Volume 339 - Jack Rabbit Slim's

 November 25, 2000

 Great Camera-Straddler Quotes

 "They may have culture but obviously no morals if they are democrats.
   Let's kill a baby because we couldn't keep our pants up!!!!!"
      --Laura the Whore

 Hey, Laura!
 You've not mentioned either of your abortions - why is that?
 You can hide behind that same "secular humanism" excuse you used
  when you got  CAUGHT  lying about those very vulgar sex photos.

 I mean, you were young when you sucked your two "children" into a sink,
 so we couldn't hold you responsible, right?
 You told us in 1998, when your pictures went around the world in minutes
 something that I will not claim public credit for, that what you do with your kootie
 before you turn thirty is no problem, so why lie about the "baby murders?"

 If you confess, and explain to us how you went from "A," being a slut-whore,
 spread-legged-picture-posing shack-up honey  to "B," the saint you are today, why,
 ...that makes you a teacher, Laura.

 At least that's what you told that crying girl Friday morning.
 So why not take your own advice?
 Why not take some personal responsibility?
 Why not admit the two "murders?"

 Tell you what:
 If you tell your radio audience about the two abortions you had,
 I'll use my pull at Paramount to get you back on afternoon TV.

 ...but only after you cop to the murders.

From: scottcason@excite.com

Subject: What's wrong, asshole?

You didn't like me posting in your precious liberal forum?

You liberals are all the same.  You like free speech, until someone says
something you don't like.  You want the will of the people, until the people
don't want what you want.  I think it's very funny that you can't debate
issues, so you blocked my access to the forum.  Funny, and sad. Poor little
liberal, someone was saying something he didn't like, so he blocked me from
coming in the forum.

You are a sorry excuse for a human being and a total waste of skin.  You
might as well face up to it, Al Jr has blown it.  Blown it big time, even if
he does wind up "finding" enough votes for the White House, there's no way
in hell Congress is gonna let him enact any of his liberal program.  And
come 2002, Republicans will hold 95% of Congress with a Republican President
beating the pants off Hitlary in 2004.

It's ironic, Richard Nixon now has more integrity than Demoncrats do.

See you in hell.

Scott Cason


 Demoncrats?  Hitlery?
 That's clever.
 Think it up yourself?

 I've never heard of you.
 I've never seen anything you've written.

 The webmaster of the chat room allows everything but the most extreme,
 which is if you post xxxx-xxxxxx, xxxx-xxxxxx, xxxx a xxx, xxxxxx etc.

 I fear no ditto-monkey.
 If you've got something on your mind that's important,
 why don't you and I go at it live and see who wins?

 You seem like the type of guy who could shut me up pretty easy.
 You know where the forum is, ...doncha?


 ...were you just popping off?

 By the way, why are you going to hell?



 From Capitol Gang

 If Gore had a secret plan to steal the election,
  why did he call that idiot Smirk to concede?

 Croc Boy

 Do you know who Croc Boy is?
 I'm sure he has a real name, but we call him Croc Boy.

 He's got a special on NBC Monday, you should watch it.
 This guy might have bigger balls than Robbie Knievil.
 Have you ever seen what he does?

 You've never seen anyone this fearless - well, Susan McDougal, ...maybe,
  but Croc Boy will do anything.

 He's no Marlin Perkins.
 He's no Jack Hanna.
 He's no Joan Embry.
 No, he's a dozen times past anywhere they've ever been.

 During the summer, the Animal Planet Channel did a week on him.
 First, crocodiles.
 I don't know anything else that big, that can move that fast.
 Cows, buffalo, rhinos, elephants, even Saint Bernards "lumber" rather than move.
 But a croc can be on your ass in a blink!

 Croc Boy walks right up to them, and I mean right up.
 The craziest thing, tho, when the croc lunges, Croc Boy only falls back  a little,
 like Ali in his prime, getting out of the way of a jab.

 Oh, I just remembered:
 You know him from those Fed Ex commercials.
 He gets bit by a poisonous snake and dies because the antidote wasn't sent Fed Ex.

 I assume this special will feature a lot of animals, but check this out:
 Last summer, he spent a full hour f-ing with spitting cobras in India.
 These cobras were deadly accurate, hitting his glasses with poison 80 % of the time.
 Each time, he'd just wipe his glasses off and say, "Dang, that stings my skin."
 But he plays with these incredibly deadly animals.

 He did a show in Arizona desert where he kept sticking his goddamn head under rocks
 and pulling out rattlesnakes!  This guy is crazier than Bob Dornan!
 I'm sure he knows what he's doing, as opposed to just being a nut, but he'll walk right up
 to a rattler or a cobra and he judges how coiled the snake is and he gets in the snake's face.

 I could go on, but you get the idea.
 I asked Mrs. BartCop if he or Robbie Knievil had it rougher - she said Croc Boy did,
 because Robbie gets to use science and logic, but animals are just wild.

 You watch that show Monday night, right before the football game, but on NBC.
 I assume they've packaged together his greatest hits, I recognized some of the clips
 in the previews, but I think you'll agree with me that you've never seen anything like this.

 Maybe I'll video-capture some of his tricks.
 This guy is crazier than a drunk Dick Armey.

 When Margaret Shemo lets loose,
  you don't want to be the object of her attention.

 Click  Here

 From: Btw72@aol.com

 Subject: Letter to Bush Campaign

 I watched part of the Republican National Convention,
 and lately I've seen some Republicans protesting on the news.

 My question is:
 What did you with all the African-Americans?
 There were oodles of them in the summer,
 but the protestors are as white as Buffalo after a blizzard.

 Read "The Palm Beach Pokey" at your own risk

 Click  Here

 Florida Slavery

 Things haven't completely changed since the Constitution counted slaves as 3/5 of a person.
 Back then, slaves who had no vote supplemented the political power of the slave owners
 nonetheless by adding to their electoral power.

 America still separates voters by class and indirectly by race. In Florida, there is no state
 income tax to pay for voting machines. Wealthy communities can afford expensive
 equipment that assures every vote is counted. Poor communities cannot afford to take
 money from local schools, already economically disadvantaged by less tax revenue,
 for the luxury of modern voting equipment.

 The net effect is still that the votes of the upper class count more than those of the lower class.
 Punch Card ballots in Florida fail to record machine-readable votes as often as the opscan
 ballots of wealthier communities. Florida enjoys the electoral weight of poor and minority
 voters in Florida, it just doesn't give them the same vote. Bush's effort to stop a
 manual recount is designed to assure that wealthy communities keep this advantage.

 And in a move reminiscent of the brutality of the whip,
 Bush brings in hired thugs to use illegal acts and violence
 to successfully intimidate an election board and to stop the vote counting .

 The net result is that Bush will likely win Florida,
 and with the ill-gotten electoral votes of the entire state, America.

 America is Bush's nigger in 2000.

 Now, who can argue with that?

 Somebody disagreed with my review of Unbreakable.
 Can you believe it?

 Click  Here

 A Word from The Brew

 Click  Here

 Today's Page Two Girl is named Stacy

 Click  Here

 We have to keep our sense of humor, right?

 Click  Here

GOP Orchestrates Outpouring of Anti-Democratic Furor
 Eric Alterman for MSNBC

Nov. 24 - It's getting harder and harder to believe one's eyes and ears as
George Bush, James Baker and the Republicans grow ever more brazen
in their effort to seize the presidency with or without a lawful mandate. As
amazing as this sounds, it is distinctly possible that the 2000 election will be
decided by a bunch of riotous thugs, operating under the direct control
of the Republican Party.

What was an uninspired campaign for the presidency has become an
absolutely critical fight for democracy. Gore and Lieberman must ignore
pundits and party hack who say they must surrender.

The most significant outrage occurred Wednesday, when ABC News
correspondent Bill Redeker discovered that Republican operatives,
working out of a Florida-based mobile home, had sent in busloads of
hooligans to shut down by force the court-ordered Miami-Dade recount at
the Stephen P. Clark Government Center. Republican operatives also set
up telephone banks to urge their footsoldiers to join in the riot. Miami's most
important Spanish-language radio station, Radio Mambi, issued a
summons to all pro-Republican Cuban-Americans to come stir the pot
further, with charges of anti-Latino racism against the canvassing board.

The mob chased down Joe Geller, chairman of the local Democratic Party,
because they falsely believed he had tried to steal a ballot. He required a
police escort to escape. Louis Rosero, a Democratic aide, says he was
punched and kicked by the Republican goons. Others were trampled to the
floor as the mob tried to break down the doors of the room outside the office
of the Miami-Dade Supervisor of Elections where the votes were being counted.

When it was over, the rule of the mob was triumphant. The three
canvassers voted to walk away from the recount whose tally would likely
have led to Al Gore's victory over George Bush in Florida and in the
presidential election. One of its members, David Leahy, acknowledged the
protests were a factor in his decision. The other two, perhaps fearful of their
safety, declined all interviews. As the mob celebrated its victory, its
Republican Party masterminds transferred their mobile home/base of
operations to Broward County, where they employed the same tactics
against that county's canvassers on Friday.

Some conservative pundits have gone so far as to celebrate the triumph of
mob rule over democracy and rule of law. Paul Gigot, a commentator for
PBS's "NewsHour" and the Wall Street Journal editorial page, praised
what he termed the "bourgeois riot." Gigot reporting from the scene,
witnessed John Sweeney, a visiting GOP monitor, telling an aide, "Shut it
down," and thereby inspiring what he called the "semi-spontaneous
combustion" that forced the counters to "cave in."

A loyal conservative, Gigot was either unwilling to mention or unaware of
the fact that the riot had been pre-arranged by Republican operatives nearby.
Nevertheless, he got the sequence he observed right. "The Republicans marched
on the counting room en masse, chanting 'Three Blind Mice,' and 'Fraud, Fraud, Fraud'
... let it be known that 1,000 local Cuban-American Republicans [a group to
whom violence as an instrument of political intimidation is not exactly unknown]
were on the way."

What's amazing in the few reporters other that ABC's Redeker, that have
covered this explosive story is the lack of outrage at these tactics?

Not until Joe Lieberman came out on Friday afternoon and denounced this
dangerous development did the networks and most newspapers even
notice the story. Most of the press reports seemed to believe that the
Miami-Dade counters had simply changed their minds for no reason at all.

In fact, Wednesday's Republican-sanctioned riot is merely one facet of a
campaign that has been remarkably unabashed in its willingness overturn
democratic practices and ignore the rule of law in pursuit of victory.
House Majority Leader Richard K. Armey has announced that the
Republican-controlled House of Representatives reserves the right to
overturn the entire election should it decide it does not like the result. "We in
the House must be aware of one fact: In the end, when the final analysis is
brought to the House, it is our duty to accept or reject that," Armey told the
Associated Press. He is joined in these anti-democratic threats by Senate
Majority Leader Trent Lott, who has indicted the Florida Supreme Court
for allegedly ignoring "the most fundamental principles of our democracy,"
promising, "This cannot stand."

What was an uninspired campaign for the presidency has become an
absolutely critical fight for democracy. And it is for that reason rather than
his own political prospects that Al Gore must ignore the calls from the
pundits and the party hacks that he and Joe Lieberman surrender.
History has finally given the hyper-cautious Gore a chance to become
an authentic American hero. All he has to do to become one is take
his own advice:

Stay and Fight.

 A half-ton of mail and 'toons

 Click  Here

From:  billr@imagept.com

Subject:   A little perspective

We should pause for a moment from the current insanity to remember that
November 22 is the 27th anniversary of the American coup de Dallas.
John Kennedy, the last real president before Clinton, was murdered in a
multi-gun sniper attack in front of his wife and dozens of witnesses on
this day in 1963. In retrospect, this was maybe the first time that the
Machine truly bared its teeth in broad daylight.

The slow-motion assassination attempt (I can't think of a better comparison at this time)
of  Bill Clinton over the past 8+ years only serves to illustrate the
lengths to which the right wing in this country will go to retain power.
The 2000 election drama seems to be cut from the same cloth.  So here's
one to JFK, the gutsiest president of my lifetime. Many continue to be
fooled, but to those of us with any perspective, they did not get away with it.

Hopefully still,
Bill in KC

From:   garyrstephens@yahoo.com

Subject:    Complicated Documents & Right-wing weenies

I saw some so-called journalist ("Chris" somebody) on Fox News this
morning talking about the Florida Supreme Courts 42-page opinion
ordering that the hand recounts must be certified. At one point he said the
document would "baffle Einstein."

Okay, let me get this straight. If a complicated  document (like the
butterfly ballot) confuses Democrats, that's too bad because there's a
penalty for being "stupid." But if a complicated document is something
the Republicans don't like then it's a lot of fancy talk that even an
"Einstein" couldn't understand.

(Hey, maybe the next time cousin Ernest is complaining about his 1040,
we should just tell him that if he's too stupid to understand a tax return
he doesn't deserve a refund.)

Gary Stephens

 I can't believe how badly Gore is getting his brains beat in in Florida.

 Why is Gore laying down?
 Why is he refusing to fight?
 Why bother to put the nation through this if he doesn't want it?

 Asa Hutchison just held a live press conferencve on CNN.
 The ONLY reason Hutchison is in Florida is so he can hold a live
 press conference on CNN so an angry-as-hell man who CLAIMS
 to be a veteran can read his prepared question to Hutchison:

 "Can you explain why Gore won't allow veterans to vote in Florida?"

 I think the overseas veteran votes should count, but it's against the law.
 They're asking Gore to break Florida law and introduce questionable ballots

 I assume the "veteran" is on the Bush payroll like the "protesters" are.
 Where are our people?
 Where are our press conferences denouncing the Bush-paid-for violence?

 Hey Al, you have other, more important things to do these last two weeks
 than to get public opinion on your side?

 Did you just give up, Al?
 Do you have two broken arms, Al?
 Is that why you're not fighting?

 Jesus Christ, we're losing this fight 80/20 in public opinion.
 And, as always, the whore press is helping Bush at every turn.

 The press isn't asking that "veteran" for his credentials.
 The guy never even made it on camera - but he didn't need to.
 The guy's only purpose is to scream "Why is Gore fucking veterans?" on live TV
 so that shit Asa Hutchison can say, "I don't know why Gore is fucking you guys."

 And where is Al Gore?
 Where is anybody?

 Did you see Bob Dole on Fox last night?
 He was the old Bob Dole, "the meanest man in the Senate" last night.
 He called Jesse Jackson "the number one race-baiter in America."

 Yeah, Jesse's "crime" is leading a prayer vigil.
 But the GOP thugs who are breaking windows, injuring people and causing
 votes to go uncounted are getting the free ride - always - from the whore press.

 But I guess the press can't cover the democrats because there are none!
 Where are the Florida democrats?
 We've got thousands of Florida GOP thugs on every corner, talking to every camera.
 Maybe Gore lost Florida because there aren't any democrats in that stupid state.

 Al, why have you stuck your head in the sand?
 You're running the post-vote like you ran the campaign, Al, which is horribly.

 C'mon, Al, if you're quitting, get on TV and say so.
 But don't just lay there and let that idiot Smirk walk all over you.
 When this is over, we can't even say our guy lost a good fight.
 We can't say we lost to a better man.
 We can't even say the other guy ran a better campaign because our guy just QUIT!
 We're losing to a mean-spirted moron who's run the most ruthless and immoral
 campaign in history, just like Paul Begala said.

 ...and to make a really bad situation even worse, even few minutes the airheads
 on TV remind us Gore has vowed to fight to the end.
 Al, how are you going to end a fight if you never started one?

 I'm still waiting for you to use that hammer, Al, and you never did.

Tragic VCR Alert - Tonight - The Last Chris Rock Show (sniff)

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was so good, we sent it to the Academy.

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