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Friday   June 27, 2003 


"Have you heard about the newest political party? You probably saw them, and mistook them for someone else.
  They are called The Invertebrates. Their symbol is the jellyfish. Dozens of Democrats, especially the leadership,
  have defected to the Invertebrate Party. Their “I sorta kinda disagree with W” squishiness has made possible
  the triumph of the fanatical. Their opposition to the agressive rightwing is so spineless, so timid, and so lacking
  in confidence, it can only be described as cowardly."
    --Cheri Delbrocco,  Squishy Soft Democrats

  Sounds like something you could've read on  bartcop.com  two years ago

 White House bogart's Medicare Memo 
  Bush hides the facts behind his health care swindle

  Click  Here

 The Bush administration's top Medicare accountant has calculated how millions
 of senior citizens would be affected by bringing private managed care into the
 program, but the administration won't release the information.

 More smoke and mirrors from the biggest thieves of all time.
 They've stolen $11 trillion that we know of.
 They're selling retirees down the river for HMO contributions.

 The press doesn't care, and the Democrats are still undead.

"Old people are just going to die, anyway. What's the problem?"


"There'll be more niggaz."
   -- Snoop Dogg, to Entertainment Weekly when they asked how his
      new movie "Soul Plane," would be different from the original "Airplane."

 That Snoop, he's the shizzle...

 Smirk re-elect numbers fall to 40%

  Click Here

 The media keeps portraying Bush as "popular," but political pros know that any incumbent whose "re-elect" number
 is below 50% is in deep doo-doo. According to the latest Ipsos-Reid poll, Bush's "re-elect" is now at 40%, only 2%
 above his lowest-ever rating of 38% - despite "winning" two wars and strutting his "stuff" [puke!] across the deck
 of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln. Meanwhile 32% will "definitely vote for someone else," and 26% will "consider
 someone else."

 If Bush was an ordinary Senator with dismal poll numbers like these, the pundits would be calling him "endangered"
 - or, more accurately, "dead meat." Of course, the corporate media knows this, so they are trying to switch the election
 handicapping game from popularity to campaign cash, since Bush is busy pumping it by the oil barrel. But Karl Rove
 should study the lyrics of the old Beatles tune - "I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love."

 Larry by the Sea

 Subject: shock radio for the left?


 Al Gore's attempt to put "Shock Jocks from the left" on the radio may have some issues
 with the average American.  Right now, ditto monkeys believe in the rightious indignation
 portrayed by so many of the radio and TV political commentary, that belief may also exist
 within those who only listen now and then, but have no ability to form their own opinions.

 Now with the forcing of left radio, it will be far too easy for these guys to discount the anger
 and frustration by those "Shock Jocks from the left" as nothing more than political acting.

 What do you think?

 Jay in Boise

 I think if a lefty talk show host came along who didn't lie all the time, took calls from all sides,
 and told the truth, it could be lots of fun and very entertaining to listen to - and profitable.
 Remember, the Democrats won the last three presidential popular votes.
 It's just a falsehood that the majority won't listen to the radio.


 "There are two things we cannot find: weapons of mass destruction and jobs."
     -- Rev. Jesse Jackson,  the 32nd annual Rainbow/PUSH Coalition conference,

 I'm mailing a bunch of stickers out today.

 You can get  bartcop.com  stickers free.
 Send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 6-74155

 Donations accepted, but not required.

 Crooked court rules sodomy is OK

  Click  Here

 In a big victory for homosexuals - and anyone who expects a little privacy in the bedroom
 - the Supreme Court yesterday struck down all laws against sodomy.
 The unexpectedly sweeping decision threatens many laws that seek to govern sexual practices
 for gays and straights alike. It also could pave the way to legal gay marriage.

 The invasion of privacy has always been a GOP staple.  Look for their 2004 convention to be all about,
"Bush's federal government needs to know what you're doing in your bedroom at all times."

Poindexter and I and Team Bush will be watching you...

 Voter remorse and Gray Davis
    by Wiliam Safire (R-Congenital Liar - sometimes)

  Click  Here

"Is "recall" of a leader - elected by a majority for a fixed term but supported only by a minority - a good idea?
 Or should voters stare decisively at election returns and wait for retribution on a regular schedule?

 Really - why bother to vote?

 The Diebold machines will record your vote for Bush, and if a Democrat somehow wins,
 the GOP will collect signatures to recall him - because the Democrats refuse to fight back.


"This is how it is in the United States these days, massive tax cuts for the very wealthy at the same time
  that the poor and working classes are being clobbered by reduced services and myriad tax increases of
  one kind or another. For the students at CUNY, who have traditionally come from poorer backgrounds,
  a tuition hike — in this case $800 a year — is the equivalent of a tax increase. And it can be devastating...
  So it's too bad, kids, but this is the new American reality. You'd be getting a windfall if you were one of
  the high rollers at Bechtel or Halliburton. The game is rigged in their favor. But all you want to do is get
  a decent education so you can make something of yourself. We can't help you with that."
     --Bob Herbert,  Tax Cut Casualties

 ...and while Bush rapes America and loots the Treasury, he has high approval numbers
  because the Democrats are too afraid to yell, "Stop, you bastard!"

 Back to Basics
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

...Republicans charged that Clinton bombed suspected Iraqi WMD sites to distract
 the public from his Oval Office sex antics, as if THAT were possible. But it's beginning
 to look as if economic sanctions, UNSCOM inspectors and cruise missiles may have
 done the job. (Actually, some defectors, including Saddam's son-in-law, whom he had
 murdered, claimed the Iraqi dictator had the forbidden weapons destroyed after the
 Gulf War, which admittedly begs the question of why he refused to prove it.)

 Bad drivers right lane
    by multiple award-winning Christian Livemore

  Click  Here

 Georgians are a graceful people. We — (And I count myself among this group so that
 later when I say less kind things I can include myself in that, too. And also to have the
 good stuff on record for possible use by the person who introduces me when I accept
 my Nobel Peace Prize.) — We are warm, pleasant-spirited, gently funny and patient people.

 We are not, however, good drivers. (Bless our hearts).
 You know who you are.

Click to visit our new sponsor - WorriedShrimp.com

 Is there anything left that matters?
   Nuns against the Unelected Liar

  Click  Here

 First, they said they wanted Bin Laden "dead or alive." But they didn't get him.
 So now they tell us that it doesn't matter. Our mission is greater than one man.

 Then they said they wanted Saddam Hussein, "dead or alive." He's apparently alive
 but we haven't got him yet, either. However, President Bush told reporters recently,
"It doesn't matter. Our mission is greater than one man."

 Finally, they told us that we were invading Iraq to destroy their weapons of mass destruction.
 Now they say those weapons probably don't exist. Maybe never existed. Apparently that doesn't matter either.

 Except that it does matter.
 It matters to Ali, the Iraqi boy who lost his family and both his arms in a U.S. air attack.

 Why did you do this to me, Mister Bush?


"When Bush donned his coronation clothes and landed on the deck of the Abraham Lincoln,
  I felt like the skunk at the victory party. I went around asking the partygoers: Where were the WMD?
 What bothered me wasn't just whether we'd find the weapons we were warned about with such terrifying,
  repetitive certainty. The question was whether it would matter. Would the American people care if
  they'd been conned into conflict?...The real lie is that the administration didn't (dare?) make its
  essential case for war. And the real shame is not that we were conned but that, so far, we don't mind...
 The famous flight suit may end up at the Smithsonian as the emperor's new clothes."
     --Ellen Goodman,   An American empire built on deception

 Subject: Peak Oil

 Bart, Jonny Fingers here, from scenic New Jersey:

 A minor correction:  The point of peak oil is that we are running out of oil, but more particularly,
 that there is a finite amount of it,  and once you have extracted more than half of it, feces begins
 to strike rotary oscillator.

 Naturally, you go for the cheap stuff first (does not apply to tequila, I am aware) and the problem is
 then that supply will naturally start dwindling, raising prices, but also extraction costs per barrel will
 start rising--as your Texas/Oklahoma input illustrates.  This puts you on a curve of exponentially
 increasing costs, which run off the top of the page as you approach zero oil remaining.

 It's not the running out of oil so much as the process of gradually running out.

 Jonny, we have plenty of $40 oil - more then we could ever use in our lifetime.
 But Middle East oil is so clean and cheap (except for the lives lost) that we can't
 afford to drill the $40 oil.   Trust me, I know dozens of former oilfield workers.
 They work at Wal-Mart now because there's no longer any use for their skills.

 I've been awash with fresh Bixby corn, and the best is still to come.

 You get there at 8 AM in the morning, and you see the loaded-down pickups pull into the parking lot.
 They're giving this stuff away, about 30 cents an ear.
 That's like 50 cents a shot for some fine Chinaco Anejo.

"Temptation" is the first strain in, and it's beautiful.
 It's about 20 percent white corn, about 80 percent yellow.

 It's real damn good, and it'll only get better.
 This first crop out is always a test, but the big guns come in around July 1.

 The Merit and the Silver King are coming.
 Last year, it was Merit and Silver Queen.
 They found a way to bring sex into luxury corn.
 This silver is the Chinaco anejo of luxury Bixby corn.

 After those Silver King ears catch a few weeks of 104 degree, late June, Oklahoma afternoons,
 - that brings out the very best flavors in God's best maze.  The big harvest is coming.

 When I eat corn on the cob, especially after 46 weeks without any,
 as I finish, someone always mentions that I look like Sonny on the Causeway.
 I use that same joke every year...

 Dueling Quotes

"I do not steal."
  --Republican Rep. Darrell Issa, second-term San Diego area congressman, the driving force behind
     the effort to un-elect Gray Davis  Rep. Issa was charged in San Jose auto theft

"I am not a crook.”
   --Richard M. Nixon, the most crooked man ever in the White House until 1981

 The Corbomite Maneuver

   Click  Here

 The Corbomite Maneuver presented the first mention of Poker in the classic Star Trek series.
 Though not used much in the Classic Trek series, the age-old card game would become a regular staple
 for episodes of The Next Generation. The bluff and ploy, Kirk used to win his "hand" in this episode,
 The Corbomite Maneuver, would be used again in the mid-second season episode, The Deadly Years.

 "Not chess, Mr Spock  ...poker!"

 The World Poker Tour was really wild last night on The Travel Channel.
 In the second hand we saw, a guy won $513,000 with a pair of twos.

 ...a pair of twos.

 Even if you don't play poker, you know a pair of twos blows, but it won a big hand last night.
 Then, it rained and the satellite shut off for an hour.
 When the signal came back on, the "Tiger Woods of poker" was gone.

 I got to see the ending, but it would've been fun to see the whole thing.

 ...and we're still looking for Hold 'em Poker players.


 Subject: spike and agreeing with reich wing sheep

 You said:

 I hate to agree with right-winger (and former funnyman) Kelsey Grammer,
 but he's right when he says Spike Lee is crazy to sue Spike TV for stealing his name.

 Wow, you are wrong on that one.
 If Mr. Spike wants to keep the integrity of his name, and the BRANDING that comes with it
(by branding i mean the advertising usage, not the physical branding, like cows) then he needs
 to sue EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING  that threatens it.
 Thems the rules.


 You'd be totally correct if Spike owned that word.
 I'm sure he'll lose on common sense grounds.

 You failed to address the key point:    "Spike" was around long before Spike Lee.
 If TNN tried to be "The Snopp Dogg Channel," then Snoop would have the rights
 you suggest to protect his name. But "spike" was a noun and a verb decades before Spike was born.

 How could you miss that point?

 I believe Spike put up $2.5M to give to TNN if he loses this fight.
 I sure wouldn't want a piece of that bet. Spike's going to lose that money.


"I find it strange that a pro-life politician like George Bush is planning to kill as many
  Iraqi children as he can in the name of oil or whatever it is that's really on the agenda."
       -Bill Blaikie, Manitoba Member of Parliament,

 ...and for some goddamned reason, the churches are behind Bush's insane murder spree.
 You can't trust the churches.  They can be bought like the media and crack whores.

 FLASH (secret US Gov't Doc. exposed)

  Click  Here

 Mission Scope:  Island populated by 279,384 (July 2002 est.) people.
 Required forces to invade Greenland (85,000 troops est.)

 Mission Duration:  6.5 years

 Mission Cost:   should be three times $25.billion

 Hey Bart,

 You wrote:

> They say Gore would've been president if not for the gun issue.

 You seem to be forgetting your previous lies now:
 It was Ralph Nader and the Green Party that stole the election from Gore.

 Best regards,

 There was no lie to forget.
 Nader's ego gave Bush the votes to get close enough to steal it.
 If Gore was less anti-gun, they say he would've won.
 If Gore had listened to me, he would've won.
 If Jews hadn't suddenly come out for Buchanan, Gore would've won.
 If Gore's brother was governor of Florida, he would've won.
 If Gore had taken his home state, he would've won.
 If they had counted the votes, Gore would've won.
 If Gore had insisted on real debates, he would've won.
 If the media had told the truth during the campaign, Gore would've won.
 If Gore had allowed Clinton to help him, he would've won.
 If the Democrats had been 1/3 as aggressive as these guys, he would've won

 There was no lie to forget.


"Ass kissing has gone on to a profound degree. It's pervasive throughout all these news organisations.
  They need the FCC to behave in certain ways. In order to do this we have got to go along to get along,.
  ...the FCC's decision to relax media ownership rules came shortly after the end of the war. Any reporter
  who would see that quid pro quo in any other business says: 'No, that doesn't happen in the news business'."
   --Michael Wolff,   US TV networks 'kissed ass' 

 So true, and so sad.
 It's one thing to constantly call Gore a serial liar, and constantly report that Bush is an intelligent, qualified candidate,
 but to scream, "This war must be fought to protect America," when they knew it wasn't true is a f-ing crime.
 I'd like to see 80 percent of the American media in jail for helping Dim Son murder Baghdad.

 Bush in a box
    by James Higdon

  Click  Here

 Suppose that we grant the administration all of that.  We will stipulate that Saddam had
 unknown quantities of nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons.  We can go even further
 and say that he even possessed photon torpedoes, fasers, Green Goblin suits with gliders,
 and formulas for turning the dead into zombie combatants, all of which could be readied
 for combat on 45 minutes notice.  And we certainly have no choice but to keep those
 weapons out of the hands of those who would willingly attack us and who "hate our freedoms.":

 Klitschko should sue the "referee" by law
  Click  Here

 I believe Vitali Klitschko needs to sue by law the "referee" who voluntarily stopped his fight with Lewis,
 in which Vitali lead on points, despite of his face cuts, and to obtain via court the decision to finish the
 remaining 6 rounds of this match with a compensation for the referee's voluntary actions.

 I didn't see the fight.
 I'll try to catch a rerun, but every account I read said Lewis was looking all of his 37 years that night.

 Subject: An Ann Coulter Moment

 Yo BC,

 Here's an exchange from my job last night (I work at a large, not-to-be-named bookstore):

 Guy:  [Breathless with anticipation] I heard the new Ann Coulter book came out today!  Do you have it?
 Me: [Checking the computer with my usual efficiency] Yes, we should have several copies.
 Guy: I looked around but couldn't find it.  Can you help me?
 Me: Of course, sir.

 So we go looking around.  It is on a cart that had yet to be shelved. I pull it off and hand him the copy.
 He looks at the cover, checking for a sale sticker.

 Guy: Is it on sale?  It was on sale on your web site.
 Me:  No sir it isn't.  Our web site is actually run by a different company, and they set their own prices.
          We don't have any control over their offers.
 Guy: Oh, ok [ he pauses, looking at the book cover, thinking it over].
 Me: Come on...Coulter's a big-time conservative, she'd WANT you to pay full price for it.
 Guy: [smiling and laughing] Hey, I'm not that big a conservative.
          Have a good night [walks out without buying book].

 Now, to be fair, I never screw with anyone at work, but this was a young guy, around my age,
 he seemed pretty cool, and he seemed to have a good sense of humor.  Which, it turned out, he did.
 And I did try to sell it to him...

 But as for Ann trouncing Hillary on the sales chart:
 Copies of Living History sold at my store in the 1st 24 hours after initial release: 85
 Copies of Treason sold at my store in the 1st 24 hours after initial release: 2
 Also keep in mind...my store is in the South, the cradle of the confederacy where
 hating Hillary and the Dems is an accepted lifestyle choice.

  Robert  E

 The Litmus Test On Racial Diversity
  by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 The misuse of racial politics for cynical court-packing is an old story, dating back to 1991, when the
 previous President Bush nominated Clarence Thomas to the top bench. Everyone understood that
 Mr. Thomas, a figure of no great distinction, had been hand-picked due to a happy coincidence of
 skin color and political coloration.  Although he had benefited from affirmative action throughout his
 career, Mr. Thomas had since displayed his eagerness to deprive others of the means by which
 he had advanced.

 At the time, columnist George Will confessed: "Trashing the truth is now so natural in Washington
 that there were only worldly smirks and shrugs when George Bush began the Thomas saga by
 saying two things he and everyone else knows are untrue—that Thomas is the person best-qualified
 for the Supreme Court, and that his race was irrelevant to his selection."

 George Will told the truth?
 Jesus, I'm older than I thought.

Handjob for sale

 Musings from the Outland
    by Richard L. Fricker

  Click  Here

 Well, what shall we talk about, the six British troops killed in Iraq or the one American,
 bringing our total to 19 since the war was declared “over” by fearless leader. How about
 the road map to peace, you know the one Ariel Sharon shoots in the ass at every opportunity….
 I guess George isn’t folding the laundry fast enough.

 Subject: hits

 Just wanted to share this picture of my webhits to
 give you some idea what one of your links is worth.



 Not only are  bartcop.com  readers the smartest, they are the most handsome, too.

Click to Enter


"How big a dick do you have to be, for Osama to refuse to work with you?"
   -- Jon Stewart, on the report that Osama refused to work with Saddam

 Burned Iraqi Children Turned Away

  Click Here

"On a scorching afternoon, while on duty at an Army airfield, Sgt. David J. Borell was approached
 by an Iraqi who pleaded for help for his three children, burned when they set fire to a bag containing
 explosive powder left over from the war.

 Borell immediately called for assistance. But the two Army doctors who arrived about an hour later refused
 to help the children because their injuries were not life-threatening and had not been inflicted by U.S. troops.

 Now the two girls and a boy are covered with scabs and the boy cannot use his right leg.
 And Borell is shattered.

"I have never seen in almost 14 years of Army experience anything that callous," said Borell,
 who recounted the June 13 incident to The Associated Press.

"Screw those kids. We have to save money to give my friends another tax cut."

Our first ever "must have" store stuff.

Deficit mugs and shirts!
Give to your snotty GOP brother in law.
Prove what a genius Clinton was.
Make your ditto-head friend feel some shame!

Click to own

Marty's E! page
JFK, 'I Am A Jelly Doughnut' & Berliners
Links to the network fall schedules
Fresh BAGnews
BBC-America rocks tonight.  First, it's  'Coupling'.  Then it's 'The League of Gentlemen',
where Monty Python meets Twin Peaks.  Capping it is 'Graham Norton' -
a chat show with a campy host who inspires Dustin Hoffman to tell a joke that set off the
                      censors  (the infamous 'c-word').  Because they're British & rational, the word stayed in.
'NOW With Bill Moyers' on PBS
'Monk' on USA
Robbie Robertson (& others) honored in Canada
Bono's getting death threats
(No surprise there - he's a liberal)
Robert Cray takes protest music to the blues
The Judy Garland Museum
Glastonbury outdoor music festival happens  this weekend
Michael Powell has: "the only job in Washington my dad thinks is harder than his."
Pete Townshend speaks.
Sharon Osbourne takes blame for Jack's problems
Hindu's celebrate re-conversions
Steve Wynn to start naming things after himself
Some bad boys
And, a Griffon vulture


 Subject: bartcop.net is looking for the REDASS!

 Hey BC,

 I ran into www.bartcop.net while looking at the alexas.com link in your June 26 issue.
 You have succeeded in getting a anti-bartcop mirror-congratulations!

 I think you should lay waste to this guy and see if he will actually stand up for his BS.
 His heroes include the usual suspects: Rush, Ron, and John Wayne
 (Huh, how could he not like W more than John Wayne?).

 Anyway, The Bird, as the author of the site refers to himself, is a sad man in desperate need of the redass.


 That poor bastard - he's a child in a grownup's world
 We had a debate once, it's in the back issues.

 During the mauling, he called Clinton a crook.
 I asked him how Clinton's crookedness compared to Bush the smarter,
 since Bush had to pardon Reagan's cabinet to bury the global crimes of Iran Contra.

 His reply?

"Pardons? What pardons? Bush never pardoned anyone! Liar!"

 It's hard to debate someone who doesn't know eight years of history.

 I received a t-shirt in the PO Box from Melinda.

 It shows a picture of John Fund behind bars and he's saying,
"I'm John Fund. I beat women. Got any?"

 ha ha

Fight back with BartCop Radio

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 Subject: Margaret Carlson

 I think you hit on it the other day. Marg is still very bitter at her divorce...hence when she
 looks at Bill Clinton or any other Dem now, she sees the "bastard" who told her he loved her...
 but ended up schtuping the babysitter. Nothing like remaining objective.

 In other words, she's lost her ability to be a professional?

 Or maybe she just turned whore for the money...

 Call the 

You have two minutes to rant away.


"Even though WMD, Saddam and bin Laden have not been found, Democrats fear being called unpatriotic
  and unAmerican for speaking out about the wrongheaded and arrogant way pre-emptive invasion has been
  carried out without the support of the American public and the world. And on it goes. The majority of the
  American people agree with the Democrats on protecting the environment, safeguarding Social Security,
  improving the quality of education, and providing greater access to affordable health care. They agree that
  corporate criminals must be prosecuted and that corporations must start ponying up their share of taxes
  instead of being given “corporate welfare”. All of this makes the inability by Democrats to provide
  alternatives and opposition to the Bush administration even more infuriating. And shameful."
       --Cheri Delbrocco,  Squishy Soft Democrats

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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