NO TO ASHCROFT
Late night surfing, ran into this on the bartcop
January 11 2001 at 7:44 PM
By: Justahighschoolyoungrepublican (login Gorelost)
Its twenty to 8 ,central time...are you gonna
debate tonight ON MSNBC ,
where you DO NOT have editing control ,or are you gonna wimper out?
BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK!
Who are you?
Let me guess - you have some "tough questions" that're gonna "put me
in the box"
and you're gonna "show me up" as the "phony I am" if I meet you a few hours ago
-- on MSNBC, for some damn reason - to chat with "Gorelost,"
who is screaming "Bawk! Bawk!?"
I can use good writers on bartcop.com
Are you saying I'm hard to reach?
I have an e-mail address - it's hard to remember.
Need to borrow a pen?
Sharpies can memorize it in less than a day.
I ran into your challenge on a fluke.
I've been here maybe 4 times in my life,
so here's where you post your big challenge?"
I'd enjoy debating you, especially in front of a large audience.
Let's set that up.
...can I have 5 days to draw a crowd?
We should limit these "big" debates to people with web sites that have
to go dark in shame
after being made to eat it in front of all the people who were watching.
Someday they'll do the BartCop story on A&E, and their crack research
will catalog each time a ditto-monkey got sac-heavy and challenged the champ.
Sir or Madam, to my knowledge, you've never even sent me e-mail.
It's easy to say "Wyatt Earp refused to face me," if Wyatt never saw your yellow ass.
In court, they call you "bad service."
1. Grow a pair.
2. Get a website to which you are accountable, then you will have some credibility.
Without your own website, with your wild-ass, bomb-throwing horseshit,
you can just slither back to hotmail.com and change your identity to "hillarylost,"
and issue another "bartcop is afraid" alert for next week's sheep.
So, what's it going to be?
You have a decision to make, punk.
...do you feel lucky?
...do ya, punk?
There's a website dedicated to the men and women who serve on big ships.
Often, their politics are wrong,
but as long as they're being shot at we owe them, big-time.
New Look, New Beginning
Linda Tripp with New Excuses
Click Here .
Laura the Unloved is going on and on about how unfair it was for
to not get a job with Smirk because she was a tax cheat.
This - from the lady who tells people to have their kids arrested
if they pull
an extra quarter out of mom's purse to buy candy?
Oh, that's right.
Chavez has an "R" after her name, so tax fraud isn't a crime in
...and GOP tax fraud has nothing to do with Clinton's cock.
If Linda Chavez truly cared about Marta's welfare,
she would have assisted the woman
in becoming a legal immigrant, then paid her a fair wage with taxes.
The Last Dog is Still Barking
Bill Clinton goes out a big winner
One citizen who was down on his luck was Ron Machos, who volunteered for the Clinton campaign
after he was laid off, lost his insurance, had a son with a heart defect and was about to file for bankruptcy.
Now he runs his family's thriving small business. Machos broke into tears as he introduced Clinton as
``the people's president who never lost touch with us regular people.''
Subject: Law and Order quiz
I'll take wild stab at it.
Donna Hanover, the lovely soon to be ex-Mrs.Guiliani?
No, but not a bad guess.
I'm glad you didn't get it, Rich, because you've already won a Vette from bartcop.com
You can only win one Vette in any 12-month period.
In 1973 Jerry Orbach was having lunch at
Umberto's Clam House in Little Italy.
What happened to make this dinner newsworthy?
At first I thought you might mean the mob hit on Crazy Joe Gallo, but that was in 1972.
I give up.
Linda Tripp again
She loves that spotlight
I read a theory about why C.S.I. has been such a bit hit.
Besides being a quality show,
it's well-written and acted, and it doesn't insult your intelligence. Also, it's in the same
time slot as the original X-Files, which was also a quality show, well-written and acted.
It just might be that some intelligent people are home early on Friday nights, and would
like some quality entertainment instead of some stupid cookie-cutter, sit-com crap.
So what does CBS do? They switch it's time slot.
That's the first rule of TV programming: If it works - fix it!
The donkeys at CBS are going to screw this up, you can just tell.
They're going to bounce this show around like a pinball.
So watch C.S.I. while you can - before Leslie Moonves throws it away.
Subject: Law & Order
aaaaahhhh .. can't remember name, don't have time
to look up,
but she's now on West Wing as Press Secretary CJ.
.. HAVE A GREAT DAY .. sure do enjoy your site.
AS THEY SAY DOWN HERE IN THE SOUTH,
YOU'RE DOIN' JUST A REAL WELL JOB!
(bells and sirens go off, balloons and confetti fall from the rafters)
Peggy, you won!
Yes, mean old Ben Stone pushed CJ and pushed CJ and pushed CJ to testify.
He threatened to put her in prison for obstruction of justice.
(This was over murder, not a little oral sex)
Seeing no other way out, she agreed, and testified, and the bad guys
while she was moving out of her apartment, standing between cops.
Stone said "Screw it," and handed his resignation to Adam Schiff (D-CA).
Good going, PasoPeggy.
What color do you want your Vette?
Subject: Law & Order quiz
The actress on the "Law and Order" episode who
got Stone to resign is Allison Janney,
otherwise known as C.J. Craig on "The West Wing".
Do I get the rest of the 'Vet?
--- Erin Palicki
My e-mail goes in reverse chronological order,
meaning Erin actually got it first.
I will contact Katherine Harris and see of she
has any suggestions on how to settle this.
The character you speak of is C.J. from the West
Wing. Her real name is
Allison Janney. She also had a good role in last year's Oscar Winner, "American Beauty."
She played the wife of the Chris Cooper character, who is a Republican to the max.
It was Allison Janney who played the witness who
She now plays C.J. Cregg on West Wing.
Allsion Janney (The West Wing's own C.J. Cregg)
portrayed the witness
gunned down by the Russian mob in Michael Moriarty's last L&O episode.
Now, does the Corvette come with wheels,
or do I have to get them from that other guy?
In the show, Ben Stone left because a witness
he pressured to testify
(told her she'd be killed by the mob even if she didn't testify)
and she got whacked at the very end of the show.
The actress who played the witness was Allison
Janney, *I think.* I saw the
episode in question just a couple week and her pic in IMDB looks like the witness.
It is allison janney from the west wing who guest starred in that episode.
Also during the west wing did you catch the commercial
It is a online vote to vote on your favorite WW episode with the winning show to air in Feb.
But the closer was when the annoucer mentioned "go vote, because on nbci.com every vote counts"
Thought that tag line was great
The actress was Allison Janney who currently plays C. J. Cregg on The West Wing.
Looks like all that's left is the name of the
actress who played the witness who was killed.
It was Allison Janney ... aka The Jackel ... aka C.J. Cregg from The West Wing!
Maybe I should keep the Vette and drive you all to work each day?
Memo to Self: Make the next quiz a lot harder.
Smirk, take your bong and go back home
Subject: Sauza vs Chinaco
Had a buddy show up last night from a Mexico visit.
He brought back Sauza Commemorativo
and we did a few shots with lime and salt. I was unable to conclude that it was better than Chinaco.
I actually thought Chinaco was slightly smoother.
What is your expert opinion on the two?
Vodka, for my money, should be super-smooth, so I like the Grey Goose.
Tequila is another story.
Once you get to 100 percent blue agave, you're into personal preference.
I've had the Commemorativo and I have no complaints.
But there's only one Chinaco.
Each time I take my first sip o' the day of Chinaco Anejo
I am very surprised how good it tastes.
The first thing Chinaco does is it doesn't make any mistakes.
Second, it has that hint of fruity flavors.
I like that Don Fillippe El Tesoro, but it's a little too
They give you more than a hint, same for Mrs BartCop's favorite, Corralejo.
It's possible El Tesoro and Corralejo make better margaritas,
but only limers (much derision) would know about that.
To me, cutting your fine, luxury tequila makes as much sense as cutting
If you see a guy buy an 8-ball of pure, pearly chunks of cocaine, then horrify everyone
by sprinkling in some powdered Vitamin B, tell him BartCop says he's crazy.
By the way - if you want to really impress your tequila-drinking buddies,
the correct pronunciation isn't ta-KEEL-a, it's tek-EEL-a.
I'm 47, and I just ran into Chinaco Anejo in 1999.
I've never tasted anything this good before, and I worry that there's
something out there that tastes better - but I haven't found it yet.
I will continue my search.
Women of the Clinton Scandals
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"So after I sprayed the mouse with Pam
cooking oil, I gave it a Cheerio,
but he didn't eat it, because insects don't like Cheerios."
-- Today, 10 minutes into the third hour
Pigboy, you poor brainless bastard...
Can anyone tell me who the author of this cartoon is?
A Couple of Sound Clips
As more of you are getting DSL and cable-modems, I'd like to do more of these.
Hopefully the traffic problem can soon be retired permanantly.
We have two clips:
One is about the planning of a cold-blooded murder of a best friend.
That's the one that everyone will like and won't get me in trouble.
The second clip is from Thursday's ER.
It causes certain people to quake and get very, very angry.
It's about going to Heaven.
Everybody take note that I didn't bring this up.
This is what they taled about on ER, I'm just the messenger.
Let's start with the trouble first.
Stretch Cunningham was on ER, playing a bishop.
Some idiot drunk wiped out a family and, just before he died, he got a free ticket
to an eternity of happiness with God that even the Whore Court couldn't overturn..
This is a conversation with Dr Kovic and the bishop.
The bishop knows Kovic lost his faith.
Hear the Clip
Even if you're the maddog child-rapist/killer of all time, if you're scared enough
and lucky enough to have a high-ranking church official in the next cubicle as you lay dying,
you're guaranteed an eternity in Heaven, which is nice, except for that the other really honest
and decent-all-his-life guy had a bad afternoon, took the Lord's name in vain two seconds
before the truck crushed his unlucky ass - and he's in Hell for all eternity!
We've establish in previous issues that religion is geography
Here's another theory - it's Vegas based.
If your luck is good, you don't have to obey the Ten Commandments.
If you're lucky, you can ignore Catholic dogma, and do things ...like remarry, for instance.
All you have to do is die near a bishop, like the guy on ER.
The roll of the dice has more to do with your eternal soul than your actions on Earth.
(This never works)
So instead of writing to say, "You disgust me with your Catholic hate,"
wouldn't it be more productive to say,
"No, Bart, you and ER have misrepresented the
"Yes, Bart, it's a silly system, but life is scary and we like our Linus blanket."
Done with the bad news, (all that religious talk) let's talk about
Let's talk conspiracy to commit cold-blooded murder.
I have a confession to make.
(No, I didn't kill anybody - yet.)
I missed two episodes of The Sopranos' first season.
Sunday's first hour was new to me - and it was Godfatherian.
I'm the biggest Sopranos fan, but I'd never seen this hour
This episode has the best Sopranos scene ever, and I was a hueueueueuge fan before this.
I'm going to give you the audio of the scene where head boss Tony
(they call him "T," sometimes)
is telling his Number One enforcer Paulie, that their brother/best-friend "Pussy" is a fucking rat for the cops.
Yes, Big Pussy has been wearing a wire - but for how long?
Panic is starting to set in.
This scene is so moving, swear to Koresh.
With too-little hindsight, I say only Michael's "I'll do it ...I'll kill 'em both" scene in God I was better.
Tony and Paulie, two stone cold mob hitters with dozens of kills each, having this tender,
sweet moment about having to clip their best friend of 40 years.
A trademark of The Sopranos has always been great, great
comedy in the most serious scenes.
Pauilie's reactions to the news are hilarious. This show is billed as a drama, but it has some great
belly laughs for a dramatic show.
In a perfect world, all TV would be this good.
In a perfect world, there'd be 20 shows on TV each week better than West Wing and Sopranos.
But, Eve had to go and eat the apple so most TV sucks hard.
Sorry - back to the clip...
Note: Tony isn't a drinker. When he's hitting the bourbon,
something is wrong.
It works so much better visually - duh - that's why they have television, but if you can
get into this scene with just the sound, check out the last second - all you hear is the ice
in Tony's glass as he finishes his whiskey on the rocks right after, ...well, ...you know...
Hear the Clip
That was well done.
New shows start in about six weeks.
Subject: Re: Law and Order
Ben Stone was the DA until 1994 according to www.imdb.com
and the episode guest starring CJ of West Wing is from 1992.
Did Ben have to think about it for awhile?
I don't watch Law and Order so I am just guessing.
PS Because of Sopranos and lack of time I guessed Edie Falco
Carl, as guesses go, that's a damn good one, but Alison Janney (CJ)
is the right answer.
I'm not sure what point of view they have over at imbd.com
but I can only testify to that which I saw with my own eyes.
The episode in question was on last week, so yeah, it was her
and it was that episode,
and at the end Stone said, "Bye, Adam, I'm a ghost," but yes, it's possible that
Moriarty did additonal shows after that but I'd bet against it.
...I think I'd make a better Secretary of State than Colin Powell.
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
People tell me StopLaura.com is no longer a valid address.
I tried it, got a "no response."
This may not be bad news, after all, her career seems finished.
No sense spending energy to kill the dying..
Laura used to be popular, you know...
She's reduced to begging for advertisers more than I am,
...and they know who she is.
Ashcroft's nephew got probation
after major pot bust
Mr. John Hardon Gets Soft on Crime
Subject: Fraudcast excellence...
Friday, Rush had Linda Chavez on the phone during
the program. He tried twice to bait her
into blaming the liberals for blowing her big chance. Had she done so the flames of blame
would have been fanned into an inferno. But all that was fanned were the embers of hypocrisy.
He was trying to make her look like a victim,
something we have heard Rush say over and over is a patented liberal ploy!
I thought that was odd, too, since he called her a liar this week.
They're trying to spin it as "no big deal," but now everyone knows Chavez
couldn't get the job because she's a liar and a tax cheat.
Why don't they arrest her for that?
Where Is Carol Mosely-Braun When
We Need Her?
Have you seen the new promo for The Sopranos on HBO?
The Santa-dumpster promo was an A, but this is the best promo
The slow zoom in on the bubbling, blood-red pasta sauce
while listening to the multi-layered conflicts that explode every day in Tony's head.
Click Here to hear the promo and the bubbling.
This was so well done, I want to send the director money.
Looks like a crime scene, doesn't it?
You're either watching The Sopranos or you're not,
but if you've never seen an episode, catch that promo and you're hooked.
I'm old - I've seen thousands of promos, this is one of the best ever.
What kind of slug runs
From the Associated Press
Keating's future not as bright on national scene
OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) -- A few months ago,
Gov. Frank Keating
was the toast of the national television talk shows. Now he's under
an ethics cloud and wondering if his loose lip spoiled chances to be
vice president or attorney general.
State Democratic Party officials have one ethics complaint
pending against Keating and are looking into whether acceptance of
$250,000 from a mutual fund tycoon justifies a second accusation.
Democrats concede they have no evidence that Jack Dreyfus,
retired founder of the Dreyfus mutual funds, expected anything in
return for money he gave to help the three Keating children with
Still, there's an appearance of impropriety, his critics say.
Keating appears to be taking the criticism in stride. He has
survived ethics controversies before.
But he says he "would like to know the answer'' to whether the
Dreyfus gifts played a role in his being turned down as
President-elect George Bush's attorney general.
Or was it his propensity for sticking his foot in his mouth?
Keating drew a private admonishment from aides to Bush during
the presidential campaign when he said the president-elect should
disclose anything "arguably criminal'' about possible past drug use.
Keating said he thought he owed Bush his candor.
Democrats think Keating's shoot-from-the-hip style may have
done him in for both positions.
Back home, Keating has had to apologize for such things as
joking that "homicide'' was the best way to deal with teachers'
unions and calling a state senator a Bolshevik.
Most of the time, Keating has defended his characterizations,
saying they were misunderstood or taken out of context.
He has riled large groups of people, from teachers, to blacks, to
those in a whole section of the state.
He once compared bad teachers to "slugs'' and has called
Democrats "dunderheads'' who "don't have religion.''
A Roman Catholic and an ardent supporter of the death penalty,
Keating said the Pope "is wrong'' in opposing the death penalty. He
says the pontiff misinterpreted teachings of the church.
He angered many in heavily Democratic southeast Oklahoma
when he quoted a CEO as saying that people from that area "are
unemployable because they're either illiterate, on drugs, or both.''
On the subject of drugs, he described methamphetamines as "a
white trash drug'' and crack cocaine as "a black trash drug.''
Oklahoma has elected this nut and Inhofe, Nickels, Largent, Coburn etc.
I am so ashamed to admit I live in this black hole.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"California's population has doubled in the
last ten years."
--Fri, on Pork Radio
I had some Hussongs Reposado tequila last weekend.
I was going to give them a decent rating (but not too good)
I read the back of the bottle where it said, "Chill before drinking."
That's a cardinal sin in tequila drinking.
You don't do that.
You don't pay $30 a bottle then "fix" the taste.
Chilling deadens the taste buds.
They must not be very proud of their tequila if they think killing
your taste buds is the best way to get the most of out their product.
Shame on Hussong's tequila.
Happy Birthday Vendela Kirsebom
Read the Previous
It was full of TV trivia and Ashcroft proof that the press won't print.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
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