Volume 351 - Never Steal Anything Small

December 6, 2000 

 Contributions - We have the  bartcop.com  credit card in hand.
 I am now able to purchase ads, but where?
 The budget is bigger than expected, thanks to you people.
 The "conventional wisdom" places to put ads haven't worked as expected.
 If you have a solid suggestion where to place the "Tired of Rush? Visit  bartcop.com" ads,
 please send your suggestions with "ADS" in the subject header.

 Oh, you just gotta go here.

 Sure, theres a wait, but trust me..


 Thanks, Ross

Click  Here

 Gene Lyons - it's all good

 Click  Here

 Live web cam of the GOP Leadership Conference Committee

 Click Here

 Thanks, Jack

Republican Philanthropist Pays Pro-Gore Legal Bills

SAN JOSE, Calif. (Reuters) - A high-tech Republican philanthropist
has undertaken to help Al Gore pay some mounting Florida legal bills.

Steve Kirsch, who founded Infoseekand has become one of Silicon Valley's
most aggressive philanthropists, said he was paying hundreds of thousands of dollars
to help Gore forces battling over thousands of absentee votes in two Florida counties.

``I think you can very easily show statistically that Gore won the election, and it is just
not right that the actual count does not reflect that,'' Kirsch told Reuters on Wednesday.
``Even under the most extreme assumptions, the people of Florida voted for Gore.''

Although a registered Republican, Kirsch has been a supporter of Gore's presidential bid
since he met him at a Silicon Valley fund-raiser featuring rock star Elton John.

He has thus far wired about $200,000 to Seminole and Martin counties, where Democrats
want to throw out 15,000 cheating Republican ballots, and has pledged another $150,000.

"There were lawyers who were about to drop out of the case because they were not getting paid,''
Kirsch said. "So I'm paying their legal bills.''

 Hmmm, that's almost worth a shot of Chinaco...

From: jrosenstiel@prodigy.net

Subject: getting readers??

Is that all you  want?  If so.  Send an e-mail to everyone who has visited...
With a link DIRECT to the 'late' page and the 'discussion' page...

How does that work?
I get domain names from people who visit, but not actual addresses.
You might have a point about going straight to "The Latest" or  the discussion pages.

The front page doesn't catch real readers as well as the other two pages...
And you want new readers  hooked..  I understand this is not a 'catch and release' pond.

ha ha

Ask them to e-mail it to TEN FRIENDS to e-mail it to TEN FRIENDS...

Yes, everyone should do that!!

OK...  Once you have the visitors -- how ya gonna make a buck?


Hmmmm, that last one is a tough one.
Actually, my looney plan involves making the press come to me.
As  bartcop.com  gets bigger, better writers are contributing and more cartoonists
are sending their stuff to be published. If we continue to grow hits, people might
send me scoops like they do to that pig Drudge.

Not that I want to be the next Drudge, but I'm not afraid to print something.

As  bartcop.com  gets bigger, I might get a picture of Smirk's cocaine arrest mug shot.
If that happened, it'd be possible to get 300,000 hits in a day.    Then,  as we gain notoriety,
somebody might think BartCop Radio would be a good idea.

Don Henley, Barbara Steisand, Robin Williams - maybe they're tired of right-wing loons
having a monopoly on the radio waves and might want to see a little balance.
Koresh, Robin Williams read some work by Damen and Affleck and boom!

Screwy plan, for sure, but if anyone knows a better way...

Thanks for the note,


From: englands2nd@hotmail.com

Subject: FYI....

Senator Robert Byrd, like David Duke, was a former KKK member.


Brian, you are correct, Sir.
He should be thrown out of the Democratic Party.
I don't like him - never did.
He's the world of all worlds - Nazi King of Pork Barrel Crap.
Plus, he thought he was so damn important during impeachment,
warning Clinton not to "tamper" with "the jury" while Hardon Kenny was
threatening people with dying in prison if they didn't see things his way.

You can go to Hell, Byrd.

We need to take him and "Beam my dumb-ass up" Traficant and, ... well, I don't know
what the Secret Service rules are on members of Congress, so I won't finish that sentence.

 News Flash

 Belinda Carlisle Go-Going to pose for Playboy Magazine

 Is this a good idea?
 Is this good for Playboy?
 Is this good for Ms. Carlisle?
 Is she pretty enough for Playboy?

 We shall examine the evidence like it was a hanging chad..

 Click  Here

 This Just In...

 The Tallahassee Taliban says they WILL hold a special session to steal this election.
 Thank you, God.
 Could you make sure they steal it at high noon, so everyone can see?

 Just got back from the slut-whore's website (Laura's, not Rush's)

 No info on how to advertise with her money-grubbing ass.
 (I'll continue to pursue that)

 And....  Laura has a guestbook at her whore site.

 Butt, she won't let you leave a message - ha ha
 She's too scared to let the public see what people think of her.
 Like the vulgar Pigboy, she has to hide from the truth.

 Laura - you're such a skanky ho!
 You've got the credibility of Joey Buttafuco.
 No - worse - you have the credibility of Laura Schlessinger!

 ha ha


 Since I have nothing to hide,  bartcop.com  accepts criticism.
 Matter of fact, we have a special "BartCop Sucks" section for the pussies
 who are afraid to debate. This way, they can post their little feelgood slurs and run!

 Oh, what fun to go to  bartcop.com  and slur him when he's not watching!
 How brave we ditto-monkeys are!

 I've been trying to set up a "Bum of the Week" debate schedule, but there aren't any sheep
 who can remember less than eight years ago when this happened:

 Why is that important?
 It's a tremendous time-saver.
 If a ditto-monkey knows his history, it's impossible to call Clinton "corrupt."

 I know for a fact that someone, somewhere, knows a smart-ass Rush-fan who's
 always jabbering about how great and smart and right Rush is, but where?

 Ther must be someone who's willing to debate that knows their "ancient" history,
 but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

 Cowards and sheep - we're surrounded by them.

From: Trxrita@aol.com

Subject: Ads

Hey, bartcop....

Dr. Whora is hard up for advertisers...maybe you could get a package deal


ha ha

I'm going to apply!
The worst that could happen is I'd have a guarantee the slut-whore saw the site.
You think she'd have the stones to sue me?

ha ha

I need her phone number...
Is it 1-800-mewhore?

I'll try her web site.

 The Multiplier Effect
    By Joel Achenbach
    Washington Post Staff Writer

 Click  Here

 Everyone knows about the hijinks in Seminole and Martin counties, where Republican activists
 "fixed" technical flaws in thousands of Republican absentee ballot applications. But that only
 scratches the surface of the malodorous, mephitic mire that is the Florida presidential election.

From: jotun@ziplip.com

Subject: Brian Williams kissing Ashcroft's ass...

Just an absolutely disgusting display on MSNBC a couple days ago.
The day Gore got the legal double whammy, they decide to parade Ashcroft out there
as some paragon of virtue or something that knew when enough was enough and put
the "people" ahead of his own interests by not challenging the results in Missouri.

Gosh, I'm a little slow, but I think maybe they were trying to make an....analogy?
Could they be any less subtle or beat the concession drum any harder?
So I watched this whole sham of an interview as Ashcroft went on about how it wouldn't
have been fair to the people of Missouri and the rest of the US if the seat was held up
(yea, I'm sure the Senate and the rest of the federal gov't would come to a screeching halt
...right, pull the other one, Johnny!) blah-blah-blah,

I guess the whole point of the interview was that John Ashcroft is a swell guy who takes his
beatings like a man, and Al Gore is a sore loser who cries like a little girl and can't accept defeat.
That really is what I think they were trying to say. Anyway, more observations about MSNBC
....would it kill them to correctly identify their pundits and "experts"?

Like under Pat Caddel it should say "Former Democrat" not "Former Democratic Pollster"
and is it too much trouble to tell your viewers exactly who "Legal Expert" Barbara Olson is?
And who she's married to?

Do they really think the average person knows who some of these lesser known jerk-offs are?

 From:  rshayes@btc-bci.com

 Subject: George W. Scandal


 I am wondering why I have not seen this on your site or anywhere else yet?

 Sylvia Hayes

 Sylvia, I'm not sure why, but I'm getting swamped with letters like yours.
 Two Things:

 A. We ran that story over a year ago - I think it was the summer of 1999.
       You can see the original at http://www.bartcop.com/panties.htm

 B. The reason the press won't touch it is -
      It has nothing to do with Clinton's cock!

 The press knows that idiot Smirk is an unqualified whore, they have proof.
 They've had proof for 18 months, but unless it involves Clinton's cock - it's no foul.

 I can't explain it, either.

Begala Shoots the Bull

The drumbeat from the Know-Nothing Class continues.
Why, the pundidiots ask, won't Al Gore simply concede defeat and
let us get about the important business of sucking up to the Bushies?  I can hardly blame them.
The Clinton Era has been a long, lonely walk in the wilderness for most of the chattering class.
The Clintons didn't like them.  Didn't like their arrogance or their condescension.
Couldn't stand their ruthlessness.  And they let it show.

Worse, the Clinton Era proved the absolute and total lack of power in the punditocracy.
From inside the White House it seemed to me as if 90 percent of the talking heads were
calling for Clinton's head.  And he wouldn't offer it up.  Day after day they told the
American people that Clinton had to go.  The American people followed it carefully,
studied it judiciously and told the pundidiots to pound sand.  Obviously what Clinton
did in his private life was wrong, and lying about it was terribly wrong.  All of that made him
a bad husband, perhaps, but it didn't change the reality that he was, in the eyes of the American
people, a terrific president.  And so they hung in there with him.  The pundidiots acted like
two-year-olds who weren't getting enough attention, "But our opinions matter!" they screamed.
"We get the best tables at the finest Georgetown restaurants. When we say he has to go, he has to go."

But he would not go.  And the American people would not let him go.
And so he stayed.
He survived, he succeeded, he triumphed.
He is seen as more successful in his job than Eisenhower or Reagan were at this stage of their presidencies.
He has become the most successful president since FDR, accomplishing more of the goals he set at the
beginning of his presidency than anyone since.

And in so doing he pissed-off the pundidiots mightily.

Perhaps that's why they're so cranky, so angry, so nasty to Al Gore.
Good Lord, the man won the election.
He got more votes than the other guy.
More Americans wanted him to be President than George W. Bush.
I know that's not constitutionally dispositive, but it's pretty damned important.
But only if you think the will of the people matters.

George W. Bush may capture the White House.
But somewhere in the pea-brain of his is the knowledge, the fact, the certainty
that most Americans did not want him in that job -- that more Americans wanted the other guy.
What's worse, his supporters can draw no comfort from the argument that they won the electoral vote,
since we know Bush's only hope to "win" Florida lies in legal technicalities, deadlines and the trump card
of the Tallahassee Taliban setting aside the will of the voters and giving W 25 electoral  votes by legislative fiat.

Independent, nonpartisan analyses of the Florida vote conducted by both the Miami Herald and the
Orlando Sentinel concluded that Gore won Florida by a comparatively comfortable margin
-- as much as 23,000 votes.

Cunningham Strikes!

Want to show the world what you think of The Texas Handjob?
Cunningham has four new T-shirts available!
Here's my favorite:


Visit http://www.cunninghamstrikes.com/left.html  for details.

 Great Nazi Gasbag Quotes

 "We're winning the debate every night on the Fox News Network."
   -Vice-Prick Sean Hannity

 Sure, Sean, that's because Alan Colmes is your hand-picked opponent.

 Who was that angry mob that shut down the recount in Miami?

 1. Tom Pyle, policy analyst, office of House Majority Whip Tom DeLay (R-Tex.).
 2. Garry Malphrus, majority chief counsel and staff director, House Judiciary subcommittee on criminal justice.
 3. Rory Cooper, political division staff member at the National Republican Congressional Committee.
 4. Kevin Smith, former House Republican conference analyst and more recently of Voter.com.
 5. Steven Brophy, former aide to Sen. Fred D. Thompson (R-Tenn.), now working at the consulting firm KPMG.
 6. Matt Schlapp, former chief of staff for Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-Kan.), now on the Bush campaign staff in Austin.
 7. Roger Morse, aide to Rep. Van Hilleary (R-Tenn.).
 8. Duane Gibson, aide to Chairman Don Young (R-Alaska) of the House Resources Committee.
 9. Chuck Royal, legislative assistant to Rep. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.).
10. Layna McConkey, former legislative assistant to former Rep. Jim Ross Lightfoot (R-Iowa),
     now at Steelman Health Strategies.

 ...and these sons of bitches want to lecture us on the rule of law?

 And where were the whore networks?
 Why didn't they do their job and identify the criminals?

 The Fascist GOP made this out to be some kind of citizen's rebellion,
 when all the time it was goons from the Rent-a-Nazi corporation.

 And where was the whore press?

 Bending over for Smirk, just like they've done for almost two years.

 Sunday night, Elton John was in K-Drag.
 That took some courage, let's give Elton a hand....

 Elton's never been my favorite, but you can't discount his body of music
 or his fan base. I remember around 20 years ago he did his Playboy interview.
 Playboy asked him how you know if you have a hit record on your hands.
 Elton replied, "I don't know - Led Zeppelin and myself are the only acts
 that have never had a album that wasn't a huge success, but I can't say why."

 They said it was just Elton and his piano and he tore the roof off the dump.

 Your Song,
 The Greatest Gift,
 Someone Saved My Life Tonight.
 Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road,
 then the "intensely personal" Rocket Man, (no explanation given)
 Tiny Dancer,
 Philadephia Freedom,
 Etude (?)
 Crocodile Rock,
 Don't Let the Sun Go Down on me,

 The reviewer for the K-Drag "Bush is smart" Tulsa newspaper wrote:

 Then John introduced a new song written about the murder of
 gay college student Matthew Shepherd called "American Triangle"
 At the end of the song, John didn't stand for the applause;
 he reached for a handerchief and wiped his eyes.

 ...which might have been the first tears ever shed for a "faggot" in this
 Koresh-forsaken, shit-hole of backwards-thinking hell they call Oklahoma.

 Then to end the show, The Circle of Life, Benny and the Jets
 and he closed with Candle in the Wind.

 I'd like to thank the citizens of Oklahoma for not murdering Elton.
 Yes, Elton John is gay, and you Bible thumpers have your orders, don't you?
 Thanks for allowing him to pass through our town without injury.

From:  slcrand@uswest.com

Subject:   Tuesday's rant

Just a couple thoughts for today.

#1.  Isn't it ironic that the election might now cum down to "seminal" county?
Don't shoot your entire wad on this one Mr. Vice-President.
Kinda makes me wish there was a blue dress involved.
Gee, I hope everything goes "fluidly".

#2.  Now that it appears "lower-case w" and his thugs are going to steal
this election, they are calling on everyone to accept "lower-case" as
everyone's president.  That "unite-not-divide" thing.  Well, I'll tell you what.

You repubs apologize for your constant "dividing" for the last eight years
and then maybe I'll consider your offer.  Until then, I'll treat  your president
the same way you treated mine, with distrust, disdain, indignation, vitriol,
and a whole bunch of other  fifteen-dollar words you don't understand.

Thank you
Steve Crandall

 Ruby Feedback

 Click  Here

From:   VH3025@aol.com

Subject:   Bush Christmas Card

The Bush family has more class than Gore ever dreamed of having.
Shame on you for representing them in the form of the KKK.
Better you should check with Al about his Daddy's involvement.

From:   rosefahl@hotmail.com

Subject:   Bush Xmas card

Regarding the Bush Xmas card you are really sick!!

Rose Fahl

From:   ReddingFord@aol.com



 Gore Won Florida
 If the count had been accurate.

 Click  Here

 A triple shot of mail and toons

 Click  Here

 More proof

 Laura Schlessinger is not on the radio to help people.
 Her show exists to generate revenue by creating controversy, which manifests itself
 in the form of arguing with every caller, even if it contradicts a previously stated belief.

 I just heard a caller say he didn't want to go to someone's house because they insisted
 that all visitors take off their shoes when then enter. Laura jumped on the guy and
 told him he should respect the wishes of the homeowner and stop being a putz.

But I also remember a call not that long ago when a woman said she just bought
new carpeting and she wanted all her guests to remove their shoes when they entered
and Laura jumped on her for being a picky bitch.

I know Laura has a lot of fans (probably not a lot reading  bartcop.com ) who stand
behind this argumentative fence-straddler who disagrees with anyone who calls, regardless
of her previously stated positions, but I'd sure like to get one of those fans in the box.

How bad is it for The Dr. Laura TV Show?

The show now counts among its advertisers "Madame FiFi's Love Plant,"
which promises "magical love seeds, love pellets, love scroll and a pot."

I heard the Nazi sow the other day, begging for advertisers.

"Please call and tell us what you'll advertise - the TV show, the radio show
 - you can name your own package, but you have to be strong because the
 forces of evil  (people who don't hate blacks and gays)  are alligned against us."

With all her millions, she's whoring for more.
She's just like that vulgar Pigboy - still whoring coffee mugs and horseshit products
like an "Al Gore is a risky scheme" bumper stickers - to what end?
He's got his $100,000,000 and that's not enough!
He wants every last nickle from every ditto-monkey in the country.

Trust me, folks: It's not about political idealism.
For Laura and the vulgar Pigboy, it's cash, pure and simple.
If there was a market for trashing the idiot wartime deserter, they'd switch.

One other thing, a cortical sidebar:

Laura's number one schtick is save the children - "Each child must have
a mummy and a daddy to have a chance to grow up normal and balanced."

Yet, if some kid with no Dad gets caught shoplifting or doing drugs, her solution
is to throw them in prison with the murderers and rapists. That's a problem the
entire GOP has, and they've never been able to adequately explain themselves.
They want to be so "pro-family" while throwing the book at every kid who
grew up without a dad in a bad neighborhood.

More GOP racism?
Or just plain, old-fashioned whoring?

 Great GOP Quotes

ôAlways give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty;
  always remember, others may hate you, but those  who hate you donÆt win,
  unless you hate them, and then, you destroy yourself.ö
     --Richard Nixon, a man who didn't give his best, got discouraged, was petty,
        who hated others which ended up destroying him and his presidency.

From:  Silversnowstorm@yahoo.com

Subject:  Of all people...

Of all people, I would believe that you, Bartcop, would be the most
ecstatic of any person in the country about Smirk's upcoming Presidential
regime. Yeah, true, we'll have a conservative Republican back in the White
House, but look at the upside:

1. Smirk (who, I swear, looks like one of the elves in Santa's Workshop..
give him some Spock ears and some of Pigboy's stockings) will make
Jesse Ventura look like an organized, committed government official. It's
almost infinite material for your site, which will gain visitors in droves
once the Republicans take over in D.C. and people need a refuge from the
Jesusification of America. You'll be rich.

2. Smirk, Delay, Dick, and their cronies will all enact some "limits to
freedom" legislation, making sites like yours less than legal. And people
love that outlaw image, especially when the CIA tries to take down your
site. (By the way, I know of some good Russian web servers, just in case.)
You'll be famous.

3. With a narrow margin in the House, a split Senate, and far less than
the mandate of the people, the Republicans are not going to come close
to the lofty goals that they set for themselves in Philadelphia. Most likely
they will walk the moderate thin line for four years to try and repair the
deep wounds this election inflicted on the American respect for
politicians, which would essentially be the same path that a
Democrat-controlled government would do in this situation.

You'll be rich, famous, and suffer no ill-effects from it. I'd be happy.

K Hill

"Happy" isn't the word for it, but I learned years ago in my gambling days
that it's best to have a plan for whichever way a contest comes out.
And rich and famous isn't what I'm looking for.

Have you ever seen Gary Trudeau, who wrotes Doonesbury?
That's about as famous as I'd want to get.
I was small-time "famous" for a couple of years here in K-Drag
and it was much more bad news than good news.

As bad as this election looks, it isn't 100 percent over yet,
but bracing for a Smirk presidency wouldn't be a bad idea.

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was so good, Smirk tried to shut me down!

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