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Volume 1030 - Mass Distraction

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 Thursday  March 27, 2003 


"He's not stupid, he's just drunk. All the black people
  who voted for Bush are both on his cabinet."
    -- Chris Rock, who was told to "knock it off" by studio suits

  Full  Story

"We expect our boys to be treated nice."

 Bracing for Bush's War at Home
  Ground Laid for Historic Power Grab

  Click  Here

 An ugly theory popped up in Washington. Bush would wait until war began, and worry gripped
 the homeland, to ram a staggering package of domestic security measures through a Congress
 silenced by fears of seeming unpatriotic. Such measures would radically expand the executive
 branch powers already inflated by the 2001 USA Patriot Act.

 On Friday—Justice Department spokesperson Mark Corallo confirmed that such measures were coming.
 Exact details are confined to "internal deliberations," he said, but the proposals "will be filling in the
 holes" of the Patriot Act, "refining things that will enable us to do our job."

 But a new, comprehensive review of Bush's growing presidential power hardly reveals any "holes."
 Rather—using court positions, internal policy changes, and secret decisions as bricks—the
 administration has built the executive branch into a fortress, nearly invulnerable to the checks
 of the judiciary and Congress.

 Despots R Us
 They've got the guns but we've got the numbers
   by my good friend Alan Bisbort

  Click  Here

 My sense of Bush as a despot was confirmed when it was noted by a Knight Ridder
 correspondent that, just prior to addressing the nation on March 20, he was pumping
 his fist in the air, mugging for cameras and saying things like "Feels good."

 This, my fellow Americans, is a sick man. I can't prove it, of course, and my charge can easily
 be dismissed as partisan demonizing (something the right wing does so much better than I do).
 But I know this in my gut. It's just palpably, undeniably there, if you have the stomach to look for it.

 CNN's Paula Zahn = partisan witch

 Thursday morning, she was unable to hide her disgust and contempt for anyone
 with an opinion other than her "I-want-to-have-Bush's baby" hero worship.

 They went to a live protest in New York, and Paula sneered,
 "It looks like there are more cops than protestors, is that right?"

 And the local lady said, "No, Paula. All you're seeing is the arrested people
 who are in the streets.  There are many more protestors on the sidewalks."

 Paula let out a groan of disgust.
 Geez, by comparison, she makes Candy Crowley (R-Butterqueen) look objective.

 Paula, go back to FOX so you can wear your swastika on your sleeve.


"Democrats want to know the specific detailed costs of the war.
  Well, I would like to know how much these protests are costing this country.”
     --Rush the vulgar Pigboy

 Hey Pigboy, you're against protests now?
 I remember when we had elected leaders, you gave out Hillary's schedule every day,
 so your mindless ditto-monkeys would know where to show up and scream obscenities at her.

 But when our young men are dying for no reason, protest is bad?

 Bush Delays Opening Secret Documents
  Illegal "president" continues to cloak their actions

  Click  Here

 Bush today signed an order that will delay the release of millions of government documents
 and make it easier for presidents and their administrations to keep historical records secret.

 The White House disclosed a new policy that has drawn criticism from historians in an e-mail
 to reporters early this evening, at the end of a day of news about the war in Iraq.
 Bush's order postpones that declassification for three more years, to Dec. 31, 2006.

 ...and the press says, "We're with you, Mr President."

 In 2006, Bush will sign another order to delay it even longer, since the press doesn't care.

 Reminder: This gang of thugs was already caught, tried and convicted, but Poppy
                              pardoned everyone to bury evidence of their global crimes forever.

 Bush the Dim hired the same thugs to run Homeland Security. Unlimited budget,
 no oversight, the legal authority to murder any suspect and one more little bonus:

  ...all the billions they can steal as far as the eye can see.

 Why doesn't anybody care?

 Bart, it's only our freedom, our money and our Constitution!
 Why do you sweat the small stuff?

 Blah blah blah blah blah

  Click  Here

 Subject: The Shield


 Have been reading and enjoying your site daily since I discovered it a few months ago.
 However, I'm afraid I have to take exception to your rather over-the-top raving over this
 show and its glorification of civil rights-trampling fascist cops. I would guess, judging from
 your unabashed affection for the series, that you have never spent any time in jail,  or any
 other penal institution, and, in fact have probably never been arrested or been the object of
 any police investigation.   These clowns would just as soon the people that they're after didn't
 have any rights at all, and, while you might admire the show for its realism, you can't possibly
 agree with this show's guilty-til-proven-otherwise premise.

 Believe me, there is nothing "cool" about them or any show glorifying the worst of their behavior.


 Doug, it's a TV show.
 I'm trying to be nice here, but you're basically saying The Godfather, which most people say
 is the best film of all time, is watched by people who are pro-mob - same for The Sopranos.

 There's a reason why Michael Chiklis won the Emmy for Best Actor,
 and why the show won a Golden Globe for Best Drama.

 The Shield doesn't define who I am, it's just an exciting and well-done drama.

Please visit our sponsors.  Now with working link!


"You can fight a war on terrorism and do it legitimately and do it without sacrificing civil
  liberties in the United States, but it requires a certain intelligence and sophistication be
  brought to the table. So maybe we ought to start grading presidential candidates for an IQ."
     --Gen. Merrill A. "Tony" McPeak, retired former chief of staff of the U.S. Air Force,

"What does he mean?
  I have an I.Q...."

 Trucker: I Did It To Support The Troops

  Click  Here

 A man arrested on charges that he drove his semi-trailer toward a small group
 of antiwar protesters on the sidewalk of a highway overpass said he didn't intend to hurt anyone.

 "My intent was to get people off the bridge," James Watters said after his release from jail Tuesday.
 "I was doing it for the boys overseas."

 Police charged Watters with aggravated menacing, inducing panic and reckless operation of a vehicle.
 He was released after relatives posted a $240 cash bond.

 A $240 bond?
 For aiming his giant truck as pedestrians on the sidewalk?

 It's a good thing this wasn't a teenager with a joint at a concert.
 That kid would get $5000 bond, because pot can kill!


"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best
  golfer is a black guy, The Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the
  U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
     --Dave Paulsen

 I meant every word, and most of us know you're a decent person with a strong conscience;
 if you weren't you wouldn't be doing this, but you're not going to be nice on bartcop radio,
 and I and many others I'm sure don't want you to be;  I want you to truth-hammer the shit
 out of each and every one of those dittomonkeys, nazis, etc. with no mercy.

 It is long overdue, and I believe that you're just the man to do it.   That is what I look forward to
 most of all, and you are doing a great job with your website.  To me, your site is sort of an oasis
 away from the insanity, and a place to laugh at the fools.  The Rush Limbaugh's, Ann Coulters, etc.
 have gotten away with too much for too damn long.  I just want you to keep up the good work,
 and I'll be here, doing what I can to help.


 migs, you are correct - I will not be nice to the bastards on the radio show.
 The audio hammer pounds much harder than the written word.
 I'm sure I'll lose subscribers when the big hammer falls the first few times.
 But I can only say whats in my head and there's no time to dissect every
 sentence to see if somebody, somewhere might get offended by it.

 Hell, I might pick up a few subscribers - people who think I'm too soft now.

Only a whore could love this war.


"What does it matter to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless
  whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of
  totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?"
       --Mahatma Gandhi

"They should get out of the way
 of the bombs we're dropping."


"I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind - that its
  modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been more
  than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.
     --  Henry Louis Mencken

 Yo, Bart,

 I'm unemployed right now and my wife and I are expecting our first child soon.
 I think that's all I need to say to indicate how much I value your voice.

 While I've got your attention, I wanted to mention a few things.

 First, I disagree with you over Michael Moore.  His speech was not inappropriate at all.

 Second, you urge people to contact Daschle, et. al., but you never urge anyone to run for office themselves.
 I still believe in this country and I try to contribute to the betterment of it.  Do you know how we can get
 rid of the Pink Tutus?  By knocking them out at the fucking  ballot box (well, if Chuck Nagel lets us, at least).

 Lastly, you're probably going to use this $10 for broadcasting equipment or a new motherboard
 or something practical.  Fine.  Do what you need to.

 However, I strongly urge you to drop that silly tequila and try Knob Creek Bourbon.
 Pour over ice with a bit of sweet vermouth and a splash of bitters.  Stir, sip and enjoy.
 Two or three of those (depending on the size of your pour and your liver) and you'll
 almost forget how fucked up the current administration is.

 David M

 From:  Philip Zuspan

 Subject: War

 You poor liberal bastards and bitches just can't stand the fact that an overwhelming majority
 of Americans want to forcibly remove Saddam from power.   You'll just be beside yourselves
 when the liberation of Iraq results in the de-stabilization of OPEC.

(Using the state's computer to spread hate)
 Philip Zuspan

 Philip, "overwhelming majority?"  Who told you that, Rush or Hannity?

 ...and even if it was true, (it's not) it would be because people are working two jobs
 to make up for their stock market losses under the Commander in Thief and don't have
 time to get into politics, but since Bush has linked Saddam to 9-11, of course some people
 want him toppled. They're just being lied to.

 This war is a weapon of mass distraction while Bush empties the Treasury.
 Did you know $11 trillion was missing before the war started? How much
 have you, personally, lost in the stock market since the illegal coup of 2000?

 ...and tell me, Philip, how big was your tax cut?

 Oh, that's right, you and me didn't get a tax cut.
 That only went to the richest one percent of the super-rich.
 All you and I got was a $300 loan - what you do with yours?

 You were right about one thing, ...the de-stabilization of OPEC.
 The Bush Family is going to own the Middle East, no matter how many brave men must
 be sacrificed to make that happen.  Who's next, Iran?  You ready for eternal war, Philip?

 Philip, you're a monkey who's had your wallet stolen and your bank account emptied
 and your savings depleted, but you're screaming "What a nice guy that robber was!"

 I've never seen someone enjoy a screwing as much as you.

 Catching Up

 A while back, I believe it was Julie RB in Duval came up with the idea of
 sending Helen Thomas a Valentine to say "Thank you" for being courageous.

 Sam Dent of Tulsa and others collected money and coordinated this effort.
 I'll let Sam explain the rest of it:

 Someone requested a list of what was bought. I forget that not everyone
 who gave is a Bartcop Forum regular reader so I apologize for not having
 included this information earlier. Here are the details:

 A sterling silver pen from Tiffany & Co engraved "HT".
 An Elsa Peretti "Open Heart" platinum pendant from Tiffany & Co
 Five bouquets of flowers (one of which was a potted peace lily)
 A bottle of Chinaco Anejo Tequila
 A godiva velvet heart box of chocolates (we wanted South's Finest, but they don't deliver)

 Note: Possible communication breakdown here - I got some delivered via UPS two weeks ago

 All being delivered via UPS/Fedex...unfortunately no personal delivery.
 It's arriving on Feb 13th and going to the attention of her assistant.
 Helen will be in the office the morning of the 14th.

 Here are some of the messages that were sent with the gifts:

"You are the last great hope for true journalism,
  may a new generation follow in your footsteps."

"To the greatest woman in journalism history, we love you. - America"

"Happy Valentines Day! You are a national treasure."

"Helen, you're not alone!
And when you get up to speak, you remind us, that we're not either."

"With much love and gratitude, your friends at Bartcop, MediaWhoresOnline,
 and TakeBackTheMedia." (this message with the pendant).

 Santhoshi from the BC Forum is also sending some personal artwork of some pretty cool
 cosmic hearts in space sorta stuff. She posted a picture of that to the forum so photo is available.
 I'm sure others are sending her things directly to her office but I can't remember exactly what.

 Sam, thanks for doing that.

 Subject: Wanda Sykes


 Thanks for the reminder about Wanda Sykes.  Her show was hilarious!

 I love your site, it helps me keep my spirits up.  I know everyone says this,
 but I do plan to donate as soon as I can, but I'm just a po' lil' underpaid
 grad student, so cash can be tight.

 What do you think of Howard Dean's speech in California?


 I missed Dean's California speech, but I wasn't
 too happy with the last thing I heard from him.

 The "we gotta get behind the president" quote I didn't appreciate was in
 USA Today last Friday. I lost my dead trees copy, so I went to their website
 to find the quote, punched in "Howard Dean," and of course it wasn't there.

 Hell, USA Today could've been mistaken, they could've been lying, but it was
 on the same page as a Daschle cave in and I circled both quotes.

 If only we had a media or government that could tell the truth.


"His real problem is the behaviour of Blair's friend in Washington, President Bush, who
  recently held a press conference that was notable for its smirking, sneering arrogance.
  He just can't stop that cocky little curl of his mouth that says: "We're the biggest,
  we're the best, we're gonna beat everyone." This is a man who reacted to the war by
  nipping off to Camp David and still insists on his eight hours' sleep, blissfully immune
  to any stresses caused by the Shock and Awe bombing campaign he's unleashed...:"
   -- Mirror.Co.Uk News, which is not owned by the B.F.E.E.

"I need my rest
 ...and my special pillow."

 Last night's TV
 (I'll be brief)

 Survivor was weird - one girl dropped her panties just to show the others. Is that TV?
 West Wing was good, but not great. Sometimes my not yet good friend Aaron Sorkin gets
 stuck in a moment and he can't get out of it. Last night, Amy's framables kept falling off the walls.
 I remember one episode when Rob Lowe spent the entire hour talking about pennies.

 Wanda was laugh-out-loud funny, but the USA Today reviewer was right when he said
 her friends and her kid were just distractions between rants - she's a funny lady, tho.
 I didn't catch The Shield because I've seen it 2-3 times already - did you see it?
 Wasn't that border crossing a hoot?

 The Law & Order was a liberal's nightmare - a black kid shot a cop because he was angry
 at the world, so the black members of the jury let him go. And what's with the blonde DA?
 It looked like a different woman was playing her role - her face has changed since last week.

 The biggest disappointment was the replay of Hagler vs Hearns boxing match.
 They MTV-ed us to death. I counted - that first, fantastic round was interrupted seven times
 by interviews with the fighters, announcers and boxing affectionados. They'd throw a few punches
 and then larry Merchant told us how he felt that night. I was looking forward to the original call
 of the fight, but they never played it - that's cheating. It was a hack job. They took a great piece
 of sports history and "fixed it" for us, the bastards. Usually HBO gets things right, but not this time.
 I've seen better patchwork at the 4077th when it was below freezing.

 Subject: I don't get a line

 I agree the popular media is not at all liberal -- that is a myth -- except ...
 I don't like to think I'm terminally stupid, but could you explain the line below?
 I just don't get it.

> Even you ditto-sheep have to admit that nobody on that list
> has EVER defended a fabricated lie against the president.

 Bob S

 Bob, it makes sense to me because I know what I meant :)

 Nobody on that ditto-monkey list has ever defended Clinton, even when he was right.
 Even if they know for a fact a charge isn't true, they're getting paid to lie. We can't get
 unbiased opinions from anybody, and when the right-wing talking heads outnumber the
 lefties who represent the majority 5-to-1, people hear Clinton attacks and nothing else.

is coming.

 Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
 Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


 You say you can't afford to subscribe?
 What happens if Bush wins  steals another four years?
 Can you afford that?

 They own the TV networks, the papers, the news magazines and talk radio.

 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to support BartCop Radio big-time

 If we don't fight back, we're on Bush's team.


 He was one of the last thinking senators we had, its depressing....we're suffering serious
 attrition....Wellstone's gone now him...I think the democratic party is ashamed to be liberal.
 And that ***** sucks. Anyways, I apologise for the vent, just wanted to make sure you
 mentioned it somewhere in the next edition.

 Keep Hammering

 Adi, I didn't want to give my opinion of Moynihan - out of respect.

Marty's E! page
Wanda Sykes on Conan
Erin Hart's birthday
Bill Maher is live in NYC
More naked women for peace
Warren Zevon albums to be re-issued
Martin Sheen's mouth taped shut
Billy Bob Thornton & Komodo Dragons
2 Phish concerts in Maine
Saddam Hussein & the key to Detroit
Reba picked up for year 3
Lisa Marie Presley spits a mouthful in Rolling Stone
The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire
And, a statue in Caracas is crying tears o' blood
(ha ha, those Catholics know how to make a buck)


 Iraq War Quiz

  Click  Here

 The anti-war movement supports our troops by urging that they be brought home
 immediately so they neither kill nor get killed in a unjust war. How has the Bush
 administration shown its support for our troops?

 A. The Republican-controlled House Budget Committee voted to cut $25 billion
      in veterans benefits over the next 10 years.

 B. The Bush administration proposed cutting $172 million from impact aid programs
      which provide school funding for children of military personnel.

 C. The administration ordered the Dept. of Veterans Affairs to stop publicizing
      health benefits available to veterans.

 D. All of the above.

"What can I say?
 The rich need tax relief."

 Subject: That's where it went!

 Hey Bart... I was looking for yesterday's issue to make a point, and looked real dumb,
 cause your "Previous Issue" link on today's page linked to issue 1027, when it should link to 1028!


 Tim, I try my best, but that often doesn't get the job done.
 Someday I'll have a staff and I'll be dangerous.


"In a story that reads like the transcripts of John Gotti talking to Sammy “the Bull,”
  Time magazine reports that for more than year the Bush banter in the White House
  has been spiced with vows to knock off Saddam. “Fuck him,” Bush snarled.
“We’re taking him out.” This murderous apostrophe was uttered more than a year
  before his precious UN resolution. So this war has already lost its pretext. To all but
  the most gullible, it must now be clear that this has nothing to do with WMD or liberation.
  It’s a clumsily scripted revenge play. Bush is playing the role of the slightly mad and
  half-witted son out to avenge his father. Indeed, this strange war pits a pair of lesser sons
  against each other, each trying to rack up a bigger body count than their fathers."
       --Jeffrey St. Clair, Life During Wartime,

 Our audio mail box

 This is for radio bits, sound bites, parody songs -etc.
 We need pretty much everything - if it's short and funny - send it.

Thanks to  Micah Wright

 Advertising on

 For a limited time, you can buy two ads for $80 or ten ads for $300.
 If you go with the $300 package, you should get more than six "views" per penny.

the business address for more details.
 Also, page advertisers will be mentioned on the sure-to-be-a-smash hit 


"America, as the world's most far-flung military power, has a strong interest in how captured
 soldiers are treated. This means insisting that other governments honor the Geneva Convention's
 requirements, and scrupulously following them itself. That applies not only to the handling of Iraqi
 captives in this war, but also to Washington's highly irregular treatment of [the taliban in Cuba.]
 Washington will obviously demand that Americans captured in Iraq be treated in full accordance
 with all relevant Geneva Conventions. It should make sure that its own handling of battlefield
 captives sets the desired example"
    --N.Y. Times Editorial, Protecting Prisoners of War

"I don't have to obey the law.
 I am Emporer Bush."

 BartCop - all he has is a webcasting studio, a smart mouth and the truth.

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