POLITICS - SARCASM -
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J M Marshall
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"I'll be carrying a message to the African
people that, first, America cares about the future of Africa.
It's in our national interests that Africa become a prosperous place. It's in our interest that people
will continue to fight terror together. It's in our interest that when we find suffering, we deal with it."
-- lying SOB, Attribution
This lying SOB steals $11 trillion from
the Treasury, but he feels so much compassion for
a continent dying of AIDS, he throws then a $15B scrap of his plate to impress the sheep.
to bribe his rich CEO friends
$15,000,000,000 to the "darkies" he'd just as soon died, anyway
"I'm courting the nigger vote..."
An CIA envoy contends the Bush administration manipulated his findings, possibly to strengthen the rationale for war.
Joseph Wilson, former ambassador to Gabon, was dispatched in 2002 to explore whether Iraq tried to buy uranium
from Niger. That desert country is the world's third-largest producer of mined uranium.
Writing in the disreputable New York Times,
Wilson said it did not take him long "to conclude that it was highly
doubtful that any such transaction had ever taken place." On "Meet the Whore," Wilson insisted his doubts about
the Niger connection did reach Dick Cheney's office.
This is hardly news.
We've known for months that Smirk n Snal waged a fake war to steal Saddam's oil.
The question is - does the press give these killersd another pass?
Or will they be held accountable for their crimes while still in office?
Hold on, it gets worse - for the Democrats...
Discussing Wilson's comments, several lawmakers
expressed misgivings as they made
the rounds of Sunday's television talk shows about what transpired.
One of them — Sen. Jay Rockefeller of West
Virginia, top Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee
— said that it goes to the question of, "was there an abuse in intelligence, ...or was the intelligence wrong?"
Ain't that a bitch?
A whistleblower comes forth and says, "They knew for sure, because I f-ing told them,"
and Democrats are desparately looking for a way to spin this to give Bush and Cheney a way out.
What the hell is wrong with our
Why don't want to win?
We want to lose so badly,
we're adding points
to the other guy's score to be sure he wins?
Paul Redmond angered many House members at a hearing when he testified that his
newly established office has not hired enough analysts or set up enough secure
communications lines to receive classified FBI and CIA data for analysis purposes.
A department spokesman said Redmond's resignation
was "totally unrelated" to his June 5
testimony before the House Select Committee on Homeland Security, which congressional
sources described as a major setback for the agency's relations with Congress.
We are borrowing money so Bush can give it to the super-rich,
but Bush refuses to fund Homeland Security, for whatever reasons Rove gave him,
and the Democrats continue to remain silent while the country prepares to burn?
Where were the skeptics?
The Bush administration has been taking heavy flak for its yet-unproved claims of Saddam's WMD.
In fixing blame for the way the public appears to have been sold a bill of goods, don't overlook the part
played by the media. Instead of closely questioning the administration's case, newspaper editorialists
basically nodded in agreement.
Gee, this guy is onto something.
It would appear, to the casual observer, that the media might be in on the B.F.E.E.'s scam?
Gosh, in a few months, this big-time Texas newspaper might be up to bartcop.com Volume 900.
slow to fund USS Reagan
40th president kicked aside for 'war hero' Dubya
"...the Gipper's legend is finding it hard to compete for cash.
As normally occurs with a carrier about
to join the Navy fleet, the Navy League
has been working on the funding for the quality of life improvements. The league's
Santa Barbara council adopted the ship June 16, 2000.
The council set an ambitious goal of raising
$5 million for enhancements. But Council
president Connie O'Shaughnessy-Los says the league has raised less than $2 million range.
Remember during the 2000 campaign, each Republican stood there
like a tool and swore,
"I'm more like Reagan than the other men on this stage," as tho that were a good thing.
Three years of bungling wars and killing the economy later, Dubya is now the new GOP icon,
and Reagan is just thrown out like yesterday's trash as he draws closer to his death in Californioa.
Ronald Reagan was nothing compared to the young Bush boy.
Why, Reagan was such a wimp,
he never even thought about world domination, much less accomplished it like Bush has done.
And all it cost us was $11 trillion dollars, the friendship of our allies, our priciples, ...and ...what else?
Oh, I remember - the Constitution of the United States and the lives of 200 (and counting) brave men.
"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where
I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world,
race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any
highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it."
--Stupid, even for a pinhead http://www.dubyaspeak.com/freshdubya.shtml
"It doesn't help matters that Dean speaks off the cuff; out of hundreds of campaign speeches he has
delivered, only four were written in advance. The rest were ad-libbed."
--Evelyn Nieves, talking about Howard Dean, who's smart, even for a doctor Attribution
your 2004 vote be counted?
Rep. Rush Holt Introduces Legislation to Require All Voting
Machines To Produce A Voter-Verified Paper Trail
The Democrats will never support this bill
or allow it to become law.
You see, that would make it harder for Bush & Rove to steal the election.
Subject: Why don't we care about the WMD?
The answer is sooooo simple...the media
is just another branch of the Federal Government, servicing
this demented Administration like a hooker going down on a John in Las Vegas. If Bush's flirtations
with the truth were being hammered in the press as frequently as those of "Liar, Liar" Gore, or tracked
as carefully as every erection Clinton ever had, we'd be watching Impeachment hearings on CNN
instead of Nancy Grace foaming at the mouth over Scott Peterson.
Forget terrorists poisoning our water supplies.
These guys have replaced our drinking water with Kool Aid.
Sooner or later, we can only hope it will leave a bitter taste......
Never in American history has one man had total and complete power.
And this partucliar "man" is a snot-nozed, spolied little boy who enevr heard the word "No," growing up.
He's allowed to throw whatever tantrum he wants and he's allowed to kill any person, group or country
that his oil-filled heart sets its eyes on. ...as long as he doesn't have sex, they'll let him kill who he wants.
Why do you insist on forgetting the 17 dead on the USS Cole!!!...during 'Clinton's watch'.
To continue to ignore them in your 'Truth about Somalia' bullshit is to dishonor them.
Have a nice day...
I insist on forgetting nobody.
Reagan ordered those men in Lebanon to be exposed to truck bombs over the objections of the Joint Chiefs.
That's his screw up.
Bush had April Glaspie tell Saddam he could take
Kuwait and get no grief from America.
That's his screw up.
Bush the Stupid lied about Iraq's WMD and got 200 brave
men killed, so far.
That's one of his many lies and screwups.
Now, you're accusing Clinton of not personally babying a war ship?
If Clinton ordered the Cole into that port, and the Cole's commander
"But Sir, it's not safe! We could lose lives if that order is carried out," and Clinton demanded
that the Cole dock in that unsafe port in Yemen, over the objections of his military advisors,
then I'd say we should hold hearings and force Clinton to explain himself.
Go climb a tree...
"Trust me - I won't rob the Treasury!"
"The next time we go to war, don't give a specific
reason for the war that
the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it.
Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club."
--Dennis Miller, Bush's best cheerleader, saying, "Screw those dead Iraqi kids"
"What's wrong with saying that?"
Hey Dennis, if the reason we sent 200 brave Americans to their
we've got nothing with which to flog you with it ad naseum - right?
You will just die (laughing that is) if you
Just to let you know, the members web site
seems to be broken...
a lot of words are missing, and some links aren't acting like links...
The regular "bartcop.com" portion
of the site appears normal to me.
Even still, it might be me (another site I visit that uses Java is a little broke also...) .
Keep up the good work!
Dave, what you're seeing is tomorrow's page under construction.
In an attempt to minimize keystrokes and mouse clicks, I keep
a word from each headline,
as well as the "Click Here" and the "Excerpt:" to save wear & tear on my arm. It's so much
less painful to build a page when I don't have to re-color and re-font each line of text.
If you check the page, say at 2 PM, it'll be mostly just pieces.
At 4 PM, you might find 4-5 stories,
at 6 PM maybe 8-10 stories. By midnight, there may be 15 stories and 20 or so if you check the next morning.
I generally try to post around 1 PM, so tomorrow's page looks
really empty at 2 PM. Also, the "tomoro" page
is much more uncensored, and all comments are "off the record" until it hits the free page on the day it was dated.
That gives me a little more freedom. I have dozens of members on the "editorial board" this way :)
I'm not sure why no pictures of this seem to exist, but there is a Lockerbie Memorial in Scottland, I think.
It's a rather ghoulish looking bit of architecture - lifesize, faceless ghosts kneeling and reaching towards the sky.
Well, Letterman's writers crafted a joke
about the odd picture, not knowing it's context, and Dave told it one night.
As you can understand, the Lockerbie people went crazy with disbelief and forced an apology out of Dave at the top
of the next night's show. It was the worst show Dave ever did. For the whole hour, he was terrible unfunny and off-kilter,
his timing was gone and there was a big thing hanging in the air and Dave (and the crowd) couldn't wait for the show to end.
Why do I bring this up?
If Ol' Bart is about to make a Lockerbie-sized, mega-blunder that's certain to outrage everyone, I'd sure like to know
about it before hitting "send" on the next day's issue - so if you Members see something - send me an e-mail, OK?
...and why is it so hard to find a picture
of that memorial?
No wonder Dave's writers didn't know what it was...
My good friend (and pillar) Jim Cudney found a picture of the strange sculpture.
Click to Enter
This is a BIG two weeks in world war II.
We have the start of offensive operations in the Pacific.
We've got the Kursk offensive in Russia, and finally,
we've got the invasion of Sicily.
I can't imagine how big Hitler's migraine
must have been
by the 12th but it had to be bad one.
Good work, Dave!
In the ongoing debate regarding the court's decision regarding "sodomy", why is the left allowing right-wing
bigot/liars to associate sodomy, bestiality and child-sex exclusively with gays? When one of those pop-up
windows appears advertising X-rated sites, prominent among them are multiple "sodomy" sites as well as
"sex with farm animals", "teen-aged girls", etc. So how is it, then, that it is reported every time,
"The supreme court made a decision on gay sex"?
Sodomy is NOT gay sex. Right-wing hate-mongers are getting away absolutely with unfairly discrediting
a class of people by associating them exclusively with deviant sexual behaviors, exploiting fears, therewith
getting more votes. Yet, as far as I know, not an objective word has been written about it in the mainstream
media OR the leftist press. This not only affects gays but is indicative of the severely stressed and distorted
nature of political discourse in America thanks to cleverly-calculated rhetorical scummery on the part of
Republicans which began, full throttle, with Rush Limbaugh about 1990 and has gone completely out of hand.
To empower citizens by providing a single, comprehensive, easy-to-use repository of information on
individuals, organizations, and corporations related to the government of the United States of America.
To allow citizens
to submit intelligence about government-related issues, while maintaining
To allow members of the government a chance to participate in the process.
This site is new, and they're having traffic problems, it says.
I tried calling up Ted Olson and Admiral Poindexter,
but their computer found "no matches," so maybe they're just working ths bugs out and it'll be working soon.
They'll shut this site down once Carlyle and the BFEE get under the spotlight, so enjoy it while you can.
"As to whether or not -- look, once the
strategy is in place, I will let people know whether
or not I'm airborne or not. In other words, I'm not trying to make any -- I don't need to
dramatize the decision. It's getting plenty of attention here at home. But we've got...
-- and look, I'm just gathering enough information to be rational in what we do."
--Dubya Monkey, trying out that language thing the humans use Attribution
A Public Service Announcement from bartcop.com
"I can't swim."
From World War II movies to Butch and Sundance,
there's always a funny or tragic story about the guy who couldn't swim.
In all my years, I've never heard anybody else say this, so I
might as well say it now.
Say there are twelve people reading this:
I'll bet one of the twelve thinks, "I can't swim."
This always struck me as funny because you can't help but
Your body floats, assuming you have breath in your lungs. If you're floating, all you
have to do is paddle left and right and you're moving thru the water, a.k.a swimming.
Unless you forget to breathe, (and barring ten foot waves) you're going to be swimming.
I remember as a kid, trying to get coins off the bottom of a swimming
It's hard to do, because with your lungs full of air, you have to fight your way down.
I finally figured out that the best way to get coins was to exhale as much as possible,
then dive and grab the coins, always remembering there's one more step to go.
(I didn't dive for the really deep coins...)
If you think you can't swim, read this story one more time and
If you're driving over a bridge, if you're in a harbor tour, if you're doing anything and suddenly
you find yourself in the water and you can't feel the floor, just remmeber what Ol' Bart said.
Take a breath - you're not going to sink unless you forget
It's so easy,
I could teach George W. Bush to swim.
There's Wimbledon, soccer and BIG-time analysis of the Tour de France.
Click to Enter
Subject: post this smartenheimer
Yes, Africa is a trainwreck of a continent.
It has been for years.
For instance, while President Clinton held the highest office in the land,
about one million people died in Rowanda.
I don't know if that's true or not.
So far, you're "facts" haven't been all William Tell.
There were numerous African wars and great
During that time, Clinton decided to go to war in Yugoslavia.
True, Clinton put a stop to Milo's genocide,
and in his eight years in office, I imagine
there was civil war and famine in Africa. I think Clinton said he should have done more.
Would you happen to know what the UN vote
Thats right smart guy, Clinton didnt go to the UN, he simply dropped the god damned bombs.
W went to the congress and the UN -- see the difference pal?
Carson, aka stupidheimer
Yeah, ...I sure do.
Nobody but Milo complained when Clinton
stopped his ugly, genocidal rampage.
But when the drunken American cowboy said, "Fuck Saddam, we're taking him out,"
every nation stood up and told him to stop being such a selfish and greedy prick/bastard,
but nobody could stop him because you and I pay taxes for the toughest military in the world.
I remember it well, because it happened
only 90 days ago.
PS--remember all the supposed ethnic cleansing? That wasnt true at all!
You mean all those mass graves were suicides that buried themselves?
Baron Dave Romm on the Knights Templar
Beyonce & Shania sang for the Prince's Trust
The Cayley Flyer
BBC defends their journalists
The world's largest Quran
Bush for California's Budget Woes
by Robert Scheer as seen on truthout.org
for future fades in Bush's Iraq
by Tom Newton Dunn In Basra for www.mirror.co.uk
- The Problem With Ann
Bareback Sullivan retreats to an only 90 percent insane position
Portrait of a Young Man as Global Citizen
bartcop.com is a severe threat to America.
Look at this picture they run of Tom Delay...
Subject: Does Rep Pete Stark (D-CA) Read bartcop.com?
"It seems to me that we should be putting money
into the hands of people who will spend it immediately,"
said Rep. Pete Stark, a member of the Joint Economic Committee. "The worst part is creating this huge deficit
and giving it to the 1 or 2 percent of Americans who won't do anything but increase their wealth with it."
Sounds like the bartcop tax plan to me!
Keep pounding the hammer!
Saw it on smirkingchimp.com
Miller time for Bush
Former comic turns government apologist
Historically, many comedians have aimed their political and social commentary at the establishment.
Dennis Miller prefers hanging out with them.
"Hi, I'm a whore."
Y'know - I'm so ashamed. I used to really like Dennis Miller,
and years of praise can be found in the back pages...
These days, that's embarrassing.
if that dumbass C does get the onions to
debate you, please let him/her know that,
if Clinton had sexually harassed Jones, which he clearly did not and, by law, could not have,
he still would not have committed a freaking crime.
sexual harassment is a civil tort, not a
it's no different than libel or slander--nobody goes to jail for it.
my God, these Republicans are almost as stupid as they are dishonest!
how can you call yourself a good, patriotic
American and know almost nothing
about American law, government, or history???
if i write more, i'll have a stroke.
Now that you're charging for this rather
mediocre pile of shit,
you sure have become a lazy son of a bitch haven't you?
You sure you're not a republican?
Dude, I'm kinda busy today.
Hold on to this "Suck me," until I can get to you, OK?
One last go-round for deficit shirts, mugs etc
Deficit mugs and shirts!
Give to your snotty GOP brother in law.
Show him what a genius Clinton was.
Click to own
"When you think about the continent of Africa,
you think about leadership,
you think about President Mbeki. He's taking strong positions along with
President Obasanjo, and providing troops -- the South African."
-- President Bloodthirsty Attribution
Seriously, when Bush tries to pronouncean African's name,
doesn't Will Farrell from SNL pop into your head?
He was almost as funny as the Unelected Chimp.
Note: first 90 seconds in Dutch, the rest is in English
You remember how, during the Clinton administration,
the Repugnicans kept claiming that Clinton
had the military over-extended? Well, according to a good family friend who just retired from the
Army reserves, eight out of the 10 (active duty) Army divisions are completely occupied between
normal deployments (eg, Germany, South Korea, etc.) and combat roles in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I certainly don't hear the media reporting
The media won't report anything negative or truthful about America's premier mass murderer.
"Some say [the economy] is doing pretty well
-- well it may be.
But people need more money in their pocket, as far as I’m concerned."
George W. Bush, Campaign Speech in Tampa, FL October 26, 2000
Just how bad is President Bush's record on job creation?
It's like asking: "Just how bad was that fire aboard the Hindenberg?"
With Friday's release of the June unemployment
numbers we have payroll figures
for the first 29 months of Bush's term in office. During that time, the U.S. economy
has shed almost 2.5 million jobs.
Remember each time Clinton's Miracle Economy set a new record
(going up, not down,) the GOP would say,
"Clinton shouldn't get credit for that. The American people deserve the praise - not Clinton."
"Americans need to stop being so lazy ...and work harder!"
Fight back with BartCop Radio
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You have two minutes to rant away.
"You’d think that Howard Dean’s rivals would
start attacking him now that his fund-raising
has elevated him to what amounts to front-runner status in the Democratic race. But each
leading contender has his own strategic reason for laying off, at least until the fall, if not
beyond—a scenario that could backfire by allowing Dean a free ride until it’s too late to stop him."
--Howard Fineman, Attribution
Knowing the Democrats, they're afraid to attack Dean.
Heat and violence hits US troops
Us soldiers expected gratitude for removing Saddam
They were told that the people of this country would greet them as liberators.
"It's terrible. We're sleeping in this heat without any air-conditioning.
I just wake up in a puddle of sweat every morning... and they're not
giving us enough water, just a bottle a day!"
Yes, they were lied to like the rest of us, but oh, how they looooove their Dubya in the military.
It doesn't matter how many soldiers were killed for Bush's insatiable
They forgive him.
It doesn't matter that the wartime deserter played cowboy and got 200 of our finest killed.
They forgive him.
It doesn't matter that all his rich friends became super-richer, while the military has been told
to "be patient," because there's not enough money to get them off food stamps.
They forgive him.
It doesn't matter that the Idiot Chimp played dress-up in a pilot's uniform to preen for the TV cameras,
with a sock in his crotch, using the war's survivors as puppets in his backdrop of the coast of San Diego.
They forgive him.
He didn't have sex, so it's OK if hundreds of their own die for Bush's oil folly?
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Use this portal and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2003, bartcop.com
Sexy brain Shirley
Shirley - call me, just to say "Hi!" Leave a two-minute
I'll play it for your fans at bartcop.com Maybe say some nasty things about George Bush.
As far as I know, Shirley, our politics are identical.
is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a stupid criminal and a greedy bastard.
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Please call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool - and I'll catch you on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of quality
Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)
Hey, if Spike can do it, why can't I?