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The great Bruce Yurgil
That look on Smirk's face!
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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"As to direct connections between Iran
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"You get what he's saying here? [laughter]
Uh-huh. He's saying, it's -- and -- and -- he's in his own way,
what this looks like, well, why don't you just -- OK, Johns, why don't you finish. Just, you know, stop
play-acting, stop pretending, stop the little rump pats, stop with the tousled hair. Let's see the kiss.
Let's see the smooch. You're putting your hands on his face. He's putting his hands on your face.
You're cupping each other. Well, let -- let's just -- let's just -- let's cement this."
--Rush Limbaugh, one hand in his pants, commenting on an American Spectator "Editor's Desk" column
titled "Hugs and Kisses," by executive editor Wlady Pleszczynski, who wrote, "By refusing to kiss in public,
Kerry and Edwards are displaying a residual heterosexist bias." Attribution
Remember, Rush is the guy who can't get a woman to stay with him.
We've heard the rumors for years
that Rush needs a "beard," which means someone to play the loving, devoted wife while he has his own
sexual needs that don't require. As Randi Rhodes pointed out, do you think it's a coincidnece that Marta
stayed a few days more than ten years? Can we safely assume the pre-nup had a ten year clause?
Rush is a master at taking his "faults" and projecting them onto others.
Does this mean somebody cares about the missing trillions?
A U.S. grand jury issued a subpoena to Halliburton seeking information about its Cayman Islands
unit's work in Iran, where it is illegal for U.S. companies to operate, Halliburton said on Monday.
Cheney's Halliburton said it understood
that the investigation of its subsidiary's work in Iran had been
transferred to the DOJ from Treasury, where Bush has more people on the BFEE payroll.
They'll put Lee Hamilton in charge of this
investigation, and he'll determine that in the rush to war
good men made honest mistakes and, ...should'nt we all pull to\gether to defeat the bad guys?
"Lee is like family..."
"It's almost as if the motto of the administration
in power today in Washington is not
environmental protection, but polluter protection. I find this deeply disturbing."
--Russell Train, Republican who headed the EPA from 1973-77, saying Bush's environmental
record is so dismal that he will vote for Kerry, Attribution
a fella - JSY
from Pittsburgh - who has done a whole lot
for his country and the world at large - and rumor has it he reads bartcop.com
As a Youngster, he put a few dimes together and chased the Devil
away, he also did
some important work on a little project in Manhattan that very few people know about,
and even today, he's helping the whole world breathe a little easier.
As a young man, "Juli" risked his life to make a difference -
he gambled, BIG, and won.
He took gambles I wouldn't take in a thousand lifetimes and his courage paid off.
His team beat up the bully who had taken down presidents and children, alike.
Not once, not twice, but at least three times
he did something really special and his
pioneering work became standard procedure in medical labs around the world, so I
thought the very least we could do was offer up a shot of Chinaco for him.
Juli, of all the awards you've received in your long and productive
this is surely the most meaningless, but it's all I have to give.
Juli, this shot of Chinaco is for you.
Thank you for doing what you did and taking those risks.
As the kids say, "You rock!"
"We were flat out lied to by the president,
by the vice president and by the secretary of defense."
--Max Cleland, speaking plain English that even the South might understand Attribution
Surveillance targeted to convention
...most video cameras ever during DemoCon 2004, with Boston police installing some
30 cameras near the FleetCenter, the Coast Guard using infrared devices and night-vision
cameras in the harbor, and dozens of pieces of surveillance equipment mounted on downtown
buildings to monitor crowds for terrorists, unruly demonstrators, and ordinary street crime.
''This is really a situation where we are really
being asked to blindly trust the government.
There is no oversight of this. There are no safeguards," said the ACLU's Barry Steinhardt.
Can we Democrats man the same amount of cameras in New York for
No oversite? So safeguard?
At least get a written guarantee that both sides will be equal
Don't lert them watch us unless our guys egt to watch and verify them.
"President Bush has led the way on improving
veterans' benefits, supporting our troops
and restoring honor and dignity to the White House."
-- 21 Medal of Honor recipients who are happy with Bush cut to Veteran services Attribution
"Considering that George Bush actively avoided
combat duty and has pursued policies that
have made the nation less secure, he is on very shaky ground when it comes to questioning
the commitment that Vietnam vet John Kerry has to our national security. This is just more
attack-dog politicking by an increasingly desperate, partisan White House."
--Max Cleland, gave an arm and both legs for his country, yet that punk-ass Saxby Chambliss
called him "another Osama bin Laden" for not voting with black-hearted Republican bastards,
and in "hang-a-nigger" Georgia, that's a winning strategy Attribution
Marty's Entertainment Page
"They had two levels of evidence. Anything
that would confirm WMD in Iraq - very little scrutiny.
Anything that showed Iraq did not have WMDs had a much higher gate to pass because if it were true,
all of US policy towards Iraq would have fallen asunder."
--David Kay, Bush's hand-picked "truth-finder," calling Bush a lying warmonger Attribution
Subject: Billy Goat vs Hard Rock
Oh, Bart and Mrs. Bart,
I can't believe you skipped Billy Goat's and ate at the f-ing Hard Rock?!
I'm guessing you're an unmarried person
Billy's is a Chicago landmark, part of the
It's full of character and that special charm you only find in a greasy, friendly local joint.
The Hard Rock is a damned chain restaurant/store!
Info on the Tavern:
I hope Mrs. Bart reconsiders before you
Julie, you should know me better than that by now...
We had Cheezborgers yesterday - she even ate one.
The whole crew stayed in character the whole time.
People would say, "Can I get fries with that?"
And the guys would bark, "No fries - cheeps!"
I couldn't remember if it was Coke or Pepsi,
so I ordered a Pepsi and he said, "No Pepsi...Coke!"
I didn't know this was the tavern that created the Cub's Hex.
The story goes, some guy in 1921 (?) wanted to bring his goat
into the tavern and they refused so he put a hex on them that the
Cubs would never win a World Series because of the goat-denial.
...and the burgers were good.
Mosquitoes May Prevent Infection
It's the Bush health plan for seniors - the "Flick Away Disease Initiative"
in Guinea Digs Up 182-Carat Diamond
Has anybody checked in on Drudge?
9/11 to Screen Near Bush's Hometown
Bush should be forced to watch this strapped to a polygraph
Americans Discovered by Democratic Party
by Greg Palast, trouble maker and rabble rouser
According to data from the US Civil Rights Commission and the Harvard University Law School
Civil Rights Project, about half the nation's spoiled ballots -- one million -- were cast by Black folk.
Just as African American communities get the worst schools, the worst hospitals, they also get dumped
with the worst voting machines, which eat, mismark, mangle and void ballots.
Poof! A million Black votes gone, zapped, vanished.
And the nasty secret is that for years that
suited many white leaders of local and state Democratic organizations
-- Zell Miller of Georgia is a case in point -- who feared Black voters as much as they feared Republicans.
But change is coming, and not because John
Kerry and the men who think for him have changed. Change is
coming because African-American leaders are getting uppity about the Democratic Party taking or leaving the
African-American voter as the mood and arithmetic pleases.
"Darkies have no business voting, anyway..."
Subject: Why Tiger Woods is still Number One
I just wanted to help you out understanding
how Tiger Woods is still top-ranked.
The Official World Golf Ranking (http://www.officialworldgolfranking.com) is similar
to the way the pro tennis tours figure out who is number 1.
He is still number one because he had accumulated
such a monstrous lead since he won his
last major in 2001 that it has taken him this long to give most of the lead back. All of those
10th-20th-placed finishes were still enough to keep him comfortably ahead since he was so
far ahead when he was in the top 3 every other week. Back in 2000, I remember the guys
at the Masters say that Tiger's lead in the World Rankings was so big that he could quit
playing for a year and STILL be #1.
Daniel in H-Town.
Dan, that sounds like a rigged system to let a "popular" player
pretend he's Number One
when he's getting the hell beat out of him week after week for two years.
Imagine a heavyweight boxing champ who gets knocked out in the
first round of
every fight for three loooooooooooooong years and he's still champion?
Would they give the batting title to a guy who used to be a good hitter?
Would they give MVP to a quarterback who threw five times more
I think we all need to remember that the PGA is NOT here because
they love golf
and they want to protect the dignity of the game and respect the hisorical blah, blah, blah.
The PGA exists to make money, and they can make more with "Mr
he can play golf than by letting the best player win the title. "Tiger" lost most of his powers
in July 2001, he hasn't won a major in two years, and they said he could come in 16th
last weekend and still be the top-ranked player in the game. Gee, and I thought they
set the bar low for Dubya.
Trust me - Don King and pro boxing have more credibility than thr PGA
...just one man's opinion, backed up with facts.
After years of Nazi nonsense books,
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Bush sells out Women and Children
For the third consecutive year the Bush administration has decided not to release $34 million
appropriated by Congress to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA). The administration
claims that the funds are being withheld because "the fund indirectly supports Chinese government
programs that force women to have abortions." Although this explanation is popularwith Bush's
conservative base, it is wholly unsupported by the facts.
Play Poker online with Bart
Friday in Chicago
A handful of players made it into Chicago Friday night.
We had enticing e-mails from several people, but this one lady mentioned her roof.
She said if the weather was nice, we could party up there and that reminded me of
those people watching the Cubs game from across the street from Wrigley Stadium.
Jim, Sam and I came to the same conclusion: Party on the
Six or eight of us headed over there in two cabs.
There were only about 60 steps to be negotiated to get to her apartment.
Once inside, someone said, "There's the
poster," and I thought, "...the poster?"
I looked up and saw the poster, and bells started going off in my head.
I looked at the poster, I looked at the Roof Lady, back to the poster, back to her,
and I'll be darned if we weren't caught up in a coincidence not contrived for this story.
Remember this picture from a few months back?
That was the poster hanging on the Roof Lady's wall.
Since I have the IQ of eight squared, I asked myself,
"How did the Roof Lady get possession of that protestor's sign?"
Minutes went by, and then utilizing the incredible mind God gave
me, I figured it out:
The Protestor's secret identity was The Roof Lady!!
You see? I'm not stupid, ...not like people say...
BTW, her apartment was so clean, it looked like Martha Stewart's cooking studio.
For reasons I still don't understand, Poker Queen & Buck showed
up out of the blue.
How did they know where we were? Who gave them directions?
Then, ...the Ascension!
To get to the Roof Lady's upstairs, there were another 45 stairs
or so, ...and if you wanted to
get to the roof, it was only another three dozens steps. (The Roof Lady is in really good shape!)
A few minutes later, LA Rick called from O'Hare Airport.
Giving him directions to the party was a comedy highlight of the night.
Finally, the gang was
all mostly here, and the
Drinks were consumed, lies were told, and laughter was heard.
I remember pieces of an audio tour of the Nevada desert, but details aren't clear.
We had the most comfortable furniture to relax on and greenery was everywhere.
Oh, and did I mention the view the party had?
The view was a lot like the one Frasier had on his TV balcony,
but with more trees.
And if you thought I was kidding about the steps, notice the top of the Sears tower is
only a few feet taller than our position - that's how high we were (cough).
Seems like there was also some talk of particle beam physics and
how to accellerate
those particles until they did something, ...I don't know. I was still patting myself on
the back for figuring out the deal with the protest sign.
Joe B and I left after a while, not sure how late the others partied.
We went back to the hotel
and then, after being properly medicated, I showed Joe B the finer points of online Texas Hold 'em.
Joe told me he hadn't played poker in 25 years or so, and he was giving me that, "Does a straight
beat a pair?" kind of hustle talk, yet, when we played the very first tournament, I noticed Joe was
still in after I got knocked out. Turns out he won money and Ol' Bart came up empty.
It was a party we won't forget, thanks to the Roof Lady's hospitality!
is very different from anything you've ever heard before.
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many reporters in washington are doing their job?
As far as I can tell - just one - the great Helen Thomas.
Thomas: Prime Minister Blair took
full personal responsibility for taking his nation into war
under falsehoods -- under reasons that have been determined now to be false. Is President
Bush also willing to take full, personal responsibility --
McClellan: I think Prime Minister Blair said that it was the right thing to do; that Saddam Hussein's regime was a threat.
Thomas: Those were not the reasons
he took his country into war. It turned out to be untrue,
and the same is true for us. Does the President take full, personal responsibility for this war?
The issue here is what do you to with a threat in a post-September 11th
world? Either you live with a threat,
or you confront the threat.
Thomas: There was no threat.
McClellan: The President made the decision to confront the threat.
Thomas: Saddam Hussein did not threaten this country.
The world -- the world, the Congress and the administration all disagree.
They all recognized that there was
a threat posed by Saddam Hussein. When it came to September 11th, that changed the equation. It taught us, as I said --
Thomas: The Intelligence Committee said there was no threat.
McClellan: As I said, it taught us that we must confront threats before it's too late.
Helen Thomas: So the President doesn't take full responsibility?
--Helen Thomas questioning Scott McClellan at a press briefing, 07/19/04,
A shot of Jose Cuervo to the suck-up cowards and simpletons who pretend
to be reporters but their real job is to shill lies for the never-elected Monkey.
Shame on the lazy bastards who do not seek the truth as Helen Thomas does.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
895, 896 dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain
"We are the right-wing freedom fighters - we
are out there
and are just as animated as the protesters can be."
--Jason Sager, of Brooklyn, member of "Protest Warriors",
the group planning to protest the protestors at NaziCon 2004 Attribution
The right-wing, pro-Bush major media is giving these handjobs tons of
free publicity because they want them to succeed, but the truth is, this "group"
claims they have 3,000 members, but if they grew ten times bigger, they still
couldn't match one day's readers of bartcop.com
For the sake of argument, let's
say they have 3,000 members. There's not
one in the whole bunch who could last a few rounds in the live debate room
because they are lying and we have the truth on our side. Can they stand
there and hold a sign? Sure - even Bush could do that, but why bother if
they can't defend their views in a live debate?
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It had everything.
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Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.
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