Vol 225 - Ventura Highway


 July 12, 2000

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 El Pigboy keep whining about the "idiocy" of Gore having to
 "re-invent" himself after being vice president for 8 years.

 I guess he can't remember four years ago, when old Bob Dole
 tried to re-invent himself after 34 years on the national stage.

 Remember when Bob Dole took off his tie?
 (See Volume 25, "Bob Dole Removes Tie")

 Rush said that was, "a bold move."

 ha ha


 Subject: The big Bush story you have...

  From:  piratecorps@onetel.net.uk

 I'm worried...

 The last time you hyped something up in advance like this was Issue 100.
 This isn't going to be another Wizard of Ahhs is it?

 Nick
 

 Koresh, I hope not.
 I'd rather let  bartcop.com  go dark than go thru that again...



 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 Is Bush a different kind of Republican?
 He promises a $1.3 trillion-dollar tax cut, which mostly benefits the rich.
 (Oh, there's a different idea for a Republican.) But in Texas, we're learning that
 Bush has already squandered most of his state's projected surplus, and can't even
 account for where it went. Will he do the same for the federal government: give
 huge tax breaks for the rich, then feign surprise when the projected surplus never
 materializes and the middle-class is left holding the bag for another Bush deficit?

 On the environment, he instituted "voluntary" pollution controls for corporate
 polluters, and made Houston the city with the dirtiest air in America.
 On the minimum wage, he actually favors repealing the federal minimum wage
 altogether, by allowing states to decide for themselves whether corporations
 in their state must obey it.

 The truth is, there is nothing Bush is for in the year 2000 that Herbert
 Hoover wasn't for in the 30's, Goldwater wasn't for the in 60's, and Reagan
 wasn't for in the 80's.

 Just like all the Republicans, he wants to privatize Social Security, cut taxes for
 the rich, cripple public education while assisting the academies of the wealthy elite,
 restrict environmental protections, roll back the civil rights gains of affirmative action,
 and let special interests run the government.
 Wow, that's a different kind of Republican, isn't it?

 Has Bush ever disagreed with Rev. Jerry Falwell or the NRA or with Big Business?
 No.

 Different kind of Republican my Aunt Fannie.



 From:  maximgorky@yahoo.com

 Subject: talk show host!??!!

 So I'm flicking through the channels and I see G. Gordon Liddy on Fox Whore.

 Caption - Radio Talk Show Host  (!!??!!)

 Not convicted felon?

 Not a man who urinated on the Constitution of the United States??

 What's next?

 Ronald Reagan
 Labor Organizer/Union Leader?

 Dan Quayle
 Veteran?

 Dr. Laura
 Academic?

 Newt Gingrich
 College Professor?

 George Bush Sr.
 Texan?
 

 ha ha


 There they go again

 Another reporter has described Bush as a different kind of Republican.
 But, nobody ever asks who are these Republicans, and how is Bush different?

 The fawning press never asks Smirk to explain,
 so he never has to answer.
.


 I caught a little Herrendo Revolver last night.

 He was talking about The Perfect Storm with some of the real people portrayed
 in the movie and some weather experts. One of the weather experts said that
 weather fronts move from West to East because of the rotation of the earth.

 That reminded me of Smirk's assertion that Houston's smog problems
 were the fault of Louisiana's smog blowing into Texas.

 I gave a gift for you:

 If the wind is blowing from West to East,
 (for the creation-geography crowd, that's from left to right)
 how did the smog blow against the wind to foul up the Texas air?

 Could it be that Smirk is just lying?


 Joe Conason gets another hit.

 Click  Here



 Funny article by Michael Kelly

 Click  Here


 Subject: Bush Flip-Flop

 From: dennisc@iadb.org

Has anyone been commenting on Bush's Flip-Flop?

During the primaries we have Bush speaking at Bob Jones University (BJU ha ha),
supporting the Confederate Flag in South Carolina, vetoing Hate Crimes legislation
in his home state and subjecting more minorities to the death penalty in his state
than all of the other states combined.
During the pre-Convention season GW starts reaching out to minorities
with his message of compassion and inclusion.

The talk in the media has been about Gore flip-flops and campaign redefinitions.
Jesus Christ - the Bush campaign did a HUGE 180 degree turn right out in plain sight
without a word in the press.  Are these whores completely blind?

Dennis Courtney
 

Dennis, they're not blind, they are just whores.
They're building Smirk up like they did to McCain, trying to make it a race.
As things get closer, if it looks like Smirk might have a chance the press will stab
Smirk in the back like George Stephanopolous did to Clinton.


 Great Mormon Quotes

   "I was listening to Metallica this morning in my office.
     Pretty darn good."
        -- Sen. Orrin Hatch, sucking up to Lars, to guffaws.



 From: csrncdt@home.com

 Subject:        major looser

 Hey Mr. rocket scientist,
 A democrat named Fritz Hollings was the man that put the confederate flag
 over the state capital when he was Gov.,and the Republicans voted almost
 2 to 1 for affirmative action in the 60's.

 So if Frita Hollings was a racist in 1962, it's OK for Smirk to be racist in 2000?
 Maybe that kind of thinking is what's keeping you guys out of the White House.
 And if you guys weren't racist in the 60's, why'd you turn?

 (Al Gore Sr. and the democrats voted against).
 Your cartoon depicts  racism...Yes Masser??
 I also think it great you show your true looser liberal self asking for some
 rich millionaire (ironic) to give you 50 grand so you can get your peon pathetic site
 out of the gutter.(looking for handout, whining about people who are successful )

 You have a point there.
 If my rich dady owned a radio station, and put me behind a microphone
 so people couldn't tell I was wearing a dress, I wouldn't need to search for
 a partner to invest in freedom-based, anti-fascist counter-rhetoric.

 What's the matter can't find a sponsor?

 Once again, you are correct.
 That offer has been up for a couple of weeks,
 and I have yet to hear from a qualified investor.


 Get a LOAD of this, from the fun folks at newsmax.com

Brit Hume: America's Most Trusted Journalist

Brit Hume is the most trusted journalist in America,
according to an online survey of readers of NewsMax.com.

The national survey asked Internet users to vote for the journalist
who they believe is "the most trusted journalist in America."
A total of 96,217 users responded to the unscientific poll that
was conducted between Dec. 26, 1999, and Jan. 7, 2000.

What a fucking joke!
At least you had the decency to admit it was an unscientific poll.
If you were going to ignore science and logic with your poll, why not just
dismsmber a chicken, then boil the bones, then throw them off the porch
and however the bones land, let that decide who's "most trusted."

Koresh, if only the raw-meat ditto-monkeys at newsmax.com voted,
I'm surprised The Methane Factory didn't end up the champ.

Hume is known for a crisp, matter-of-fact reporting style that offers
the public a balanced presentation of the news. The American Journalism
Review honored Hume by naming him "The Best in the Business."

ha ha
What business would that be?
The Clinton Cock Hunt business?
The only way he could be sonsidered "balanced" is if you consider every
news source in America as hopelessy pro-Clinton, then you Cock Hunters
come along with some hopelessly anti-Clinton balance - is that how it works?

"He is the best. In Washington there is no better than Brit Hume,"
 said Arnaud de Borchgrave, CEO of United Press International.

ha ha
Make him stop!
You're saying EVERY reporter at UPI is worse than Brit Hume?
ha ha
Koresh, that's a miracle in itself.
No wonder Helen Thomas quit!

De Borchgrave, a director of NewsMax.com, added that Hume's reporting style
resonates with Americans because "he comes off as a straight and honest reporter.
He's not married to any side, conservative or liberal."

Oh, Koresh!
Do you have any idea what you just said?
Hume is about as unbiased as I am.
Would you say, "BartCop is neither conservative or liberal?"

William Rees-Mogg, former editor of the Times of London and a
member of NewsMax.com's International Advisory Board, said
Hume is an internationally respected journalist.

That part could be true.
I'll bet he's loved in North Korea, Afghanistan, Sudan, and Iraq
for attacking "the devil Clinton" while we had troops in the field.

"There is a perception that the major TV networks in America were
 reporting one view, the liberal East Coast line of thinking,"  Rees-Mogg said.
"Brit Hume and Fox News give the American people a diversity of views."

I think that "liberal, East Coast" line of thinking is the educated viewpoint,
so yes, Fox Whore News often gives the other side.

"NewsMax.com is proud to name such a remarkable and fair-minded journalist
as Brit Hume as 'The Most Trusted Journalist  in America,'" said Dana Allen,
chairman of NewsMax.com.

You keep repeating "fair and balanced" over and over like a mantra.
Are you trying to make us believe it or yourselves?

Challenge to Rush's DittoHeads:

Can you find an instance on the www where some news organization
goes soooooo far out trying to paint their anchor as "fair and balanced?"

And when you can't,
please explain why this problem is unique to Fox News.


 From: kwawin@earthlink.net

 Subject: bob barr doing the j. edgar hoover thingy

 Years ago, there was talk of TWO black g.o.p. congressmen:
  j.c. "fetchit" watts and BOB BARR.

 i only heard  this a couple of times. and i can't find anything on
 the web to substantiate it, but i wonder if anybody else ever heard this

 ...or was i just inhaling dubya's second-hand bong smoke?!

   ~kwawin
 (dazed and confused in texas)
 

 Oh, yeah,
 They talk about it all the time in Barr's district.
 We've known about that Barr thing for years,
 but we didn't run it because we don't do that kind of story.


 Great X-Files Quotes

 Mulder: Can you explain that to me?

 Scully:   God has his reasons.

 Mulder: He has his reasons, but He uses a lot of
                psychopaths to carry out his wishes.


 This Just In...

GOP charges local Democrats with stealing the Mayberry pets.
Local sleuths have a theory about what might've happened.


 You know, I've been down on Ol' Lars from Metallica about his greed,
 but at least he showed some class while testifying before fellow songwriter
 and soulmate B'Orrin Hatch (R-Chickencoup) about internet music piracy.


 

 If you look real close, you can see Lars isn't wearing his Metallica cock-ring
 (only $279 at larsgreed@endless.com) around his neck like when he's onstage.


 Baby, baby, where did our tour go?

 Click  Here


 From: revolution.one@worldnet.att.net

 Subject: "Signers" piece

 So, Bart:

 Papa Nazi wrote the "Signers" piece,  Jeff Jacoby ripped it from him,
 and now it seems that Whorowits couldn't help but lift a line as well?

 The last sentence, fourth paragraph of the Capitol Hill Blue article quotes Signers:
 "They pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor."

 In the fourth paragraph of Horseshit's tripe he crafts this gem . . .
 "The Patriot," a film that reassembles the elements of the national myth
 into a powerful homage to liberty and to the American colonists who gave
 their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor to its cause.

 Geez, that jumped right out at me, made me feel like
 I was back in middle school working on a report.

 I know . . . hmm,
 I'll change the first word, then . . . add a few words at the end.
 Maybe just a coincidence, probably happens a lot to writers,
 only so many ways to say something in such an eloquent way.

 Well, it looks to me like that line moved from pigboy sr. through jakaboy
 and Hors 'doo faster than a load of oats through a paul harvey prize stallion.

 ha ha

 I wish Horowitz would get an original idea and stop regurgitating the
 partly digested fascist bullshit that obviously makes up his thought diet.
 First it's one phrase, then two . . . then just like lies, it gets easier and easier.

 Where does it end?
 Must be a Republican disease.

 Conservativitis.

 Respectfully yours,
 TommyB


From: LordStarFyre@aol.com


 From: mindit@netmind.com

 Subject: Reminder notice
 

 Dear Mind-it User,

 You signed up to receive an email alert whenever the following web pages are updated:

 Bondage, Spanking, Discipline, Foot Worship, Crossdressing, Fetishes
 http://mindit.netmind.com/go/1/20384617/6431377

 ha ha

 Foot worship and crossdressing?

 Why, I never!

 ha ha

 Then, swear to Koresh, in the same e-mail is this:

 ***** CLICK BELOW For a FREE Debt Analysis! *****
 Too Much DEBT? Are Bill Collectors Hounding You?
 WE CAN CUT YOUR BILLS IN HALF & Consolidate Them into
1 LOW Monthly Payment &  STOP The Late Fees! FREE Info at:

 http://fc4e.com/s/ecl/NhUAAAAAAgDRPgEAAAACAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
 

 Yeah, like I'll sign mortgage papers over to the lenders who teamed up with
 the Foot worshipping/cross-dressing/fetish people for their marketing campaign.


 From:  wittnietz@datatek.com

 Subject: The dire threat of the UN

 BartCop:

 Someone was yammering to you today about the "threat of the UN."

 Yeah, once they figure out how to successfully drop a food packet in some
 war-torn village halfway around the world without our help, they'll invade the
 United States and instate the New World Order under the Beast of Revelations.

 AJS
 

 ha ha


 July 11, 2000               VCR Alert - Tonight - Jimmy Page on Conan

 From: dirosnic@eos.ncsu.edu

 Subject: DR. L. vs. RUSH

 The reason Dr. Laura gets ads pulled from her show,
 but Pigboy gets a free ride is thus --

 You know as well as I that Rush claims he's only "entertainment,"
 (that is, when he gets into trouble) while Dr. Whora thinks says she's for real.
 So when she gets protested, advertisers have to pay attention.
 But they don't with El Gasbag.

 David

 David, good point.
 Especially on that "when in trouble" part.
 But when he's not backpedalling, he's "America's Truth Detector," and
 "the only place you can hear the truth" and "our guiding light thru tumult."

 I still don't understand why the sheep buy it.

 PS. My condolences on your Carolina status.
       Stuck in Knuckledrag, I understand what you're going thru.



 More on Smirk's Phony 'Mea Culpa'
   A little Catholic lingo for ya

"While some in my party have avoided the NAACP and some in the NAACP
 have avoid my party, I am proud to be here.  There is no denying that the
 party of Lincoln has not always carried the mantel of Lincoln.''
      -- He Who Smirks
 

 Gee, I wonder who he was talking about?

 Was Eisenhower a racist pig?
 Not that I know of. (before my time)

 Was Nixon a racist pig?
 Not really.
 Sure, he hated Jews and longhaired war protestors,
 but did he slam the blacks in his secret tapes?

 Was Ford a racist pig?
 Not if you ask me.
 Ford wasn't much of anything, much less a racist bastard.

 Was Reagan a racist pig?
 Fucking bingo!
 Reagan created modern racism.
 Reagan gave the vulgar Pigboy the green light to unveil his racism, too.

 Was Smirk's daddy a racist pig?
 Smirk's daddy was slightly less racist than Reagan.
 When he got elected, first thing he wanted to do was create a "kinder, gentler America."
 That meant, "Let's ease up on the Nazi hate of the last eight years," and we all know it.

 Was Bob Dole a racist?
 Hard to say.
 Bob was still trying to figure out what happened to the Brooklyn Dodgers
 and why milk was worse for children than cigarettes.

 So now, Smirk goes to the NAACP and says, "Sure, my party has been racist,"
 but what will he do, besides flap his gums, to right the wrongs of the past?

 ...and isn't it funny to watch Pigboy squirm?

 All day he was explaining how it was the liberals that were the real racists,
 and how the GOP was the party of the black race.

 I guess the fact that only the Uncle OJ's and the Uncle Slappy's buy that shit
 just proves how stupid the black people really are, right Rush?


 From: (withheld)

 Subject: You & Gore let bush get away with this.

 Bush gives 8.4 billion to Bill Gates's kids,
 while poor orphan kids get leftover bread crumbs.

 Bush is on TV touting a 2.3 billion (5 years) program for Orphans.
 (Mostly tax credits, so the foster parents have to have a high income to get the benefits).
 The GOP Estate tax repeal (Bush favors) gives 8.4 billion to Gates's kids.
 The richest kids in the world get 3 times as much as all the orphans in the country.

 Now that's compassion.
 

 Hey, I have an excuse.
 I wonder what Gore's is?


 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 George W. Bush read a 15-minute speech to the NAACP convention,
 and the fawning national media is treating him like he just marched across
 the Edmund Pettus Bridge with John Lewis and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 Bush read a platitude-filled speech, including such lines as:
"I am here today because I believe there is much we can do together to
 advance racial harmony and economic opportunity."

 Wow.

 He quoted Jackie Robinson, Abraham Lincoln, W.E.B. DuBois, "a writer" and
 "a philosopher" (apparently he reads to many he can't keep their names straight.)
 And he came out boldly, courageously and candidly against slavery, racism and segregation.

 And the press fell for it.

 The George W. Bush suck-up patrol failed to mention that Bush's real record on race
 falls far short of his cliche-ridden rhetoric. Just three months ago Bush was speaking at
 Bob Jones University. He could have used that occasion, as Alan Keyes did, to speak the
 truth to power; to confront the university's divisive policies, and to speak out against discrimination.

 He did not do so -- an act of political cowardice.

 Nor did Bush include in his NAACP speech his tacit approval of the Confederate flag over the
 Carolina capitol building -- another act of weakness in the face of bigotry.
 And somehow Bush's brief speech to the NAACP avoided mentioning why, of all
 the people he could have chosen to lead the training of his state's police, he chose a man who
 said he didn't believe the term "porch monkey" was a racial slur.

 Bush somehow failed to explain why, as Governor, he flew from Minnesota back home to
 Texas to comfort the white families of a tragic church shooting in Fort Worth, but refused to go
 to Jasper to comfort the family of a black man who was dragged to death in a modern-day lynching.



 From:  Sen. Lugar's web site

 Jail-based treatment programs have proven to cut drug use in half, reduce
 criminal activity like shoplifting, assault and drug sales by up to 80%,
 and decrease repeat arrests for all crimes by up to 64%.

 But Loogie,
 Your boy got bailed out.
 Don't you want your boy to get help?
 You say, "Jail-based programs" work best?
 How can he get "jail-based help" if he's out on bail?

 Let's test that theory, Loogie.
 Without treatment, he might start shoplifting.

 Or are you saying jail is for the dark people, not the whites?



 From:  wcalkire@ruralnet.org

 Subject:  Smirk's demise

 Thanks for the great links.
 Don't you think it is time to come forth with any dirt that is out there about Bush.
 Gore seems to be making no progress.
 Is it time to worry?

 JA
 

 Time to worry?
 ha ha

 Koresh, no.
 If Gore is substantially behind after the debates, then we'll worry.
 Smirk season hasn't even started yet.

 Oh, the fun hasn't even started yet.
 They got NOTHIN' they can throw at Gore, while for us, the world is not enough.

 Have you ever watched a cat play with a bug or a mouse before he eats it?
 That's what the press is doing to Smirk.
 They're sitting on these stories because it's not time yet.
 If they blow Gore out of the water now, what will they do for four months?

 We still have the Buchanan circus to go thru.
 Jesse has threatened to jump in at the last minute and "steal the whole thing."
 You watch, Smirk will pick an idiot, like Keating the Catholic,
 and Gore will pick somebody smooth and smart, like John Kerry.
 Plus, don't forget Gore's secret weapon.

 The secret I'll be breaking on  bartcop.com  in the next 3 weeks won't be
 anything that'll make Smirk drop out, but I predict a lot of people will read my
 essay and say, "I'll be goddamned!  I'll bet BartCop's right."

 It's going to be a very exciting four months.



 From:  leman_russ@juno.com

 Subject: Political parties

 I am curious as to your stance on McCain and whether or not he should have
 run for president. I, for one, am saddened that there is a SECOND
 presidential election that I have no desire for either candidate to win.

 Much of the answer depends on the definition of "is."
 Because of his service to America, I gave McCain the benefit of the doubt.
 But when he turned whore in Carolina I lost a lot of respect for him.
 He later apologized and said he did a bad thing, but so did Clinton.
 Clinton's mistake cost this nation nothing.
 McCain's cowardice cost him his integrity and a place in history.
 If McCain had looked Carolina in the eye and said, "Tear down that flag,"
 he would've lost Carolina but won in NY, CA, IL, PA, FL and maybe TX.

 I'm with you - I'm no big fan of Gore, but he's running against a man I could
 destroy in a debate, and anybody who can't out-argue me shouldn't be president.
 I'm pro-Gore by default.

 Bush is too potentially corrupt to properly represent the people, and Gore
 is Clinton-spawn. Clinton wasn't bad, but only because he moderated himself
 when he realized that not all conservative ideas are bad. Gore doesn't
 strike me as having the same kind of sense.

 Gore has plenty of problems, but "Clinton-spawn" isn't one of them.

 I also was wondering about your views on the United Nations, and the fact
 that liberal legislature is pulling us more and more into an organization
 that has openly expressed it's desire to do away with our sovereignty.

 I wish I knew what that meant.
 I don't know that I've ever heard an intelligent debate on the UN.
 I hear the McVeigh wing of the GOP screaming that Klinton and Reno
 allowed Russia to put 10,000 tanks in Mexico and they'll be streaming over
 the border any day now with Klinton's blessing, which helps a lot.

 There may not be much use for a UN now that we're the only SP left.
 Besides, America is so goddamn arrogant, if everyone voted against us,
 we'd ljust tell them to "fuck off" and do what we want anyway,
 so why are we bothering with the charade?

 Saddam and Milo did NOT face a multi-nation assault force.
 They faced a pissed-off American military with a bunch of other countries standing
 around watching the fight. What we need to do is tell these lesser countries that
 THEY are the ground troops, and we'll supply the techno-wonders and the air cover.
 I'd make a good president, don't you think?

 I can't pretend to support conservatives on everything, since I know
 full well that an anarcho-capitalist society would never last, but it's hard
 to close your eyes to the destructiveness of liberalism gone awry, as well...

 I'd like to hear more about the "destructiveness of Liberalism."

 Thank You,
 Stephen M Accetta

 P.S. Now I get to see if you actually answer me, just call me a nazi,
        or totally ignore me.
 

 Have I ignored you in the past?
 Even tho I stopped whining about it, my mail is more than ever.
 Perhaps I missed your first e-mail. (s)
 Funny, you don't sound like a Nazi, so why would I call you one?

 My complaint is with whores who make tens of millions per year by
 lying their dirty, infected asses off.  Religious liars are a target, too.

 You seem like a fella with manners, so I'm nice in return.
  I negotiate for a living and I learned early that you always start off nice.

 That's me, BartCop the nice guy.


 From: Patrick_Harren@bmc.com

 Subject: Re: Salon Quiz

 Bart Cop,

 Further answer to Brandon Sutherland's excellent question:

 It is true that the Texas Governor does not have a lot of power.
 However, he does appoint the members of the Texas Natural Resources Conservation
 Commission, the organization charged with monitoring air and water quality.

 In keeping with his belief that pollution should be left up to the polluters,
 Gov. Dubya has used this power to put the polluters in charge of enforcement.
 Two of the major environment problems are this agriculture and chemical industries.

 Smirk's first appointment was John Baker from the Texas Farm Bureau,
 a opponent of all efforts to regulate pesticides.

 Next was Ralph Marquez, a lobbyist to the Texas Chemical Council.

 Third was the representative from the Religious Right: Barry McBee.
 Under the leadership of the Bush appointees water quality and
 pesticide monitoring have been virtually abandoned.

 Regards,
 Patrick Harren



 I have a question.

 Last night, I was watching the news and saw Smirk talking to Julian Bond
 As they leaned in to talk to each other, I was struck by the relative sameness
 of the color of their skin.  Julian could almost pass for white.

 Since it's a well-known fact that light-skinned blacks are smarter than blacks
 with a darker complexion, why isn't Bond the boss of the NAACP?

 How did the darker-skinned Kweisi Mfume get the job?


Congressional Relatives Receive 'Get Out of Jail Free' Pass
 Senator's Son Out on Bail on Marijuana Charge

ARLINGTON, VA -- If you or a relative gets arrested on a drug charge,
don't expect to pass Go or collect $200 -- unless you're the son or daughter
of a U.S. congressman. Thursday night provided the most recent example
of the Drug War double standard.

According to the Tribune News Service, Robert Lugar, son of Senator
Richard Lugar (R-Roughboy), was arrested for possession of One and 1/4 ounces
of marijuana after a deputy sheriff smelled marijuana smoke when he stopped
Lugar for a routine traffic violation. Lugar pleaded not guilty to the drug charge
and was released on $200 bond.

Lugar should count his lucky stars that he's a U.S. senator's son, because he
already has a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card. If he'd been anyone else's son,
most likely his car would have been confiscated and he'd be facing prison.

But being a Senator's son makes you part of the aristocracy.
Just ask the sons of Richard Shelby (R-Racist) or Rod Grams (R-Unknown).
Both have been arrested for drug offenses and received virtually no punishment.
And the worst part is that all three senators continue to be leading Drug Warriors.

The drug laws in America suck.



 

http://gwbushart.port5.com/index.htm
 will keep you busy all day!


STERLING HEIGHTS, Mich.--The wife of million-selling rapper Eminem
attempted suicide at the couple's suburban Detroit home,
police and a record company executive said.

"Kim Mathers tried to kill herself Friday night," said Dennis Dennehy,
director of media and artist relations for Eminem's label, Interscope Records.
 

Kim, remember The Little Engine that Could.


 Smirk likes to play dirty, does he?

 Click  Here


 Smirk Proven Right Again!

 "There is no denying that the party of Lincoln
   has not always carried the mantel of Lincoln.''

Gov. Whitman of New Jersey has the time of her life frisking
 a "suspected nigger" during a racial-profiling stop in 1996

"The search was illegal and a violation of the man's civil rights,"
said Deborah Jacobs, director of the New Jersey ACLU.

In an interview Friday, Whitman said she didn't know if she had
any legal authority to conduct a search and she did not ask the
officers present if she was allowed to do so.

"It never occurred to me to ask that question," said Whitman,
who once had a future in the GOP.


Ask BartCop

From:  john.cross@ndri.org

I really don't think there will be much reason to worry about Gore.
Bush signed his death sentence by agreeing to even three debates.
Do you remember how Gore destroyed Bradley with a single line?
"Racial profiling just about began in New Jersey..."

 ha ha  - See above photo

Right now Gore has so much on the shrub the question is which piece does he use?
When Bush starts rambling on about how he love minorities,
Gore will have a few choice phrases.

When the Shrub starts babbling about how he is the "Education" governor,
a few pieces of information will come to hand.

When Dubya starts to whine about morality,
I'm sure there will be more than a few tidbits that Gore can throw some light on.

By the way, is that a bong the guvnor is holding?
Or is it a dildo?

John
 

Dear John,

Better not tell you now.

BartCop


Today's GOP - always digging where they don't belong...


 And now, ...here's something you'll really like,

 The Daily Bit



 From:  Jose_q@donkeypiss.com

 Subject: Millionaire Needs Shill

 Senor Bartcop,

 I would like to sponsor your political commentary at both US national conventions.
 Money is no object, but I require enthusiastic and sincere endorsements
 of my company's product as the official drink of  bartcop.com

 Let me know if you're interested,

 Jose Cuervo IV

 No way, Jose.
 I wouldn't trade my Chinaco for a night with Angie Harmon.

 While I have your attention, last December I drank a shot of your
 "premium" gold tequila and thought I was going to fucking hurl.
 Please refrain from raping your customers with that horrid liquid.


 From:  bsutherland@ohiohistory.org

 Subject: Salon Quiz

 So, if all of those elected officials rank higher than the governor,
 why blame him for Houston's shitty air?

 Not a provocation for a fight or anything.

 This is a question which I do believe must have a legitimate answer.

 Brandon Sutherland
 

 Damn good question, and I'm glad you asked.
 The answer is......

 Smirk can't have it both ways!

 He wants to be president.
 His qualifications?

 "I'm the governor of the second-biggest state!"

 When someone says, "Why don't you stop that execution, Governor?"
 he cries and whines and says, "Texas governors have no power!!!"

 When someone says, "Why don't you stop that pollution, Governor?"
 he cries and whines and says, "Texas governors have no power!!!"

 As Smirk's daddy would say, "Na Ga Dah!"

 Smirk needs to stand up and admit he's the fifth-most powerful man in
 the second-biggest state and  THEN  tell us what his qualifications are.



Great Quotes from the Past

 Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do
 the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.
      --  John Maynard Keynes


 From:  skisics@yahoo.com

 Subject: observations and rants

 I listened to a little bit of Dr. Whora today.
 She said something interesting, to the effect that you
 can tell the character of people when money is involved.

 I don't remember the exact quote. But she's right, we
 can tell a lot about her character when money is involved.

 skisics surus
 

 Skisics,

 You remember that old joke - the prostitute says,
 "Give me $300 and I'll do anything."
 ...and the guy gives her $300 and says, "Tramp, paint my house."

 Imagine what she'd do for a $72,000,000 lump
 and an extra $12,000,000 a year to boot.


 Jake Tapper from salon.com has some eye-openin' stuff

 Click  Here



 From: Foolcow@aol.com

 Subject: JC Watts

 Okay, so you admit that JC Watts is black and a Republican.
 Then you say that the GOP is an "all-white" party.
 How is this not a contradiction?
 

 Foolcow,

 There are 272 Republicans in Congress, one of them is openly black.
 That means the GOP is not "all-white" like I said.
 It's only 99.621 percent white.

 Sorry about that.
 Sometimes I get carried away...



 From: mshemo@hotmail.com

 Subject: Incest

 Just two minutes ago, Dr. Laura said: "There are lots of ways to be incestuous
 and they're not all physical." "No, really?" That huge ego can't absorb even a
 single drop of self-awareness!Dr.

 Laura blathers with stomach-churning passion about Deryk's towering height,
 the tragedy of his every injury (after sustaining which, he runs to his "Little Mummy"),
 his genius, his strict adherence to hundreds of religious laws, the myriad of  "koot"
 things he says and does. Under the circumstances, wouldn't you think she'd lay back
 a bit on her denunciations of fathers who defend "Daddy's little girl"?

 All Lew is to her, judging from her on-air gabble, is a tolerable cook who's lucky to
 be granted the freedom to express his disagreement with her -- more license than
 the rest of us get, of course.

 Who's Laura's soulmate?
 Who's the most important person in her life, next to herself?
 Who does she admire most, next to herself?
 It sure isn't that old man she lured away from his wife and three children.
 Maybe Procter & Gamble should have remained a sponsor of her show
 -- they could have sold a soap designed to cleanse her audience of the slimy feeling
 that remains after she rhapsodizes about her "bunchkin."

 Free Deryk from his mother's lap -- NOW!
 

 Margaret Shemo



 July 10, 2000

Hoover's Dark Secret Revealed
FBI  chief  had    b l a c k   grandfather!

Full Story

J Edgar Hoover, the cross-dressing head of the FBI who worked relentlessly
to undermine Martin Luther King and others in the civil rights movement in
the 1960s, had black ancestors whose existence he desperately tried to
keep secret, according to a new book.

Millie McGhee, author of Secrets Uncovered, J Edgar Hoover - Passing For White?
is an African-American who says she was told as a little girl in McComb, Mississippi,
of her family's links with Hoover.

She writes in the book that her grandfather told of her of this "very powerful" man in
Washington who was related to the family but did not want the links to be known and
passed himself off as white.

Ms McGhee, a former teacher in Los Angeles, explains that she contacted a
genealogist in Salt Lake City, Utah, for help in tracing her family's history.
She says her research shows that Hoover's grandfather and great-grandfather lived in
a segregated black area of Washington and were classified in a census as "coloured".

Relatives were warned of dire consequences if they spoke publicly of his background.
As a little girl she believed that they would be killed if they mentioned the secret.


Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 Emerging from the Hall of Failed Presidents, former President George Bush and
 his wife Barbara gave an interview to the New York Times this weekend that
 must have set teeth to grinding at W's campaign HQ in Austin. The former
 President was clueless, the former First Lady bitter. Bush actually had the
 audacity to talk about "restor[ing] honor and integrity" to the Oval Office.
 This from the man who lied to the nation about his role in selling deadly
 weapons to the Ayatollah Khomeini. This from the man who hid his diary,
 which had been requested by the Independent Counsel, for five years; then
 turned it over after he'd been defeated in the 1992 election.

 (Yes, I know Bill Clinton lied too, but lying about an illicit affair with a
 younger woman is personal; lying about an illicit affair with the Ayatollah is
 national security.)

 Bush senior says "Clinton fatigue" is real. I'll bet it's real with him. But
 as for the rest of the country, President Clinton still has a much higher job
 rating than Ronald Reagan did at this stage of his presidency. Of course,
 Bush never had an eighth year of his presidency, so it's impossible to
 compare. The poor old guy still thinks he was turned out because of some
 cycle of history, forces beyond his control. No, sir, Mr. Former President,
 you were voted out because you were a poor president. Our country was in a
 recession because of the stupid economic policies you and Reagan gave us, and
 you didn't care. People were hurting and you didn't care. Good folks lost
 their jobs, and you didn't care.

 But as soon as some oil-rich emir lost his job, it was "Message: I Care."

 The last time former President Bush (I still like the sound of that "former")
 reared his head, he helped his "boy" lose the New Hampshire primary by 19
 points. Now he gives an interview to the Times in which he says his son will
 win -- not because of his ideas, not because of qualifications, but because he
 thinks we all hate Bill Clinton as much as he does. About the only thing he had
 to say about his son is that he is "amazed" at W's ascension in presidential politics.

 So am I, Mr. Former President. So am I.

 We're all amazed at how a guy who failed in school, failed in business and traded
 Sammy Sosa has conned a once-great political party into nominating him for the
 highest office in the land.

 Prediction: W's handlers are so embarrassed by the Former President
 they'll refuse to allow him to speak at the convention. And W, placing
 political ambition ahead of family loyalty, will agree to muzzle the old man.



 

I was curious about the markets one day and decided to explore Yahoo! Finance
concerning an unrelated matter. I stumbled upon a feature buried within the site
which allows you to not only view historical stock and market data but also
download rather large files of spreadsheet-ready data.

In this case I downloaded the complete historical data of the Dow Jones Stock Index.

With Quattro Pro in hand I plugged in nearly twenty-four YEARS of data
(mainly for future reference.) Pursuing a hunch I correlated the data from
inauguration to inauguration in four-year periods starting with the Carter years up
to the present day of the Clinton administration. What I was looking for was the
market growth (or, in the case of Carter, loss) in correlation with these Presidencies.

The numbers themselves sounded interesting but what good is looking at a boring
spreadsheet full of 'em? Using the graphing function I plotted each four-year data
set and overlaid them over each other for comparison. At a glance everyone can see
what that twenty-four years' worth of data looks like.

As for the date of the presidential inauguration I start each four-year presidency at zero.
The previous date of market activity is used as the baseline and this is subtracted from
the current market point level. What results is the amount of CHANGE which I use
as a standard for comparison.

To put it bluntly for the skeptics out there are no tricks or "creation math" here.
This is all based completely upon simple math and data which you may verify at
http://finance.yahoo.com if you're willing to dig for it. For those who are into
quoting "supply-siders" and Republicans in general as the Gospel then this
visual representation proves that they're wrong.  Period.

Mark D. Baum
dr.bomb@usa.net

Look at those Clinton numbers.
Stay up, baby, stay up!

You did good.



 Great Religious Insanity Quotes

 "Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
       Jerry Falwell, Crossfire, May 17, 1997
 

  From:  infornography@crosswinds.net



 Subject: Chris-The-Screamer

 From:   msmith@netwood.net

You asked: "Tim the Whore and Chris the Screamer are both former Democrats.
I think they both worked for some Demo senator or rep..."

Matthews spent 6 years as a dick-holder for Tip O'Neill.

Mike Smith
 

ha ha


 Great New York Quotes

 Mayor Giuliani has spent the last couple of years
 caterwauling against the parole system.
 If it were not for parole in New York State,
 Rudolph Giuliani's mother and father
 never would have been married.
  -- Jimmy Breslin
 

 ha ha


Thanks to BrainSmasher for the excellent 'toon.


 Great Smirk Quotes

"While some in my party have avoided the NAACP and some in the NAACP
 have avoid my party, I am proud to be here.  There is no denying that the
 party of Lincoln has not always carried the mantel of Lincoln.''
 

Yeah, Smirk, like your chicken-shit ass 90 days ago on the Carolina flag issue.
You could've stood tall, like a man, and told Carolina to "Tear down that flag,"
 but you were too busy courting the Cro-Mag vote to stand up and act like a man.


 GOP Convention Preview


 So, how's the air in Houston today?

 According to the USA Today page 18A, the air in Houston today is

UNHEALTHY!

Thanks, Smirk!


 Here's a David Horowitz "Patriot" article, with a guest editorial by T_Burns.

 Click  Here


 Great 8-Wives Quotes

 "More than 20 people auditioned for the Monday Night Football job.
  Halfway thru Dennis Miller's turn, the producers asked for a time out,
  went outside and looked at each other in amazement, and all agreed
  the guy was unbelieveable.  He was funny and he knew the game.
  They all thought he'd be good, but no one thought he'd be that good."



Great Dennis Miller Quotes

"Let's see...   Football is the one without the bat, right?"
 

 ha ha



 I saw a news report over the weekend that AIDS patients are doing so well,
 and medical science is making such strides, that people are paying less attention.
 As a result, the decline in new AIDS cases is beginning to level off.

 I remember hearing Magic Johnson was HIV-positive.
 That was in what, 1992?
 The last I heard about Magic's health, the number of cells that tells you that you
 have AIDS was so low, he was statistically in the "doesn't have it" category.

 That reminds me of two sons-of-bitches, Reagan and the vulgar Pigboy.
 I remember when Reagan's budgets and Pigboy's smart mouth told people
 it "wasn't worth" spending money on AIDS research because it was a virus
 instead of a disease and therefore could never be cured, so why fucking bother?

 What they really meant was, "It's only queers dying, so why should we care?"

 Fuck Reagan for his blind "who cares?" attitude,
 and fuck Pigboy and Laura the Martyr for making millions by feeding that hate.



 Pigboy is still claiming his sainted daddy wrote that discredited "Signers" piece,
 and now it looks like our old friend Jeff Jacoby (see Vol 61 and Vol 65)
 stole it and passed it off as his story.

 The Boston Globe suspended him for being a lying, stealing handjob - way to go, Jeff.

 Full Story



 From:  skisics@yahoo.com

 Subject: Smog over Houston

 Bartcop,

 After viewing your many pictures of lovely downtown
 Houston, it brought back a song.

 Sung to Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple:
 

 Bush became a governor
 He said he wanted clean air
 But when it came to regulations
 Didnít want companies to share
 With cleaning up the smokestacks
 Wants voluntary enforcement
 Wonít force them into clean up
 As long as dollars are sent

 Smog over Houston,
 itís very hard to breathe
 Smog over Houston

 With self regulation
 The businesses went to town
 They keep filling Bushís coffers
 They know he wonít let them down
 Now they ring up their profits
 And laugh in the peopleís face
 Bush thinks he can snow them over
 During this presidential race

 Smog over Houston,
 itís very hard to breathe
 Smog over Houston

 Now they find it hard to breathe
 Another pollution alarm
 Bush thinks the companies
 Donít want anyone to be harmed
 Now that Houston passes LA
 As the most polluted yet
 Hopefully people in this country
 Give Bush a lesson he wonít soon forget

 Smog over Houston,
 itís very hard to breathe
 Smog over Houston
 

 skisics surus


How does Smirk handle justice in Tejas?
I'd like to hear him explain it to the NAACP today.
 


 Great Clinton-hating Quotes

 Trust me, nobody knows less about the Middle-east than me,
 but here's the way I understand it: At the end of September, Arafat
 will cave to pressure and declare a Palestinian state in Israel.

 The only thing that can stop this is a new peace accord.
 Israel is tired of the rocket attacks and the bus bombs.
 They want a deal.

 Arafat is getting old, very old, and this could be his last chance.
 He wants a deal.

 Clinton will be out of office in 6 months, and a deal is more likely
 with him than with Gore, or, Koresh forbid, He Who Smirks.
 Clinton wants a deal.

 So, all three sides want a deal, so they're giving it a shot.
 This is a right-winger's dream.
 If an agreement is not reached, the GOP can scream, "failure"
 at the top of their lungs instead of giving Clinton the credit for trying.
 And if they somehow reach an agreement, they'll just say it was Reagan's doing.

 Watching McLaughlin this weekend, John asked that Clinton-hater
 Lawrence Kudlow his opinion of the upcoming peace talks:

 "Clinton's ego run amok."
 

 Doesn't it figure?
 Those Republican bastards would rather the peace talks fail
 than see President Clinton get any credit for helping it along.



  From the Mind of BrainSmasher

 FRANK KEATING: HOMICIDE, LIFE ON THE STREET

 Frank, Frank, Frank. You just want to pinch yourself. You see Frank's in the
 mix for a Vice-presidential nomination. Calling all cokebouys. Heavy sigh,
 Frank we hardly knew ye. Frank is our governor here in Oklahoma where it is
 legal to kill cocks, but not to tattoo one. Every month there is some scandal or
 Frank goes wild and says something terrible about a segment of Oklahoma society.

 Last February, Frank, speaking to 350 students at Oral Roberts University,
 sez the way to deal with the teacher's union was, "Homicide!" I wish I could
 blame a speechwriter. Someone else at least!  If a student said that in an
 Oklahoma school, they would probably be arrested and most likely expelled!
 You know who I do blame?
 I blame Mrs. Frank.

 I know this is a family page, but I have to say it. Frank is just not getting enough.
 I'm sorry.
 If Mrs.Frank were doing her job better as a........well Frank might not be so testy.

 At the very least a little help for Frank's prostate health.
 My Ol' doc, Al Bendover, told me along time ago, "Use it or lose it."
 Studies have shown, well, you know what they show.
 Mrs. Frank wants to be out of Oklahoma anyway,
 she's an old Washington Highlife woman.
 You know, one friend keeping another cold.

 Frank's and Oral's Jesus is better than your Jesus. If you are a "godless"
 liberal or an immoral, rabbit breeding minority, damnation is your call.
 Frank and Oral say if you open your checkbook to them....err, Jesus, then
 Jesus will open his checkbook upon thee and you will have "deserved" wealth
 and prosperity and live in the Christian Kingdom of small guvmint.
"Say it aint so Brain Smasher," you say.
"Yes, grasshopper, it's true."

 Regardless of how you feel about unions, teachers, or humanity in general,
 the class of students at Oral Roberts University that would give you a rousing cheer
 when you proclaim that "Homicide" is the way to deal with the teacher's union is at
 the very least, unsettling.

 Hey ORU, WWJD?
 My sources tell me when Tim McVeigh heard about Frank's speech,
 he wanted to high-five the governor.

 When an ORU student becomes the next McVeigh at the Governor's bequest,
 at least we can all be comforted by the fact when 200-300 people are killed by them,
 no unborn children will be involved.

 BSmasher@flash.net


 ha ha

 Clinton can do that shit without even trying.
 This country is going to miss Bill Clinton...


 Hollywood Minute

 Keenan Ivory Wayans had the best weekend of his career.
 "Scary" made $42,000,000 in three days.

 Go Keenan!

 I haven't seen the movie, but I heard it's funny,
 and I like to see little people get their hands on some money.
 
 

 Mike Myers of Austin Powers is in deep shit.
 He backed out of a deal to make that horrid "Dieter" movie
 about the German industrial rocker (is that what that is?)
 He's getting sued left and right.

 Myers said he backed out because the script was "pure shit."
 The problem with that excuse is,  ....he wrote it!

 Myers is proving a BartCop theorem:
 Big money makes you lose your humor.

 Comics are always better on their way up.
 Once they hit the motherload, they turn unfunny very fast.
 
 

 Isn't it funny how Rush continues to blame "the leftist media" for the fact
 that relatively nobody wants to see ultra-right-winger Mel Gibson's movie Patriot?

 I hear it's a hoot!



 It's not often God plays his guitar on TV.
 I think he's only been on twice since the treehouse has been open.

 Tuesday, He will play a song, maybe two, with the Black Crowes.
 This tour is only the second time since 1980 that Jimmy Page has
 been free to play the "real" songs that he's written, since Robert Plant
 has chosen to go mostly accoustic. With the Crowes behind him,
 he's been playing the big songs. Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow night.

 If we get real lucky,
 maybe he'll play something on the doubleneck or the Dan Electro.


Lets make a deal

Two independent Cookeville filmmakers, Rick Martin and Donald Farmer,
appeared at the Mayberry's house (before the GOP moved them out)
with a hand-printed contract for a movie about their toilets.

(Yum! I'll be first in line!)

The deal gives the Mayberrys 20 percent of the movie's net revenue in exchange
for the rights to tell the family's story of terrible toilets and Goreís eviction notice.
The movie is set to air in October, hoping to embarrass Gore, who was too stupid
to take BartCop's advice and move the tree-climbers out.

The Mayberrys even posed for a movie poster on their front porch with rifles in their hands.

I realize these missing links don't have any brains,
but signing a contract for a percentage of the net?

Even movies that make over $100,000,000 don't have "net" profits.
They won't be able to buy any bacon with the movie money.
Serves 'em right.


In 1992, Smirk's daddy refused to speak to the NAACP.

In 1996, Bob Dole refused to speak to the NAACP.
He even said "Kweisi Mfume is trying to set me up," the dumb-ass.

Today, Smirk speaks to the NAACP.

I can't wait to hear what he said and their reaction.



Geico Pulls Ads From 'Laura the Martyr' Program

     Auto insurer Geico has decided to stop running its ads on She-Thing's radio
program, the latest corporate fallout from the talk show host's much-publicized
comments on gays. The Washington-based company said it has received a great
deal of feedback, mostly negative, about its advertising on the program.
     Much of that negative response has come from those in the gay community
who said they found the remarks made by the host "highly offensive and prejudicial."
An assistant to Rabbi Schlessinger declined to comment, and a spokeswoman for her
show could not be reached immediately. Schlessinger has angered gay rights groups
with her comments that homosexuality is "deviant" behavior and a "biological error."
Earlier this year, Procter & Gamble pulled its ads both from the current talk show
and her upcoming television talk show this fall.

But why does the vulgar Pigboy get a free ride?
He hates gays more than Laura the Unloved, and he openly laughs and ridicules them,
wheras Laura dismisses gays with an aura of civility.

Is Laura seen as some kind of civilian, with a chance to be rehabilitated?
Someone clear that up for me, please.


The Nader people will eventually come to Gore,
but Pat and his $12,000,000 haven't yet begun to fight.



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