Volume 249 - Bound for Gorey

 August 18, 2000


 Oh, I forgot,  ...I don't have to do that anymore.

 I'm just relaxing, there's a Voyager rerun playing for nobody as
 Mrs. BartCop experiments in the kitchen with tonight's food surprise
 while I do my Fourth Estate duties protecting the goddamn First Amendment.

 Got a whole lot of Chinaco Anejo left from last night.
 If you stick with the nano-sized sips, and enjoy rolling it around your mouth,
 tasting the pear, apple, smoke, vanilla and my favorite - the papaya collide,
 it just makes you want to write home and tell the folks.

 ...watching Jon Stewart, waiting for Chris Rock to come on,

 He's interviewing Dole, and Dole is killing this crowd!
 He said he saw every night of the Demo convention except Wednesday
 because he never misses an episode of Southpark.

 ha ha

 Oh, one other thing?

 After re-reading last's night's raw-unedited first draft of history,
 I did a Kool Aid joke that might've been misunderstood.

 Truth is, I was grasping at straws.
 When a Democrat speaks, there's almost no comedy material at all.

 Feed the hungry?
 Comfort the stricken?
 Save Social Security?

 Where's the comedy?

 Besides, I was kidding when I said the numbers were down.
 We went from 320 hits to 370 hits in one day, and that's not bad.
 Even with the tons of bullshit, I'm lying less often than the pros are.

 Whoops, there's Chris Rock...

   This actually ran yesterday, or recently, it's hard to keep track,
   but it was so good, I wanted to be sure you saw it.

  Clinton - still master of all he surveys

  As I watched Bill Clinton deliver his masterly valediction to
  the Democrats in Los Angeles on Monday, I was reminded
  of a guiding principle for understanding American politics
  that has served me well in the past 20 years. If you want to
  know what is going on in America, don't believe what you
  read in the papers. There is no substitute for flying across
  the Atlantic, seeing events with your own eyes and talking
  to ordinary Americans.

  This has been a firm principle of mine since the early
  1980s, when I first went to work in Washington a year
  after the inauguration of Ronald Reagan. President Reagan
  was derided by pundits around the world and throughout
  America itself as a cross between a village idiot and Dr
  Strangelove. His economic policies were ridiculed as
  "voodoo economics" by no less a person than his own
  Vice-President, George Bush. In his first year in office, the
  United States suffered its worst recession since the 1930s.
  And yet it was evident after just a few weeks' travel
  around the country that America was at a turning-point,
  that the Reaganauts had caught the flood tide of history,
  that the President himself had an almost psychic rapport
  with America's public mood.

  Never have the media - and especially the powerful
  Washington-based opinion barons who dominate everything
  that passes for political thinking in America - failed so utterly
  to take the measure of a politician as they did with Bill Clinton.

  How many American pundits imagined just over a year
  ago, in the midst of the ludicrous impeachment "trial" before
  the US Senate, that Bill Clinton would be remembered by
  history not as an embarrassing sexual pervert, but as one of
  the few truly great US Presidents of the 20th century?

  According to conventional wisdom, history will record
  President Clinton's political and economic achievements as
  no more than a footnote in a Karma Sutra-style chapter on
  sexual gymnastics. Nobody denies that America is more
  economically prosperous, more socially stable and more
  globally dominant than at any time since the early 1960s,
  but most commentators maintain that the President
  deserves little or no credit for all these boons.

  And virtually all Washington pundits believe that Al Gore's
  best electoral strategy now is to show a frosty disdain for
  Clinton's personal foibles, while emphasising the
  Vice-President's alleged involvement in developing the
  policies the White House pursued. Gore's own handlers and
  spin-doctors seem impressed by this theory.

  Why, then, do I believe that both these assessments of
  Clinton's legacy are wrong? Why do I think that the
  President will look a towering and impressive figure both
  through the telescope of history and through the microscope
  of electoral tactics?

  On the question of electoral tactics, recent experience
  suggests that American voters are often more intelligent
  than political pundits. If history judges Clinton well, then so
  probably will the voters. If the Clinton legacy is viewed
  with gratitude by the public, then Gore's best bet will be to
  present himself as the candidate of continuity and a vote for
  him as a vote of thanks to President Clinton. As for
  Clinton's "personal problems", there is no reason why his
  priapism should reflect more negatively on his successor
  than the Alzheimer's disease which began to afflict Reagan
  in his later years (and was certainly much more debilitating
  from a practical standpoint).

  But why should the public be grateful? After all, governments
  do not create prosperity. Profitable employment and sustainable
  economic growth are created by private businesses, workers and
  investors. Thus Clinton cannot directly take credit for America's
  superb economic performance and the first sustained improvement
  in the living standards of poor and middle-class Americans for 30
  years. But what this argument misses is the negative role that
 governments usually play.

  Governments may not be able to do much to improve
  productivity or create jobs, but they can certainly wreck the
  economy. To say that the Clinton Administration did
  America's economy no harm may sound like damnation
  with faint praise, but it is an accolade of the highest order.

  Consider how few other governments - not just in America
  but anywhere in the world - can claim to have done nothing
  to obstruct economic progress for two full presidential
  terms. Certainly this cannot be said of Reagan and Bush,
  who presided over two recessions, created a dangerous
  budget deficit and permitted the wildest exchange-rate
  swings in US history, or of Carter, who almost lost America
  its global economic leadership, or of Nixon and Ford, who
  coined the word "stagflation", or of Kennedy and Johnson,
  who inaugurated 15 years of global economic crises with
  their vast expansion of government spending and
  inflationary financing of the Vietnam War.

  This catalogue of blundering governments could be
  extended backwards through history to the dawn of
  civilisation and geographically across the length and breadth
  of the capitalist world. It does not prove, as is often claimed
  by conservatives, that the only good economic policy is no
  policy at all.

  On the contrary, many of the world's worst economic mishaps,
  ranging from the US Depression of the 1930s to the ERM fiasco
  in Britain and the collapse of the Japanese economy in 1997 were
  based on the premise that governments should use some kind of
  auto-pilot to set interest rates and taxes and then simply let events
  take their course. Thus to say that a government's greatest economic
  achievement is to do the economy no harm, is not the same as to
  advocate a policy of laissez faire. Both economic theory and history
  have shown that capitalist economies do not remain stable for long
  if left to themselves. Booms and busts have to be consciously avoided
  with skilled and responsible management of monetary and fiscal policy.
  Free trade must be actively promoted, often at substantial political cost.
  Financial markets are not always automatically self-correcting; crises
  have to be consciously averted or contained. Competition is constantly
  threatened by monopolistic forces; it needs to be actively protected and

  This is what Bill Clinton has done, by appointing outstanding
  people to run his Treasury Department, by giving political
  support to the Federal Reserve Board while quietly
  reminding it of its dual mandate to promote economic
  expansion as well as keeping inflation under control, by
  actively intervening in global financial crises, by
  encouraging his Justice Department to pursue an
  aggressive policy of anti-trust enforcement, by taking some
  big political risks on behalf of free trade.

  All this is just a longwinded way of making the point that
  Clinton crystalised in the most heartfelt sentence of
  Monday's speech. "To those who say that the progress of
  the last eight years was an accident, that we just coasted
  along, let's be clear: America's success was not a matter of
  chance, it was a matter of choice."

  From now on, it will be up to Gore to bang the drum with
  this message. Whether he can do so half as effectively as
  Clinton remains unclear. Late tonight, after his acceptance
  speech in Los Angeles, we may have a better idea.

  But whatever happens to Gore, Clinton's position in history
  seems pretty secure. On the most politically charged issues
  that divided America during the 1970s and 1980s - abortion,
  civil rights, affirmative action, sexual tolerance, school
  prayer and even the level of taxes and the size of
  government - it is the radical Republicans who are now
  desperately trying to silence their extremists and clambering
  on to the progressive, liberal territory staked out by Clinton,
  not the other way round. Above all, Clinton has removed
  from the political agenda the radical Republican demands
  for a minimalist laissez faire government and an end to
  progressive taxation that were hailed as irresistible in the
  years up to 1994.

  In Britain it is often said that Labour won the last election
  only by conceding that it had lost the argument. But in
  America exactly the opposite is true. Even if the
  Democrats were to end up losing this year's election (which
  seems most unlikely), Clinton will have won many of the
  most important arguments in American politics.

  See? I told you it was good.

 Subject:  Wonderful Timing!

 From: pajessb@msn.com

 Hey Bartcop!

 When I first heard the latest installment of the great Clinton cock-hunt follies,
 I was initially furious. But then I thought , this is perfect!

 The GOFP is really THAT stupid! A nice public reminder of all the festering,
 maggot-ridden bitterness and hate charecteristic of  the GOFP Gestapo.
 It can only help Al & Joe, but you can bet all the whore-commentators were
 harping upon Clinton's cock (yet again) during Al's big night.


 P.S.  I have been checking in with you HOURLY the past few weeks. You are an
 island of sanity amidst the garbage that 'passes' for political 'commentary'!!!!

 Two ladies chatting

 From:  JennyQ1@aol.com

 SanoLushis:    Today's the Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 JennyQ1:    Damn gore behind by 40 pts with working moms.  WHORES

 SanoLushis:     what can they be thinking?

 JennyQ1:    I don't know

 SanoLushis:     lazy low end do nothings

 JennyQ1:    Dumbya ALWAYS mentions them in his speeches, tho
                :    Clinton gave them family leave, health care, higher wages, jobs
                    ...now they want to punish him for Monica.     Cunts

 Subject:  payoffs

 From:  rgray@dmv.com

 I bet Nancy is fit to be tied.
 Cheney got 10 million dollars after working for Haliburton for 5 years.
 Ronnie worked 8 years for Nissan and all he got was 2 million.


 ha ha

 News from the Future

 Click  Here

 From:  thissteve@yahoo.com

 Subject:  Iron-clad proof

 How do we know for SURE that Clinton gets credit for the economy?
 Because the republicans predicted doom and destruction when the
 demos' economic bill passed in 1993.

 If the president isn't responsible, if it's the fed that controls things,
 if it's all really Reagan's plan kicking in---

---Why would they predict disaster from a meaningless bill??


 You have it exactly right.
 They predicted doom and gloom, but why?
 After the fact, they credit American workers for the boom,
 Were they predicting Americans would refuse to work hard?

 Sounds like they have no faith in the American worker.

 Here's a good e-mail I received.

 Click  Here

 Great Democrat Quotes

 "We knew the Republicans were going to so something.
  We just didn't think they'd stoop this low."
    -- Florida delegate Jeff Wright, on the GOP's Cock Hunt surprise.


 In Volume 247 - Clinton Cock Hunt II, I printed this letter:


 From:   rcahtare@utic.net.ba


 Bojan Èahtareviæ

 I asked where that e-mail address was from.

 Subject:  Worldwide Treehouses - Domain Suffixes

 From:   melic@newsguy.com

 Well, you asked:

 .ba  is  Bosnia/Hertzegovinia.

 Here's a site that lists them all:

 First, thanks to Melic for being a good detective and second,
 I think we can forgive BojanÈahtareviæfor not getting BartCop sarcasm.
 Several locals didn't get the "joke," either.


 Just as I write that, the next letter up is from Bojan!


 From:    "Bojan Cahtarevic" rcahtare@utic.net.ba

 Ba is Bosnia and Herzegovina .... an interesting country for an avid political watcher like myself .
 A Country ruled by 3 extreame right wing nationalistic partyes that even in the time of war
 ( that they caused ) maintained their evil coalition in practice if not publicly.... now they do it
 publicly as was the case before the war.... Here are a few facts about the place.

 The country borders Croatia on the West and Serbiaon the East.

 Croatia was untill January 3rd ruled for 10 years by the infamous right winger Franjo Tudjman
 and his corrupd HDZ party, now he's Dead and so is his party. The Country is now governed by
 a coalition headed by centrist SDP ( they are social democrats, they follow the "3rd way" of
 Blair and Clinton ) and leftist president Stipe Mesic ( a local version of Clinton, you can see them
 togeather at http://www.nacional.hr/images/24800001.jpg.

 He was also the last president of Yugoslavia before it disintergrated) . for more info on croatia visit
 http://www.nacional.hr/Default.en.asp the pages of the popular leftist magazine that exposed
 HDZ and Tudjman as a bunch of Crooks and Loonyes, the pages are in english. Croatia is
 by the way a popular meditteranean tourist location .... You also may know Goran Visnljic that in
 ER plays Dr.Luka Kovac ( he plays a bosnian but was acually born in Croatia ) Hess the local Superstar ....

 Serbia is ruled by Milosevic and all I can say about it is that it is a center of EVIL .....
 a Mafia-Natzi-Fascist-Staliniststate ..... Milosevic combines both Hitler and Stalin in one
 ....... compared to him Pat Buchanan is a Saint !!!

 The country is now on the national level governed by the High Representative of the International
 Community and his aides . on the local level the country is divided on the Federation and Republika Srpska...
 Federation is mostly croat (chatolic) and bosniak (muslim, but in a large part liberal ... alcohol is everywhere
 and so are the miniskirts ) and in effect the more prosperous part. Thats where I live. The Srbska is almost
 98 % ethnicly clensed of the other ethnicityes, that's where the most war crimes occured and that place is
 in deeep economic crisis .... Now we also have the elections in November when it is expected that our
 own SDP ( the only multiethnic party) will win the election in Federation and do what Croatian SDP did
 and finally end the reign of terror .... The solution for srbska will come only when Serbia becomes free
 like Croatia did (god only knows when thats gonna happen)...
 Both parts are full of corruption, crime and terror ... Its much like South America .....

 Sorry for bad spelling and grammar but I went throu Catholic schooling ......

 ha ha
 ha ha
 ha ha

 Bojan, thanks for writing.
 I enjoyed the tour of your country.
 Will you act as my eyes and ears in that part of the world?
 When something happens, be sure to let us know about it.
 I'm glad you get to live with the miniskirts and alcohol.
 You probably don't see a lot of luxury tequila over there,
 but if you ever get the chance to try the Chinaco Anejo tequila, go for it!

 ha ha

 Please write again, and I'm hoping people will see this and write to you.

 ...and your spelling and grammer are better than most mail I get :)

 Subject:  Democrats

 From:  carob@hub.ofthe.net

    I have enjoyed your site for more than a year (the check's in the mail, I promise).
 I do not personally know anyone who despises Republicans in general and G.W.
 in particular more than I do.  However, I don't share your unbridled enthusiasm for Al Gore,
 or Bill Clinton.  I hope Al Gore wins, but the positions of the two major parties seem to be
 that the Republicans will let corporations do whatever they want and the Democrats will let
 corporations do whatever they want within comfortable boundaries.

 Neither party has criticized the insane war on drugs, forfeiture practices, the disturbing increase
 in police brutality, features of the WTO and NAFTA agreements that allow a race for the bottom
 in worker benefits and environmental protection; nor has either party convincingly condemned
 the corrosive influence of money on the political process


 Charles, the problem is the crazy idiot voters.
 Take the war on drugs - the first politician to say something sensible about drugs
 will be called a "druggie" by the GOP and Jay Leno.
 Then the crazy idiot voters will "know" that that politician is a bad, bad man
 who wants to hook your daughters on airplane glue.

 Maybe you remember my defense of Clinton's refusal to back gay marriages.
 You and me and Bill Clinton know better than that, but the GOP and Jay Leno
 would run pictures of Dick Butkis and Dan Dierdorf  french-kissing
 with a caption that reads, "Welcome to Bill Clinton's America."

 People are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too stupid to handle the issues.

 How stupid are the Democrats?

 Last night, CNN did a poll of the Democratic delegates,
 asking them who would win in November.
 Remember, these are pro-active, attending Democrats;

 Bush 50%
 Gore 44%

 A. They don't have any faith in Gore
 B. They didn't even have the brains to hide that lack of faith.

 I can guarantee if CNN had asked the same question at Nazi-Con 2000,
 the numbers would've been 98% to 2%

 At least the Republicans have the brains to lie.

 Any idea why Rush is pushing the Moody Blues CD so much?

 Every day this week he's played some and talked about it.
 He's a regular Moody Blues commercial.

 Sure, I talk about Zeppelin and Jimmy Page, but not in an attempt
 to get you to go out and buy his newest CD.

 If I was the Moody Blues, I wouldn't personally sign a CD
 for America's most famous Nazi pig.

 From: JennyQ1@aol.com

 Halfway thru Gore's speech and Smirk is missing one lung so far...

 ha ha

 http://wwj.com/   has a poll showing Gore ahead by 17.

 I realize it's unscientific, but online polls are always pro-Nazi.

 Subject: what a surprise

 From:  rzavadil@concentric.net

 Just heard that stuipd bitch whore Peggy Noonan saying
 that she thought Gore's speech was a big flop.
 Guess he should have said something about dolphins.

 ha ha

 BTW - Thought it was a great Gore speech,
 one that makes coke-boy Smirk seem like someone you
 would be uncomfortable with hiring to mow your lawn.


 Rush Breaks Huge Story

 "You can't be a man and be a liberal - those are incompatible."

 ...so, apparently, Jesus was a woman.

 Subject:  GO AL GO

 From:  Nmmeeks@aol.com


 i think Al gave a really strong speech tonight.  i personally think Butch is
 too stupid to realize the beating he took but once one of the living dead,
 either Cheney or Bennett, explain it to him, Butch will wish that he had had
 a rendezvous with Pickle's car.


 Rush just came on here in K-Drag, and he loved the speech.

 "This was a good speech for Gore.
   It was a very good speech, in light of expectations."


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Pigboy just said Gore was ahead of Smirk by three points.

 Is that for real?
 Or did his stroke make him screw that up?

  Fasten Your Seat Belt

 Subject:  Rush said so.

 From: AtticusGump@aol.com


     I can see him now. He is sitting in a dark corner of his home, a bottle
 on the table and an ashtray full of cigarettes.

     The day was typical for him. He arose with a hangover, scratched his
 hairy butt, took a shower (his third of the week) and got dressed. He may
 notice the wife and kids on the way out the door, but more than likely he
 belched, adjusted his balls, and was out the door into his beloved, hasn't
 been washed in 6 fucking months, pickup. They all drive pickups Bart.

     He pours himself another drink, lights up another Marlboro and gets a
 little more angry. Over what, you ask? Bart, does it matter?
 The anger is there and it's real.

     He tools on down the highway, breaking every traffic law known to man,
 all the while decrying the lawlessness of the land. Especially that mother-fucker
 in the White House, Bill Clinton. He's to blame for his lot.
 "Yeah, that's right. Rush told me all about him. Bill Clinton is to blame for
 my shitty life," he thinks as Ted Nugent blares over the stereo.

     The last drink hit the belly hard. A small fire smoldering, just waiting
 to flare up and rage. The wife and kids are starting to get on his nerves.
 It's been like that for a while. If they would only be quiet for 5 minutes,
 I could think straight. He pours another drink.

      Work is hard, hot and heavy. Gandy-dancer. Fixer of railroad tracks.
 One of the shittiest jobs imaginable. He'd like to take it easy. Just like
 those welfare niggers. Sit back all day, get drunk and have babies, all the
 while sucking on the government tit. Rush told him about those people too.
 He thinks, "I bust my ass all day, week after week, [All right so I take a day
 off every two weeks because I'm hungover too bad. I work hard. I deserve it]
 and get nowhere. Damn niggers drive around in Cadillacs, and their kids wear
 hundred-dollar shoes. Bastards.

      He pulls out his pistol and holds it in his hands. It is heavy and real.
 More real than you or I will ever know Bart. He pours another drink.

       The day went as usual. Hard work with hard men. All listening to Rush
 spew his hate. Rush doesn't have to come out and say "nigger." They know what
 he means when he talks of welfare. After all, words mean things. Rush said so.
 After work a stop at the tavern for a few with the boys. Never mind his
 son has a little league game. He'll understand. Daddy had a tough day at work
 and needs to relax. I have more important things on my mind.

        He aims at an imaginary target. Boom. I could blow your fucking head off, nigger.
 "You're lucky I'm in a good mood." He pours another drink.

        The stay at the tavern took a little longer than expected. It always does.
 Better stop for a bottle on the way home. On the way in he's bumped
 into by an elderly black man. "Watch it nigger" he says. "I beg your pardon"
 replies the gentlemen. "You heard me" he says and walks in.

        Another drink. Another imaginary target. Another dead nigger.
 "Who the fuck does he think he is" he wonders. Damn nigger better watch who
 he bumps into. I wish the kids would shut up.

        He arrives home to cold chicken and warm milk. Fucking bitch.
 After all I give her. He picks up the mail. Bills, bills, bills. Past due. Past due. Past due.
 Fuck'em. I need a drink. Oh shit. Here comes the family.

       Rush is right. Those people have no morals. They're stupid and lazy.
 Living off my tax dollars. Fucking niggers. Gotta do something about that.

       "Time for bed," he bellows. The kids and wife know by the tone of his
 voice that he means business. The kids make their way quickly upstairs.
 His wife is not so fortunate. He wants lovin' and he wants it now.
 Wife. An acronym for "wash, iron, fornicate and, etc."
 Et cetera meaning "when I want it."

        The session, as the wife has begun to call rape, lasts only a few minutes.
 That's all it ever takes. A few minutes and he's gone. Out the door.
 I hope the fuckin' bastard wrecks and kills himself.

        The elderly black man was on his way home. He had spent the evening
 at a friend's house. A little whiskey, some cards and listening to the blues.
 A nice summer evening.

        "Fucking pig. She could at least act like she enjoys it" he thinks to himself.
 "Hey whatta we have here?"

       The coroner said the elderly man never knew what hit him.
 They estimated his body flew 50 feet in the air. No one saw it happen.
 Hit and run.

       That'll teach that nigger to fuck with me. The white man is the best man.
 Rush told me so. "If you ain't better than a nigger, than who are you better than?"
 The gun is real heavy now. He is sweating.

       They found his pickup down by the lake. Blew his brains out said the coroner.
 Suicide over his hit and run. Probably drunk.

      A drunken accident and suicide it will say in the paper tomorrow.
 But we know what it was, don't we Bart?
 Hate. The product of the pigboy.

     I love this country.

 This Just In...

 ABC News says Robert Ray is adding staffers to go after Clinton.

 Tennis, anyone?

 That picture is even on-topic.
 Pigboy says "the lesbians in the women's tennis world just hate her,"
 as tho that's a face one could hate.

 From: (withheld)

 Bush was introduced by a professional wrestler, Gore had Steven Hawkins,
 the man who is sitting in Newton's chair at Cambridge.

 If that doesn't explain the difference between these two men, nothing will.

 Celebrity Mail

 I watched it with my cynical hubby -
 Even HE was on his feet, cheering for Gore at the end!
   --Tamara Baker

 Another Satisfied Customer

 Subject: Are you nuts?

 From: CharfromER@webtv.net

 That wasn't only a home-run; it was out of the park.
 I used to hit your site 3, 4 times a day;

 Good bye asshole.

 Char is telling the truth.
 She's been sending me mail for years.
 Next time, I will only have opinions that please everybody.

 I'm a big hit at michaelmoore.com, too


 From:   thatcher16@juno.com

 What a freakin' loser bartcop is.

 ellen mckinnon

 From: (withheld)

 Heard Pigboy spin the recent range fires' effect on the environment...
 Always his weakest topic.  He spun it as the incompetent Feds stealing,
 and then destroying well-managed private lands, and asked how many
 species became extinct and how many lakes and streams became polluted.

 I yelled, "Zero!" into the radio.  These fires are all perfectly natural,
 and would have happened years ago, if we hadn't staved off the inevitable.

 And what about PigBoy's usual rant, that the environment "cleanses itself?"
 Here's a situation where it's actually true, and within a human lifetime, unlike Smirk's
 buddies' industrial pollution.  But PigBoy's strokes seem to have destroyed his memory.

 He went on to warn the ditto-sheep not to become overconfident, polls or not,
 warning them that those dirty Democrats have some particularly nasty "October Surprise"
 up their sleeves.  Is he admitting that there's been an October Surprise before?

 I wonder which current candidate's father was responsible for it?
 Is publishing Smirk's rap sheet an "October Surprise?"

Subject: bill maher -whore

From: vance_everson@yahoo.com

first, bm makes a joke about al gore claiming to have invented spell check,
and then he (and barney frank) let michael medieval get away TWICE with
calling gore a liar over the "inventing the internet" and "love story" lies.


those lies and love canal lie, and buddhist temple lies are the ones i keep
hearing brought up, and joked about, but never EXPLAINED.

why? why? WHY?

instead, they say: what about "no arms for hostages," what about "no new taxes"?
the big difference is that THOSE ACTUALLY WERE LIES, so instead of denying
that al gore lied, when he didn't, they compare him to reagan and bush, who did
lie, and got away with it. it sounds like sour grapes, and sounds like an admission
that gore lied (when he didn't).


If I had been running that convention, we would've heard a short speech
from Erich Segal, author of Love Story.

I would've played a montage of every GOP prick lying about Love Story
then have Segal come out and say, "Yes, Gore was the model for that character."

 Subject: Reaction
 (All letters have been truncated)

 From:   DARVI@prodigy.net


 Oh, Bernie Shaw said Gore "hit a home run."
 Did you hear that?
 I'm afraid to change over to FUX News just because I'm too damn happy.

 I know this is gonna sound sacreligious, but I wasn't this excited for Clinton
 (true, I was only 20, and not so intopolitics) but I really really love Al Gore.
 Does that sound crazy?

 Yes :)

 Good coverage, as always.
 How do you get the pics up so fast?

 I hired a team of Puerto Rican girls.

 From: (withheld)

 Relax BC...Sean Hannity was so much in full froth this morning that it will
 take a week to dry his mike and that is the perfect inverse indicator...
 you've been watching too much of the Fucking Occipital Xeromites that you
 are beginning to believe that REAL people think that way...relax, because if
 Kurt Thomas had been providing the commentary, it would have been:
 (cooed as if a 6-9 inch pole of 3-4" circumferance had just been shoved up his butt)

 "Oooohh, he NAILED it".

 From:   dbaker41@fuse.net

 BC:  Al needed a home run and he GOT ONE last night.
 He did what he had to do, he rang all the bells and blew all the whistles.
 Most importantly, he was HIMSELF -- even the vile Republicans had to
 admit that.  Pollboy Luntz couldn't say enough good things about it; he
 called it over and over again "a home run."

 People in Luntz's test audience were saying AL CHANGED THEIR VOTE.
 He asked the group, "How many of you have a better opinion of Al Gore
 after the speech than you did before?"
 Almost EVERY HAND IN THE ROOM shot into the air!

 Smirk is just a rich,vapid puppet, and we know who's pulling the strings!
 Al, on the other hand, is a MAN of substance.


 From:  LuckySoNso@aol.com

 Your lukewarm reaction to Vice President Gore's acceptance speech amounted
 almost to damning with faint praise.  The speech deserves much more than that.

 Gore's presentation was exactly what he needed to do.

 Without showing disrespect for Clinton, Gore accomplished this by his
 statement, "I am my own man!"  and by forcefully asserting that "I will never
 let you down!"  These lines were delivered in a forceful and very credible
 way.  I got the message right away, but then I have an IQ of 65.

 As a bonus Gore got in several good licks on the Repubs:  He made them eat
 the word "squander" again and he referred effectively to his Viet Nam
 service.  He demonstrated what "honor" really means.

 Thanks for all the great work you do.


 "Great speech" wouldn't mean much coming from me.
 People would say, "What else would you expect him to say?"

 I wanted a good, solid hammering, but didn't get it.
 Reaction seems very positive, so screw what I wanted to hear.

 From:  DENNISC@iadb.org

 The various political pundits kept repeating that Gore had to give the
 speech of his life last night to stay in the race.  They were all telling us
 that, because Gore isn't as dynamic a speaker as Clinton, Gore would be in
 trouble.  I watched that speech and, compared to Smirk's acceptance speech,
 we've got nothing to worry about.

 It reminds me of the story of the fellow in the campground who was putting
 on his running shoes after hearing that there were marauding grizzly bears
 in the area.  He was ridiculed by another camper who dutifully told him "you
 can't outrun a grizzly bear".  To which the first camper replied, "I don't
 have to outrun the grizzly bear, I just have to outrun YOU!"

 Gore doesn't have to outrun Clinton, he just has to outrun Smirk and that
 will be no problem.  Bring on the debates!

 Dennis Courtney

 ha ha

 From:   mike@reed.org


 I see from your page that you weren't watching ABC at the proper time
 or there would have been the mother of all screengrabs on your site.

 After Al's speech, after the balloons had dropped and the confetti
 cannons had shot their collective wads, there was a little boy
 singing a song on the stage.

 I don't know who the kid was or what he was singing, but he was there
 in a suit with a microphone. ABC had him dead center on the screen
 while Peter Jennings was tossing the report around to the various reporters.

 At this particular moment, George Stephanapolous was reporting from
 the floor. But all we were hearing was his voice. What we were seeing
 was this little boy singing into a microphone. ABC ran a caption under the shot:

 "George Stephanapolous reporting"

 It was beautiful. I was watching it with friends and couldn't help
 but yell out "Damn, I hope BartCop got a screen grab of that."

 Mike in Murfreesboro (Who could kick himself for not taping it).

 Damn, that would've been good.
 Judas Maximus deserves everything we throw at him.

 From:  bassm@ecn.purdue.edu


 The drummers on stage to greet Tipper included Mickey Hart, former
 percussionist (along with Bill Kreutzmann) for the Grateful Dead.  I
 happened to have the TV on Fox News (yuck!) just prior to Tipper's
 taking the stage, and Tony Snow (double yuck!) was interviewing Mickey
 about his relationship with the Gores.  Mickey said that he had been
 friends with the Gores for may years, had hung out back-stage at Dead
 shows with the Gores, and had been a guest at Al and Tipper's house many
 times.  Tony had a Dubya-like smirk on his face as he asked Mickey if he
 supported Al, to which Mickey replied with the celebrity quote of the
 night:  "The alternative is an abomination."  Tony had no follow-up for
 that response and went back to the booth immediately for brilliant
 analysis from their chimps and orangutans.

 Sorry you missed it.


 From:  maccum@hotmail.com

 hey BC..

 thought old al did great. nice jawline always trumps everything else
 deep in the american psyche..

 took in politically incorrect. barney frank, bianca jagger and the execrable michael
 medved among the guests. medved repeated the the flying-monkey right mantra
 of gore being a liar... those who lie reflexively have created this utter fiction:


 just as the flying monkey right came up with the story that it was CLINTON
 behind the iran-contra operations...

 was disappointed that neither barney frank nor the others didn't reply to medved's
 second hand lie, but maybe they thought it didn't merit a response.

 gore's in.. the betting is now only over the point spread.

 - macc

 From: Cheffeller@aol.com

    Chris Matthews went apeshit, totally verbally trashed Peggy Noonan right
 after the Gore speech! Chris Matthews! It was so fucking hilarious!

 I hope people saw this. (Send transcripts to bartcop@bartcop.com, heh) I tell you
 what, that guy can be a real ass, but sometimes he does/says shit that kills me.
 And Peggy had that tongue-lashing a long time comin'.

   Matthews said "This election is going to be wickedly close. I can imagine a
 situation where the popular vote may be different than the electoral vote. That close."
 And said on Leno that he thinks Gore will win, even with the Nader factor (neener).

 Gore delivered, and I must say, I was quite impressed.

 I liked nearly everything I heard. The majority of it. IF IF IF it wasn't just a sham.
 Though, he has previously come off fairly genuine and straight with what he says
 ...or I could be being suckerd, who knows.

 Early reports show even republicans that were deadset on Bush switching
 their votes to Gore after this speech. Wow. Hope it keeps up.

 From:  jhessert@earthlink.net

 I can't wait to see the People's President wipe the floor with Oil Boy
 in the debates. You think Condoleeza forgot to explain how many "three" is?


 ha ha

 Great Democratic Quotes

 For us to think of Al Gore in the aura of a dynamic Bill Clinton is unfair.
 Al Gore is no Bill Clinton.
 He may need a longer runway than Clinton does,
 but I think he'll take off and lead us to victory.
   -- Sen John Kerry, (D-Ketchup magnate)

 Philly Homemaker Makes 'Sopranos'

 PHILADELPHIA (AP) - Marie Donato beat out 28,000 would-be actors vying
 to appear in "The Sopranos," and she doesn't even have any acting experience.

 Donato, a 50-year-old homemaker and grandmother of three, tagged along with
 a friend to the auditions that created a, well, mob scene last month in Harrison, N.J.
 She mainly hoped to get a glimpse of one of the cast members from the popular
 HBO series about a fictional New Jersey Mafia family.

 The cast wasn't there and Donato never had an interview, but she did throw her
 photograph into a box. A week later, she received a call back from the casting
 company and went to New York to meet the show's executive producer, David Chase.
 Her lack of experience didn't stand in the way.

 "I'm an Italian-looking person," Donato said. "Honest and sincere. Very straightforward.
 If anybody knows me, they know I'll say what I think, right off."

 Donato shot one episode of the show last week, and had some dialogue. She may appear on
 more episodes, depending on how future scripts are written, according to HBO.

 From:  IMNAKED68235@aol.com

 i love your site
 i hate that fucking old whore dr. laura.
 i just wanted to tell you how fucking funny it was.

 BTW, the pictures are still there.

 From: (withheld)

 Yesterday on Rush's show, Bennett was on and he talked about
 "...the assault on our culture by movies and other things."

 Isn't that brave of him to say, "and other things."?

 Even Bill Bennett won't criticize TV,
 because you can't criticize TV without criticizing FOX TV.

 I wish I was Rupert Murdoch.
 It must be cool to own a TV Network, four newspapers, 40 radio stations,
 54 GOP Senators, 200+ GOP House members, one still-smoking neutered
 commentator who's outrage level falls by half when you snap your fingers
 and of course, one Lying, Nazi Whore.

 Five years ago, if you did a shot of Chinaco every time a Republican
 criticized TV, you'd be dead within a year.  Now if you do a shot for every
 Republican criticism of TV, you'll make Orrin Hatch look like Hank Williams
 Jr. by comparison (Hank Jr. is the most famous drunk I could think of now
 that Smirk switched to Ritalin).

 ha ha

 Jesus Twin Attacks Jesus Twin

 Tom Coburn (R-Word is Good) seems to be attacking his fellow
 Jesus Twin Steve Largent (R-Power-Hungry Liar) in local radio ads.

 Coburn is doing spots for his chosen successor, Andy Ewing, a millionaire
 car dealer from Proud-to-be-an-Okie-from Muskogee, Oklahoma.
 In the radio ad, Coburn says,
"When I ran for congress in 1994, I gave my word I'd serve
  three terms and then come home. When I give my word, I keep it.)



 but Steve Largent and Uncle OJ Watts also gave their word, but they
 both claim, "There's more work to be done."

 If Tom Coburn's word is good, why isn't the word of Largent and Uncle OJ?

 Subject:  Papax7

 From:  style_invitational@yahoo.com

 Just curious...
 Whatever happened to your religious friend "Papax7"?


 He's still around, and still insane.
 Every week or so he sends a 180 Meg "Papa's Cyber Weakly" to me
 that contains every fax the GOP sent him, but no original material.

 I'll put a link up to his next tome.

 Subject:  National Crisis

 From: quasit@anonymous.to

 Hey, Bartcop! Did you hear?

 Congress is about to launch a major investigation of the sinking of the Kursk
  -- it's a matter of national urgency!

 Apparently there's good evidence that the Russian sub collided with Clinton's cock.


 ha ha

 Great Democratic Quotes

 "Dick Armey being so concerned with my sexuality's getting a little creepy."
    -- Barney Frank

 Voltai29 Comes Thru

 Someone needs to whack that kid.

 Congressional immunity is not retroactive and does not involve treason
 felonies or breech of the peace.

 "The Senators and Representatives shall receive a
 compensation for their services to be ascertained by law, and
 paid out of the Treasury of the United States.  They shall in all
 cases, except treason, felony, and breach of the peace, be
 privileged from arrest during their attendance at the session of
 their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the
 same; and for any speech or debate in either House they shall
 not be questioned in any other place."

    --US Constitution, Article 1, Section 6

 This stipulation was added because the English monarchs liked to
 arrest members of Parliament on their way to vote!



 Chris the Screamer says Frank Luntz (GOP pollboy) says Algore did real good,
 his focus group says he talked about "all the right things tonight," and
 "Smirk is going to have to take a good look at what this means."

  ...I can see it now,

 the election will be close,
 but Gore's going to win,

 ....and I'm going to be driving the '90 Cavalier next year...

 Christopher Hitchens

 Boy, there's a guy who'll get a footnote in the BartCop Biography.

 The man who calls President Clinton, "that rapist," and calls
 Nancy Reagan and Mother Teresa, "those whores," is on MS,
 and Chris the Screamer is so fucking tickled at something he said,
 he can't get his breath and is giggling like an altar boy at a funeral
 after he just heard his best friend and fellow altar boy fart.

 Y'know, I wish I had a hundred dollars for everyone who's told me
 I'd be more marketable if I could just learn to curb my "expressive" language,
 Yeah, like I'm gonna put on a skirt for fucking Damp Rid.

 But Christopher Hitchens gets rich for calling Mother Teresa a whore?
 Wasn't she just named the most admired person of the century?

 ...but I could make real money calling Mother Teresa a whore?


 ...not at that price.

 11:58 CST Thursday

 Chris the screamer just said,

 "Tipper Gore is as good looking as Lee Remick.
  When Al Gore kissed her, he REALLY kissed her,
  like a lot of American male voters would like to kiss Lee Remick."

I don't mean to be the skunk at the picnic, but Lee Remick,
as you can see, is/was so damn good looking you'd drive into a tree
to enter the contest to win a date with her.

I like Gore.
I like Tipper more than the scared-of-censorship weenies,
but Lee Remick is/was a classic Hollywood world-beater,
where the First Lady-Elect is "nice-looking."

...I think Chris the Screamer needs some time alone...

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