toon from whitehouse.org
J M Marshall
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"I never met Matt Drudge, but if I see Matt
Drudge, I'm going to
take my red-blooded American foot and put it up his un-American ass
for trying to disrupt the opening of my movie."
"Drudge has been on our payroll since '95"
Rummy the Rash fired Army Secretary Thomas White, (R-Enron) whose tenure as civilian chief
of the military's largest service was marked by tensions with his boss. In testimony before a Senate
panel last July, White said repeatedly he had played no part in manipulating California energy prices
and knew nothing of Kenny Boy's plans to rape California to the tune of $500.000 in one f0inf day.
He testified with a straight face and without giggling when he claimed, doing the voice of Sgt Schultz,
"I know nuthinnnng!" even tho White worked for Enron from 1990 to 2001.
In an interview in March 2002, amid the
Enron controversy, White said he would quit his Pentagon post
should the federal investigation into Enron distract from his duties in the war on terrorism.
When you read something like that, you figure the feds might be
closing in on a crooked crook who got caught
and now he's being fired to minimize the damage that the KennyBoy-Smirk link is causing them. I mean, if this war
was the super-duper success-on-all-fronts that the good pupp media says it is, how can they afford to sack the White?
But then you remember that White is a rich, white oil executive, thus he is immune from prosecution.
"It would be a tremendous stretch to say that
I have an appreciation
for the president's knowledge of international politics."
-- Charlie Rangel
"Uppity niggers - who needs 'em?"
by Jerry Kensinger
My own obsession with Deep Throat began in college in the early eighties and it was there that I learned just how difficult a task it was
going to be to ferret out who Deep Throat actually was. This was the era of reference books, publication catalogs and microfilm.
An era of note taking, copious copying and time consuming reading Hard fought research you might say.
Armed with only my dog eared copy of “All
the President’s Men” and a healthy zeal, I began pouring through the old
microfilms of the
Washington Post. The reference librarian quickly realized what I was up to and commented “You’ll never figure it out...it’s just too
much information!”. I blew her off with a wave of my hand and continued on. But in the end, she was right; it was way too much
for any one person to tackle.
Whoever was going to crack the case would
have to do a lot more than rank speculation. They were going to have
to break down
all the information bit by bit and match it with the players. And that’s just what Professor Gaines and his students have done!
"So the surviving Iraqis get to choose their
own government, they just don't get to choose who their choices are.
So says Rummy: He's ruling out an Iran-style religious government in Iraq as well as any attempt by Syria and
others in the region to influence Iraq's future. You know, this could be a good thing for the Iraqis. Look what
happened to us when we got an unelected President who decided he was chosen by God to lead the nation."
--Roger Ailes, not the Nazi at FOX, the other Roger Ailes Election Theft 2003: Baghdad Edition
There is a web site called revoketheoscar.com
It's another right-winger who is obviously looking for a fight
so I wrote him the following e-mail
I strongly disagree with your attempts to
take from Michael Moore what he won, fair and square.
If you think people should earn what they have, don't you think the governor of Texas should
move out of President Gore's place of residence?
I have a web page too, and I can't find
ANYBODY from your side of the fence who will agree
to a friendly debate in a live chat room.
Since you obviously have strong right-leaning
fellings, would you be the person I can depend on
to have a friendly debate?
Or are you "too busy" like the other millions of conservatives who are on the Internet?
If you're unable or unwilling to accept
this offer to defend your points of view, I suggest they
may be invalid and you should probably take your page down.
Please let me know,
PS. If my page seems harsh to you, I will
be very polite in our debate.
Do you think I'll hear from the guy? He has such strong
opinions - I wonder if he can back them up?
Or is he like Rush, Hannity, FOX and the rest, hiding from the majority of Americans
who elected Gore for president? I'll let you know if I hear from him
He wrote back, refusing my invitation:
I don't do chat, I'm not
You want to debate? Use an adult medium.
Feel free to email me or to use the forums at Moorewatch.com
So, having a man-to-man debate is childish?
Is that what a tough guy says when he's afraid?
Sure, he invites me to e-mail him or post something on his I-hate-Moore
website, but that would be about
as spontaneous as playing a chess tournament by snail mail. I wonder what he's afraid of? Where is his courage?
And could somebody explain why getting an answer the same day you ask the question means you're fourteen years old?
Is that what they teach in Republican debate school? Run
away from your opponent because he might give you the red-ass?
He certainly has strong opinions - for as guy who's afraid to stand his ground and defend that untrue rot he's posting.
Why are all these loudmouths afraid to back up what they spew?
And if anyone knows of a conservative website run by someone
with the courage to debate,
send me the URL and we'll issue the same challenge to them
Why is this right-winger so afraid to stand up for his beliefs? firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Bart Radio
Just listened to "the bees" story, kinda like Hitchcock's "The Birds,"
-- you have a great speaking voice, good diction, unassuming...
What do you mean you sound like a rat?
Can't Wait. :)
I've attached a cynical (and humorous) article.
I agree with the author that neither karma nor the stupidity
of our enemies will save us. But I don't think the long-term triumph of the bad guys is as inevitable as he
claims. (Even if it's the way to bet.) I still believe that if good people would just do something instead of
rolling over like a Democrat we could defeat the rich people.
But that's a big 'if'. The average
leftie weenie can't even bring him/herself to see our 'repitilian overlords'
as the Enemy, as wicked as the slaveowners of the old South. We're in the middle of Civil War II and
the bad guys are winning -- without a fight.
Bums Will Always Lose
How to Give Up Hope - an eXile guide
by John Dolan
One of the most desperate hopes is the old radical belief that as conditions become unbearable under rightwing rule,
people will get radicalized and start to revolt. I used to believe something like this: I used to think that Americans didn’t
really care much who was in charge, as long as nobody interfered with their money. That seemed like a good way to
explain what happened to Reagan. His dirty-tricks squad was caught actually selling weapons—to Iran, the country
which hated us most!-and funneling the cash to the Nicaraguan Contras. But a strange thing happened: he got off.
The country just let him go. The only way
that made sense was that people were getting rich under Reagan, so
mind what he did on his own. He was like a degenerate stockbroker who makes his clients money; who wants to turn in
someone like that?
But if that theory really applied, America
would be rising in revolt right now, because the Bush-ites have managed
more to rob and crush the middle class than any administration in history. They’re cutting billions from Veterans’ benefits;
they’ve turned a huge surplus into a multi-trillion deficit and handed over the money to their richest friends; the market
has crashed and burned since they took power....and no one minds.
No one’s angry.
New stuff at the Bart Store
Reason for War?
The Bush administration wanted to make a statement about its determination to fight terrorism.
Officials say Saddam had all the requirements to make him the perfect target.
Saddam oppressed and tortured his own people,
had ties to terrorists and he met another requirement
- a prime location, between Syria and Iran, two countries the United States wanted to send a message to.
That message: If you collaborate with terrorists, you do so at your own peril.
Well then, ...why isn't Bush 41 in prison?
He has armed more American-killing terrorists than Russia, China and Cuba combined.
And how can anyone ever trust Bush 42 again, acting just like
his father with the double-dealing,
the lies, the perjury, the dirty tricks, the secrecy and stealing the damn Whte House in the first place?.
"Always with the bad attitude, Bart!
Just smile stupidly like us Senate Democrats."
Please visit the Common Sense for Drug Policy site
This ad paid for by a bartcop.com reader, not the CSDP website.
Chris the Screamer: Peggy, do you think we're going to [invade] another country?
It is 2003, we have a presidential election in 2004. Let's not forget it.
The administration just did something huge. It was a gamble.
They put their own life on the line. They just won. We're not going to be able
to impose a leader on Iraq. It will--a leader will have to emerge.
Exchange on Chris
the Screamer Show
What total horseshit.
Of course Bush is going to install a B.F.E.E. puppet in Iraq so they can steal that oil.
Oh, and how brave Bush was, risking his own personal safety to free that oil from it's Iraqi jailers.
George's friends are billionaires.
Our friends are unemployed!
George's friends wear Armanis.
Our friends wear body bags.
George's friends send their children
to private schools.
Our friends' kids get "left behind".
George's friends get government contracts
worth billions without having to bid for them.
Our friends are told to work overtime without pay.
George's friends get big oil leases.
Our friends get evicted.
George's friends have billions in Swiss
bank accounts and off-shore tax dodges.
Our friends keep a few extra $20s hidden in their sock drawer.
George's friends told us whoppers about
the WMD they knew didn't exist in Iraq
even though they made billions selling them to Iraq in the first place.
Our friends tell the truth and get thrown in jail for "protesting".
George's friends commit incredible tax
frauds and never get audited.
Our friends fudge a little on their income tax to save a few pennies and get full court press audits -- immediately!
George's friends eat at five-star restaurants.
Our friends think that eating out at Burger King is a big treat.
George's friends can bomb half the world
without fear of retaliation because they have their own private bomb shelters.
Our friends have nowhere to hide.
George's friends have voting machines
and control of the courts and ownership of the media.
Our friends just have memories.
America deserves better.
Calls Warmonger Murdoch 'Warmonger'
But the truth is no longer acceptable in the news
"He's a warmonger," Turner said of Murdoch in a speech in San Francisco.
"He promoted [this war]."
Friends, we're going to have a little talk...
(That was my Laura the Harpy impession.)
But seriously (homage to Bob Hope), as we rapidly approach the
premier of BartCop Radio,
the get-in-for-cheaper snail mail has reached a volume that up with which I cannot keep.
Even trying to escape minimum wage, getting paid in small bills, with a short "Thank you,"
reply to each one, is taking up more time as The Premier is demanding more more time, still
I'm writing this on Grey Goose.
Sometimes, if I can't figure a problem out sober, I look at it from a different angle.
What I'm trying to say is the funded-by-dozens nature of
this radio project means I would appreciate a
"Reply Requested" written in your letter if you need some stickers or if you need to hear back from me.
I know it's rude, but what can I do?
Hire a secretary?
Not publish on "Thank you, snail mail," Mondays?
None of those options sound any better than the rude thing.
If you have a suggestion, Ol' Bart, because I can't figure it out on my own.
Lack of time has been my biggest enemy for a while, and with the
mail/bookkeeping getting heavier,
the page upkeep and radio prep are banging heads more than ever. They said Dave probably got shingles
from too much stress and "shingles" sounds like something the Glock can't kill so I'm afraid of it.
Hey, I know, I could read some letters on the air!
That way, you'd know I got it, and it would provide much-needed content for the early shows.
The Goose worked.
Thanks to the French for making Grey Goose, the finest vodka in the world.
So if you can't put funny stories & stuff on an MP3, write
it down and mail it to bartcop.com
PO Box 54466 (Optional) Tulsa, OK 74155
Ex-CIAs: Weapons of Mass Distraction? Where? Find? Plant?
Administration leaders will not soon forgive Blix or the Director of the International Atomic Energy Agency,
for exposing to ridicule the two main pieces of “evidence” adduced by Washington late last year to support its
contention that Iraq had reconstituted its nuclear weapons development program: (1) the forged documents
purporting to show that Iraq was trying to obtain uranium from Niger, and (2) the high strength aluminum rods
sought by Iraq that the US insisted were to be used in a nuclear application. That contention was roundly
debunked not only by IAEA scientists but also by the international engineering community.
The media have raised the possibility that
the US might “plant” weapons of mass destruction in Iraq,
and that this may be another reason to keep UN inspectors out.
We need your 30-second MP3s for "bumper
music," and vocals are now allowed.
I talked to my legal team, Payne & Supheren, and they said there's no reason why we
can't have some vocals, too, so that might help when you send your favorite songs in.
Remember, we only need 30 seconds.
(If you send a 35-second clip, that's OK.
Just don't send Ina-Godda-Da-Vida.
E-mail them to email@example.com so we can hear them on
Attn: US Central Command
Reports show that some American soldiers
maraud in Iraq, which will have a negative effect
on the army's morale and fighting capacities. Also, this discredits the democracy in the eyes
of native population. I believe this practice should be immediately stopped.
Der Voron, writer
Funk Brothers still getting little respect
Yesterday was Anzac Day
Metallica doing 4 free concerts in San Francisco
Robert Conrad (R-Arrogant) faces DWI charges
The mill from 'Norma Rae' to close
Arrests in the news
The nickel is getting a face lift
And a whale got a traditional funeral
Mark Del Castillo came into my guitar shop
yesterday, and I told him you said "hi" to the band.
I only know Mark, one of the two brothers.) He remembered you, I mentioned that you gave them
a positive write-up on the page last week, he was happy to hear it. I moved to Austin last October,
and only discovered Del Castillo last March. I was surprised you heard of 'em, but they KICK MAJOR BUTT.
They're like a pair of dual-leading metal players on classical guitars. Mindbending.
Tristan in Austin
from the Del Castillo webpage http://www.delcastillomusic.com/
Tristan, when Rick's old band Akasha played my Hard
Rock Island, he was doing Metallica,
Motley Crue, Zeppelin, ...you should hear his Comfortably Numb. (You will - soon.)
At this year's SXSW, Del Castillo was voted:
- Band of the Year -
- Album of the Year - "Vida" -
- Single of the Year - "Vida" -
- Best Cover Art - Vida -
- Producer of the Year - Rick del Castillo
- Best Drummer - Mike Zeoli -
- Best Mexican / Traditional Band -
Sounds like a landslide to me.
Right now, I'm going to their web site to order their new CD "Vida"
We'll play some on the new radio show.
"You know I'd never write a hateful tell-all."
- Sharon Bush, ex-wife of Kneel Bush, letting us know that there is
a juicy, tell-all book, but she prefers to stay alive so she's not writing it.
I wonder if she was there that night when
the Smirk drove home drunker than shit,
plowed into the Bush's trash cans, and then tried to kick his daddy's ass?
That's a true story, Kay.
it on the alt.fan.U2 newsgroup
This was in response to some monkey screaming for a boycott of the French.
Who would've thought there was a ditto-monkey contingent in the U2 fan base?
Thank gawd halliburton got the very 1st
contract for 7 billion without offering a chance
to public businesses like a 'good' government should.
Damn french with their democratically elected
government with leaders
who are listening to the majority opinion of the people. Oh, the horror!
If the US would have boycotted IRAQ oil first we would not be in the problem.
I buy japanese cars, indonesian shoes, taiwanese
computers and canadian bacon.
I really don't need american goods, but the pompous rich in the US need french wine to bathe their ego in.
Along with BMW's and Mercedes. The same people who want to pay less taxes and drive SUV's.
As for the museums that are being pilleged.
Think of it like this:
The baseball hall of fame, smithsonian, and the grand ole opry being destroyed.
But multiply that by 10 times.
Today is April 27th - does that ring a bell?
A year ago, 200 of us met at James Carville's restaurant in Washington DC.
It was one of the best nights ever.
I remember it well because I was sober the whole night.
Smokin' Joe, James and Julie
Click Hea to read the report of that magic night.
Hea to hear something you've never heard before.
This is from the Juliefest video outtakes (All praise to Kent Bye)
It's my old friend (permission not yet granted) talking to Kent Bye.
In the background, you hear the last-two-shots-of-Chinaco auction.
You wouldn't believe these outtakes.
You also wouldn't believe hholli1.
Hits are way up
Prices are way down
argue with me
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