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Volume 1048 - Who's Next

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 Weekend April 19-20, 2003


'Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for
 the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is."
   -- Candidate Extra Stupid, April of 1999

 But now that he's stolen the White House, we're in a never-ending war
 and no countries support the mess Bush has gotten us into.

"I don't get it..."

 US should be "embarrassed" over failure to find WMDs
  That's what former spies are saying

  Click  Here

 Retired CIA intelligence analyst Ray McGovern told AFP: "Some of my colleagues
 are virtually certain that there will be some weapons of mass destruction found,
 even though they might have to be planted.

 He added: "Even if the planting was discovered by and by, they'll say, 'OK the weapons were planted -- fine.'"

 McGovern said he was alluding to a remark by Colin Powell after it emerged that a letter purporting to show
 that Iraq had sought to procure uranium from Niger -- a key argument in the case for war and cited in Bush's
 January 28 State of the Union address - was a forgery.

 Powell told NBC: "It was the information that we had. We provided it. If that information is inaccurate, fine."

 The B.F.E.E. is doing this because they know nobody will call them on it, and nobody can stop them.
 I've said it a hundred times - the Democrats are too scared to stand up, the press is on the payroll,
 no other country can stop them, the Supreme Court is owned by the B.F.E.E., so our only hope
 is that some moderate Republicans will finally say, "Mr President, you've gone too far."

 Until that happens, the B.F.E.E. will continue to run wild, like drunken Iraqi looters.


"It's like getting one of those cards announcing that instead of a Christmas present, someone has made
  a contribution in your name to some charity you aren't interested in. 'Dear American Taxpayer: We are
  pleased to inform you that in gratitude for all the billions you're going to be pouring into Iraq, the U.S.
  government has made a sweetheart deal on your behalf with a company you've never heard of.' Eighty
  billion dollars—the size of just the first expense report the Bush administration has submitted to Congress
  —works out to about $1,000 that needs to be kicked in by each household in the United States. Of course
  we're putting it all on the credit card, to be paid for in the future, with interest."
         --Michael Kinsley, sometimes liberal, Thanks for Nothing

 The first stop on the "We are at war tour" is almost over

  Click  Here

 With the forced liberation in Iraq seemingly coming to a close, speculation becomes more prevalent
 about where President Bush's "Roadmap to Peace" will lead us next. It would seem either Iran or
 maybe even North Korea would show up at the top of the presidential hit-list, but the smart money's
 on Syria. It may receive the next American democratic makeover.

 Did Ronald Reagan really die in 2001?
  According to thesmokinggun.com, that's what CNN posted in their website.

 Click  Here  to read CNN obits for Reagan, Cheney, and others.

 Ten Ways You Can Support Our Troops
  Parody from  thespeciousreport.com

  Click  Here

 Don't Criticize the President. Anyone who criticizes the President is against the troops.
 It is NEVER right to criticize a President (except for Bill Clinton who is a lying rapist and a murdering pothead).

 Don't Criticize the President's Advisors. No one knows how to be more patriotic than former oil executives
 and arms dealers. So keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.

 Bill Maher had a good one

 Click  Here  (extra short)

New stuff at the Bart Store

                                                         'bartcop.com"  t-shirt        "Syria's Next" Chinaco mug    "Syria's Next" baseball jersey

 I got a new chain letter.


 Suibject: Dear _____ in Christ,

 Calvary greetings in the name of our lord jesus christ. I am Elder Joseph Emeka,
 a member of redeemed piller fire ministry - basically a prayer and deliverance ministry.

 ha ha

"Redeemed fire pillar ministry?"
 I need to get me one of those...
 What'd you pay for yours, ...I mean total set-up costs and everything?

 During a prayer and fasting session in my ministry I pleaded with our lord jesus christ
 to give me the opportunity to redeem my life and purify what remains of my wealth.

 Wait, you don't even capitalize His name?
 Hell, I do that and I don't even believe in Him.

 God delively revealed to me

 ha ha

 The Catholic God can spell perfectly!

 ...to invest in his kingdom through you and your ministry /charity organisation.

  ha ha

 Make him stop!
 Your God told you to team up with me?
 Who was drinking the wine when He told you that - you or Him?

 You should immediately contact me with my e-mail address.

 Since it's the only adrress you sent, that's good thinking.

 The way jesus ministered to me, the funds will be expanded.
 Remain blessed.
 Elder Joseph Emeka.

 This guy works a mark like Jennifer Liberto

 And check out his Smirk double talk:
 The funds will be "expanded" the way jesus ministered to Scamboy.

 ha ha

 Why would Jesus team up with Scamboy and send him to me, but not tell Scamboy by name?
 Gee, it's almost like he's lying to get my money.

 Oh, and last thing?  I spent 12 years in a Catholic POW Camp,
 and I never once heard anybody say Jesus was from France.


"The neocons took advantage of Bush's ignorance and inexperience. Unlike his father, a World War II
 veteran who had been ambassador to China, director of the CIA, and vice president, George W was a
 thinly educated playboy who had failed repeatedly in business before becoming the governor of Texas...
 The son of upper-class Episcopalian parents, he converted to Southern fundamentalism in a midlife crisis.
 The younger Bush was tilting away from Powell and toward Wolfowitz ("Wolfie," as he calls him) even
 before 9/11 gave him something he had lacked: a mission in life other than following in his dad's footsteps."
    --Michael Lind,  How Neocons....Launched a War,

 Here's a Jon Stewart clip

  Click  Here

 In that clip, Stewart plays the straight man, but I wonder...

 Is it time we declare Jon Stewart the funniest man in America?
 In my book, he's got funniest white man already, but Bigger & Blacker,
 the last bit of greatness we got from Chris Rock is what, two years old?

 When Rock is on, he's the best there is, but he's hardly ever on anymore.
 Stewart is out there, hitting home runs four nights a week.

 Do we award Jon Stewart the title, "Funniest man in America?"

Please visit our sponsors.

 Beginning Monday, April 21 The Mike Malloy Show is Moving to 9PM to Midnight ET!

 Only in Oklahoma

 We had tornadoes* in Oklahoma Saturday night.

 It's my best guess that they use voluntary "spotters" to track the tornadoes*
 because one guy spotting for the NBC affiliate called in with reports of "huge hail."

 When Weather-Anchorboy asked him "How big is the hail?," the volunteer answered.
"It's bigger than a golf ball, but smaller than a mountain oyster."

 That didn't help me, because I've never seen one, much less eaten one.

 And, as they always do, all four networks gave us their personal guarantee that if we dared
 to change from their channel to another, God would certainly murder th viewer and his family.

 You gotta love no-rules, absolutely ion-pure capitalism.

*Homage to Dan Quayle - damn, I miss the old days,
    when the morons weren't leading the planet into disaster.

  Click  Here

 This is a good one. We've got the discovery of 4000 bodies of Polish officers
 discovered by the Germans in the Katyn Woods (Stalin offed them).

 We've got Yamamoto (best of the I.J.N.) getting killed in a daring air attack by USAAF.

 Finally we've got the beginning of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.
 Some pretty grim stuff.

 There's a good anti-Smirk video
  done by  democraticunderground.com

  Click  Here

 Thanks to Jeff Matson

Marty's E! page
Etta James on the Hollywood Walk O'Fame
Dixie Chicks may lose Lipton Tea commercials
'Will & Grace' picked up for another year
T.A.T.U. & the nude photo shoot
Gene Kelly's ex-wives are sniping
The movie 'Shane' is 50 years old
'Jeopardy!' has a new 'all-time' money champ
Burt Rutan & SpaceShipOne
And, a giant turtle freed from a sorcerer


 There's a site called   frontpagemag.com which seems to be all about David Horowitz (R-Prostitute)

 For some reason, they think Ol' Bart is "Hollywood left."


 Why the Hollywood Left Hates Bruce Willis

 Is it really any surprise, therefore, that the left-leaning media consistently fire cheap shots at him?

 Liar, liar.
 Bruce Willis can't act, and he's a disgusting hypocrite. He was all over Clinton for his infidelity, but guess
 why Bruce is no longer living with his wife and kids?. You don't really need a lot of guesses, do you?
 Willis wanted a romp with Liv Tyler more than he wanted to keep his family intact.

 Indeed, how could they even possibly forgive him for failing, unlike every progressive in Hollywood,
 to grab a microphone at every opportunity to spout off about his latest cause regarding "social justice"?

 How about we call a spade a spade and not give Bruce a pass because he's rich?

 That is why the media continues to drag his character through the mud, criticizing his skills as an actor
 -- not because of the skills, but because of the political beliefs that underlie them.   Bartcop.com comments:

> "(Bruce Willis) can't act. To be a good actor, you have to surrender yourself into a role…
> You have to be able to become that person and conservatives don't have any heart or any compassion,
> so they can't act their way out of a paper bag."

 And so guess what this is all about?

 It is about that Bruce Willis, more than any of his contemporaries, has defined the modern American hero:
 an average everyman who has undying love for his family; a flawed man who struggles with his weaknesses;
 a man whose heart is large and instincts strong; a man who exudes masculinity and a competitive spirit that assist
 him in eventually conquering the "bad" guys; the guys that leftists fantasize about prostrating themselves in front of.

 Horse hockey!

 Willis can semi-play that one kind of character, the quiet loner, like Clint Eastwood and Arnold.
 We also like to poke Willis because the GOP gives him and Clint and Arnold a pass on violence.

 In Die Hard II, Willis ran a screwdriver into a man's eye. In Dirty Harry, Clint shot a suspect, then stood
 on his gunshot leg and asked him questions, saying he "didn't deserve" to have any civil rights.  And Arnold - his
 most famous phrase is "I'll be back!" which he said to a cop in The Terminator just before he drove a truck
 through the police station wall and murdered a dozen cops. But when the GOP wants to rile up their base,
 they scream at ...Oliver Stone for too much violence, giving Bruce, Clint and Arnold a total pass.
 That's hypocrisy and I'm going to call it when I see it.

 And you can tell this rag belongs to Horowitz by that closing line - this whore think leftists fantasize about
 submitting to the bad guys? What kind of homo-erotic horseshit is this clown trying to project on us?

 Bruce Willis can't act, and saying so is evidence that I submit to the bad guys?
 That kind of crap is what Rush Limbaugh has contributed to modern politics.
 Perhaps a certain somebody has a secret desire to be taken by Bruce Willis?

 His rant started with a whine about nobody liking Tears of the Sun, which the critics hated.
 Let's flash back to an excerpt from Volume 1016 - Scratch Clinic


 How to tell if your movie sucks
     by BartCop

 Movie Three is Tears of the Sun starring Bruce Willis.

 It gets spectacular reviews from:

Tony Toscano of Talking Pictures - ha ha - what is that?  A kid's website?
Richard Horrmann of Parade Magazine Radio - - ha ha - what is that?
   We all know Parade Magazine, but what the hell is Parade Magazine Radio?
   Are they owned by Columbia Pictures, the film's producer and distributor?
Mignon Turner of Hollywood Hotwire said, "Willis is a stunning actor," which he is - stunningly bad.
   Mignon liked the Steve Martin movie, too.    His/her opinion just miiiiiiight be for rent - ya think?
To be honest, (and what is bartcop.com  if not honest?) Ebert & Roeper called it "The best military
    thriller since Blackhawn Down."     Wasn't Blackhawn Down the last military thriller released?

 That tells me this movie might suck, but not as bad as Bush's economy.


 Subject: MSNBC

 Hey Bart,

 Last night someone was on MSNBC doing an '"expose" of the Bechtel players.
 The hosts made SURE they jumped in with "not that there's anything wrong with that"
 and "this must be done and it was the low bid" blah blah blah. It sickened me how
 quick they were to interject this to wrap up the segment.

 I'd almost rather the television didn't bother highlighting these kinds of issues,
 as it reduces the need for the ditto monkeys to try to find the real truth.
 "Oh, I heard that on MSNBC, and they told me it was OK, I don't have to worry - phew!".

 Later I caught Costas on O'Reilly - O' was equating Robbins being cancelled by the HOF
 to the fact the Robbins won't go on O's show. Each time Costas tried to explain the difference,
 O' cut him off and quickly ended the sement.

 We are in deep deep trouble in this country.
 Please never go over to the dark side, Bart!!!

 Meg in Wisconsin

 Meg, the bad news is it will only get worse.
 I think in five years we'll be wishing it was 2003 again.

 While I an NOT advocating violence, I wonder why we haven't seen even the
 possibility of the hint of a potential for semi-violence on one of these shows?

 My favorite example is David Brock that time on Crossfire.  Bow Tie Boy kept asking
 Brock why he would publish a book full of crap that Brock knew were actually lies...

 One of these days, someone will stand up and say, "Who you calling a liar?"
 I think Bow Tie Boy would probably back down, and it would send s precedent
 that if you're attacked by one of these right-wing chickenhawks, they have to wonder
 what's behind Door Number Two when the guest goes postal on him.

 Costas is big enough in the TV industry that he could've called O'Reilly out, and said,
"Maybe you being such a cocky and rude bastard is why he won't vome on?"

 Oh, and ideologically, I'm not going anywhere.
 I take too much flack from the suicide left as it is.


"Saddam is a person who claims he has no weapons of mass destruction, in order to
  escape the dictums of the U.N. Security Council and the United Nations -- but he's got them"
             --Dubya, Colorado, 10/28/02

 Smirk, you keep saying that - but where are they?

Hits are up 300 percent in 12 months
and ad prices have been cut in half.

$80 for two ads, $300 for ten.
Cheaper than dirt.

Best deal on the Internet.

 Did you know at Wal- Marts in Mexico they give you free tequila?

 I think idea is mui excellente, but it's probably Cuervo, or worse.

 Update: Streamboy is due to be here Monday.

 Reminder:  Once we start streaming, the download is only seconds.
                               It'll load the second minute while you listen to the first,
                               so these audio files are about to get a lot more convenient.

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to rant away.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for  pre-BartCop Radio.

 Did anything make you mad today?
 Are you happy with Bush and his good puppy media?

 Let's hear about it!

 Some media whore needs a slapping?  It's up to you!

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 We're getting closer to 

 Iraqis Protest Against United States
  To them, Bush is another Saddam, but less smart

  Click  Here

"Muslims poured out of mosques and into the streets of Baghdad, calling for an Islamic state
 to be established in the biggest protest since U.S. forces toppled Saddam Hussein's iron-fisted,
 24-year-long rule nine days ago. Carrying Korans, prayer mats and banners, tens of thousands
 of people marched in a protest that organizers said represented both Iraq's majority Shi'ite
 Muslims and powerful Sunnis. "Leave our country, we want peace," read one banner.
"No Bush, No Saddam, Yes Yes to Islam," read another."


"Why do they hate us? Because the Bush doctrine says that since we are the only superpower,
  we will do whatever we want no matter what anyone else thinks. Speak loudly and carry the
  First Marines and the Third Infantry. Moreover, even in Ireland, where the hatred for us is
  quieter than elsewhere, they will tell you they are infuriated every time they see Bush and
  Rumsfeld on TV. I respond that the American people did not elect Bush, and that at least the
  Irish are spared a steady diet of John Ashcroft."
       --Andrew Greeley,  Victory doesn't justify war


 I had a letter (just one - sniff) in the PO Box on Friday.
 It was addressed:

 PO Box
 Tulsa, OK 74155

 It made me feel like Elvis.

 Pope Recalls War Victims on Good Friday

  Click  Here

 ROME - Four Iraqis shouldered a tall wooden cross for ailing Pope John Paul II
 during the Good Friday procession, marked by the pontiff's special prayer for
"victims of hate, war and terrorism."

 Be sure to subscribe while we're still not funny.
 Get in for the half-funny rate of only $5 a month.
 We're closer than ever to making something happen.

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 Subject: what a loser

 I find myself troubled why you still even continure to publish
 your website when your side has lost all credibility.

 Everything you guys believe in is been proven wrong,
 from taxes to the military to Iraq.

 Why do you even try anymore


 ha ha

 Proven wrong?
 What on Earth are you smoking, and how much would a half ounce cost me?

 We're in a horrible recession and we have deficits higher than those of Reagan and Bush I.
 How does that prove we are wrong on taxes?  Where is the logic of your position?
 I have a question for you : Why can't the super rich make it without YOUR help?
 Why don't you fight for your self or the little guy instead of the super rich?

 And as far as Iraq, we haven't found bin Laden, we haven't found Saddam
 and we damn sure haven't found the weapons of mass destruction, which is the
 reason the Crooked Commander gave us for why we had to invade them.

 Do me a favor - find some smarter Republican than yourself so I can beat him up, OK?
 I almost feel guilty beating up a guy who has no idea what he's talking about.

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                                      Conason              MCMiller              McDougal        Conason/Lyons         Huffington               Palast                 Lyons

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com

                         Shirley in the Devil's red

 Maybe someone could get word to Shirley to call the BartPhone at 918-483-1500
 That would be cool.

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