Vol 224 - Knight of the Long Nives

 July 8-9, 2000

 Tru-Mail

 From:  erbo@iquest.net

 Subject: Sasquatch

 Bartcop, love the pictures and updates on the white trash Gore has been renting to.
 One question, why will no one; the press, pundits, news or any other source question
 the fact that these hillbillies live like pigs?

 Did you see the bathroom?
 A little cleaning with some Comet would've done wonders.
 She looked like she could've used a few extra baths a month, too.
 But I guess its Gore's fault that her underwear sticks to the wall.

 Eric Boothby
 

 ha ha


Who's the better landlord?

Gore's Former Tenants
A whining, gun-toting, bacon-swilling Sasquatch family.

Smirk's Current Tenants
400,000 starving minorities with disease and no plumbing


 Here's one of the big stories the press will ignore until July 31.

 Click  Here


 Bubba's Day of Reckoning?
  by Cal Thomas

 Full hate story at  http://www.jewishworldreview.com --

 <excerpt>

 No wonder Clinton held a news conference the day before the disciplinary
 committee's suit. He must have known it was coming and sought to diminish
 its impact by distracting public attention.

 "The word `scandal' has been thrown around here like a clanging teapot for seven years,''
 said the president, again shifting blame from who is responsible to his accusers.
 He called virtually all of those scandals "bogus.''
 

 Hey, Cal!
 I have an idea how you could better make your point:

 Why don't you make a list of all the "real" scandals,
 the ones that had nothing to do with sex in someone's private life?

 C'mon, Cal,
 I think people would like to see that "long list."

 Otherwise, people might think you're just a lying, sniveling, jealous pussy-loser!


 ha ha

 The Crackpot Press

 You just gotta Click  Here



 From:  joeb@buckeyeinet.com

 Subject: Got a question

 Hi Bart
 My paper, the Blade, has Smirk with a comfortable lead.
 Do you feel that the press is trying to manipulate the race??
 Fuck Bart why are they against Al?

 joeb
 

 Joe,
 Always remember the press are dirty whores.
 They know Gore is going to be the next president, but if they print that,
 nobody will buy their paper and nobody will watch the cable TV shows.
 So, they attack Gore and give Smirk a free ride to make it seem close.

 This way, when Gore wins by a landslide, they can make a big deal out of
 the "incredible comeback" Gore made, when in reality, he was always ahead.

 Never trust the whore press.



 Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Huckster
  by Paul Mulshine

 Evidence has surfaced to confirm my opinion that, judging from his
 views on sport-utility vehicles, Rush Limbaugh may in fact be a big,
 fat idiot as Al Franken claimed in the book of that title.

 I often listen to Limbaugh as I'm driving. The other day, he was
 going on and on about just what could be the mysterious cause of
 these high gas prices. He was doing his best to figure it out.

 I looked around. Passing me was one of those Lincolns that get about
 10 miles a gallon. Behind me was a Ford the size of a Winnebago. To
 the right, what looked like a Mack truck was gaining ground on
 something resembling a Sherman tank.

 The more SUVs we buy, the higher gas prices will go.
 But Rush says all Americans should buy SUVs if they want to be safe,
 according to an issue of the Limbaugh Letter sent to me by a fan, a
 ``dittohead.'' Limbaugh's theory, in other words, is that we can all
 drive huge SUVs and still have dollar-a-gallon gas.

 Idiotic?
 You decide.

 Limbaugh himself is not an idiot. In fact, he's a very bright guy,
 but he has what we in the journalism business call a conflict of interest.

 He does something a real journalist would get fired for:
 He says things for money.

 The man who has made himself a national spokesman for conservatism is also
 the national spokesman for a cleaning fluid, for a company that sells gold coins
 from a Spanish galleon and for virtually anyone else who will pay him.

 Limbaugh himself worries about this. In his book ``The Rush Limbaugh
 Story,'' Newsday writer Paul Colford notes that as far back as 1985,
 Limbaugh was aware that doing commercials was hurting his credibility.
 Colford quotes Limbaugh as saying,

 "I wanted to hold on to my credibility and my believability. And I didn't want
 any of that to be watered down, nor did I want to be perceived as a huckster.''

 Note the conflict: He wanted to be a huckster;
 he just didn't want to be perceived as one.

 The liberals are only too happy to portray Limbaugh as the spokesman for America's
 conservatives. Unfortunately, he has defined conservatism as a sort of general loutishness.
 The SUV question is typical. I'd wager that the average commuter hates these things.
 But Limbaugh has managed to convince the dittoheads that there is something uniquely
 conservative about badly engineered, dangerous vehicles that waste gas.

 The same phenomenon exists with other issues, drugs for example. Any thinking
 conservative--William F. Buckley comes to mind--would argue that if adults can
 legally smoke cigarettes, then they should be able to legally smoke marijuana.
 Limbaugh, however, has managed to convince several million dittoheads that there is
 something intrinsically conservative about tobacco, which kills 400,000 Americans
 a year, but not about marijuana, which kills almost none.
 Virtually every day he carries a piece of tobacco industry propaganda.

 Paul Mulshine is a columnist for The Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J.


It looks like Rush's sainted daddy STOLE his essay on the signers
of the Declaration of Independence that Pigboy brags about so much.

To make things worse, it seems he stole the essay from 

That's right, Paul Harvey, the toothless horse molester published
a very, very, very similar essay in 1956, when he was only 75 years old.

Click  Here for an update on the specifics of the theft.



Cheap-ass Pulitzer Quotes
  Hatchet Bitch Back from Vacation

Mr. Gore must reintroduce himself to an electorate already suspicious
of his serial reintroductions. It's tricky, because the question is the answer.
Who is Al Gore?
Al Gore is the man who keeps remaking Al Gore.

The reinventor of government can't stop reinventing.
But the national stage is not the place to figure out who you are.
Consider Hillary with her 83 hairdos.

What a slut!
Attacking Hillary for "83 hairdos?"

Look who's talking!
Mo Dean's hairdo looks like it's from the 40's

Who did Maureen Dowd Monica to win that Pulitzer?
The entire committee?
 
 


 When the GOP moved the Sasquatch woman out of Gore's rent house
 did they use trucks owned by individual, Tennessee Republicans?

 No, they did what Tim McVeigh did - they rented a Ryder Truck!

 Ryder - when the GOP takes action, they rent Ryder!


Cliff Hudson get emotional as he listens to thank you letters from the
six airmen he helped rescue in 1954, during a ceremony in Talkeetna, Alaska.

The 72-year-old Alaskan bush pilot was awarded the Exceptional Service Award
for his involvement in the rescue.   Hudson, who owns Hudson Air Service,
risked his life to fly in bad weather to search for and rescue the six airmen
whose aircraft went down on a mountian near Talkeetna.

He's a hero, risking his ass to save six of our boys in uniform.

Cliff, this shot of Chinaco is for you!


 This photo from 10-27-98 must be a fake.

 It shows Chuck Schumer, now a Senator from New York, giving a Yankees
 cap to Hillary, but we all know she was lying about being a Yankees fan when
 she decided to carpetbag a senate seat from New York, so it must be a fake.



 GOP Puts Minority Faces on TV

 The white-power Republicans have named three members of Congress - one Hispanic,
 one female and it's only black - to ceremonial leadership roles for a convention they hope
 will make people think they're serious about beaners, bitches and niggers.

 Reps. Henry Bonilla of Texas, Jennifer Dunn of Washington state and Uncle OJ Watts
 "will be deputy permanent chairmen" of the hate convention that begins July 31.

 ha ha
 Will Uncle OJ get a little tin merit badge, too?

 The permanent chairman is Speaker Dennis Hastert, an old, white guy
 who has Bug Man Tom Delay so far up he ass he can smell fucking Brylcreme.

 Smirk says the convention will reflect the diversity he'd like to see
 in the GOP at some point in the future, after we're all dead and buried.

 The three co-chairs will probably speak at the convention,
 though the old, tired white guys couldn't confirm a definite slot.
 

 But, ... if they're not going to speak, what us their function?
 To stand around like lawn jockeys so whitey can make phoney claims?


 From Spokane's newspaper The Spokesman Review

 Careless GOP Doing Itself In
    Bid for diversity-sensitive image takes a hit.

  Full, Sad Story

  Spokane - Republicans are getting ready for their convention July 31 in Philadelphia.
The party, hoping to project an image of diversity, asked three members of Congress
-- one woman, one Hispanic and one African-American - to assume leadership roles
during the convention. It's a noble idea but it was overshadowed by an inexplicable move
June 17 by the Washington state Republican Party.

The party passed a resolution calling for the abolition of Indian tribal governments.
News of the resolution sent shockwaves through Indian groups and human rights
organizations. It would be comparable, they say, to Republicans passing a resolution
requiring that all African-Americans be shipped back to Africa or that all women
be required to stay home.

John Fleming, the Skagit County delegate who wrote the resolution,
made things worse with his comments. He said he thought the abolition of tribal
governments could be done peacefully, but if not, "then the U.S. Army and the
Air Force and the Marines and the National Guard are going to have to battle back."

What is this foolishness?
What century is this?

Tribes in the United States have always governed their own territory and their own affairs.
The status of tribes as self-governing nations has been upheld by treaties, case law and the
Constitution, according to a reporter's guide to Native American issues titled
"100 Questions, 500 Nations." And legal scholars explain that "tribes are inherently sovereign,
meaning they do not trace their existence to the United States."

This resolution does little except alienate voters it could be wooing instead.
Although Fleming denies he has racist intentions and says he can explain the reasoning
behind the resolution, little of that reasoning will hit mainstream awareness.

What will remain is the perception that some Washington Republicans want to
turn back culture's clock and that people of color, especially Indians, need not apply.


 Is Gore Smart Enough to be President?

  Look at these pictures


 

"Al Gore can take this house and shove it," said the Sasquatch on the right,
 who last month branded the vice president a "slumlord."

"All the time he was promising things and we got nothing."

"We ain't heard nothing from Al Gore. I don't know nothing about eating dinner
with him. He don't call. He don't come by," said Mayberry, 36, who shocked reporters
by eating two pounds of bacon and then pouring the grease down the kitchen sink
while she bitched about the Vice President's poor choice of Tennessee plumbers.

From waaaay back in Vol 221,   I warned Gore to avoid this.

> Is Gore smart enough to be president?

> If it was Bill Clinton that had a tenant problem, he would've given her
> $1,000 and found her a new place to stay, because this idiot family
> now knows they can call Sean Hannity at Fox Whore News,
> for no goodamn valid reason and be on television that night.

> Gore has his strong suits, be he's no Clinton.

> De-fense, Al.
> De-fense!
 

But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Al Gore must've missed his  bartcop.com  that day.

What in Koresh's name could be WORSE than having this bunch of Kro-Mags
 become the symbol of your campaign for the presidency?

Al, how long ago was it?
How long ago did I suggest you give Boss Hogg $1,000 and move her camera-busting ass
to some nice place for six months so she'd be gone forever?

That was July 3, Al.

And what day did the big headlines hit that this Pack of Goobers were forced
to move out because you were a mean, penny-pinching bastard/asshole?
That was July 7, Al.

If you had read your  bartcop.com  you would've had FOUR DAYS NOTICE
to give this Holstein a salt-lick to pacify her at least till the end of the campaign.

You didn't listen to me, Al.

Al, one last thing:
We know you're smarter than Smirk,
we just don't know how much smarter.


Missle Test Blows
 Clinton Off Hook


 

   "It failed," Air Force Lt. Gen. Ronald Kadish, director of the effort, told reporters
 after the missle failed a $100 million test to separate from its booster rocket
 and intercept the dummy warhead over the Pacific Ocean.

  "The weapon failed to separate," said Kadish, master of the obvious.
The "hit-to-kill" weapon fired from Kwajalein Atoll in the central Pacific did not
separate from the second stage of its liftoff rocket, killing any chance for success..

 "This is rocket science -- things do happen," Kadish said.

 ha ha

 I don't think anybody wants to spend another 60 billion on this broken toy


If you see this man, DO NOT try to apprehend him yourself.
Call your local Animal Control Squad to have him picked up.


 SHUT UP, DAD!
FATHER SAYS  AL GORE  KNOWS MORE ABOUT FOREIGN AFFAIRS

an internet exclusive from:

In a stunning interview set for publication on Saturday, former President Bush
says his sonís opponent knows more about foreign affairs than Smirk!
Bush makes the comments in a Page One interview with the NY Whore TIMES.

Q. Does your son know as much about foreign affairs as you did when you were elected?

BUSH. No. But he knows every bit as much about it as Bill Clinton did.

 ha ha

Q. As much as Gore?

GEORGE BUSH. Gore's had eight years of experience there...
                              You get good people. George knows enough to do that...

Bush sat with his wife, Barbara, for an interview at the family compound in Maine.

"...Anybody who's governor of a big state probably thinks, `Hey, I could be president',"

 ha ha
 Make him stop!

"What happened was that he was elected governor of the second biggest state,
and then he was re-elected with 70 percent of the vote... And somewhere in there,
I don't know where it was, George made up his mind."
 

Good move, George.
America thinks Smirk's candidate is an accident, too.


 How is my weekend going?



 July 7, 2000

 Last Minute VCR Alert

 Dennis Miller tonight has Tennesse Tuxedo. (Fred Thompson R-Tenn)


 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull


 

 Senate candidate Rick Lazio is moving backward faster than a crawfish.
 He sent out vicious hate mail attacking Our First Lady, but when asked about it
 by the press, he tried to avoid responsibility for the letter, which bears his signature.

 "Frankly these letters are not written by me," he whined.

 "I think this is just a huge smokescreen," he weaseled.

 "That's not part of our media campaign," he prevaricated.

 "That's not what I'm talking about on the stump," he whimpered.

 "I just think it's incredibly unfair to try to characterize the message
  of a campaign based on a phrase in a solicitation letter," he moaned.

 What a wimp. You can't have it both ways.
 You can't run a campaign of fear and smear in the mail, then deny it in public.
 Little Ricky just ain't ready for prime time.


...and now a word from our sponsor.

Please vote Smirk 2000
 

Paid for by Phillip Morris Companies.


 Pop Quiz

 Tim the Whore and Chris the Screamer are both former Democrats.
 I think they both worked for some Demo senator or rep.

 Can anybody help?


 Stroke me, Stroke me

"Greatness is the result of greatness."
 

 ...several times today,


 From: Dian.Hardison-1@kmail.ksc.nasa.gov

 Subject: Sluttinger

 This morning, I heard ol' Spread-her-legs berating a woman for getting
 anti-depressant medication from her family doctor.

 "You're supposed to go to a psychiatrist!
  Your family doctor isn't trained to handle that!
  You should always go to a specialist!"

 Leaving aside the question of how many of us can AFFORD specialists,
 what was it that Laura-the-whore's degree was in?
 Not radio pop hate-talk psychology, I'm fairly sure....

 Dian
 


 Quotes that won't stop until Nov 8, 2001

"Pickles and I don't realize how bright our children is sometimes
 until we get an objective analysis."

 -Meet the Press, April 15, 2000



 Just for fun...

 Click  Here

 ha ha


 Great El Pigbo Lies

 Caller: Rush, was Nixon more crooked than Clinton?

 Pigboy: Well, Nixon was an enigma.
 

 ha ha

 Pigboy couldn't tell the truth if it bit him on the ass.
 The number of people in the Nixon White House who did HARD TIME
 is greater than the number of accusations against Bill Clinton.
 (Re-read that last sentence - I've got the Bart-Wallet out again.)

 Yet, Pigboy can't answer that woman's question because Nixon was an "enigma?"

 What a lying shit Rush is.

 [This is where a ditto-monkey reads that last piece, sees the word "shit,"
  and proclaims "all BartCop can do is name-call," while ignoring the fact that
  that many Nixon people did time.  It's amazing how an ostrich can hide.]

 Koresh!
 Before I could hit "send" on that, Pigboy blamed Clinton for our military being on
 food stamps, (which only Congress can change) and then he he blamed him for
 the Don't ask, Don't tell policy which Smirk and Colin Powell both support.

 Hey, Pigboy!
 Could you stop lying long enough for me to press "send?"

 He closed with,

 "I don't...I don't...I don't see Clinton anywhere near Nixon when it comes to a foreign policy legacy."

 But Pigboy!

She didn't ASK about a foreign policy legacy!!
 She asked who was more crooked!

 ha ha

 Just like Smirk, you can't answer the question that was asked, so you change that to,
 "If you're asking about foreign policy legacies..." which she did NOT
  then you just make up a NEW question and answer that one!

 ha ha

 ...and Rush is the smartest Republican of them all!


Mom faults prayer fight for assault on Jewish son
  School district's battle fosters atmosphere of hatred
  that has led to hanging threats, Nazi taunts, she says

HOUSTON Ė Donna Nevelow said the battle for student-led prayer in a
Southeast Texas school district has fostered an atmosphere in which
students have threatened to hang her 13-year-old-son, Phillip, drawn
swastikas on his belongings and called him the "Jew that Hitler missed."

Students in the Santa Fe Independent School District yell "Heil Hitler"
and greet Phillip with a Nazi salute, she said. They have pushed his
head into the toilet and banged his face against lockers.

"They have also called him a dirty Jew," she said.

Last week, he was assaulted outside school after a boy approached him
and remarked, "So, you are the Jew," Ms. Nevelow said.

A school official said the prayer issue, which landed the suburban Houston
school district in the national limelight, and the attacks are not connected.

A 13-year-old boy was arrested in Thursday's assault, and three other
juveniles were arrested in May in connection with the hanging threat.

"The emphasis of the Santa Fe school district on Christian prayer has created an
 environment of hatred for anyone not a part of their agenda," Ms.Nevelow said.
 "I think what is happening to my son is a direct result of the school prayer issue."

Ms. Nevelow asked Sunday for the resignation of school board trustees who
have supported school prayer.

"That is absurd," said John Couch, a Santa Fe school district trustee.
"We haven't even used the word 'prayer.' We use the word 'message.'"

Mr. Couch said there is no link between the school system's stance and the
anti-Semitic attacks.

"I think it is the opposite," Mr. Couch said.
"I think the belief in the supreme being keeps fights from breaking out."
 

Ediotr's Note: Religion is always the problem.


From:   brewmeister@thedailybrew.com

Subject:  I think you are a chicken

You said:

>I need a radio show.
>We need to fight back!
>Aren't you tired of the lies?
>Why can't the truth make it onto the airwaves?

I think you are either all talk or chicken shit.
You could start an internet radio talk show, no problem.
I did it myself, just to prove I could.  My show was a thirty second sound test,
but it did prove that I could handle all of the technical issues.

In fact, I have all the gear one needs to take calls, mix them, and put out a signal
while sitting in my living room.  It cost me less than $200 at radio shack.  There
are about a dozen web sites that will carry your signal for free, and distribute you
as streaming audio, in exchange for a little ad time.  You want me to set it up for
you, hey, no problem.  Happy to help.  All I want is to be invited as an occasional guest.

I think you would succeed.  You have enough daily readers that you would easily
get quality callers, all day long.  It is a lot less effort to dial a 1-800 number than it
is to write an email, and you seem to have no shortage of mail.  You also could
set it up so a couple of dozen of the pillars scheduled calls at regular times, and
presto!  a few hour show is filled.  They would do it.  You know they would.
Most of the problems that plague start ups (no promotion, no audience calling in,
no devoted fan base) you already have licked with your website.
So at first, you would get plenty of calls, and you wouldn't need a call screener.
You are miles ahead of the game, and apparently don't even know it.
If I had your readership, I guarantee you I would be doing it.

Of course, actually going for it is where the fear factor comes in.  There is no
guarantee you would be any good.  On radio, you have to be fluid, you have to
keep it moving, you have to think on your feet.  You don't have time to think it
through the way you do when you are writing it all down.  You might fall flat on
your face in radio.  You might fail where Pigboy succeeded.  Do you think your ego
could take that?  It is a real risk.  Losing to Pigboy would sting; you know it and I
know it.  You are really putting yourself on the line.  So are you chicken, or not?
And don't blame your voice.  Plenty of guys with lousy voices have made it in
radio.  Ever hear the car talk guys on NPR?  Your distinctive voice is an asset.
The truth is, you either trust your mind and your instincts to make an entertaining
product, or you don't.  Or you do, but you are chicken.

The thing you have to remember is, once you are making the product, it becomes
a simple matter to syndicate it.  Either by yourself, or by hiring someone (me) to
market the show.  Don't pretend they will blackball your content, either.  That is a
weak ass excuse that Howard Stern proved was a lie.  To keep it cheap, you
would need to be pre-recorded at first, but if you succeed, that would only be
temporary.  If you wanted to really go for it, and you were willing to lay down a
few bucks, you could rent the studio time.  In fact, in my town, there is a little
technical school with a radio station that would GIVE you the studio time.
I bet there is a JC or something in Tulsa that would do the same for you.
If you weren't chicken.

But if you are going to do it, move now.  The window of opportunity to get the
Bartcop radio show established is going to close sometime shortly after labor day.
If you aren't broadcasting during the conventions, I would say you probably
missed your shot.

Brewmaster
 

Dear Mr. Brewmaster,

I can be the monkey, but I can't be the organ-grinder, too.
I need someone else to handle the nuts and bolts.
I need a partner/producer/business manager/tech-person to team up with.

Probably the best parallel is that of a rock 'n roll guitar player.

I don't have the organizational skills to locate and interview bass players, drummers,
singers, keyboard players, and then rent/buy a PA and a rack of F/X and lights,
then rent a rehearsal hall and places for the band to stay, then contact record labels
and try to get that working while I'm writing songs 12 hours a day.

I need a band who is looking for a guitar player.

Perhaps someone will read this and contact me...


Subject:  July 4th

From: LOUDMXR@EARTHLINK.NET

BartCop,

I'm just feeling a little patriotic. What with the July 4th stuff and all that.

I don't want to come off as a "trekkie" with the West Wing but..

In the last episode President Bartlett revealed something the script
writers knew a year and a half ago. but they kept it secret.

"I am the great great grandson of Josiah Bartlett, delegate of New Hampshire.
 They said, in Philadelphia, "That all men are created equal"
 The funny thing is ... is that is the first time anyone bothered to write it down..
 History is made by those who show up."

 I love that show!!

 The next week I was at the Skrillball Cultural Center which has one of
 the 201 official copies of the D of I. Struck one hundred years ago. (It
 also has Abe Lincoln"s hat and the Nuremburg Laws signed by Hitler)

 I searched the document and I found Josiah Bartlett.
 He is the first name in the upper right hand corner of the Declaration.
 I know its a TV show but I was touched.

 There is one other thing that this TV show has taught me.

 Get out a dollar bill. Look on the back. There you will see the Great
 Seal of the United States of America."Annuit Coeptis Novus ordo Seclordum"

 The pyramid of our nation is not yet complete, there are many things we need
 to correct and do, but the eye of God looks down upon us and... approves.

 Johnny


 From:  tjwash@yahoo.com

 Temperatures break CENTURIES old records in Europe.

 Full  Story

 Yep, that liberal biased media spewing out more lies about global warming again.
 Just like that fabrication about the Conneticut sized chunk of ice breaking off
 from the polar ice caps. Next thing you know, they are going to tell us that
 we really landed men on the moon.

 Funny thing is this is CNN, you know, the voice of America at war.
 When did they go so left?

 I am gonna tune in Fox, at least they tell the truth.

 Cheers
 TJ
 

 ha ha

 Excellent!


ha ha

Smirk, I'm going to miss you next year...


 RED ALERT!    RED ALERT!
  This is no drill!
 RED ALERT!    RED ALERT!
 

 USA Today reports Houston's air is "UNHEALTHY!"

 If you're young,
 if you're old,
 if you have asthmsa,
 if you have emphasema,
 if you're an air breather,
 you need to stay INSIDE today because Houston's air in "UNHEALTHY!"

 Gov. Smirk,
 Why did you take those campaign contributions from the big polluters?

 Gov. Smirk,
 Why did you relax the quality air standards in Texas?

 Gov. Smirk, how long?
 If you win in November, (snicker) how long will it take
 for America's air to look just like Houston's air?

 Gov. Smirk,
 How could you?


 From:  robert900@hotmail.com

 Subject: Corruption Chart

 Interesting article by Conason.
 Would be cool to create a chart listing past administrations and their criminal deeds.
 Have columns such as number indicted, bribery convictions, etc.
 Also include a column for investigations conducted, perhaps.

 And one for people pardoned by the president.

 ha ha

 I can picture GW blasting away about corruption in a debate
 and Al pulling out a chart that blows the argument out of the water.

 Roberto Marcado

 ha ha

 That's a good idea!
 Who volunteers to make the chart?
 We could send it to Gore, and if he uses it in the debate,
 Shirley we'll all be invited to the Inaugural!!!



Charlie Bakaly, Kenneth Starr's Leakmaster, has a new life ahead of him.


(picture alert)

Radio Harpy Invades Knuckledrag
 Feels right at home, "amongst her own"

Talk radio whore Laura the Martyr is scheduled to speak in Knuckledrag
October 4th and 5th. She will talk about family issues at this event entitled,
"Character: The Anditote for Violence."

"She's the only one nationally that (he means who) has taken a public stand
and been judgmental about the things that have gone wrong with the family,"
said Bed Tardwell, president of the Foundation for Academic Excellence."

ha ha

Hey, Beddy,
Don't you know that Laura the Martyr and her vaginaless twin El Pigbo
regularly ridicule the highest levels of academia as "pointy-headed morons?"

"Things that have gone wrong" with the family?
Do you mean the liberal invention of homosexuality?
Just because previous generations didn't have the courage to face the world
is no reason to claim things have "gone wrong," the way milk "goes bad."

The right-wing rag Knuckledrag World (endorsed Bush, Dole, Bush)
got in a shot or two themselves, and I quote:

Schlessinger sometimes berates callers to her show, where she advises
listeners to maintain high moral standards. Her own past, however, has led
critics to call her a hypocrite. For example, she is highly critical of divorce,
although she and her husband-manager have each had a previous marriage.


The Lady from Hootersville
 

For ticket info call 918-493-3770

I did, and the operator refused to give me any information.
She said she was "just a receptionist" and couldn't even give me the price
of the damn tickets. She took my name, address and phone number
so information could be mailed to me at a later date.

Koresh, that sounds fishy.
This is obviously another money-scam on the easily-led religiously-insane.


 A Modest Proposal

 Click  Here


"There was ....a  vibration!"

I've been meaning to say this for so damn long, and the opportunity never
presented itself so screw it, I'm just going to say it now.

I've seen Smokin' Joe Conason on TV talk shows 6-8 times with those ignorant,
Clinton-hating ditto-monkeys and he always does a fantastic job.
While the Clinton Cock Hunt is nobody's business but the Clinton's,
it nevertheless is a hueueueueueueuge story in size and scope.

I've kept up with it more than 95 percent of America, and I don't have a clue how
to explain most of it. If you've had the chance to read his most excellent book,
"The Hunting of the President," you know Conason knows what he's talking about.

....
(Click on book to order it)

The story is just too-involved for somebody with an I.Q. of 64 like me.
But it's not the book that impresses me the most.
It's Joe's live performances that are so amazing to watch.

The entire Clinton "scandal" story has so many players, and has a timeline
that lasts longer than ten years, and has so many court decisions and briefs
and verdicts and leaks and double-crosses and back-stabbings, when Joe
gets in front of a live camera, usually surrounded by smarmy, anti-education
dunderheads whose single-minded fixation on the president's cock would
disrupt the normal flow of ideas on one's head - I don't understand how
he can keep those hundreds of names and facts so clear and in perspective.

I'm reminded of an great movie from 22 years ago - The China Syndrome.
Towards the end of the movie, Jack Lemmon is holed up in the command
center of the nuclear power plant and he's got just one, 60-second chance
to make the live TV audience understand that there's been a dangerous,
illegal cover-up of faulty construction that threatens the lives of tens of
millions of people on the Eastern seaboard.

When he finally gets on-camera, he stutters and stumbles and tries to put
this incredibly complex story into words, but he doesn't have a cohesive
command of the minutiae and he's he's not prepared to put the hundreds
of facts into a 60-second summation that the audience can grab.

(During his on-camera ramblings, the big-business Republicans break down
 the door and shoot him to death before he can finish his warning.)

Simply put, he's no Joe Conason.

I've seen need-to-be-smacked pricks like Sean Hannity try to trick him,
try to change the subject, try to make outlandish and outrageous claims
and how does Joe handle it?

He first shuts down the lie, then reveals the ulterior motives behind the lie,
then gives examples of why the lie won't fly, all in a very calm manner.
The "calm manner" trick works especially well when he's on with a
hyper-active ditto-spank like Sean Hannity or Chris the Screamer.
The most recent videotape I have of Joe and Hannity is fun to watch.
Hannity is screaming, screaming, screaming this and that, and all the while,
Joe is saying, in a very flat, calm tone, "Sean.....Sean.....Sean....."
looking VERY sane compared to the loud, arm-waving raves of the Hannity loon.

Conason always seems so relaxed and intelligent when he destroys the cheap-ass,
below-the-belt attacks made by the Cock-Grabbers, and it's a joy to watch.

Joe, my good friend, this shot of Chinaco is for you!


Traficant Going to Prison?
 By Jon E. Dougherty

    The FBI is conducting an investigation into an alleged decades-old
Mafia connection between a veteran Ohio congressman and reputed mob
figures from his home district near Youngstown, Ohio.

    The New Republic, in its July 10 issue, reports that the Justice Department
is nearing the end of a 6-year investigation into alleged ties between Youngstown
mob figures and Rep. James Traficant, (D-Traitor) -- ties which, the magazine said,
could lead to the congressman's indictment on corruption charges.

    The report said two competing elements of the Mafia -- one from Cleveland and
the other from Pittsburgh -- may have helped Traficant win a local sheriff's race in 1980.

    Quoting from tapes reportedly made via FBI wiretaps, the magazine said Traficant was
heard admitting he had accepted $163,000 in contributions from both factions while plotting
with the Cleveland faction to help its leaders eliminate the influence of the Pittsburgh mob.

    The FBI confronted Traficant with the audiotapes, the magazine said, adding that
initially Traficant agreed to cooperate in the agency's attempt to crack down on mob corruption.

    The magazine said Traficant gave a sworn statement, in front of witnesses, that read:
"During the period of time that I campaigned for sheriff of Mahoning County, Ohio,
I accepted money ... with the understanding that certain illegal activities would be allowed
to take place in Mahoning County [Ohio] after my election and that as sheriff
I would not interfere with those activities."

    But the FBI claimed Traficant recanted his confession "several weeks later,"
after "learning that he would likely have to resign as sheriff and that the reason
for his resignation would become public," the magazine said.

    The FBI arrested him in 1982.

    The Justice Department charged Traficant with "taking $163,000 in bribes from
the mob and for willfully and knowingly 'combining, conspiring, and agreeing' with
racketeers to commit crimes," the magazine said.
If convicted, Traficant would have faced 23 years in prison.

    However, Traficant won an acquittal from a local jury.

    Traficant told jurors that though his voice was on FBI audio surveillance tapes,
the agency had doctored them to incriminate him. The magazine said Traficant told
jurors he was not corrupt, that he was "playing" both factions of the mob in a
secret sting of his own making, in an effort to cleanse "the most corrupt county in
the country."  He said he accepted the money only because he wanted to give
mob figures the illusion that he was going along.

     Now, after nearly two decades and "more than 70 convictions," a new FBI probe
of Traficant's alleged mob connections "has already led to convictions against" a former
Traficant aide -- also with alleged Mafia ties -- "a disbarred attorney who had advised
him for several years, and a former deputy in his sheriff's office," said the New Republic.

    And Traficant admits he may be next.

    Traficant has threatened to leave the Democratic Party
     unless party leaders rally to his aid.
 

Dear Trafi-bastard,
We don't want your crooked, mobbed-up traitorous ass in the Democratic Party.
Please get the hell out and join the KKK/GOP.

By the way, weren't your relatives involved in murdering President Kennedy?


 From: Foolcow@aol.com

 Subject: Uncle OJ Watts

 Let me get this straight:

 You are the one holding JC Watts's skin color against him,
 and yet you accuse the Republican party of being racist.
 Who is the racist here?

 Foolcow
 

 Foolcow,
 I'm guessing you are.

 Are you related to Mancow?
 My first impression of you was similar to my first impression of him.

 I'm not holding OJ's color against him, I'm holding his unconscionable
 decision to betray his race against him.  Don't I have that right?

 My point is, there's only one elected black Republican on Earth,
 and the GOP is putting his face up front in an attempt to soothe the collective
 conscience of the fence-sitters who aren't paying attention into thinking blacks
 are welcome in the all-white party of Bob Barr, David Duke and Jesse Helms.

 But ewe knew that.


It's all Bill Clinton's fault.

President Clinton has taken the initiative in creating so many good jobs
that even the counter people at McDonald's now are non-English speaking.

Here in K-Drag, you now press your own buttons on the McCash register
to ring up your order because so many Americans have upgraded to
better-paying jobs that their counter-help replacements don't know enough
English to make conversation and answer easy questions.
 

Thank you, Mr. President, ...I think.


 VCR Alert  W/update
 (It has come to my attention that this show is a repeat.
  As a dutiful ediotr, I checked abc.com before I posted this alert,
  so I could determine if it was a repeat. They hid that fact.
  I trusted abc.com
  That shows you what an idiot I am.
  I'm so stupid! (/Farley/)

 It's not often I get excited about seeing a Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,
 but tonight, Friday, Maher's guests are:

 Lennox Lewis,
 Jon Stewart,
 Ann Coulter,
 Chris Rock.

 Wow!

 That would be a great show even without Chris Rock.
 Jon Stewart is probably #3 in my book after Rock and Dennis Miller.
 But with Rock, tomorrow should be extra good.

 Chris has been silent for months.
 He should have a lot of jokes ready to go.

 I think Dennis Miller has 4 more shows to do, then Rock is coming back
 for another full season  just in time for the conventions.


 U.S. Factory Orders Soar in May
  By Glenn Somerville

 WASHINGTON (Reuters) - New orders poured into U.S. factories at the strongest rate
 in seven-and-a-half years in May while the number of Americans seeking jobless benefits
plunged last week, government reports released on Thursday showed.

 Full Story

 Seven and a half years?
 ...must be Reagan's work.

 ha ha

 Gore couldn't lose this election if he tried.


 This year's GOP Convention is proudly brought to you by the Cancer Lobby
 and the Rifle Lobby,    ...and now a word from one of our sponsors.
 


Say it isn't true, Smirk!

For Bush on the campaign trail, emphasizing a commitment to affordable
housing buttresses his effort to portray himself as a "compassionate conservative."
He has held two campaign events stressing his "Renewing the Dream" plan, in
which $1.7 billion in tax credits would build 100,000 homes by 2006.

"Part of the American dream is saying, 'This place is mine,' " he said.

Back home, Bush's own housing agency falls far short of his soaring vision.
A rapidly rising number of Texans live in unaffordable or substandard housing,
and the state's housing agency--one of the few under Bush's direct control
--is enmeshed in scandal.
 

 Full  Story


 From:  hooba@earthlink.net

 Subject: Rush and Tiger

 I kept waiting for Rush to say this, but he never did.
 Can you imagine what would happen to golf
 if real black people were allowed to play ??

 The only sport white people would have left is Yachting.
 

 Tony from Long Beach


 Monkey Mail

 From:  csrncdt@home.com

 Subject: Your an IDIOT

 You are so ignorant it is funny...You are truely a
 credit to the Democratic party...ha...ha...ha...ha   And Congress
 controls the purse strigs.So neither Regan,Bush or Clinton cannot
spend money
 if
 it is not appropriated by Congress.

Chris Rogers & Charlotte Thomas


Starr Spokesman Charged for Leaks
The Associated Press  By JOHN SOLOMON

WASHINGTON (AP) - Kenneth Starr's former spokesman has been charged
with criminal contempt and ordered to stand trial starting July 13 in a case
involving news leaks during the Monica Lewinsky investigation.

Charles Bakaly is being prosecuted by the government before U.S. District
Judge Norma Holloway Johnson, who as the chief judge of the federal court
in Washington oversees matters involving grand jury secrecy.
 

Ok, Charlie, here's the deal:
If you don't play ball with us, you might die in prison.
If you've called your parents in the last 5 years, you'd better be able
to prove you didn't leak any information to them, because we could charge
them as accessories or we could just grill them until they break, Charles.

Would you like to see your father die in prison, Charles?
You want your mother to live her final days behind bars?

Now, we all know Starr's going down either way.
You and your parents can go to prison with him or you can cut a deal.
We want the ringleader - we want Kenneth Starr.

Tell us what we want to know, Charles,
Will you turn state's evidence in exchange for a walk?

Or would you prefer drinking from the back of a toilet
and being a good wife to your cellmate the rest of your life?




 Monkey Mail

 From: aztek@milehigh.net

 Subject: Assholes

 You need to pull your head out of your ass.??
 Your blind.

 leslie&brad schmitz



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