How Badly do They Want to Win?
Reporter: If a friend or relative became pregnant thru rape,
and came to you for comfort and advice,
what would you tell her?
Gov. Bush: I would say, "It's up to
you" to decide what to do.
Remember during the 92 campaign, Quayle was asked that question,
but back then, the question was about his pregnant daughter.
Quayle said, "I'd respect whatever decision she made."
Then Marilyn, the thinking half of the Quayle team corrected him
and promised: "No, she would have that baby."
Doesn't this mean Blow Monkey is as stupid as Quayle?
I think it does.
The Republican party wants to win soooooooooo badly,
they've given $70,000,000 to, (their words) a "baby-killer."
That's how badly they want to win.
One of My Heroes
Somebody played a trick on Sean Hannity, subbing for Pigboy.
They sent him a list of stupid things Dan Quayle has said, but they
labeled them "Stupid things Gore said," and Hannity is laughing
at each one because, "Only an idiot would say these things."
(Hear it above)
BartCop Prediction Comes True
Tommy Morrison is now the toughest white boy in Cell Block D.
Fun Comedy Quotes
"So, who rolls the tighter joint, you or Tipper?"
-- Dennis Miller to Al Gore on his old talk show
(He didn't answer.)
Larry Klayman - again
Severe Monkey Mail
You are so fucking stupid I'm surpised you can
afford a computer.
Pull your mouth off clinton's dick and scape the semen out of your ears.
The man ( and I use that term losely) is a cook and needs to leaf!
And his slut wife to.
I wish I'd written this.
Another "Kennedy" Gone Bad
Koresh, I hate the whore press.
Bridgeport, Connecticut police think some guy named Michael Skakel
killed a teenager in 1975, but that won't sell many newspapers, no.
It turns out, his mother's sister married a Kennedy, Robert F.
So, the USA Today whore headlines scream,
"Kennedy Nephew Surrenders"
Koresh, I hate the whore press.
MOUNT PLEASANT, Iowa, Jan. 20-Bill Bradley said
tonight that he
suffered four episodes of irregular heartbeat in the past month but said he
did not feel it was necessary to disclose them until reporters inquired.
"I didn't think we needed to disclose it," Bradley
said. "You don't want me
to go around disclosing every time I flip out for an hour, or two."
Bill, excuse me, but that's idiotic.
You confess to "flipping out for an hour or two?"
We're not looking for an ambassador to Antiqua, Bill.
We're choosing a president, here.
You can't be president if you "flip out" for an hour or two.
Who wrote that for you, Bill?
Who Wants to be a Thousandaire?
he can't give shit away.
Great Populist Quotes
"The entire nation is watching and listening
South Carolina's children are watching and listening to us.
We must move the flag from the dome to a place of historical
significance on the Statehouse grounds. The debate over the
Confederate flag has claimed too much of our time and energy.''
--S.C. Governor Jim Hodges, to the Racist Republicans
Open Letter To Governor Bush of Texas
Please, Governor Bush,
please confess your past misdeeds now,
preventing the democrats from killing your campaign this summer.
America might forgive you if you stop hedging and stone-walling.
Confess to the multiple DWIs, the coke arrest at Princeton in 1972
and the secret habanero you had with that waitress and prevent
the inevitable flashflood that is headed your way, Governor.
If you fail to heed the warnings you're being given now,
your future will end up just like that of poor Dan Quayle.
My economic future depends on you.
A year from today,
President Gore and Vice President Richardson will be sworn in,
and political comedy will begin a looooong eight-year drought,
and Mrs. BartCop will not get her Jaguar.
He'll Dole Out Insight On the
Bob Dole gets a private sector job.
Bob Dole is joining "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" as a
political commentator for their "InDecision 2000" segment.
"After all the campaigns I've been through," says Dole,
"it'll be nice to be on the other side for once."
George of the Jungle
Nice guy, or Devil's spawn?
Has anyone heard anything lately about Susie Molinari?
I saw some people in a chat room saying she was preparing
to star in a soft-core lesbian film called "Uprising at Box Canyon."
Can anybody confirm?
Tonight's West Wing is a repeat, but it's a good one.
Ollie North's trading partners murder the president's doctor.
The president gets very pissed, and wants something blown up,
not tomorrow - he wants shit blown up right now, goddammit!!
He calls in the Joint Chiefs and throws a big-ass fit!
Gore, raceboy, Butch, and McCain should all watch this show.
This is how a president should act.
If BartCop were president, and Ollie's buddies did this on my watch,
that country would lose every runway, refinery, every shipping port,
every bridge, every electrical station, every water-purification system etc.
I'd do to them what Clinton did to Milosombitch,
and I'd do it until I was a Smurf. (blue in the face)
(One of the many reasons I'll never be president.)
Also, I missed a good show on the History channel last night.
I meant to tape Hitler's Henchmen, but I missed it.
Does anyone know if Rush got a mention?
If he did, I need a copy of the tape, please.
Feedback on Pigboy and the President's "Member"
Subject: My interpretation
"This is a great example of ditto-monkey logic.
Listen to this file, then e-mail me with your interpretation
of what the hell Pigboy's ditto-monkey logic "proves."
I don't know what HE thinks his "logic" proves
To me it proves that he's trying to put some ripples into his stagnant ratings
by imitating Howard Stern's low-brow humor. Unless he also has some
gay leanings, what other reason would there be for him to spend so much
time and thought on Clinton's Gipper?
That's so perfect!
Is anyone besides him still talking about the PJ fiasco?
No, Al, he can't let go of Clinton's Gipper.
Rush is stuck on Clinton's Gipper!
Dr. Laura Not Welcome at New Paramount Home
Dr. Laura Ruins The Party At Paramount:
The Los Angeles Times ran a piece last week about how upset
everybody is at Paramount that Dr. Laura has been seen on the lot.
In an article penned by Brian Lowry, one Paramount
person was quoted as saying,
"She's not a happy addition to the family. We feel the way the Von Trapp children
would feel if Dad decided to divorce Maria and marry Joan Crawford.."
I wish I could write that good.
I also want to thank David McConnell at firstname.lastname@example.org
He's been editing bartcop.com for a loooong time.
Sometimes I spell like a ditto-monkey, and he's there to back me up
this fourth-grade level entertainment from dropping to a second-grave level.
It's not easy - what he does.
Let's all give a big hand to David McConnell.
...and while we're at it, Kevin Cunningham, email@example.com
our premier cartoonist, is about to hit the big time.
Watch for his name in the big, bright lights, soon.
Kevin, when you make the talk shows, you gotta promise to
say you got your start right here at bartcop.com
You young kids out there with talent - you, too can intern here at
If you have some special talent, and agree that Pigboy and Dr. Laura
need their comedownance, contact bartcop.com for open positions.
We really need tech geeks and research assistants.
So much news, so little time
Trouble in Dr. Laura Neverland
The "Queen of Mean" fires best friend.
Dr. Laura Wins "Marconi Award" for "Excellence in Broadcasting"
In Knuckledrag, we get Miss Piggy on a one-day
delay, so she must've
said this yesterday, but Dr. Laura is claiming she's won the most coveted
award in all of Earth's history, the "Marconi Award."
Can it get worse?
It always gets worse for those who deserve
Dr. Laura is whining that even after she's won this "most prestigious" award,
"none of the women's groups have come foreward to congradulate her."
When I hit the big-time, wait for me to complain
that the Catholic Church
hasn't been as supportive of me as I'd like - ha ha
How "prestigious" is the famous "Marconi Award?"
Remember, the Disco Pigboy won this same award
when he was a loser
Disco Jock in Pittsburg when he looked like this and sounded like this.
Listen to the Pigboy SQUEEL about winning the "Marconi Award."
If they gave the ultra-prestigous "Marconi Award" to Polyester
in the mid seventies, why would America's highest paid whore
brag about getting one in the year 2000?
You ditto-monkeys are being scammed,
and it's damn fun to watch.
Two sources have contacted bartcop.com with big news.
Everybody is watching Orrin Hatch.
This is complicated, and I got it in two, two minute phone calls.
It could break as early as today on CNN.
Watch for it, but here's what we know so far:
All along, Hatch has known Governor Bush will not get the nomination.
As chairman of the Judiciary Committee, Hatch has seen the secret FBI files
and knows most about the skeletons creeping up behind Blow Monkey.
Hatch and Forbes have made a secret pact.
Forbes has dug up two men who may be willing to say on the record
that they had a "gay dalliance" with Dubya back at Yale.
They don't want to be famous.
They don't want to be in the next Paula Jones-Linda Tripp circus.
People loyal to Forbes have offered these men $1,500,000 each
to come forward and tell their story to reporters. Forbes, in a bold move,
has asked Hatch to be his VP if Forbes wins the nomination. (ha ha)
Shrewdly, Hatch has agreed, but he's sand-bagging Forbes
Hatch is playing all sides, showing almost Clintonian skills.
That's why "Mr Zero percent" Hatch is staying in this lost-cause
Hatch knows Keyes has no chance with the whitesonly GOP voters.
The same goes for that Gary Bauer woman, but Hatch played another
card, quietly telling Bauer he might want him for his Vice-President.
This Orrin Hatch is one tricky Mormon!
Meanwhile, did you see Hatch's info-mercial saturday?
NO ATTACKS ON BUSH.
There's no need.
He knows Bush is out of this race.
Have you ever seen a one-percenter buy expensive televison time
in a primary and NOT attack the front runner?
Hatch keeps reminding voters, "I've been there, I've done the job."
Hatch sees this as a two-man race between him and McCain.
That's why he keeps saying, "I'm a skinny cat, not a fat cat,"
so he can cut into McCain's "clean up Washington" shtick.
So right now, all eyes are on Hatch.
If Hatch gets out of this race, it signals one of two things:
Either the two gay men have refused to come forward OR
Hatch thinks Bush can weather the deluge of dirty tricks and
the gotcha skeletons creeping up behind the Blow Monkey.
The Forbes people are trying to get the two men to come foreward
before voters cast ballots in Iowa and New Hampshire,
so action is expected any day now, maybe any hour.
Knowing this is on the horizon, the Bush people are expected to
publically hint they want Hatch as their VP to keep him from doing
too much damage to the "Iceberg - Dead ahead!" Bush campaign..
Everything depends on how deep Forbes digs into his pockets and
how badly the two gay men want to trade their privacy for cash.
Keep your eyes on Hatch.
Hatch knows everybody's hole card.
If Hatch gets out of the race and endorses Bush, all the other
candidates except McCain and Keyes will drop out, too.
(More news may come in after noon today - stay tuned.)
Dr. Laura's Birthday
(Photo not enhanced in any way.)
Dr. Laura had another birthday.
They seem to be coming faster and faster, don't they Laura?
You didn't look so good on Fox News, Laura.
How old are we now?
I'll bet Bill Ballance has a painting of her,
where she gets younger every year.
Kentucky Fried Rats is at it again.
they're owned by the same company (Pepsi) that hates Hillary.
Until they apologize...
Know Pizza Hut - No Peace
and Drop the Chalupa!
Enlarge Your Penis
Subject: Enlarge Your Penis,
A REAL Penile workout at http://www.PenileFitness.com !
PENIS ENLARGEMENT DISCOVERED!!
Learn how to ENLARGE YOUR PENIS like a Democrat's!!
ALL NATURAL Penis Enlargement exercises PROVEN TO WORK!!
No, pumps, no weights, no surgery, NO BULLSH*T!!
All you need is the courage to believe the truth!
Click HERE to enlarge your penis!
100% ALL NATURAL PENIS ENLARGEMENT
And if all else fails, this page should do the trick
Subject: your an idiot!
A special thanks to firstname.lastname@example.org
He sends in so many news clips and good ideas,
he must be recognized as a premier contributor.
(That way, he gets the blame.
I learned that from Clinton :)
New Service at bartcop.com
I made a deal with one of those fancy-pants internet
companies to stream real-time audio and video.
I know you hate to wait for a sound file to load.
I told them I wanted to try the audio first, (it's cheaper)
but if it works, we'll get into streaming video.
I received my passwords et al today and I asked myself
"BartCop, what's the most symbolic sound file you could put
up that would illustrate what you've been saying about the maddog
Republicans spending all their time and energy unzipping the
president's pants, and reaching in and fishing around with their
hands, clawing at Clinton's cock?"
I think this file will do the trick.
Search for the Truth, Folks
Well, that file worked, shall we double down?
Somebody PLEASE explain to me what the hell Pigboy's saying.
He's still on Clinton's cock, (that sounds funny) and he says either
Paula Jones is telling the truth or Hillary's never seen Clinton's cock.
This is a great example of ditto-monkey logic.
Listen to this file, then e-mail me with your interpretation
of what the hell Pigboy's ditto-monkey logic "proves."
Whatever it is, the sheep bought it by the truckload.
Just a quick stating-of-the-obvious, because sometimes it's easy
to overlook the big picture with all the small details running around.
I heard a shill on Fox
News, (We Whore - You Call Us On It)
talking about the candidates making a last-minute "big buy" at
several Manchester, NH television stations and it reminded me...
If Bush and Gore had this race sewn up months ago,
the television stations wouldn't be able to sell TV ads to them,
the reporters wouldn't have anything to write about, and if
it got real bad, backdoor Bettina Gregory might dry up.
The whores of the press can't make any money
if the races are runaways, so what do they do?
They make shit up.
They invent a crisis.
They dramatize the trivial.
They stress the unimportant.
They can't be trusted.
They are whores.
They are the worst kind of whores.
They'll slip a drug in your drink,
grab your wallet and steal a goddamn kidney from you.
The America press has turned to such shit, they could put
boxing's Don King in charge and gain a measure of respect.
Don't forget to check the Boot Newt page.
They have over 180 parody songs now.
Click on the cartoon to check it out.
Uh-Oh, Kevin Cunnigham has been at it again...
Trent Lott, (R-Whitesonly) is the top GOP Cro-Mag in the Senate.
For his hatred of blacks, he deserves everything we can do to him.
Subject: Quares in the military
Alright you commy,
I know y'all liberals won't be satisfied till every one of our soldiers,and
and marines, are gay.And till that traitor Bill Clinton is crowned king.So let's cue to the chase,
and git it all over in one fail swoop.Then the the word can come, and you'll all be satisfied.
Lord knows when he let the first one of them quare boys in, it was the begining of the emd
Bad Language Alert
...not kidding this time,
I feel a little betrayed...
While watching Chris the Catholic mangle tonight's demo debate,
I remembered the first thing I ever wrote about Bill Bradley.
"I don't know much about Bradley besides the
fact he was a
senator from the state of New Jersey and he's not a racist."
...and then he pulls this "Willie Horton" bullshit.
I feel so used...
Wait, Wait, Wait
Something I wrote made sense.
It's not often when I get one right.
Wake the kids!
From Vol 154
1. Who was the American League shortstop in
the 1967 World Series?
2. Who holds the National League record for most triples in a season?
3. Name every team Bill Buckner has played on.
4. Name 30 former Cubs that have cursed World Series' teams?
Now, I'll bet there's nobody who regularly reads
who can answer each of those questions without looking them up.
But you know what?
I'll bet Tim McCarver knows all those answers.
I'll bet motormouth Bob Costas knows all those answers.
I'll bet Degree-from-Cliche-U. Joe Morgan knows all those answers.
I'll bet Pete Rose knows all those answers.
You know why?
Because that's their fucking business, that's why.
When you and I are putting in our forty hours
each week, we're doing our jobs.
When Tim McCarver, Bob Costas, Joe Morgan and Pete Rose do their jobs,
they're reading about baseball, and baseball history and baseball players.
It's not my job or your job to know those answers.
But it IS the job of those four men to know those answers.
That's what they do for a living.
So, what the hell does Governor Blow Monkey do
with his forty hours?
His job is running for the presidency of the United States.
He ought to know a little bit about the goddamn
job he's running for, right?
If he doesn't know the players in Chechnya, Taiwan, Pakistan and India,
he's not ready to run the White House cafeteria, much less Planet Earth.
Governor Blow Monkey has at least forty hours
each week to learn.
If McCarver, Costas, Morgan and Rose know baseball inside and out,,
why can't the Goldenboy learn the names of the players in today's hot spots?
The GOP is trying to spin this like,
"Nobody can be expected to know
all the names of all the top people in countries like North Pago Pago."
but nobody ever suggested the bar be set that high.
The question was about HOT SPOTS with NUCLEAR DANGERS.
Back to the present:
From Voltai29@geocities.com (the best news service on the net)
Candidates and Their Hidden Talents
The Associated Press, January 17, 2000
The NY Times asked all the candidates.
Bill Bradley: Declined to answer
Al Gore: Painting
Gary Bauer: Making pancakes
George W. Bush: Knowing baseball trivia
What did he say?
He says he knows something about baseball
because that's his business??
he knows baseball trivia,
but he can't realistically be expected
to remember alllllllll those warring countries
with nuclear weapons?????????
This guy is cotton candy, folks.
I know it,
you know it,
Bob Dole knows it,
the "Merican people know it,
and those guilty frauds in the Republican party KNOW that
this guy is nothing but fluffed sugar, but they want to win.
They want to win reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal bad.
Rush Continues to Lead the GOP
George Will, premier Clinton-hater on ABC, said,
"The fastest way to solve the crisis with the Cuban kid would
be for the liberal democrats to claim that the kid's father
smokes cigarettes, so we can't possibly send him back."
George Will is the biggest ditto-monkey on television.
Will heard Pigboy say something assinine and repeated it.
ditto-monkey Will do!
...and people think he's so smaaaaaaart...
How'd You Like a 15% Tax Cut?
I have an idea on how to cut taxes by 15 percent.
I think I can guarantee that every Democrat will go for it,
but I'm not sure the Republicans will like it.
First thing, we build a time machine and go back to 1980.
We have congress pass a bill (they will) that says,
"From the years 1981 through 1993, it shall be illegal for
the president to sign a bill that causes more money to be spent
than what is in America's checking account at the time."
If you don't count the money Reagan/Butch spent,
no, wait, it's worse than that,
If you don't count the money they spent IN EXCESS OF
the record-amount of taxes their super-duper tax cut produced,
no, wait, it's worse than that,
If you don't count the INTEREST on the money they spent
IN EXCESS OF the record-amount of taxes their super-duper
tax cut produced, if all those conditions could be met,
you got your taxes cut immediately by 15 percent.
...and that would make Rush Limba really happy.
C'mon, let's start work on that time machine right now!
I recently said Clinton's approval numbers were higher than
President Reagan's number after seven years. I got a reply.
From: David Willard email@example.com
> Yes, the media's constant stereotyping and mocking
> of Reagan did take its toll.
> With the Reagan recovery in full flower, what
> most people think of Clinton? Most people think as far as their
> pocketbook and most people are too busy working two jobs to
> read the real truth about this most corrupt of presidents.
If you take away the element of sex, of what is Clinton guilty?
> They're working two jobs because Clinton has
raised the total
> tax take of the federal government to its highest
> percentage of GDP EVER in peacetime.
Wait, you said this was "Reagan's recovery."
Reagan is making people work 2 jobs?
> Reagan chopped the evil empire off at its knees.
> Carter appeased, Clinton appeases.
If that's true, Reagan did it by outspending Russia,
with money America didn't have. He put everything
on our Visa bill, and the bill is now due.
> A Republican will be needed to clean the mess
> eventually... as it has been since 1860.
I thought you said this was "Reagan's flower."
You seem to have trouble deciding if we're in
the good times or the bad times.
> The military morale is at an all-time low,
How was that measurment taken?
Did you ask around?
If there's been a scientific study, could you cite it for me?
> the country is being balkanized by political offspring of Clinton
I don't know what that means.
> and there is no budget surplus.
You might be right there, but again,
don't we have Reagan's flower to blame?
> Clinton is a liar.
He may've lied about having sex, but he didn't sell weapons to a
terrorist nation and then pardon his friends to bury the truth.,,,
> The only people sorry to see the Sandanistas
go were George Mitchell
> and other "Democrat" Marxist backers in the Congress.
> Ask the Nicarauguans whether they'd pick Daniel Ortega or actually
> getting a say in their own political affairs. Do you still have an affection
> for Iraq? That was Iran's enemy then.
Wait, you're saying lying about arming terrorists wasn't a really bad
But Bill Clinton's orgasm WAS a really bad thing?
> ...but you're entitled to your opinion.....
Thanks, I hope you don't consider my replies as an attack.
I'm just hoping you can answer my questions.
Thanks, looking forward to Round Two.
Great Moronic Quotes
"The Internal Revenue Service steals money
from innocent people
through intimidation, harassment and threats of jail time.
It's almost a sin for welfare people to collect a check,
because, in reality, it's receiving stolen property."
-- Walter Williams on Pigboy's hate show 1/17
I assume you're for a strong military?
How is America's military funded?
Through "intimidation, harassment and threats of jail time?"
And all that military hardware is "stolen property?"
So we should dismantle our Defense Department
because Walter Williams is playing Pigboy's whore?
Holy Koresh, how stupid can an ignorant moron be?
"Better than Jimmy Johnson..."
-- David Letterman, when a nurse asked, "How do you feel?"
Get well soon, Dave.
A Message from Governor You-Know-Who
Question for Governor Bush
Governor, in 1996, craggy, old Bob Dole said it was, "a disgrace"
that President Clinton ordered concrete pylons installed around the
White House to make it harder for terrorists to drive a truck into it.
Dole was outraged, accusing Clinton of, "wanting to be King,"
and "cutting off the people's access to the White House."
So, my question for you, Governor Bush, if you win the White House
will you prove to us that you have no desire to be America's King,
and immediately have those ugly concrete pylons removed,
thereby giving the American people their house back?
Or will you follow the recommendations of the Secret Service
exactly the way Bill Clinton did?
A Missed Opportunity
The flap over the South Carolina Dixie flag could have been
ridden like a Sista Soulja right into the White House by a Republican.
McCain, the maverick, would've been the logical choice, but no.
If McCain had stood up and said, "South Carolina - Tear Down That Flag,"
Americans would suddenly see McCain as a non-racist Republican,
and Gore would lose about 30 percent of the undecided, middle-road,
normal twenty percent who swing the national election.
Instead of standing tall against racism,
instead of doing the right thing for his country,
instead of winning the GOP nomination and the White House,
...McCain chose to straddle the issue.
Who's the hunk with the funny hat?
Who's the hunk who needs a hat?
What is this?
Whatever it is, it sure looks Catholic.
Why is it in black and white?
Who's that kid in the middle?
How is it possible to see thru the kid?
...and what's hiding in that bright light behind him?
Readers of bartcop.com knew that months ago.
Way back in Volume 152
we covered that whole story.
His ex-wife, Mary Bono, the one who took his seat in the House
and her secret shack-up stud-muffin had him killed.
She's a power freak.
Any woman who'd go to bed with Newt must really want power.
I don't normally get riled up (ooohhhh,
that Texas lingo),
but could you perhaps let a little warning space
before you post the Dr. Laura pics?
It's kinda difficult to read your articles with
the kids trying to read,
and then up pops a pic of Dr. Laura.
1. I agree.
When Dr. Laura sees a camera, the eyes of the children must be
shielded because you know she's going to jack-up her skirt and
run toward the camera and straddle the lens and say, "CHEESE!"
I agree with you - she's a disgrace to decency.
2.You let your kids read bartcop.com?
I figure I'm cleaner than an HBO comic, but I think a kid
should at least be in high school to read bartcop.com.
Interesting thoughts, though. I
kinda figured you to at least
not bash Bradley. He makes Gore look positively Republican!
For me, the object is not to see how far left I can go, it's about
the sane center. I don't mind a republican, it's the white-power
extremists that run your party I'm afraid of.
And Bill Bradley can go "F" himself for attacking the democrats
and raising the Willie Horton race-baiting issue.
You might think Bradley is a leftist,
but using Willie Horton was a very right-wing campaign tactic.
A photo of Martin Luther King being arrested by Montgomery, Alabama
police in 1958.
He would've been 71 today.
And if he hadn't been murdered,
Rush would be making fun of him - every day.
- making fun of the way he talked
- playing snippets of his speeches to try to make him look bad,
- mocking everything he stood for,
- saying there was no difference between MLK and Puff Daddy,
because, like Rush reminded us after the DC New Year's party,
"they" are all alike, and they're messing up America for whites.
If Martin Luther King had known Rush Limbaugh,
I'll bet he would still promote non-violence.
Martin Luther King was a much better man than I.
Besides the amazingly stupid Willie Horton attack,
went after Al Gore for being pro-tobacco 15 years ago.
That reminded me of a rant from 1997,
from Volume 105, Bored with Cowards
Rush and the Republicans CONSTANTLY harp on the
Al Gore's family had a tobacco farm in Tennessee.
That makes Gore a hypocrite, right?
He gave that tearful speech at the convention, yet,
his family once owned a tobacco farm.
Gore eventually said "No" to big tobacco.
This is 1997.
THINK what we've learned about tobacco in the last five years:
Because of people like Clinton, Synar, Kesler and Gore,
-WE NOW KNOW that the tobacco companies were
ARTIFICIALLY raising the levels of nicotine in cigarettes.
-WE NOW KNOW that they were INTENTIONALLY targeting
children to keep the money-niagra flowing in to their bank accounts.
-WE NOW KNOW they fucking KNEW their cigarettes
cause of so many hundreds of thousands of deaths each year.
With information like that, it's EASY to say no
to big tobacco,
EASY to say no, ...unless of course,
you're a whore from a party of whores.
Gore lost his sister, then he learned the truth
company greed and reversed his position.
Is Bradley's hysteria the last act of a desperate man?
I don't care if it's the last act of Taming of the Shrew.
Bill Bradley has lost this contest.
So far, best joke of the year...
Mrs. BartCop found an opened container of margarita mix in the
BartCop Manor Sub Zero, and asked me if it was still good.
At the very least, we're going back to July '99,
so I said, "Let's not chance it."
Watching the too-boring Iowa debate, and I see Mara Liason of Fox News
wetting herself over how "fantastic" the Blow Monkey did in the debate.
I saw a bumbling fool, grabbing at straws, rattling off cliches and
to figure out the easiest way to get past the most simple questions. .
I hope she doesn't turn into backdoor Mara Liason.
I'd like to remind you that there's no such thing as global warming.
NASA and NOAA and the liberals are lying about that, but I can't
spend a lot of time on this subject, because I'm grilling some burgers
on the backyard grill in a tee shirt and shorts, this January 15th.
Great GOP Quotes
"At Colombine High, those two killers gave
each other the Nazi salute
everyday and their parents were never contacted or notified. When I'm
president, I promise you that there will be no more Nazi salutes in schools."
--that Gary Bauer woman, Iowa debate 1/15
I have a question:
Short of breaking the arms of every kid in every school in America,
how can that Gary Bauer woman possibly guarantee that promise?
It's rare that REQUIRED READING comes along.
Thanks to Zepp for sending this in, and doing everyone this favor.
And, as someone who gets a lot of mail, please make note of #7.
Floyd Brown and David Bossie
Geez, you talk about a couple of goons.
Read this short page about Floyd Brown and David Bossie,
who were working with GOP nutsacks in 1994 about impeachment.
1994, as in four years before anyone heard the name, "Monica."
It proves, again and again, they they were determined to impeach
Bill Clinton as soon as they could manufacture a "crime."
...and they eventually did.
Willie Horton Update (s)
Subject: Bradley and William Horton
I just read your posting about Bill Bradley and
I wanted to point out a couple of things:
The photo that was used in the ad was taken at
a time when Horton
had been in solitary confinement for a few weeks and hadn't been
allowed to bathe or shave. The photo was intentionally used to
make him look as subhuman as possible.
And they wonder why people think they don't care for minorities.
Also, William Horton was never known as Willie
until the GOP
demagogued Dukakis with his black-sounding name "Willie."
He was, according to Horton, always known as "William".
That's a good point.
"Willie" sounds much more scary than, "William."
It's just like a party of racist thugs to try to increase the divide
between whites and blacks to scare their boy into the White House.
George Herbert Traitor Butch should be ashamed of himself,
for being an opportunistic, racist pig from a party of racist pigs,
but he's not.
Subject: Willie Horton..
The clown who pushed the Horton ads for Bush,
Sr is Floyd Brown.
He's the head of some right-wing nut case group that does guerilla ads
He's also a major asshole, so look for him this
year on Fox
Editor's Note: Bob is a former radio commentator and a former
He left radio to spend more time with his kids, and left journalism because
he couldn't stand to be in the same profession as backdoor Bettina Gregory.
Bob, this shot's for you.
Leno has been beating Letterman in the ratings for years.
The night Hillary was on, Dave got a 8.9 and Leno got 4.6.
But the news isn't all good.
Letterman stunned his Thursday audience by revealing
that he's going into the hospital today for heart tests.
If things go bad, no doubt he'll be listed as another victim
in the Hillary Clinton Body Count by lying sons-of-bitches
like that horse-molester Paul Harvey.
Get well soon, Dave.
We don't need another dead comedian.