POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT
Promise a young man that death is not the end
and he will willingly cause disaster
not written by BartCop
Could we get some otherwise normal humans and somehow persuade them that
they are not going to die as a consequence of flying a plane smack into a skyscraper?
If only! Nobody is that stupid, but how about this - it's a long shot, but it just might work.
Given that they are certainly going to die, couldn't we sucker them into believing that they
are going to come to life again afterwards?
Don't be daft! No, listen, it might work. Offer
them a fast track to a Great Oasis in the Sky,
cooled by everlasting fountains. Harps and wings wouldn't appeal to the sort of young men we need,
so tell them there's a special martyr's reward of 72 virgin brides, guaranteed eager and exclusive.
Would they fall for it? Yes, testosterone-sodden
young men too unattractive to get a woman
in this world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next.
It's a tall story, but worth a try. You'd have
to get them young, though.
Feed them a complete and self-consistent background mythology to make the big lie sound plausible when it comes.
Give them a holy book and make them learn it by heart. Do you know, I really think it might work.
As luck would have it, we have just the thing to hand: a ready-made system of mind-control which
has been honed over centuries, handed down through generations. Millions of people have been brought up in it.
It is called religion
Mostly doves and defectors
Tales of the Aftermath.
President Bush Comes To Town.
by Ray Berry
Ann Coulter has written:
"We should invade their countries, kill their
leaders and convert them to Christianity.
We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers.
We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."
Except for the Christian part, that could have
been you writing.
Maybe you were wrong about Ann Coulter, she isn't a whore after all.
...another dove, with another request that we surrender?
If freedom's not worth fighting for - what is?
...are you Catholic?
And even tho your keen political sense tells you Ann Coulter and I are
I have never blown a clown for free french fries.
Subject: Bush Threatens Suicide!
President Bush assured a country wounded by terrorism
on Friday that
America would meet its "responsibility to history" and "rid the world of evil."
Sounds like a suicide threat to me.
than Ann Coulter
by John Derbyshire
Suppose this had happened on Bill Clinton's watch.
The following interesting questions come to mind.
(1) What shade of yellow would his face have been on September 11th?
(2) How many world sprint records would he have broken heading for the nearest bunker?
(3) Does the President's Secret Service bodyguard carry a change of presidential underpants?
Amazing - his president runs away from his duty and his
and all Derbyshore can say is, "Clinton is the real coward..."
When did Clinton run from anything?
Isn't this Derbyshire the same son of a bitch who called for Chelsea
Clinton to be murdered?
Because she was the "demon seed of two monsters?"
He should have a job with
I'm surprised he hasn't won a Pulitzer, ...like Maureen Dowd.
Ten things you can do right now
PS. Be sure and get permission from the doves.
You want to talk about pink tutus?
Checked out your chat board lately?
>It's All Our Fault.
>If we just changed everything we do, they'd
stop being mad at us and go away.
>If we go after them, poor, innocent civilians might get killed, and killing is wrong.
>Two wrongs don't make a right.
I might not go so far as "glass", bc, but I'd
like to see
someone open a can of whoopass, instead of a can of dumbass.
Fight back? It will be tough to do, and it won't
But it must *be*.
This stuff about all civil liberties disappearing
is like chicken little.
As far as I'm concerned, giving up my God-given right to curbside check in isn't rending
the Constitution in twain. I think Joe Conason's current piece in Salon is right on the mark.
Yes, if we sacrifice the Constitution, the terrorists
This isn't, however, an all or nothing situation: vigilance both for our safety and for our rights can coexist.
I just don't understand where all this begging
not to fight back is coming from, but it's pretty distressing.
And I'm an old hellnowewontgo girl.
I just wish we had a competent President.
I'll be watching for an explanation, bc :-)
I'm surprised the "Let's surrender" lobby is so strong.
from Rich in NY
Russert: Dick Cheney for the whole hour
Sam & Cokie: Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, CLINTON, NYSE chairman
Scheiffer: Powell, Colin, CLINTON, Schumer, Shelby, Biden and Hagel
Wolf: Powell, Gephardt, Pataki
Fox: Rumsfeld and 40 others
by Tally Briggs
BREAKING NEWS from CNN.com
Suspected Washington hijacker met with suspect in USS Cole bombing.
Subject: STINKING DOVE: You've Lost It This Week.
I'm so damn embarrassed.
I just sent a couple of people over to your site
...telling them it was an Oasis in the middle of the pond scum called Media News.
And off you go....when it comes to violence and
war...you're such a unreasonable hawk
that I need to take a break from you. You are entitled to your opinion, duh. It's your site.
But it's so jarring to see someone with your "other"
views, go ape shit over bombing,
slaughtering and killing innocent civilians. Like the average dirt poor beaten down
Afghanistan even knows what the eff the Taliban is doing. Jesus Stinkin' Christ.
My best guess is you think that using the term
"Glass them" means I want every
innocent child in every undeveloped country burned and tortured for the fun of it.
I knew it was getting bad...but when I open up
BC and see a freakin quote from Bush,
then I know we're in trouble. You get so damn patriotic you fall lock step into the whole
LET"S KILL EM ALL routine because of the tragedy suffered here.
You use odd words.
You say I'm "in lock step with Bush?"
I had my opinions long before I knew there was a smirk named GW Bush.
According to every account, America is about 9-1
on swift retaliation.
However, my mail is running 4-1, "Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya, instead."
That puzzles the shit outta me.
Since these are extreme times, let me use an extreme
If someone stole one of your kids, would you fight to get him back?
Or would that be too much like, "sinking to their level?"
Put another way - is there ANYTHING
worth fighting for?
Reading your mail, I'm guessing your answer is no.
...have you ever worked for a House Democrat?
Is your maiden name "Leahy?"
Send out the alert when you get off your "I don't
give a shit about killing starving, beaten, impoverished,
no radio, no newspaper, no tv, no life, no nothing, women and children in Stone Age Afghanistan" rant.
Meanwhile, I get to tell those who I sent to your
site, "no really, he doesn't always scream Bush quotes
in his first line", and "no really, he doesn't always talk about death to all who fuck with America".
Christ. Fucking Bush quote. Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. Talk about a turning point.
Christine, unlike most Democrats, I fight for what I believe in.
Like every other dove who I've been able to read,
you've failed to suggest any course of action beyond surrender.
I won't surrender, I don't care if my mail runs 100-1 for surrender.
You got one thing right, tho...
"Death to all who fuck with America."
Yeah, I want every one of those murdering sons of bitches dead.
...and you want me to "send an alert" when I come to my senses?
...anyway, thanks for not holding back,
Have you considered focusing some of your fury on the bad guys?
More condemnation of that idiot Falwell
Subject: stimulating the economy
I just heard on CNN that congress is considering
how to stimulate the economy
so it can survive the terrorist attack (how about surviving total destruction by the
First Moron without any help from the terrorists?)
The republicans, the reporter said, favors cuts
in the capital gains tax.
Why doesn't it surprise me that the Republicans would try to line their pockets during this crisis?
The Democrats want to send out another round of tax advance checks.
I think everyone has gone insane.
"Mayor Giuliani and I have worked closely
with President Bush,
and we have seen his human side."
-- Gov Pataki, live 6:53 PM NY time
were near WTC
Senators anxious, then girls located
Jessica Schumer, 16, daughter of Chuck Schumer,
and and Chelsea Clinton, 21, were both missing
for two hours after the attack.
Jessica Schumer was only a couple of blocks from the World Trade
and Chelsea was about 12 blocks away, headed to the Met Life Building.
"They couldn't find Jessica for about two hours," a Schumer spokesman said.
Chelsea Clinton turned a corner, saw a cloud of black smoke and heard
"She ran like every other New Yorker in the area," said Clinton spokeswoman Julia Payner.
By the time Chelsea Clinton made it to safety — and found a phone
— two hours had passed.
"You can't imagine how relieved the President was to hear her voice," Payne said.
by David Friedrichs
"The people who knocked these buildings
down are going to hear from us soon.
This war began under their timetable, it will end at an hour of our choosing."
-- George W Bush,
Small Town X Winner Missing in Rubble
After winning $250,000 on national TV earlier this month for solving
murder mystery, Angel Juarbe returned to his job at Ladder Co. 12 in Chelsea.
According to reports, Juarbe was on the phone Tuesday morning
at his station house when the call to respond came in.
"I gotta go. I have to go to the World Trade Center," he said.
Juarbe was 35.
Subject: From the netherlands...
Just want you to know, people all over the world
are scared shitless for the US reaction on the tragedy.
I surely hope you'll keep your heads cool, and don't just start bombing the hell out of complete countries.
Dragging the whole earth into a war out of control is not the solution.
I believe the US never had so many allies as today.
This is the time one has to be the wisest.
Start playing a constructive role in the world, instead of only reacting when own interests are at stake.
A couple of months ago, even moderate places as the Netherlands started to get annoyed (at the least)
about the US role in international affairs. This weeks disaster turned that all around.
Even previous "not so friendly" nations close ranks alongside the US against international terrorism.
Welcome to the rest of the world.
This all is not a matter of revenge. This is a
Think of it as Karma. Do good and good will be done to you.
Don't get me wrong, these people should be brought
I too am angry. And I am scared for more bloodshed and more violence.
Things could easily get out of control. Big time. But what scares me the most
is when even Bartcop starts calling for revenge, war and "Glass them" (meaning what exactly?)
What the hell must the right-wing nuts in charge think at this moment?
Jeroen, good letter.
I'm getting lots of mail telling me what the solution isn't.
You are right to be scared - a very bloody war has started.
It's a war we can't afford to lose.
I want the response to be terrible and swift.
The day should be over when it's OK to hit the United States.
I've been to the right of this administration on military matters.
I thought Bush acted like a snot-nosed punk when he allowed China
to attack our plane and then hold our people as hostages
What did Bush do?
He apologized, then said he was "sorry,"
and then, "very, very sorry."
Then he let NBC sign a billion-dollar contract to fund China's 17-day commercial in 2008.
...but then again, his family is much closer to China than the bin Ladens.
terrorists are Muslims just like
Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson are Christians.
Subject: What manner of (wo) men
An e-friend and I were discussing the rescue workers
He said no one should screw with a city and country which produces people like that. I answered --
Yes indeed. We started off by kicking the ass
of a world empire. We walked across a continent.
We endured and survived appalling slavery. We endured and survived near genocide. We fought for,
won and held onto our basic human and civil rights. We fought with each other in some of the bloodiest
battles in history, then forgave one another. We built bridges, railroads, skyscrapers and star ships,
the DC-3 and the internet, we've sailed under the polar icecap, walked on the moon and sent the
world's music to the stars, we freed and fed mulititudes, we revolutionized 20thC music and dance,
we made the first technological art form - the movies.
While we were doing all that, we created the first
free, open heterogeneous society in history.
It'll take more than those crazied SOBs to slow us down.
This is where you are heading, BC.
The differences between you and these characters are of degree and focus, not of kind.
Too many of us have come to rely on you for what little truth and sanity can be found in news commentary these days.
We all understand and agree with where your heart is, but please start using your head again. We need you
Those aren't "characters."
That cartoon depicts Israel welcoming America to the bloody war that we must win.
Like other "dove" e-mail I'm getting, you have failed to offer a solution.
I suggest we step on those roaches responsible.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.