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Volume 1050 - Born on the Buy You

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 Tues-Wed April 22-23, 2003


"Did you know that Bush's economic plan will create 1.4 million jobs? Oh, and did I mention
 that the plan will create 1.4 million jobs? And don't forget, the plan will create 1.4 million jobs.
 Republican politicians are obviously under instructions to push that job number. On the Sunday
 talk shows some of them said "1.4 million jobs" so often that it sounded like an embarrassing
 nervous tic. Of course, there's no reason to take that number seriously. Basically, the job-creation
 estimate came from the same place where Joseph McCarthy learned that there were 57 card-carrying
 Communists in the State Department."
   --Paul Krugman, Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

 But wait a minute - Bush's money transfer top the super-rich has already lost over two million job,
 so he's saying making that same mistake again will somehow create 1.4M new jobs?

 That means if he's telling the truth (ha!) and everything goes according to his plan
 we'll stioll be 600,000 jobs in the hole - why would anyone back this idea?

"Mr Rove said this was good politics..."

 Empire vs. Republic
  by Robert Parry from consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

 George W. Bush’s doctrine of preemptive wars is creating a new deep divide in U.S. politics.
 On one side, Bush and his backers see the Iraq War as the start of an American global empire
 built around unparalleled military power. On the other, a scattered grouping of skeptics dig in
 for what they see as a fight for the soul of the American republic.

 Without doubt, the Bush side now owns the strategic high ground, asserting vindication in the U.S.
 ouster of Iraq’s dictator Saddam Hussein. Bush also can claim near total mastery of a U.S. news
 media that shed any pretense of “objectivity” as it flooded the nation with heroic images of American
 soldiers and heart-warming scenes of grateful Iraqis, while downplaying civilian dead and growing
 signs that many Iraqis resent the U.S. occupation.


"Senator Dole, aren't you a little over the top? We were grateful when the U.N.
  stood with us after 9/11, when French and German soldiers joined us in Afghanistan
  to hunt for bin Laden. You remember him. He's the one who killed our people.
  By the way, those French and German soldiers are still there.
     -- Big Dog, kicking poor Bob Dole's ass every week on 60 Minutes

 Where was the danger to U.S. from Baghdad?
     by Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

 From the moment that statue of Saddam hit the ground, the mood around the Rumsfeld campfire
 has been all high-fives, I-told-you-sos and endless smug prattling about how the speedy fall of
 Baghdad is proof positive that those who opposed the invasion of Iraq were dead wrong.

 What utter nonsense.
 In fact, the speedy fall of Baghdad proves the anti-war movement was dead right.

 The whole pretext for our unilateral charge into Iraq was that the American people were
 in imminent danger from Saddam and his mighty war machine. The threat was so clear and
 present that we couldn’t even give inspectors searching for weapons of mass destruction
 — hey, remember those? —  another 30 days, as France had wanted.

 Great point, Arianna.
 Bush said we didn't have another 30 days.
 We had to invade RIGHT NOW because every second counted.

 The warmongers say there was no rush to war, but Bush wanted to invade so much he was
 squirming like a little boy who had to potty.  Bush pissed off every other country in the world
 because it was SO IMPORTANT that we murder Iraq today and tomorrow couldn't wait.

 Bottom line?  He loves death.  We've never had a president who loved death so much, and this
 president (sic) loves death so much he smirks and makes jokes about people he's killed or is
 preparing to kill. It's goddamn sickening to have this man/child/monkey running the planet.

"We were very careful to avoid injuring any civilians."


"Now that the war has been won, is it permissible to suggest that our emperor has no clothes? I'm not referring
 to his abysmal stewardship of the economy but rather the fig-leaf war he donned to cover up his glaring domestic
 failures.  President Bush went to war with Hitler's Germany and found another Afghanistan instead. After comparing
 the threat of Hussein to that of the Führer, it was odd to find upon our arrival a tottering regime squatting on a
 demoralized Third World populace. Now the pressure is on for Bush to find or plant those alleged weapons of
 mass destruction fast or stand exposed as a bullying fraud..."
      --Robert Scheer, LA Times, Did Bush Deceive Us in His Rush to War?

 Goodbye, Coke. Hello, Mecca Cola
  This Boycott of U.S. Products Could Really Do Some Damage

  Click  Here

 The boycotts and the surrounding avalanche of negative publicity are a storm warning of what may lie ahead.
 Eight of the world's top 10 global brands --  Coca-Cola, Microsoft, IBM, General Electric, Intel, Disney,
 McDonald's and Marlboro -- are American, worth an estimated cumulative $337 billion. McCann-Erickson's
 message may be that they should shed their Americanness, but just like other famous American brands
 -- Starbucks, Nike, American Express, Levi's, Heinz and Kelloggs -- they are wrapped irrevocably in the
 American flag. Indeed, many have built their brand on precisely what until now has been the appeal of America,
 what Joseph Nye, dean of Harvard's Kennedy School of Government, calls American "soft power."
 As that is dissipated, so the companies concerned are put at a competitive disadvantage.

 US holding children at Guantanamo Bay 
  Is America really torturing children?

  Click  Here

 The US military has admitted that children aged 16 years and younger are among
 the detainees being interrogated at its prison camp in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

 Lieutenant Colonel Barry Johnson, a US military spokesman, said all the teenagers being held
 were "captured as active combatants against US forces", and described them as "enemy combatants".
 The children, some of whom have been held at Guantanamo for over a year, are imprisoned in separate
 cells from the adult detainees, Lt Col Johnson said. He would say only that the teenagers are "very few,
 a very small number" and would not say how old the youngest prisoner is.

 Lt Col Johnson said the juveniles were being [interrogated] because "they have
 potential to provide important information in the ongoing war on terrorism".

 So how young are the children who are being tortured in Cuba?

 Reminder: They are being held in Cuba so the American laws against torture won't apply.

New stuff at the Bart Store

                                                         'bartcop.com"  t-shirt      "Syria's Next" Chinaco mug      "Syria's Next" jersey


"I think there's been a lot of disturbing elements that so much of the intelligence
  on which the capitals built their case seems to have been shaky."
   --  Hans Blix, saying that the US and Britain used "shaky" intelligence,
       including forged documents, in an effort to prove Iraq had banned weapons

 Bush lied and got over a hundred American killed - doesn't anybody care?
 They impeached Clinton for lying about sex, and Never-Elected gets a pass
 for lying America into a war where thousands of innocent people died?

 I guess you can get away with that when you own the press.

 Today Show goes black on Tim Robbins
  Actor jerked off the air for not backing illegal war

  Click  Here

 It was at this point that something happened that has perhaps never happened before in the history of morning television.
 The music swelled under Robbins... Mid sentence answering a question that had been asked just 10 seconds earlier...
 "We have a terrible track record" said Robbins, clearly not able to hear that music was coming up to literally 'play him off the stage'.

 The camera cut to a wide shot.  Lauer was leaning in and very much in conversation.  Either Lauer was ignoring what must
 have been the deluge of invectives in his earpiece, or he just determined that he wasn't finished with this line of questioning.

 But the music ended. The bumper music ended and the studio was in the two shot as Robbins said..."It's for some reason
 not in our best interest to keep it going and pursue it to the next level." Lauer nodded, and the camera faded to black as
 Robbins - mid sentence - had his microphone turned down.

 Made for TV
  by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Reporting on a 12-year old Iraqi boy, orphaned by a U.S. bomb and hospitalized with both arms blown off,
 a CNN correspondent actually asked if he understood the purposes of  "Operation Iraqi Freedom." A Kuwaiti
 doctor tactfully responded that Ali Hamza had suffered "psychological trauma" and had no political views.

 Museums Looted?

 I can't believe I have to say this, but somebody has to....

 Report: Iraqi museums looted, loss "incalculable to history."

 Report: Military guarded oil wells, let history be stolen because Bush is stupid.

 Report: Rumors that "looters" had keys and knew exactly what they were looking for.

 Report: Bush is stupid, he let history be stolen to protect that precious oil.

 Report: The papers are full of the "We TOLD them to guard the museums!" reports.

 Report: FBI/CIA joint ops saved 90 percent of the best stuff under orders from Smirk!
             "We cannot let Iraqi freedoms result in a loss of history," Bob Woodward will quote.

 Reminder: We're all being spoon fed a script by Bush's good puppy press, the un-indicted, co-corporateers

 Gingrich: State Dept. Undermining Bush

  Click  Here

 As for Colin Powell's trip to Syria, the Republican former House leader said that
 "to meet with a terrorist-supporting, secret police- wielding dictator is ludicrous.''

              Donald Rumsfeld endorses his good friend Saddam Hussein

 Subject: Lies and Damned Lies

 Bart, Hi , and hope you all got rid of the bees.
 A bee swarm.Shit, that's just creepy.

 Anyway, I am writing because I thought you might dig this, all courtesy of Buzzflash.
 RE: DixieChix - Ray Waddell, apparently from Billboard, wrote an article about how
 DC concerts are still selling out, but he concluded with this: "The Dixie Chicks' album
 "Home" has tumbled down the charts in the weeks following singer Natalie Maines'
 declaration in London that she was ashamed to come from the same state (Texas) as Bush."

 Oh yeah? Billboard has Home at number one on the country charts, up this week
 from number two. I think Ray Waddell is filled with number two. What kind of
 idiot reporter would not consult the current chart in his own magazine?
 A lying Bush-Monkey, that's what kind.


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 Music stuff
 Putting your mark on entertainment history
(some sizzle to go with the steak)

 Got a favorite group?
 Someone you think is under-appreciated (like Garbage)?

 Send in your favorite songs on MP3 so we can have some "bumper music."
 We'll be going to (hopefully) lots of commercials and we need SMALL, 30-second MP3s
 of your favorite music.  Maybe it's Pink Floyd, maybe it's YOUR BAND, maybe it's Nat King Cole.

 ...unless you'd like to live on a steady diet of Garbage, Zeppelin and U2.

 Quick! Somebody get Rude Rich a cool cloth!

  ha ha

 I've asked Rude Rich to be the BCR music critic, because we disagree so much, and if I can't scare some
 knuckledragging, pinhead ditto-monkeys into any kind of debate, at least Rude Rich has some real opinions
 and is ready to back them up - and regardless of what I did to him a  year ago in DC using a cue stick off the wall,
 ...I don't intimidate him at all..

 So, if you have any passion for music, find some neighborhood kid to show you how to make MP3
 and then e-mail them to bartcop@bartcop.com   so we can hear them on 
 Hey, this whole BCR thing all depends on two things - you and me.
 So send me your best/favorite music (no vocals, just music) on a 30-second MP3 to 
 One of my favorites is "Plush" by the Stone Temple Pirates.
 That's a bumper song, but we might have to play that one all the way thru.

 So, in the next 6 days - that gives you until past the weekend, I expect three 30-second
 MP3s in my mailbox from each and every one of you - there can be no exceptions.

 Besides, the person who most consistently sends in the best bumper MP3s might end up working for
 the obviously monsterous money-making mega-corporation with a heart.

 Music stuff

 This is an idea not-yet completely thought out.
 Do you remember Wanda from Volume 1046?

 She wrote:

> I am a hertosexual woman aged 65+. I read Bartcop every day.
> I've never heard Shirley sing & now I'm a little afraid to play her music...but SHE is really HOT..

 So, I wrote her back and offerd to burn her a "Best of Garbage" CD.
 She liked that idea, so I burned her a "Best of Garbage."

 Once I saw it on my hard drive, I thought about erasing it, but then I thought:
"I wonder if anyone else would like to hear Bart's "Best o' Garbage," so I saved the files.

 What if we gave away a free "Best o' Garbage," CD to the next five $10 subscribers?

 There's a possible chance this is morally equivicable, so let me say this about that:
 If contacted by Shirley's legal team, I will plead guilty, pay their fine then ask what measures
 could be taked to legally promote their great band that's on almost nobody's lips.

 Hell, maybe Shirley will call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500 and tell me to knock it off!

 ha ha

 So if you;'d like to hear Bart's "Best o' Garbage," all you need to do to get your free CD is
 Click Below to become a Corona volunteer for $10 a month.

 You're going to sign up sooner or later, right?
 Why not get in now and get your free Garbage CD - it's hot stuff!

 VCR Alert

 This is an important VCR Alert, but let's get one thing straight right from the git-go.
 This information you are about to read concerning tonight "West Wing," did NOT
 come from my good friend Martin Sheen  or  my good friend Bradley Whitford

(Don't read if you want to be surprised.)

 On tonight's "West Wing," [Aaron Sorkin might read bartcop.com, but he's a much bigger 24 fan.
 Tonight, the president's daughter gets kidnapped, just like Kimberly in 24.

 And who was behind this horrible crime?
 Why - it's Chandler Bing from NBC's Friends.

 Tonight, Chandler kidnaps Zoey and then he reveals that he was the man who created SD 6.
 Then, against her will, Chandler takes Zoey back to Tulsa, Oklahoma where he somehow got a job
 with an unknown dot com entity that might be called  bartcop.com

 Norm Coleman and the other 1 percent
   by Al Franken


 No excerpt is good enough.
 You have to read the whole thing - it's that good.

 If you liked Paul Wellstone,
 if you dislike pompous, self-important, asshole-bastard gasbag sons of bitches,
 if you think kicking the recently departed is in really bad f-ing taste,
 if you're a human being who thinks decency ought to count for something,
 then  Click  Here   and watch what Al Franken does to this prick.

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Marty's E! page
Michael Dare & Disinfotainment Today
Springsteen supports the Dixie Chicks
Edward Norton doesn't trust The Chimp
'The Madness of George Dubya' features songs updated by Tom Lehrer
And, Traci Lords has written her autobiography
(Let's hope I'm not in it)


 Santorum Sets the record "Straight"
  His gay bashing was just a misunderstanding

  Click  Here

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home,
 then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest,
 you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."

"I was appointed, not elected,
so I'm taking over the world."


"In this case, what we're talking about, basically, is priests who were having sexual relations
 with post-pubescent men. We're not talking about priests with 3-year-olds, or 5-year-olds.
 We're talking about a basic homosexual relationship. Which, again, according to the world view
 sense is a a perfectly fine relationship as long as it's consensual between people. If you view
 the world that way, and you say that's fine, you would assume that you would see more of it."
    --Sen. Rick Santorum, (R-Insane),  Santorum's comments on homosexuality in an AP interview

 This idiot can't really be this crazy, is he?
 In his lust to attack gay people, he says a priest raping a nine-year old boy is "consensual?"
 The priest tells that scared little boy that "God wants this to happen, abd if you fight me you will
 go to hell for all eternity." and since the kid doesn't yet have the courage to tell the priest to take
 a f-ing hike, he submits to his attacker and when he gets older he'll go on a church burning spree
 because he can't handle a normal adult relationship due to his priestly nightmares.

 The raping priests and Rick Santorum are both Typhoid Marys of religious insanity.

 Kurt Vonnegut Interview

  Click  Here  to read this specific interview on alternet.com
  Click  Here  to read Kurt's regular, bi-weekly Q&A on inthesetimes.com

 That said, do you have any ideas for a really scary reality TV show?

 “C students from Yale.” It would stand your hair on end.

 What targets would you consider fair game for a satirist today?




"I can only hope that the sound of Laci's voice, begging for her life,
  begging for the life of her unborn child, is heard over and over and over again
  in the mind of that person every day for the rest of his life..."
     --  Sharon Rocha - mother of Laci Peterson

 Deflowering Monica or The Middle East?

  Click  Here

 Donald Rumsfeld answered, “I don't think we'll discover anything.”

Hits are way up
Prices are way down

argue with me

$80 for two ads, $300 for ten.

 They seek them here,
 They seek them there,
 Those Bushies seek those weapons,

 But, even with the dead and dying,
 those weapons
 Welcome to the new world order

 by RF

 Update: Streamboy was a big help to me and to BCR.
                       He runs a Christian hard rock internet radio station.
                       Hey, I tuned it on to check it out and I stayed for a couple of hours.

                       With BCR, things are moving much too fast - this whole BCR thing is like buying a damn house.
                       I thought BCR would take about two weeks to put together, but hell, it's gonna take two weeks
                       just to read and decipher the Sony msd-je470 owner's damn manual   For me, this is like going to flight school.
                       There's so much to learn - who has the time? I need more multiple personalities to handle stuff.

                       The good news? We have appointments to speak with DC, Seattle, Portland, San Fran and dusty old Tulsa
                       between now and Monday.   It would be cool if I had something to announce by next Tuesday

Reminder:  Once we start streaming, the download will take only seconds. It'll load the second minute
                             while you listen to the first, so these audio files are about to get a lot more convenient.

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to rant away.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for  pre-BartCop Radio.

 Did anything make you mad today?
 Are you happy with Bush and his good puppy media?

 Let's hear about it!

 Some media whore needs a slapping?  It's up to you!

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 We're closer to 

 Have you been to  thegrandoldparty.com?


"Because of the peace movement, we had the Holocaust.
  The Democratic Party is keeping the Ku Klux Klan alive,
  and if we'd listened to Southern Democrats who wanted
  peace in the Civil War, we'd still have slavery."
    -- former California GOP Party Chairman Shawn Steel, at LMU in Los Angeles,
    "Islam a 'diseased' faith, ex-GOP chief says"

 The peace movement caused the Holocaust?
 The Democrats are keeping the Republicans alive?
 Wanting peace means you are pro-slavery?
 Rush would love this guy.

 Reminder:  We keep hearing what a savage and blood-thirsty and inhuman monster Saddam was,
                              but could I direct your attention to a really, really big story from 4-5 years back?

 Some knucklehead American kid was somewhere, maybe in Thailand or Sukarto or Malaisia*
 and he was caught stealing a newspaper... (The facts may be wrong, but the story is true.)

 Anyway, the local cops arrested him and the assigned punishment for theft is "a caning."
 Actually,  "a caning," could range from an exhale to death in severity, but I assume it was real.
 There was mention of "torn flesh" and "permanant scarring" that didn't sit too well with likely-to-vote Americans.

 The way I remember it, Clinton bribed them or pressured them and they eventually let the mook go, but the point
 was he stole a damn newspaper.  "Over there,"  they rip blood from your body for stealing a damn USA Today,
 which is only worth fifty cents - on their very best days!.

 Lesson learned: They think different in different cultures.

 Saddam was a brutal dictator?
 Fine - welcome to the Middle East.

 This is a place where some parents are HAPPY to learn that their 16-year old son
 pulled a Columbine on a Haifa Pizza Hut and killed nine and wounded 35.
 ...and we won't get into "They're dying for sacred sand," today, but it's true.

 One other thing...

 When I write something like that, I want you to do me a favor:
 Don't write and say, "You've always hated the Jews," because that's stupid and untrue.
 Don't write and say, "You've always hated the Palestinians," because that's stupid and untrue.
 Don't write and say, "You've always ben too far right," because that's stupid and untrue.
 Don't write and say, "You're just carrying Bush's water for him," because that's stupid and untrue.

 Quote something that I wrote that wasn't true.

 Malaisia* ... sorry about the Jimmy Carter joke

 Be sure to subscribe while we're still not funny.
 Get in for the half-funny rate of only $5 a month.
  Click Here  to hear my killer bee story!
  It's why we had no new issue of  bartcop.com  yesterday.

 Streamboy is working with some experts on the techie stuff, my mini-disc (which will hold all the show's files}
 arrived yesterday and my limiter-compressor is shipping tomorrow, so we're closer than ever to BartCop Radio.

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 The right has a monopoly on everything but the Internet.

 Click  Here   to have your contribution matched by our silent benefactor.

 Bush believes he is leading a holy war
  Just like his old friend Osama

  Click  Here

 As he gained political power, Bush came to believe in a divine plan that supersedes all human plans.
 Richard Land, president of the Southern Baptist Convention, recalls that Bush once said,
"I believe God wants me to be president." After the World Trade Center attacks, according to
 Time magazine, the president spoke of "being chosen by the grace of God to lead at that moment."

 Religious insanity is the cause of most wars.
 I wish we could get past the silly superstitions of a thousand years ago.
 If there was a God, He wouldn't want us to remain mentally stagnant, would he?

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com


 Maybe someday Shirley will call to say "Hi!" on the Bart-Phone at 918-483-1500
 That would be cool.

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