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Volume 1107 - Dying for Tax Cuts

Click to order or read the free Chapter

 Tuesday    July 8, 2003 


"The world expects something more of an American president than to prance around on
  a flight deck dressed up like a pilot. Heís expected to be a leader. Thatís my fundamental
  issue with it. It doesnít reflect the gravitas of the office. Furthermore, itís a little phony."
       --Gen. Wesley Clark, Newsweek interview

"Can I have a general killed?"

MSGOP Fires Weinerboy Savage 
 They had "no idea" he was that much of a Nazi prick

 Click  Here

"Oh, you're one of the sodomites," the Nazi Weiner spewed at a caller.
"You should only get AIDS and die, you pig. piece of garbage.
  You have got nothing to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it."

 But why did MSGOP fire this guy?
 Weiner was just what NBC wanted, a fire-breathing, nigger-hating, faggot-bashing, piece of shit.

 That's why they fired Donahue, because he's not like that.
 They said "Donahue didn't fit in," and Weinerboy fit tighter than OJ's leather murder gloves
 Weiner was exactly what Clear Channel and FOX and the rest of broadcast journalism has become.
 He's a twin, carbon-copy of Ann Coulter, but with a smaller vagina.

 MSGOP is a whore company, where whores do the hiring and firing and on-air whores bring in
 that all-important Limbaugh dollar - and they're firing one of their hires for being a Nazi whore?
 It makes no sense.

 Shades of Marc Perkel & Springfield, Mo
  Kobe Bryant arrested on the word of a woman

  Click  Here

 I just watch the Colorado County DA hold a press conference on the Kobe Bryant rape arrest.
 The DA said he hasn't seen any of the evidence, so he couldn't comment on it.

 The stunned press managed to blurt out a question:
"How in the world do you arrest a guy without seeing any evidence?
  Is that how things are done here in Colorado?"

 The obviously pissed DA said, "The judge read the woman's affidavit and issued the warrant."
 You mean in places besides Springfield, a woman can write a letter to a judge and have a man arrested?

 This sounds like really bad law to me.

 Frankie say, "Bring it on"

  Click  Here

 The retiring commander of the U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Gen. Tommy Franks,
 repeated President NoBrain's recent schoolyard taunt to Iraqi militants attacking our forces,
 saying "bring it on" as he turned over control of his troops on Monday.


"I place economy among the first and most important of republic virtues,
  and public debt as the greatest of the dangers to be feared."
   --Thomas Jefferson,   Attribution

"Bring this Jefferson Al Qaeda to me - I'll kill him myself..."

 Subject: transgender is not treason

 hey Bart,

 For the most part I think the graphics (pictures, parodies, etc) on your page are just not that funny,
 but they're mostly made by others so, ...busy guy,'ve got to take what you can get.

 Dude, I disagree.
 I think the graphics and pictures are the best part about
 Nobody has better cartoons than you see here.

 ...but I'm telling you right up front,  ...I don't like you,  and I don't like your tone...
 You're talking like someone who's just begging for a Number Six...

 But the "transgender is not treason" one is not just not funny, it's offensive.

 Dude, it's a joke on Ann Coulter, who has more balls than any ten Democrats.
 You want me to ignore the facts in this case?
 If you have transgender issues, I say support those who believe in sexual freedom.
 Fighting with me on this issue is like sending Bush a campaign contribution.
 You're barking up the wrong tree. Play your cards wisely...

 Higher on today's page you printed a letter from Bob talking about the unchallenged public connections
 being made between gays and pedophiles, bestialist, etc.  Joking that Ann Coulter is Transgender is the
 same sort of thing.  Would you make a joke about her being a 'dyke'?  how about 'nigger lover'?

 It's important that we each take a breath...

 Ann Coulter has again and again shown monstrous amounts of testosterone.
 That's a fact you nor I can change. Ann Coulter is George S. Patton on Prednisone.
 To ignore the facts would be illogical.

 Look, this is a battle you and I need to win.
 (I'm guessing you have gender issues...)
 You can throw a tantrum OR you could get the joke and help fight the B.F.E.E. fascists.

"Would I make a joke about Coulter being a dyke and a 'nigger lover?"

 If that's a question for me, I'd say, "Yes, ...if it's funny."

 'Being Jewish is not treason'?  I don't think so.  But a trans joke is OK?

 Dude, ...inhale, ...exhale...

 The difference between a joke that's funny and one that's not, ... is it's intent.
 If you think I published a joke that was intented to ridiculed the Jews, the blacks,
 the gays or the Irish, you misunderstood and I forgive you because I'm a nice guy.

 Trans people don't deserve to be the butt of jokes (even from the 'friendly' white liberal media),
 and they certainly don't deserve to be smeared by association, even in jest, with Ann Coulter.


 ha ha

 I'll agree with that!
 If you're pissed about being almost-associated with some foaming She-Nazi like Ann Coulter,
 we could've saved a lot of time of you had mentioned that up-front.

 Hey, I'm from dusty Oklahoma, I don't understand about the whole gender switch thing,
 but I'm fifty miles closer to you than any God-fearing Republican could be.

 Dude, we're on the same side.
 Be calm and prosper...

 Subject: why weinerboy got fired

 Hey Bart,

 It's realll simple why the MSGOP fired Michael Savage (Weiner): his ratings must've truly sucked!
 As "ideologically pure" as they no doubt want to make themselves out to be (at least until the FCC
 comes through for them), they, like any other corporation, are all about one thing: making money.

 You add it all up; the fact that his ratings have been in the shitter from day one, the growing boycott
 against his sponsors, the fact that his lawsuit(hah!) will take a long time to develop and will probably be
 a loser (like him), and the only sum of the equation you can come up with is that they must be losing a
 helluva lot of money on the deal.

 That being the case, they took his latest mouthoff and used it as a convenient excuse to cut their losses.
 Even in the realm of wingnut media, Weiner is pretty small fry, so nobody should be too outraged about his
 departure.  However, it should be obvious to most by now that all the media conglomerates are most likely
 losing a shitload of short-term profits by supporting the dittomonkies.  Their boards of directors must
 surely be wondering if their FCC investment is going to pay off in the long run after all, especially if
 there are going to be congressional hearings and lawsuits(real ones with merit!) involved...

 In other words, we can probably expect corporate trigger fingers to get itchier in the future as this thing
 drags out; the issue of media market ownership is simply NOT going to go away.  To sum up, we can
 expect some of the really big names in the wingnut media to be sacrificed before too much longer.

 Bill O'Reilly must be thinking about how sad his resume' truly looks right now...


 We haven't heard anything from Get Your War On in over 30 days.

 Melic, ask them if everything's OK.
 We need more GYWO.

 Subject: Show 6

'He raped the constitution, shot it in the head and dumped the body in the woods.'

 Go Bart!

 I'm sure you are receiving grief about your rant about the invisible cloud being,
 but I really enjoyed show 6.


 Speaking of the radio shows, I found a clip from Show Seven I can share.
 It's about three minutes of stalker manipulation.

 Click  Here

 Katherine Harris not dead

 There was an internet rumor that our least favorite Floridian died in a plane crash yesterday.
 I knew it wasn't true because Bush doesn't kill Republicans.

 Click  to  Enter

 This is a BIG two weeks in world war II.

  Help turn the tables on Bush and Ashcroft as Poindexter monitors "the enemies of America,"
  which includes anyone critical of President McWarHardon's supermarket sweep of Iraq.

 Subject: Reef on Dennis "M&M Pitchman" Miller

 Bart, you published:

> Quotes

>"The next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that
>  the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it.
>  Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club."
         --Dennis Miller

 As I recall, the guy who started "Fight Club" in the movie (played brilliantly by Edward Norton)
 turned out to be a simpering schizophrenic latent homosexual cult leader TERRORIST who
 blew up some American skyscrapers in the grand finale.

 Fuck you, Dennis Miller.

 Reef the Dog

There's Wimbledon, soccer and BIG-time analysis of the Tour de France.

Click to Enter

 Subject: Tiger Woods

 I'm sure you want to join golf fans everywhere in congratulating Tiger Woods,
 the greatest golfer in the world, on his impressive win in the Western Open.

 BTW, please place the Bartcop Hex on me, my golf game needs improvement.

 Eric S.

 It appears the weekly loser was five shots better than the no-name who came in second.
 For "the greatest ever," he's sure doing a pitiful job defending that title.

Marty's E! page
Michael Dare's "Disinfotainment Today"
Earth, Wind & Fire
Weiner was finally fired by MSGOP
Roger Daltrey defends Pete Townshend
TNN may now be 'Spike TV'
The last 'Battle of Buccaneer Bay' in Vegas
Princess Di to be comic book superhero
Mold & Ted Nugent's home
(The mold is from Ted 50's ideas...)
And, space cognac


 Neil Boortz

 What's the deal with this guy?
 I thought he was your typical vulgar Pigboy clone, but he's not.

 I heard an hour of him this morning during my corn run to Bixby, OK.
 I heard him say that nobody hates like a "Christian," which is exactly on the mark.
 He told stories of the e-mail he getsfrom "Christian" that want to murder him.

 He also said gays have rights, and the gay-haters should knock off the hate, which is correct.
 He also said Mike Weiner (R-Necrophiliac) should have been fired for his death wish to gays.

 ...and I'm thinking, "How did this guy get on the AM airwaves?"

 Then I found out.

 He called Hillary "Hitlery," because he disagreed with Hillary's backing of some school
 proposal to help New York school children who were failing to make higher test scores.

 That explains how this guy got on, or stays on the air.
 Because Hitlery wants to destroy all the children in New York state.

 C'mon, Neil, don't call someone "Hitler" because their education views are different
 from yours.   You call somebody "Hitler" who has murdered 10,000 innocent people in the
 last 90 days for no goddamn reason other than the claim that God told him to. That would
 fit into your "crazy murdering Christians" theory, wouldn't it?

 You could also call somebody "Hitler-ish" if they vehemently and ferociously supported
 the murder of 10,000 innocent people in the last 90 days for no goddamn reason, which
 would be all of talk radio, all of cable TV and, of course, Fox News and MSGOP.

 Get your facts straight next time, Neil.

 Speaking of Mike Weiner and sex with the dead...

  Savage and foreplay with a department store mannequin.

 Hey Mikey, you ever had sex with a man or a woman?
 I'll bet it's a lot better than what you've been getting lately, you poor bastard.

 I went to the weiner-necrophilia websiteto see what his pitiful spin would be
 on his wishing that his gay caller would "choke on a sausage and die."
 (Now, see, there's a guy who belongs on Christian AM radio.)

   Click  Here

 After wishing the caller dead - twice - Weiner says that shouldn't count because,
 sitting four inches from a microphone in a radio studio, he had "no idea" that his
 "kill the gays" hate speech would be heard by anybody else.

 Quote from the Weiner Nazi:

"In no way did my comments reflect my views of disease and suffering in any way.
 I have spent my entire life in the field of alternative medicine trying to heal the world
 and bring comfort to the sick. If my comments brought pain to anyone I certainly
 did not intend for this to happen and apologize for any such reaction."

 Dear Liar,
 You have built your entire career (ha ha, sorry) by being more of a Nazi than Rush.
 That's your niche - being a bigger dick than the vulgar Pigboy.
 That's why MSGOP hired you, that's why you got a show on the "Christian" AM airwaves,
 because you think blacks and gays should be put into ovens and you have the "courage" to say so.

 You're a tiny, disgraced man who has only one chance to redeem himself and attempt to
 bring back some honor to the Weiner name. It involves you in a closet with a Glock.

 Please tend to this matter at once.

 I'll bet your mannequin would join you.


"The entire country will benefit from Paul's work establishing a new agency, and it will be one of his greatest legacies."
    -- Tom Ridge, lying his ass off.  Top Homeland Security Official Resigns

 Tom, it's my understanding that a Catholic who tells really big and serious lies will go to hell.
 Do you like a warm climate, Tom?

 If you were telling the truth, you would've said, "We had to fire this asshole because he told the truth
 about Bush wanting to give tax cuts to his friends more than he wants to shield us from terrorists."

 Oh sure - we have money for Bush's millionaire friends, but we can't afford any training or masterials
 for the first respondents of another attack like Bush allowed on September 11th.


"The Republicans used to be the party of the First Methodist Church, and the Democrats of the great unwashed.
  Now the Republicans are the hellions, and the Democrats are the ones you want to bring home to mother.
  The G.O.P. is making such inroads among younger voters for the same reason that Fox News is making
  inroads among younger viewers. We live in a culture that values brazen certainty and loud conviction,
  no matter how wrongheaded. Pity the Democrats, stuck with the wrong set of virtues."
       --James Traub,   Temperament Wars

Fight back with BartCop Radio

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 Since yesterday's radio show, I haven't gotten one e-mail with the words "Gilligan" or "Edinburg."

 Sometimes, life is surprising...

 Call the 

You have two minutes to rant away.


"Unlike some in my party who continue to question our use of force in Iraq, I have not wavered
  in my belief in the justness of the war we fought. In this, I know I am following in the proud
  tradition of Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy and Clinton, all of whom were ready and willing to
  apply our military might when necessary to protect our security."
    --Joe Lieberman, Getting Back on Track in Postwar Iraq

 Joe, you bet whatever tiny chance you had of being president that your hero The Mass Murderer
 would find WMD and justify his killing spree, but that didn't happen so get the hell off the stage.
 Besides, Joe, if yopur hero HAD found something, he'd squash you like a bug next year, so what
 the hell were you doing placing yourself if that unwinnable situation in the first place?

 Do you play poker, Joe?

 My ne'er-do-well friend unplugged my mouse while I had seven programs open.
 The last time he did that, I had to buy a nhew computer.

 Once it was disconnected, all I could do was kill power.
 When it came back up, I was missing files and directories,
 which is why this short issue is so late.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

                  Sexy brain Shirley

 Shirley - call me, just to say "Hi!"   Leave a two-minute message, please.
 I'll play it for your fans at  Maybe say some nasty things about George Bush.

 As far as I know, Shirley, our politics are identical.

 Bush is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
 He's a stupid criminal and a greedy bastard.

 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Please call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool - and I'll catch you on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of quality humor.
 Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)
 Hey, if Spike can do it, why can't I?

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