POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT
Breaking News from NBC
Osama bin Laden called his mother two
days before the Sept. 11 terror attacks and told her,
"In two days you're going to hear big news and you're not going to hear from me for a while,"
-- NBC News is broadcasting.
I believe his mother lives in Boston.
Isn't it strange he'd hijack a plane from his Mama's town?
I'll bet Mrs. bin Laden is more ashamed than Barbara Bush.
Subject: Bush and Responsibility
Bart just thinking
in the US navy when a Captain says "I relieve you," on board a ship then from that moment on
he is responsible for every action that takes place on board. This idea is the idea of RESPONSIBILTY.
If you attempt to place blame on the prior Commanding
Officer it just shows your lack of being able
to handle the job. Now if Bush is our commander in chief, (he did relieve clinton) then how come he is
blaming everything on the past administration?
I guess he didn't learn anything from his hiding in the National Guard.
Karl, I agree.
Going AWOL didn't teach Usurper Boy anything but Spanish.
I just talked to Julie.
She said she had the best time last night.
She asked me to thank everyone who participated.
She wants to do it again - soon.
Subject: Chinaco question
I received my issue of Outside magazine
this month with it's " best of " lists.
I saw tequila listed so I thumbed hurriedly to the page and found.......that they listed Chinaco as the best!
To my surprise though it was the Repasado and not the Anejo.
I guess I'll just have to do some tastings for further review. :>)
I've been enjoying the Anejo on
days when I'm not indulging in Grey Goose.
What is your opinion of the Repasado?
JB, I don't think I've ever had any.
I bought a shot of the Blanco at a restaurant once and didn't like it.
I'll try a shot Reposado if I can find it, but I won't buy a bottle :)
...but anyone who says the Reposado is better than the Anejo needs to see a doctor.
Clinton Disbarred From Supreme Court
The Whore Court of partisan thugs opened
its new term Monday with a rebuke of
America's last elected president, suspending him from practicing law before the justices.
Clinton was among 18 lawyers nationwide who got the same discipline.
The justices gave Clinton 40 days to say
why he should not be permanently disbarred
from practicing law before them. A Clinton lawyer said the former president would
argue that high court disbarment would be inappropriate.
Wait, Bill, let me handle this for you:
Dear Partisan Whores,
I wouldn't stoop so low as to practice before your nasty-asses.
You have proven again and again that you are nothing but dirty whores for sale.
I have no desire to appear before cheap partisan prostitutes who are wholly owned
by Ted Olson, Karl Rove and the Bush Family Evil Empire.
Everyone knows impeachment was a never-ending
search inside my zipper and you
intentionally (and without regard to the law or legal precedent) ruled for every wild-ass
crazy motion that Hardon Kenny filed just so you could join in the GOP's Cock Hunt.
You have lost your standing with the
American people and cannot appear in public without
a battallion of bodyguards because your glaring allegiance to Usurper Boy is appalling.
Anyone who had the slightest doubt about
your naked partisanship was set straight when
that thug Scalia ruled that counting the Florida votes would cause harm to the Boy King.
Before you sons of bitches tossed the Constitution, this was a nation where the voters got to
choose their leaders, but your insatiable greed has turned a peaceful and prosperous nation
into a nation facing war and recession - which is heartless Reagan-Bush voodoo all over again.
Tell me, did you buy short futures on America, just like bin Laden?
In short, I wear your condemnation as
a badge of honor.
You crooks were in on the fix from the beginning, and America knows it.
William J. Clinton
America's last elected president
Subject: Re: Executive Order Suspends Due Process in Property Seizure
In response to the e-mail you posted from JSwandesh@aol.com
in Monday's issue:
Seizure and forfeiture of money and property without due process have been carried out for years
in the War on Some Drugs. Now we have it simply being extended to suspected terrorists.
I'm not saying it's right, because it isn't.
What I'm saying is: If our Congressmen were willing to trample the
Fifth Amendment (which they took an oath to uphold) in the War on Some
Drugs, it should not surprise us that they're willing to do so in the current
climate. As Americans, we've continued to elect people who care more
about their own popularity than they do about rights and freedoms.
Oftentimes, neither the Democrat nor the Republican candidate give a rat's
ass about our civil liberties.
It may sound trite, but we need to stop reelecting these people!
Mike, we didn't elect Usurper Boy.
The whore court fixed the election and appointed the Constitution-trampling moron
over the wishes of the American voters.
Does Robert Rubin read bartcop.com?
Or did he just borrow from The BartCop Tax Plan?
To increase demand, the most effective measures would be tax rebates to
low and middle-income working people — including those who pay Social
Security taxes but not income taxes — who have the highest propensity to spend.
The propensity may be even greater in the runup to Christmas.
>Rebate $1500 to every taxpayer two weeks before Thanksgiving.
>Rebate 10% of any income, for a total of $1500.
>Families with two workers could get $3000.
>If Dad, Mom and two teenagers are paying taxes on $15,000 or more,
>the family would get a rebate of $6,000 from the federal government.
>Every person with income qualifies.
>Retired people, people on Social Security - anybody with taxable income.
>What could be more fair?
>Think of the economic benefit.
>It would be the best Christmas ever for millions of families.
But the GOP doesn't like my plan because there's nothing in it for BIG OIL.
Subject: Supreme Hypocrisy
How about the grand hypocrisy of the US Supreme Court disbarring Clinton?
Here we have a US governmental institution, who through personal greed and corruption,
opted to destroy democracy in America, voting out the last legally elected President of the USA.
My nausea knows no bounds...
From this, perhaps we will never recover, to paraphrase Mayor Giulliani...
Everyone in New York is turning patriotic.
Today I went into Rupert G's restaurant and ordered
takeout soup, and when I got it back to my desk, the cockroaches had spelled out, "USA."
Big News RB Ham has his own web page now
WEB SITE COMING OUT PARTY!!!
A figurative shot of Chinaco for everyone!
This is good for several reasons.
RB Ham is not only a good writer, but he's always finding fun links
and interesting stuff and I haven't been able to get all of it in print.
Sometimes he'll send a half-dozen articles a day.
He puts out the equivalent of an issue a day,
so this way, they can all seen and read by dozens!
Welcome aboard, RB Ham!
I'm going to redesign this page to make room for Julie's banner,
and I'll include your banner to, Mr. Ham, but if anyone has some
good ideas about a new look for bartcop.com send them in.
Don't get all fancy with tables and java
and every other damn thing I don't understand.
I'm just looking for some slick buttons or whatever - can you help an old altarboy out?
If your send something, sent it as an attached html file.
The job pays nothing, but it'll get you
a mention and maybe some paying customers
need a web page so this would be good advertising for your design company.
Remember - bartcop.com is read by dozens
Two world views result in smashed towers and torn-up freedoms.
By Bryan Zepp Jamieson
Open Letter to Religio-Crazies
The next time you nutty bastards wants to make a political statement,
don't kidnap a planeload of innocents and murder everyone, OK?
I have an idea that will give you lots of TV coverage and maybe
even some sympathy.
Instead of murdering a bunch of women and children, why not have a fellow religio-crazy
get a camcorder and follow you to Times Square where you can douse yourself with gasoline
and your buddy can film your dying ass and the tape will make the evening news, trust me.
Matter of fact, for guaranteed 24/7 cable-saturation, wear a sign
O'Reilly and Hannity and every whore at will run it non-stop for weeks.
...and if you find out you're a person short, since somebody needs
to work the camera and you'll
be busy dousing your soon-to-be-dead ass with gasoline, if you need someone to flick the match
I have a feeling you can find plenty of volunteers on the streets of New York.
...no need to thank me for the idea - it's a gift.
Gebhardt faces heat over kissing Bush's ass
One thing is certain - Gephardt will never be president.
Well, not as a Democrat, anyway...
"We're likely to experience more restrictions
on our personal freedom
than has ever been the case in our country."
-- Sandra "screw-the-voters" Day O'Connor, right-wing partisan judge-for-sale
who has the power to restrict those freedoms, and anything else Mr Rove orders.
Live chat with Julie Hiatt Steele
Everyone was on their good behavior.
I'd like to thank Northernair
Lodge of Ely, MN for a $120
to go towards the purchase of Julie Hiatt's Steele's computer.
Feedback from the JHS Chat
Subject: Sunday Lapping Over Into Monday
Had a great time, til the kid's bath/hair-washing
routine intervened (a little past 10:30pm [cdt]
---quite accustomed to translating another time zone into where I reside after all these years...LOL).
Hope Julie wasn't too swamped with phrases, names & questions.
It was the most fun I've had on a Sunday evening
since I attended a mass-baptism in the
swimming pool at Pat Boone's house, back in '72.
(Pat was 'dis-fellowshipped' over it...but, as a nice backwoods,
eyetalian-catholic girl, the terminology was all very new to me - then).
I had a great time (and Sunday evening has been redeemed, finally).
Marty runs the fun-as-hell
Speaking of Entertainment, I'll never catch up, so let me say this:
Enterprise looks like a winner. The premier was a solid "good,"
which is for the best because they'll have a seven-year run.
Mrs. BartCop has never like Scott Bakula, but likes him in this.
Law and Order wasn't as good. The cast just seemed older,
and they had a dreadful show about dogs eating dogs.
And that new girl is no Angie Harmon.
Friends was actually funny - breaking the "had all summer" curse.
CSI is always good, but I fell asleep during The Agency (eyeache)
By the way, on ER, did they arrest Mark Green for murder and throw his boring ass in jail?
Dark Angel is back, looking better than ever, but this year she's chasing some
Republican-looking Cro-Mags which is really hard to watch - bad move, Jimmy.
I liked Thieves. It's another Moonlighting, which was good in its prime
We taped Pasadena, but they say it really blows.
One of the best shows is Alias, with that babe (Jennifer Garner) in the red hair!
I missed the end, due to the JHS chat, but I saw that one part where
the bad guy was pulling her teeth out, trying to get her to tell a secret,
then she pretended to break and said, "Ok, I'll tell you who I work for.
The name of the organization is 'EMETIB,' but you have to read it backwards."
That's my girl! It's almost like they read bartcop.com
Critics say Alias is the best of the new shows, so check it out.
Also, they had the balls to show it without commercials, (and at 69 minutes!)
That means ABC is behind the show 100 percent - and did I mention she was a babe?
I asked Mrs. BartCop if she could buy a red wig like that and she threw her shoe at me.
I'd better check out Marty's Entertainment page and see what others are saying...
Security is tight everywhere. At the
K-Mart kiddie plane ride,
kids have to arrive three hours early and show identification.
-- Jay Leno
Subject: Freeze the accounts of George W Bush & the Oil whores
According to the new rules set, any organization
or family involved in business with Bin Lades's must be
suspected & their U.S. accouts should be siezed... And on Bartcop I learnt that the B's had biz dealings
with the Suspected terrorist BinLaden. Law is law and should apply to every one. What do u say BC???
No crime family on Earth has a global reach like the Bush Family Evil Empire.
US denies commandos grabbed as covert "war" heats up
George W. Bush said Saturday his country's covert war in Afghanistan was heating up,
while US officials denied a report that bin Laden's men had grabbed US commandos on a spy mission.
We can't trust the government to tell us about special forces casualties.
The hyperventilated spin began the morning after the attacks. To deflect criticism that the administration
had been without any commanding and reassuring Giuliani-like voice for 10 hours, as the president and
other high- level officials scrambled around, Karl Rove and Mr. Fleischer pushed the spurious and
elaborately embroidered stories that the White House and Air Force One were also intended targets.
Such big, lame inventions undermine our trust, just as the Bush team starts to do a lot fast and in secret.
The chief of staff, Andy Card, has instructed
the whole White House to stop speaking to reporters,
so that the chosen few can spoon-feed the press the image of an In-Charge, Focused, Resolute President.
Isn't that funny?
MoDo, acting like she's all about honesty and the truth?
Woman, you've been holding Smirk's spoon for two long years.
Stop acting like you've ever determined the meaning of the word "honesty."
You see, Mo, "honesty" and "whoring" are not the same thing.
You've got a lot of nerve, on your high horse, talking about honesty and spin.
Mo, why don't you fabricate a bridal registry story about Pickles?
Or do you have a rule against repeating fabricated slurs?
Subject: Safe and Sound
You are absolutely correct sir!
I listened to every minute of the Tribute to Heroes
and at the end of the night
I was telling everyone: for me the highlight of the show was Sheryl Crow,
who prior to that I hardly knew but as a result of it I am now a huge fan.
Clearly, your taste in music is as astute as yout
instinct for politics!
I know a lot of people who are screaming at their computers right
I'll bet Rich in NY has to buy a new monitor...
Yeah, people in New York are bending
over backward to be nice to each other after the tragedy.
Today I saw a store clerk helping a shoplifter out to the car with her bags.
-- David Letterman
SULLIVAN: TRAITOR TO DECENCY
Right-Wing Figure Lies Without Shame to Blame Bill Clinton for Terror
"Stab in the Back" Maneuver Out of Goebbels Playbook
Will Decent Americans Finally Shun Perverter of Truth?
OK Andrew: let's break these lies down.
Who commissioned the Hart-Rudman report? Bill Clinton
Who, in advance of that report, addressed the UN on the specific dangers of terrorism? Bill Clinton
Who, the same day as Clinton made his address,
furiously advanced the phony partisan charges against
the president, and tried to change the subject away from terrorism and back to Monica Lewinsky?
You, Andrew Sullivan, among many others.
JQ at Mediawhoresonline.com
has become one of the best writers on the www,
and her page is one of the most important, too. Way to go, JQ!
OF SMIRK'S 9/23/01 EXECUTIVE ORDER
by Joe Weber, Esq.
Here's a rough translation:
With some exception, all property and interests
in property of the following persons that are
in the U.S. now or later or come into the possession or control of U.S. persons are "blocked":
a) foreign persons listed in the "Annex" (list) to this order (not included in your doc);
b) foreign persons determined by Colin Powell, in consultation with Paul O'Neill and Asscroft,
to have committed or pose a significant risk of committing, acts of terrorism that threaten the
security of U.S. nationals or the national security, foreign policy, or economy of the U.S.;
c) persons determined by O'Neill in consultation with Powell and Asscroft to be owned or
controlled by or acting for those on the "Annex list";
If anyone helps or the above-named THINK they
may be helping designated "bad guys", then their stuff
gets seized too. Anyone who does business, even indirectly with bad guys is in trouble too. This means people
and business entities like corps and partnerships, and includes donations. O'Neill in consultation with Powell and
Asscroft may take "other actions" just like the President can, if "consistent with the national interests of the U.S..."
Powell and O'Neill should cooperate with other
countries in all this. O'Neill, in consultation with Powell and Asscroft,
can make up lots of regulations (with force of law) to make this all happen. All government agencies gotta cooperate.
The government and the individuals involved in all this are quite immune from most claims against them.
Because things move instantaneously and this is
a "national emergency",
the bad guys, or those deemed to be bad guys, don't get notice before any seizure or control.
The problem: The definitions of "terrorist"
and "against U.S. interests" are so broad that anyone this crews
designates as a threat can have their assets frozen or seized. Even though that person may be a U.S. citizen,
they are still subject to this order. Political opponents, vocal minorities, and even Treehouse Owners could
be subject to this order.
-Joe Weber, Esq.
Costa Mesa, CA
Joe, thanks for that.
That's kinda what I thought it meant.
did the Republicans whine about
every time Bill Clinton used troops?
Reminder: Clinton never sent a man into battle who didn't come home.
1. You need to have clearly defined goals.
2. You need to show us a beginning and an ending.
3. You must have an exit strategy.
4. You must display overwhelming force.
Do we see any of that in today's Bush bungling?
Powell: We will show you the evidence.
Bush: We will not - that's a secret.
Bush: We will destroy terra wherever
Powell: We are only looking for bin Laden
So, ...all we're going to be told is:
That this will be damn expensive.
They can't tell us what the Bush Family Evil Empire is doing with our billions.
Don't expect any quick results.
Since it's so secret, THEY will define victory, since only they know what they're doing.
Remember what Bush said in the big speech? "We will have secret victories," which means
they'll claim, "We are winning," even when they're not.
I saw a headline Saturday: "US in 'hot pursuit' of terrorists"
What does that mean?
What's the difference between "hot pursuit" and "the hunt continues?"
Meanwhile, Karl Rove is America's de facto news
editor, picking and choosing
which coverage is "patriotic" and which is "a comfort to the enemy.".
courtesy The Wizard of Whimsy
"That was the most abominable thing I've ever
heard. It makes you wonder
if Falwell and Roberson are worshipping the same God as the people
who bombed the Trade Center and the Pentagon."
-- Walter Cronkite in the new TV Guide
Subject: two unrelated things
#1) I just watched all the fans at Yankee Stadium
give Cal Ripken a standing ovation.
Cal just struck out on what is probably going to be his last ever at bat there.
That was pretty damn cool.
When have you ever seen any player get a standing
O after a strike out from the opposing team's crowd?
But then again, Cal isn't just 'any player'.
Who said New Yorkers have no class?
#2) Have you noticed that we haven't heard a damn
thing from Ralph Nader since the terrorist attack?
I'll admit, I voted for him last time around, I really thought he'd be a viable alternative to Gore
and that the elections wouldn't be so close. Now, here we are in desperate need to confident leadership,
and the President has spoken, the Resident has spoken, even the Big Dog has spoken.
But not a thing from the greens. Frankly, I'm embarassed - and the Dems are starting to regain my confidence
in them (even though I'm not too pleased when them giving Smirk a free pass in this crisis). Who knows?
There's still hope yet. But not a peep from the Greens - and I should know, I'm on their mailing list.
I've gotten more literature from the Revolutionary Communist Party of America than from the Greens.
#1) Cal is the man.
New Yorkers know class when they see it.
#2) Ralph is not the man.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.