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Volume 1123 - War criminals

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 Monday  July 28, 2003 


"As you know, earlier this week, two of the favorite henchmen of Saddam were brought to justice.
  They were discovered and their violent eers ended in justice."
       --Dubya,  Livonia, Michigan, Jul. 24, 2003

 Yes, they got the only kind of "justice" the kill-happy monkey knows.
 They were murdered without a chance at having a trial.

 Bob Hope 1903-2003

  Click  Here

 The nation's most-honored comedian, Hope was a star in every category open to him — vaudeville,
 radio, television and film, most notably a string of "Road" movies with longtime friend Bing Crosby.
 For decades, he took his show on the road to military bases around the world, boosting the morale
 of servicemen from World War II to the Gulf War.

 He poked fun gently, without malice, and made himself the butt of many jokes. His golf scores and
 physical attributes, including his celebrated ski-jump nose, were frequent subjects:

 Through he said he was afraid of flying, Hope traveled countless miles to entertain servicemen in
 field hospitals, jungles and aircraft carriers from France to Berlin to Vietnam to the Persian Gulf.
 His Christmas tours became tradition.

 He headlined in so many war zones that he had a standard joke for the times he was interrupted by gunfire:
 "I wonder which one of my pictures they saw?"

 Since I was a little kid, I always envisioned that Bob Hope would have the biggest funeral in US history.
 I thought of three generations of soldiers, lining the streets as Bob's casket rolled by, paying tribute to the
 man who usually spent Christmas in some hellhole to make the burden a little lighter for our fighting men.
 Anyone who backs our boys in unifore has to like Bob Hope.

 The Yahoo headline said, "Entertainer Bob Hope Dead at 100."
 Hell, if you don't know who Bob Hope is, you have no business reading the damn news.

 Johnny Carson used to say Bob Hope bought half of Southern California when it was cheap.
 With all that wealth, Hope still got on a plane every year with a dozen hot babes and flew to hell to make
 the load for our boys a little lighter.  Maybe the best thing I can say about Bob Hope is he loved his country.

 Today's multi-millionaire entertainers just sit behind their microphones and slur black, gay and poor Americans
 and collect their millions every week while screaming for more tax cuts for the super-rich.
 They don't love their country - they love their fucking bank account.

 But today isn't a day to feel sad about Bob Hope. He had a hundred years of a wonderful life.
 He had 66 years with his wife, Delores.  Who could ask for more than that?
 He died a very rich man.


"Hex on thee, hex on thee, hex on thee..."
   -- Bart, all during prime time tonight as "Mr Perfect," Tiger Woods searches for his balls

  Hey, he has that in common with our Senate Democrats...

 White House Criticized by GOP for Censoring Sept. 11 Report 
  Good thing the GOP has guts to stand up to Bush - the Dems are too afraid.

  Click  Here

 Senator Richard Shelby on Sunday called on Bush to release most of the classified portions
 of a congressional report on the Sept. 11 attacks, saying the sections were withheld only to
 avoid harming relations with other countries his father's owners in Saudi Arabia.

 A Saudi official last week dismissed any implications in the report of a Riyadh role in the
 Sept. 11 attacks as motivated by political aspirations of Democrats in the next election.

 Sure, he said that after Bush guaranteed them he'd hide the findings from the American voters


"When you personalize a war and are saying that you're killing someone's kids,
  then they,  in turn, think they can kill somebody. . . . I personally don't get any
  satisfaction that it takes 200,000 troops, 250,000 troops, to knock off two bums."
    -- Rep. Charlie Rangel, who you can tell is not a senator because he's not afraid.

 Iraq Flap Shakes Rice's Image 
 Reports Unread, Statements Contradicted mean she's no longer 'the San Fransisco Treat'

  Click  Here

"The remarks by Rice and her associates raise two uncomfortable possibilities for the national security adviser.
 Either she missed or overlooked numerous warnings from intelligence agencies seeking to put caveats on claims
 about Iraq's nuclear weapons program, or she made public claims that she knew to be false.

"If the national security adviser didn't understand the repeated State Department and CIA warnings about the
 uranium allegation, that's a frightening level of incompetence," said Henry Waxman (Go Henry!), who as the
 ranking Democrat on the Government Reform Committee has led the charge on the intelligence issue.
"It's even more serious if she knew and ignored the intelligence warnings and has deliberately misled our nation...
 In any case it's hard to see why the president or the public will have confidence in her office."

Reminder: In Texas, when the blood-thirsty moron was killing a black man every two weeks,
 he gave the same attention to detail as when he sent 246 Americans to their death in Iraq. He didn't read
 anything himself, he asked others to do it for him. He's the laziest president in history, and this is after 9-11.
 His idea of being president is helping the super rich, killing people and going on month long vacations.

"What?  I'm a one-term loser, just like my dad?"

 This is a pretty exciting time for the Allies.
 The Soviets are attacking on the Russian Front,
 the Western Allies are overrunning Sicily and the
 Americans are hitting the Solomon Islands hard.

 Bush Lied, People Died's Journal

  Click  Here


 There's so much there, the excerpt would bigger than this issue.

 Desperate, Wolfowitz links Iraq war to 9/11
   Saw it on

  Click  Here

 Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz has directly linked the war on Iraq to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks,
 ignalling another shift in Washington's defence of a conflict that continues to claim American lives.

 Wolfowitz, in a series of interviews on U.S. television networks yesterday, appeared to ignore intelligence reports,
 which have discredited links between Iraq and Al Qaeda and the war on terrorism.

 He sought to defend President George W. Bush's administration against charges that it had misled Americans on
 the threat posed by deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, saying the government cannot wait for "murky"
 intelligence to crystallize because it may be too late.

"The battle to secure the peace in Iraq is now the central battle on the war on terrorism," Wolfowitz said on
 Tim Russert's Meet the Whore.

 Magruder tell us thirty years ago, Nixon ordered the Watergate break-in and we're all so surprised.
 Thirty years from now, we'll be told there never was any Iraqi threat, the the stupid Bush boy just
 had a hardon to murder a coountry and he remembered one called Iraq from his daddy's days.

 We're being lied to - and young men are dying faster than I can count them - and the Democrats don't
 mind and the crooked American press is helping the liars because there's money in it for them.

 Subject: Fire Condi now!

 The 9/11 Report:
"The report shows that top Bush administration officials were WARNED IN THE SUMMER OF 2001
  that the al Qaeda terrorist network had plans to hijack aircraft and launch a 'spectacular attack.'"

 Condoleezza Rice:
"I don't think anybody could have predicted...that they would try to use an airplane as missile," Rice said.
"Had this president known of something more specific or known that a plane was going to be used as
 a missile, he would have acted on it."

 Reef the Dog

 Because of 9-11, President Bush became Bush the Infallible.
 Because of 9-11, Bush got the power to murder anyone on Earth.
 Because of 9-11, Bush's approval went from 55 to 85.
 Because of 9-11, Bush got to invade two countries and cock walk the Lincoln in an adult's costume.
 Because of 9-11, Bush is stealing a million barrels of Iraqi oil every day.
 Because of 9-11, Bush got to hire Dad's old Iran-Contra thugs and put then in charge of our lives.
 Because of 9-11, Rove created an atmosphere where we HAVE to bote for Bush - to stay alive.

 Don't tell us Bush would have prevented all that if he could.
 The best day Bush ever had in his life was 9-11.

 His old friend Osama gave him the gift that keeps on giving,
 and Bush says there's no reason to concern himself with Osama.

 Magruder Says Nixon Ordered Break-In
  Nixon's comment from Hell: "OK, OK, So I lied about not being a crook..."

  Click  Here

 Jeb Magruder previously said Atty Gen John Mitchell, (R-Crook) approved the plan to
 break into the Democratic Party headquarters at the Watergate office building and bug
 the telephone of the party chairman, Larry O'Brien.

 Magruder, in a PBS documentary airing Wednesday says he was meeting with Mitchell
 on March 30, 1972, when he heard Nixon tell Mitchell over the phone to go ahead with the plan.

 Just more proof that the GOP can't win an election without cheating or breaking the law.

 Bush Nominee (another oil man) for Navy Secretary Commits Suicide
  If it was any other president, this would be big news.
  If it was Clinton's nominee, they ask where he was at the time

  Click  Here

 Bush's nominee to be secretary of the Navy, oil executive Colin McMillan, died on Thursday
 of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head, the New Mexico medical examiners offices said.

 Wait, did the regular coroner make that ruling?  Or did they import a crooked M.E. like Jeb did
 when Florida Rep. Joe Scarborough (R-Scumbag) had a girl die right in his office?


"There's an element of the far left of the Democratic Party that sees as its project scrubbing
  the public square of religion, and in some cases not only religion but of religious people."
    --Sean Rushton, executive director of the Committee for Justice

 No, that's the US Constitution, not the far left Democrats
 If you can't function without religious symbols in the workplace, see a priest.

 US could have 'taken sons alive'
  Can't be from a US paper, they only print good-for-Bush news

  Click  Here

 The US could have captured Saddam's sons alive, a Syrian official said.

 The official also hinted that killing the pair in a US military raid in Iraq might
 have been to cover up past US political dealings with the defunct regime.

 "It was very possible of the United States to capture Oday and Qusay instead of killing them.
 But maybe - and this is very possible - that there are files that the Americans don't want to be uncovered.".

 Shaaban referred to the 1980-88 Iraq-Iran war, saying the Iraqi regime "was pampered by the United States
 and maybe was encouraged in what it did".

 Could this charge be true?

 Rumsfeld with his good friend (and customer) Saddam.

Marty's E! page
Baron Dave Romm on 'The Foremen' - catching up with Roy Zimmerman
Fresh BAGnews
The Wall Street Poet
Traci Lords on Craig Kilborn tonight
Mick Jagger is 60
The Vegas rainbow
Sex Pistols tour
Disney Hall is not aesthetically pleasing
Maxx Payne sues
The Matanuska glacier
Mickey Rooney, honorary mayor of (Girls &) Boys Town
And, elephants with rear-end reflectors


 Try A Little Decent Leadership
   by Col. David H. Hackworth (Ret)

  Click  Here

 Suddenly, the big breaking headline shocker is that our line soldiers in Iraq have a major morale problem.

 Except that anyone who's plugged in knows that military morale is lower than today's interest rates
 – and not just in the Iraqi desert, but pretty much right across the black-boot board.

"Why? Aren't they all volunteers?" you ask. "Why don't they just shut up and do what they signed up for?!!"

 The answer's a no-brainer. We've tasked half the force we had in 1991 with twice the number of missions.
 More than 500,000 GI Joes and Janes are deployed in 120 countries. And a chunk of rubber or a military
 force can only be stretched so far before it snaps. That's what the troops are trying to tell us – that they're
 getting to the breaking point."

"You girls need to stop whining!  Shut up and do your jobs!
  I'm saving America from the threat of Ootie and Cootie!"

Click to visit

 Have a question or a comment?

  Email Bart

 When Bush had his soldiers drag the bodies of Ootie and Cootie thru the streets of Baghdad,
 were the Baghdadians in the street dancing and rejoicing?  If so, I missed that.  I'm sure the
"Bush is the greatest president ever" American press would be wall-to-wall with those
 pictures IF that scenario played out in the streets of Baghdad, so what does that tell us?

 I know some non-thinking knucklehead goof will accuse me of being pro-Ootie and Cootie when
 I say this, but imagine what it would feel like if some superpower invaded America without provocation
 and for no goddamn reason other than to steal the oil in Texas and then corner and then murder the
 president's children and put their bodies on Invader-controlled TV to brag about it.

 Somehow, I don't think we'd be dancing if some bully superpower did that to us under the guise
 of "freeing" us so they could set up our new government in their image and have appointed evil
 oil men tell us what kind of government we're allowed to choose for ourselves.

 Realize this is our government that's doing this, and the entire world is both angry
 and scared as they wonder which country Bush will turn his blood-thirty attention towards next

 Our government  is out of control and killing whomever they want, and they don't need
 a reason or any justification because our military is the most powerful military in the world.
 Our government is controlled my a little boy who sees non-white people as frogs
 that he gets to blow up with firecrackers that are much bigger than the ones he used as a child..

 Worse than that, our government  is run by a religiously insane man who claims
 God spoke to him and gave him a list of the people and countries God wants murdered.

Where are the Democrats?
Why are they allowing this to happen?

 John Kerry, what are you waiting for?

 Joe Lieberman, what are you waiting for?

 Tom Daschle, what are you waiting for?

 John Edwards, what are you waiting for?

 In 15 months, you're going to ask for our votes.
 You're going to have to earn those votes and you need to start NOW!
 Why are you waiting? Why are you refusing to do your jobs?

 Next summer, you're going to have a stump speech accusing Bush of everything,
 but what the hell are you waiting for? I want this war criminal accused today!

 How can you ask us for our votes
 when you're afraid to come to work?

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 Uday and Qusay: The Men Who Knew Too Much
  an editorial from the gang at

  Click  Here

 And how dare anyone question why the remains of Saddam's sons should suddenly show up the week that
 the report on 9/11 is issued or during a period when Bush was on the ropes for lying. And how dare anyone ask
 why the Bush Cartel wouldn't want to try and actually capture Uday and Qusay to obtain information about WMDs,
 Iraqi war plans, Iraqi bad guys still at large, the location of their father, information on the "alleged" relationship with
 Al-Qaeda, and so on. Wouldn't they potentially provide the mother lode of information to corroborate all the Bush
 cartel claims about why Bush led our young men and women to die in Iraq? Come on now, wouldn't the Saddam
 sons be able to prove all the Bush accusers and doubters WRONG?

 Of course, Uday and Qusay weren't taken alive because -- like the Iraqi captured scientists that the Bush Cartel
 will not make available to the media -- Uday and Qusay knew too much.....

 Subject:  snail mail subscription


 Here is for 5 months
 It better be hellraisin' good


 Dude, I'll need your e-mail address to sign you up.
 Send that to me so we can start the hellraisin'

 Also, the clumsy, clunky, half-ass shows are about to go the way of the horse and buggy.
 Tommy Mack is coming onboard the BartCop radio train. Not only will he raise the level
 of production a mile, he will often be on-air and that's going to be exciting.  Unlike me, he
 actually knows what he's doing. He's flying in from Los Angeles to soundproof the studio
 and set up templates that will give the show a more professional sound.  Maybe with his help,
 I'll remember to play the commercial for my only advertiser,

 Click  Here  to listen to a sample of Mack's work.

 What makes a political conservative?

  Click  Here

 Four researchers who culled through 50 years of research literature about the psychology of conservatism
 report that at the core of political conservatism is the resistance to change and a tolerance for inequality,
 and that some of the common psychological factors linked to political conservatism include:

Fear and aggression
Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity
Uncertainty avoidance
Need for cognitive closure
Terror management


"I tell you what makes me mad. Is when I see the names of those youngsters that are being killed
  out there every day. I say, "God help us." I've been there. I've seen this movie before. It was 35
  years ago. I was one of those young 21-year-old, 22, 23-year-old guys. Young Lieutenant, hard charger,
  volunteer. First Air Cavalry Division. Airborne, all this kind of stuff. Hoo-wah, hoo-wah, hoo-wah.
  And we got great young soldiers. And I've been at Bethesda and Walter Reade, and I've seen their
  legs blown off. And I've seen their eyes gone. And that's what bothers me."
    --Max Cleland,  Attribution

 Out of Their Cages
  by the She-Thing o' The Whore Times

  Click  Here

 Years ago, Darrell Issa, the right-wing millionaire congressman from San Diego who bankrolled the recall drive,
 was arrested twice on car theft charges. He ended up making his $100 million fortune developing the Viper
 alarm system, in which his own voice warns thieves to "please step away from the car." Now he is trying to
 hot-wire the political system and speed away with the governorship.

"The recall provision was created to get rid of governors guilty of malfeasance — not so malfeasers could
 put themselves into office," sniffs Chris Lehane, a Gray Davis recall adviser.

Complete Tour de Lance coverage!
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Check out BartCopSports!

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"In a few days they will show us another fat body with a beard and say it’s Saddam.”
    --Zohair Maty, a 30-year-old Iraqi laborer, skeptical that Ootie.Cootie pictures were authentic

 You're not alone, Zohair.
 We don't believe Bush either.

 Plus, we're sorry about what Bush did to your country, but please don't blame regular Americans.
 We voted for Gore, but our Supreme Court is crooked and they installed this monster against the wishes of the voters.

 In the Political Arena, it's Total War

  Click  Here

 From the impeachment of Bill Clinton on a virtual party-line vote, to the routine use of the filibuster
 by both parties to block nominations in the Senate, to the recall election now confronting Gray Davis,
 the boundaries of civilized behavior in the political world are crumbling. If there was ever a Geneva
 Convention in politics — a set of rules that governed even the fiercest combat — it has lapsed.
 The only rule is that there are no longer any rules. In American politics, we now live in an age of total war.

 Yeah, but only one side is fighting.
 Republicans go thru Democrats like our military went thru Basra.

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 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  244 246

 Note: Believe this figure.
 It's from

 The news came in that two more boys were killed as I was writing this.
 That's depressing, and it will continue to get worse.

 Will we have 500 dead by Thanksgiving? Christmas?

 Meanwhile, the never-elected Smirky McWarhardon is working hard...

 ...on his putting...

 Call the 

You have two minutes to rant away.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 Shirley - call The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Maybe leave a two-minute message...

 I'll play it for your fans at
 Maybe say some nasty things about fascist monkey called Bush.
 Shirley, as far as I know, our politics are identical.

Bush is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a stupid criminal and a greedy, blood-loving bastard.

 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard Rock on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of quality humor.
 Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)

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