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Volume 1031 - Valhalla, we are coming

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 Friday  March 28, 2003 


"Bush never pinned the blame for  9-11 attacks directly on the Iraqi president.
  Still, the overall effect was to reinforce an impression that persists among much of the American public."
     --Linda Feldmann, Christian Science Monitor, Polls Suggest Media Failure in Pre-War Coverage

"Oh, did I give that impression?
  I didn't realize..."

 The Inside Story of Bush's Iraq Agenda
  A TIME magazine (R-Whores) article, yet it could possibly be true

  Click  Here

"Fuck Saddam. We're taking him out."
 Those were the words of President Pinhead, who had poked his head into the office of Condi Rice (R-Oil tanker).
 It was March 2002, and Rice was meeting with three U.S. Senators, discussing how to deal with Iraq through the UN,
 or perhaps in a coalition with America's Middle East allies. Bush wasn't interested. He waved his hand dismissively,
 recalls a participant, and neatly summed up his Iraq policy in that short phrase. The Senators laughed uncomfortably;
 Rice flashed a knowing smile. The President left the room.

 You mean Bush lied to us for this entire last year when he said he hadn't made up his mind?
 I'm shocked - a God-fearin', plain-talkin', straight-shootin' fella like Dubya?

 I agree with Bart - Bush wouldn't lie - not just to get richer.
 TIME Magazine must have misunderstood that quote, or something.

 I was being sarcastic, you candy-ass, enabling wanker.
 Tell me, Tom - how can you cash your paycheck every month?

 Richard Perle Quits Amid Controversy
  Warmonger fired for bungling the war?

  Click  Here

 Richard Perle, a former assistant secretary of defense, resigned as chairman of a Pentagon advisory group,
 saying he did not want controversy over a business deal to distract Rummy from murdering Iraq.

 Plans Under Way for 'Christianizing' the Enemy

  Click  Here

"Two  leading evangelical Christian missionary organizations said Tuesday that they have teams of
 workers poised to enter Iraq to address the physical and spiritual needs of a large Muslim population...
 "The hope is that as the war front moves and the situation in the outlying areas improves, we'll be able
 to send mobile teams in.  'Our understanding of relief ministries is that anytime you give a cup of cold water
 in the name of Jesus you've shared God's love in a real physical way. That also raises the question as to
 why you did that. When people ask you, you explain that it's because of the love of God that has been
 poured out into my life and I have a deep desire that you know that same love as well.'"

 It's like having Ann Coulter as Secretary of Defense.


 Remember her famous quote - "Let's bomb them, kill all their leaders
 and turn them into a nation of Christianity" - something like that.
 Bush plans to free them from their "gutter religion" and replace it with a "good" religion. 

 We live in insane times, with an insane, unelected moron taking over whatever countries have oil.


"It's very rare to find a perception that's been so disputed by experts yet firmly held by the public.
  There's almost nothing the public doesn't believe about Saddam Hussein."
   --Carroll Doherty, editor of the Pew Research Center

 That's because America's not-free press has been ordered to cover-up Bush's real motives by Mr Rove.
 Seventy percent think Saddam directed 9-11, but the people paying attention know thtat's just another Bush lie.

 Hey, as long as America's dictator gets his unearned and stolen oil.

 Polls Suggest Media Failure in Pre-War Coverage
  Public Believes Saddam Was Behind 9-11 and Has Nukes

  Click  Here

"So, what motivated Americans to back their president throughout the winter of discontent -- when much
 of the rest of the world strongly disagreed with the need for war now? Of course, there were many reasons,
 ranging from partisan politics to genuine hatred and fear of the evil Saddam. But there was another key factor:
 Somehow, despite the media's exhaustive coverage of the post-9/11 world and the Saddam threat, a very large
 segment of the American public remained un- or misinformed about key issues related to the Iraqi crisis...."

 Protests Turn Off Viewers

  Click  Here

 Covering war protesters may be bad for business. That's among the findings of
 new research from Frank N. Magid Associates, the influential news consulting firm.

 So, the bastards who own CNN, FOX News and the networks would rather see
 Iraq murdered than tell the truth about protests because it's better for business?
 Wal-Mart has blamed "CNN-itis" for slumping sales.

 I'm so shocked.
 I always thought the news media were honest.

 How many thousands will die so network shareholders can get that extra nickel?


"I think the fact that they didn't include funding for 9/11 Commission - didn't warn Gov. Kean that they
  weren't going to include it, didn't return my phone call—suggests to me that they see this as a convenient
  way for allowing the commission to fail. They've never wanted the commission and I feel the White House
  has always been looking for a way to kill it without having their finger on the murder weapon."
    -- Stephen Push, a leader of the 9/11 victims' families,  9-11 Commission Funding Woes

 Bush can't afford to have 9-11 investigated because he's more involved than America knows.

"We can't afford to look into 9-11 and have tax cuts,
 so I decided tax cuts were more important. If you
 don't like it, vote against me in 2004 - ha ha ha."

 Shirley does the Ramones!

 Hi Bart,

 I just wanted to let you know, in case you weren't aware, there is a tribute album to the Ramones
 wherein your girl Shirley and her band cover a song.  Please forgive me for saying this, but Garbage
 isn't really one of my favorites, however they really kick ass with the song they cover.

 Also, U2 covers a song, as well as The Pretenders, the Offspring, Rob Zombie, Kiss, Metallica and others.
 Oh yeah, Steven King does the liner notes.  How f-in cool can you get?!?!?

 If ever a band deserved a tribute, it is the Ramones. Who would've thought so much genius could
 come from 3 chords?  Probably my only regret in life is that I never got to see them.

 Anyhow, Bart, keep the hammer swingin', and if you're ever in the Toledo area,
 I would LOOOOVE to do a shot of Chinaco with you!

 Take care,

 Carrie Anne

 Carrie Anne, I forgive you. :)

 Subject: Limbaugh claims HE'S part of the us military!?

 "I want people to remain optimistic," Mr. Limbaugh said. "I'm not trying to avoid realism.
 There's no question that we have had setbacks. But we're the United States military;
 there's no way we're going to lose this."


 Mr Boil-in-the-Bag/Butt ChickenHawk gets to feel the vicarious thrill
 of burning a village without having to get his tie crooked.

 Kevin C C.


“The only branch of government the Democrats still control is ‘The West Wing.’
 ‘West Wing’ has nothing to do with the way the White House works. Believe me, I’ve been there.”
    --toe-sucking liar Dick Morris

 Blowing Sands and Mud Rain

  Click  Here

 By day, the soldiers from the 101st were kept busy reinforcing the camp they have set up here
 in central Iraq, primarily a base for the helicopter gunships flown by the division. The official name
 is Forward Operating Base Shell; another similar base is called Exxon.

 One thing's for certain - this bloody, bloody war is not about securing Iraq's oil for the Corrupt Commander..

Only a whore could love this war.


“Of course not — we have no military.”
   --Helgi Agustsson, Iceland’s ambassador, when asked
      if his country would be supplying troops

"...but I still count them as a coalition partner."

 Subject: The Answer to Everything

 I'm not telling you anything you don't already know here, Bartcop. I'm just looking at it and wondering
 if any '04 Dem candidate can overcome it. (For brevity purposes, I'm even leaving out the whole Orwellian angle.
 And the anti-separation church/state angle. And the bottom-up redistribution-of-wealth angle. Let's just say many angles.)

 The Answer to Everything

 Speaking in political (certainly) and practical terms, if you're in charge, what's the best way to:

 1) control energy resources for profit?

 2) control a resources-rich region for power over everyone dependent on those resources? (not to mention
     all non-energy business opportunities -- an untapped market  for consumerism to boot)

 3) protect and expand Israel?

 4) exercise a new national defense policy to send a worldwide message that you will not be deterred from achieving your interests?

 5) immediately prevent one specific blowback-dictator's potential WMD from harming us?

 6) stir up a hornet's nest of hostile worldwide backlash to be engaged in future conflicts, thereby
     establishing a constant flow of revenue for the military industrial complex?

 7) screw the political opponent, making it extremely difficult for them to obstruct any of the above?
     (Republicans are solid, unwavering in their position, whereas  Democrats are poised to cannibalize
     themselves and send a weakend wishy-washy '04 candidate before a terrified public)

 The answer to all these questions is simple.

 Bomb Iraq.

 It's the answer to everything. Why wouldn't they do it?

 Fish man


"It sucks to work hard all day on something and then
  have some stupid glitches and typos diminish your efforts."
    -- Barry Crimmins

 Dude, I've been there.
 Hang in there, and don't stop publishing.

 Click  Here  for Barry's Crimquips

"I never have problems.
 Daddy fixes things for me."

 Democratic Party leaders embrace Bush’s war of aggression

  Click  Here

 Nancy Pelosi negotiated the text with Tom DeLay (That's gotta be fun - working with The Squirrel)
 and voted for it. Eleven Democrats voted against the resolution, while proclaiming their support for American
 troops, citing unwillingness to endorse Bush’s leadership. Jim McDermott of Washington state said, “I, for one,
 will not be forced to praise the president’s decisions, when what I want to do is praise the troops.”

We're coming... country at a time.
 Think you can stop us?


 I'll thank you people not to insult Kim Bauer from 24.
 I happen to worship the water she walks on.

 Michael C

 Dude, I'm with you - as a man.
 Wasn't it Todd Rundgren who said, "They may be stupid but they sure are fun?"
 Don't write me, complain to Todd.

 But she really does break new ground in stupidity.

"What's wrong with being stupid?
  It don't hold me back...
  I are stupid and Unka Dick says I'm presidental."

 Subject: What's next??

 I keep thinking that things can't possibly get any worse. Yet this administration keeps
 pushing and pushing the envelope and taking and taking from working families. They won't
 be happy until  a sweat shop is the only work option and debtor's prisons are in back in vogue.
 Oliver Twist my ass .

What an odious bunch of SOB's. I'm getting ready to rumble in '04.
 If we don't, there won't be anything left .

 Dave  G

 Dave, sounds like a good reason to assist with the birth of .

 Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
 Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


 You say you can't afford to subscribe?
 What happens if Bush wins  steals another four years?
 Can you afford that?

 They own the TV networks, the papers, the news magazines and talk radio.

 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to support BartCop Radio big-time

 If we don't fight back, we're on Bush's team.

Marty's E! page
Chris Rock is on Regis and Conan
Bill Moyers on PBS & Bill Maher on HBO
Mr. Cranky reviews the war coverage
Hollywood is backing away from selling the war
No more apologies from the Dixie Chicks
The United Way bagged Susan Sarandon
J. Lo did a duet with Bono
Madonna blasts manufactured pop
Platypus twins
John Lennon's childhood home donated to the National Trust
AOL/Time/Warner to charge for online magazines
A mid-western meteor shower
Robert Blake - happy to be alive
And, British troops are scavenging for Iraqi army boots


“I know people think this will pay for the war. It will not.
  This is, in my view, the first installment.” 
     --Rep. David Obey (D-Wis.), accusing the Bush administration of lowballing the cost of the war

 My good friend Jim Higdon says a Stanford study shows the war will cost $1,400,000,000,000.00 trillion.
 Even tho I was raised Catholic, and don't have much of an IQ,                       $74,000,000,000.00 trillion.
 I don't think Bush's 74B will be enough to cover Stanford's (no reason to lie) $1.4 trillion

"Big numbers scare some people.
 Mr Rove said to ask for it in chunks."

New Voting Systems Assailed
 Computer Experts Cite Fraud Potential

  Click  Here

 As election officials update the country's voting machines with electronic systems,
 computer scientists are mounting a challenge to the new devices, saying they are
 less reliable and less secure from fraud than the equipment they are replacing.

 Officials in Maryland, Georgia, Florida and Texas installed the high-tech voting systems last fall.
 Officials in those states, and other proponents of electronic voting, said theirts' concerns are far-fetched.

"These systems, because of the testing, are the most reliable systems available," said Michael Barnes,
 who oversaw Georgia's statewide upgrade. "People were happy with how they operated."

 In Maryland, "the system performed flawlessly in the two statewide elections last year," said Joseph Torre,
 the official overseeing the purchase of the state's new systems. "The public has a lot of confidence in it, and they love it."

 Who loves it?
 Again, we see what hapens when the sheepy Democrats refuse to fight, or even express concerns.
 That last go-round, the Democrats didn't get the votes the polls said they would.
 Remember the FIVE Republican candidates who all got the exact same number of votes?
 Plus, it's my understanding they've made it illegal to verify the accuracy of these machines,
 so who did the testing? The GOP-owned company who built them?  We can trust them?

 What company is going to sell the government thousands of expensive machines and then say,
 "We're not convinced the accuracy you need is there, but please buy our product anyway?"

 Thanks, Democrats.
 Thanks for bending over for the Republicans and not raising your voice when your candidates
 that were safely ahead in the pre-election polls were soundly whipped by Diebold.

 But Bart, the Republicans are honest.
 They only want to win if the voting is fair and square.
 I'm afraid you see goblins in too many places.

 I know you're afraid, but why cash your payycheck if you're too afraid to represent the majority of voters?
 But at least you got the goblins part right.   I see the sons of bitches everywhere, and you do, too.
 You just don't have the stones to fight back.


"We kinda figured out that getting shot at isn't so bad. It's getting shot that's bad."
     --Wounded Staff Sgt. Jaime Villafane at a press conference Thursday

"It's for a good cause, Son..."

 Our audio mail box

 This is for radio bits, sound bites, parody songs -etc.
 We need pretty much everything - if it's short and funny - send it.

Thanks to  Micah Wright

 Advertising on

 For a limited time, you can buy two ads for $80 or ten ads for $300.
 If you go with the $300 package, you should get more than six "views" per penny.

the business address for more details.
 Also, page advertisers will be mentioned on the sure-to-be-a-smash hit 


"Armed force and coercion are the antonyms of democracy so isn't using tanks
  and cannons to spit out `liberty' and `democracy' a mite ironic?"
     --editorial in People's Daily in China

"I'm sorry, China. I'm very, very sorry.
  We won't do it again, I apologize..."

 BartCop - all he has is a webcasting studio, a smart mouth and the truth.

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                Shirley, daughter of Willie on The Simpsons

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