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Volume 1045 - Controlling the chaos

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 Wednesday April 16, 2003


"It's a very tough time for us in Washington. I've been around, let's see, 35 or so years.
  I make the joke that I haven't been so afraid since I watched "The Wizard of Oz" with
  my six-year old daughter. These guys scare me. They're insulated. They're tough to get to....
  I've never seen my peers as frightened as they are....There is no real standard anymore of
  integrity and truth because the White House doesn't have any, and so we're all left on our
  own to sort of stagger around and try to figure out what's going on. He is the president,
  and he does have the power to send our children to commit murder in the name of democracy,
  and we respect that, we do, but a real crisis is coming, and I can tell you I wish there was better
  reporting out of Washington. I know how hard it is. I know how tough it is."
   -- Sy Hersh, a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist upon receiving the Goldsmith Career Award for
       Excellence in Jornalism at Harvard University on March 11th:

 The press is scared, the Democrats have soiled themselves with fear like Bernard Shaw hiding
 under a table in Baghdad in 1991.  We're on our own - and all we have is the Internet.

 O, Brother! Where Art Thou?

  Click  Here

 In 1990, Neil Bush paid a $50,000 fine and was banned from banking activities for his role in
 taking down Silverado, which actually cost taxpayers $1.3 billion. A Resolution Trust Corp Suit
 against Bush and other officers of Silverado was settled in 1991 for $26.5 million. And the fine
 wasn't exactly paid by Neil Bush.  A Republican fundraiser set up a fund to help defer costs Neil
 incurred in his S&L dealings. Friends and relatives contributed -- but not Mom and Dad, which
 would have been unseemly. Since then, the Bush political combine has done such a remarkable
 job keeping Neil in the background that ...seemed like a 10-year news blackout.

 Wait, let me get this straight:
 Neil Bush illegally gave $1.3 in taxpayer money to his partners in a loan that was lost forever and he
 quietly paid less than 1/5 of one penny on the dollar to make it go away, and Bill Clinton lost money
 in a sleepy little Arkansas savings and loan and we did a $70 million investigation-turned witch hunt?

 ...and this is the same RTC that had an eight-year problem with Clinton's business dealings?

 ...and they say liberals control the media.

"My family has a right to earn!"


"We should build a large statue of George W. Bush in Baghdad
   so the Iraqis have something to topple next year."
     --Barry Crimmins, CrimQuips

  ha ha

 My good friend Barry Crimmins is something else.
 Good stuff, Dude!

 Powell regrets U.S. role in 1973 Chile coup
 But it's OK to do it thirty years later?

  Click  Here

 When a student asked Colin Powell about the 1973 military coup in Chile, the retired general
 turned diplomat made no secret of his deep misgivings about the U.S. role in that upheaval.

"It is not a part of American history that we're proud of," Powell said, quickly adding that reforms
 instituted since then make it unlikely that the policies of that Cold War era will be repeated.

 In a highly unusual move, the State Department issued a statement that put distance between the
 department and its top official. The statement asserted that the U.S. government "did not instigate
 the coup that ended Allende's government in 1973."

 So, the State Department says the Sec of State doesn't know what he's talking about?


"Having served unofficially as a propaganda arm of the White House and Pentagon before and
 during the war on Iraq, the major US media networks, with the exception of CNN, have agreed
 to make their function official. In the name of providing Iraq’s people with a taste of a “free press,”
 ABC, CBS, Fox and the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) have decided to provide content for
 a Pentagon-controlled television service in Iraq."
    --Henry Michaels, US networks agree to serve Pentagon

 US Proposed Iraqi Ruler a Convicted Felon
  Another convicted fellon appointed by the Corrupt Commander?

  Click  Here

 Ahmad Chalabi is the darling of the neoconservatives. He is the anointed leader of the Iraqi National
 Congress (INC), the CIA construction designed to cabal together Iraqi expatriates and considered to
 be a leading candidate to (rule) Iraq. Chalabi is MIT educated and has not resided in Iraq since 1958.
 And he is a former Jordanian banker convicted of embezzlement and misappropriation of funds.

 That makes him a perfect fit for the crime cabal that stole the White House.
 This is more proof that you can't be too paranoid about the B.F.E.E..

 Bush will appoint a corrupt king to rule Iraq so he'll be sure to play ball. They say Cahlibi hasn't been in
 Iraq since 1958, yet because he's Rummy's friend, they're cutting him in for a (very small) piece of the pie
 because they need a puppet to certify a quick-count on how many barrels are being taken from Iraq.

 I guess Kathering Harris is busy misrepresenting Florida....

Hey kid, sorry about your parents and your sister.
 Here's a fun balloon I drew on - ...call it even?

 The Presidential Memory Stick

  Clic  Here

 In a five-to-10 minute briefing - President Bush always starts with a snappy and inspirational New Testament reading.
 Selected personally by Laura Bush after she and hubbie held hands, knelt beside their conjugal bed and prayed together
 for peace on earth - the night before. Followed by a one-minute wrap-up of key MLB and NBA scores and highlights.

 Then, in an effort to make sure the whole team are all on the same page and to motivate them into staying there the
 president reassures them their cause is just.  Then comes the really important bit.  He informs them all which country,
 Rumsfeld or Wolfowitz are allowed to threaten with decapitation in the next 24 hours.

 Poll Shows Bush Ahead in California '04 Vote
  Democrats don't want to win next year, either?

  Click  Here

 President Bush (R-Bloody Hands) would win California if the next vote were held today,
 according to a poll released on Wednesday. The poll of  695 registered voters found that
 45 percent would support Bush, with 40 percent backing the Democratic party nominee.

"We fix it if it's not broke?
 Bush has been a great president!
 I'm sure because Rush said so..."


“I think it’s entirely appropriate, from the president’s point of view, for DOD (Dept of Defense)
  to be involved in this. It remains a dangerous country where DOD assets are needed to field these
  missions. DOD is very good ... at providing information for people who have a thirst for information.”
     -- Chemical Ari, speaking for Der Fuehler

- Shut the hell up!   We'll tell you what to print.

 Beginning Monday, April 21 The Mike Malloy Show is Moving to 9PM to Midnight ET!

 Stupid is as Stupid Does

  Click  Here

 Look at our President for criminy cripes. If President George Bush the 43rd  isn't a
 poster boy for the Stupidization of America then who is? George Bush is no President.
 He is a pompous little aristocratic ass with a twisted little smirk and a proclivity for pouting.
 His understanding of American Policy is on a third grade level. His reasoning and articulation
 is reduced to platitudes, parables and philosophical pabulum.

Marty's E! page
Harper's Weekly Reivew
Klingons & Republicans
Michael Moore in Austin
TV news ratings have 'war fatigue'
Bob Hope named 'Citizen of the Century'
Lauren Bush - 'most eligible woman in the world'
Dietrich's daughter donates Hemingway correspondence to JFK Library
TNN is becoming 'Spike TV'
Angie Harmon is preggers
Arnold hosts a TV special on villians
Rodney King - again
former-gay-porn-star has work at the White House


 Republican Patriot Police Protect Bush from Critics
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 First, the Patriot Police came for the Dixie Chicks, and I said nothing because I'm fed up
 with the predigested mush that passes for country music these days. I wouldn't include the
 Chicks in that category, but flag-waving deejays and war-loving singers in cowboy hats
 strike me as an enormous bore.

 At a Texas rodeo recently, somebody remained seated when the loudspeaker played
 Lee Greenwood's cornball ballad "Proud to Be an American." The man said he didn't
 have to stand for no damn country song, and fisticuffs ensued.


"We got into Iraq, and we were supposed to take on this Nazi that was threatening Western
  civilization, and we proved to those of us who didn't want to go in that really he was not
  threatening Western civilization. He was a tyrant and there are many tyrants in the Middle
  East, and the fact that now there are people comparing what happened then, the toppling of
  the statue with the toppling of the Berlin Wall is like comparing the kids of American Idol
  to the next coming, second coming of the Beatles. It’s just ridiculous.”
       --Arianna Huffington,

 But Arianna, that's the message Mr Rove wanted out, so the networks and newspapers complied.
 Are you under the impression we have a Free Press in the United States?


 Subject:  The Fervor!!

 You know, I went to your site today specifically to see how you would construe
 the Baghdad images in your anti-Bush favor.  I wasn't disappointed.

 Hold on, don't tell your lies faster than I can refute them.
 First, you start every day by reading  bartcop.com  so don't give me this "I just dropped by..." crap.
 Second, I don't think I've printed one picture of a Iraqi kid with his arms blown off. I haven't printed any
 of those horrible and bloody pictures that run on every nightly newscast in the world - accept here,
 "fervor" allegation is just a pile of horseshit.  You're getting the middle-of-the-road truth here, my friend.

 I can't answer your questions completely since I'm not there, but I do remember a lot of talk on the news
 from a week or two before the initial strike about Baghdad being evacuated by the droves.  During the first
 week, rough, speculative estimates set the Baghdad population at around 500,000.  That might be relevant.
 Plus, it could've just been too far to walk for most people, who knows?


 That's possibly a valid point, but even if you're right, aren't you suspicious that after 30 years of slavery,
 rapes and torture dungeons that less than one in every 500 people wanted to celebrate with their liberators?
 That's an approval rating of less than two perent, yet the networks called it a landslide - again.
 The B.F.E.E planned ahead and bussed/flew in those yokels, just like they did in the Rape of Florida.

 And, like they always do, the whore networks "brought us there live," so we could see with our own eyes
 the grateful Iraqis was screaming "We love you, Meestar Bosh," so it could make the evening news.

 Why should some two-bit internet comedy site have to point out this was a sham?
 Why did the networks play along, and not ask any questions?

 I'm so old, I remember when reporting a story meant more than writing down what Mr Rove orders.

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 Attention NYC area Democrats

 Subject: MCM performs on 4/19 and 4/26

 Operation American Freedom
 An Evening of Unplugged Political Reflection

 by my good friend Mark Crispin Miller author of "The Bush Dyslexicon"

   Click to order

 With free speech now in danger and American democracy at risk,
 we need to hear the truth - and have some laughs!
 A show the White House doesn't want you to see!

 Cherry Lane Theater    Saturday Night
 38 Commerce Street       April 19th & 26th
 NYC                              10pm

 For Reservations, Call: 212-691-4815 or 212-998-5188
 $20. / $10. Students & Educators
 * Now you can reserve online @  markcrispinmiller.org

Please visit our sponsors


"Swear to Koresh, I hate technical 'progress.' "
     -- BartCop, trying to get his new computer to work.

 In the old days, meaning up until this year, I had a perfectly perfect program called "L-View."
 This was such a great program, and it was so tiny it fit in a floppy - remember those?
 It took about one second to open, meaning I could see a picture, double-click on it,
 crop it or shrink it - whatever needed to happen, and close it, swear to Koresh,
 all in about five seconds.

 This new computer I have cost me Fort Knox, it has more than a gig of memory,
 It has the Pentium 6000000000 with eight goddamn fans - and I'm still so much faster than it is.
 Every program I click on - the f-ing hourglass just stares back at me. My first computer in 1993
 was so much faster - and it was a 287 (Is that what they were called?)  A 287 back them was
 about four times slower than a Pentium I, so why was it faster?  No matter what I click on, I have
 to sit and wait.  NOTHING works as good or as fast as my first computer back in 1993.

 So that greedy bastard Bill Gates puts in special code than doesn't allow my old "L-View" program
 to work, so I got hold of a super-great Adobe Photoshop 600 megamonster picture editor and it's
 slower than the unelected governor in a geography bee.

 I click on the icon - and it sits there - and it sits there - and it sits there - and it sits there.
 I'm stairing at the damn hourglass - again, as the clock ticks and ticks and ticks.

 Finally, the Photoshop commercials begin playing, and their lil' countdown tells me alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
 of the extra-super, spiffy-diffy, crap-I'll-never-use-as-long-as-I-live programs are allllllllllll loading.
 This program is loading, that program is loading.   It takes forever and we haven't even started yet.

 With my little L-View program, I would've been done minutes ago, but nooooooooooooooo.
 We have to make progess!  We have to take simple bicycle and complicate it like the goddamn space shuttle.
 So - after I've had to shave again and east two meals, the damn thing opens, but where is "crop?"

 I went to look for it in the Help section, and that author should be taken to Iraq and shot.
 First, since there are hundreds of never-needed programs in this damn Photoshop,
 so that means the users manual is the equivalent of 700 pages long and I'm a busy man.

 I can't spend days "mastering" this stupid program - I got shit to do!
 If I had my piece-0-crap $800 work computer from 2000, I could do two full issues a day.
 But nothing works anymore, unless you have a four-year degree from Dweeb University.

 I need five drinks.

 Who Will Trust Our Man in Iraq?
     by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 Our tame press has published only a few discreet mentions of the $300 million failure of Mr. Chalabi’s family's
 bank in Jordan, and even fewer of his conviction on fraud and embezzlement charges by the Jordanian authorities
 in 1992.  Newspapers that spent untold amounts of time, money and ink pursuing the Whitewater chimera seem
 curiously uninterested in the financial career of Iraq’s would-be president.

 For that kind of information, it is necessary to read the European press. The first hints that the Chalabi banking
 scandal ranged far beyond Jordan’s borders appeared in Le Temps on April 9. The Geneva daily reported how
 the sudden crash of the family’s Petra Bank in Amman was followed by the failure of other Chalabi financial
 institutions in London, Geneva and Beirut, at a huge loss to depositors. Citing sources familiar with the probe
 that ensued, Le Temps indicated that the Chalabis transferred large sums from those deposits into private
 companies owned by members of their family.

 Just like Neil Bush and Silverado!
 Just like those evil Enron bastards!
 Just like Smirk and Arbusto and Harken!
 Just like Smirk and Arlington Stadium!

 These Bush bastards keep using the same formula, the same pattern, again and again, meanwhile the American
 Press is busy tracking down that "mysterious blonde" who was "caught" speaking with Bill Clinton.

 Every time right-wing radio accuses the New York Whore Times of being "Clinton's organ,"
 they get scared and move farther to the right and then they print whatever Mr Rove orders them to print.

 This is why I say lowly  bartcop.com  has more integrity than the whores at the New York Times.
 We print the truth and the NYWTimes prints what will sell the most newspapers.

'Bull Durham' event back on
 Robbins, Sarandon invited to re-create anniversary

  Click  Here

 Bob Costas says officials (No, it was one Nazi pig named Petroskey ) were wrong to nix the
 upcoming event in the wake of anti-war statements by Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon,
 and he's looking to stage the event on his own cable TV program.

 Motormouth Bob - he talked so often he finally got one right.
 Meanwhile, ...Petroskey gets some of his own Bayer-produced medicine.

 Petroskey Throws Wild Pitch

  Click  Here

 Dale Petroskey had been scheduled to throw out the ceremonial first pitch before the
 Mets-Expos game at Hiram Bithorn Stadium in San Juan, but officials in Puerto Rico,
 after consulting with Major League Baseball, decided the timing was not right.

 ha ha

 Suck on that, you anti-First Amendment Nazi.

 We have a 

 The return!
 Having been down so long, calls have backed up.

 Click  Here  to hear a few calls and comments.

 I have tons of these, but I can only run so many each day until we start streaming.
 Streamboy is coming tomoro, so maybe we'll have something up Friday?

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to rant away.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for  pre-BartCop Radio.

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 Did anything piss you off today?
 Are you happy with Bush and his good puppy media?

 Let's hear about it!
 Some media whore needs slapping?  Get to it!

 We're getting closer to 


"A sport that still employs John Rocker can survive an appearance by Tim Robbins
  and Susan Sarandon.  It's a big game. We're a big country. And you don't have to
  be a party member to sit in the bleachers. No matter what Petroskey says."
      --Mark Lane, Bad call - a litmus test for baseball

 Anti-American protests intensify in Iraq
 Now that they have free speech, Iraq says, "Yankee, go home!"

  Click  Here

 Exasperated US military officials tried to hamper the media from covering new
 demonstrations in Baghdad on Tuesday while some 20,000 people in the Shiite
 Muslim bastion of Nasiriyah railed against a US-staged meeting on Iraq's future.

 Gee, that's over twenty times more people than what the networks all said, "swarmed" Baghdad
 with cries of "We love you, Meestar Bosh," so it could make the American evening news.
 The military doesn't want anything on TV that wasn't approved by Mr Rove.

 I think this means we're back to, "We never said it would be a cakewalk."

 Things to do in Dallas today: Wednesday

 Watch her interview on Good Day Dallas on WFAA  TV   9:00 and 10:00AM

 Listen to her noon interview with Glenn Mitchell on KERA FM, then the big one:
 7:00 PM  BORDERS Book Store - signing and talk
 10720 Preston Road  Dallas, TX

                  Integrity is Not for Sale

 Go meet Susan, buy her *great book,* she will sign it.

  Not in Dallas?
  Click to order

Thank her for doing hard time to stop Starr's nasty fascist goons.

 ...and tell her 'Bart says Hey!'

 Does Jack Bauer read  bartcop.com?

 Another sound clip, this one from last night's 24

  Click  Here

 Some of you can't or won't click on links, so here's what happened:
 Jack, our hero, had been kidnapped since Kim wasn't in the show this week.
 (She was last seen being kidnapped by cops.)

 The bad guy wants Jack to give up the chip with the information that proves
 the BF.E.E has staged a fake war, with the help of the CIA and the US military,
 (This is so far-fetched, this could never happen in real life.)

 First, just like the B.F.E.E., they offer Jack mega-bucks to sell out America so they can
 launch their illegal war against the Middle East to make billions of dollars in profits.
 Jack tells him to go to hell.

 BFEE: I'll give you a ton of money for that computer chip.

 Jack:  It's not for sale

 BFEE: If somebody wants to buy it, ...it's for sale.

 Jack: How can you justify starting a war just so to profit from the outcome?

 BFEE:  We're just controlling the chaos.

 Jack: No, you're causing it!

 So, like the B.F.E.E. did with the poor people at Barrick Mining, they murdered Jack.
 They just bulldozed right over him, so to speak.
 He was in their way, and when you get in theway of the B.F.E.E., they murder you.

 Think I'm kidding?  (You should know better by now)

 From Greg Palast's web site:  Look towards the end of the article.

 In August 1996, Sutton’s bulldozers, backed by military police firing weapons, rolled across
 the goldfield, smashing down worker housing, crushing their mining equipment and filling in
 their pits. Several thousand miners and their families were chased off the property. But not
 all of them. About fifty miners were still in their mine shafts, buried alive.

 Buried alive.

 It’s not on Bush’s resume, nor on Barrick’s Web site. You wouldn’t expect it to be.
 But then, you haven’t found it in America’s newspapers either.

 Of course not - the American press was too busy rooting around in Clinton's zipper in 1996.
 They don't have any use for a story that exposes the B.F.E.E. as the murderers they really are.

 ...but if we think Clinton might be getting some tail, we need to stop the government, we need to
 pull FBI agents off the war against terrorism and have 700 of them comb thru Arkansas and
 find some woman willing to make a claim against the last elected president - ever?


"Bush is now trying to find common ground between Turks and Kurds.
  Since he's a turd, he may just be the perfect man for the job!"
  --Barry Crimmins,CrimQuips

  ha ha

 Make him stop!

 Hey from Rackjite

 It’s sometimes called schizophrenia. 39 countries are in our Coalition of the Willing,
 37 poor nations either strong armed or heavily bribed. And Britain and Spain, whose
 two Prime Ministers succumbed easily to the bribery, while more than 80% of the
 populaces are against America's War.   Hell, our biggest bribe was to Turkey, who had
 the balls to turn it down. We are right and the rest of the world is wrong. Simple as that,
 though it does have that smell of Waterloo about it. The attitude throughout most of the
 world is not a hatred of Americans, but a hatred of our bloodthirsty, fundamentalist little
 prick of a Clown President. Amen.

 Liberal Bias Media!  Gosh… Hehehe… Gee… - 4/16/03  http://rackjite.com

 If you did not notice, Crossfire has been off CNN for the duration of the war.
 The horror being that Paul Begala, James Carville or some America Hating guest
 could blurt out something negative about all the unbridled glee we take in pushing
 so much violence, killing and war around the world. A dangerous (though slight)
 possibility for CNN, which could cause another quarter million of our intelligent
 voting public going to Fox News.

 He makes a good point.
 Mr Rove must've ordered CNN to remove Carville and Begalla.
 We can't hear from THE MAJORITY while this atrocity is taking place.
 The American whore media is playing ball with the White House.
 It makes for increased profits, and that's the name of the game.

 Be sure to subscribe while we're still not funny.
 Get in for the half-funny rate of only $5 a month.
 I have a computer and it's hooked up - mostly.

 We're closer than ever to making something happen.

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 The right has a monopoly on everything but the Internet.

 Click  Here   to have your contribution matched by our silent benefactor.


"I did not get in this race as the peace candidate. People are turning to
  my campaign because they want a sense of hope again, they want health
  insurance and they want leaders who are not afraid to say what they think."
       --  Howard Dean, sounding like a Democrat should

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