Drum roll, please....
Rush Limba: "You can tell this is a 'genius
Dole by the 'abject panic' shown by 'all the democrats.'"
(Has anyone seen any panic? Any at all?)
Newt Gingrich: "Dole is free to pursue
(No, Dole is free of YOUR crooked ass and your 28% approval rating.
Being seen with you was Dole's biggest problem.)
Bob Dole: "I'm not attracted to the glories
of the office,
I'm attracted to the difficulties of it."
(Think what Fatboy could do with THAT lie if a Democrat dared to tell it.)
Haley Barbour: "His sense of responsibility
don't allow him to stay Senate leader, or even Senator."
(It sure didn't stop him during his first 60 days.
Dole got a responsibility/duty transplant lately?)
Dan Quayle: "It doesn't help matters when
has Murphy Brown - a character who supposedly epitomizes
today's intelligent professional woman - mocking the
importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and
calling it just "another lifestyle choice."
(Danny, we're talking about Senator Straddle now.)
Old Bob Dole: "You want me to be Ronald
I can be Ronald Reagan."
(Bob, what if we want you to be Daffy Duck?)
Bill Kristol: "Dole might go from being
without a message to an ex-Senator without a message."
Alan Secrest: "You can take the Straddle
out of the Senate,
but can you take the Senate out of the Straddle?"
Edie Mahe: "At least it'll stop the moaning
that Dole's not doing anything."
(Quitting is doing something?)
Old Bob Dole: "I'm no stranger to bold
moves, whether it's
getting out of that hospital bed or taking off my tie."
Vic Camber: "It gives him 2 days of publicity, then what?"
Mitchell Daniles: "In pinball, when the ball's going down the drain, you might as well tilt it."
Old Bob Dole: "I have nothing to fall back
the judgement of the American people."
(Bob, your approval rating is 38%. Wise UP
Michael Medved: "The headline in the Washington
'BOLD MOVE NOT ENOUGH FOR DOLE' is PROOF they're scared.
(Anyone see any "proof" in that headline?)
Dick Armey: "It was a bold move."
(Hey DICK. If Senator Straddle wants to shock us with a
bold move, maybe he could take a position on some issue.)
Old Bob Dole: "For me, it's either the
White House or home."
(Dole lives in the Watergate Hotel. What a slogan:
Give me the White House or Give me Watergate.)
Elizabeth Dole: "It's Elizabeth, not Elizabitch."
Sign on the wall at Dole Campign Headquarters:
"It's His Bad Arm, Stupid."
Alan Simpson: "He's doing what he knows
(Translation: Dole had no choice.)
Old Bob Dole used the phrase "the hard way" 9 times in his goodbye speech.
Does he think Joe Six-Pack wants to do things the hard way?
Who's advising him?
Micheal Medved: "The GOP has to avoid over-confidence."
George Bush: "You mean all I had to do was take off my goddamn tie?"
Bill Bennett: "Dole needs to shoot more
(Translation: He's WAAAY the hell behind.)
RL-LNW Editor: "Dole is late in the second
The score is 38-3, and he's forced to abandone his
running game and put the ball in the air every play."
(The truth needs no translation.)!)
Old Bob Dole: "It's my time to leave."
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (kathleen hagan)
Subject: Re: RUSH LIMBA-LYING NAZI WHORE Volume 14
You are one Friggin Idiot. YOW!
Does Rush know we're here?
Thursday, May 16th, Rush mentioned "the new, anti-Rush
newsletters that have sprung up on the Internet."
Was he talking about RUSH LIMBA - LYING, NAZI WHORE?
If we were pompous, lying bastards, we'd ASSUME he was
and claim some sort of victory, as Rush erroneously did
after the OKC bombing. Remember? Clinton mentioned
"hate radio," so NATURALLY Rush assumed Clinton was
talking about his fat ass. Turns out, Clinton meant
G. Gordon "headshots-for-federal-agents" Liddy.
By the way, does anyone know of any other anti-Limba newsletters?
I don't. If I did, I'd subscribe to it.
Maybe Rush DOES read this newsletter.
His ego is bigger than the cyst on his ass.
(The FULL story of the cyst on Rush's ass, the one that kept him from
going to Vietnam, will be in an upcoming issue.)
So, if you're reading this, Rush,
blow me, and PLEASE take me to court for slander and libel.
Fired historian Christina Jeffries sued Newt for firing
her just because she wanted the Nazi's to have a full
hearing before we kept their point-of-view from the kids.
Dole hired her in early '95, but fired her days after when
word got out she was pro-Nazi. Why Newt wanted a Nazi
sypathizer to record American history is something his
democratic challenger might want to get into...
Today's rumor says Valujet might've been illegally
transporting hazardous materials on that deadly flight
that killed 110 people. Keep in mind, if the GOP succeeds
in limiting liability in lawsuits, people who lose family
due to corporate illegality may have to settle for pennies
so the GOP can keep their money from the goddamn Cancer lobby.
If YOUR wife and kids died on that plane, would you be as
eager to reward the companies that make a profit skirting
the law and killing your kids in the process?
(This is the part of Rush's show when he breaks into tears
and starts crying about how Bill Clinton "feels your pain."
No wonder decent Americans hate the bastard.)
You can whine how "trial lawyers own the White House,"
and even if they did, I'd rather trail lawyers owned
it than the Cancer Lobby.
Speaking of the cancer industry, BIG tobacco offerred
to slit the throats of all their vendors if Clinton
would just stop pointing out that nicotine kills over
400,000 people per year.
How the hell can Republicans claim to be pro-family and
accept blood money from the bastards that call their kids
into the shadows and offer them their first free cigarette?
I have more respect for crooked cocaine dealers.
Cocaine deaths are under 1,000 a year.
The Dirty Bastard
We're trying to publish a humorous newsletter.
The fat bastard makes that difficult at times.
He's always gotten a huge amount of gratification
making fun of the recently deceased.
Another personal flaw, I guess.
The endless, endless Vince Foster jokes.
The dirty, personal slurs at Jackie's funeral.
The day he spend slurring Tip O'Neil when he died.
Then, there's the never-ending video of Clinton "faking"
emotion at Ron Brown's funeral. A friend recently told me
that the black-hearted son-of-a-bitch promised to rerun
the "fake emotion" video every day. I didn't believe him,
because I didn't think even Rush Limba could be so hateful.
But the times when I've caught Fatboy's TV slurfest,
he's run the tape every time.
How can "America's Treasure" be such a dirty shit?
Secondly, how does his studio audience and fans feel,
knowing he's wallowing in a cesspool of death jokes for
cheap laughs? Remember when his grandfather died?
Suddenly, Rush turned human and spoke of how sainted
his grandfather was, yet when someone close to Clinton
dies, he thinks it's perfectly OK to recruit new nazi's
using "funny" video from the funerals.
I'm told Rush ran the Brown funeral video UPSIDE-DOWN
one night because it was so goddam funny.
How sick and disgusting can this asshole get?
So now we have another death, Admiral Boorda.
No doubt, murdered by Hillary.
No doubt, Clinton will fake emotion at his funeral, too.
Did you see the video tape of the look on Clinton's face
as he read the note with the bad news?
Obviously, Clinton faked shock for the cameras.
(It's an election year, you know.)
No doubt, this is the spin Rush will put on this.
He loves a tragic death. So much "comedy" in it.
You'd think 40 years of service would mean something
to a man who claims to be pro-military.
If Boorda faked the 2 medals that triggered the death,
Rush will determine he was a liberal, and as we all know,
liberals are lying cowards that deserve ridicule.
When they die, their families deserve ridicule, too.
Like I say, I'm trying to have a fun newsletter,
but I'm dealing with a cock-sucker who's giddy when
innocent families have the worst day of their life.
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