Volume 296 - Condi, where are you?

 October 13, 2000

 I have two scoops - "Big time," with a Karl Rove scary in the middle.

 I can't verify what this is.
 I don't think it's a smoking gun, but it looks like something Bush
 would pay a looooooot of money to keep hidden.

 From GeorgeMag.com

 Click  Here

  Scary Business
 George Bush comes home a Loser!

 Click  Here  for the Austin Chronicle

 Click  Here  for the forever version

 You can bet this guy's on Rove's "get" list...
 (The sign behind him says, "George Bush Devours Children")

 When I read this, the hair on the back of my neck got the heebie-jeebies.

 First, read this...

 http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/page1/699220  for the Chronicle.

 Click  Here  for the forever version on the hard drive..

 Isn't that just about the creepiest thing you've ever read?
 I assume this isn't a joke or a hoax.

 Who is the Bill Archer in this story?
 Is it THE Bill Archer?
 Is this the Bill Archer the fellow who got an advance warning call
 that the Murrah building in OKC was going to blow in one hour?

 I know it went to Stockman or somebody like that first,
 but it went to Archer second, if I remember correctly.

 Granted, this is a guess, but after reading that, do you get the same feeling I do?
 Does it look like some religio-wacko organization is preparing for a Jihad?

 From the looks of things, the attack will come from within.
 If Smirk gets elected, the attack will come from inside the government.
 Is that how you read it?

 I'm old, very little scares me these days, but when I read that Houston Chronicle story,
 the phrase, "government prayer," flashed into my mind, along with a picture of a tank.

 Remember, you'd be crazy to trust me or anything on the Internet.
 But if that story is just half-true in parts,
 are you sure you don't believe in the Second Amendment just a little bit?

 Pierre Elliott Trudeau:  1919-2000

 Click  Here

 They say Clinton has a temper.
 They say Clinton has the Iran-Contra proof.
 They say Clinton has the proof that Smirk Daddy caused those
 American hostages to remain in Iran longer than necessary.

 I wonder if Clinton is angry enough to release what he's got?

 When your father is an American traitor,
 the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 Click  Here

 A comedy page is the wrong, wrong place to get serious news.
 But knowing that Smirk did all he could to derail peace talks,
 how do you think it affected the price of oil?

 Oil Prices Rise on New Fears About Mideast

 Click  Here

 ...and if you think Smirk and his oil buddies want peace and low oil prices,
  you may be too ignorant and naive to be reading  bartcop.com

 Today in History

 During a ceremony in Washington DC on this day in 1792, the cornerstone
 of the executive mansion, later known as the White House, was laid.

 ... and Bill Clinton denied all responsibility.


 The US Navy was born in 1775.
 B'nai B'rith was founded in New York City in 1843 and a big tract of land
 south of Oklahoma ratified a state constitution in 1845.  They called it Texas.

 RU-486 not an "Abortion Pill"

 RU-486 known as the "French Abortion Pill" has a misleading name because
 this pill does NOT cause an abortion. An abortion is the surgical removal
 of a fetus that is attached to the uterus. RU-486 works by preventing attachment
 in the first place, much the same way that other forms of birth control,
 such as the IUD and Norplant do.

 By calling it "abortion", the opponents of birth control hope to apply
 existing state abortion laws to RU-486 and thereby further restrict its
 use. If RU-486 is classified as an abortion, then the IUD, Norplant and
 even birth control pills would also be an abortion. We therefore must not
 allow opponents of birth control to fuzzy the definition of abortion and
 expand restrictions through word definition games. We should lose the "abortion
 pill" terminology and describe RU-486 as what it really is, birth control.

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco Ca.


 Begala Shoots the Bull


Gail Collins of the New York Times performs a wonderful public service in today's
Times by simply reprinting Bush's Tuesday night statement on the Middle East:

"It's also important to keep a strong ties in the Middle East with credible ties
because of the energy crisis we're now in. After all, all the energy is produced
from - from the Middle East. And so I - I appreciate what the administration
is doing. I - I hope to get a sense of, should I be fortunate enough to be the
president, how my administration will react to the Middle East."

Glory be!
We have a genius among us!
Quick, let's make him President!

It is that kind of dangerous ignorance, the blind recitation of vapid, vacuous platitudes,
that Bush has made his forte.  And yet precisely because they know Bush is so
intellectually thin, the media grades him on a curve: not judging him by what a
President should know and say, but rather by asking: Did he do better than a
not-so-bright frat boy after cramming all night for a mid-term?

No serious person describes Bush as intelligent or engaged.
They just say he's brighter than he seems, or that he's bright enough.

Let's go back...

In 1983, 241 Marines were killed by a suicide bomber in the barracks in Beirut.
Reports at the time said their sentries were standing guard with unloaded weapons!
Shortly thereafter, President Reagan did two things: he created a diversion by invading
Grenada -- a Caribbean island too small and insignificant to merit a Club Med -- and then
he pulled our troops out of Lebanon.  Reagan had risked those Marines' lives with no
clear mission, no proper protection, and no exit strategy.

But in the debate Tuesday night, George W. Bush said he would have sent those troops
to Lebanon as well.  Jim Lehrer didn't ask him why, but I'd sure like to know.

Reagan's Beirut deployment was one (of many) of the great Reagan errors, made by a
President totally out of his depth both in terms of intellect and experience.

And 241 Marines are dead.

Do we really want to take a risk with another avuncular dunce?



 How dirty is Smirk?

 Click  Here

From: joeb@buckeyeinet.com

Morning Bart,

Glad to be able to read you before I go to work makes the day better
dropping all my subscriptions except Liberal Opinon
why read anti-AL crap.

Going to be buying most of my Christmas presents on Amazon to support you,
fuck all those traitors especially ex-workers of Bill.

Have a good weekend will be reading you a true Dem.
not a whore fuck no matter who it is
mike moore can kiss my ass.
Toledo Friend


 Whatever happened to Condy Rice?

 All summer, she was everywhere.
 Meet the Whore, This Whore, Face the Whore etc.

 She was Smirk's proof he wasn't a bigot.

 Where'd she go?
 Are the rumors true?

 Have they been having an affair?
 The plantation owner's son and the pretty slave who could read?

 My, my...

 No wonder the press is giving him a free ride.

 Questions for Smirk
     One more debate to go.

From: bhaskar@solveinteractive.com

When they execute people in TX, they do it with 3 injections.
The second one collapses the lungs and the person starts wheezing.
They have invitees watching, frequently the mother of the person
being killed is present.

They say the mother screams... screams like nothing they've heard before.
Are you sure, Governer, that you never killed an innocent man in front
of his mother? Not even the one whose lawyer slept through his trial?
The one whose lawyer said it was OK to kill him becuase he was gay?
The one who died on the strength of one witness' testimony and against
that of two others? Why do you take such glee in talking about people dying?

OK, here's the short version.
Have you heard of "due process," Governer?

During the 1992 campaign, you often said the last thing we need in America
is another southern governor with limited experience in the White House.
Couldn't that case be better made this year than in '92?

Send in your Questions for Smirk!

From: (withheld)

Unlike you, I think that Bush could win this election.  I also recognize the
slight possibility that one of the candidates could win the electoral vote
while having fewer popular votes than his opponent.

Don't you think that Republicans like Rush and Hannity should comment now
about this possibility, instead of waiting until after the election to either cry foul if
Gore wins or praise the brilliance of the Constitution if Bush wins?

I would also like to see the Congress address the issues of suing the president
and banning Secret Service testimony now.  I believe that if Bush were to win,
Repubs in Congress may pass laws that forbid the Secret Service from testifying
against the prez and the suing of sitting presidents.  I think they would offer this
legislation as a Christmas present to W. for restoring honor and dignity to the White House.

At the very least, please ask readers to answer the following question:

New BartCop Survey:

"If a candidate wins the electoral vote but loses the popular vote,
 how does that affect his legitimacy as president?"

A.  No affect at all.  He won according to the rules spelled out by the Founding Fathers.

B.  Somewhat.  He may have won, but the doesn't have a clear mandate.

C.  Quite a bit.  He won, but his opponents have a right to be angry,
      and we should consider amending the Constitution.
D.  Completely.  The election of this man has no more legitimacy than the elections
      of Stalin or Hitler.  The people's will has been usurped.  This is the saddest day
      in our country's history.  Democracy is dead.

Please decide now, not before your guy has won or lost.
Please indicate who you root for (or root against) politically.

 Joe, you're wasting your energy.
 I've never met a conservative who could answer a simple question like this.
 What you've done is construct a box.
 A box forces a ditto-monkey to define his beliefs.
 Since there are no conservatives who can think without their AM radio on,
 you won't get any Bush supporters to answer your simple question.

 The BartCop Quiz has been around for about ten years now,
 and NOBODY has been able to answer any question in the BartCop Quiz
 without becoming a liberal, so they find it's best to ignore it.

 I'm publishing your letter on the off-chance that ONE conservative may,
 at some point in the future, come forward with the ability to think for himself
 to the extend he can defend his views.  ...but don't hold your breath.

 (For the record, I'd go with "A.")

Glavin pleads guilty to Hand-raping Policeman
 Friday, October 13, 2000

 Matthew J. Glavin, former president of the Southeastern Cock Hunt Foundation
 and holier-than-everyone Clinton critic, pleaded guilty Thursday to hand-raping
 a policeman with intent to gobble.

 Glavin pleaded guilty to one misdemeanor count of hand-rape and one misdemeanor
 count of pumping with intent to gobble before U.S. Magistrate Christopher Hagy.
 Glavin will be sentenced in December, but a date has not been set.

 The maximum sentence he could receive is a $5,000 fine, one year in jail and three years of
 probation, said Patrick Crosby, public information officer for the U.S. attorney's office,
 but it's most likely he would be sentenced to calling for Clinton's disbarment for receiving
 oral sex from a young lady instead of a cop.

 Glavin, 47, a previously-busted pedophile, was cited May 17 by an undercover U.S. Park
 Service employee working the hand-sex-crimes unit at a Chattahoochee River National Park.
 The undercover officer said Glavin masturbated in his presence and then gave the
 officer a "gentle wank."  Wanking is a misdemeanor in Georgia.

 Glavin resigned as president and CEO of the legal foundation on Oct. 4 "to protect my
 family and the foundation."  When asked why he couldn't better protect his family by
 restraining himself from gobbling cops cocks, G;avin smiled and said, "It's not the same."

 He pleaded no contest to a similar hand-raping, wank-gobbling charge in 1996, and was
 sentenced to six months on probation, a $1,000 fine and banished from the river park
 while he was on probation. Had he been holding a marihunana cigarette when arrested,
 Glavin could've gotten hard time, because pot, you know, is "so dangerous."

 Glavin, who "headed" the conservative legal group since 1994, fought to overturn the city
 of Atlanta's affirmative action policies and to prevent the granting of medical and other
 benefits to same-sex partners of employees. The stupid bastard wanted to practice
 the gay lifestyle while simultaneously showboating about denying them their rights. His other
 "pet project"  was his ongoing effort in Arkansas to disbar President Clinton.


 Clinton's actions on China spy case 'treason' in any other time period,
  says cop hand-rapist Matthew Glavin

TalkSpot News Special
04/13/98 James Golden (a.k.a. Pigboy's "Bo Snerdly") interviews the hand-rapist Glavin.

President Clinton's treatment of the Chinese spy case would be called "treason" at any other
time in U.S. history, says Matthew Glavin, who loves cop cock..  Glavin represents Notra
Trulock, an Energy Department intelligence officer, who says a Clinton appointee kept him
from reporting espionage. Trulock testified before Jim Pissquik's Committee Monday.

Clinton's cover-up of stolen technology by the Chinese in Los Alamos, would be called
treason "in any other time in this country's history," said the cop-wanker. "I don't know why
we're not calling it treason today," said Glavin on The James Golden Show on TalkSpot.com.
Glavin also says Clinton made political hay in 1996, by saying that American children were
safe from nuclear warheads for the first time in the nuclear age.

"Clinton knew that the Chinese had the technology to put 10 warheads on the top of each
 of their missiles," said the cock-hungry Glavin.  "And this administration was covering that up."

The sex-crazed hypocrite has also requested that Arkansas disbar Clinton for not offering full
disclosure of where his cock had been. Glavion said he needed, "all the details."

The interview with the cock-hungrist can be heard in its entirety at

From: sonia@hyperweb.com

I think that Dick Cheney and George W. should be held accountable
for their recent ravings about our military readiness.  Their claims about
our poorly equipped military and how our forces suffer such low morale
could have contributed to the terrorist attack in Yemen.

Tearing our military down in the eyes of our enemies was irresponsible
and they should be held accountable for that.


Sonia, I agree 100 percent.

But I'd still like to know why our men in uniform enjoy it so much when these
bastards so on TV and say our military isn't ready. If Rush even waddled
onto an Army base, he would be treated as a God, even after ridiculing
the military during wartime on his show.

It boggles the fuck out of me.

 Was Reagan the biggest liar in all of presidential history?
 Or simply the biggest moron in all of presidential history?

 You Decide

From: kevspind@indiana.edu

        Chris Matthews said that the recent violence in the Middle East
could actually HELP Smirk's campaign, because
A) It makes Cheney seem like a good, experienced choice, and
B) it keeps Gore from talking about health care and education.

I immediately thought back to the Mideast Peace Summit at Camp David
back in July.  Didn't Smirk meet with Barak and shortly after that, the talks
started breaking down?  Do you think Bush said something to sabotage the
talks, and the recent violence is part of an "October Surprise"?

I'm not the type that sees "black helicopters" everywhere, but this seems
like too much of a coincidence, especially considering the family history.....


Considering that his father forced 52 Americans to endure extra time at
the hands of their Iranian captors to get President Senile elected, surely
the son-of-the-traitor wouldn't mind stooping that low.

His daddy promised Hezzbollah tons of sophisticated missles if they
would just hold those hostages until after the election, so Smirk cou;ld
easily have made them the same deal.

Remember, all of the current deaths in the Middle East, including 17 of
our own, can be directly linked to Ariel Sharon "needing" to take 100
security people for a "friendly walk" into disputed territory, doing
everything he could to incite religiously-insane dunderheads in Palestine.

Having said that, it's my guess this works against Smirk.

If the Middle East shit really hits the fan, would America want an unstable
fool in the White House? Or a man respected around the world, like Al Gore?

 Question: From what you know about it,
                  did Hugh Grant "have an affair" with Divine Brown?

 This calls for  a simple yes/no answer - and no whining!

 Open Letter to Algore

 One reason Gore is losing the PR battle? (not the election)
 All of our big guns are stuck inside dead trees or cyberspace..
 Joe Conason, Molly Ivins, Lars Eric Nelson, Gene Lyons etc.

 All their big guns are on TV and radio.

 I could run thru the usual list of 30 Clinton-haters that dominate TV and radio,
 but where is the liberal presence on televison or radio?
 And anyone who says, "It's everywhere," should be kicked in the balls.

 Who do we have on TV or radio these days?
 Eleanor Clift, Margaret Carlson and Bill Press - any others?

 ...and "Tom Smith in Shreveport," doesn't count, you understand?

 And the "liberals" who finally make it on TV, (Stephanopolous, Mike McCurry,
 Dee Dee Myers) are stab-in-the-back traitors who now hate Clinton's guts.
 Stephanopolous was the first person on any television network to mention the
 word, "impeachment" to get the ball rolling.

 Judas Maximus was a goddamn communications director!
 He knew exactly what he was doing to his old friend Bill.

 Yet, the Republicans continue to bitch and whine about
  how unfairly the deck has been stacked against them.

 Who's the biggest liar of them all?

 Click  Here

 From: wildcat@horizon.hit.net

 The top 20 ways you know you're from Oklahoma

 1.  It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died
     in an airplane crash.

 2.  You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last twelve months.

 3.  Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

 4.  You've ever been excused from school because "the cows got out".

 5.  You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah and Chickasha.

 6.  You remember the name of the last state legislator to introduce a bill
      involving castration and he didn't mean farm animals.

 7.  You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.

 8.  You can recall hot summers by the year they happened easier
      than you can remember your mother's birthday.

 9.  You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.

10. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined
       by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.

11. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

12. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop,
      each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.

13. You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

14. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

15. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition and bait all in the same store.

16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol.  A Ford F150 4x4 is.

17. You understand the difference between 3.2 and 6 point and more
      than once you've made a beer run to another state.

18. You know that everything goes better with Ranch.

19. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

20. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

 Anyway, what *is* your take on the OU/KSU game this weekend?
 Me, I'm confident that the Wildcats win, but it'll be, well, a "slobberknocker".  ;)

 We don't care.
 We beat Texas - that's all that matters.
 Not only did we beat Texas, we could've spotted them 45 points and won.
 Our football season might as well be over.
 We beat Texas.

 Could be an exciting game, tho.
 Oklahoma is 8th, you're what, third?

 I'll tell you one thing:
 If we beat Nebraka, Frank Keating's wife will blow the team
 and offer her teen daughters to the offensive linemen.

Another Winner from Lars Eric Nelson

Full Story

A smile crept across George W. Bush's lips as he talked about yet another set of executions.

He looked positively delighted as he shared his good news with all of America:
He will preside over the deaths of the white men who murdered James Byrd,
a 49-year-old black man, in 1998.

"Guess what's going to happen to these men?" he grinned at the camera during
last night's debate with Vice President Gore. "They're going to be put to death."

Bush beamed in happiness. He was so enthusiastic at the prospect of new
executions that he said he would execute all three of Byrd's killers.

  Smirk, you got a lawyer?

 Chernomyrdin to Sue Bush Over IMF Funds Remark

 MOSCOW (Reuters) - Former Russian Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin
 said he would sue Smirk over his debate accusation that Chernomyrdin stole IMF funds.

 Bush attacked Gore over the administration's ties with Russia in Wednesday's debate.
 He said part of a $4.8 billion IMF Russian loan "ended up in Viktor Chernomyrdin's pockets."

 Chernomyrdin, who had been out of office for several months by the time the money
 reached Moscow, said Bush's remarks were unworthy of a presidential candidate.

 "It was strange to hear such statements from a politician running for high office.
 Making responsible statements is a vital trait for a statesman in a democratic society,''
 Chernomyrdin said in a written statement.

"It's a shame that Bush Jr. was brought up in another tradition.
 Bush Jr should be getting ready for a court hearing on the issue.''

 ha ha

 Of course, the punditry won't mention this, because they want to protect Smirk,
 but the wire services did.

 Today's Page Two Girl is from Argentina

 Click  Here

 Mobster seen at local strip bar
  By OWEN MORITZ    NY Daily News

 The Sopranos" caused another mob scene yesterday.

 Production crews took over a once-notorious Lodi, N.J., go-go bar for the
 filming of an episode of the hit HBO mob drama — and the best seats in the house
 belonged to motorists driving on heavily trafficked Route 17.

 "The Sopranos" set crews worked their magic to transform the Satin Dolls bar into
 the Bada Bing, the strip bar featured in the TV series.

 There was Tony Soprano, suddenly staggering out a side door. Cameras continued
 to roll as Tony, leaning to-and-fro, stepped into the unpaved parking lot. Seconds
 later, a long-legged cutie followed him out.

 The show’s highly secretive production crew refused to discuss the scene, but it
 hardly mattered to the commuter buses and drivers who snarled traffic as they
 slowed down and strained for a glimpse.

 "Get used to it," says Sue Sadik, who runs Sopranoland.com, one of about
 30 web sites that chart the series’ every move.

 "They started filming in August at a Belleville, N.J., funeral home," Sadik explained
 as she and a friend watched the filming from the perimeter of the parking lot.
 "I heard they really tied up Route 46 when they filmed in Totowa."

 This year, as the series moves into its third season, fan clubs are trying to determine
 the show’s mysterious "new guy." Heads roll frequently in the series and Big Pussy,
 a police informant, was whacked in last season’s finale.

 One of last season’s new stars, Furio Giunte (Frederico Castelluccio), a
 ponytailed hit man imported from Italy, was the big man on campus yesterday —
 toiling on the set for close to 12 hours, spies said.

 For yesterday’s filming, nearby businesses willingly opened up their parking lots
 to the production staff’s cars and vans. At the Party Box next door,
 a sign proclaimed a scene was filmed there on Feb. 6 this year.

 Perhaps the toughest job belongs to Michael Hernandez, who runs
 Premiere Caterers of Clifton, the show’s official caterer. His constituency
 is the 80 to 100 crew members who work 12 hours a day, whether in an
 Astoria, Queens, studio or at various Jersey locales. "These guys work
 long days, so we feed them a lot of red meat to keep ’em going,"
 Hernandez said. "Well, not all; Meadow likes fish."

 Numerous "Sopranos" scenes are filmed at Satin Dolls, which was
 declared a mob joint in 1992 by the state’s Commission of  Investigation,
 which cited involvement in the club’s management by a reputed associate
 of the Genovese crime family.  The state says the new owners are clean.

 Jennifer Lopez says

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