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Volume 1046 - The rockets blue glare

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 Thursday April 17, 2003


"Let them take the oil and leave."  
   --Mohammed Ramadan, city of Tikrit

"Then we have a deal!"

 Bush's Conspiracy to Riot

 Subject: A List of the Phony Florida "Protestors" To Go With Your Photo

 You mentioned that you'd lost track of the list that went along with the photo
 of the Republican "protestors" from the election.   Here it is.

 1. Tom Pyle, policy analyst, office of House Majority Whip Tom DeLay (R-Tex.).
 2. Garry Malphrus, majority chief counsel and staff director, House Judiciary subcommittee on criminal justice.
 3. Rory Cooper, political division staff member at the National Republican Congressional Committee.
 4. Kevin Smith, former House Republican conference analyst and more recently of Voter.com.
 5. Steven Brophy, former aide to Sen. Fred D. Thompson (R-Tenn.), now working at the consulting firm KPMG.
 6. Matt Schlapp, former chief of staff for Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-Kan.), now on the Bush campaign staff in Austin.
 7. Roger Morse, aide to Rep. Van Hilleary (R-Tenn.).
 8. Duane Gibson, aide to Chairman Don Young (R-Alaska) of the House Resources Committee.
 9. Chuck Royal, legislative assistant to Rep. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.).
10. Layna McConkey, former legislative assistant to former Rep. Jim Ross Lightfoot (R-Iowa),
     now at Steelman Health Strategies.

 Many thanks to  http://vander.hashish.com/articles/election2000/  for the link
 I know there are other versions, I think the furst one I saw was from MWO.

 So how can Bush's Good Puppy media, knowing we've seen this evidence, continue with the lie
 that the local neighborhood people of Florida just wanted the vote counting to be stopped?
 Isn't their paid-for presence PROOF that Gore would've won a fair count?

 I mean, why do you have to influence the vote if your guy is the people's choice?


"Thank God for Savage and Scarborough. With them, who besides, Rush, O’Reilly, Buchanan, Novak,
  Kristol, Roger Ailes, Hannity, Barnes, Hume, Will, the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Times,
  The New York Post, the Weekly Standard, American Spectator, The New York Sun, all of Fox, most of
  MSNBC cable, much of CNN, ABC, National Review, Drudge, Andy, Ann Coulter, Bernard Goldberg, etc,
  would have the guts to take on The liberal media?"
     --Eric Alterman, Altercation

 Subject: Crossfire and CNN

 Hello BC.

 I was watching C-Span this morning and they had the Chief News Executive (hoo-ah!) on the show from CNN.
 This exec was explaining why they are moving Crossfire from 7:00 to 4:30..."since Crossfire is such an important show,
 we moved the time so more people could watch."  The C-Span lady said "How will they watch?  From their offices"?
 You should have seen the look on his face.  He mumbled some complete horseshit about how 'many people get off work
 before 4:30' or some such lie.   (Why won't the Invisible Cloud Being let me on that show just once?)

 I've been wondering about Crossfire myself...not too hard to figure out why they haven't been on.
 But you know something BC?
 The only person worth anything at all on that show was Carville.
 Even Begala started sounding like he took the I Love GeeDuhbya Course 101.


 Carville is the man. His brain is almost as good as Clinton's but Clinton has to be restrained somewhat, which
 I can understand. We can't have a former president screaming, "Horseshit!" - at least not very often.

 My problem with Begala is his willingness to heap praise on the unelected Usurper and he's too eager
 to team up wuth Novak or Bow-Tie boy and beat up the liberal guest.


"The anti-war activists' prediction and deepest hope was that the black shirts of the fedayeen
  were going to win or force a stalemate. Just like they predicted, the Arab street did explode,
  but with the joy of freedom, which is not the one that they meant, so they are furious and depressed."
    --Christopher Hitchens

 Hey Chris, fuck you.  That's not true and you know it - you slimeball whore. I'm against this war, and don't
 you dare try and speak for me.  You've been a willing cabanaboy for the right-wing for almost a decade now,
 so stop claiming you're a liberal. Since I've known who you were, the only negative thing you've ever said
 about the right was that Nancy Reagan was a whore, and that's not true, either.

 Subject: Fox, CNN, et al.

 You know, I've been a reader for a while, and one thing I wanted to bring to the table is that while
 FOX is so biased towards the right, it is a fiscal pandoras box.  It actually beat CNN in viewership
 on the war coverage, and made a lot of money for Murdochs empire. So what do you think of the
 possibility that CNN, MSNBC and other cable news services are emulating FOX not to be a member
 of the vast right wing conspiracy (or because Karl Rove tell's `em what to print), but because it makes
 them financially successful?

 Of course, that doesn't make them any less whorish, but in this day and age, money talks.
 If more money is to be made pandering to the right, fueling the undercurrent of fear that
 so many of them are feeling, what does that say about the left?

 I mean, seriously. The right and the left have their share of intelligent folks, but there seems to be a
 larger percentage of rightwing morons who will invest in gold, herbal viagra and rogain, thus funding
 the neo-con news stations. And, the drums of war are more interesting to a lot of people than paying for education.


 Zed, of course.
 That's how Rush got on all those cable shows.
 Despite the lies that Rush has 20M listeners, the truth is he has (or had) 4 million, not 20.
 If he's going to receive Monica from Brian Williams on MSNBC, he relentlessly promotes it.
 Then if he's lucky, he gets five percent of his listeners to watch MSNBC that night.

 The trick is, Williams only gets about 150,000 viewers per night. So if he says enough good things about Rush,
 and promises Rush that he'll only be praised and blown, then Ruish can make that night New Year's Eve for MCNBC.

 This way, Rush doesn't have to answer any critics or explain his wild-ass accusations (and Williams KNOWS that
 Rush is the biggest fraud on politics OR show business, but this way they all win.  Rush looks legit, Williams is in
 great with his bosses and his bosses make sure future commercial rates depend on the numbers that night
 That kind of lying to the public under the pretense of a "news show" should be illegal.

 Funny, if you say your cookies are fat free, and they're not, that's considered a crime.
 But if you swear you're "fair an balanced" and then lie for Bush non-stop and around the clock - that's legal?

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Support the troops with your hair!

Brandi shows the new "Choppa style" cut.

Marty's E! page
Alex & Al Pacino
Reader review of 'Buffy'
Bob Hope - robber baron?
Von Zahn replaces Chung, 'Crossfire' cut in half
Tolkien's house sold for $1.1. million
Spike Lee in North Dakota
Melissa Etheridge is getting married
Ms. Presley's debuts in 5th place
Enron's art to be auctioned
Brando's maid, (mother of his 3 youngest) had her lawsuit dismissed
Suge Knight removed from the 'Big Lurch' lawsuit
The M & M Cigar Store in Butte, Montana is closing after 113 years
And, LSD was 60 years old yesterday


 Toronto Catholics no longer kiss crucifix
 They need every Catholic they can get

  Click  Here

 Due to SARS, Toronto's Roman Catholic leaders suspended the practice of sipping sacramental wine
 from a communal cup and said the traditional communion wafer will be placed in churchgoers' hands
 and not on their tongues. In addition, confession will take place outside the confessional booth,
 churchgoers will bow instead of shaking hands as a sign of peace during services and instead
 of kissing the crucifix, people are being asked to bow or genuflect instead.

 Or, since it's Easter, they could give out Hershey Kisses, each wrapped in foil.

 Hey, I have a great idea!
 Why not hold the Mass online, and that way nobody can catch anything from anybody?

 Doesn't this make sense?
 I mean, the whole wine & wafer thing is symbolic - they're not really eating Christ's body and
 drinking his blood  (and no, we're not going into why that's pure insanity right now).  And with
 cable modems in many homes, a camera and a mic could bring the celebration to millions of people.

 Uh - damn, ...that's right, ...it just hit me.

 My plan to spread Catholicism throughout the planet just crashed back to Earth.
 If they do it online, there's no collection plate.
 If there's no collection plate, there's no reason to hold the service.

 I feel so stupid...


 Subject: Shirley

 I am a hertosexual woman aged 65+. I read Bartcop every day.
 I wish I could afford to support you, but on SS our "disposable" income is in the red area.

 Anyway, after seeing your Shirley pictures every day---well--she is beginning to look attractive to ME!
 I've never heard her sing & now I'm a little afraid to play her music.
 I'm a little too old to follow a band around the country---but SHE is really HOT.
 Am trying NOT to scroll down to see her every day---must forgo this addiction.


 Shirley's most attractive feature is her brain.  She has a nice voice, but she puts more of herself into
 her songs than most Oscar winning actresses do in their roles.  And in concert, she's a madwoman!
 We spent a week in the California redwoods listenting to Beautiful Garbage and the whole album got
 seared into my empty-at-the-time brain. It took about a year for the songs to stop running in my head.

 Maybe someone could get word to Shirley to call the BartPhone at 918-483-1500
 That would be cool.

 Thanks for the note, and don't think you're the only one under her spell :)

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 What do they think of Bush in Sweden?


I hope the entire world doesn't feel that way about America,
but what else can they think when they hear *most* Americans support
this religiously-insane bastard and his plans to take over the whole world?

 Oh, God

 I caught part of NBC's interview with RFK Jr.
 Kennedy said his cousin Michael Skakel was not masturbating in the tree
 over the dead girl's body - he was masturnating in a completely different tree!

 Oh God!

 How did I get in this party?
 Only a Democrat would use the, "But I masturbated in a different tree!" defense on national television.

 From what my Memphis musician friends told me, Elvis used to climb the trees at Graceland,
 but so far, no reports that he masturbated in the trees - I guess he was a Republican.

 I'd like to read another acoount...  ...let me rephrase that - it would perhaps be enlightening to read further
 about last night's interview.  Hopefully, overall, the interview wasn't as completely absurd as the segment I saw.

 Have you wondered why FOX hired Monica Lewinsky?

 They hired Monica so they could keep her in the minds of voters.  I heard this Goebbels-inspied
 Nazi propaganda when they made the announcement. "Monica Lewinsky joins her former
 paramoure Bill Clinton on TV this fall," making it sound like they were the new Sonny & Cher.
 They tried to pretend Clinton was another Dole, another Newt, another Reagan or another Giuliani.
 Jesus, Rudy brought his girlfriend to CHURCH and sat in the front damn row!

 Remember the old George Carlin bit?
 It's a sin to think about feeling up Judith Nathan (is that her name?)
 It's a sin to want to have a plan about feeling up Judith Nathan.
 It's a sin to have a plan about feeling up Judith Nathan.
 It's a sin to look for a place to feel up Judith Nathan.
 You're in for four felonies and you haven't felt a thing.

 But since the Illegal King is known as the dullest knife in the drawer, sell sell us his integrity!
 Can you believe the gall?  And one way they can do that is to tarnish the best, most effective
 and impressive presidential performance in the last fifty years,

 So how does FOX cover this? They run nightly specials on  the Corrupt Commander called,
"Smirk! War Hero or Saint in mortal's body?   We'll provide the facts - You decide!"

 The last election was close enough for the B.F.E.E. to hijack it, so Monica is worth billions
 to the B.F.E.E. Network.   She could've held out for three million per show and gotten it.

 They're going to use her to make the peace and prosperity president out to be evil, while the oil-fetish,
 death-lusting, brainless warmonger and tax-frauder will become the poster boy for Jesus Christ Inc.

 Poor Monica - used by the Republicans once again...


 your american police state has finally caught up with me.
 See, I work for this american multinational, and recently, our India
 HR manager sent out a mail to all of us saying we are not to use company
 networks to distribute war information. The rumor in office is that this message
 was a result an anti-war email sent by someone here reaching one of the big
 bosses in america, who flew into a rage and ordered the India boss to fire him.
 The bloke was fired man.
 So now some of us here are scared to visit anti-war websites, and we have
 stopped sending out peace emails. Isn't this scary?

 I mean just because I work for an american company i can't say anything
 that is constructed as "anti-american"? So what if this is an american company,
 this is also my country- a democracy with its own constitution, which
 guarantees free speech. It's just makes me miserable.

 Dude, that's sad to hear.
 I'm so old, I remember when America used to stand for free speech,
 but when the unelected King stole power- all that changed.

 I blame the Democrats.

We love our Dubya!

 Evil is always with us, and it's the job of the good to stand up to evil,
 but my American allies are too goddamn scared to stand up.
 They're not afraid physically, they're afraid Mr Rove might not like them anymore.

 Once we get BCR going, I imagine we'll be testing the boundaries.
 The good news is, since the BCR subscribers are my only "bosses,"
 nobody can fire me for telling the truth and broadcasting it worldwide.

 Between Marc Perkel and the EFF, I'm untouchable - at least until
 Field Marshall Ashcroft has his brown boots kick in my front door.

"So, you're starting an Al Qaeda radio station, are ya?
 We'll see how long that lasts, Funnyboy.
 I got my eyes on you."

 We have a 

 Having been down so long, calls have backed up.

 Click  Here  to hear Bart's practice tape Number Four

 Remember, even the great ones sounded eztra-stupid when they just got started.

 I have tons of these, but I can only run so many each day until we start streaming.
 Streamboy is coming today, so maybe we'll have something up Friday?

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to rant away.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for  pre-BartCop Radio.

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 Did anything piss you off today?
 Are you happy with Bush and his good puppy media?

 Let's hear about it!
 Some media whore needs a slapping?  Get to it!

 We're getting closer to 

 Subject: Integrity among Republican Presidents

 Hey Bartcop,

 Just saw the following in a letter to Sports Illustrated, in response to an article
 implying that Bill Clinton's creative golf scoring is a sure sign that his integrity is lacking.:

"We have not had a Republican ex-president since Eisenhower
  who did not get a pardon or give one to his predecessor or staff..."


 Hey, whoever wrote that reads  bartcop.com
 And doesn't it speak volumes about today's GOP when taking a mulligan at golf is worse
 behavior than selling Stinger missles to Islamic Jihad and lying about it under oath?

 The America press has done their job well...


"They are aggressors. They destroyed us. They put us
  in war and didn't let us sleep. They just raided Baghdad."
     --Ali Ahmed, 17, lying in a hospital bed

 Subject: Chalabi - Sydney Morning News 

 hey bart...

 i'm forwarding an email i sent you in february about chalabi being appointed to succeed saddam.....
 wondering why it was reported then in the Sydney Morning Herald, but our media wasn't saying anything
 about it until now..... wonder what that "blueprint for post saddam justice system" in the photo contains...

 Click  Here


 Wait, ...Chalabi's been a B.F.E.E. puppet for months, and the Aussies knew about it?
 Because the Aussie press is honest enough to give their breaders the truth?
 First I ever heard Chalabi's name was a week or so before Saddam, ...I mean ..the Saddam statue fell.

 Subject: Neoconservative??????

 Hey Bart, the term neoconservative, what the hell does it mean?
 Neo means new.
 There is nothing new about this Group Of Prigs.

 Are they the newbie republi-crooked?
 No, they are all retread corpro-fascist religious fanatics - Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush;
 brought back to life to give the boy king a little gravitas.

 Who came up with this term?
 Was it the "liberal" media, or was it the media's bosses in the RNC?
 Seems neconservative sounds better than right-wing-extremist.

 Keep the hammer pounding,

 Sal, I think the name works.
 Recently, my good friend Alan Bisnort whote a thing about, "I miss Nixon."
 I didn't want to invade his parade, or whatever that saying is, but I feel that way about Reagan.
 Reagan was a harmless old coot who didn't care about niggers, the poor, faggots and Indians.
 He was sure he was right and that's all there is to it.

 I wish we could go back there!

 As much as I stand with blacks, gays and Native Americans, at least we weren't universally hated
 all around the globe, invading countries and stealing their oil because the Unelected Corruptician
 said he heard voices in his head saying, "Oil...    ...is real!"

 The Reagan years look like fun times next to Bush's fascist warmongering.

 Saw Todd Rundgren on Dave last night.
 He did "Hello, It's Me."
 You kids won't know the song, but it was big back then.

 I forget the year, maybe 1974, I needed a bad-ass stereo, but I had no money.
 Mrs. Bart and I drove to, ...Denver where my sister and her hubs and kids lived.
 She agreed to co-sign for a really good stereo system for me. She asked if I'd be
 getting it from Sears or Penney's, and I said, ... no.

 We got it on Big Bend Blvd, at a stereo shop called, "Hi-Fi-Fo-Fum."
 (Isn't that a great name for a stero store?)
 She co-signed for her ne'er-do-well little brother's credit fidelity.

 I got a Dual turntable, (turntables are rotating circular discs that support a "LP"
 while a cat-gut, crystal/audio transfer system did its best to reproduce sound)

 I also got a receiver made by KLH.
 If my long-term memory is telling the truth, KLH is backwards for the owner's initials,
 and since his name was Henry L Kloss, (Is it Koss or Klass?) I'm thinking it could be true.
 Ever heard of Kloss headphones?

 Also, call be a cultist if you must, but I remember Kloss also owning "Advent."
 Being Catholic, how could I resist?

 If all this is off-base, don't write and scream, "Liar!"
 Write and scream, "Confused!"

 Anyway, Advent had the first REAL cassette recorder/player in America.
 I bought it in (probably 1974) when the world was into 8-Tracks.

 Plus,   speakers were really serious speakers back than.
 I know as much about electronics as I do most things, but when the salesman told me
 I made a "really good choice with Advent," I knew I had some quality stuff.

 ...so, where am I going with this?

 Last night on Dave Todd sang, "Hello, It's Me," and that was the first song I ever heard on
 a serious stereo system that to this day, makes profesional musicians ask, "Is that a CD?"

 ha ha

 This story probably would've worked better on the BCR than in print...

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 We haven't heard from anybody in Dallas who met Susan McDougal last night.

 We heard from lots of people in LA, Seatlle, Austin, etc - but no Dallas?

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