True Business Headlines from Thursday's Tulsa World
- Homeland Grocery Closing 7 stores in Oklahoma
- Office Depot Closes 67 stores in 18 States
- Year-End Auto Sales turn Sour
- Construction Spending Takes Dive in
...I think we're getting that change-of-direction Smirk promised.
Smirk Pays His Debts
Katherine Harris Under
Consideration for Envoy Post
By Nora Boustany Washington Post Staff Writer
Katherine Harris, the controversial secretary
of state of Florida and a co-chair of BOGUS POTUS Smirk,
is being considered for the post of the president's special envoy for the Americas, according to sources
in the White House and in both Republican and Democratic circles.
...I don't think the Democrats will mind.
It wouldn't be polite to make a fuss...
Murdoch's on-line closing
News Corp. Closes Online Division
-- AP, Jan. 4, 2001
NEW YORK -- News Corp., the cock-hunting media
empire controlled by Rupert Murdoch,
is shutting down its online division and eliminating more than 200 jobs to conserve badly needed cash.
The company said in a statement released late
Thursday that it would transfer the production of three
major Web sites back to the networks they are associated with - Fox Broadcasting Company,
Fox Sports Television Group, and Fox News Channel.
Company spokesman Andrew Butcher told AP, "Without
Clinton's cock, we're out of business."
Butcher said the move would save the company "tens of millions" of dollars, but he declined to be more specific.
News Digital Media was formed in 1997 with the
ambitious goal of taking down an elected president
while spinning the stupidest man in Texas into the White House.
Retailers mourn worst X-mas sales
in a decade
Haven't we already done this story?
Read Salon.com's version
This isn't the first time Salon "borrowed" a story
Remember the Sista Soulja incident?
Koresh, they ever "borrowed" my title, but, ...we forgive.
Compassion has always been a cornerstone of Bartcop-ism.
Tamara Baker has a very
stolen from American-Politics.com
They Didn't Vote for You
-- We Did!
How the give the Democrats a spine.
King of Pork Announces Retirement
Bud Schuster (R-Need a Museum?) Retires with Loss of Chairmanship
Washington Post, January 4, 2001
The Democrats need a wake
By Bev Conover at onlinejournal.com
Subject: be realistic
upon your site for the first time today and read several of
your issues. I agree with you on many of your points, but if you are honest
with yourself you will have to admit that you are the left-wing equivalent of
Rush Limbaugh mixed with some alcohol and profanity. I concede that many of
your questionable tactics, such as constantly referring to people by a derisive
nickname, are for humor value, but nevertheless you still seem to display a
closed-mindedness about politics that equals that of the people you insult.
Arthur, my bombast isn't real.
I don't think I'm God.
I want to have a good time at their expense.
Yes, I use their tactics against them, and sometimes it's ugly.
Sometimes, when I catch them making stuff up, I counter by making stuff
to demonstrate what happens when you lose track of the facts.
Why does it seem that all who disagree with you are instantly idiots, crooks, or assholes?
You noticed it, too?
Actually, my complaint is with people who hold very strong opinions but can't answer
even the most simple questions. If people can't defend themselves, they should be silent.
My conservative mother reacts in the same way
to people who defend Clinton or
support the Democrats, and it is scaring me away from conservatism.
You're not alone.
A majority of voters were scared away from conservativism in the last three presidential elections.
My question is, which is more important in determining
the intelligence you display by your wit or the ideologoly you display in your attacks?
Hmmm, your closing question was a tough one...
My goal is to make a better joke about Republicans than they can make about Democrats.
One thing I don't do a lot of, is brag about my intelligence.
Next time you read some bartcop.com have a beer or
and ask yourself if I'm kidding or on the level.
It's more fun that way.
So I'm reading my local K-Drag newspaper, and I see where some
guy is going
to do time for carrying an automatic pistol that held more than 10 rounds in the clip.
That's not a fun thing to read after years of carrying the Glock,
so I checked it.
Luckily, the "the baby" can only hold 9 bullets, so I'm OK there.
(Those 40 cal bullets are hueueueueuge!)
The 9mm Glock (Number One with angry, white assassins) holds 14, but it stays at home.
You'd think the NRA would do something to let law-abiding gun
owners know that in the
ultra-liberal mecca they call Oklahoma, you're not free to carry your weapon of choice.
But no, they're too busy crawling into bed with Jerry Falwell and chasing Clinton's cock
to inform law-abiding gun owners of their rights.
I think this got posted, I'm never sure...
If just 10 percent of the people who voter for Gore (5 million)
joined the NRA,
we could vote out the religio-nuts and the cock-hunters and steer their influence
towards some common sense gun law reform that could save a bunch of lives.
The NRA's mission statement seems to be "We hate Clinton," and
it's surely been
a great fund-raising tool for them, but they never do anything to help.
They just raise money to purchase congressmen like Bob Barr to go after Clinton's cock.
Now I'm going to say something here that is NOT well-thought out,
so if it's not valid, remember why I printed this disclaimer:
What if bartcop.com grew to have millions of
What if we accumulated enough power and influence to actually convince 5,000,000
left-of-Limbaugh Americans to join the NRA and votes these bastrads like Chuck Heston out?
Heston is a whore - that's as clear as Rocky Mountain spring water.
Look at this picture:
This overly-dramatic, can't act, got-religion-for-the-money has-been
220-year old musket over his head and said, "Over my dead body, Mr Clinton."
Nobody's fighting you on THAT weapon and you know it.
If you were a fair man,
if you were a decent man,
if you were a honest man,
you'd be holding a goddamn Tec-9 multi-clip, street-sweeper over your head.
Yeah, the gun YOU fight to keep on the streets with your trash rhetoric.
A little honesty would confuse the easily-led.
You're holding a rifle that helped make our country free, and
to those ditto-monkeys
about what Clinton/Gore want to do to our right to bear arms, you hateful shit.
So I will take whatever contributions I get to, as Smirk likes
to say, "Grow the hammer higher,"
and increase the influence of common sense on the gun laws and to punch ditto-monkeyism out.
Maybe with the right combination of outrage and humor, bartcop.com could be a player.
That's Reagan - with the whip.
I just grabbed a 99 cent Chicken Sandwich from Burger King.
(Not bad for 99 cents.)
While waiting, I saw their menu billboard that had a small sentence
"Picture menu available."
I think that's a pretty good idea.
You know who could use a picture menu?
Democratic voters in Florida.
If they put a swastika next to pictures of Smirk and Buchanan,
maybe those retired Jews wouldn't have cast those thousands of ballots for Nazis.
George II Plots VooDoo II Scam In Secret
Click Here and truce offer
GOP Nutcase Legislator Advocates
Killing Police Officers
Washington Post, January 5, 2001
NASHUA, N.H., Jan. 4 - Many people here suspect Tom Alciere won a seat
state's legislature by dint of a stealth campaign that slipped under the radar of Republicans
intent on voting a straight party ticket in a presidential election year. So quiet was his voice
that it was not until earlier this week that Granite Staters realized they had elected a man
who advocates killing police officers.
Their newest lawmaker has this advice: "Don't kill anything that isn't a cop."
Mail from Wednesday Night
Subject: Sabutai Delivers?
Did you get a cold chill at about 10:30
I read your request of your friend
...and it would appear that he delivered as requested.
...or was the fumble, at a critical time
in the 4th Quarter,
just a lucky break for the Sooners?
And the cold chill? I got one......you can have mine....
Subject: Listen to Lincoln
If Lincoln could see his party now he would probably
In his first major speech as a congressman (January 12, 1848) he said of the
"...this same president gives us a long message,
without showing us, that, as
to the end, he himself, has even an imaginary conception. As I have before
said, he knows not where he is. He is bewildered, confounded, and miserably
perplexed man. God grant he may be able to show, there is not something about
his conscience, more painful than all his mental perplexity!"
Lincoln's speech exposed the fraud of Polk's assertions
righteousness of the war against Mexico. Lincoln believed that the US should
act with honor and truth so that the world would be inspired by its example.
What an idealist that Lincoln was. Too bad there are no Republicans like him today.
Worse, there are no Democrats like him today who are willing to stand on principle.
Maybe some will be born out of this terrible time in our country.
Margaret Shemo - The Holy Door
Monster TV Moment
Bill Maher on Larry King tonight
King: But Smirk has a masters from Harvard
Maher: He does?
King: Yes, Bush has a master's degree in business from Harvard.
Maher: Well, if that's true, his daddy had a lot to do with it.
King: Are you kidding? How could
his daddy being rich and powerful
and a former president get Smirk a degree from harvard?
Maher: Who's being naive now,
That's from Godfather One!
Michael: We're not much different than politicians, Kay.
Kay: Oh, Michael, you're so naive...
Politicians don't have people killed!
Michael: Who's being naive now, Kay?
Damn, I got shivers...
Today in History
- 1998 Sonny Bono, the singer/songwriter who gained fame as half
of Sonny and Cher,
and went to Washington as a representative of the extremely stuipid, white, rich Republicans
of Palm Springs, California, died from head injuries after hitting a tree while skiing. He was 62.
To read the only-published-here true facts about his death, Click Here
Subject: A tiny donation
I know you're busy so I will try to be terse.
1. Condolences on your friend, Sabutai.
2. I just finished getting my Paypal account.
You should be getting your $5 bonus soon.
If you just sign up, and say "email@example.com sent me,"
PayPal will send $5 to grow the hammer higher and it's free to you.
3. I saw Traficant on CNN last night. I
had thought that your description of him was your usual
humorous exaggeration unitl I saw the guy. He is off the looney scale! He was sucking up to
the Republican Party, but I am afraid they are too smart to want to have anything to do with him.
4. Thanks for all your efforts, even though I
still think you are being unfair to prostitutes everywhere
when you call that pompous and pusillanimous purveyor of poppycock a whore.
A. Nonimas Orse
AS, that was good - you should write more...
This Just In...
Subject: PayPal Refer-A-Friend Bonus
Thank you for referring PayPal to A. Nonimas
To show our appreciation, we have credited $5 to your PayPal account.
To keep earning referral bonuses, just forward this email to your friends:
It really works.
Click that PayPal button, below.
If you sign up and mention that firstname.lastname@example.org sent you
Smirk is guaranteed to have a more difficult future.
These days, that's more effective than voting!
Read the Previous
It was full of proof that the whore press refuses to print.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.