POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
TEQUILA-VEGAS
|
||||
|
|
||||
|
Stolen Votes Hagel Cheats BlackBoxvoting Bill of Rights
Dead
|
toon from whitehouse.org 
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK 74155 |
|
Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Daily Howler Demo U-Ground Eric Alterman Gene Lyons Joe Conason Greg Palast J M Marshall makethemaccountable MWO Mike Malloy Project 60 Smirking Chimp Takebackthemedia Vegas Report |
|
Please visit our sponsors
Quotes
"We don't hate America. We just think your
president is an asshole."
-- unidentified Frenchman, who still enjoys free speech
"Who said
that? I'll have him murdered."
Well, I got my wish. I woke up with
a splitting headache and ate
some pain pills so for today's issue I'm
wacky on the junk.
Did
Bush allow Saddam to escape, just like bin Laden?
...from the Tehran Times
Excerpt:
Suspicions rose on the same day when U.S.
troops, that had been stopped at the Euphrates,
immediately were able to advance toward
the heart of Baghdad without any significant resistance
by Iraqi forces. Nobody asked why Tikrit,
that was once called the ideological heart of Saddam's
government and the last possible trench
of the Iraqi army, was never targeted by U.S. and British
bombs and missiles. Or why when the elite
Iraqi forces arrived in eastern Iraq from Tikrit, the pace
of the invaders advancing toward central
Baghdad immediately increased. Also, it has been reported
that over the past 24 hours, a plane was
authorized to leave Iraq bound for Russia.
Who was aboard this plane?
Do you remember (it's in the back issues)
while we were attacking Afghanistan, we stopped fighting
for 72 hours to allow a whole lot of planes
(was it 30?) to leave while our soldiers watched?
Now, after years of calling Saddam "another
Hitler,"
did Bush give him a free pass to
escape just like he gave bin Laden?
Quotes
"Another difference between television in the
US and elsewhere has been coverage of Iraqi casualties.
Despite constant discussion of "precision
bombing," the US invasion has produced so many dead and
wounded that Iraqi hospitals stopped
trying to count. Red Cross officials have labeled the level of
casualties "incredible," describing
"dozens of totally dismembered dead bodies of women and children"
delivered by truck to hospitals. Cluster
bombs, one of the most indiscriminate weapons in the modern
arsenal, have been used by US and UK
forces, with the British defense minister explaining that mothers
of Iraqi children killed would one day
thank Britain for their use."
-- Robert Jensen, The
images they choose, and choose to ignore Click
Here
Last night, Jon Stewart was mocking
FOX News for fellating Bush every second of every day
and he showed some of the bigger blasts
that have rocked Baghdad, and I swear, some of those
blasts were stadium sized blasts, and they
were all in the center of town.
I understand about "precision" bombs, but
you can't precisely blow up a building at Fifth & Main and
expect the folks and Third and Main to
survive. The entire rest of the world is seeing what we are really
doing over there, but as always, the US
media is keeping the facts from us so Bush can be elected for
the first time in 2004 and the network
owners can get another unearned billion in tax deductions.
Whore nation, indeed.
Something
we should consider...
Bush is extra, extra stupid, but there are smart people on
his team
Maybe that whole fight with France is a set up.
Maybe Bush & Co were so intentionally fascist and obnoxious
that no other country
would even consider backing him in his private oil war - and
what happened as a result?
Only England (meaning employee Tony Blair) gets to look at the
oil books from now on.
The line they're using, "Our blood bought the right to steal
that oil," is what they're using
to be sure it's nobody's business where Iraq's oil goes
and for what price.
Who's going to oversee the Enron bookkeeping on the Iraqi oil-stealing
books?
The Democrats? The Supreme Court? The UN?
ha!
This is set up perfectly.
They can pump a million barrels a day out of Iraq, but claim they
only pumped 200,000 barrels,
then minus some bullshit "expenses" and Iraq will end up with
a dime on the dollar with the other
ninety cents of every dollar going into the non-taxable B.F.E.E.
coffers
You Republicans reading this - you can say Bush and his
confederates won't steal millions
of dollars worth of oil from Iraq every say until the end of
time, but what's to stop them?
Please visit our sponsors
Quotes
"The BBC network is even worse than CNN."
--the vulgar Pigboy, Rush Limbaugh
No, the truth is, the BBC is telling the truth, and CNN is trying
real hard to be FOX News Too,
They know how gullible those ditto-monkeys are, so they're trying
for that extra-easy DM dollar.
What's with indymedia.org?
I thought they were on our side.
http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=189084
Or is this like Salon.com, who has to bend over for the devil to stay afloat?
Dennis Miller the good guy, common sense, clear thinker on Bush
bloody oil war?
What, David Horowitz was busy, so they got his idealogical twin?
They open with:
Miller specializes in the indictment of
the anti-common sense that runs rampant in America. His material is not
all
conservative and not all liberal-and it's
not all to be taken seriously, either. (It's still comedy, after all.)
But in an
appearance with Jay Leno, Dennis Miller
took a cannon to the nonsense of certain intellectual elites. He decimated
the idea floated in some silly circles
that America is obligated to care more for our enemies' rights than our
own
survival. He dressed these people down
before millions of mainstream Americans, and then heaped on the public
scorn they have long deserved.
Are my eyes lying?
Is this sarcasm and I'm missing it?
Kicking Saddam's ass because bin Laden caught Smirk sleeping makes
no sense at all.
This war is horseshit.
If Bush was put on Earth by God to root out the evil dictators,
why is Castro safe?
We could take Cuba in six hours - he's 90 miles away - but Cuba
doesn't have any oil.
What's Smirk gonna do?
Invade Cuba, then sell cigars and make billions for the BFEE?
No, the entire world doesn't have to have cigars, but
we can't do without oil.
This war isn't about freeing Iraq because iof freeing people was
the reason,
we would've freed those Cubans first.
The good news is Susan is in Houston
Saturday, April 12
4PM
Signing and talk
Borders
Bookstore
3025
Kirby Drive
Houston,
TX 77027
Meet
Susan McDougal Saturday
Tell her Bart says "Hey!"
In addition to her Borders Bookstore appearance, Susan will
also be at Lanier Jr. High,
2600 Woodhead, this Sunday
Aptil 13th, from 2 - 3:30 pm for a book-signing and Q & A session.
Susan's brother, Jim Henley is a teacher at Lanier.
There is no charge and signed copies of her book are $25.00.
Proceeds to benefit Lanier's debate team.
She's in Dallas next Wednesday
Click
Here to get her book and
pay her back for her 22 months in prison.
Great book, and I can say that because
I actually read it and it's true!
Quotes
"They stand, they fight, sometimes they run
when we engage them. But often they run into our machine guns
and we shoot them down like the morons
they are. They appear willing to die. We are trying our best to
help them out in that endeavour. Any
rational military command would have surrendered by now."
-- Brigadier-General John Kelly
Remember this guy?
>Subject: Live Debate
> Getting cold feet?
> Anytime anywhere Penguincop.
> JS.
ha ha
Click Here but lower your expectations...
JS sent this afterwards: Rushcop your debating skills are lackluster.
Dude, if you considered our debate a victory, you can be my Alan Colmes on BartCop Radio.
Subject: Chinese spy? what Chinese spy?
I'm just so depressed at the relative size
of the GOP and Democratic echo chambers.
We had months -- years, even -- of harangues
about Al Gore and the Buddhist temple fund-raising.
Now there's this woman in California, Katrina
Leung, who has been a big Republican fund-raiser
for years and is in tight with all
the big shots in the California GOP.
...AND SHE'S A FUCKING CHINESE SPY. And
the latest story about her was on page A27
of my newspaper this morning. And I'm guessing
I won't be seeing many more.
At least if you could mention it, it might make a tiny echo. A lot of influential people read you.
John R
Spy
suspicions unexamined for years
Excerpt:
Senior law enforcement officials say Leung,
who became a prominent fundraiser for the Republican Party,
was never questioned seriously before Mueller's
order was issued. Nor was Smith. Meanwhile, authorities
now allege, a romantic relationship between
Leung and Smith flourished, and Smith allowed Leung access
to classified FBI information, including
reports on secret operations in China.
Balanced Budget Amendment
I remember during the Clinton administration
the Republicans wanted to pass a balanced
budget amendment. But now that they
are in power - you don't hear about that anymore.
Now they want to be able to run up huge
deficits by giving huge tax cuts to the rich.
While I opposed then and still do the idea
of amending the Constitution, I am still for
balancing the budget. It seem that borrow
and spend is back and fiscal responsibility
no longer even gets lip service.
Marc Perkel
Quotes
"An American flag logo adorns the upper left
corner of the screen. Dramatic stand-up-and-salute drumbeats
pound away under regularly scheduled
updates. Gung-ho, self-aggrandizing commentators behave like
cheerleaders sans the pompons. Dissenting
viewpoints get summarily crushed with the verbal equivalent
of bunker-busting bombs. The look, the
tone, the feel is unmistakable. You're tuned to the Fox News Channel,
where the slogan of "real journalism
-- fair and balanced" is blurted out over and over as if constant repetition
will convince the world that it's actually
true. Of course, those promos are nothing more than a slick televisual
shading of the truth, but how much does
it really matter when you're winning the hearts and minds of fervent
viewers?...Sometimes it becomes extremely
difficult to look around and see the big picture when one burrows
too deeply, or stays too long, in television's
cozy Fox hole."
--Chuck Barney
Details
Given on Contract Halliburton Was Awarded
It was in the NY Whore Times, but I still think it's true.
Excerpt:
The Pentagon contract given without competition
to a Halliburton subsidiary to fight oil well fires in Iraq
is worth as much as $7 billion over two
years, according to the Army Corps of Engineers.
The reconstruction effort could cost up
to $100 billion and become one of the most lucrative building programs
in decades.
THIS is why Smirk, Rummy and Whistle Dick Cheney traded cushy,
multi-million dollar careers to
get back into government "service." They are stealing
tons and tons of hundred dollar bills.
Cheney's had five heart attacks, and now he's working 80-hour
weeks for relatively no pay?
Isn't it amazing that a very, very, very rich man would endanger
his health for more riches?
Oh, ...that's righjt - he's a Republican.
THIS is why they spent $200 M to steal the White House.
They're getting it back ten thousand times..
saw it on tinfoilhelmet.com
Hey, Bart.
Although the terror alert level is still
"HIGH" (Click
Here) I notice Fox News no longer
has the "TERROR ALERT: HIGH" signal
on their screens or news tickers.
I guess that would run counter to their
message. Since the war against Saddam and the war
against terror are one and the same, surely
the defeat of Saddam means reduced terror.
They don't want us to think that the risk
of a terrorist attack could still be high,
despite the collapse of Saddam's government.
Or perhaps they decided to act preemptively
against the Department of Homeland Security,
since they will reduce the terror alert
level after seeing those wonderful images from Baghdad.
Best wishes,
Doctor J
VCR
Alert follow up
Lisa Marie on Dave
Damn, she was hell, wasn't she?
Dave acted like a goof most of the interview.
He seemed to want to be funny by asking stupid questions instead
of asking
real questions that might allow the audience to learn something
about her.
He also seemed to be clueless of the fact that she will say anything.
She makes Cher and Madonna seem shy and inhibited by comparison.
Also, during her performance, I was struck by the Elvis mannerisms.
I'm so old, I remember seeing the King a few dozen times on TV,
and she not
only has that lil' snarl thing with the lip, but between vocal
phrasings, she looks
away into the distance just like her daddy did. I don't think
she's trying to
imitate him, it seems to be in her DNA.
She's a helluva performer, but not yet a Shirley.
We'll be keeping an eye on Ms. Presley and her career.
Quotes
"Ratings in 8pm timeslot with Donahue -1.5.
Ratings in 8pm timeslot without Donahue
- 1.2."
--Atrios, the man who brought down Trent Lott
U.S. Nuke Find Claim in Iraq Critiqued
Excerpt:
American troops who suggested they uncovered
evidence of an active nuclear
weapons program in Iraq unwittingly may
have stumbled across known stocks
of low-grade uranium, officials said Thursday.
They said the U.S. troops may
have broken U.N. seals meant to keep control
of the radioactive material.
I think our boys have been given strict orders to find something
- anything
- that the illegal Bush administration can use to claim Saddam
had WMD.
Subject: FACTS as you say
Me again! Check out this fact ship you Commie fuck.
ha ha
Fact ship?
What a fact ship? And why would it be on
freeper.com?
Bet you want put those facts on your Pinko Propaganda website.
Dont be so cute with you misleading
of the real details.
Can't get convictions when people disappear,
die and commit suicide now can you.
Clinton Legacy: Most Convictions, Crookedest Cabinet, 31 Deaths
Dude, there are thousands of lies on that
one page.
It would take time (and maybe an entire
issue) to address them all,
so let me start with the first major paragraph:
The only
president ever impeached strictly on grounds of personal malfeasance
Not true.
He's the only president impeached for purely
partisan political horseshit.
Most convictions
and guilty pleas
That's not wiuthin a light year of being
true. They got Webb Hubble for stealing from
the Clintons and they got Espy for illegally
going to a Cowboys football game.
Where is this mountain of convictions?
Most Cabinet
officials to come under criminal investigation
That's probably true - the GOP launched
a new investigation every week of the Clinton years.
Funny, the only thing they could find was
a little tongue.
Most witnesses
to flee country or refuse to testify
Horseshit.
The GOP launched a phony investigation
into Chinese contributions,
then started whining when some of those
people went home.
Somewhere, I have a sound file of Novak
saying all that China stuff was hooey.
Most witnesses
to die suddenly
Oh please. That "Clinton Body Count"
stuff was so discredited that even Jerry Falwell
stopped selling the tapes because everybody
was too busy laughing at him.
And if Clinton kills his enemies, why is
Rush still alive?
Greatest
amount of illegal campaign contributions
If that's true, why didn't they impeach
him for it?
Because there was never any evidence, that's
why.
The closest thing they ever found to "evidence"
was Monica's mouth.
Greatest
amount of illegal campaign contributions from abroad
Again, the GOP disagrees with you.
They could've impeached him for this "crime," but there was no
evidence.
If they had real evidence of real crimes, why did
they impeach him for sex?
Also, I have a tip for you, Steven:
You're not going to find any facts on freeper.com
That's where the loonies go to grab each other's asses and say
"Clinton ruined America with
all that peace and prosperity, while
Bush saved America with his wars and recessions."
By the way, you free next Thursday at 9 PM CST?
Sidebar:
Somebody remind me to run down that
whoooooole long list when we start the radio thing.
Please visit our sponsors
Quotes
"There is a question in Europe about whether
I mean what I say.
Saddam Hussein now knows I mean what
I say."
--Dubya, at the Hillsborough
Castle news conference,
Excuse me, Governor, you promised to bring Saddam to justice.
You promised you'd bring bin Laden to justice, too.
You also promised a UN vote, the only straight answer of
your last press conference.
You also promised to uphold and defend the Constitution.
You also promised you'd be a president for all the people,
not just the rich, white men.
The only promise you've kept was when you swore to change America's
direction.
Your word means nothing, Governor.
"I'm
a straight-shooting talker."
Del Castillo Update - Austin Chronicle Cover!
All we can say is WOOOW and Thank You Lord!
Del Castillo is on this weeks cover of the
Austin Chronicle, which includes
a cover story entitled "Del Castillo and
the Latinization of River City".
Everyone go out and pickup yourself up a
couple of copies, bring them with you
to your next Del Castillo show, and we
will be more than happy to autograph them.
You can logon to www.austinchronicle.com
and have access to the story and pictures.
When you see Del Castillo, tell Rick that 'Bart says hey.'
If he says, "Who's Bart?"
mention Tulsa and the Hard Rock Island.
Subject: Bartcop Radio
I downloaded the clip yesterday--I must've
missed it the day before due to
being distracted by the picture of the
wounded protestor.
I look forward to listening to Bartcop Radio.
You have a great, lilting, down-to-earth
radio voice and sound nothing like those
arrogant asswipes on wingnut radio. They all
have that 'voice' that I can't stand, possibly
due to having really small dicks or something.
IMO, you did a more-than-fine job of it,
though I could've done without the story of the
little boy and the screw driver.
I expect Bartcop Radio to be a success!
Sincerely,
Melinda
Melinda, we all could've done without the screwdriver story, but
it I think it made the point
that some people need to be put to death while others just need
some prison time.
Double
Standards
I got this uncredited e-mail and "worked" with it a little.
I'll be happy to give the original author credit.
* What do you call it when someone gives money to a government official in return for favors?
Bribery
* What do you call it when a large corporation gives money to a government official in return for favors?
a campaign contribution
Subject: criticism of president
"To announce that there must be no criticism
of the president, or that we are to stand by the president,
right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic
and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
--Theodore Roosevelt said that back
in 1918.
Bart, I also must speak my mind about Bill
Maher; he does not see where we have lost any rights,
according to an exchange of thoughts with
one of his guests. Hasn't Bill heard of Patriot Act I
and II,
Jose Padilla, Mike Hawash, etc. The
aforementioned two people are being held, one for about a year now,
without any charges whatsoever, both are
American citizens, and Mr. Hawash has been a citizen for fifteen
years, raising a family, a job at Intel,
and his coworkers are fighting for him. I have no problems with law
enforcement doing their jobs, but in this
country we are supposed to have a right to defense. If you can be
held indefinitely without charge, then
you cannot build a defense. Bill Maher is wrong on his defense of
the
BFEE on both counts, the war and civil
liberties.
migs
For more, Click Here and Click Here
Look at this crap!
They're already giving him the jacket
and it's still early Friday afternoon?
Hex on thee, Tiger Woo
We have a 
Call 918-493-1500
- you have two minutes to say your piece.
We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for BartCop
Radio.
Call now! 918-493-1500
We need your jokes, your impressions and your rants.
Did anything piss you off today? Let's hear about it!
Some media whore needs slapping? Get to it!
Bush monkeys and ditto-wanks welcome, too.
Step by step, we're getting closer to BartCop Radio.
Quotes
"We now have all of Saddam's palaces and residences;
he has no place to live!
If he thinks Bush was hard on him before,
wait till he sees how Republicans treat the homeless!"
-- Leno
Don't forget to call the
918-493-1500
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley