POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT
"A recent Weakest Link featured
Darva Conger, Tonya Harding, Gennifer Flowers and Todd Bridges.
Wouldn't you hate to be the weakest link in that crowd?"
-- Craig Kilborn
by Maureen Dowd
Subject: USA PATRIOT Act -- Look on the bright side!
It's not all bad. Let's look at how it defines
domestic terrorism. It's an
attempt to "intimidate or coerce a civilian population." Sound familar?
If Bush Sr's Willie Horton ad campaign in 1988
wasn't an attempt to intimidate or coerce our
civilian population, I don't know what is. So we've established Bush Sr is a domestic terrorist.
We can take a look at his confidential medical,
financial and student records without him
knowing about it. We can search his premises without him knowing about it or even telling him
what we found. The best part is that it's also illegal to support domestic terrorists.
So anyone who's ever donated a penny to the Bush
Evil Empire or volunteered
their time, they're under suspicion as well. And to combat this menace, we can
search THEIR homes and records secretly too. Big Tobacco, Big Insurance, every
fat cat... they'll all be under scrutiny.
You know, I think Bush Jr. was a big supporter
of his dad during the '88 campaign.
Anyone want to execute a secret search of the White House?
goes crazy, tries to strangle San Diego cabbie
Afghan cab driver wishes Oklahomans weren't such knuckledraggers.
says Taliban using civilians as shields
'Rumsfeld placed responsibility for "every single casualty in this war" on the Taliban,
whom he called "an illegitimate unelected group of terrorists." '
" The president will be out of public
view for a few days while he sheds his skin.
This is the third molting since he has been president."
-- Ari Fliescher, covering for his boss.
This Just In...
John Ashcroft (R-Religiously Insane) has issued a new Terror Alert.
...that is all.
Subject: Re Feminine Harry Potter Boy
It has long been marketing policy to use feminine
looking males when trying to grab
a female (as well as young male) audience. It's part of cross-marketing. Need proof?
Check any teen heart -throb that has ever been.
Whether you choose young Sinatra, Elvis, McCartney,
Davie Jones, Backstreet Boys,
Glam Bands, DiCaprio, all the male cover models of Seventeen and Tiger Beat that were
ever used, etc., etc., you name it they are/were pretty boys who proved testosterone
without the sexual threat of a more "Manly man."
Don't crack on the boy, it's just Madison Avenue squeezing more money out of the available market...
Screw Bill Bennett and every lie he's ever told.
Hillary's airport cop joins Olympic sprint team
Ernest Dymond, the Westchester police officer
mentioned in the NewsMax story
about Hillary Clinton's airport incident, is quite the athlete.
According to NewsMax, Dymond managed to bang on
the windows of Hillary's
limo for a hundred yards while it was "speeding" by at 35 miles per hour.
Well I was intrigued by this mans ability to keep
up with a speeding car, so
I dusted off my pocket calculator and did a little figuring just to see how impressive a feat this was.
At 35 mph, the car was covering about 50 feet
every second. At that speed, it would have covered
300 feet (100yds) in about 6 seconds. Now just to put that in perspective, Maurice Green, the world
record holder for the 100yd dash managed to cover that same distance in 9.76 seconds, averaging
around 20.9 mph during his dash.
So, assuming Ernest Dymond was not aided by a
really strong tailwind, he broke the world record by
nearly 4 seconds and managed to eclipse the top speed of the previous "fastest man on earth" by at least 15 mph.
Quite impressive indeed, I can't wait to see this guy compete in Athens in 2004.
Tom, good point.
And, just to call extra attention to the lying Clinton haters, he caught the speeding limo
after it shot past him doing 35 MPH, so he would've had to average perhaps 45-50 MPH
to overtake the speeding limo from his standing position.
Lastly, someone pointed out that many security guards get those jobs
when they fail to pass the physicals at their local police departments.
This guy could be Ernest the Donut claiming he ran 45 miles an hour
Report - October 2001
Warning: Lower your expectations - these are hell to write.
Subject: Ken Starr friendly with Clinton admin? I think not!
You should read James Carville's book "And the
Horse he Rode in On." In that book Carville states clearly
that he met Ken Starr in an airport before Starr was assigned as Special Prosecutor to replace Fiske. In that
encounter, Carville says, Starr told him right upfront that he was going to sink Clinton, that Clinton would be
impeached one way or another. Carville says he decided right away that Starr was a lunatic.
Now, given that, it strains credulity that Carville
would not say anything about that to the Clintons once Starr
was chosen. In fact, it's true that Carville advocated a more aggressive posture towards Starr than Clinton
or others would go along with.
But I doubt entirely there was ever a conception
of Starr as anything but a partisan witch hunter in the
whole Clinton administration.
The admin may have put a pleasant front on its
relationship with Starr, but given his credentials
(most of his work was for large tobacco companies, and he represented Paula Jones in filing some of her
briefs, but denied any connection to her, and he got a position at Pepperdine that was funded by Scaife)
there is no way the Clinton administration would have genuinely respected him.
I think JL did not have the facts when writing you.
Marion, I believe you are correct.
Carville quotes Starr as saying, "Your boy's getting rolled."
Starr couldn't even roll the women...
How to Lose
by Frank Rich
The farcical failures of these two cabinet secretaries are not merely those of public relations
— though Mr. Thompson often comes across as a Chamber of Commerce glad-hander who
doesn't know his pants are on fire, and Mr. Ashcroft often shakes as if he's not just seen
great Caesar's ghost but perhaps John Mitchell's as well.
Both have a history of letting politics override public policy that dates to the start of the administration.
They've seen no reason to reverse their partisan priorities even at a time when the patriotic duty
of effectively fighting terror should be their No. 1 concern.
by Julie Hiatt Steele
From: Charlie Stanisz
Subject: oh- another word professional
You are a headache, a blister, a rash.
I have to think about your drool of a websight in order to
write this poem and all of a sudden blood comes out of my ass.
I am radical right like you want me to be-
I hate the working class because i aspire to be.
What am I? oh no. I drank to much and decided to puke.
I wish GW would launch a small Nuke. Whatever.
If you masterbated as much as you should- you
wouldn't be so angry at nothing politics.
Charlie.so happy i'm not you or anybody with a miniscule agreeing thought as you.com
p.s. I stumbled on your sight going to the Drudge
you might make more money sucking off of Cleo the fortune teller.
You might want to see a doctor about the rectal bleeding.
It could be a symptom of a serious problem...
Get well soon!
to Deny the Needy
by Rep. Cynthia McKinney
Almost two weeks ago, I introduced legislation to override the recently signed executive order
by President Bush that would deny our servicemen their overtime pay after 400 days of deployment
within two years. The administration pushed through a $15 billion airline industry bailout, but refuses
to pay our national guardians overtime. Despite the importance of this issue, it has received little
or no coverage in the press.
Remember when that lying son of a bush got cheers at
every campaign stop for claiming "help is on the way?"
He's getting double the salary of our last elected president
and he refuses to pay our fighting men overtime?
Remember when Clinton
and the biggest legitimate political argument
was how to best spend the surplus?
One stolen election suuuuure changes a country...
"The US has developed new technology
to use in Afghanistan.
They're now using beard-seeking missles to hunt down bin Laden."
-- David Brenner, giving Mallard Fillmore competition as the least funny comedian in the country.
Vic the Racist said he saw a bunch of Army Rangers on MSNBC complaining
about the Clinton administration after the men Bush sent to Somalia were killed.
This seems to come up again and again and again, but we never
hear from any
military men about the 240 marines who died when the senile idiot Reagan insisted
they be housed in the most dangerous city in the world, Beruit, instead of on ships
where the Joint Chiefs said they could be protected.
You know why they always complain about the 18 we lost in Somalia
but never breathe a word about the 240 we lost in Beruit?
I've mentioned the answer a hundred times, but since Vic the Racist
brought it up I'm going to say it one more time. I can't explain why,
but military families would rather lose their sons under Reagan or Bush
than have them come home under a man as "evil" as Bill Clinton.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.