Volume 358 - A Charge to Steal

 December 14, 2000

 Sign the Petition to Impeach Smirk


 This website?
 Some people are upset.


 It's the official web site of Florida Sec of State Katherine the Bitch.
 It seems to officially say Gore won by 250 votes,
 but what they're missing is the next line, which says Fed Abs.

 I'm guessing the Fed Abs means federal absentee ballots.
 When you add the 1500 for Smirk and the 800 for Gore,
 Smirk wins again.

 Your Vote Doesn't Count
  by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo of American Politics Journal

 Click  Here


 If there was a God, we would need Him now, since
 the Supreme Court has gone from clowns to Nazi whores.

From: jlakely@freelancestar.com

Subject: Yeah, this is hate mail

You post that despicable picture of George W. Bush and have the temerity
to accuse FreeRepublic.com of being a hate site? Typical of liberals to
consider true viciousness funny or cruel when directed at Republicans,
but to call sharp words directed toward Democrats as hate speech.

Fortunately, the First Amendment protects the nation from the true
fascists of this country: Liberals who wish to suppress all speech that
they don't agree with.

Jim Lakely
Fredericksburg, Va.

Y'know, all these wise guys write to me with this big attitude - until -
 until I ask them if they're up for a debate and then they "have to go."

 I'll confess - I always thought I had the gift of debate, but I never really knew
 I had anything going until I made G Gordon Liddy eat it on the air..
 Geez, that was pre-newsletter, maybe 1994 or 95.

 I faxed the "BartCop Quiz" to Liddy and he read it on the air and then proceeded
 to duck and dodge every question, proving he was caught in my trap.
 Why do conservatives always talk real big - until they have a chance to back it up?

 Jim, this isn't your fault, from your point of view you just dropped by, but I'll bet
 my readers are tired of me printing these "Oh, yeah?" letters, only to have the
 challenger wimp away with his tail between his legs at crunch time.

 I know - if I keep searching this big blue ball we call Earth - someday, some time,
 I'll run into a conservative who has the balls to engage in a little friendly debate.

 Jesus Christ, this will be Volume 358 of  bartcop.com
 Do you think I'll find Mr Big Balls in the first thousand issues?

 So Jim, if you know anyone on your side who can debate, even a little, would you
 tell him that Ol' BartCop's been whining about his lack of opponents for 5 years?


  Boatload of good mail

  Click  Here

 From:  foleyda@massed.net

 Subject:   Recount

 To the Florida Supreme Court

 Set a uniform standard and then go count the votes anyway. Screw the jackals
 on the Federal Supreme Court. Let's rub their noses in the feces they have created.

 Their ruling doesn't stop the recount, it just means the new tabulation doesn't count.
 Let's start a fundraiser to pay the people to do the count. Let's humiliate the clowns
 for what they have done. Let's show who really won the election.

 How to treat the new administration
  by Teabow

 Click  Here

 Thursday, first hour

 Pigboy's gotten two calls from conservatives saying,
 "Rush, we won. Don't you have any idea what that means?
   Can't you knock off the Nazi hate for just one day?
   Can't you get off Gore's back for just five minutes and be a decent human being?"

 ...and, of course, Rush said no, because he lives to hate.
 That's all the Republicans have had since 1980.
 That's why they won this race - because they hate Bill Clinton so much,
 they threw away their differences and joined together as one.

 Then, he attacked the callers, saying they weren't "real" conservatives,
 which might be true if they weren't totally consumed with hate.

 So he goes to a break, then comes back whining that alllll the media is talking about
 Rush and the fact that he's got nothing to talk about anymore, so he mocks those
 people for saying that, when he just got thru telling his fans to go to hell because
 they wanted him to knock off the Gore bashing which is all he has.

 Roger Ebert is madder than Hell

 Click  Here

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "...yeah, I saw that on Jim O'Reilly's show last night,"

  ...uh, ....your stroked-out Pigness?
 That's BILL O'Reilly.
 We've talked about this several times before, Rush.
 We can't your small mind understand that it's BILL O'Reilly?
 I mean, can't your staff write it down, if you're too goddamn lazy to?

 What could be worse than a mean-spirited, stroked-out, burned-out Nazi
 whose fans are turning on him because he's Johnny One-note with the hate?

 Lynching the Black Vote

 Click  Here


 The vulgar Pigboy is still screaming, "What do the liberals have against the military?"

 He's STILL whining about that been-dead-for-a-month issue.
 He knows he's hosing the stupider members of his audience, but he doesn't care.

 When it comes to the undated, unsigned, non-witnessed ballots, he wants to scream,
 "Do the decent thing" instead of "Follow the law."

 When it comes to counting ALL the votes, he screams "Follow the law,"
 instead of "Let's do the right thing."

 Trouble is, the Demcorats said a month ago, "Fine - count all the votes,"
 but Pigboy is STILL screaming, "Why do they hate the military?"

 It reminds me of "Arlington-gate," which never existed.
 After it was proven that the Democrats were NOT selling grave sites,
 Rush was STILL screaming, "Why does Clinton pee on their graves?"

 He knows he's lying, so do we, so do the smarter sheep.
 It's the stupider sheep that worry me.

 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

 Click  Here

 The Rest of the Story

 In 1971, George Harrison attended a Led Zeppelin concert in England.   Minutes before the
 show was to start, Harrison was joking around with Zeppelin's  wild-man drummer,  John Bonham.
 George asked if John if he fancied taking in a few pints after the show.

 Bonzo, as he was aptly called, ask Harrison if he was going to be around that long.

 Harrison:  That long? What do you mean? How long are you going to play?

 Bonham:   Three hours, maybe longer. It depends on Jimmy and the crowd.

 Harrison:  Crikey! When we played, we liked to play for 30 minutes and go home.

 Bonham:  Things have changed since your day, old man...

 Harrison:  By the way, how come you guys never play any slow songs?

 Bonham: We play slow songs, you got crap in your ears?

 Harrsion: No, I mean a real slow love song. You don't play any of those.

 Bonham: Gotta run, the show's starting.

 So after the show, Bonham told Jimmy what Harrison had said about Led Zeppelin
 never playing any slow songs.  Later, Jimmy worked out some chords for a nice,
 slow love song.  It became known as The Rain Song, and it was one of the prettiest
 and one of the saddest songs the band would ever record.

 ...and just to let George know Bonham gave him that message,  Jimmy opens
 The Rain Song with the same two notes that open Harrison's "Something."

 ...and that is the rest of the story.

 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 In his dissent Justice John Paul Stevens predicted that the real loser would be
 people's respect for the court system.  He was right.  In the latest NBC/Reuters poll,
 58 percent of Americans say the votes in Florida were never fairly counted, half of
 Americans say their confidence in the system has been shaken, and by a 48 percent
 to 43 percent plurality, Americans say the Supreme Court was political, not objective.

From:  muddro@shymail.com

Subject:   http://www.votewithamerica.com/

Anyone who feels robbed by the Supreme Court should visit this website.
Why? Because it affords you the opportunity to send feedback to over 50
electors in various states assigned to vote for Bush. We may be able to
convince a few to switch votes.

In addition, there is further contact information for over 150 electors there
(phone numbers, address, etc).

ANYONE interested in continuing the fight should visit http://www.votewithamerica.com/
without delay!

 Great Republican Quotes

 "The presidency is more than an honor, more than an office.
    It is a charge to keep."
      -- The Un-elected Smirk, our appointed president


 After what YOU did to steal the White House over the will of the voters?

 How would you like to get steaming mad?

 Click  Here

From: GValeri643@aol.com

Subject: My pledge to Alleged-President Bush

I pledge to be JUST as bipartisan and fair to Smirk, and extend him the SAME
fair treatment Conservatives gave President Clinton when he won in 1992.

It pisses me off to no end having watched wingnut after wingnut last night on TV saying
how we need to "put an end to the partisanship we have had in Washington"


They were sniffing around Clinton's undies from the MINUTE he announced he was
running for President, and NEVER let up!   Even Newt "family values" Gingrich
(he's on wife #3 these days, isn't he?) joined the parade of GOPers last night calling
for an end to the hatred in  Washington! Give me a freaking break....

I also pledge to remind my Conservative buddies that the GOP owns the White House
AND Congress now..(not to mention the Supreme Court) If they FAIL to abolish abortion,
public schools, reinstitute slavery and eliminate the national debt, they CAN'T blame it on
ANYONE but themselves! They will piss off their Conservative base if they DON'T
push all those Conservative issues.

Let's see if they have the balls to commit political suicide.  :)

Keep up the good work, Bartcop!
I have given your web address to everyone I know
...and also post the address in AOL political chat rooms.
I take FULL credit for the increase in "hits" you've been getting  :)

Valerie, you have a good point.
We should all back Smirk like Rush/Liddy/Laura/Hannity has backed Clinton
Thanks for the note and the extra hits!

 By asilx3@hotmail.com

 Now, would you like to get even more steaming mad?
 Mary McGrory did.

 Click  Here

From: mckeehan@engrpros.com

Subject: limbo letter


Make sure you get the latest "Limbo Letter," limbo's periodical.......

It might not be the newest one. It is still available at some outlets.
I read it last night at Border's. Anyway,  Limbo goes on and on about how the
election is going to be a landslide, what an incredible genius he (Limbo) is, etc. etc.

It is also good reading for the conservative ideologue.
Show it to your conservative friends, ask them to read it, them ask them,
"are you sure that you want to be associated with this type of core beliefs?"
It is just chock-full of fallacy, ad hominiem attacks, and hateful spew.

My defining Limbo Moment (maybe you could have a place where we could post our
"Defining Limbo Moments" on your website!) was when they were looking for JFK Jr.,
his wife and sister-in-law..........we still didn't know if they were alive or dead, the whole
nation was hoping against hope that they would be found alive.......but not Limbo.

He gleefully Played his parody songs about Ted Kennedy's philandering,
and talked on and on about Chappaquidick and Mary Jo Kopechne.

Yes, Rush is a hateful, lying Nazi whore bastard.
That's why he's known as the vulgar Pigboy.

 Our favorite Nazi has Died  ...no, not Rush.

 Actor Werner Klemperer, 80
  Played TV Nazi

 Actor Werner Klemperer, who found fame as the pompous, monocled Col. Klink
 in the comedy series "Hogan's Heroes," died Wednesday of  cancer at his New York home.
 He was 80, said his publicist, Bernie Ilson.

 Although he appeared on stage, in movies and on other TV shows, it was Klemperer's
 role as the bumbling Nazi commander of a bunch of mischievous World War II prisoners
 for which he was best known. With star Bob Crane heading the cast, "Hogan's Heroes"
 aired from 1965 to 1971, and it brought Klemperer six Emmy nominations as Best
 Supporting Actor in a Comedy. He won the statuette in 1968 and 1969.

 Can you imagine what the pitch to the network sounded like?
 In 1964, it had been less than 20 years since Allied troops freed those concentration camps
 and going to the network with an idea for a slick new comedy about a camp that had never
 had a successful escape must've really been something.

Friday's mail

From: Latzmark@erols.com

Subject: Get me the hell off this planet....

The Florida Supremes, after getting their wrist's slapped by the US Supreme court,
come out with a split-decision for AlGore.  Go figure; seven Democrats on the court,
pretending to follow the LAW, four of which went down the political path, while three
act like they are thinking human beings. Good cop/Bad cop; they extend this nonsense
and cover their collective ass in doing so. I hope the U.S. Supreme Court weighs in
and slaps these Florida idiots down; AGAIN.

After watching, and listening to, all of the several courts, and Justices, including the
U. S. Supreme Court, all the courts, save one, have abided by the law. And which
court sides with AlGore?, the Florida Supremes! Surprise!!!

I've had a modicum of respect for Clinton over these last eight years, which he has thrown
away at every turn. I will have NO respect for a President Gore, after this theft of the Presidency,
should it come to pass. The difference is that, in my opinion, Bush wants to be President to try
and get things done; Gore HAS to have the Presidency to legitimize his existence.

Mark Latzko

Mark, your partisanship is showing more than a little.
You can say you don't like the Florida ruling, but did Gore promise them jobs if he won?
It's natural for each side to suspect the other, but in this case, Smirk is offering jobs to
Harris and Slappy's wife and Scalia's kids and Scalia himself, if they will help him.

Why was it illegal for Hardon Kenny to spend $12,000,000 chasing Mike Espy's $1000
worth of football tickets (that they called a bribe) but it's LEGAL for Scalia and Slappy
to accept jobs for themselves and their kids if they vote Smirk's way?

A football game is no bribe at all compared to a top-paying job - wouldn't you agree?

I'd sure like to hear you make your case against Clinton or Gore. Your last sentence,

The difference is that, in my opinion, Bush wants to be President to try
and get things done; Gore HAS to have the Presidency to legitimize his existence.

is such horseshit, I'd never say it even when I was making a joke.

The drunken, AWOL ignoramous who accused John McCain of selling out his fellow POWs
just wants to try to get things done?   Good God, man, did you read that sentence?

And the co-architect of the greatest peace and prosperity in our history is defective
because YOU CLAIM he needs to legitimize his existence?

Are you fucking crazy?
That's Limba talking - pure and simple.
You'd have to be getting paid $2,000,000 a month to say something that stupid.

Boy, I'd like to get you in the box in the  bartcop.com  chat room tonight.

...or are you "busy?"

 Stuff I heard on TV, radio etc

 From the acceptence speech tonight:

 Smirk: I was not elected so serve one party.
             I was elected to serve alll the poeple.

 Jon Stewart: Smirk, you weren't elected to anything
                       You were appointed by your daddy's friends.


 Big Blizzard on K-Drag, Oklahoma

 When it rains here, they have ten times more car wrecks than usual.
 When it snows, everyone drives like a drunken Smirk, and the city shuts down.

 So all night, the local channels are running the names of every school,
 every day care, every cat obedience school, every church, so I turned down
 the TV sound and put on some music and got distracted.

 Next time I looked up, the scrolling included "Christ UMC CDC!"
 I figured it was a Catholic school, but I'd never heard of it.

 A minute later, I saw the station manager apologizing, then I noticed I accidentally
 hit the read-along-for-the-deaf-people button, and what had happened was Anchorboy
 was actually a priest and he stubbed his toe real bad coming back from a break
 and they printet his outburst on the screen.

 ha ha

 I did not know there was a Yale Avenue Snake Handlers Church right in town.
 I thought those kinds of people lived in the mountains.


 Headline in the Fuji newspaper

 "Gilligan beats skipper in American election"

 ha ha

 I think that was Leno...


 Gore: May the best man win.

 Bush: No, I need this job


 Nobody mentioned this, so I guess I will

 On a recent West Wing, the gay republican was arguing with Josh.  Josh asked him
 how he could be a gay Nazi and he said he wanted to change them from within.

 The gay fella said, "Think of it. The NRA has 2.5 million members.
 If three million liberals joined the NRA, they could vote the radicals out."

 Now, there's something to that logic.
 I've been staring at it, and I can't find the fault.
  ...and I can find fault in anything.

 Couldn't we do that with the GOP?

 If the politically-aware liberals all registered GOP (in some states you have to)
 we could vote out the extreme pricks, (Inhofe, Delay, Barr, Burton, Armey, Traficant)


 Last one, ...this must be Leno because it's a formula joke.

 I don't know enough about comedy to say for sure, but "formula jokes"
 have to be near the bottom of the artistic scale, right?
 A "formula joke" is when you put all these names in a computer and when a name
 pops up, you match it with other names with similar characteristics.
 This is a perfect example, that's why I brought it up.

 First, let me do the joke so you know that yes, it's a decent joke,
 but it's a cheap, formula, fabricated joke that was kinda funny.

 "Did you hear Troy Acheman got his tenth concussion in Sunday's football game.
   Yes, that was his tenth concussion.
   You know in Texas, when you get twelve concussions, they make you governor."

 Now sure, that's kinda funny, in a Carrottop-held-up-a-toilet-seat kinda way,
 but there was no art there, nothing to be proud of. Ler me tell you how they do this.

 They get their computer and punch in every celebrity and news event and pop culture
 reference and when their files are full, they read where Troy Aikman got another concussion.

 Key words: Troy, stupid, Texas, extra stupid,

 You punch the computer and the name "Smr\irk" pops up under "Texas" and "stupid."
 So, a joke is born.
 You just build a joke between one stupid Texan and the other.

 That's it?
 Two stupid Texans - it's just not that funny.
 We laugh at the stupidity, as well as the writer's clever wit.

 Sometimes Dave strikes out, too, but Dave won't insult you.

 There's a whole bunch of stuff here:


 Linda Tripp is on the new cover of George Magazine.

 "My family paid a huge price, but I'd do it all over again."

 ...of course you would, Linda.
 How else could you make the cover of George Magazine if not as a martyr?

 And when did George Magazine become another cock-hunting tabloid rag?
 I only read a few paragraphs of the article, becuase it was making me sick,
 "Poor Linda, tried to help her country (Oh, just blow me) and when she did,
 the evil Democrats charged her with a rarely-enforced Maryland law."

 Hey! What about the rule of law?

 Rarely enforced?
 When was the last time the United States shut down for two years so the GOP
 could get a subpoena for Clinton's zipper so Hardon Kenny could drop to his knees,
 reach and and fish around for Clinton'c cock for two years?

 And George Magazine wants us to cry for Linda over "rarely enforced laws?"
 Was George Magazine a cock-hungry piece of crap when John was alive?

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the last issue written in a democracy.

 Go Home to  bartcop.com

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