POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
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Quotes:
"Funny how we learned a lot more
from Cheney talking to Russert
for an hour than we learned from
the president all week."
-- a woman in Tulsa
"That's because the President is a total
moron."
-- her busband
From: LisaClm@aol.com
Subject: Reagan Airport
The Ronald Reagan airport is still closed.
Now there is speculation it may never reopen.
QUICK...WE NEED TO FIND ANOTHER AIRPORT AND RENAME
IT.
Hurry Congress...this is important.
We cannot let this county go on without Ronald
Reagan's name on everything.
Just wait, they will rename another airport after Red-Ink Reagan if they cannot reopen the original.
Lisa
Meehan,
Neal raise doubts on Bush's "leadership"
by Andrew Miga
I've only heard this once, and Koresh knows
they ought not to repeat it, or Mr. Rove might
get very angry, but one TV guy said on
CNN that the number one thing that pisses off bin Laden
was that we landed troops in Suadi Arabia
in 1991 and "soiled their Holy Land forever."
If true, that would bring back into question
the Telex that the elected Bush sent to Saddam via
April Glaspie, which stated we'd stay out
of "their affairs." Saddam says he took Bush at his word,
proceeded to take back "Iraqi land from
the thieves of Kuwait."
Bush's bungle put 550,000 Americans in the
hot sand.
Hundreds died, but that's OK, because "Bush
knew what he was doing."
Tens of thousands contracted "Gulf War
Syndrome," but that's OK, too.
We've come to expect war and recession from Republican presidents.
"Are you
guys ready? Let's roll!" 
Click
Here
From: terry335@webtv.net
Subject: Medal Of Freedom
I've just read that Sen. Spector wants to give
the Medal Of Freedom award to
the passengers of the Pennsylvania crash. Shouldn't
we wait to make sure there
were no gays, liberals, feminists,or anyone else
the American Taliban hate on board?
How wrong can BartCop be?
Excerpt:
Kap said he told FBI investigators the
men in his bar spent
$200 to $300 apiece on lap dances and drinks,
paying with credit cards.
Celebrity Mail
From: Dr Dave at AMPOL
Subject: Just got off the phone with my bookie
Yo Bartcop!
You'll appreciate this -- I was just on the phone
with [him] in Vegas,
who is reviewing his political betting lines.
Last month, the odds of Il Smirk-é's reelection
were 7 to 5 FOR.
He is now pegging them at 7 to 5 AGAINST.
Dumb Son's F-scores and approval ratings may be
going up in Zogby-land,
but I trust my bookie more than any pollster.
Dave
War and recession - it's a guarantee with any
Republican.
Thanks, Dave.
Actress Yasmine Bleeth arrested
Excerpt:
He said Bleeth acted intoxicated while
the officers questioned her but
didn't appear to be under the influence
of alcohol. After she failed field
sobriety tests, they searched her purse
and discovered four syringes
containing what police suspect was a liquid
form of cocaine,
plus a small plastic bag containing cocaine
residue, Early said.
Syringes and liquid cocaine?
I thought they stayed thin thru exercise...
Bush's Image Fails to Fill the Screen
Quotes
Mayor Giuliani is doing a great job,
...and I can't believe I'm saying
that.
-- Democrats, repeating themselves in New York
What Can I Get You?
From www.RadioLeft.com
If you signed the petition asking President Bush to condemn the remarks
of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, please sign again.
If you signed and the validation failed, that has been fixed and you
will have to sign again.
Their petiton software had a bug in it, but now it's fixed.
The address of the petition is http://www.actionagenda.com/petitions
Don't let Falwell get away with saying "We deserve this because of the gays."
Plus, the 700 Club has asked for feedback.
Repeat: the 700 Club (Pat Roberston) has asked for feedback.
Four Daze
From the Secret Diary of Wednesday
From: neilrmurray@yahoo.com
Subject: Read This you Ignorant Prick
http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2001/09/14/afghanistan/index.html
...yeah, I'm the "ignorant prick" who wants to fight the mass murderers.
What the British are saying about W
Excerpt:
Clinton would have known how to find the
right beat, to have sensed the national mood
and addressed it. That almost supernatural
talent for empathy was his greatest political gift.
This week has proved that his successor,
though hailed for his affable, neighbour-at-the-barbecue
charm, has no such talent. He seems wooden,
unreflective and oddly out of tune with human emotion.
Small wonder that the secret service codename
for the Bush presidential zone is "the package".
They don't come much more packaged than
George W.
Quotes
"Airlines are expected to lose perhaps
$10 billion this year,
because passengers are staying
away in droves."
-- Lisa Stark on Sam & Cokie, who apparently has seen
Blazing Saddles so many times,
she mixed up her metaphors.
From: (withheld)
Subject: War is not the answer
BC,
While there is a moral difference between the
terrorists and the idiotic bombing
campaigns the US has been engaged in the past
10 years, it's not as large as you might think.
We didn't TARGET civilians, but Clinton sure
didn't take them into consideration
when he was recklessly lobbing missiles and creating
a new generation of terrorists.
That is crazy talk.
There's not much difference between bin Laden's terrorists and Bill
Clinton?
Doesn't anybody read what they've written before they press "send"
anymore?
This war fever is out of hand. All the high
tech-toys in the world aren't going to beat guerrillas willing
to die for their cause, who are indistinguishable
from the native population that supports them.
This business about "glassing" Afghanistan is
absurd. Sure you might kill the heads of the Taliban,
but you'll also be creating another generation
of kids who saw their families die at the hands of
Americans and will do anything to get their revenge.
Even if you kill every known terrorist in the world,
twice as many will be ready to take their places.
Again, we hear what the answer is not.
To not answer an attack this deadly is surrender.
How is it possible my mail is running 4-1 for the doves?
Are Democrats not willing to fight for anything?
If 5,000 dead doesn't piss you off, would 50,000 dead?
If they murdered the entire population of New York - would that
be worth fighting for?
If they murdered everyone in New York, Boston, Philly and DC, would
that be worth fighting for?
Did the people on that Pittsburgh flight surrender?
No, they didn't, and they probably saved the Capitol.
Doesn't that mean anything to anybody?
Were they stupid to go down fighting, instead of surrendering to the
hijackers?
Suggestion:
You doves get together, maybe on the forum, and choose somebody to
speak for you in a big debate,
somebody who can present the "don't fight back" point of view so we
can talk this out.
While your attention was diverted:
The
economy ground to a halt in August
Industrial activity plunged in August, extending what is now the
longest decline in
factory output in three decades. The
discouraging economic news intensified fears
that the ailing economy shaken by the terrorist attack could
tip into recession.
From: dogfolks@cape.com
Subject: PA Plane was shot down?
Bart,
I heard one minuscule report on MSNBC that had
witnesses in PA who said
they saw an F-16 in the sky just before the PA
plane crashed.
Now, my husband has told me that somebody who's
related to someone where
he works is a low level Canadian intelligence
guy. Word from there is
that the PA plane WAS DEFINITELY shot down.
Why is the whore press off this story? The people
on the plane are still heroes.
How do we know they didn't even signal the pilot
in the F-16 to go ahead and shoot?
That would be heroism on a scale none of us could
even imagine.
Anne
Anne, they say they didn't, and I believe them. But then again, I've
become
"a Bush toady who's worse than the hijackers,"
so don't go by me.
From: sstark@etigers.net
Subject: Re: Ari Fleisher's Claim
I've had the same feeling that you and Nick Seidenman
have, even though I lack any expertise in aviation:
Ari and this White House have lied to us (about
the credible threats to the White House and AF1)
to cover for perceived cowardess by the president.
Trouble is, I didn't think he was a coward Tuesday,
just following security protocol during a time of
national emergency. Yes, I thought it was
a bit strange to send a woman out to speak, but then I had
already heard from W at that time, and he was
far from comforting.
My main point is: Don't lie to me or the
rest of the American public. We aren't stupid. We understood
the need for protecting the President. The only
reason to lie was for political spin. To protect their political
asses.
Well, I don't like their political asses; they
are foul and smelly.
My message to the White House: I love my
country and will support the war on terrorism.
But don't lie to me.
I'll remember.
Steve
Steve, we should remember the Bush administration's first action was
to fabricate horrible personal slurs
about how the Clintons vandalized the White House and stripped Air
Force One bare.
Remember how Ari and the Bush-worshipping press treated this story?
I don't trust the illegal Bush administrtion,
but I believe they didn't shoot down the PA plane.
I think those brave people made their own sacrifice.
They refused to go down without a fight.
I wish we had more people like that.
NBC's Jay
and Conan Will Try to Yuck It Up Again on Tuesday
As of late Friday, Dave has not made a decision as to when he will
return.
Dave has it tougher than the others, being in New York,
but Dave is tough - he can handle this.
From: Jennifer in Cincinnati
Subject: An Invitation
Hey bartcop,
I've been reading your column Koresh-ly ever
since the Coup of 2000, and turned to you
once again on 9/11/2001, knowing you'd provide
a calming effect and safe harbor
from the hysteria that surrounds us at this horrible,
horrible time.
I'm a bartender at one of the most popular watering
holes of Cincinnati, Ohio, and it's been
a rough couple of days for me. Everyone
knows that I'm the resident "politik" as I couldn't keep
my wise-crackin' drink-slingin' ass from letting
my patrons know exactly how I feel about the Chimp King.
Since Tuesday, I've had to deal with just about
every negative comment I could possibly imagine,
including outright blame, as if my smartass comments
since last November somehow caused the
World Trade Centers to collapse. Oh, Koresh,
if only I had such power. My only comfort has come
in the the sobering fact that these insults have
come attached to a Washington or Lincoln note.
I can't believe people can condemn and tip me
at the same time, but hey, ain't that America?
This is an invitation for you to visit my fine
city, wherein I will be pleased to pour for you the tequila
of your choice (do you require training wheels?)
while you sling your barbs of wit and intelligence
at my beloved customers. It's a standing
invitation and I'll be waiting for you, mixing tin in one hand
whether you prefer your Mexican spirits chilled
or not.
Ask not what you can do for your country.
Ask what you can do to keep America's bartenders
sane and witty.
Jennifer in Cincinnati
Jennifer,
I think they're condemning and respecting at the
same time.
You could've just agreed with every customer,
but that would've been fake.
People don't want to be lied to right now.
That was nice.
It makes me want to drive to Cincinnati.
I'll e-mail you before I come :)
The Pennsylvania Crash
Searchers
Find Plane Cockpit Voice Recorder
Excerpt:
Senator Specter said he was looking into
the possibility of posthumously
awarding the passengers the Medal of Freedom
.
"They undoubtedly saved hundreds, if not thousands,
of lives," Governor Ridge said.
"What appears to be a charred hole in the ground
is truly a monument to heroism."
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
