Vol 162 - They All Look the Same to Rush

Willie Horton

There's something about Willie Horton that's true,
but I've never heard it said before, so I'll say it now.

Today, Rush said Bill Bradley was playing the Willie Horton card.
His reputation of being a lying, Nazi pig, (Rush, not Bradley)
means you can't trust what he says, but I saw proof later.

(See below)

Here's the charge, that up-till-now only the Republicans have made.
"Al Gore brought up Willie Horton FIRST."

They say Gore brought up Willie Horton in '88 to use against Dukakis.
(Gore denies ever having used Horton's name.)

Freed-early prisoners-who-kill is a legitimate campaign issue.
If nothing else, it happened on his watch, and we're going to spend
most of this election year pummelling  a certain Blow Monkey for
shit that happened on his watch...

No, Willie Horton's crimes were never the campaign issue.
What happened was some GOP contributor, (send me his name,)
paid for dozens and dozens of these Willie Horton TV ads that showed
a close-up of Willie Horton's eyes, staring at your white wife and daughter,
while the turn-style door released a constant flow of Willie Hortons, one
after another. The tone of the ad implied your wife and daughter would
be having Willie's black baby if you voted for a democrat.

It was never a legitimate political issue, it was the guarantee that Willie
was on his way to your house that became the Willie Horton slur.

Al Gore did NOT invent that race-baiting trick.
The GOP did.

I remember Butch, (the traitor, not the Blow Monkey) said he had
"no way to stop the ads from running." The racist tone of the ads was
scaring white votes over to Butch's side, so he laid back and enjoyed it.

 From allpolitics.com

 Horton became a symbol of racially divisive campaigning during the
 1988 campaign between Dukakis and then-VP George Butch.
 Horton is black and his victim was white.

 The Bush campaign seized on the issue,
 portraying Dukakis as soft on crime.

 Nonetheless, "Gore introduced him into the lexicon," Bradley said
 in comments reported Thursday by the Boston Herald.
 "It bothers me a great deal.
 ...I wouldn't have used Willie Horton."

 Hey, Bill Bradley, I got a thunderbolt bolt for you!

 You just did.

 You just used Willie Horton to try to score points.
 You just re-introduced Willie Horton back into the lexicon.
 You just used a 12-year old racial slur to say that it shouldn't
 have been used twelve years ago.

 Are you that stupid?


 I think that's the dumbest campaign move I've ever seen.
 Has Dan Quayle ever done anything this stupid?
 Could a Bradley backer e-mail me and tell me what he's doing?

 Here we are, twelve years after that dirty, racially-divisive ambush,
 Bill Bradley brings back Willie Horton to kick around alllllllll over again,
 and it allows cheap-shot pigs like Limba to wallow in it.

 Stupid move, Bill.

 Butch the Butcher

 Monkey Mail


 A Flood of Monkey Mail,
 Is there a full moon tonight?

 From:  oneilltj@juno.com

 Subject: Idiot

 What can I say except that you are an IDIOT of the highest order.
 I would have liked to have used one of your scum words but then
 that would have brought me down to your level.
 It's good to know that most of us don't have your mentality.
 God help us if we did.

 Thomas J ONeill

 (Different letter, same greating)

 Subject:  you are an idiot

 From:  NMania8775@aol.com

 lame ass, dumb ass, uneducated freaking dumb ass.
 get a life and commit sucide you freak.

 You need to listen to Rush or Ron Smith at www.wbal.com.


 The Dr. Laura/UPN Family Values Network is very proud to invite you to
 an "extremely intense" WWF Smackdown tonight on family values UPN.

Be there!

 If you want to see tacky titties,
 if you want to see crotch-grabbing,
 if you want to see gay-bashing,
 if you want to see faux violence,
 this Dr. Laura/UPN special is for you.

 This Program is Rated: Family Friendly
  (If your family's name is Addams or Manson)

 Wednesday was a big night for TV.
 If you missed West Wing, you missed a good one.
 There were some very emotional scenes:

 1. The First Lady telling the Chief of Staff the nature
    of the president's secret and dangerous illness.
 2. The president talking to his Secretary of Agriculture.

 Damn, that's a good show.

 But, WOW!
 Did you see the Star Trek - Voyager?
 Swear to Koresh, it was about Captain Janeway's
 masturbation fantasies, and as regular readers know,
 when I swear to Koresh, it means I'm not kidding.

 A crewman invented a small Irish town in the ship's holodeck.
 (If you don't know what that is, you'll be very confused.)
 The captain went to a bar there, saw a bartender she liked,
 modified his program to make him sexier, then gave the
 computer the command to "delete the wife" the character had,
 then spent three days getting drilled by this bartender.


 On Star Trek - the Next Generation, they hinted that the
 guys were having sex with holodeck characters, but on
 Voyager they came right out and showed a captain who
 hadn't had her horn honked since Rigel Seven.

 And you know Captain Janeway - when she sets out
 to solve a problem, she solves the hell out of it.

 The Hologram doctor explained to the captain that since
 everyone on the ship answered to her, that it would be
 unethical for her to have sex with any subordinate
 (sounds like a shot at Clinton) so he said everyone would
 understand if she dialed up a sex partner in the holodeck.

 To make things even worse, part of the overall program
 sustained damage so they went to Janeway and asked
 permission to take her six-foot vibrator off-line so
 they could do some repairs.


 Right on the TV!

 They hinted he'd be a recurring character.
 I think most cities rerun Voyager on the weekends.
 If you ever liked any of the Star Trek franchises,
 I think you'll get a kick out of this episode.

 ...and wouldn't you know it,
 this show about masturbation
 was on Dr. Laura's UPN.

 How guilty is Governor Blow Monkey?


 Oh, Christ

 Dr. Laura just said she bought herself a gun.
 Two, in fact.  "a revolver and an automatic.
 They showed me how to put bullets in it and everything."

 Looks like her metamorphasis into the GOP is about complete.
 Before Monica, she was against guns in the house.
 Then she realized she could milk millions more from
 the morons if she was a puppet-whore for the NRA.

 Let's count the days until Dhareckye shoots himself.

 "Got herself a gun - got herself a gun."

 Only three more days until The Sopranos return.

 Great Retired Quotes

 "You've got the First Lady on tonight.
   Don't be a jack-ass."
   -- Walter Cronkite, to Dave

 (Did you know Walter Cronkite says he has smoked pot, but didn't inhale?)


 From:  gameguy@erols.com

 Subject: Idea for Al Gore

 I agreed with your photo of what could happen to Gore.
 He needs to borrow Clinton's laryngitis and Reagan's hearing
 problem and Bush's goofy smile and go with those alone.

 Face it, he can't think on his feet like Clinton.
 But (sigh) there will never be another Bill Clinton.

 Next debate, Gore should tell Bradley that he is willing
 to offer him the VP job right there on live TV.

 Bradley, if he was fast on his feet, might respond with:
 (a) No, I want the top job, or (b) Maybe you should be my VP.

 Gore should reply:  "You know, I wanted to be president in '92,
 but I saw the best way to help my country was to help the most
 qualified man win that time -- while I spent the next 8 years
 making myself into the most qualified man,"


 "No, Bill, I don't need to be Vice President again. I've already
 served eight years as vice president, working closely with one
 of the most energetic, imaginative presidents of all time.
 It's YOU who needs vice presidential experience, not me."

 Don't you think a magic moment like that would pretty much seal
 the election for Gore?

 Ray Coleman

 ha ha


Dr. Laura - Soothsayer

A recent widower was about to turn 49, so he got a
face lift so he could get back into the singles dating scene.
He asked his doctor how many years younger he looked.
The doctor said people would perceive him to be different
ages depending on how old they were. So after a few weeks,
he was playing tennis with a 50-year old friend, and he asked
him how old he appeared.

"Since your face lift, I'd say you look about 40."

So far, so good, he thought. But he wanted to ask someone
younger and someone older to get their perspective.
He went to McDonald's and ordered a cheeseburger,
and asked the kid behind the counter how old he looked.

"Sir, you look about 30 to me," said the kid.
"Thanks, son. I turned 49 today," he said.

That put him in a good mood. All he had to do now was
find a really old person to ask and he'd know for sure.

He walked next door to the cigar shop, and ran into Dr. Laura.
Since she's really old, he figured he'd ask her, after all,
Dr. Laura is known for giving out frank and honest opinions.

"Dr. Laura, how old do you think I am?" he asked her.

"I must tell you," she said to him, "I'm an expert at picking
someone's age. I'll bet you $5 I can guess your age exactly,
but you have to let me give you Monica first."

The man knew this was a little strange, but he thought it
would be fun to tell his friends he got oral sex from Dr. Laura
and he did want to know how he looked to a really old person,
so he agreed and paid her the agreed-to five dollars.

Dr. Laura then gave him oral sex right there in the cigar store.
Much to his delight, she even xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  (this sentence
censored by the BartCop Standards and Practices Board.)

After Dr. Laura finished giving the stranger the most enthusiastic
oral sex he'd ever gotten, the man asked her, "So, how old am I?"

Dr. Laura said, "You turned 49 today."

"Wow," he exclaimed. "How in the hell did you know that?"

Dr. Laura smiled and said, "I was standing behind you at McDonald's."

 Great Sow Quotes

 "I'm starting to develope a strong attraction for Bill O'Reilly.
  I watch him every night on the Fox News channel.
  He soooo honest, and he's got giblets.
  I like a man with giblets."

   -- Dr. Laura on her lil' hate show, Jan 13

 Yeah, no wonder.
 Gibletboy spends an hour every night clawing at Clinton's cock.

 Hillary hit a big home run tonight.
 (Posted 7:38 CST)

 Thanks to JennyQ1@aol.com  I got the transcript a few hours early.
 Jenny, you're the best!

 Hillary's best shot?

 Dave: Is Rudy cut out to be a Senator?


 HRC: In the Senate, you don't get to arrest homeless people.

 Crowd: Oooooooooooooo...........

 ha ha

 Dave: Does your husband think I'm a boob?

 HRC: He wonders why you never do any jokes about him.

 ha ha

 Hillary on Letterman Tonight
 @The Associated Press

 She's been resisting invitations for months.
 Not too surprising, perhaps, considering that Letterman -
 the quintessential New Yorker from Indiana who lives in
 Connecticut - has made a running gag of calling her a
 carpetbagger from Arkansas.


I want to ask a question, and see who can guess the answer.
The one thing the "whores" have in common is their outrage.

Rush is outraged at every move Clinton has ever made.
Dr. Laura is outraged that two people might kiss without
a lifetime committment cemented in a valid marriage contract.
(She also hates every move Clinton has ever made.)

George Will, Sam and Cokie are all outraged, and if
there's nothing to outrage them this week, they'll make shit up.
John McLaughlin, and the Catholic Twins, Tim and Chris,
are always outraged about something, and if you can't hear
what you're reading it's because Chris the Catholic is
screaming so goddamn loud you can't hear your own thoughts.

O'Reilly and Hannity are outraged at everything Clinton does.
Organized religion is outraged that some teenage girl might
wear a short skirt, or that a movie might contain some nudity.

The list goes on and on forever, but I'm writing this on-the-fly,
so try to get my drift and save us both some time.

Do you know what all those people have
in common besides their outrage?
The clue is in quotes.
Can you guess what it is?


They can't make money without heaps and gobs of outrage.

Without their fake, phoney, manufactured and feigned outrage,
do you know what we'd have in this country?
We'd have peace.
We'd have harmony.
We'd have teamwork.
We'd have the greatest, most wealthy country in the world,
and we'd have the peace and prosperity to enjoy it.




if we had peace, harmony and teamwork,

Rush couldn't make his $20,000,000 every year.
Dr. Laura couldn't make her $20,000,000 every year.
George, Sam and Cokie couldn't make any money.
John McLaughlin couldn't make any money.
Tim Russert couldn't make any money.
Chris Matthews couldn't make any money.
Fox News couldn't make a fucking nickle, and let's not
forget that aging horse molester, Paul Harvey, who has
accused this president of murder to get more money.

...and for damn sure, for damn sure,
without heaps of outrage and the terrible, invisible Devil,
Organized religion couldn't make any money.

You see that, right?

It's not about left and right.
It's not about good and evil.
It's not about right and wrong.
It's not about liberal and conservative.
It's not about saving America or helping our kids.
It's about cold, hard fucking cash.

You see that, right?
You own a pair of eyes, don't you?

Is there anyone brave enough to say I'm wrong?

If you think Rush or Dr. Whora or those media whores are
screaming wild charges at Clinton to make America a better
place to live, please send me some e-mail right now.

If Rush or Dr. Laura said, "Clinton is a good man who has
done an impossible job better than any president before him,"
would you listen to either of them?

The truth is soooo boring.

You can't build an empire on the truth.
Nobody wants to hear it.

 Confirmed  (Update)

 David Letterman has the First Lady booked tonight.

 Dave's Date With Hillary

 Following what Late Show producer Rob Burnett calls "a successful
 case of badgering,"first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton will make her
 first appearance on the show Wednesday night.  Letterman
 complained on Monday that his bid to get the unofficially declared
 New York Senate candidate to appear "has been a minute-to-minute,
 week-to-week, day-to-day, very tiring, tedious negotiation."

 Her change of heart may be due to the fact that her Republican
 opponent,  New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani,


 has appeared more than a dozen times on the show.
 "I don't  know that he'll go easy on her," said Burnett,
 "but at the same time Dave is a graceful and respectful host
 when he's speaking to the first lady of the United States."

 It will easily be the highest rated Letterman show in years.
 But then again, Dave's been milking this gag for months,
 so maybe he and Hillary cooked this up for ratings.

 Without a doubt, Letterman's producers have guaranteed
 Hillary that certain topics will not come up, but Dave doesn't
 always stick to the script, and this is really a once-in-a-lifetime
 chance for Dave to get his show back on the map.

 Don't miss it.
 If Dave makes her cry, she'll be the next Senator
 and Dave will be looking for a new line of work.


 My old sparring partner, G. Gordon Liddy returns to TV.

 He co-stars with Lucky Vanous (he was the hunk who
 took off his shirt in the Diet Coke commercials) and
 Billy Dee Williams in TNN's 18 Wheels of Justice.

 The VCRs will be very busy tonight.

 Catching up on some old mail...

 From: Khafara at AMPOL

 "I think the feeling among a bunch of Republicans is that Gore
 will be the Democratic nominee, and they think that the more
 money Bradley has to spend - and the tougher fight Gore has
 in the primary - will make it all the easier for Bush to be
 victorious in the general election," said William R. Sasso,
 a Philadelphia lawyer who was a GOP state finance committee
 chairman in the early 1990s.

 Why is the GOP contributing to Bill Bradley's campaign?

 (They want him to beat up on Gore.)

 Why is Bradley accepting money from Republicans?

 (He wants to win reeeeeeeeeeeal bad.)

 I hope Bradley doesn't win.
 I don't like him.

 Monkey Mail

 Subject:  funny but wrong

 From: mesibov@tenforward.com

 Fun to read but your young yet. Keep an open mind and if
 you think that making fun of Rush and the Republicans is fun
 wait to you see what a riot it is to expose the crazy keystone
 cop idiots on the left!

 Just wait to you study the left, you ain't seen anything yet.
 Can you say Hypocrisy?!

 Thanks, Phil, and don't foget to support the Chinese cause they buy
 elections and maybe someday they can buy you  some reality. Ha.

 I'm jealous.
 I've always wanted to learn a second language,

 Several people have written about the hour Pigboy spent on Clinton's cock Tuesday.
 (That sounded funny.)

 It's another new low for the Incredible Pigboy.

 Yes, I taped it. The boys at the lab are working on it.
 It should be ready by Wednesday.

 Off Topic

 Thirty one years ago today Led Zeppelin I was released.
 Thirty one years?
 I'll bet half the people reading this aren't 31 yet.

Dueling Right-Wing Whores

I have an Eargasm I think you'll like.

This shows what happens when two shameless whores
are sooooooooo goddamn interested in slurring the president
that they can't remember which side of the slur they're on.

The first eargasm is the Incredible Pigboy blaming liberals for
saying high school kids are going to have sex, no matter what...

Pigboy Claim

Dr. Laura Claim

Then we hear Dr. Laura say well-trained military personel can't
control themselves, but Rush expects high school kids to do it?

Which one is lying?

Dr. Laura says out best-trained military people are helpless,
she even says, "Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease," with disgust,
but Pigboy ignores her and blames the liberals are lying about it.

Hey, you two radio whores need to get together and decide
once and for all if people can control themselves or not.
You can't have it both way, so decide - right now.

You see, in Whoreville, you don't have to make sense.
You don't have to have any consistency, because the red-meat
knuckledraggers will belive any goddamn thing you tell them.

 VCR Alert

 I think there are only two great shows on television right now:
 The Sopranos, which starts again Sunday, and West Wing.

 I hope West Wing is getting the attention it deserves.
 One recent show about a frozen-to-death homeless veteran
 was a masterpiece, but USA Today called it, "sappy."

 Fuck USA Today.

 TV Guide says tonight's show is a good one.
 If you're not watching West Wing,
 you're missing the best show on free TV.

 Plus, the big event of the night, VH-1 is running the Shania Twain
 concert where she's wearing the silver boots and silver hot pants.


 This is why God invented VCRs.

 Then Thursday on Friends, Ross and Chandler have a cow
 because Playboy magazine published a joke they wrote.
 Don't feel bad, guys, they stole two from me in one month.

 ...and mark The Sopranos on your Sunday calendar.

 Wish I'd Thought of That

 From:   swogal@bellatlantic.net

 Subject: Dan "Fool on the Hill" Burton

 I wonder if Rep. Dan Burton's (R-Moron) going to let C-SPAN cover his
 backyard pool recreation of Elian Gonzalez's "landing" on American soil.
 There must be something about all this that he can blame on Clinton!

  ha ha

 From:  Bells65@wwnet.net

 Subject: Children's Rights, Immigrant Rights, and Hillary

 Question #1:  Remember how Repubs used to blast Hillary for stating
 that children should be entitled to an advocate to petition the court on
 their behalf?  (Rush deduced that she meant that kids would sue for one
 million dollars if they were forced to clean their rooms.)

 Question #2:  Have Repubs supported or opposed the liberal notion that
 immigrants are entitled to the due process of law?

 Then think about Elian Gonzalez.

 Republicans just hit the hypocrisy daily double.
 They want full legal rights for an immigrant minor.

 I always knew Hillary was 100% right about those issues,
 and now Dan Burton realizes it, too.

 p.s. Isn't it ironic that scumbag Dan is expressing that he doesn't
    think this young man needs to be with his father?  Maybe he feels that
    if he can keep enough fathers and sons apart, people won't think
    the abandonment of his own illigitimate child was so bad.

 Headline on the fabulous "Smudge Report"



 I visit the Smudge Report a lot.
 It has links to everything.

Face the Whore
January 9, 1999

Did you see McCain on Face the Whore?
Bob Scheiffer started right after him:

"How does it feel sitting here today when everyone is
 questioning your honesty about campaign finance reform?"

McCain started laughing.

"Pretty good, actually, because the last time I was here
 you guys were questioning my sanity."

I found another picture of Dr. Laura.


You'd think now that she's hit the big time, she'd...
That's not Dr. Laura?
It's who?
Devine Brown?

Oh, that's right.
That's the woman who was arrested with Hugh Grant.

Sorry, wrong whore.

 More Clinton Fatigue

 If Clinton fatigue is real, why do twin whores Gail Sheehy
 and Barbara Olson have new and TRUE books out
 about Hillary's personal, intimate feelings about Bill?

 If Clinton fatigue is real, who's going to buy this crap?
 Besides those two whores, we have:

 Bill and Hillary : The Marriage; Christopher P. Andersen

 No One Left to Lie To; Christopher Hitchens (the shit)

 The First Partner : Hillary Rodham Clinton; Joyce Milton

 Betrayal : How Clinton Undermined US Security; Bill Gertz

 Clinton Fatigue?
 The right-wing psycho-babs can't get enough of Clinton's cock.

 You see this?


 This is Al Gore if he doesn't start taking my advice.


 I told you months ago - shut the hell up and take a nap.
 You have this election won!

 Fuck the press.

 Go into hiding.
 America trusts you more than anyone else who's running.
 Your team won the Stanley Cup, Al.
 Seven goddamn years in a row.
 They love you.
 All you gotta do is shut up and accept their mandate.

 Al, have you ever sold cars?
 The second the customer says, "I'll take it,"
 you STOP selling them the goddamn car.

 Word on the street is, you're broke.
 Al, what the fuck are you spending money on?
 Bradley was never a threat.

 I said it then,
 I'll say it now,
 I'll say it again.
 Why are you spending money?

 Bradley can't get fucking arrested, but you insist on dragging his
 dull ass before endless televised debates so you can appear as equals
 while the two of you pick health care minutia to fucking death
 while the voters die from boredom?


 ...are you smart enough to be president?

 As of today, January 10, 2000,
 You could lose this if you try really, really hard.

 Al, trust me.
 You can't lose if you shut your mouth and play the clock.
 Your team is ahead 40-6 at half time.

 Run the ball...

 Clinton is Guilty

 Ask BartCop
 From:    sniper@cei.net

 Subject: Wise-ass relative


 Got some e-mail from a conservative relative in the military.
 He posed a 'moral dilemma,' to me.

 You're a photographer and you see Clinton fall in a river.
 You have a choice between helping him or taking a prize winning photo.
 What shutter speed would you use?

 What would you tell him?

 Sonny Scott
 Little Rock, AR


 Send him a picture of Al Gore, grinning ear-to-ear,
 holding a newspaper headline that reads, "Butch Wins."

 Maybe he's old enough to remember Truman,

 More DP Thoughts

 From:  nickbarlow@disinfo.net

 Subject: Gun control, the death penalty, George Harrison

 On the George Harrison thing - one Beatle attacked in a country
 without gun control, one attacked in a country with gun control.
 Which one lives?

 But of course, gun control doesn't deter crime or save lives.

 And if the death penalty is a deterrent - why is the murder rate
 so much lower in (capital punishment free) Western Europe than the US?

Nick B

 From:  swogal@bellatlantic.net

 Subject: It's the PUNISHMENT, Stupid!

 I agree with you a lot, so it pains me disagree with you about
 lambasting Gov. Blowmonkey on the death penalty.

 "Is the death penalty a deterrent?" Well, it is on recidivism rates.
 It has deterred Ted Bundy from sneaking into another Sorority house.
 There is a reason why the phrase is "Crime and Punishment."
 The death penalty as a deterrent?
 Nah, that's not the point.
 The point is, there are some BAD people on this planet with us
 and sometimes it becomes necessary to cull the herd.

 Anyway, we have too much in common to let this disagreement get in
 the way of your truth campaign against the Nazi Giver of Shade.

 R. LaGow

 Like abortion and guns, I have a split decision on the death penalty.
 The other death penalty countries are places like Iran, Iraq and Yemen.
 I hate being in bed with the religious crazies.

 The liberal in me says, "murder is murder," but
 the conservative in me wants blood, and right now!

 Remember when that punk-ass Bernard Shaw asked Democratic
 presidential nomiee Michael Dukakis during the 1988 debate,
 "What would you do to the man who raped and murdered your wife?"

 Dukakis kicked the dirt and said, "Capital punishment is wrong,"
 which made him look weak and indifferent to his wife's murder.

 Of course, the correct answer to that particular question is,
 "I'd dismember the slug limb-by-limb with my own goddamn hands,"
 but that's why they don't let the widower sit on the jury.

 The emotional argument says, "Let's watch the bastard bleed,"
 but I think the the calm, rational man says, "No" to murder.
 As far as Ted Bundy and the sorority house, I understand,
 but Sirhan Sirhan hasn't shot anybody lately, either.

 My problem with the Blow Monkey is he keeps whining about his
 "ocean of compassion," while he, personally leads the Western Hemisphere
 in state-sanctioned murders. (His brother in Florida is number two.)

 ...which reminds me,

 Question for George

 Carla Fay Tucker was a poor,  abused and molested drug addict
 who said, "The love of Jesus Christ turned my life around."
 She confessed everything and asked for forgiveness.

 ...and what did you do?

 You had her killed.

 Is that was Jesus taught you?
 Is that what your favorite political philosopher would've done?

 Had her killed?

 Didn't you tell us, "Jesus Christ turned my life around," too?
 Remember, Jesus was a victim of the death penalty.

 You, Governor Butch, on the other hand, have failed to confess,
 and you have failed to ask forgiveness.

 So why should we forgive you?

 Would your favorite philosopher want you to confess your sins?
 Would your favorite philosopher want you to ask forgiveness?
 Or would He want you to cloak, obfuscate and deny everything?

 Please George, don't break our hearts.

 Be honest with us.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Whore?

Caller: Dr. Laura, my husband cheated on me.
            He says he's sorry and won't do it again.
            He says he loves me.
            We have a teenage daughter, and she loves her father.
            Should I take him back?

 Dr. Laura: It's OK to take him back, but if you do,
                    you should change your name to Hillary.

 Hold on,
 Let me do a shot...


 I have a question for you, Dr. Laura:
 You posed for the most disgusting pictures on the anything-goes Internet.

 You cheated on your husband,
 and had a child out-of-wedlock, Dehrhychke, the poor bastard.

 I think your husband should change his name to Hillary.

 Hey, Laura!!
 You anything-for-a-nicklel, spitefull bitch.
 You and Pigboy want a tax cut, and that's all this is about.
 He don't give a fuck,
 and you don't give a fuck.

 This is about money in your bank account, clean and simple.
 Does anybody think Rush or Dr Laura got rich by helping people?

 If putting others first meant riches,
 how did Mother Teresa die poor?

 No, this is about greed.

 Call Clinton an opportunist, they give you $1000.
 Call Clinton an evil leftist with an agenda,, they give you $10,000.
 Call Clinton a suspected sexual pervert, they give you $100,000.
 Call Clinton, "That fucking rapist," they give you $1,000,000.
 Call Clinton "The most immoral man who ever lived,"
       and they'll give you $10,000,000 and call you Dr. Laura.
 Call Clinton the most evil murderer to ever breathe oxygen,
       and they give you $20,000,000 and call you Pigboy.

 Yes, the Republican Party is the party of values.

 Letter to the Editor

 Will the NRA learn?

 If George Harrison, like John Lennon, had lived in the United States,
 his assailant would have carried a gun and he would be dead.

 How many more ex-Beatles must die before the
 National Rifle Association and Congress get it?

 Andrew Meisel

U.S. Abortions Continue To Decline

ATLANTA (AP) - The number of American women who
received abortions in 1997 was the lowest in more  than 20
years, with experts citing everything from reduced access to
clinics, more willingness to use contraception and changing
attitudes about the procedure as causes.

The CDC cited several factors for the decline, including access
issues, an increased willingness to use contraceptives and possibly
different attitudes about the moral implications of abortion.

This is good news, and we need to give credit for the drop
to our best president, Bill Clinton.

You know why?
Because if the number of abortions had increased, they'd be
blaming Clinton and his "pro-murder, baby-killing" policies.

In '96, a report said that more high school kids were smoking pot.
So old Bob Dole and the right-wing lugnuts stepped up and declared,
"This is all Bill Clinton's fault."

So, when things go the right direction,
Clinton gets the credit.

Got a problem with that?

E-Mail BartCop

Saw it on the Newsgroup  ok.general

> Should religious nuts be allowed to let their children
> handle rattlesnakes if their religion says they should?

> Should parents be allowed to refuse medical help for
> their dying child for religious reasons?

> Should a nut like David Koresh be allowed to rape children
> if he claims his personally-invented religion demands it?

> Should cock-fighting be allowed if some nut's religion
> says it's "A good and holy practice?"

> Should native Oklahomans be allowed to eat peyote?

> Can a guy invent a religion that demands he smokes pot on weekends?

> Religious insanity must be stamped out, but like everything else,
> Oklahoma will be the 49th state to do it.

ha ha

Zepp does the Weather Report

This is a real favorite.

 The idea that this trying-his-best, brain-damaged test-monkey
 might be put in charge of the planet we live on, scares me.

 Of course, if the Cocaine-addicted alcoholic wins the big race,
 Mrs. BartCop will get her fine Jaguar with the real wood trim.

Is the death penalty a deterrent?

So far, Texas Governor Bush has executed 112 people.
In the coming weeks, he's going to kill three more.

Governor George Bush has killed more people than
any governor of any state since he was elected in 1994.
Yet, the crime rate in Texas is way above the national average.

Is the death penalty a deterrent?

Worry Mail

From: Opposite Lock

Subject: Oh my God! They killed Rack!

I don't know if you two guys "compete" for hits,
but I thought you might like to know this.

 > From: Rack Jite <rackjite@worldnet.att.net>

 > To: Opposite Lock <randall_guyton@yahoo.com>

 > Subject: Oh my God! They killed Rack!
 > Organization: Conservatively Incorrect

 > The server is down. I don't know why, and my email to them goes
 > unanswered. You can get there with the old address, though
 > http://rackjite.bourg.net


 Rack is the man.
 Rack was kicking Nazi ass when I was still in diapers.
 Everybody needs to visit Conservatively Incorrect.

 Somebody takes a shot at Rack, I'm there - I grab the Baby.
 If Rack needs to fend off some hostile ISP,
 I'll peel off some Franklins and help a brother out.

 The Internet is mostly ruled by right-wing Limbaugh/McVeigh types.
 There's only a dozen or so pro-American patriots on the www,
 and Pigboy's fascist/racism rules American radio,
 so we patriots have to stick together.

 Rack - we're with you, buddy.

 So I'm watching Letterman.
 He's been begging for weeks/months for Hillary to come on.
 (She should - she'd knock 'em dead.)

 A few nights ago, Dave made this joke:

 "Chelsea, by all accounts, seems like the nicest, most well-adjusted
  young woman, and everybody I've talked to thinks the world of her,
  ........but she has these two thugs for parents..."

 I laughed out loud.
 I have a sense of humor.
 I love a good Clinton joke.

 As a student of humor, I enjoyed the craftsmanship he used.
 When he set up the joke, he acted like he was very pro-Democrat,
 and then he turned and fired his killshot out of the fucking blue...
 It's the unexpected that gets the big laugh.


 Dave, like ol' BartCop, tells you he's in it for the fun.
 Dave doesn't claim to speak for God.
 Dave doesn't swear he's America's truth detector.
 Dave doesn't swear he's the ONLY honest person in America.
 Like me, (not that I think my little BartCop's Tree House is in Dave's league)
 Dave doesn't mislead gullible ditto-sheep into thinking that he's God,
 unlike some Nazi-whore-pig-scumbag-dickwads I could name.

 Bottom line?

 Do a Clinton joke without the racist, Nazi, white-power hatred,
 and I'll probably be laughing the loudest.

Fun Mail

From: O Khan

> Bartcop - Did you see the David Duke on the Daily Show last week ?
> hahaha... nothing better than watching a nazi squirm...
> You would would have loved the byline "David Duke -- How
> the leading honkey-ass cracker-eating motherfucker in America
> rose from small-time bigotry to become the king of ignorance"

> I liked the last question: "Mr.Duke, there's something America
> has been dying to know... what _is_ the best way to get
> stains out of a white sheet ?"
> Too bad comedy central doesn't publish transcripts....

 Damn, that's killer comedy.
 Send more stuff like that!

 I wished I'd seen it.
 You're right - nothing's better than a nazi on camera.
 I was so sad when Rush lost his TV show due to bad ratings.
 When America gets a good look at racist/fascism they vote Democrat.
 That's why Clinton won the last two elections.
 People heard Pigboy's hate and got very scared.

 Have you ever seen the KKK guy on Stern?
 Right there, in front of Robin, he'll say,
 "Niggers are just monkeys that talk."

 Wasn't that in the GOP platform in 1992?
 When I read that, Pat Buchanan's face popped into my head.
 When will the Republican party reject racism and homophobia?

 Maybe in the next millennium?

Bad Language Alert

 Who Was It?

 Bad Boy Drudge claims somebody was caught having
 3-way sex in the White House on New Year's Eve.
 Drudge says he knows, but won't say, "due to privacy."

 ha ha

 At first, I thought that meant it was a Republican,
 but then I remembered they don't have sex.

 So, I'll put my money on Jack Nicholson,
 and Drudge knows better than to cross Jack.
 Nobody crosses Jack...

 Also, I'll bet his current live-in girlfriend, Lara Flynn Boyle,
 was not one of the ladies involved.

 If they split up, I'm right.

 Butch Ready to Execute Three Juveniles

 The American Bar Association has joined death penalty foes
 to condemn Dubya's ruthlessness in running his home state.

 The day after the Iowa primary, Texas will execute the first of
 three men who were 17 when they committed their crimes.
 Governor Blow Monkey is under fire for displaying little of the
 "compassionate conservatism" that he talks about so much.

 Texas has killed record numbers of black men under Butch,
 and will execute eight men in the next few weeks,
 including one who is a paranoid schizophrenic.

 The ABA said that only five other countries -
 Iran, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Yemen -
 have killed juveniles in the Nineties.

 Glen McGinnis, who was 17 when he murdered a woman
 in 1990, and Anzel Jones, who was the same age when he
 killed in 1995, will die on January 25 and 26 respectively.
 Toronto Patterson will be executed next month.

  All three are black.
  (Editor's nore - I'm shocked.)

 Mr Bush says that he looks at every case "thoughtfully and
 carefully", but that he "does not have the right to show mercy,"
 on the grounds of age or mental illness.

 A Pocketful of Eargasms
 (You gotta get speakers. What's more fun than Pigboy hanging himself?)

 Is Governor Butch a true conservative?

 Is Governor Cocaine as smart as his brother Jeb?

 Would the GOP trade their "moral superiority" for a victory?

 Rush admits everything to Tim the Catholic>

 Here's a triple-dipper that will knock you over.
 1 - Was Reagan powerless to stop the spend-spend-spend liberals?
 2 - What's more important, Rush?
       Results or intentions?    How many times has Rush said
      "It's the results - NOT intentions, that count."
 3 - Did Reagan cut taxes or did Reagan raise taxes?

 Next is the biggest whore-job so far of the year 2000.
 This is CNBC being almost as shameless as Fox News.

 Great Racist Quotes

 "It was disgusting to see Will Smith and all those rappers
   in front of the Lincoln Memorial on New Year's Eve.
   It might've just as well have been Puff Daddy out there."

   -- Rush the Pig, hate radio Jan 3

 Can you believe he said that?
 I can.

 Everybody knows Puff Daddy was recently arrested for possession
 of a stolen handgun while he was on probation for assault.
 He pled guilty to beating a man with a baseball bat.
 We all agree Puff isn't an ideal citizen.


 Far as I know, Will Smith is as clean as they come.
 I've never even heard of Will Smith smoking pot,
 and I'm sure he hasn't been arrested since becoming famous.

 But he's black.
 That means he's trouble.

 To Rush ( and at least 51 percent of the GOP ) there's no difference
 between guilty blacks like Puff and and innocent blacks like Smith.

 They're just black.
 They don't belong here.
 They don't belong in our America.
 They're ruining this formerly great country for the decent white folks.

 Oh, sure, there are a few good blacks:

 - the ones who think and act white (Clarence Thomas)
 - the ones who attack other blacks (Thomas Sowell)
 - the ones who ditto Pigboy's screams for a tax cut (Rep. OJ Watts)
 - the ones who want fewer blacks to have an education (Ward Connerly)

 Rush doesn't usually lay his cards on the table like he did yesterday,
 but that's probably a side effect of the strokes that are ravaging his brain.
 Rush forgot to cloak the hate this time.

 Puff Daddy?
 Will Smith?

 There's no difference - they're black.


From:   SprtofStLs@aol.com

 Subject:    (no subject)

Why do you hate him so much ?
It's not that bad !!!!!  It's freedom of speech my friend

 ...get fucking used to it pal and get a life !!!!!!!!

ha ha


 I got some e-mail concerning former FBI Agent Judas Aldrich.

 Seems like the dirty snitch/narc/tattletale has written another book.
 I don't like snitches, narcs or tattletales.

 One of the few pieces I'm proud of was at the end of Volume 44.

 Take a moment, if you can, and re-visit the whoring of the American press.

 Go to  Previous Issue

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