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Volume 1042 - It was all staged

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 Weekend, April 12-13, 2003

 This Just In...
 Seven POWs found in good shape, back in US custody.
 Two Apache pilots and five from Jessica Lynch's outfit.


"I hope you protesters and your children are killed in the next terrorist attack. Signed Fuck You."
    -- written on a flyer found in front of the Afro-American Cultural Center at Yale

"Republicans are good Christians."

 The photographs tell the story... 
 Was the Iraq 'freedom celebration' more manipulation on a grander scale?

  Click  Here

 April 6th: Iraqi National Congress founder, Ahmed Chalabi is flown into the southern Iraqi city of Nasiriyah
 by the Pentagon. Chalabi, along with 700 fighters of his "Free Iraqi Forces" are airlifted aboard four massive
 C17 military transport planes. Chalabi and the INC are Washington favorites to head the new Iraqi government.
 A photograph is taken of Chalabi and members of his Free Iraqi Forces militia as they arrive in Nasiriyah.

 April 9th: One of the "most memorable images of the war" is created when U.S. troops pull down the statue
 of Saddam in Fardus Square. Oddly enough... a photograph is taken of a man who bears an uncanny resemblance
 to one of Chalabi's militia members... he is near Fardus Square to greet the Marines. How many members of the
 pro-American Free Iraqi Forces were in and around Fardus Square as the statue of Saddam came tumbling down?

 Remember Florida in 2000, the GOP flew in "outraged locals" who were all on the payroll?

 Somewhere in the back pages, in late Nov/early Dec 2000, everyone you see here with a number
 was identified as a current or former Republican congressional staffer. They were each flown to Florida
 to pretend they were angry Floridians who wanted the "rightfully-elected" Bush to be president.

 Of course, Al Gore didn't want to cause any trouble so he bowed out.

 It appears the B.F.E.E. paid for more of the same. This is some of Karl Rove's best work.
 Hire a few hundred Iraqis to bring a script to life and be sure the cameras catch it all.

 I said at the time, "In a city of 5M, why are only 1,000 people in the street?" and the reason is Karl Rove would
 be crazy to pay for 2,000 protesters when the willing-to-help, lap-dog media will report 1,000 people as, "Baghdad
 streets are swarming with grateful Bush supporters," along with stories of locals naming their kid "George."

 The B.F.E.E, using the trillions they stole from the Social Security fund, are paying the networks to play ball.

 War good. Iraq bad.
 War is America, America is good.
 Peaceniks are Chamberlains, out to destroy us.
 Democrats love Saddam more than America.
 Vote GOP or learn to speak Iraqi.

 ...because greed is insatiable, this will never end.
 With the media down to seven owners, ...rich, white Republicans all,
 we're only going to hear the rich, white man's whining on the public airwaves.

 They already depleted the Treasury - but they want more.
 I did some reading (no, seriously...) and found out that Iraq was pumping 2.5M barrels before the war.

 At $25 a barrel, the BFEE can gross $62.5 million dollars a day.
 This is why they stole the White House.
 This is why a hundred Americans (so far) have died in Iraq.

  It could raise production to 3.5 million barrels within three years with an investment of only $5B and
 we know they keep that much chump change in each and every pocket, so after Bush steals a second term,
 the BFEE will be grossing $87.5 million dollars a day - that's per day!

 ...and if we don't like what the B.F.E.E. is doing to Amerikkka,
 Rush and FOX News will invite us to  move to f-ing North Korea...

 Snoop unhurt after assassination attempt

  Click  Here

 Police said the shooting happened Thursday night in the Mid-City area as up to five cars, including
 one carrying Snoop Dogg, were traveling through the area. Another car pulled alongside the convoy
 and three men with guns began shooting, said police. Bullets hit two of the vehicles.

 Ain't this a bitch?
 What's a brother got to do to get some protection?

 Let's break this down.
 You got the first car with two armed, off-duty cops.
 You got the second car with two armed, off-duty cops.
 You got Snoop alone in his Cadillac.
 You got the fourth car with two armed, off-duty cops.
 You got the fifth car with two armed, off-duty cops.

 ...and the shooters get away?

 What's the point of paying eight off duty cops to protect you if you still get shot at,
 and then the bungling LA cops can't figure out how to arrest the suspects?

 The LA cops have about 40 black eyes - how do they see?
 Does Suge Knight owe Snoop any money?
 Snoop, if I was you, I'd send Mr Knight a document saying you're even,
 and what the hell - since it's your ass - spend the $3.65 to send it certified.

 Tiger Woo   barely survives a frustrating Friday at Augusta
  Hex on thee, Mr. Perfect!

  Click  Here

 A phat opening round of 76 — his worst ever in the first round of a major championship - was
 salvaged somewhat by a flurry of birdies in the second round he is still eight holes from finishing.

 Woods ended the day at 2-over par, tied for 23rd and eight shots off the lead of Mike Weir

 Tiger Woo   broke down sobbing on the 11th green at the 2003 Masters.
 Woo   missed another putt and ended the day waaaaaay back in 23rd place.

  ha ha

 Playing 20 Questions With Katherine Harris
  by Eric Matthew

  Click  Here

 Note: If you love Florida's Katherine Harris, you might not like this.

 Bill Maher Friday night...

 One thing everyone forgets to mention, is that people like Rush, Laura, Hannity and O'Reilly
 aren't here to save America any more than Bush and his outlaw gang of thugs are.

 Rush cares about politics as much as I care about women's basketball, but if you paid me $22M
 a month (and I had no morals) I'd say, "The Carolina Sweethearts are traitors to America,"
 and I would learn the names of all the Carolina Sweethearts team members

 Nobody is getting rich telling the truth, although Moore, McDougal and Palast seem to be making a living,
 but the bad guys are raking in mega-millions by screaming lies about Clinton and anybody anti-Bush.

 I wonder why you don't hear that many other places than here...

I can't tell who sent this - but thanks.

 The stage-managed events in Baghdad

  Click  Here

 The significance of this should be clear: those who “spontaneously” gathered in Firdos Square included
 Iraqi political agents of the American military, dispatched from Nasiriya to Baghdad to serve as an
 appropriate backdrop for the visuals desired by Bush administration spin doctors. If not “Wag the Dog,”
 it is at least a case of “rent a crowd.” Or, as Robert Fisk of the British newspaper the Independent
 described it, “the most staged photo-opportunity since Iwo Jima.”

 To a critical observer, the live coverage from Firdos Square had already suggested that there was less
 than met the eye to the scenes of universal rejoicing. Even this small and controlled crowd fell silent
 and muttered its disapproval when a US Marine initially draped the statue’s head with an American flag.
 An Iraqi onlooker supplied one of his own country’s flags, and there were cheers when this replaced
 the Stars and Stripes.

 Trust me - the Iraqis looking into the cameras screaming "Thank you, President Bush" got a big, fat bonus.

  Political Correctness, GOP Style
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

"I watched what they did to Max Cleland last year," Kerry added. "Shame on them for doing it then
 and shame on them for trying to do it now."

"Finally," wrote Joan Walsh in Salon, "a Democrat with the guts to fight back!"  Amen to that.
 Bush and company have gotten away with the phony tough-guy act for far too long. Frightened and
 confused since 9/11, Americans don't necessarily want to go to war with every tinpot dictator in
 the Islamic world. But neither do they trust a leader who won't stand up for himself to stand up for them.

 Note: This is from Wednesday, I haven't had a chance to publish it until now - sorry.

"Prophets Without Honor"

"Toe To Toe With The Empire"
 American Priests Spend Years in Prison

"Prophets Without Honor", non-fiction, by William Strabala, former reporter
 for The Denver Post and the Rocky Mountain News; co-author, Mike Palecek.

"A book to inspire us all, because it looks beyond the false gods of  our time,
 the ruthless political leaders, the timid intellectuals, the stars of People magazine
- and tells the story of the bravest people in America."
                                 - Howard Zinn

  Click  Here  for more information

 Our Man in Iraq: Hero or Crook?
      by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 Among the doubters is the impeccably conservative journalist Arnaud de Borchgrave,
 author of a thoroughly unflattering Chalabi profile for the Washington Times last December.
 Quoted in that article is the "widely respected" former governor of the Jordanian central bank,
 who said that after a full examination of Petra’s books, he concluded that "they had been cooked
 and that Ahmed Chalabi was the master cook …. Chalabi was one of the most notorious crooks
 in the history of the Middle East."

 Considering the crimes the B.F.E.E. have planned, they must have somebody to play ball.
 If Bush appoints Chalabi the King of Iraq (with the American military standing behind him)
 Bush will own this puppet and that's just what they need to steal that oil.

 Iraq National Museum Treasures Plundered

  Click  Here

 The famed Iraq National Museum, home of extraordinary Babylonian, Sumerian and Assyrian collections
 and rare Islamic texts, sat empty Saturday. While Coalition forces were busy guarding Smirk's new toys,
 rioters looted gold bowls and drinking cups, ritual masks worn in funerals, elaborately wrought headdresses,
 lyres studded with jewels — priceless craftsmanship from ancient Mesopotamia.

"These are the foundational cornerstones of Western civilization," Russell said, and are literally priceless -
 which he said will not prevent them from finding a price on the black market.

 I realize they couldn't guard every building in Baghdad, but ten more troops could've protected the
 priceless foundational cornerstones of Western civilization.     Oh well, what Bush wants - Bush gets.

 Subject: Susan McDougal says hi 

  Click  Here

 Susan said that Bill Clinton called her about two weeks ago - the first time they have spoken in years
(since before he pardoned her) - and said he said he had just finished reading her book and just said,
 "I'm so sorry, Susan ... (long pause) ... I just had no idea."   She teared up again, as did the crowd.

 Rounding Up All The Baddies

  Click  Here

 Ari Fleischer is expected to appear on all the Sunday talk shows today, and mime,
“When our intelligence sources find out the name of the Syrian guy responsible,
 the President will be making a statement of vital national interest at the appropriate time.”

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As seen on tinfoilhelmet.com


"Scholar and baseball fan Gerald Early once observed that “there are only three things that
  America will be known for 2,000 years from now: the Constitution, jazz music and baseball.”

 The last of those things demonstrated its contempt for the first this week, when the Baseball
 Hall of Fame (run by former Reagan administration press secretary Dale Petroskey) decided
 it didn’t agree with recent remarks by actors Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon and so canceled
 an event to celebrate the movie Bull Durham, in which the pair appeared. In a letter to Robbins,
 Petroskey argued that by criticizing the president, Robbins “ultimately could put our troops
 in even more danger,” a notion that belongs in the Speciousness Hall of Fame."
       --Holmes Report,

"Free speech should be a crime."

 Some logic about the so-called celebrations in Bagdad
     by Jeff Grubs

  Click  Here

 Just last night MSNBC spoke out about the now growing number of conspiracy theories raging around this conflict.
 They took note of the most current theory being printed in Middle Eastern newspapers that the Republican Guard
 leadership had negotiated a post-Saddam role for themselves in the security of Iraq in return for a cease fire.
 Those same newspapers reported that a secret condition for this post-Sadam role was to have the forces protecting
 Bagdad put up a token resistence of the city as a show for the media to play back home as proof of the justified
 'cakewalk' assumptions made by the White House chickenhawks.

 Bush's Good Puppy Press gets their orders
  Good employees know to obey the rules
  Click  Here

 (March 2) ...further references to the religious views of the President are to be deleted...
 (March 15) photo opportunities of the President and members of his cabinet,
                    especially Secretary Rumsfeld, with enthusiastic GIs·.
 (March 19) No mention, repeat, no mention, of Palestinian suicide bombers during the Iraqi operation...
 (March 25) ...no mention of either Wolfowitz or Pearle should be made at the present time.


These guys rock, but they have an odd schedule.
Anybody know what's up with that?
Do they only publish when they have something good?
They've got 8 new toons since the staging of the
statue pulldown, and that only happened five days ago.

 Subject: Susan McDougal sez 'Hi'

         I went to a booksigning today at Border's Bookstore in Houston to hear Susan McDougal speak
 and get her to sign my copy of her book. She very eloquently explained how she became embroiled
 in the Whitewater Investigation. At times she was tearful and moved the audience to tears also,
 recounting her fear of facing prison. She said that once she faced her fear and found out that she
 could handle pretty much what they threw at her, well that is when the tears started.

 Then she told of how Jim McDougal gave in and told the Special Prosecuter what it wanted to hear,
 fearing dying in prison. He was old and in very bad health and was terrified of dying in prison,
 so he played ball. Once the focus was taken off Arkansas and put on Monica Lewinsky,
 the Special Prosecuter no longer gave a rat's ass about Jim McDougal and he died in prison anyway,
 pleading for his medicine. It reminded me so much of what James Carville keeps preaching,
 'If you don't stand up and fight, these nazies will steamroll right over you. If you cave in, no good will come of it.'

      Anyway when Susan was signing my book, I asked her if she knew bartcop and she said,"Why, sure I do!"
 She told me to say hi to you and to say that she wants to write something for the webpage, but she is busy
 with the book tour. She says it will be forthcoming.
 David Lindsay

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"Today in Iraq, tens of millions are free. This is a regime that needed change.
  The war is not over yet, but our army of virtue is beating back the tide of terror."
            --Tom DeLay, squirrelly bastard

 "I'm nuts about war and tax cuts!"

 Double Standards
 I got this uncredited e-mail and "worked" with it a little.
 I'll be happy to give the original author credit.

* What do you call it when a group of people take the law into their own hands and kill people without a fair trial?

  A lynching.

* What do you call it when the US takes the law into its own hands and kills people without a fair trial?

 Operation Enduring Freedom.

 Subject: don't give up- the people support you

 The Aboriginal people are fighting for their rights and told me they'll
 support you if , with this photo,  you publish part of their charter.

 Wallace in Australia

The Aboriginal Tent Embassy is fighting for
Cultural and physical Land Rights
Self- Determination


"I have absolutely no regret about my vote [against] this war. The cost in human lives.
 The cost to our budget, probably $100 billion. We could have probably brought down
 that statue for a lot less. The cost to our economy. But the most important question
 at this time, now that we're toward the end of it, is what is the cost to the war on terrorism?"
       --Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi

 We have a 

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to say your piece.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for BartCop Radio.

 Update: A working computer has been promised for today, Sunday.
                      We have a lot of calls to listen to...

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 We need your jokes, your impressions and your rants.
 Did anything piss you off today?
 Let's hear about it!
 Some media whore needs slapping?  Get to it!

 We're very slowly getting closer to BartCop Radio.

 Welfare for Dummies

  Click  Here

Marty's E! page
Buzz Aldrin in Long Beach
Cheeta, from the old 'Tarzan' movies, is 71 (the world's oldest chimp)
& living in Palm Springs (where else?)
I would think George Will is older than that...
Tony Blair will be on 'The Simpsons'
Sharon Osbourne, an agent & some unpleasantness
Melanie Griffith on Broadway
2 Hooties
And a self-proclaimed 'selfish bastard' with a broken ankle


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 New York union gangsters celebrate slaughter in Iraq

  Click  Here

 The rally was organized on the basis of lies. The first was contained in the leaflet issued by the trades council
 calling on its members to “show your support for our men and women serving in the armed forces.” The rally
 was not one of solidarity with the predominantly working class and poor youth who join the military to get a
 job or education. No one asked them if they wanted to invade Iraq. It was organized in support of the c
 riminal policy undertaken by the Bush administration.

 No speaker bothered to mention the Bush administration’s cuts in veterans’ benefits or the plight of more
 than 200,000 veterans of the first Gulf War who are suffering disabilities as a result of their exposure to
 toxic chemicals and depleted uranium in that intervention. It would have been more honest to call the
 demonstration a “sacrifice our troops” rally.

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"The Bush Administration knows it can't talk openly about selling off Iraq's oil resources to
 ExxonMobil and Shell. It leaves that to Fadhil Chalabi, a former Iraq petroleum ministry official.
"We need to have a huge amount of money coming into the country.," Chalabi says.says.

"The only way is to partially privatize the industry." He is part of a group of Iraqi exiles who
 have been advising the State Department on how to implement that privatization in such a way
 that it isn't seen to be coming from the United States. Helpfully, the group held a conference
 on April 4-5 in London, where it called on Iraq to open itself up to oil multinationals after the war.

 The Administration has shown its gratitude by promising there will be plenty of posts for Iraqi
 exiles in the interim government. Some argue that it's too simplistic to say this war is about oil.
 They're right. It's about oil, water, roads, trains, phones, ports and drugs. And if this process
 isn't halted, "free Iraq" will be the most sold country on earth."
    --Naomi Klein, in The Nation

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