POLITICS - SARCASM -
FINE TEQUILA - VEGAS
Click Here to subscribe
A resource for non-embedded writers and an enlightened public
Please visit our newest sponsor
"This may be the first time in recent history
that a president knowingly
misled the American people during the State of the Union address.
This was not a mistake. It was no oversight and it was no error."
- Terry McAuliffe, trying to get one Democrat to stand up and fight
"This guy can't be a Democrat - he's fighting back!"
Hi, I'm Dubya's pet poodle, Lee
Hamilton and the 'October Surprise' cover-up
"Hamilton held a press conference to clear Bush before the investigation into
the deal between the Reagan-Bush candidates for presidential office and the
Iranians, had even started. Hamilton then admitted he had not interrogated
witnesses or talked with his special attorney hired to Investigate the matter."
How did the Democrat allow Bush to appoint this shoe-licker to investigate 9-11?
What's wrong with the Democrats?
Why do they want to help Bush cover up
what really happened on 9-11?
Did Mr Rove order the Democrats to obey - or else?
They're dismissing the our right to know the damn truth about Bush and Osama.
If Bush is innocent and has nothing
to hide, why did he appoint Henry Kissinger
(R-Bloody Hands) and then the happy shoe-licker Lee Hamilton to investigate?
Anatomy of a coverup Iran/Contra
While both Polgar and Lisker clearly proved effective in helping suppress the
dirtier aspects of the Iran contra affair, a key actor in the cover-up was the House
Select Committee chair Lee Hamilton.
It was Hamilton who drafted a letter to
Costa Rican President OscarArias threatening a chill
in relations if the Costa Rican attorney general proceeded to indict and prosecute long-time
CIA asset and North operative John Hull, point man of the contra "southern front." Hull had
been identified by at least four eye-witnesses as being present on land he controlled in Costa
Rica when large quantities of cocaine were loaded onto planes bound for the U.S. But Oliver
North invoked national security, writing in his NSC notebooks of a "need to protect Hull."
...and Hamilton is going to assure us Bush didn't know in advance
"I can roll these Democrats like
I rolled Baghdad. Hell, the Iraqi's
at least fought back - the Democrats
just lay down for me - every time.
"May I lick your boots, Sir?"
Click Here for more that will turn your stomach,
Once again, Bush gets a free pass
and he won't be held accountable for any of his lies or his crimes.
Call your representative and senator and ask them why a Bush
is steering the 9-11 committee to the "Bush is certainly innocent and blame-free" conclusion.
Trust me, Hamilton has already written his "Bush
is innocent" report
Hamilton is a good dog - he knows how to obey commands..
This hand job is just to placate the families of the victims of 9-11.
Why is the B.F.E.E. bribing the jury foreman if Bush is innocent?
U.S. intelligence officials had doubts about the quality of a British intelligence report alleging Iraq
was seeking uranium from Africa in the weeks just before and after President Bush made the
allegation in his State of the Union address in January, senior U.S. officials said Thursday.
It's all Tony Blair's fault!
Rove's been watching the Brit Parliament and he has decided
that Tony is an employee they need to "let go."
This is sweet!
Two scumbags, trying to beat the other to the punch on selling
Looks like Tony just lost his seat on the Carlyle Board of Directors.
Tony's getting it almost as bad as Saddam.
Who will hire a whore rejected by both the left AND the right?
Of course, the American media will turn on Blair when Mr. Rove orders them...
Never trust a Bush
They will rat you out for a barrel of oil.
It's what whores do.
to sell pot to its sick citizens
A government that helps sick citizens? How unusual...
Canada became on Wednesday the first country in the world to start selling marijuana
to several hundred seriously ill people but said the pot project could be halted at any time.
Alison Myrden, who has multiple sclerosis,
a disorder of the brain and spinal cord, took part
in a demonstration in Ottawa and condemned the government for appealing the court ruling.
"This country has to act now...nobody wants us
to play this political football game any more.
People are suffering and dying out there," she said.
DEA is out of touch
This case suggests the White House's drug warriors - who insist on conflating marijuana with every other
illicit substance - are increasingly out of touch with the common-sense views of people on the state and
local level. Out of compassion for people who say they truly benefit from marijuana's medicinal value,
nine states have legalized marijuana for medical uses, eight of those through ballot initiatives. Various studies
demonstrate that marijuana offers therapeutic relief from a number of ailments, including AIDS, glaucoma,
cancer and chronic pain.
Washington has used every form of persuasion
to keep other nations from liberalizing marijuana laws.
But the shoes keep dropping. Several countries in Western Europe, including Spain and the Netherlands,
have decriminalized marijuana in small amounts. Canada is about to join them, despite frantic lobbying by
the Bush administration and threats that there will be inordinate delays at the border if the measure becomes law.
This is pure GOP.
After decades of screaming "less government," they insist on spending money to catch and arrest taxpayers
who want to smoke a harmless flower in their homes, while subsidizing the poison brewers of BIG tobacco.
The truth is, they can't stand to see somebody having fun
- that's why they hate sex so much.
"Karl! Condi! Help me punish Canada - quick!"
Portrait of Bunnypants choking his chicken
"It's very important for us to stay the course,
and we will stay the course."
--Bunnypants, in Botswana, Bush Says U.S. Must Stay Course in Iraq
"The Pentagon said Wednesday 1,044 American
servicemen and women have been wounded in action
or injured since the war in Iraq began March 20. Of that total, 382 have been wounded or injured since
Bush declared major combat over, according to the Pentagon's figures. Of the 212 U.S. troops who
have died in Iraq since the war began, 74 died after May 1, not including Thursday's toll."
--Barry Schweid, Bush Says U.S. Must Stay Course in Iraq
Remember when Bush promised to take America in "a
different direction" than Clinton took us?
Clinton took us to peace and prosperity.
“The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought
significant quantities of uranium from Africa,” Mr. Bush said.
The statement was technically correct, since
it accurately reflected the British paper.
But the bottom line is the White House knowingly included in a presidential address
information its own CIA had explicitly warned might not be true.
"Unka Dick said nobody would question what I said.
You CBS people need to get with the program...
What the hell - cut out Dan Rather's tongue."
Some gave all...
Will Bush maintain public trust on Iraq occupation?
"George W. Bush likes cards now and then, and the favorite game in his state is “Texas Hold ‘Em.”
The choices are limited, though the betting is not, and most of the cards are dealt face up.
It puts a premium on bravado, and on a willingness to put everything on the line in an
“OK Corral” style shootout. You win big—or lose big."
"I'm all in - if your boy is doing the dying..."
I just saw Shrub on CNN, he was speaking in Uganda
the bastard's nose was bright, bright red...
..he's been drinking!!
...we really oughta start making a stink about this.
President Jack in the Pants
George W. Bush 'Jack in the Pants' - $29.95
It's the hottest political collectible of the year.
Twist the Puppet's crank to hear “Hail to the Thief” and out pops
Smirky McJack in the Pants, complete with presidential podium.
Puppet is hard rubber and fabric, ...but you knew that...
Damn, I wish I had a piece of this...
Is Bush a better man drunk or sober?
Think about it...
When Bush was hard drinking every day, and using a lot of cocaine and screwing Mexican hookers,
he wasn't killing anybody, except maybe the unborn baby that he helped Robin abort in that Houston hospital.
But after he "sobered up," Bush started
killing black men with sleepy lawyers like they were frogs
with an firecracker stuck up their ass and tossed into the air for his personal entertainment.
If memory serves me (I need a staff) Bush
executed a Texas prisoner every two weeks
while he was goveror of the only state that elected him to anything in his life, kill-happy Texas.
But once this drunk sobered up (?) and was
appointed president by his father's crooked fiends,
he started a worldwide murder spree that has probably killed 10,000 to 20,000 people.
I think I like the drunker Bush better.
When drunk, citizen Bush can only kill a
few motorists while drivng DWI.
As our appointed king, he can kill hundreds of thousands with mere words.
Subject: Dude, the intro is way too long
Nearly four minutes of part four (symbolism?)
of show seven is music.
If I wanted to listen to music, I'd throw in a CD.
A music intro shouldn't be any longer than
It can be longer, if you are talking over it.
Just my 2¢.
Note: I used a never-heard-before live, accoustic "My Sweet
by George Harrison as a "mood enhancer."
Kevin, I must admit I don't understand.
Radio Show #7 was over an hour long.
I'm not one of those people who's so damn enthralled with the sound of my own voice,
like Rush, Laura, Hannity, O'Reilly, Weinerboy, Boortz, Harvey and the rest, that I
have to hear myself speaking every second that the show is on the air.
We have one advertiser, the very talented
I'm trying to use the music as a mood enhancer as well as mortar between bits.
Plus, ...about half the time the music is political.
Of course, we have to have about two minutes
of Shirley's fine, fine voice in each show,
but surely that's not grating on you like fingernails on a blackboard, right?
...but I do appreciate your input.
Radio feedback has been rarer than Democratic courage.
A fresh 'BAGnews'
Rolling Stones' Toronto concert still has tickets
Martin Scorsese producing for Sci Fi Channel
Princess Di won't be a comic book superhero after all
Katharine Hepburn's authorized biography goes on sale today
Jerry Springer's infomercial quotes Jonah Goldberg
Steve Wynn bought a Rembrandt
And, the Church of Universal Love and Music
The Bush administration, pressing its campaign against state medical marijuana laws, has asked the
U.S. Supreme Court to let federal authorities punish California doctors who recommend pot to their patients.
The appeal "is a sign that this administration
will do everything they can to defeat the will of the voters
of California and many other states," said Graham Boyd, an American Civil Liberties Union lawyer for
doctors, patients and AIDS support groups who sued the federal government in 1997 over the policy,
which the Clinton administration originally introduced.
We're all living in the goddamn Bizzaro world.
Smoking flowers and smiling and making love are bad.
Murdering defenseless Iraqi civilians is good, and we do it for f-ing sport.
Blow jobs are now bad, war and recession are now good.
National Parks are for oil drilling, and it's proper to take a torch to the Bill of Rights.
Nazi coward Michael Savage wins a "Freedom of Speech" award,
and Phil Donahue is yanked off MSGOP for "not fitting in" to their plans to worship Bush's wars.
Debt and unemployment are in, and that phoney Clinton peace and
has been thoroughly discredited by God himself, and we're all the better for it.
Christ, it's like some damn Betty
Bowers skit, but with an illegal usurper in the Whote House,
who needs to cover up what he knew in advance about 9-11, and it's no longer a joke.
If you're tired of hearing about Hamilton the shoe-licker covering up the Bush's 9-11 actions, ...we might be
here for a while. I don't like this shit one little bit, and I'm sure I'm on solid ground when I saw Lee Hamilton
investigating Bush's background makes about as much f-ing sense as asking Siegfried to investigate Roy.
I don't mean to sound like Al Pacino, ...but don't you even care?
Doesn't anybody care?
Bush hired an employee to verify his greatness and bravery on the day bin Laden got even?
...and we just don't care to have a comment on that?
They impeached the real president,
they stole the election from the afraid-to-fight Democrats,
they robbed the Social Security money that was in the Treasury,
they gave that money to Enron, GE, Viacom, Exxon-Mobil, Worldcom, Microsoft and Wal-Mart,
they hired Poindexter, Cheney, Rummy and Carlyle and Halliburton to help pull off the murder of Baghdad,,
and now they hire shoe-licker Hamilton to guarantee history that Bush is an honorable man?
Then write or call your representative and senator and ask
them why a Bush
is steering the 9-11 committee to the "Bush is certainly innocent and blame-free" conclusion.
Why is the B.F.E.E. bribing the jury foreman if Bush is innocent?
Subject: Bush said that it "doesn't matter?"
You are the nation's ombudsman and its ultimate
arbiter of truth. My wife claims that she heard
Poisonous Monkeyhead say that it doesn't really matter if Saddam had WMDs or not as long as
the American people BELIEVED that he did (as a justification for war).
I have not heard that, but I'd puy my money
He's said lots much stupider stuff than that, and the press just looks the other way.
Did Awol C-Minus actually utter this sentiment,
and, if so,
why hasn't this remark been seized upon by ANYONE?
Dude, they won't even ask him how many times
he's pled guilty to felonies.
This is unheard of!
They asked Clinton to explain check he wrote
in the seventies, but Bush doesn't even get asked,
"Sir, of how many felonies have you been convicted?"
They say, "It's none of your damn business how many felonies your King has!"
"That's right, Funnyboy.
You need to watch what you say...
You realize, we can legally murder your punk ass
and no power on Earth could get justice for you..."
My wife said she saw the Psychopathic Cowboy
say this on ABC's
"World News Tonight," if that's any help.
We need you to shine the beacon of truth on this situation.
In closing, I'll bet he said it.
But be careful using bartcop.com for reference material.
It's not like I'm under oath, ...or have the integrity of the American press.
I've been offered a part-time job.
This dude with a bar will give me $150 a shift to help run the place.
(It would be an executive position.)
Two of those a week would be an extra thousand a month.
I don't own the place, if somebody gets stabbed or shot,
I won't have to talk to any policemen, ...probably.
I haven't answered him yet, and don't tell Smirk, but that's
It's like "Not-going-back-to-work-for-whitety" insurance.
I'm going to pray on it.
Say it with me, kids: L'Alpe d'Huez.
It's a really big mountain and Lance is going to
demolish the field when he climbs the famed mountain.
That's on Sunday, so Jason and I can obsess over sprinters until then, eh?
There's also tons of baseball going on.
The Yankees and Red Sox still dislike one another. Whodathunk it?
And Randall Simon collects his first hit in the month of July.
Unfortunately, it wasn't with a baseball.
Check out the sports dish at BartCopSports!
And hey, drop me a line!
Tell me I'm an idiot or something.
Click to Enter
"I believe the Bush administration did not
provide an accurate picture to the American
people of the military threat posed by Iraq. Some of the fault lies with the performance
of the intelligence community, but most of it lies with the way senior officials misused the
information they were provided. As of March 2003, when we began military operations,
Iraq posed no imminent threat to either its neighbors or to the United States."
--Greg Thielmann, former State Department big shot
Who should have the bomb?
If I understand our philosophical position
against other nations getting the bomb,
it is predicated on the assumption that "those people" can't be trusted with the bomb.
They're the type of people who might go off "half cocked" and use their weapons
for frivolous reasons, without thinking matters through, with little or no justification.
For 40-50 years, we lived with Russia and China having the bomb,
and we made it
because of MAD, mutually assured destruction. But now, there's a new breed of madmen
who take their orders to invade other nations directly from the one, true God (not those
fake Gods that the gutter religions pray to... Boy, are they stupid...)
How will we handle this new breed of self-delusional maniacs?
"God made me president as part of my mini fest destiny.
He told me to murder Baghdad and kill Saddam."
What about a weekly, semi-friendly game hosted by partypoker.com,
the sponsors for the Travel Channel's World Poker Tour on Wed nights.
I've taken the tour, it seems to work fine, once you learn the
You give them a credit card, and what the credit card company takes as a fee,
partypoker.com gives that back, plus a few extra dollars for "good luck."
Say you send them $50, they'll charge you $5, but partypoker.com
will give you credit for, like $53, so that makes it better than free.
Of course, this is real money and you could lose your money.
If you have gambling issues, maybe this isn't for you.
The room I visited played 50 cent/dollar stakes.
I'll check into getting a private room, for smart liberals only (cough).
but at the worst, we could take over a room and freeze out DMs and civilians.
They also have a chat feature, but the game moves along quickly,
there's not a lot of time for conversation.
It's cheaper than renting a hotel room,
and you can't get pinched for DUI on the drive home.
Be sure and put "poker" in the subject header
Bush mushroom cloud "Bring 'em on" shirts!
Buy a shirt, support bartcop.com and show the world
that you know there's an illegal monkey in the White House.
Subject: It makes me sick
You know what really makes me sick?
Our soldiers are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan and yet,
most of our military will still vote for that jackass.
I'll never understand that.
I guess they like dying so Bush can get
I know that not all of them will vote for Bush, but when I look at the polls
and see that the military loves Bush it makes me sick.
I don't believe the polls that say he
is popular. Here's why: if he's so popular,
then why does he only speak to republican crowds in controlled settings?
Clinton was never afraid to go out and walk
among everyday people.
Bush could never do that; he knows everyone can't stand him
Thanks again for the great site, the "tree
house," and for keeping us going
until we can kick these maniacs out of the White House in 2004.
I'm supporting Kucinich for now. My second choice is Dean, and then Kerry.
Maria in CA
Bush in Africa: Photo-Ops vs. Policies
"While Bush has made much of his commitment to fighting AIDS in Africa, this is becoming a cruel hoax.
The president requested no new money this year and only $450 million in new money for 2004.
He has virtually sidestepped the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, thus undermining the most important vehicle
in the war on AIDS in Africa."
"God told me to attack the non-whites, so I did."
Fight back with BartCop Radio
Sign up for 30 days of
for the low, low price of only eleven dollars.
I'll bet some of you are weary about signing
up for a "subscription,"
because some companies, like AOL continue to bill you for months
after you send your 'unsubscribe' notice, the bastards.
Bart's Law #2
Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money in their pocket,
expect them to make that "mistake" again and again and again.
That's why refineries have fires now and then, because a fire allows them
to scream "unexpected shortage" so they can gouge us on the price of gas.
You could PayPal your $11 to firstname.lastname@example.org
Or you could snail mail $11 to
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
A month in the members section makes a great gift!
You might really like it, but if you don't, you've lost $11
but you still have 29 days to enjoy members privileges.
They can't stop us if we're subscriber-supported.
Building into a powerhouse - - - good!
Click Here to subscribe.
Powell: No Uranium Claim Apology Needed
Colin Powell defended the administration in its handling of information about Iraqi weapons programs,
saying that Bush shouldn't have to apologize for a statement that later proved false.
"There was no effort or attempt on the part of
the president or anyone else in the administration
to mislead or to deceive the American people," Uncle Tom said while traveling with his Massa.
"The president was presenting what seemed to be a reasonable statement at that time."
Remember, this is the same Colin Powell who threw his prepared
speech into the air and said,
"I'm not reading this - this is bullshit," and now he claims there was no effort to mislead?
Colin Powell is lying just like Bush lied, like Cheney lied, like Rummy lied, like they all lied,
and the press lets them get away with it - again and again, time after time.
Have you ever wondered why Colin and Condi lie for their Master?
Have you wondered why Colin and Coni sold out to the B.F.E.E.?
Click Here to listen to Malcolm X explain it.
You have two minutes to rant away.
Tommy Franks is another George Patton?
I'm sure Tommy Franks is a helluva soldier and a fine general,
but let's not get carried away with the Patton comparisons, OK?
To some degree, Patton fought knowing the future of America depended
on what he did or didn't do.
Can you imagine the pressure on that man? If he got surprised on the battlefield, and had his division
been wiped out, we might be speaking German right now. The armies were close to evenly matched.
Tommy Franks had an army from a hundred years in the future and
was fighting cavemen with sticks.
In Iraq, we owned the skies, we could see them at night, we had satellite info coming out the wazoo,
our cruise missles were pounding them from hundreds of miles away, and on and on and on.
America spends $400 billion a year on defense, Iraq spent $4 billion.
We had them outmatched
at least a hundred to one, so could please we dial back the "Franks is another Patton," a little bit?
The good puppy press is so damn eager to create this myth that
is Patton and the trembling
cowboy Bunnypants is Eisenhower. But like everything about this child in office, it's all fake.
Subject: BartCop Radio
just to let ya know... on show 7, i got
part 5 only. 1 thru 4 would load but would not play.
i tell you this not to bug for a fix, but to see if others had the same difficulty.
i hate missing out cause i am really enjoying the show!
your rant on the invisible cloud being was
i was shaking in my seat with tears running down my face from laughing so hard!
go team go!
Sloop, I wish I had a clue.
Parts 1, 2 and 3 took the instant load technology,
but parts 4 and five rejected their links like the GOP rejects blacks.
How can digital technology work on 1, 2 and 3 and fail on 4 and
How can you get five, but not the others? I certainly believe you,
but it's like saying you only get every other cartoon - it makes no sense.
I have re-tooled the links to accomodate direct MP3 downloads.
It has to work now - it just has to.
The problem is with the insta-load technonoly.
It works on Mondays, Wednesdays and weekends,
but if goes down like Paula Jones on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
It makes no sense.
All I have a smart mouth, a microphone and the truth.
If I had a half-assed engineer that could fix stuff, we'd be much, much bigger.
<big Al Gore sigh...>
Maybe someone will write in with a clue? email@example.com
I'll bet somewhere, right now, a group of wealthy liberals is ranting against FOX Bastard News saying,
"Why can't our side fight back a little? Why do we always lay down for these Nazi bullies?"
I wish I could reach them.
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Use this portal and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
Click to Order
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley - call The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
Maybe leave a two-minute message...
I'll play it for your fans at bartcop.com
Maybe say some nasty things about fascist, sex-starved Bush.
Shirley, as far as I know, our politics are identical.
a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a stupid criminal and a greedy, blood-loving bastard.
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool,
and I'll catch you at the Vegas Hard Rock on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of quality
Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)