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Volume 1041 - You break it, you buy it

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 Thursday-Friday  April 10-11, 2003


"We don't hate America. We just think your president is an asshole."
         -- unidentified Frenchman, who still enjoys free speech

"Who said that? I'll have him murdered."

 Well, I got my wish.  I woke up with a splitting headache and ate
 some pain pills so for today's issue I'm wacky on the junk.

 Did Bush allow Saddam to escape, just like bin Laden?
  ...from the Tehran Times

 Click  Here

 Suspicions rose on the same day when U.S. troops, that had been stopped at the Euphrates,
 immediately were able to advance toward the heart of Baghdad without any significant resistance
 by Iraqi forces. Nobody asked why Tikrit, that was once called the ideological heart of Saddam's
 government and the last possible trench of the Iraqi army, was never targeted by U.S. and British
 bombs and missiles. Or why when the elite Iraqi forces arrived in eastern Iraq from Tikrit, the pace
 of the invaders advancing toward central Baghdad immediately increased. Also, it has been reported
 that over the past 24 hours, a plane was authorized to leave Iraq bound for Russia.

 Who was aboard this plane?

 Do you remember (it's in the back issues) while we were attacking Afghanistan, we stopped fighting
 for 72 hours to allow a whole lot of planes (was it 30?) to leave while our soldiers watched?

 Now, after years of calling Saddam "another Hitler,"
 did Bush give him a  free pass to escape just like he gave bin Laden?


"Another difference between television in the US and elsewhere has been coverage of Iraqi casualties.
 Despite constant discussion of "precision bombing," the US invasion has produced so many dead and
 wounded that Iraqi hospitals stopped trying to count. Red Cross officials have labeled the level of
 casualties "incredible," describing "dozens of totally dismembered dead bodies of women and children"
 delivered by truck to hospitals. Cluster bombs, one of the most indiscriminate weapons in the modern
 arsenal, have been used by US and UK forces, with the British defense minister explaining that mothers
 of Iraqi children killed would one day thank Britain for their use."
   --  Robert Jensen, The images they choose, and choose to ignore   Click  Here

 Last  night, Jon Stewart was mocking FOX News for fellating Bush every second of every day
 and he showed some of the bigger blasts that have rocked Baghdad, and I swear, some of those
 blasts were stadium sized blasts, and they were all in the center of town.

 I understand about "precision" bombs, but you can't precisely blow up a building at Fifth & Main and
 expect the folks and Third and Main to survive.  The entire rest of the world is seeing what we are really
 doing over there, but as always, the US media is keeping the facts from us so Bush can be elected for
 the first time in 2004 and the network owners can get another unearned billion in tax deductions.

 Whore nation, indeed.

 Something we should consider...
  Bush is extra, extra stupid, but there are smart people on his team

 Maybe that whole fight with France is a set up.

 Maybe Bush & Co were so intentionally fascist and obnoxious that no other country
 would even consider backing him in his private oil war - and what happened as a result?

 Only England (meaning employee Tony Blair) gets to look at the oil books from now on.
 The line they're using, "Our blood bought the right to steal that oil," is what they're using
 to be sure it's nobody's business where Iraq's oil goes and for what price.

 Who's going to oversee the Enron bookkeeping on the Iraqi oil-stealing books?
 The Democrats?  The Supreme Court?  The UN?


 This is set up perfectly.

 They can pump a million barrels a day out of Iraq, but claim they only pumped 200,000 barrels,
 then minus some bullshit "expenses" and Iraq will end up with a dime on the dollar with the other
 ninety cents of every dollar going into the non-taxable B.F.E.E. coffers

 You Republicans reading this - you can say Bush and his confederates won't steal millions
 of dollars worth of oil from Iraq every say until the end of time, but what's to stop them?

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 "The BBC network is even worse than CNN."
   --the vulgar Pigboy, Rush Limbaugh

 No, the truth is, the BBC is telling the truth, and CNN is trying real hard to be FOX News Too,
 They know how gullible those ditto-monkeys are, so they're trying for that extra-easy DM dollar.

 What's with indymedia.org?
 I thought they were on our side.


 Or is this like Salon.com, who has to bend over for the devil to stay afloat?

 Dennis Miller the good guy, common sense, clear thinker on Bush bloody oil war?
 What, David Horowitz was busy, so they got his idealogical twin?

 They open with:

 Miller specializes in the indictment of the anti-common sense that runs rampant in America. His material is not all
 conservative and not all liberal-and it's not all to be taken seriously, either. (It's still comedy, after all.) But in an
 appearance with Jay Leno, Dennis Miller took a cannon to the nonsense of certain intellectual elites. He decimated
 the idea floated in some silly circles that America is obligated to care more for our enemies' rights than our own
 survival. He dressed these people down before millions of mainstream Americans, and then heaped on the public
 scorn they have long deserved.

 Are my eyes lying?
 Is this sarcasm and I'm missing it?

 Kicking Saddam's ass because bin Laden caught Smirk sleeping makes no sense at all.
 This war is horseshit.

 If Bush was put on Earth by God to root out the evil dictators, why is Castro safe?
 We could take Cuba in six hours - he's 90 miles away - but Cuba doesn't have any oil.

 What's Smirk gonna do?
 Invade Cuba, then sell cigars and make billions for the BFEE?
 No, the entire world doesn't have to have cigars, but we can't do without oil.

 This war isn't about freeing Iraq because iof freeing people was the reason,
 we would've freed those Cubans first.

 The good news is Susan is in Houston

 Saturday, April 12

 4PM Signing and talk
 Borders Bookstore
 3025 Kirby Drive
 Houston, TX 77027
 Meet Susan McDougal Saturday
  Tell her Bart says "Hey!"

 In addition to her Borders Bookstore appearance, Susan will also be at Lanier Jr. High,
 2600 Woodhead, this Sunday Aptil 13th, from 2 - 3:30 pm for a book-signing and Q & A session.

 Susan's brother, Jim Henley is a teacher at Lanier.
 There is no charge and signed copies of her book are $25.00.
 Proceeds to benefit Lanier's debate team.

 She's in Dallas next Wednesday

 Click  Here to get her book and
 pay her back for her 22 months in prison.
 Great book, and I can say that because
 I actually read it and it's true!


"They stand, they fight, sometimes they run when we engage them. But often they run into our machine guns
  and we shoot them down like the morons they are. They appear willing to die.  We are trying our best to
  help them out in that endeavour. Any rational military command would have surrendered by now."
     -- Brigadier-General John Kelly

 Remember this guy?

 >Subject: Live Debate

> Getting cold feet?

> Anytime anywhere Penguincop.
> JS.

 ha ha

  Click  Here   but lower your expectations...

 JS sent this afterwards:  Rushcop your debating skills are lackluster.

 Dude, if you considered our debate a victory, you can be my Alan Colmes on BartCop Radio.

 Subject: Chinese spy? what Chinese spy?

 I'm just so depressed at the relative size of the GOP and Democratic echo chambers.
 We had months -- years, even -- of harangues about Al Gore and the Buddhist temple fund-raising.

 Now there's this woman in California, Katrina Leung, who has been a big Republican fund-raiser
 for years and is in tight with all the big shots in the California GOP.

 ...AND SHE'S A FUCKING CHINESE SPY. And the latest story about her was on page A27
 of my newspaper this morning. And I'm guessing I won't be seeing many more.

 At least if you could mention it, it might make a tiny echo. A lot of influential people read you.

 John R

 Spy suspicions unexamined for years

  Click  Here

 Senior law enforcement officials say Leung, who became a prominent fundraiser for the Republican Party,
 was never questioned seriously before Mueller's order was issued. Nor was Smith. Meanwhile, authorities
 now allege, a romantic relationship between Leung and Smith flourished, and Smith allowed Leung access
 to classified FBI information, including reports on secret operations in China.

 Balanced Budget Amendment

 I remember during the Clinton administration the Republicans wanted to pass a balanced
 budget amendment.  But now that they are in power - you don't hear about that anymore.
 Now they want to be able to run up huge deficits by giving huge tax cuts to the rich.

 While I opposed then and still do the idea of amending the Constitution, I am still for
 balancing the budget. It seem that borrow and spend is back and fiscal responsibility
 no longer even gets lip service.

 Marc Perkel


"An American flag logo adorns the upper left corner of the screen. Dramatic stand-up-and-salute drumbeats
 pound away under regularly scheduled updates. Gung-ho, self-aggrandizing commentators behave like
 cheerleaders sans the pompons. Dissenting viewpoints get summarily crushed with the verbal equivalent
 of bunker-busting bombs. The look, the tone, the feel is unmistakable. You're tuned to the Fox News Channel,
 where the slogan of "real journalism -- fair and balanced" is blurted out over and over as if constant repetition
 will convince the world that it's actually true. Of course, those promos are nothing more than a slick televisual
 shading of the truth, but how much does it really matter when you're winning the hearts and minds of fervent
 viewers?...Sometimes it becomes extremely difficult to look around and see the big picture when one burrows
 too deeply, or stays too long, in television's cozy Fox hole."
      --Chuck Barney

 Details Given on Contract Halliburton Was Awarded
  It was in the NY Whore Times, but I still think it's true.

  Click  Here

 The Pentagon contract given without competition to a Halliburton subsidiary to fight oil well fires in Iraq
 is worth as much as $7 billion over two years, according to the Army Corps of Engineers.

 The reconstruction effort could cost up to $100 billion and become one of the most lucrative building programs in decades.

 THIS is why Smirk, Rummy and Whistle Dick Cheney traded cushy, multi-million dollar careers to
 get back into government "service."  They are stealing tons and tons of hundred dollar bills.

 Cheney's had five heart attacks, and now he's working 80-hour weeks for relatively no pay?
 Isn't it amazing that a very, very, very rich man would endanger his health for more riches?

 Oh, ...that's righjt - he's a Republican.

 THIS is why they spent $200 M to steal the White House.
 They're getting it back ten thousand times..

saw it on  tinfoilhelmet.com

 Subject: Terror Alert

 Hey, Bart.

 Although the terror alert level is still "HIGH"  (Click  Here) I notice Fox News no longer
 has the "TERROR ALERT: HIGH"  signal on their screens or news tickers.

 I guess that would run counter to their message.  Since the war against Saddam and the war
 against terror are one and the same, surely the defeat of Saddam means reduced terror.
 They don't want us to think that the risk of a terrorist attack could still be high,
 despite the collapse of Saddam's government.

 Or perhaps they decided to act preemptively against the Department of Homeland Security,
 since they will reduce the terror alert level after seeing those wonderful images from Baghdad.

 Best wishes,
 Doctor J

 VCR Alert follow up
  Lisa Marie on Dave

 Damn, she was hell, wasn't she?
 Dave acted like a goof most of the interview.
 He seemed to want to be funny by asking stupid questions instead of asking
 real questions that might allow the audience to learn something about her.

 He also seemed to be clueless of the fact that she will say anything.
 She makes Cher and Madonna  seem shy and inhibited by comparison.

 Also, during her performance, I was struck by the Elvis mannerisms.
 I'm so old, I remember seeing the King a few dozen times on TV, and she not
 only has that lil' snarl thing with the lip, but between vocal phrasings, she looks
 away into the distance just like her daddy did. I don't think she's trying to
 imitate him, it seems to be in her DNA.

 She's a helluva performer, but not yet a Shirley.

 We'll be keeping an eye on Ms. Presley and her career.


"Ratings in 8pm timeslot with Donahue -1.5.
  Ratings in 8pm timeslot without Donahue - 1.2."
     --Atrios, the man who brought down Trent Lott

 U.S. Nuke Find Claim in Iraq Critiqued

  Click  Here

 American troops who suggested they uncovered evidence of an active nuclear
 weapons program in Iraq unwittingly may have stumbled across known stocks
 of low-grade uranium, officials said Thursday. They said the U.S. troops may
 have broken U.N. seals meant to keep control of the radioactive material.

 I think our boys have been given strict orders to find something - anything
 - that the illegal Bush administration can use to claim Saddam had WMD.

 Subject: FACTS as you say

 Me again! Check out this fact ship you Commie fuck.

 ha ha
 Fact ship?
 What a fact ship? And why would it be on freeper.com?

 Bet you want put those facts on your Pinko Propaganda website.

 Dont be so cute with you misleading of the real details.
 Can't get convictions when people disappear, die and commit suicide now can you.

 Steven Carlyle

 Clinton Legacy: Most Convictions, Crookedest Cabinet, 31 Deaths

 Click  Here

 Dude, there are thousands of lies on that one page.
 It would take time (and maybe an entire issue) to address them all,
 so let me start with the first major paragraph:

The only president ever impeached strictly on grounds of personal malfeasance

 Not true.
 He's the only president impeached for purely partisan political horseshit.

Most convictions and guilty pleas

 That's not wiuthin a light year of being true.  They got Webb Hubble for stealing from
 the Clintons and they got Espy for illegally going to a Cowboys football game.
 Where is this mountain of convictions?

Most Cabinet officials to come under criminal investigation

 That's probably true - the GOP launched a new investigation every week of the Clinton years.
 Funny, the only thing they could find was a little tongue.

Most witnesses to flee country or refuse to testify

 The GOP launched a phony investigation into Chinese contributions,
 then started whining when some of those people went home.
 Somewhere, I have a sound file of Novak saying all that China stuff was hooey.

Most witnesses to die suddenly

 Oh please. That "Clinton Body Count" stuff was so discredited that even Jerry Falwell
 stopped selling the tapes because everybody was too busy laughing at him.
 And if Clinton kills his enemies, why is Rush still alive?

Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions

 If that's true, why didn't they impeach him for it?
 Because there was never any evidence, that's why.
 The closest thing they ever found to "evidence" was Monica's mouth.

Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions from abroad

 Again, the GOP disagrees with you.
 They could've impeached him for this "crime," but there was no evidence.
 If they had real evidence of real crimes, why did they impeach him for sex?

 Also, I have a tip for you, Steven:
 You're not going to find any facts on freeper.com
 That's where the loonies go to grab each other's asses and say "Clinton ruined America with
 all that peace and prosperity, while Bush saved America with his wars and recessions."

 By the way, you free next Thursday at 9 PM CST?

 Somebody remind me to run down that whoooooole long list when we start the radio thing.

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"There is a question in Europe about whether I mean what I say.
  Saddam Hussein now knows I mean what I say."
    --Dubya, at the Hillsborough Castle news conference,

 Excuse me, Governor, you promised to bring Saddam to justice.
 You promised you'd bring bin Laden to justice, too.

 You also promised a UN vote, the only straight answer of your last press conference.
 You also promised to uphold and defend the Constitution.
 You also promised you'd be a president for all the people, not just the rich, white men.
 The only promise you've kept was when you swore to change America's direction.

 Your word means nothing, Governor.

 "I'm a straight-shooting talker."

 Del Castillo Update - Austin Chronicle Cover!

 All we can say is WOOOW and Thank You Lord!

 Del Castillo is on this weeks cover of the Austin Chronicle, which includes
 a cover story entitled "Del Castillo and the Latinization of River City".

 Everyone go out and pickup yourself up a couple of copies, bring them with you
 to your next Del Castillo show, and we will be more than happy to autograph them.
 You can logon to www.austinchronicle.com and have access to the story and pictures.

 When you see Del Castillo, tell Rick that 'Bart says hey.'
 If he says, "Who's Bart?" mention Tulsa and the Hard Rock Island.

 Subject: Bartcop Radio

 I downloaded the clip yesterday--I must've missed it the day before due to
 being distracted by the picture of the wounded protestor.

 I look forward to listening to Bartcop Radio.  You have a great, lilting, down-to-earth
 radio voice and sound nothing like those arrogant asswipes on wingnut radio.  They all
 have that 'voice' that I can't stand, possibly due to having really small dicks or something.

 IMO, you did a more-than-fine job of it, though I could've done without the story of the
 little boy and the screw driver.   I expect Bartcop Radio to be a success!


 Melinda, we all could've done without the screwdriver story, but it I think it made the point
 that some people need to be put to death while others just need some prison time.

 Double Standards
 I got this uncredited e-mail and "worked" with it a little.
 I'll be happy to give the original author credit.

* What do you call it when someone gives money to a government official in return for favors?


* What do you call it when a large corporation gives money to a government official in return for favors?

   a campaign contribution

Subject: criticism of president

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president,
 right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
   --Theodore Roosevelt said that back in 1918.

 Bart, I also must speak my mind about Bill Maher; he does not see where we have lost any rights,
 according to an exchange of thoughts with one of his guests.    Hasn't Bill heard of Patriot Act I and II,
 Jose Padilla, Mike Hawash, etc.  The aforementioned two people are being held, one for about a year now,
 without any charges whatsoever, both are American citizens, and Mr. Hawash has been a citizen for fifteen
 years, raising a family, a job at Intel, and his coworkers are fighting for him.  I have no problems with law
 enforcement doing their jobs, but in this country we are supposed to have a right to defense.  If you can be
 held indefinitely without charge, then you cannot build a defense.  Bill Maher is wrong on his defense of the
 BFEE on both counts, the war and civil liberties.


 For more,  Click  Here  and  Click  Here

Look at this crap!
They're already giving him the jacket
and it's still early Friday afternoon?

Hex on thee, Tiger Woo

 We have a 

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to say your piece.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for BartCop Radio.

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 We need your jokes, your impressions and your rants.
 Did anything piss you off today?  Let's hear about it!
 Some media whore needs slapping?  Get to it!

 Bush monkeys and ditto-wanks welcome, too.
 Step by step, we're getting closer to BartCop Radio.


"We now have all of Saddam's palaces and residences; he has no place to live!
  If he thinks Bush was hard on him before, wait till he sees how Republicans treat the homeless!"
   -- Leno

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