POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT
Mrs. BartCop on the Oregon Coast, 1998
I'm mad as hell that the dumbass in the White House is there illegally.
I'm mad as hell that the Democrats in the House and Senate that I help elected,
are rolling over and pissing on themselves because of those fascist bastard Repubs.
They will let them do anything they want. WHY??? What the hell is up???
Klayman is all over the Bush Family Evil Empire
At least he claims he is...
What could help Bush more than Klayman claiming "I have proof?"
Subject: news bits
when, five days after the attack, this scrolled at the bottom of the screen
but was never mentioned otherwise: "Israeli Mossad announced in London
today that they warned US of attacks"?
Later it appeared in watered down newspaper articles on the back page and was mildly refuted.
OK, today on MSNBC, scrolling at the bottom:
"U.S. Special Forces captured in Afghanistan".
What would seem to be the biggest story since September 11th, I have not heard mentioned otherwise
It scrolled once, then gone.
night a biography of Laura Bush. The fatal accident:
"Two days after her 17th birthday she sped through a stop sign and collided with...
His injuries, a broken neck, proved fatal. Authorities in Midland later determined that she was not at fault."
More good old boy stuff? Wonder if she'd been black or hispanic? A QUICK HANGING!?
Where is Rack?
Rueters is running the "Americans
captured" story, I got it from them.
Maybe Mr. Rove called Jack Welch and said, "Get that truth off your network,"
and needs-a-tax-cut Welch replied, "Gotcha, Boss."
Pickles was "dating" the victim, so it must've been her pre-Smirkian period.
But then again, when daddy is running the CIA, is there anything we can take at face value?
Can't say, but whenever Rack disappears, he comes back better a few days later.
Safe and Sound
Did you tape the Tribute to Heroes special last Friday?
Of course you did. You own a VCR, and 6-hour tapes are less than a dollar each,
so it only cost you 33 cents to tape that show, so you have a copy, right?
I thought so at the time, and after a few listens I'm convinced,
the best song
of the night, music-wise, was Sheryl Crow's Safe and Sound.
If I find out she wrote that between the 11th and that Friday,
I'm going to nominate her for some special Grammy or something.
Go back and listen to that spooky, haunting thing she has going
monotone pulsing along when she is almost whispering, "Safe and Sound..."
The lyrics are mostly just two tones, and the chorus is all the same note,
except for an octave change for the first half of "sound...".
The song is as simple as our president, but in this case - it works.
When they release that night on CD, go ahead and buy a copy,
instead of getting it from Limewire or your friend's CD writer.
To help raise some money, sure, but Safe and Sound is just a nice bonus.
"Everybody hates death, fears death. But only
those, the believers
who know the life after death and the reward after death,
would be the ones who will be seeking death."
-- Hijacker Mohamed Atta, explaining the reality of the afterlife
Taliban: bin Laden Under Our Control
The Taliban said Sunday they have Osama
bin Laden "under their control."
They said they were willing to negotiate with the United States if Washington
provides evidence he was involved in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.
This is a hueueueueuege mistake on their part.
If the Afghani Taliban had any damn brains at all, they would said,
"We have no idea where bin Laden is - it's a big rugged country."
If Weak & Stupid had any brains, he'd say this:
"Since you have him, do NOT let him go. If you let him go, we will consider that
a direct attack on the United States and we will take severe action against you."
Once the Taliban admitted they have him - they're in a box.
Doesn't anybody on Team Smirk know how to finish him off?
This is so damn easy. bin Laden has been gift-wrapped for us.
All Smirk has to do is call them on it.
If he lets time go by, and fails to call them on it, they can
"We let him go because the US didn't provide proof."
Smirk -listen to me!
Tell the Taliban you're holding THEM responsible for bin
If bin Laden gets away, it's THEIR FAULT!
You've been dealt a royal flush, Mr. President.
Play this hand - bet on this hand.
...Koresh, I wish we had a competent president...
According to our government translators, copies of the "document" found, conveniently,
just about everywhere a terrorist had been, said they should be sure to bring their WILLS with them.
Either we need a new translator, or that's just
stupid. Terrorists have wills?
Okay, let's assume for a moment that they do. But if they do, why the hell
would they bring them along on a trip to meet Allah via a fiery death?
It's all beginning to smell like some kind of
a planted piece of evidence,
or - like I said - we need a new translator.
Where, exactly, was Bush at noon
on September 11th?
President Post Turtle on the 11th
The press were secured safely in the back of what they thought was Air Force One,
"Hey, two F-16s on each wing tip, President P.T. must be upfront, right?" Yet the President was in
one of the E-4Bs, now designated Air Force One, about 20 minutes ahead of them on the way to Offutt.
One amusing part of this whole wretched day was shortly after take-off from Barksdale heading to Offutt.
The pilot of the E-4B called Air Traffic Control to ask if 'they had received his flight plan'.
The controller replied, "Since
this is your first time driving Air Force One, let me tell you how this
You go where you want. My job is to keep all the other airplanes away from you."
Why didn't we get this story from the Washington press corp?
Why are you learning this from a comedy web site?
Because the American whore press refuses to do their job.
Whatever Mr. Rove wants, Mr. Rove gets.
Did bin Laden end Britney Spears's career?
Subject: White House edits transcript of Fleischer's remarks!
You might not think of them as a typical news
source but they pointed out
the discrepancy in the story about the controversy with Bill Maher.
It turns out that the White house edited out the
"they need to watch what they say"
business from the transcript available from their website. (the guy submitting the story
confirmed it by watch the conference on C-Span's website)
And isn't it sad the only place you'll hear about
this is from a movie gossip website?
Hey, whatever Mr. Rove wants is what the reporters reveal - nothing
The American whore press is part of Team Smirk - has been for almost two years.
Welcome to the GOP's America
Subject: Executive Order Suspends Due Process in Property Seizure
I don't know how to put it. This is very,
very serious. It makes it possible to seize almost any property
from almost anyone. I understand it has already been used to shut down a media outlet.
We are not in Kansas any more.
Click Here and bring your law degree with you.
(Too bad I don't have a lawyer on the team who could explain this.)
One thing - if you read thru this, tell me what you think the odds are
that Weak and Stupid could explain this document.
Netscape is hosting a poll: Click Here
Rate President Bush's handling of the terrorist crisis.
I would rate Bush's performance as:
B: 12% 11620 votes
C: 8% 7518 votes
D: 5% 4656 votes
F: 11% 10696 votes
I voted an "F" for Weak & Stupid
If I though Bush had done anything positive, I would say so and
take the abuse
from the "you've sold out" weenies, but what has he done besides proclaim
"We will get those responsible," and wink at his wife?
What has he done?
What has he done besides make a bunch of stupid-ass Texas proclamations
about "smoking them rascals out of their holes?"
After some initial tough talk, now we're settling
into a "long, protracted battle,"
that will take tens of billions of OUR tax dollars and require complete secrecy?
What has he done besides allow religiously-insane John Ashcroft to suspend
What has he done besides preside over the biggest power grab in history?
What has he done besides preside over the biggest money grab in history?
That's what gets him an "A" in today's America?
Ben Affleck ticketed for 114 mph on I-16
The deputy who pulled over the speeding black Cadillac said the
driver didn't look or act much like a movie star.
"They said you'd have never known," said Sheriff Hooks. "He had on an old mechanic's jacket with somebody
else's name on it and a little round pair of glasses."
Affleck was clocked at 114 mph on Interstate 16 late Wednesday
night. He was released after posting
a cash bond of $1,114 at the county jail. Hooks said deputies described Affleck's behavior as "very nice."
"He didn't put up any problems," the sheriff said.
Paranoia Part II - Disconnect
From the twisted mind of RB Ham
There are some really serious questions in this article.
Too bad America doesn't have a free press to investigate.
Subject: bartcop.com overseas story
Naturally there's been lots and lots of attention on how to improve airtravel safety these past couple of weeks.
When I travelled to Washington state from Norway
a year ago, the air stewardess handed out a questionnare
with yes/no answer options to be filled out by the passengers. Among the usual questions concerning health issues
and whether there was any food in the baggage, there were some questions I found kind of strange....
I don't recall the exact words, but there were questions like:
"Have you participated in genocide?" Yes/No
"Were you a nazi-officer during World War II?" Yes/No
"Are you planning to partake in criminal activity during your stay in U.S.A.?" Yes/No
As I was filling out the questionnare, I got a
picture in my head of Slobodan Milosevic sitting on a plane
heading for the U.S. pondering what to answer on the genocide question and the like.........
Do you think he would ask one of the stewardesses for advice??
- Ole Sivertsen,
Sent in by Nick
Senior foreign correspondent for bartcop.com
The Subversion Of The Free Press By The CIA
"You could get a journalist cheaper than a good call girl, for a couple hundred dollars a month."
CIA operative discussing with Philip Graham, editor Washington Post, on the availability and
prices of journalists willing to peddle CIA propaganda and cover stories. "Katherine The Great,"
by Deborah Davis (New York: Sheridan Square Press, 1991)
"Get on an airline, take a vacation,
go to Florida and visit Disney World and
spend some money to help my little brother's state economy. Things aren't so bad
that I can't whore a little bit for Jeb, who's got a tough fight for re-election."
-- Weak and Stupid Saturday, the way it sounded to me.
Report: Americans Captured
DUBAI, Sept 29 (Reuters) - Qatar television says Afghan forces
have arrested five people,
including three Americans, near the border with Iran with maps of sites of bin Laden's group.
It said the three Americans were from the U.S. Special Forces and had modern weapons.
"The five were arrested, three Americans and two Afghans who have U.S.
The Americans are U.S. Special Forces."
He said pictures of the men would be released soon.
Washington Post Editorial
Free Speech in Wartime
Why can't DC watch Politically Incorrect anymore?
The station acted in response to comments Maher made about the Sept. 11 attacks;
WJLA is certainly entitled to decide that its viewers should be insulated from such talk.
But this isn't a question of law. The station had long carried the program, whose very purpose
is to be, as its name suggests, brash and confrontational. The station's decision to keep the show
off the air was a capitulation to pressure to toe a certain line.
Hey, whatever Mr. Rove wants, Mr. Rove gets.
You'd think the Post would know that by now.
"Smirk is my president.
He is my Commander-in-Chief."
-- Al Gore, who had to say that.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.