigating Genovese's murder discovered that no fewer than 38 of her neighbors
 had witnessed at least one of her killer's three attacks but had neither come to her aid nor called
 the police. The one call made to the police came after Genovese was already dead. .

 Europeans Stop Work to Protest Iraq War

  Click  Here

 Millions of Europeans stopped work at midday Friday to protest Bush's nutty oil war.

 Subject: comments on a great issue


 Superlative issue Thursday

 I share your thankfulness and excitement over the safe return of Elizabeth Smart.  And your revulsion at the predictable
 opportunism of the hate-slinging  ditto-spank crowd.  Our local spew monkey, Howie Carr, who has always evinced a
 hysterical aversion to the homeless, raved on in full-disgorge mode concerning the stupidity of Christians who practice
 the Christian virtue of charity (to wit: Elizabeth's mother's bringing a homeless preacher home) had this little story to tell:

 After September 11th, He was talking to one of his little daughters about the Arabs.  He went on and on for a while
 when suddenly she interrupted and said, "Daddy, I know we gotta hate the Arabs, now.  But is it still okay to hate bums?"
 To which he answered, "Of course you can, dear."

 Howie, and probably most of his audience just laughed and laughed.


 CrimQuips by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

 Court-appointed President Bush and Prime Ministers Tony Blair of Britain and Jose Maria Aznar of Spain
 will hold a pro-war, pre-war summit in the Azores on Sunday. Originally the meeting was planned for Corsica
 but was switched because Blair feared the British people would make him stay there.

 ha ha

 UN tells Bush NO
 Spoiled boy never heard that word before

 If Bush dropped pursuing the United Nations resolution for war and relying on the old resolution, it would be
 a very bad for the United States. The old resolution only authorized unspecified "serious consequences" if Iraq
 failed to disarm. The UN weapons inspector has not completed his work and has reported that Iraq is disarming.
 Therefore the condition for serious consequences is not met.

 Additionally it is also clear that the only reason that the US would drop the new resolution is because they do NOT
 have the agreement of the United Nations. Under these circumstances America would be the aggressor in an illegal
 war and Bush would become an international criminal. Any country who supported America's effort to illegally invade
 Iraq would also be a criminal. Bush just doesn't get it. He can't go around starting wars just because he wants to.
 Bush is putting America at risk.

 Marc Perkel

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  Meanwhile, Back in the Job Market

  Click  Here

"You would think that the real world might impinge on politics and that Washington
  would step in to ease the burdens on those the economy is hurting the most.

 Alas, you would be wrong. Policy is going entirely the opposite way. Rep. Jim Nussle,
 an Iowa Republican who chairs the House Budget Committee, proposed a budget this
 week that would require deep cuts in Medicare, Medicaid, student loans, food stamps
 and countless other programs.

 Nussle made the cuts to accommodate Bush's large tax reductions."

 We're borrowing money (that your kids will have to repay) to give hueueueueuege
 tax cuts to the richest of the super-rich, so why are the Democrats not fighting this harder?

 Bart, you have a poor memory.
 We support Dubya, our president.
 Fighting is wrong, and it's not polite! the way, can you send us some money?

 Protest banners

 Monday's USA Today said New York, Washington, San Francisco etc were expecting peace marches
 again this Saturday - with crowds that might equal the millions we saw the weekend of  Feb 15-16.

 If you go, consider adding  to your banner and take a picture that we can publish.


"To be sure, one Supreme Court Justice is very "troubled." Clarence Thomas has gone mad. Last month, when confronted
 with mountainous documentation of systematic exclusion of Blacks from Dallas juries, Thomas stood alone in rejecting a
 condemned Black man's plea for a new trial. Even hangman Justice Antonin Scalia blanched at the raw racism that had
 ensured a death verdict for Thomas Miller-El. Yet, where eight white colleagues saw cause for doubt, Clarence Thomas
 discerned only ''circumstantial evidence and speculation'' of prosecutorial wrongdoing. There was no "clear and convincing
 evidence that any peremptory strikes of black veniremen [jurors] were exercised because of race.'' Clarence Thomas acts
 as if he were white in 1940s Cuthbert, Georgia, a place and time that his mentor Scalia would rather pretend never existed."
  -- my good friends at

 From: Jim L

 Subject: I Mean It, Too

 This is important to me.  I took note of your "website has been restrained" posting, grabbed my rifle,
 and took off for Lexington Green.  I e-mailed Atrios, MediaWhores, Rittenhouse, and telephoned KTVU
 news (Oakland, Ca.), KRON news (San Francisco) and KCBS radio (San  Francisco) thinking Ashcroft's
 dogs had you at bay.  Now I feel quite  the fool. Hardee-har-har, and a big "fuck you all"!

 Semper Fi
 Jim L

 Jim, sorry you feel that way.
 There was never any intent to trick anybody, at least not for more than a few seconds.
 I expected everyone to scroll down and see the second paragraph and the rest of that issue
 but according to my mail an awful lot of people failed to scroll and were startled.

 I appreciate your willingness to help.

  Click  Here

 I think its clear why we need to go to Iraq and smother Saddam and his murderous regime.
 I think all the world understands this with the exception of the countries that are in bed with them.

Marty's E! page
Dave's guest host tonight is Megan Mullally
Bill Clinton narrates the Arkansas Symphony Orchestra
Sid & Marty Krofft are cleaning out their closet
Dixie Chicks pissing off Freepers
Fred Durst keeps getting better & better
Filming on 'The Sopranos' has been suspended - no paychecks for cast or crew
Eminem won't be performing on the Oscars
Michael Jackson lost a $5.3 million jury verdict
McDonald's & the McArabia
More Disney family values with 'Sieg Heil On Your Dial'
Bob Uecker is entering the baseball hall of fame (as an announcer)
And the basic cable network rankings



"Gandolfini's agents believe they're holding a gun to HBO's head to get them to pay this massive
  salary increase, but it's really a water pistol -- and doesn't even have any water in it."
    --HBO lawyer Bert Fields, on the lawsuit filed by James Gandolfini seeking release from the show,

 At first, I thought Gandolfini was screwing this up. But then HBO filed a $100M countersuit,
 saying that's how much money they would lose if Gandolfini abandoned the show.

 Well HBO, if Gandolfini is worth $100M to you, give him the $20M he wants!
 Sounds like you're making a 400 percent return on your money.

 Subject: Just a brief point I'd like to raise...

 If we attack Iraq and Iraq has none of the chemical or biological weapons the Bush claims he has,
 then that would prove that the attack's raison d'etre was invalid.

 But if the administration actually has the proof that Saddam does have such weapons and Saddam
 uses those weapons against our soldiers, isn't Bush knowingly sending those soldiers to their deaths?

 If the administration is lying, Iraq should be conquered in a matter of days, but the whole premise of
 the attack will have been bogus.  But if the administration is telling the truth, a lot of soldiers will be
 marching into a horrifying death -- and BUSH KNOWS IT!

 How could any responsible Commander-in-Chief not conscientiously look
 for an alternative to war?


 Wurx, for this to happen, two things must happen at the same time:
 1. The president would have to be a blood-thirsty, moronic Chimp.
 2. The military mindset that dying under Bush is better than living under Clinton.

 Unfortunately, both of those statements are true.
 We wish things were different, but they're not.

 BartCop Radio

 The more I think about it, the more I know this is going to f-ing rock.

 It's true - some regulars might be repulsed by my unending pummelling of the Nazi right.
 Others might find it a cool, refreshing change from the non-stop McWarhardon coddling.
 Besides, we'll have the same mix of important stuff and unimportant stuff.

 So far, I have a microphone, headphones and an FX box.
 Next week I'm going to buy the mixing board - the most important piece of equiment.
 (Damn, those are expensive!)

 We're almost there!

 In a few days we'll buy more parts to build  BartCop Radio  a piece at a time.

 We're working on it right this second.
 Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
 Reminder:Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


 You say you can't afford to subscribe?
 What happens if Bush wins  steals another four years?
 Can you afford that?

 They own the TV networks.
 They own the major newspapers.
 They own the weekly news magazines.
 They own talk radio.

 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to support BartCop Radio big-time

 If we don't fact, we're just soldiers in Happy Crack's Insanity Brigade.

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 Bartcop, you claim that Rush vilifies anyone in Hollywood who isn't a Nazi activist.
 The truth is the precise opposite: any actor who expresses a view that even remotely
 goes against Hollywood's leftist winds--or, more appropriately, typhoons--is wrongly
 labelled an ultra-conservative.

 Subject: My wishlist of questions for Bush...

 Hi Bartcop:

 As far as I am concerned, the only 'regime' launching scuds, is the American press.
 What benign, irrelevant questions -- "uh...please define leadership"!

 Here is a list of questions I wish the press had asked at Bush's press conference:

 1. In your opinion, what precedent is being created for rising powers, such as China and India, when the
 United States is willing to unilaterally invade, and occupy, a sovereign nation because of the possibility
 it may be armed with WMD?

 2. If low-level air-strikes have targeted military targets such as anti-aircraft batteries and radar stations,
 over a period of twelve years; If the Iraqi military is 1/3 of the size it was before the Gulf War; If Western
 intelligence has monitored Iraqi activities for twelve years: Why is their no substantial evidence in existence,
 or made available, of iraqi possession of WMD? Also, why is this nation a threat to the United States?
 Is our intelligence that incompetent or is Saddam's technology so vastly superior that he has managed
 to deceive the entire world?

 3. Does your administration believe that an invasion, and subsequent long-term US presence in Iraq
 will stabilize the middle east and mitigate the threat of terrorism? Please elaborate.

 4. The vice president presided over the board of Halliburton during a period when the company that had
 a direct stake in the re-construction of oil fields after the Gulf War. The secretary of defense was a
 participant in efforts to provide logistical and military support, including the sale of components capable
 of creating biological and chemical weapons, to the Iraqi regime during the Reagan Administration.
 Do you think that this creates a conflict of interest, in terms of your administrations relationship with
 the Iraqi government?

  Jason M.

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