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Volume 1024 - Willy-nilly

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 Wednesday  March 19, 2003 


"Bush fancies himself a Christian. It's too bad he isn't, but then most Christians would not be
  recognizable to Christ if he returned to Earth. Peace, love and justice are not very fashionable
  in many Christian circles these days. Many of them prefer war, provided they don't have to fight it."
     --Charley Reese, A Real Policy For Peace,

  I love war if I
 don't have to fight!

 Daschle in hot water over "Bush failure" comments 

 You know why he's in trouble?  I can think of three reasons:
 1. He's never spoken out before, so when he finally does, we're 30 hours from a war.
 2. No Democrats will back him up. They're letting him twist like a kite with no tail.
 3. It's the damn truth, and the truth has become unacceptable in America under Bushler.

 I admit, I was watching FOX Whore News, and they said the entire Republican party was outraged,
 which I'm sure they are. They stick together and they speak out when something happens that they
 don't like - meanwhile, the Democrats cower in fear in the corner.

 Of course, Mara Liason, one of FOX's "liberal" commentators, agreed whole-heartedly that Daschle
 was an evil man that will burn in hell for all eternity for those vile comments about our hero George W. Bush.
 Liason is almost as effective fighting for the left as Colmes is on Hannity and Surrender.

 Hey FOX, thanks again for the "fair and balanced" coverage.

 Now that I've gotten "both sides" of Daschle's treasonous and malicious statments against Mom and Apple Pie,
 I can make up my own mind if Daschle is a ninth or tenth degree Satanist.  But I'm also energized.  If I had the
 mic hooked up today, I'm sure I would've lost my cool, but there will be plenty of chances for that in the coming
 weeks and months. But trust me, FOX Whore News is going to be hearing from us - soon. FOX is so crooked,
 they can hide behind a spiral staircase.

 Plus, I'm pissed off that we're under construction and my scanner's unplugged, because while cleaning up,
 I found a Tulsa World (R-Right wing) newspaper that I saved from Dec 18, 1998.

 Top headline, above the fold:   Impeachment debate to start

 Second headline, left, above the fold: Missles pound Iraq

 President Clinton was taking care of the country's business, while the sex-obsessed Republicans with holes in
 their pockets (so they could reach you-know-what) were demanding more details about exactly what Clinton
 did with Monica, how many times, and in what order. I remember Senator John Ashcroft (R-Serial Tosser)
 being one of the biggest offenders.

 And before we forget - nothing makes a ditto-monkey squeel with laughter than when you say "aspirin factory."
 Those words bring down the house at every Republican fund raiser, but that was proof that Clinton was fighting
 Al Qaeda was the GOP was in constant-masturbation mode.  They can bite me and then go straight to hell.

 ...and they want to give Daschle shit for using the word "failure" when calling a spade a spade?

    by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

"...a policy of appeasement could bring destruction of a kind never before seen on this earth."
            George W. Bush --Get out of Dodge speech March 17, 2003

" It's hard to envision more terror than 2001."
            George W. Bush --Scripted Press Conference March 6, 2003

"Make up your mind."
             Barry Crimmins, Crimquips March 18, 2003.

 Our government is lying to us

 "US claims 30 coalition partners" read the headline on Yahoo

 First, thank Koresh Yahoo had the integrity to use "claims" instead of pretending it's a fact.
 Second, do you want to know what kind of liars have stolen their way into being our overlords?

 France, the scum of all the Earth according to the White House and FOX News (one and the same)
 is counted as one of our "coalition partners." So in an attempt to pretend we have partners, Bush is
 claiming even the countries they are bad-mouthing as "appeasers of terror."

 Here's the deal:

 France announced that IF  ( I know you know what that word means)  Saddam uses chemical or biological
 weapons against us, they will assist with supplies and medical teams, things of that nature.

 So when reporters as Ari the forked-tongue how many nations are "on board" for the slaughter,
 Ari replies, "We have 30 countries, counting those who've sent soldiers, weapons and
 those helping with the aftermath of any possible medical situations."  (Not a verbatim quote)

 So while bad-mouthing France with every breath, these liars are counting France as an ally.

 What's wrong with that?

 Have you heard?

  is coming...

 Rumsfeld Ego Trips Isolate an Already Clueless Bush
  (It was in the NYWTimes, but it still might be true)

  Click  Here

 During a White House planning session with his top military advisers late last month, Bush turned
 to Gen. Richard B. Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, with a pressing question:

 How long would war with Iraq last?

 But before General Myers could respond, Rumsfeld put a hand on his arm and said,
 "Now, Dick, you don't want to answer that."

 If Bush was a real president (ha ha) he'd tell his subordinate Rumsfeld to shut his goddamn mouth
 and look back at Myers and bark, "You were asked a question by your Commander in Chief!"

 But no, Bush is a figurehead/pinhead whose job it is to act like Joe Six Pack and put voter's minds at ease.
 When Reagan was a joke of a president, BobCat Goldthwaith wrote the line,

 "Reagan is like Ronald McDonald. He's good with the kids, but he's not the guy
  you want to talk to if you get served a bad cheeseburger."

 Speaking of McDonald's, we haven't heard much from Ann Coulter in a while.

 Hey Bart,

 Maybe someone will buy the hospital where W. had that poor 15-yr-old girl undergo the illegal abortion:
 Bush's abortion hospital for sale

  Click  Here

  Bush's Abortion

 Daniel in H-Town

 What's the difference between Bush and that religious Utah nut who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart?
 The religious Utah nut didn't get his victim pregnant.


"I hate to work over the weekend, as I hope you do, but, I mean, it is a very serious matter."
     -- Jose Maria Aznar, Prime Minister of Spain refering to the sham meeting in the Azores showing why
         he and pResident lazy, stupid and delusional get along so well (

  Damn, looks like somebody has been reading

 These almost-legally-elected duplitious Americans who will stop
 at nothing to acheive their twisted and perverted political goals.

  Click  Here

 I wonder how the Kurds feel about the Governor invading their country?

 This is almost too horrible to put into words, but it really happened. In 1991, Bush 41
 launched his massive attack on that year's Hitler, Saddam the Evil Doer. America
 encouraged the people of Iraq to rise up against Saddam, and the Kurds did that.

 We pushed Saddam out of Kuwait (after Bush invited him - in writing - to take it)
 and we pushed his army halfway back to Baghdad.  Eventually they surrendered, and when
 we negotiated terms with Saddam's henchmen (I would've made Saddam show up personally
 and wear a pink tutu to the surrender meeting so CNN could get pictures of the murderous bastard
 (Saddam, I mean) wearing pink to humiliate him in the Oh-so-macho world of the Middle East.

 But in the terms of the surrender agreement, "Stormin'" Norman Schwartzkopf outlawed all Iraqi
 planes and jets from flying, but he didn't have the brains to outlaw helicopters in the agreement.
 How stupid could a general possibly be?  I have a litmus test that if I, Tequilaboy in Oklahoma could
 do it better than the 40-year pro, he must be an idiot nearing the scale of idiocy yardsticked by Dubya..

 So, the minute we turned out back, Saddam went after the Kurds with the same kind of deep-rooted
 hatred that Bush has for California. Saddam took his flying gunships to the north and murdered thousands
 upon thousands of Kurds. As is American tradition, we didn't pay a dime's worth of attention and our
 Kurdish allies were victim to Saddam's flying machine guns for weeks.

 Jesus Christ, can't we do anything right?

 Look at Germany and Japan, then look at the South Vietnamese and the Kurds
 and tell me, - would you rather be an American ally or an American enemy?


"They were concerned that we not get into a position where we shifted, instead of being the leader
  of an international coalition to roll back Iraqi aggression, to one in which we were an imperialist power,
  willy-nilly moving into capitals in that part of the world, taking down governments."
        -- Unka Dick, during the 2000 campaign on why other countries were glad
            we didn't remove Saddam Hussein from power in 1991 (

 Need help with your anti-war page?
 Or a page about anything?

Click for Help


 Powell's "coalition" of the willing (30 countries) is made up of predominantly countries who are in poverty.
 Bribes to these government work well, even though in every single one of them the majority of the people there
 are against Bush and against this oil war.


 Migs, I'm with you, Dude.
 When I used to work with Vic the Republican, he'd cook up the best roast beef I've ever had, along with (same meal)
 slow-roasted chicken breasts, slow-roasted ribs, the best mac and cheese I've ever had, with some green beans soaked
 in ham & bacon juice, some millionaire pie and some homemade deserts that were to die for all by themselves, and just
 before I took my first bite, he'd ask me if Bush was a good president.

 Hell, I wasn't under oath and knowing how good that food was going to taste, I'd say, "He's the best ever!"

 But it's not funny when you bribe a starving nation to support an illegal war just to steal a third country's assets.
 If this is a nightmare - when do we get to wake up?


"Bush tried to blame France for causing the war by threatening to use its veto. What hypocrisy: since the
  United Nations creation, the United States has used its veto 76 times, and 41 of those vetoes in the last
  three decades concerned attempts by the United Nations to call Israel to account for its violations of multiple
  U.N. resolutions.  By asserting the United States' right to invade whomever it likes whenever it likes, Bush’s
  speech brought the world to the most dangerous moment in its history since the Cuban missile crisis of 1962."
    --Doug Ireland, Credibility Bomb, 


"She was standing on top of a pile of earth. The driver cannot have failed to see her. As the blade pushed
  the pile, the earth rose up. Rachel slid down the pile. It looks as if she got her foot caught. The driver didn't
  slow down; he just ran over her. Then he reversed the bulldozer back over her again. She was very courageous."
     --activist, Richard Purssell, near Rachel Corrie when she was crushed by an Israeli army bulldozer

 Bart's Law #3
 Do not lay down in front of a bulldozer or a train or become a human shield.
 The "president" of the United States will have you killed, rather than call off his bloody attack.
 Apparently, the Israeli government feels the same way about protestors.

 That's one difference between our president and a Chinese tank commander.
 In China, when they stood in front of the tank in Tienneman Square, the tank stopped.
 In America and apparently, Israel, the "tank" keeps coming and crushes you.

Marty's E! page
Bonnie Hunt hosts Letterman tonight
Morgan Freeman gets his star
Lisa Marie Presley made her singing debut
Networks pooling video for the first 24 hours
A statue of Wolfman Jack
India Arie is an optimist
Eric Clapton played for his daughter's school fundraiser
The war will be commercial free
ha ha
TV's contingency programming options
Dick Smothers Jr has a new career
And Uncle Junior has a new CD coming out


Does Carol Lay read


"...citizens today are being held incommunicado in military brigs in this country, without being charged,
  without access to counsel, by the simple fact that the president has declared them what is called 'enemy combatants.
  What has happened to the Bill of Rights, and due process? What has happened to the Geneva Convention?
  If they're not prisoners of war, what are they? And what rights do they have?''
   -- Janet Reno, the womam who thought it would be a good idea to turn Ken Starr (R-Religiously Insane)
       lose inside the zipper of our last-elected president with unlimited time, money, resources and scope.

 Firm of mind, soft on facts
    by  Michael Hammerschlag
  Click  Here

 As we plunge into the most reckless, unjustified, and immoral war since the Philippines and commit a
 blunder that may echo down through the decades; let's say it clearly, without shading or pretense,
 without genuflection or fig leaf: our President is a liar. A serial, repetitive, egregious liar. A man who lies
 not only in the service of his single minded crass policies, but who does so automatically- as a reflex.
 Mr. Bush isn’t just the most dishonest President I’ve seen in 4 decades of watching them, he’s the
 most consistently dishonest politician I’ve ever seen.

 We have a new mail box

 This is for radio bits, sound bites, parody songs -etc.
 We need pretty much everything - if it's short and funny - send it.

 Dixie Chicks axed by Clear Channel
  Freedom of speech, truth no longer acceptable in America

  Click  Here

"'Out of respect for our troops, our city and our listeners, [we] have taken the Dixie Chicks off our playlists,'
  said Gail Austin, Clear Channel's director of programming for the two Jacksonville stations."

 Hey, they didn't insult the troops.
 They said they were embarrassed that Smirky McWarhardon was from Texas.
 How does that insult the troops?

 Note: Clear Channel hosts the vulgar Pigboy, Laura, Hannity etc.
           They're not doing this out of respect for the troops.
           They're throwing more red meat to the ditto-monkeys.
           They did it to make more money.

 Advertising on

 For a limited time, you can buy two ads for $80 or ten ads for $300.
 If you go with the $300 package, you should get more than six "views" per penny.

the business address for more details.
 Also, page advertisers will be mentioned on the sure-to-be-a-smash hit 


"Pentagon officials say they’re gonna let the correspondents be in with the troops,
  but I think maybe they’re trying to stick it to the correspondents, they hope some
  of them will get killed. I don’t know what their point is.”
    -- Andy Rooney on Greta

 Dear Bart,

 Enclosed is a contribution.
 I can't afford this, but getting the goblins out of the White House is the only way my business will improve.
 Thanks for making me laugh and keeping me informed.


 BartCop Manor is under construction.
 We're building the BartCop Studio from the ground up.

 Once we get started, if you hear Rush, O'Reilly, Hannity or Laura say something extra stoopid,
 or something that we can have great fun with, look at your clock.

 Then write to me and say, "Bart, 36 minutes into Hannity & Surrender, Hannity said "X."
 Then I can go to my tape, fast-forward 36 minutes, locate the sound bite and the fun begins.

 While we dismantle and rebuild the current cockpit, I'm on a slow and clumsy laptop with a 56K modem.
 Have patience this week, is busy being born.
 It's getting closer and closer...

 Isn't it exciting?

 Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
 Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


 You say you can't afford to subscribe?
 What happens if Bush wins  steals another four years?
 Can you afford that?

 They own the TV networks, the newspapers, news magazines and talk radio.

 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to support BartCop Radio big-time

 If we don't fight back, we deserve our fate.


"I think our worldview that I'm trying to articulate is compassionate conservatism.
 When you believe in the sanctity of life, you believe that people are created in God's image,
 you are compassionate to them because they are made by God, not by nature or some other
 --they are made by God. So you look at them in a compassionate way. That is George W. Bush."
     --Tom DeLay

 But Tom, didn't God create the Iraqi people, too?
 Or were they "made by nature or some other?"

 Why is George W. Bush going to kill so many of God's people?
 And why would you use a war to show how compassionate the aggressor is?

The first three star comic ever.

 The only thing moving faster than Bush towards war is the construction at BartCop Manor.
 We'll be done tonight, and we should be back up to speed tomoro.

 Do you know how hard it is to do a on a laptop with a 56K modem?

 Click  Here  for today's 

  Bad language alert
 How the sons of bitches get rich and stay rich

 The vulgar Pigboy always talks about how the rich deserve to be rich because they work so hard.
 Sure, that's gotta be true in some cases, but in many cases in just good old fucking crime and greed.
 Boots and Coots is part of Halliburton and the B.F.E.E..

 Within the last year, their stock sold for as little as 6 cents a share.


 Now that the unelected bastard is dragging into a war that nobody wants, and since our military
 is going to follow orders, Iraq's oil fields will soon be blazing, at least enough of them so Boots
 and Coots can submit a trillion dollar repair bill to your kid's Social Security fund.
 This money will then be spilt amongst the B.F.E.E. loyalists.

  But they're smart enough to make money more than once.

 As of this writing, shares of Boots and Coots are going for $2.35
 So if you're involved in the B.F.E.E., and you KNEW Bush was going to murder Iraq no matter
 what the circumstances and no matter what Russia, China, France and Germany said, you could've
 bought a million dollars worth of stock a year ago at 6 cents and if you cashed in today, according
 to my good Catholic math, you would have $40,000,000 now.

 This is horseshit!

 Bush and his crooked f-ing friends made FORTY TIMES their money by knowing the fix was in
 and the only cost was a few hundred or a few thousand American soldiers.

 Doesn't anybody besides an internet tequila comedy site give a fuck?

 The fix is in, our men will die and Bush's millionaire friends are now billionaires.

 Martha Stewart makes headlines with some piddly-ass insider stock "scandal," and the Fake Monkey President
 is involvbed in a has-to-be-illegal scheme to have our soldiers killed to make more money?

 Goddamn, I am pissed off about this.

 It's another occasion where I'm lucky I don't have that goddamn microphone working yet because if
 someone tuned in cold and heard me screaming mother-effer at the Governor they'd probably call
 Ashcroft and the "restrained" warning would be real next time.

 Isn't anyone else pissed about this?
 Am I reading this wrong?

 Bush's co-felons are making 40 times their money on this fake war and Boots & Coots
 haven't even presented their fake trillion dollar repair bill to your grandchildren yet?

 (Blood pressure 240/155, and I'm not kidding)

 Wouldn';t it be nice if, a year from today, BartCop Radio had a couple of thousand subscribers
 which would give us a budget so we could do things like buy billboards on the DC Beltway and
 have stories like this Boots & Coots murdering fraud Bullshit on people's minds?

 Funny, I've been begging for money for over two of my seven years doing this,
 and I don't think I've ever used the word "please" before, but I'm going to use it now.

 Please help me raise enough money, and raise enough hell, to make a difference.
 It seems like nobody else cares besides us.  Or maybe they care, but they think "What can one person do?"
 I'll tell you - we can grow the hammer and make this radio pie higher.
 Right after I publish this, I'm going to put about $1500 on my credit card and buy the rest of the
 electronic equipment that will turn Mrs. Bart's dining room into a semi-real radio studio.
 If you've been thinking about subscribing, now would really help.  If you already are a subscriber,
 consider adding another subscription to help make this radio thing happen. There are days when only $15
 comes in and that can be scary when you're jobless and owe 100 times that on radio equipment.

 The B.F.E.E. is going to steal everything they can until somebody makes them stop.  Jesus Christ, we're going
 to be at war in about 24 hours, and it seems like the ONLY reason is that people like Boots & Coots stockholders
 want to make serious money while this unelected criminal has his hands in the federal cookie jar.

 So now, I'm going to go to the music store and buy this electronic equipment. When I get back, while
 my friend begins connecting the VCRs and CD players and microphones and AM and FM reveivers
 and Koresh knows what else to this giant mixing console (I don't even know the right names to call
 the equipment) I'm going to have a drink and think about the future of BartCop Radio.

 BartCop - all he has is a webcasting studio, a smart mouth and the truth.

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