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Volume 580 - Talk Dirty to Me

 (put your ad here)

 September 10, 2001                                                                          Confirmed VCR Alert
 The Dallas Cowboys lost, so it was a good weekend. 

 George McGovern, War Hero
   by Mark Shields, part-time Democrat

 Click  Here

 For working in that 1972 campaign, I was called a "McGovernite." That's OK as long as those
 doing the calling, the Newt Gingriches, the Dick Armeys and the Phil Gramms and the Trent Lotts
 and the Pat Buchanans and the Tom DeLays -- none of whom, unlike the heroic McGovern,
 ever answered his nation's call to service -- will agree to call themselves a "Nixonite."

  Back-stabbing SOB strikes again.
 Bush Puts Freeze on Aid for Utility Bills
  President delays releasing $300 million to help low-incomes avoid shut-offs

 Gory Details

 When Bush visited California in May, he pledged to seek $150 million to help low-income
 households pay high energy bills, saying, "I hope Congress acts quickly."

 Congress in July authorized $300 million to help energy consumers nationwide, double the president's request.

 But today, none of the emergency aid has been allocated, although officials in California and other states say the
 money is still desperately needed to help families pay off high bills from last winter and avoid utility shut-offs.

 What does this son of a bitch want?
 He has his oil friends jack up energy prices 1000 percent, then promises the people aid,
 then he holds onto it, no doubt to eventually funnel it to his super-rich corporate friends.

 Can we survive 4 years with this crooked moron stealing from the Treasury?

Cheney Defies GAO's Disclosure Demand
 Information on Energy Policy Sought    Washington Whore Post 9/7/01

Vice President Cheney yesterday continued to defy U.S. Comptroller General David Walker's
demand that he disclose information on the development of the administration's energy policy,
setting up a possible court showdown between the executive and legislative branches.

Trust me, Cheney's not worried.
He knows the Democrats are spineless and nutless.

From: dogfolks@cape.com

Subject: Limericks for John Fund

You didn't even mention John Fund in today's issue.
I'm sure you've heard all about it if you've been over to MWO.

Anyway, Fund is fond of limericks, as it turns out.
So, I sent him a couple.

There once was a newspaper editor,
Who thought no one should know that he'd bedded her.
But she got him on tape,
And, boy, he went APE!
Now everyone knows he's a predator.

There once was a cad named John Fund.
A mother and daughter he ruined.
But, now he's been hosed,
Completely exposed -
The south end of a north bound dachshund!

ha ha

 ha ha

Jack at jack@democratic-alliance.com is the
 winner of the Julie Hiatt Steele autograph


"In our country, we wouldn't let judges pick the president. I know that
   in various nations, judges were in the pocket of executive officials --
   I just didn't know that was so in the United States,''
     -- a Russian justice in Newsweek

 It didn't used to be that way.
 I'm so old, I remember when America had free elections...

 Heading for lunch, I caught some Jim Rome sports radio.
 He read a letter from a beer vendor who used to work Smirk's section at Arlington Stadium.
 He said W & friends were such an ill-tempered shits, and non-tippers, that when he sold them beer,
 each time, they would insist on getting back the 25 cents in change.

 He said it was very embarrassing for these multi-millionaires to be passing a quarter from one ass to
 the next so the guy at the end could be sure not to tip the kid working his part-time job at the stadium.

 He said he got even by not going down to Smirk's row,
 making it hard for Weak & Stupid to get a beer in his own stadium.

 Why is it always the super-rich guys who are the worst tippers?
 ...and why are the super-rich always whining about having to pay taxes?

 Don't they know that anyone would trade places with them,
 so they could complain about paying a million dollars in taxes?

No wonder he's silent.
He's holding in the smoke.

 El Pigbo is going on and on and on and on and on and on
 about how great Nebraka's football team is this year.

 In Oklahoma, you see this bumper sticker.

On the Seventh Day, God created the Cornhuskers,
and on the eighth day, OU kicked their ass.

From: drone@rccis.com

Subject: Kenneth Starr anagrams sounds boring as hell...

...but these are really good, and some are uncanny.
The phrase "independent counsel Kenneth Starr" can be rearranged into the following:

Unrepentant dick! Nerd, nonetheless.

Nine-tenths drunken pre-adolescent.

He's insulted nonrepentant redneck.

Drunk ensnared the penile contents.

Spank not the unelected nerd sinner.

No? Then kneel, prurient descendants!

Unelected; ensnared ten. Thinks porn.

ha ha

I know someone who'll get a real kick out of that...


 "People who are not fans of the president are going to like your site."
     --  George Hager of C-Span, telling the truth, staring at Volume 513

NRA opens branch offices in San Fran, Sacramento
 Unveils new slogan, "Over Two Million Shot"

 Click  Here


"If [Gore] had 'one more day - one more day,' Souter told the students,
  he believed he would have prevailed," according to the current Newsweek.

 Semi-Full Story

 Sex Police 'hard' at work in Miami

 Click  Here

 When he first walked into the bathroom, he heard what sounded like Logan masturbating
 inside the stall, Eugene testified. Then he spotted Logan through the partly opened door
 and confirmed the former lawmaker was pleasuring himself.

 Finally, he walked into an adjacent stall and saw through a baseball-size peephole that Logan
 was still masturbating, he said. Logan, the officer testified, was now staring at him in return.

 Let's see...

 Fireman enter burning, crumbling building to pull unconscious children to safety.
 Cops peep thru holes in public bathroom stalls hoping to catch a glimpse of something nasty.

 ...I think I like firemen better.

 JH Steele Update

 I talked to her Saturday night.
 She made a deal for her new place, but she hasn't seen it yet.
 She was supposed to move in Sunday (yesterday)  - I might get an update tonight.

 She told me she's been searching for a cartoon.
 It ran the day her trial started, either Jan 9 or 19th 1999, I think.
 I think it ran in the New York Daily News.
 They promised - twice - to send her a copy, but they didn't.

 It showed a tiny woman sitting under the hot lights (had 'JH Steele' written on her purse on the floor)
 and it showed three huge goons with "IOC" on their Nazi-like armbands.
 One of the nasty pricks had a Starr on his coat.
 It's possible the toon says, "The IOC just doesn't get it."

 Is there an archive of old cartoons somewhere?

 If you finders and diggers could locate that toon for her,
 she'd like to frame it and hang it on her wall.
 She'd be very grateful if someone could find that toon and send it in.

 I'll bet you'd get a personal thank you from her.
 Then you could put that on your wall.

 Also, the plans are still go for her arrival here.
 The day after she tells me she's moved in, she'll have a computer delivered.

 A few days after that...

 Here's a hair-raising Ode to the Moral Majority

  Click  Here

 Stodgy ayatollahs in their dobble-knit ties
 Burn lots of books so they can feed you their lies
 Masturbating with a flag and a bible
 God must be dead if you're alive

 I have a new program that should enable me to shrink the
 traffic pull of cartoons without shrinking them to unreadable size.
 Might be back to normal as soon as tomorrow. 

From: hc53@peoplepc.com

Subject: Bill Press & Bucky Barbara Olson on C-Span

C-Span had a great Sunday morning call in show featuring Bill Press and Bucky Barb Olsen.
I didn't catch all of it but I did get to hear three callers that ripped into Bucky.

The first called her a "devil " for the hatred shes' shown and still holds towards the Clintons,
especially Hillary.  The second accused her and the Repug machine she backs of being" facists",
and the third who claimed to be an ex-repug turned Independant since the coup called her a "witch"
for enriching herself writing hatefilled books about the Clintons.

I was encouraged to find out I'm not alone in my feelings
about this sad excuse of a human being!

There's a lot of buzz about that.
Wish I'd seen it.


 "Congress for too long has been on fishing expeditions and endless investigations."
     -- Ari Fleischer, explaining why this White House is ignoring congressional subpoenas.

 From: vivaldi1@freedom.net

Hey Bart look what the hypocrites are doing now, using a Dan Burton subpoena for
Clinton campaign finance records to support their claims of "executive privilege" and
stymie Waxman/GAO investigations into Cheney's "energy club".

They loved it when Danny Boy went after Bill, but now that the shoe is on the other foot
they don't want to be seen as partisan.  And they hope to gain pink tu-tu Democrat support
to cover up their own crimes.  After all, thought Karl Rove no doubt, 'if we can steal an
election we can overlook a few financing improprieties from 5 years ago'.
These bastards make me sick.


You can depend on the Democrats to cave in.
They're so scared...

 There's an important story at MWO you should see:

 It's about how the Washington Whore Post abandoned their fact-checking
 to go with every wild (and illegal) slur that Starr leaked against the Clintons.

 Click  Here

 You'll be glad you did.
 MWO is becoming one of the most important sites on the www.

  The best writer on the www?
 The Economy's `Dolt Factor'
     by Robert Parry at consortiumnews.com

 Click  Here

 To other Americans, Bush’s protestations of concern may have the hollow ring of his
 father’s famous recitation of a talking point during the 1992 campaign, “Message: I care.”
 Or the younger Bush's own garbled expression of sympathy for the average Joe in the
 2000 campaign: “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.”

 The younger Bush might be missing another important point. During an economic slump,
 Americans expect more from a president than sympathy and awareness of the obvious.
 They want someone who can rally the nation out of its economic doldrums
 and instill a confident can-do spirit.

 Hell, I'd be satisfied if The Dolt would just stop plundering the treasury
 to give taxpayer billions to his rich friends & buddies in the oil business.

From: EBax@bigfancygubmentjob.gov

Subject: sunday's c-span, second hour

bucky olson and bill press were the guests.  one caller got through and mentioned
laura bush killing someone in a car accident when she was a teenager.  bill press knew
about it, but said it was irrelevant.  bucky said she knew nothing about it, but you could
tell by looking that she was lying through her teeth.  :^)

and then there was another caller who got through
who called bucky "the most evil woman around."
what a wonderful sunday morning!

ha ha

When it comes to Laura Bush killing her fiance, I have no burning desire to run
that story to death, but isn't it funny that only 10 percent of America knows the
First Lady killed her fiance, but 99 percent "know" Hillary "murdered" Vince Foster?

The Clinton rumors get elevated to fact by the whore press,
and the facts remian uncovered because Karl Rove demands it,
and the whore press always does what Mr. Rove wants.

 Do the folks at TV Land  read  bartcop.com ?

 In an apparent take off on our World War II Project 60
 TV land is doing Project 50 on I Love Lucy.

 On October 15th, 2001, they're running the first I Love Lucy
 fifty years to the day it first premiered, with others to follow.

President Weak & Stupid on his father's recession

"The economy is moving in the right direction." --10/4/91

"I don't want to buy into the predicate about another recession. I don't feel that way." --10/25/91

"The economy's turned the corner, headed for recovery." --10/31/91

"I'm not prepared to say we are in a recession." --11/8/91

"It will not be a deep recession." --1/4/92

"The economy is in free-fall." --1/15/92

Ripken honored before final game in Seattle

SEATTLE (AP) -- The fans who cheered Cal Ripken's home run in his final All-Star game this summer
showed their appreciation again Sunday.  Ripken was honored by a sellout Seattle crowd. Mariners manager
Lou Piniella presented Ripken with a white Seattle jersey with his No. 8 signed by the Mariners players.
Each Seattle player shook his hand, and the fans gave him a long standing ovation. A plaque in his honor
was hung in the visitor's bullpen near where his July 10 home run landed.
He waved and tipped his hat to the fans.

"It's overwhelming,'' Ripken said of his farewell tour before Sunday's ceremony.
"I really didn't expect all this. There's a lot of heart and support in the stands. It's been great.''
Huge letters CAL were written in the dirt behind second base.

"Cal, Cal, Cal!'' fans screamed when he walked onto the field before the game.
His final trip to Seattle for the three-game series was special for Ripken.

"The environment is so exciting. It's always been an exciting baseball place to come.
  With the Mariners doing so well, a new stadium, you come in here and get energized.''

At the former Kingdome here, Ripken set career highs with three home runs and eight RBIs on May 28, 1996.
He hit a grand slam off Mike Jackson and two-run homers off Bob Wolcott and Scott Davison.

Orioles manager Mike Hargrove is not growing tired of all the Ripken recognition.
"I think it's good for our kids to see the results that are there if you have the talent Cal does,
  but also conduct yourself the way Cal has on and off the field,'' Hargrove said.

You gotta respect Cal Ripken.
He's everything Barry Bonds isn't.

 The Fence around the White House
   by Mike Lordi

 Click  Here

 Deja Vu
   by Isaac Peterson

 Click  Here

 When Clinton's policies went into effect, unemployment went down, corporate profits went up,
 the deficit went down, the surplus sky-rocketed, and so on and so forth.  It took Bushzilla and
 Left My Heart in Wyoming practically overnight to reverse all that.   See, we needed a
 'new direction', and we got it.   It's just that they didn't say the direction would be straight down.

 I Can't Take It Anymore
     by Maureen Dowd
  She hates everybody - this time it's President Dumb and Crooked

  Click  Here

 The fanfare for the common man rings hollow, given that Bush Inc. is refusing to turn over
 documents to Congress about the secret deliberations of Dick Cheney and energy lobbyists
 cooking up their drill & spill energy plan and is knocking down regulatory hurdles, further pleasing
 Big Energy, Big Media, Big Oil, Big Tobacco, Big Telecom and Big Weapons Manufacturers.

 Hey, Modo, there you go again...
 Looking around for someone else to blame for this monster stealing the White House.
 If you'd been more of an honest columnist and less of a whore, the smarter candidate,
 the one who's not a puppet for  Big Energy, Big Media, Big Oil, Big Tobacco,
 Big Telecom and Big Weapons Manufacturerswould've had a fair shot at winning,
 but you thought you'd kidnap the truth, shoot it in the head, throw it in the trunk of a car,
 drive it 30 miles out of town and bury it in a shallow grave near a bridge.

 Truth is, it was the Washington whore press corp, of which you're a member,
 that refused to ask the questions, refused to print the truth, and refused to play fair
 when you accused Al Gore of every lie he never told.

 ...and they give Pulitzers for whoring?


 Lanny the Stalker

 Lanny is terribly obsessed with this website.
 His obsession doesn't seem sexual, at least not yet.
 I have a lot of experience with stalkers (my sixth year) and Lanny seems to
 have BartCop Fever worse than any of the other stalkers who obsess here.

 He lives and breathes  bartcop.com  24/7 and feels compelled to write anyone who's been published.
 Then he sends them endless photos of himself saying, "Ain't I a handsome guy?"

 Of course, he could be The Bird, because he endlessly promotes the bird's website,
 and he also goes by Bubba something and he has another "L.K." identity, ...I forget.

 Please don't answer him and send a cc to me,
 because he'll answer you a dozen times and send cc's to me.

 It's very flattering to have so many stakers, ...I guess, ...but there are so many other
 anti-Pinhead-from-Texas sites on the www, I wish he'd branch out a little.

 Jacko's Odd, Awful Show
 That Michael Jackson. He's always innovating.

 Click  Here

 Instead of delivering the tight, well-paced performance an average star might, this mega-deity
 went a ground-breaking route by allowing his show to amble on with endless unexplained pauses,
 ballooning the entire night to a fascinatingly shapeless event of almost five hours.

Unsettled Scores
 Past as prelude: The economy’s in trouble, Gore is stirring
 and in Florida the ghosts of 2000 are returning to battle anew

 Click  Here

 Another Dowd-ish whore tries to figure out how The Fraud stole the White House.
 I'm getting pretty fed up with all this media hand-wringing.

 "How could this have happened?
   What went wrong?"

 A collective "Go to hell" to every one of you lazy sons of bitches.
 You had every opportunity, before and after the election - to play fair.

 You remained silent while the Bush Family Evil Empire claimed Smirk was competent.
 You remained silent on the Bush AWOL story.
 You remained silent on the cocaine issue.
 You remained silent on the arrest record of this empty-headed fraud.
 You remained silent about the fact he'd never worked a day in his life,
  and never got near a business deal that Daddy didn't set up for him.

 But you ran your mouth like a 12-year old girl when it came to Al Gore.
 You lied at every opportunity when you knew Gore was more honest and more qualified.
 When the truth wouldn't serve your needs, you bastards made shit up.
 You knew Al Gore would be boring, and you wanted to pad your precious bottom line.

 When the rapist started working on the window to the coed's dorm,
 you sons of bitches could've called the cops and stopped the crime.

 But you knew "Coeds Raped" would make a bigger headline than "Rapes prevented,"
 so you sat there and gave each other high-fives while the crime was going down.

 Everybody towed the line for the Bush Family Evil Empire for a better story.
 So take your "How could this happen?"horseshit and go screw yourselves.

 When I want reliable reporting, I turn to the Internet where the writers don't
 fabricate shit they know isn't true just to please their corporate whore masters.

From: jotho@optonline.net

Subject: Tequila

Though I've been drinking Tequila for about a year now, the prospect of paying 50 bucks
for the Chinaco always seemed a little daunting, and though i've seen shots of it in restaurants,
they were always 9-10 bucks....just couldn't do it.

Went out with my wife, sister, and her husband to a new restaurant last night and had to wait
at the bar for a bit.  Spotted the Chinaco Anejo and inquired about the price...the barkeep said
"about $5.50".  I jumped right on that.  He poures at least 2-2 1/2 oz. into a snifter.  Really great!

After dinner, went back to the bar...My brother-in-law was poured a shot of Chinaco about
3 fingers high...in a snifter!  I wanted to taste a different one and ended up with 3 fingers of
Herradura Anejo...in a snifter.  His wife had a capuccino.  Our bill?  $13.75...

Can you believe it...and in NY, too!   I preferred the Chinaco over the Herradura by the way
(the Chinaco being far smoother and less smoky-tasting...but was still very able to drink the Herradura),
and, so far Hussong's Reposado and the Chinaco are my favorite sippers.


I've been kidding about The Miracle at Canaan, but it's about to come true.
Herradura, Patron and others have a higher brand name recognition than Chinaco,
so those brands will run dry first. Once they're gone, the smart tequila drinker will ask
the spirits dealer what other brands he would recommend.

Then the Chinaco will disappear overnight, while people kick themselves, asking,
"Why did I waste my money on those lesser brands? Now I discover this
  superior delicacy just as fine luxury tequila is running its last lap?"

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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