Woke up 'is mornin', got myself some corn
thankin' the Keeper, fallettin' me be born
Woke up 'is mornin', Chinaco in my hands
crank up the Nak, gonna hear my favorite bands
party under a black sky, blue agave in my eye
Some Led, some Pink, maybe some U2
a friendly Jersey family, prob-ly Season Deux
Salsa, chicken, salad, ...a salty garlic stick
salsa, wowie, (cough, cough) ...learnin' some new tricks
party under a black sky, blue agave in my eye
Woke up 'is mornin', got myself some corn
wine, woman and song, much more than the norm
Seems like it's all here, fighting off the bore
how do I like it how do I like it more more more
party under a black sky, blue agave in my eye
The Shortest E-Mail ever to bartcop.com
From: john_l_pettit@web-runner.com
Subject:
Red Faced Mail
From: bsutherland@ohiohistory.org
Subject: So, the rumor is true.
Dennis Miller in the booth!
What a rumor!
So does that mean smirk will be president?
Ha ha!
Brandon
Sure, I plead guilty to the knee-jerk, first-reaction bad quess.
Or, like the Pigboy, I could predict just the obvious and claim
victory every time.
In my pitiful defense,
that was a "can't-be" gut reaction because,
if we can believe the people talking about it in the sports world,
things like this just don't happen.
Miller's news hit me like a Shawn Mosley punch.
It just didn't seem possible at the time.
Watching the Gore victory is like watching a glacier slide -
slow, but inevitable.
If there had been time to put money on the Miller appointment,
I wooda,
but it happened too quick.
But I've got all kinds of time and money to bet on Gore,
but even the insane ditto-monkey gamblers refuse to bet on Smirk.
...they know what's coming,
From: judy@ezrater.com
Subject: too funny
BartCop,
Check out Salon's Table Talk
--
Death Penalty Politics discussion.
Ending the death penalty would be a piece of cake
if we had a lottery for everyone arrested in capital cases
• As soon as you are arrested for murder, the first thing you
would do is
draw cards from a hat. The choices for rich and poor, dark or
light,
influential or obscure would be the same:
1) outright dismissal of the charges;
2) plea-bargain to lesser charge;
3) full-blown trial.
• If you draw the trial option, you would then draw another card:
1) expensive private lawyer and three investigators;
2) competent, gung-ho public defender;
3) sleepy, corrupt, soon-to-be-disbarred public defender who
you
will meet the day before the trial
• For your final card:
1) judge who believes and rules along hoary constitutional guidelines
that say you're innocent until proved guilty;
2) judge who believes like some Texas Supreme Court justices
that
you must prove you're innocent
Of course, this lottery would be grossly unfair.
But for the poor and dark-skinned in Texas, it would be a vast
improvement.
At least they'd have a chance of getting a fair hearing.
Judy Erensoy
From: sabutai@ix.netcom.com
Subject: Great Bill Maher Quote
"George W is not that bright. I asked him recently,
'Have you ever had an SUV?'
And he said,
'No, but it's a good idea to get tested.'''
Bill Maher
Mail Bag
From: Paulwetor@aol.com
Subject: Here's An Idea
Maybe politicians should look like Nascar drivers,
with sponsor logos all over their suits.
ha ha
That's the best (profane word) idea I've heard this year!
That way, Gore's suit would say,
"Teachers, unions, blacks, middle-class, immigrants,
gays, intellectuals, working people, single moms
and poor folk."
Smirk's suit would say,
"Big Cancer, Big Oil, NRA, Bob Jones, Coathanger Coalition, KKK
and the CCC!"
That way, the dittoheads who read would have to admit who's propping up Smirk.
Feedback
From: bluesgun@bpsinet.com
Subject: re:stupid voters guide
I just read "the latest" and came
to the stupid voters guide .
well bc, it looks like you have produced
another great issue
except for the "bonus" at the end of that
particular column.
the real bonus will be that Al will keep
Evan , because he is smarter
than Al and Hillary and Bill all put together,
and is better looking to boot.
evan also has no nasty skeletons lurking
in his closets which means landslide in 2008.
the fact that I am a hoosier didn't sway
this opinion any.
ha ha
oh yeah you probably saw it already but
our Dem. Gov. just suspended the 5% gas tax
here in basketball land , who'd a thunk
it, took a liberal governor to get a tax break .
bluezgun
Bluezgun,
Smarter than Al?
Maybe.
Smarter than Bill?
Doubtful.
Smarter than Hillary?
ha ha
By the way, thanks to Clinton, the Democrats
have become the party of fiscal responsibility.
Another Republican Hatchet Job
The latest leaked charges against Al Gore are
more
the product of partisan politics than any new
hard evidence.
By my good friend Joe Conason
From: silly@freeality.com
Subject: Do you and your wife "swing"?
Blonde Girl
Blonde Girl,
Yes, if Sean Connery and Angie Harmon ask, we do.
Rick the Lick's Positive Campaign
"She's not going to destroy this life," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"And she's not going to destroy any New Yorkers' lives," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"The Clinton camp has got to answer for itself," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"The people of New York will judge her behavior," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"This campaign has been brutal," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"She's trying to drag me through the mud," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"I'm not going to let her do it," Lazio said of the First Lady.
"The other camp is about tearing people down," Lazio said of the First Lady.
.
The Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating how The
Lick
made a quick $14,000 profit on options buying Quick & Reilly stock.
Lazio invested $2,300 and sold his options, after the phone call,
for $16,000.
The Clinton campaign yesterday unveiled a new TV ad hammering Lazio
for skipping a key vote last week that could have lowered state oil
prices,
proving Lazio doesn't care about New Yorkers as much as Hillary.
ha ha
Even as the commercial was set to hit the airwaves, Lazio was AWOL
for more votes in Congress so he could attend fund-raisers in New York.
Christ, I'm gonna miss him next year...
From: BenLett@netscape.net
Subject: Perdiction
You wrote:
>The conventions will change everything.
>Smirk's cocaine arrest photos will change everything..
>Pat Buchanan will change everything.
>The debates will change everything,
Does each thing change the thing before
it??
Does this mean everything is in chaos?
Benjamin Lett
Benjamin,
It's going to look like a boxing match in slow motion.
I wish I could remember the opponent, but just before his decline
started,
when he still had his all magic, Sugar Ray Leonard was fighting
some guy
and hit him with a vicious left-right-left combination that dropped
the guy.
(Might've been Ayub Kalule...? African dude with muscles...)
But if you rewind the tape, you see that the guy was knocked out
from
the first left, his eyes rolled in the back of his head and his
brain shut off.
But before his legs had a chance to get the "shut down" e-mail
from the brain
Sugar Ray popped him again, twice - while he was standing
there, unconscious.
I think Smirk's final round will look the same way.
He's not going to lose a close decision.
Gore might kill him in the ring.
Newsmax.com, a company
so intent on getting noticed, they make shit up,
described Dennis Miller this way:
In a major slap in the face to Rush Limbaugh
and the millions of conservatives
he represents, ABC recently nixed any idea
of the celebrated radio host
appearing as an announcer on "Monday Night
Football."
To add insult to injury, ABC/Disney announced
that Dennis Miller,
a notoriously left-wing comedian...
Why do they keep doing that?
How left-wing can Miller be if he hates both Clintons,
especially Hillary.
Jesus! Did you see the show he did with Christine Lahti?
He tore into Hillary like few non-Nazi's ever have, and said he
didn't know
anybody who liked her. Lahti replied, "I do - I
know her and I like her - a lot,"
Miller said, "Christ that took courage after the rant I just
did."
So, once again, this is the fault of the vulgar Pigboy.
Everybody this side of Tim McVeigh is "notoriously left-wing."
...but those newsmax.com bombers are a real hoot.
It's like the Freepers with fewer page turns.
They have the same credibility as Fox News and Tim Russert
Freeper Mail
Question: Where's our victories, damn it? VANITY
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous Keywords: VANITY,
VICTORIES, POLITICAL AND LEGAL BATTLES
Published: 06/23/00 Author: Conservative X (aka
Lowbridge)
Posted on 06/23/2000 16:26:53 PDT by Conservative
X
A question for all Freepers: Looking over
the news this past week, today alone,
has been quite depressing. Elian's family loses
court battle, Gov. Pataki in New York
pushes through outrageous gun control laws, Independent
Counsel finds that Hillary lied
but chooses to let her slide, Janet Reno promises
to investigate Gore...at her own slow pace,
Republican Party giving us only RINO's after
RINO's to vote for,
Dennis Miller get's Monday Night Football job...over
Rush Limbaugh, etc., etc.
But, my question to everybody is:
WHERE AND WHEN DO WE START TO WIN POLITICAL AND
LEGAL BATTLES
LIKE THESE AND WIN THIS OFTEN????
Let's draw straws.
The loser tells him the bad news about Nov 7th.
ha ha
I feel a little better, don't you?
Hey!
That looks like Susie Molinari's bong!
ha ha
Caution: Bush Voter Crossing
From: Darkspyre@aol.com
Subject: You are a dumbass
Your website is gay, but so are you probably.
Are you too stupid to realize
that Bush could do NOTHING to save that
black murdering bastard?
He does something that fool faggot Clinton
could never do,
uphold the laws of the people who elected
him.
The black murdering bastard had already
had his stay of execution,
and had many many many many many appeals,
which turned up nothing.
Stop your cry baby whining you pinko liberal
bastard AHAHAHAHAHA
....the fucking bastard is dead.
He deserved it.
Get over it loser.
Fuck off
So when I vote for Gore, I'll cancel out
your vote?
It's my duty to do my duty.
I had reason to re-visit Volume 119.
I usually don't recommend cruising the archived issues,
but if you were gonna, you might check out Volume 119.
Codicil - Not mentioned earlier, the lack of a suicide motive.
The day Reeves died, he was told Superman
was going back into production
and that he would be directing some episodes,
something he really wanted.
Odd time to check out, don't you think?
By any chance, did you see "Downtown 20/20" last night?
They investigated the murder of George Reeves, TV's first Superman.
Their brilliant conclusion?
It was suicide.
Fair enough, but they failed to explain how, after shooting himself
in the
temple with a Luger, Reeves was able to wipe his fingerprints
off the gun.
Besides no fingerprints on the gun,
no powder burns were on George's head wound.
No powder burns were found on his hands.
The spent shell was found underneath his body.
The gun was found between his feet.
The bullet was recovered from the ceiling.
Two other bullet holes were found in the bedroom floor
and the bullets themselves were recovered from the living room
below.
However, only one bullet was missing from the gun's magazine.
So the other bullets were fired earlier and two bullets were
replaced.
But if Baba Wawa and Diane the whore say it happened that way,
we should trust the press because they're honest, right?
Christ, we can't figure out who killed the Kennedy's,
so why would anyone think we can get the truth in thiscase?
Partisan Bastard Quotes
"With respect to Mrs. Clinton, there was
substantial evidence that she
had a "role" in the decision to
fire the travel office employees,
but the evidence was insufficient to prove
it to a jury beyond a doubt.
Hey, asshole!
There's PROOF that Nancy's fucking astrologer had a "role"
in
the delay of
the signing of the Reyjavik treaty, but the Democrats didn't
try to jail her over it.
Only a party of impotent sons-of-bitches would consider imprisoning
a First Lady.
Do me a favor: Go after Bill in eight months, when he's
free to defend himself.
We've witnesses a few lite Clinton workouts, but we've never
really seen him fight.
I., for one, would pay to watch that.
Strange Racist Quotes
He
shoots...
"Hillary could announce that she's pregnant with
Louis Farrakhan's baby and her numbers wouldn't change."
--"independent" pollster John Zogby, (R-prick)
He
scores...
"I didn't even know Hillary was sleeping with Farrakhan,"
-- tens of thousands of Rush ditto-monkeys
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
Janet Reno has approved more independent and special counsels
than any
Attorney General in history -- calling for investigations of
the President,
the First Lady, the Secretary of Commerce, the Secretary of Agriculture,
the Secretary of HUD, the Secretary of Labor, the Secretary of
the Interior,
and probably more that I've forgotten. To accuse her of "protecting"
a Democratic Administration is nonsense.
By the way, let's look at the scorecard: The President and First
Lady have
been cleared by the Independent Counsel in the two reports he's
issued thus far.
And even Ken Starr could not find any charges to bring in the
Whitewater matter.
Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy was cleared by a jury. Housing
Secretary Henry
Cisneros pleaded guilty to one minor charge involving how much
financial support
he gave to his mistress long before he was in the Cabinet.
Labor Secretary Alexis Herman has been cleared by her independent
counsel, as
was Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt. Lord knows how many tens
of millions of
dollars have been spent in these investigations -- and how many
sleepless nights
their innocent targets suffered.
But the politics of personal destruction keeps marching on, fed
by a media-political
culture whose appetite for scandal -- real or imagined -- is
insatiable.
It was 1974, and Hank Aaron was rounding the
bases having just smashed
home run No. 715 over the right-field fence.
As cannons in the outfield fired
to celebrate the shattering of Babe Ruth's
record, Aaron's mother ran onto
the field and into the arms of her son, tears
brimming in her eyes.
Mrs. Aaron wasn't just proud of her son.
There's a darker story behind the story.
She rushed the plate because she thought her
son had been shot.
As Aaron closed in on Ruth's "Record That Couldn't
Be Broken,"
Aaron and his family were on the receiving
end of death threats
"My grandmother thought someone was shooting
at Daddy," Gaile Aaron said.
"And she was holding him like that because
she was saying if they're gonna
kill him, we're gonna go down together.
She was going to go down with him."
The Braves assigned a bodyguard to protect
him. His daughter had a posse of
undercover agents orbiting her every move
at Fisk Univeristy in Nashville.
Armed guards escorted her younger siblings
to
school in Atlanta.
To this day, Aaron won't ride in a convertible.
He doesn't want to give an assasin an easy
shot.
From a book by Sandy Tolan
Me and Hank: A Boy and His Hero
25 Years Later
It's rare that I'm ashamed to be an American.
But when that happens, it's almost always over a
religious conservative trying to murder a black man.
Breaking News...
Court to Marisleazes: Whiner, get a life!
Millermania
"No one is more full of himself, or, for that matter, more full, than
Rush Limbaugh,"
Dennis Miller recently said of the nation's top Nazi pig.
Pigboy fights back:
"Rush is too controversial? And Miller is not? Miller uses the 'F-word'
every chance
he gets on his HBO show. Has this guy been vetted?"
asked one Limbaugh supporter, digging for dirt on Miller.
Miller's recent comments have caused immediate outrage among Limbaugh fans.
"Limbaugh is emblematic of what's wrong with the medium," rants Miller.
"I don't have all that much to say about Rush Limbaugh, because Al Franken
already wrote a book that cut him into ten million pieces,
each of which weighed roughly half a pound."
During a Comic Relief concert, Miller gave a 'thumbs-up' when
host Whoopi Goldberg called Limbaugh a "fat asshole."
Great Batman-extras Quotes
"I see a lot of Texas oil companies having skyrocketing profits
at
the same time all of us are paying huge increases at the pump.
That might make Smirk more popular in Texas, but not in the
other 49 states."
-- Sen. Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vt.)
Miller-gate
From: wezeldog@gate.net
Subject: Monday Night Miller
The local sports station here (620WDAE)
thinks that ABC never intended to let
Rush in the booth. The theory goes like
this: ABC wanted to put a non-football type
in the booth. They knew that if they asked
Rush to audition, the windbag would
spend months yakking it up. That softened
up America for Dennis.
I'll watch a Redskin/Atlanta game. I can't
wait for Miller to slip up, though.
He does get paid by the fuck, you know....
ha ha
He does not!
That was Rabbi Schlessinger's pay in the early days...
Besides Dennis Miller, the sports pages are teeming with reports
that Mike Tyson assaulted his fight promoter in Scotland.
Didn't bartcop.com have that story last week?
...and will this fight (Showtime Tomorrow night) be competitive
not that "Iron Mike" Tyson has taken to wearing lil' checked skirts?
A Closer Look at the Death Penalty
by Christian Mitchell
24 Hours of Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller attacks the vulgar Pigboy in his book:
"Hey, the only thing greater than America's
love affair with
talk radio is the love affair the hosts
seem to have with themselves.
Limbaugh articulates the blindingly white
anger
of every short-sleeved Wal-Mart assistant
manager
who's outraged by a black kid calling
him by his first name."
Tonight's Dennis Miller Show should be interesting.
He's gotta know that millions of curious viewers will be
tuning in to see what this new guy is like.
Will he tone down the profanity to please the new bosses?
Will he become "mainstream Dennis?"
Will he turn whore for ABC?
Right now, Miller is the second-funniest man in America,
but he has something that even Chris Rock doesn't have.
Watch his show tonight.
When a joke bombs, he refuses to accept it.
He'll either glare back at the crowd and explain where he meant
to go with that joke or he'll apologize and say, "I told the
writers
just before I walked out here that that joke would fuck me over."
Nobody else can do that.
Dave used to, back when he still had that edge.
Dave used to double-over like he'd been hit in the stomach when
a joke bombed,
but he's stopped doing that when he won that $42,000,000 comedy
lottery.
Bill Maher has great writers, but he's not a comedian.
When a Leno formula joke bombs, he panics and goes right into
the next formula joke.
But not Dennis.
He'll stand there with his joke and fuck with it, play with it
and make it his bitch.
Even Carson at his prime couldn't do that.
Smirk's vision for black America.
......
From: blonde_redhead00@hotmail.com
Subject: question about the polls
Hey Bartcop,
I noticed a link to a site that claimed
Bushy's lead doubled over
the death penalty issue. I'm suspicious
of that claim though,
When you go to this site:
http://www.gallup.com/election2000/issues.htm
you'll see the Gore leads in most major
issues. And according to the Gallup
people the race is close: 48% choose Bush,
44% choose Gore. Even Zogby,
Pig-butt's favorite, has them close; Bush
at 49%, Gore at 41%.
Like you said, the horse race hasn't started
yet, so I equate these pre-race numbers
to being kinda like Vegas figuring out
the odds of who'll win. Yet I've heard guys like
Hannity and Steve Malzberg(local NYC guy)
on talk radio crowing about how the
Repo is ahead.
My question is: Do you think these guys
are celebrating prematurely,
or do you think they've got reason to be
happy?
Regis
Regis, this is the closest they've come to a win since November
1988.
Their good news is Smirk hasn't lost yet!
They'd be crazy not to pretend.
One of the advantages to getting old is memory retention.
In 1992 and 1996, Rush explained every day to his sheep that
the Democrats
were in "abject panic" because we knew in our hearts" we were
going to lose.
In 1992, Rush did one of his "creation-science" polls that had
Bush at 91 percent
and the dope-smoking, draft-dodging, skirt-chasing KGB agent
at 7 percent.
He was so shocked when Clinton won.
The conventions will change everything.
Smirk's cocaine arrest photos will change everything..
Pat Buchanan will change everything.
The debates will change everything,
Halloween is the time to get spooked.
If Smirk is ten points ahead on October 31, that'd mean
Smirk has a 50/50 chance to be our next president.
Dennis Miller's anti-Hillary Rant
Hillary
Ah, Hillary. What can you say about Hillary Clinton
that hasn't
already been muttered under somebody else's breath?
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but
love Hillary Clinton
or hate her, you'd better get used to her because,
like a retired Celine Dion,
she's not going away any time soon.
Now, traditionally the role of the First Lady
has been maintaining an
inviting atmosphere at the White House and then
picking a special pet project
to keep her occupied. Jackie Kennedy chose celebrating
the arts,
Lady Bird Johnson the environment. Hillary Clinton's
pet project?
Total world domination.
Look, I won't lie to you. This country has a deep
fear and mistrust of strong, smart,
accomplished, outspoken women unless they're
sexy 22-year-olds killing vampires on television.
But what do we really know about Hillary, other
than that she's had more make overs
than Sammy "The Bull" Gravano's wife?
Well, for one thing, we know Hillary is an insanely
loyal spouse.
I don't understand how she can be in the same
house as Bill without wacking him
in the nuts with a polo mallet every time he
falls asleep on the couch.
But the Clintons are a rare breed. For many people
the idea of running for office,
forcing the public to choose whether they like
you or not, would be a nightmare.
But Hillary and Bill need the assurance that
46% of the country loves them, and the other 54%
is out to get them. That's why I'm different.
I know all of you like me. Right? Don't you?
[HIT APPLAUSE SIGN, SHOW APPLAUSE SIGN ON CAMERA]
See, I knew I was right.
Bill and Hillary possess that rare blend of grade
A Machiavellian caginess combined
with the luck of a two-time Powerball winner.
Who but the Clintons could see one of
their opponents bow out of a senate race plagued
by, of all things, charges of marital infidelity?
I'm sure when reports about Giuliani's mistress
surfaced, the Clintons laughed so hard
they could almost hear each other from across
the hall in their separate bedrooms.
Now, critics have asked why Hillary chose to run
in New York instead of Arkansas.
You know, I think it has something to do with
Arkansas being in Arkansas.
But New York? Who does she think she's fooling?
Hillary Clinton actually had to go
on a listening tour to find out what the residents
of New York want. C'mon, you can't
spend fifteen seconds with a New Yorker without
discovering not only what he wants,
but who he wants dead and when he was last operated
on. And believe it or not,
New Yorkers are buying it. She's actually working
her magic on a bunch of people
who pride themselves on the fact that they cannot
be snookered. I can only assume
this is karma for fucking the Indians over on
that bead thing.
I can't believe they can't see how phony she is.
Don't they see through those perfectly
prepared speeches, where every brittle smile
has been pre-programmed to last exactly
the right number of seconds to express humility
without veering off into self-doubt?
You know what I want? I want to see if she can
tell me her home phone number.
I want her to tell me what's in her refrigerator,
or what her mailman's name is,
or when she last parallel parked a fucking car.
I want her to tell me about the life
she does lead rather than the life she thinks
I should lead.
Anyway, here's how I think it's going to play
out in November and beyond.
Hillary wins the Senate seat in New York. Now,
you would think she wants Gore
to be the next President, but she actually needs
Bush to win. Then the Clinton machine
starts a back-channel campaign attacking Bush
for the next four years.
Bush is such a massive nitwit that he won't seal
the deal for reelection in 2004,
so Hillary runs against Dopey and becomes the
great white female hope.
Then we begin to think, if we can elect the son
of a President,
why the hell not the wife of a president? Next
thing you know,
Bill's back cruising trim in the West Wing without
any of that bullshit
running-the-country-thing to get in the way,
plus, this now gives the Clintons
eight years to get the 22nd Amendment repealed
and get themselves sworn in
as the fucking King and Queen of America... Hey,
just you watch.
Now, I generally don't subscribe to the grossly
sexist theory that women who seek power
are secretly compensating for something that's
missing from their lives, but in Hillary's case
it's so pathetically obvious. I guarantee you,
if Bill Clinton flies home this week from Europe,
stops in Manhattan long enough to pick up a couple
dozen long-stemmed roses,
a bottle of Cristal and a La Perla negligee,
then heads up to Chap-a-qua, glides in through
the front door, slaps a little Francis Albert
Sinatra on the CD player, picks Hillary up in his arms
like he's Richard Gere and she's Deborah Winger
in a paper mill, carries her up the stairs,
and spends the rest of the weekend showing her
exactly what his definition of "is" is,
well, my friends, I think Rick Lazio will be
running for the Senate unopposed.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be
wrong.
As Clinton-haters go,
Miller is one of the funniest.
A Change-up from the mound of BrainSmasher
Dennis Miller is a bad, bad man?
I was sort of hoping "MNF" would pick Rush
Limbaugh. Can't you picture
the conservative castigator explaining
the single-wing offense (right wing, of
course) and ripping Washington (the government,
not the Redskins)?
Obviously, there must have been some secret
plot by Al Gore, the Trilateral
Commission and a band of (bleeping) feminazis
to deny Rush his rightful spot,
hovering above Giants Stadium before a
New York-Dallas matchup.
Instead, we get Dennis Miller, a cynical
know-it-all from some pay-cable
network, which built its subscription base
with topless chicks and a
bottom-feeding vocabulary. Based on Miller's
HBO vulgarity, he's more
suited for a head coaching job. Hey, Dennis,
the only four-letter word you get
to say on "MNF" is: Punt. The ABC censor
ought to be getting a big raise,
since the former "Saturday Night Live"
news anchor is famed for doing the
40-word expletive in 4.3 seconds. The poor
bleep.
Bill Keveney is The Charlotte Observer's TV/radio writer.
Lazio Denounces Investment
Probe
By Marc Humbert, AP Writer
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) - The Lazio campaign accused
the Clinton administration of
"abusing federal authority'' after the
SEC said it would investigate the congressman's
"incredible luck" with stock option trading
with supporters.
Lazio, denied any wrongdoing and said he will cooperate.
But while Lazio talked cooperation, campaign
manager Bill Dal Col went on the attack.
"The Clinton administration has a long history
of abusing federal authority and using
government bureaucracies to attack their
political opponents,'' Dal Col said Thursday.
"Today, they reached a new low.''
Clinton campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson said,
"Desperate candidates make desperate charges.''
ha ha
Welcome to the big leagues, Ricky!
Consider the good news.
She's letting you live as long as you're not a threat.
Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire further etched his name in history on
Thursday,
belting his 548th career homer on Thursday to tie Mike Schmidt for
seventh on the
all-time list. He has 26 this season, tying him with San Francisco's
Barry Bonds
for the National League lead. He should pass Reggie sometime in late
July.
Rant
From: jferguson7@hotmail.com
Subject: Trashing Hillary
I'm so incredibly sick of Al Gore and Hillary Clinton being accused
of "pandering" every time they reach out to a constituency
beyond
white middle class voters that I could wretch. George W. Bush
speaks a few
words in Spanish and he's lauded as a new kind of Republican.
But let Al
Gore or Hillary Clinton respond to the concerns of legitimate
groups within
the Democratic party and they're pandering. George W. Bush is
a shallow,
unfeeling, idiotic, unprepared, inexperienced empty suit, and
if he's
elected president will cater to those who have put him where
he is (the big
oil companies, the big funeral companies, major polluters and
the crazy
right wing). And the fools in the media give this guy a free
pass because
he's a good backslapper!
This is a guy who puts potentially innocent people to death with
barely a
second thought--actually, probably with a snicker or a smirk.
This is a guy
who claims to be an environmentalist but presides over the most
polluted
cities in the nation. This is a guy who claims to care about
education but
presides over one of the worst places in the country to raise
children.
This is a guy who speaks a few words of Spanish while consigning
the poor
Hispanics in his state to substandard housing, education and
medical care.
When will the media fools wake up and realize what a threat the
affable
Bush Jr. presents to the well being of our nation? But then again,
why
should they? He takes care of them, doesn't he? The food's good
and they
get to sport goofy nicknames that he assigns them. And when he's
in the
White House, they won't have to feel dumber than the president
any more!
J. Ferguson
To a reporter's question about Rush Limbaugh's well-publicized
groveling to
become one of the analysts, ABC's MNF producer Don Ohlmeyer said,
"Rush was someone I considered seriously because he communicates
so well
with 20 million people a day. [He means per week -Ed.]
But he has
a commitment to do three hours a day, five days a week, on his
radio show.''
Ohlmeyer didn't rule out Pigboy doing "guest appearances'' during the season.
Miller would be unable to contain himself!
Yesterday sure was a busy day for news.
says he doesn't have
any evidence to charge Hillary with anything.
was nominated for
his own Cock Hunt. Congrats to Al!
this man got a chubby
killing this man 
...but the big news of the day was - the corn came in!
It's soooooooooooooo good, too.
Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
And it's only going to get better in the next 2-3 weeks.
I've never had fresh corn with Chinaco tequila before.
Those two pieces of heaven must have some shared chemical base
that cause the orgasm centers in the brain to release C8H11NO2.
Fresh Bixby, OK Merit corn-on-the-cob or Chinaco tequila...
Which tastes better?
I'll be able to answer that Monday.
From: theyeesterbunny@email.msn.com
Subject: Bush Doubles Lead Over Gore
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/20000622/ts/campaign_polls_2.html
What the hell is this about?
Why is AG losing so badly in the polls?
theyeesterbunny
Yeester,
After my Dennis Miller Trust me on this I'm
a little gun-shy about explaining
anything today, but it's my opinion Gore has everything
under control.
Besides, this race hasn't even started.
If Gore is ten points down with three weeks to go in the election,
worry.
But this is a horse race in the truest sense. They don't give
you
a blanket of roses for being first at the beginning of the race.
You only get the roses when you cross the finish line.
Dukakis was 18 points ahead of Smirk's daddy in 1988 - and lost.
I remember in 1994, when everybody was telling me how Clinton's
numbers
were in the 40's and he didn't have a chance in 1996. I told
them the trick
to winning is having your low numbers when there wasn't an election.
The conventions will change everything.
Smirk's cocaine arrest photos will change everything..
Pat Buchanan will change everything.
The debates will change everything, trust me.
Whoops!
El Pigbo ought to be a riot today.
You watch, he'll claim he never wanted Monday Night Football.
He'll say he was just kidding.
ha ha
How gracious will he be towards Dennis Miller?
No matter how upbeat he pretends to be,
you know his gut is really going to be churning.
Rush, if you weren't
so damn hated my the vast majority, you might've had
a chance, but you fucked off any reputation for decency years
ago.
Tell us how it isn't fair, Rush!
ha ha
Letter to the Editor
From: marc@perkel.com
Execution brings shame on Justice
I support the death penalty in that I believe that there is a
legitimate
place in society for the execution of some people who murder
other
people. But the execution of Gary Graham in Texas was an act
that
brings shame upon our justice system and our nation as a whole
as
we put to death a man who is most likely innocent of the crime.
In this case we have a situation where the weapon found on Mr.
Graham
did not match the one used to kill the victim, and several eye
witnesses,
who were never called by the defense to testify, said that Mr.
Graham
was not the person who committed the murder. I find it very troubling
that we have executed a person where the witnesses at the scene
never
testified and the gun did not match the bullet.
I believe that before we use the death penalty that we should
be pretty
darn sure we're executing the right person. This case doesn't
get
anywhere close to pretty darn sure. What this execution shows
us is
that we have a judicial system that is sloppy and incompetent
and
that at least 5 pout of 9 members of the United States Supreme
Court
who voted against staying the execution believe that it's OK
for the
government to kill people even when serious questions are raised
as
to whether or not we are killing an innocent person.
This execution was a test between justice and process. When the
gun
doesn't match the bullet, justice demands at least a stay of
execution.
But our courts put process ahead of justice and they take the
position
that it is more important to be procedurally correct and that
people
should die to preserve the procedure. I say that it is morally
wrong
to put procedure ahead of justice and that our courts should
no longer
use the word "justice" when they kill people to conceal the misconduct
of prosecutors. Gary Grahams blood is on our hands because we
as a
society tolerate the corruption of our courts and allow this
to occur.
Marc Perkel
Republican
Candidate for United States Senate for the State of Missouri
From: kishrandy@hotmail.com
Subject: George W. Bush
Conservatives, especially Smirk, consider government to be:
1. Inefficient
2. Overly bureaucratic
3. Incapable of making good decisions ("I'd think the American people
know
what's best for the American people, not some Washington
bureaucrat.")
4. Rife with liberal, candy-ass, feel-good, criminal-coddling, power
hungry, leeches.
Funny though, the one thing that all conservatives, especially
BUSH,
think that the government can do without fault, error, or mistake
is
...is...EXECUTE A BLACK MAN.
Yeah, the government is fucked up and stupid,
but it can kill a poor negro without fault.
If the government can't be trusted to manage Social Security,
how can we trust it to manage killing a man???
Randy
GOP convention city adopts
anti-mask law
By David Morgan
PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - The City Council, wary of the potential
for violent
protests during the Republican Convention, adopted an anti-mask
ordinance
modeled on a Georgia law aimed at combating the Ku Klux Klan.
After a 40-minute debate, council members voted 11-5 to make it
illegal for anyone
to wear a mask with the intent of threatening or intimidating
another person.
Violators would face a $75 fine.
"We ought to go home today in shame," remarked Councilman David
Cohen,
an opponent of the bill who said its passage could provoke the
largest
demonstrations Philadelphia has ever seen.
"What is the point of this bill? The point of the bill is to sabotage
Philadelphia,
to make sure we're all on nice behavior ...when the Republicans
comes to town."
The Republican Convention is viewed as a national showcase for
Philadelphia
that could help put the city back on the map of prime convention
sites.
"Nobody's going to be arrested because they're wearing a mask.
The punishment is
for inappropriate behavior," said Councilman Richard Mariano,
the bill's author.
Tens of thousands of people from scores of different activist
groups
are expected to attend a mass demonstration on July 30,
with protesters expected to travel by bus from as far away as
Montreal.
ha ha
I gotta get to this convention!
Somebody hire me!
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"In the Republican Party, abortion is a 50/50 issue,
...with most people against it."
ha ha
Rush, take your pills
The Stupid Voter's Guide to Elections
There are dozens of mulltion-dollar donkeys who will explain the
last 10
election cycles with useless data and meaningless numbers-juggling.
They're not telling you what really happened.
Here are the cold facts in short sentences using small words.
Every word is 100 percent true, swear to Koresh.
1960
Kennedy beat Nixon because Kennedy was seen as a young,
optimistic fella and Dick looked creepy sweating in the debate.
1964
Johnson beat Goldwater because he got good press during the JFK
thing,
and at the time, Goldwater was the right-wing, jack-booted loon
from Arizona.
(In today's climate, he could be Clinton's Secretary
of Defense.)
1968
After the shooting of president-elect Bobby, Humphrey looked
like Johnson II,
and Nixon promised us a nation of "law and order" and an end
to the war
1972
With the war winding down...........
...........McGovern said, if he had to, he'd crawl to Hanoi on
his hands and knees
to get our POWs back and that looked less presidential than a
blow job.
1976
Having pardoned Nixon after saying the country wouldn't stand
for it, Ford
couldn't beat Linda Tripp in a race for Lansing dead animal pick-up
supervisor.
1980
Carter's Misery Index and the hostages in Iran and Lebanon
pissed America off.
Reagan looked the camera in the eye and said,
"By God, when I'm president, those middle eastern folks won't
even dare
to think about taking our people hostage anymore.
He knew that for sure because Casey had already made the
spare parts deal.
(For the record, Iran and Lebanon continued to
take hostages)
America needed a cowboy and Reagan had a hat.
1984
Defining debate moment:
Reagan: I will never raise your taxes.
Mondale: I will raise your
taxes.
and so will President Reagan.
The difference is ...I'm telling you the truth.
Idiot!
"Honesty and politics" go together like "whiskey and car keys."
What would possess him to trust the people?
Idiot!
If Clinton taught us anything, it's never tell the truth!
ha ha
(For the record, Reagan raised taxes, like a gazillion
dollars worth in 1996.
Reagan the puppet signed whatever papers Bob Dole
told him to sign.)
1988
...and this is how this idea came up,
Bernard under-the-table Shaw asked Dukakis if he'd want to smoke
his wife's murderer. Liberal Mike got all weepy on us and let
his brain
answer Mr. Wet Pant's question instead of speaking from the heart.
(Another cardinal rule broken: In politics, never
use your brain.)
Beating Smirk's daddy in a wimp contest wasn't easy, but he did
it.
1992
Recession? What recession? Bush tired, old, and weak.
"I will focus like a laser beam on this economy." Clinton energy,
Bush got beat up, fought the whole campaign on the ropes.
1996
The best TV campaigner - ever, going up against a guy wearing
a Coathanger Coalition S&M dog collar around his neck?
That guy?
The guy who called for taggants in milk, because the NRA
said "milk kills?"
The guy who forgot the Dodgers left Brooklyn forty years ago?
That guy?
2000
That Smirk fella is dumber than his Daddy and Bob Dole combined.
Gore wins in a yawn.
Democrats get back the House.
Bonus
2004
Gore drops Bayh, asks Hillary to join the ticket so she'll have
four year's experience when Al retires in 2008.
An Offer to Debate?
From: tconnally@earthlink.net
Subject: came across your site by accident
but i'm so glad to see tired, old, haggard,
alcoholic, chain-smoking,
wannabe hunter thompsons representing the
left these days.
it's very encouraging to a young, creative,
highly-educated, healthy,
energetic right wing christian such as
myself.
i hope you're stocking up on more booze,
cigarettes and bad tv shows
for when al gore goes down to ignominious
defeat this november!
Good luck!
Thomas
Ediotr's Note:
That's an offer to debate, isn't it?
Don't you think so?
I think that's an offer to debate, don't you?
Yeah, yeah, that's an offer to debate.
...what do you think his excuse will be?
Ask BartCop
From: zeekludo@aol.com
BartCop,
You seem to know a little about everything.
Can you tell me when Major League Baseball
is coming back to Philadelphia?
Zeek
Zeek,
ha ha
Cannot predict now.
BartCop
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