Shocked at the deaths,
Awed by the arrogance


Fight back!
Stolen Votes
Hagel Cheats

Bill of Rights Dead

Myth of the Lib Media

Bart vs Fred Barnes

 BartCop Store

 The Forum
The Reader


Your Ad Here

Contact us

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
 PayPal to
 PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK  74155


Back Issues
Bart Cook
BartCop Sports
BC Entertainment
Daily Howler
Demo U-Ground
Eric Alterman
Gene Lyons
Joe Conason
Greg Palast
J M Marshall
Mike Malloy
Project 60
Smirking Chimp
Vegas Report

Volume 1037 - Hungover in Baghdad

Please visit our sponsors

 Friday, April 4                I'm in a really bad mood today, might need some forgiveness.


"As we move toward a new Middle East over the years and, I think, over the
  decades to come ... we will make a lot of people very nervous. We want you
  nervous. We want you to realize now, for the fourth time in a hundred years,
  this country and its allies are on the march and that we are on the side of
  those whom you -- the Mubaraks, the Saudi Royal family -- most fear:
  We're on the side of your own people."
    --Former CIA Director (and BFEE confidant) James Woolsey, who has been named
       as a possible candidate for a key position in the reconstruction of a postwar Iraq,

 I don't even know what he means and it's scary...

"Jimmy does what Unka Dick tells him to do.
  He's a good man."

 Denver Fans Walk Out of Pearl Jam Show 
  Whore headlines sell more papers than honest ones

  Click  Here

 Dozens of fans walked out of a Pearl Jam concert after Eddie Vedder
 took a mask of President Bush and impaled it on a microphone stand.

 Several concertgoers booed and shouted Tuesday night for Vedder to shut up
 as he told the crowd he was against the war and Bush. He impaled the mask
 during the encore of the band's opening show of a U.S. tour.

"It was like he decapitated someone in a primal ritual and stuck their head
 on a stick," fan Keith Zimmerman said.

 During the show, Vedder said: "Just to clarify... we support the troops. We're just
 confused on how wanting to bring them back safely all of a sudden becomes non-support,"
 he said. "We love them. They're not the ones who make the foreign policy ....
 Let's hope for the best and speak our opinions."

 What a distorted story, written by "Associated Press."  That's horseshit, hiding behind
 a collective name so nobody is responsible, like yesterday's "Washington sold Saddam anthrax."

 First of all, Eddie and Pearl Jam don't need anyone's money.  They can't be Dixie Chicked
 because I assume they are financially secure. The Dixie Chicks made three super-selling albums
 and still didn't have two nickles to rub together because the label screwed them, so their statements
 may end up being their Waterloo, to use a French term.

 Second, "dozens" of people walked out?  I wasn't there, but I understand it was
 the beginning of an encore.  Lots of people leave a little early. When we saw Garbage
 in DC we had to leave to catch the last Subway out of northern DC. So these cowards
 at the AP could say we left because we don't like Shirley's politics?

 Third, last night Eddie played OKC. My ne'er-do-well felon friend saw the show, and he said
 Eddie's response was, "Did the newspaper bother to mention that 11,960 people stayed?
 No, because it makes a better story when you distort it like they did."

 The whore press has been doing the same thing with the protest numbers. If there were 100,000
 anti-war protestors in the streets, and 500 Bush-lovers, the AP headline would read,
"Both sides show up to make views known."

 We're going to have to fight this horseshit until hueueuege American corporations decide that
 honesty, dignity and accuracy mean more than that extra nickel, which means it will never stop.


"Which offense is worse, a reporter from an American network appearing
  on an Iraqi state run TV during a war, or another American TV personality
  giving away American troop positions during a war? We report, you decide!"
    --Keith Olbermann, as quoted on

 U.S. Says Finding Saddam Not Needed for Victory
  Here we go again - Osama and Saddam don't concern Bush, just the oil

  Click  Here

 Ari the Forked Tonguesaid on Friday they would consider military action in Iraq a success
 even if U.S. forces failed to find Saddam.

 While finding Saddam would be "helpful," Fleischer said Bush's "definition of victory" was
 removing the current government from power and eliminating the country's alleged WMD.

 Just like with bin Laden, President AWOL pulls back again.
 This was always about stealing their oil and nothing else.
 Who's going to oversee Iraq's oil production now?
 Halliburton, under the close supervision of Cheney and the Squatter.

 Who's going to argue with their figures?  If Halliburton pumps out a million barrels of oil daily
 but they report that they've only extracted a quarter million barrels, who's going to argue with them?

 I wonder how the families of the American dead feel about another job-half-done by a Bush?

  I had this next story sent to me by a lot of people.

 POW Father Denies Daughter Shot, Stabbed
  Did the Bush disinformation squad embellish too much?

  Click  Here

 The father of rescued POW Army Pfc. Jessica Lynch says she is in great spirits
 following her first surgery and said she had not been shot or stabbed during her ordeal.
"We have heard and seen reports that she had multiple gunshot wounds and a knife stabbing.
 The doctor has not seen any of this," Gregory Lynch Sr. said. "There's no entry (wounds) whatsoever."

 The odd part, is many of the e-mailers were gloating about how I got it wrong.
"Gullible and naive BartCop believed the media," as tho it was my first day on the job.

 Gee, a wounded soldier, taken from her captors in a war zone
 and I was "gullible" enough to believe the reports of gun shot wounds?

 Subject: Fundamentalist Christians Support This War?

 It seems strange that the only Christian organization opposing this war is
 The Roman Catholic Church. Why are Billy Graham, Pat Robertson, and
 Jerry Falwell supporting this war? Is it OK to kill as long as the ones you
 are killing are not Christian? We would be outraged to witness the slaughter
 of this many animals, so why not Iraqi citizens?

 My guess is that the reason fundamentalist Christians don't condemn this war
 is because one of their own, GW Bush occupies the White House. As we all know,
 Bush is a compassionate born again Christian. Many of these so-called Christians,
 while not coming right out supporting this war, have remained silent.
 Their silence is deafening.

 Joan Chryl


"The inspections should have continued. When someone comes to your house
   to fight, you fight. They may have come for Saddam Hussein, but they also
   came for the oil. We can take care of this problem inside Iraq. We will find
   someone to lead us. We will find a man of our own."
    --Karim Al-Mayali, in the Village Voice

 Sorry, Dude, but Dim Son will put a B.F.E.E. thug in there to cook the books.
 That oil's leaving, and you'll get beans, bread and water for it - nothing more.

 From:  chris matei

 uou are a fucking looser

 ha ha

 Hey Monkey, want to go a few rounds in a live chat room?
 I'd make you my surrender bitch in minutes.

 Things that God told me
     by James Higdon

  Click  Here

 The naked truth is that God only grants one thing to an individual, and that is peace of mind.
 God's eternal gift to man is the ability to think and reason, and when an individual uses those
 gifts to the best of one's ability to do so, God will grant comfort in the knowledge that all
 available avenues have been explored, and the best course of action has been taken.  You
 might be interested in knowing that God has granted Bush no such comfort.  In fact, God has
 never granted Bush any peace of mind because of Bush's near complete inability to use God's gifts.

 Bruce Yurgil

 Not sure why your stuff's not getting thru, but I need it.

 Try the  address.

 We need your graphics!

Stop the War t-shirts

click to order


"Bill Kristol...wrote in May of 1998 that Clinton "is doomed" and that Republicans
  would sweep the midterm elections by focusing on nothing but the president's louche ways).
  But mainly what happened is that their guy won -- hijacked -- the White House, so they
  didn't have anyone in power to hate anymore. Suppose that President Gore were in the
  White House, and suppose that his military had not captured bin Laden after 18 months;
  or that anthrax had been mailed to Lott and Helms' offices, and Gore's Justice Department,
  17 months later, didn't even have a suspect! It's obvious to anyone with a mind that the
  Republicans, and Kristol, would be doing to Gore exactly what they did to Clinton in 1998."
    --Michael Tomasky, Breaking Kristol

"The GOP would never do that.
  They are our friends!"

 Saw it on

 Click  Here  for more.

 Subject: Keep up the good work

 Saw your site -- keep up the good work!  The more, the better.

 The more constant reminders that most liberals are still whining about the election
 they failed to cheat their way out of, the more examples of the fact that left-wingers
 are completely unable to argue on a LOGICAL and THOUGHTFUL level, and
 are only capable of leveling pathetic ad hominem attacks, the better.

 So keep up the good work -- you're doing more than your part to make sure
 that the Democratic party will continue to lose more and more power in this country.

 Thanks for all your help!
 Adrienne Gabriel

 There was a time in America when the guy with the most votes won.
 But they couldn't rape the Middle East without the army's help
 so Puppetboy had to steal the White House to make this possible.

 I'm glad you enjoy Bush's war and recession more than Clinton's peace and prosperity.


 Subject: Not shot. Not stabbed.


 As wrong as the press has been about so many things,
 you really ought to wait a few days before taking anything that is reported as true.


 This was one of the nicer notes I got on this.
 Many others were taunting, "You dumb fuck, you believed the press?"

 Sure I did.

 When the media says a POW was shot in enemy territory, I should doubt that?
 They're all lying, but we can't discount everything we've ever heard from every source.

 And why some of you people are screaming "gotcha!" that I believed the Post is puzzling.
 Dumbass me - I thought we were on the same side, but I'm getting tons of mail saying,
"You were wrong!!! She wasn't shot!!!!!"

 Hey, the teams of reporters I hired in Basra, Baghdad and Landstuhl, Germany didn't check in
 so I had to go with what I had.  People are lining up around the block to tell me I got it wrong.
 Why would you get a thrill out of gloating that I believed a very believable story?

 You think I should wait a few days every time a story shows up?


"Did we have ...sufficient reason and motivation and justification to go into Iraq?
  Absolutely.... It's a dangerous world. It's a particularly dangerous world since 9/11.
  The threshold for action has been lowered."
   -- Bill Bennett, the most pompous of the I'm-better-than-you morality whores

 CrimQuips by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

 Bush seems to only make public appearances before audiences of active soldiers
 and pre-screened veteran groups, yet we are supposed to believe Saddam is the
 only one who is laying low?

 If Bush slinks any deeper into the weeds, he might accidentally find Osama.

 Support Our Troops/Deport Our "President."

 While I think it very likely that Pvt. Lynch is a lovely girl; very brave and a lot of grit.
 But she is not a hero.  Her convoy turned the wrong way and got caught in a trap,
 and she was captured.  And there is no doubt that media whores of Babylon will
 make her the poster child for this war.

 At the same time, the media whores are running from Rachel Corrie like she was
 a break out of SARS.  Rachel, a young American girl of 23 stood in the path of an
 Israeli soldier in a bulldozer, attempting to destroy a family's home in occupied territory.

 The soldier demanded that she get out of the way, and Rachel talking over the noise
 of the vehicle on bull horn, refused.  She sat down in front of it (a common tactic of
 peaceful civil disobedience) and the soldier attempted to use the shovel of the dozer
 to cover her in dirt.  As Rachel attempted to dig her way out, the soldier ran over her.
 To make sure she was dead, the soldier backed over her again.  Rachel is a hero,
 but she will be demonized by the media whores of Babylon.


 It's telling that all we know about each woman is what the lying whore media tell us.
 Now they're saying Lynch wasn't shot, but apparently her broken bones were real.

 We'll have to disagree on this one, but in my opinion, it's always a bad idea to take on
 bulldozers, trucks, trains or F-16s. The last thing I want to be doing is looking St Peter
 in the eye saying, "Swear to Koresh, I thought the train would stop in time."
 I wish Rachel was still with us.

  French Fry boycott may destroy France

   Click  Here

 We now have the 

 Call 918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to say your piece.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for BartCop Radio.

 Someday we'll be able to afford a live phone hookup - they are very expensive.

 We want Republicans to call - that makes it interesting.
 If you have a decent long distance carrier, the call will only cost 20 cents.

 Today, we have bad news, bad news, and good news.

 The bad news first:  Today's recording of calls is the weaker-signal type.
 I think it'll work, and it should be the last of the weaker signal recordings.

 The bad news: The last three times I've "assembled" these calls, I've gotten severe migraines,
 and I don't even get those. The one I'm having now is almost 24 hours old.  It's got something
 to do with the radio equipment - but...

 The good news: I paid a professional to rewire it and it's working much better now,
 so the next recording should be ten times clearer and better.   Pray for my head.

 Click  Here for a few minutes of yesterday's BartPhone:

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 Bush monkeys and ditto-wanks welcome, too.
 Step by step, we're getting closer to BartCop Radio.

 Subject: Something you should understand

"No blood for Oil" is such an ignorant catch phrase.

 No, it's just shorthand. It's hard to fit "The Monkey who stole the White House
 is getting our soldiers killed just so his crooked crime family can grab the Middle East
 and take over the world and there's nobody left to stop them," on a sign.

 You have to understand the ratio - we're talking about a few gallons of blood
 for untold billions of barrells of oil. It's a good deal.

 What are you talking about?
 The only time we have an "oil shortage" is in late May because the oil companies
 get surprised every year that families want to go on vacation when school's out.

 This is about Bush and friends taking over the whole world. Are you ignorant of the facts?
 Right now, they control the world's oil, much of the world's gold refining, plus the American military
 and the "lockbox" that's now as empty as the space between the Corrupt Commander's ears..
 Even the Supreme Court is a rubber stamp for Bush, so who's going to stop him?  France?

 Also, it's easy to talk about "a few gallons of blood," when it's not your blood.

 Subject: Dennis Miller

 Hey Bart,

 One of my ditto monkey friends just sent me the Dennis Miller list and I took the liberty
 of copying your reply and sending it to him.  Not sure if you caught it but Miller was on
 Leno again last night (wtf? is he on there every week now?!) and listening to him spew
 his hatred was nauseating. The guy apparently Hates Everyone now!
 Apparently Miller thinks no celebrities should be allowed to voice their opinion on public
 policy, but of course at the same time its fine for Mr Miller to go on television and spend
 the entire segment personally trashing every single person who doesn't agree with him.
 I was about to puke, but after about 15 minutes of non-stop personal attacks it suddenly
 didn't bother me any more. Miller is nothing but a shell of a human, he has no soul (maybe he
 DID sell it to Satan?) and in the end he just came across as empty and full of hatred.

 Anyway, this might be a good time to re-post your Dennis Miller reply


 Kelley K

 Kelley, when I wrote that, I knew there was a chance it wasn't really Miller   It wasn't.
 The real author contacted me and said he got a kick out of my replies, so I invited him
 to send in right-mail and he said he would from time to time.

 I'd sure like to get stuck on a plane with the real Miller for three hours. When we get
 full-tilt into BCR, I'll be playing some of his older stuff where he unmercifully mocked
 what he has now become - Limbaugh with a beard


"To save time, Travolta said he might just set fire to the $40 million."
    -- Conan, commenting on the possible plans for Battlefield Earth II

 Bush Mix of God and War Grates on Many Europeans

  Click  Here

 The religious overtones in Bush's speeches increasingly grate on many ears in Europe,
 where leaders invoking God in times of war are widely suspect of misusing faith for political purposes.

 No less than the German president, French prime minister and Belgian foreign minister have joined
 religious leaders in expressing concern about Bush's beliefs and the place of religion in U.S. politics.

 Media commentators, especially in northern European countries with Protestant heritages,
 have branded Bush's evangelical views as Christian fundamentalism, with some even
 comparing them to the Islamic fundamentalism of Osama bin Laden

Marty's E! page
Chris Rock is on Carson Daly
Check local PBS listings for 'NOW With Bill Moyers'
HBO has Bill Maher with Arianna Huffington
For Californians, Oceanside Larry has the inside on the 'Telemarketers Don't Call List'
Liv Tyler married Royston Langdon
The New York Public Library acquired the archives of Terry Southern - he wrote
the screenplays for 'Dr. Strangelove', 'Easy Rider', and 'The Magic Christian'
England's poet laureate wrote 'Regime Change'
Will Pearl Jam & Eddie Vedder be 'Dixie Chick'd'?
MTV gives Tom Green another show
It's not a giant squid - it's a colossal squid!
And, suggested reading - 'Bush's Voice of America'



"Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes."
     --Tom DeLay, to Congress

"I'm nuts about tax cuts." disarm WMDs 5th Pentagon priority?
    by Phillip Schuman

  Click  Here

 Destroying Saddam's WMD, disarming him, has dropped to the Pentagon's 5th priority.
 It was Bush's mantra, his very causus belli, and now he mentions it as much as the name
 of bin Laden. Somehow, now the discussion is over the liberation of the Iraqi people,
 guaranteeing 28 million of them free health care (!!!), and finding and developing information
 on terrorism support in Iraq (the Pentagon's new number 2 and 3 priorities). This looks like
 the Pentagon is being used to support a political propaganda line being desperately spun out
 to avoid a severe public relations nightmare brewing for the Bush administration.

 From: "Duane"


 You are nothing but a bitter, jealous anti-american who is kidding no one!

 ha ha
 Was there a full moon last night?
 The monkeys have left the trees and they're running wild in the streets.

 you have no morals so dont you dare hide behind the constitution or freedom of speach,

 Look, it's a Morality Monkey, here to lecture me on "freedom of speach."

 because if you did have a principle in your body, you wouldnt back stab the men and
 women who are mustering up the courage to go into battle as we speak.

 I ain't stabbing Jack, Bucko.
 Where did you get your non-education - Morons R Us?

 you should leave this country before someone runs your america hating ass
 out on a red white and blue rail!!!

 I have a better idea - let's de-monkey America instead.
 Why don't we debate and the loser has to leave?
 We'll tell your family you went on The Great Banana Hunt..

 to think that brave, freedom loving ,great americans died on the battlefield to protect your
 right to put this type of communist pinko pig shit out on the internet while our troops are
 dying to protect our future makes any american want to vomit all over your ass.

 Wait - great Americans died while our troops are dying?
 I didn't ask anybody to die for me, especially in Bush's pretend war.
 And that "vomit all over my ass" comment was a classy move, Monkey.

 if you could have, you would have protested the allies taking the battle to hitler!

 No, because Hitler actually needed to be stopped.
 The Bush Family, Prescott in particular, was helping Hitler.
 ...or do you not know anything about Bush Family history?

 i have no doubt.  you are the scum of the lowest bottom dwelling slimy creature
 that inhabits the portapotties of the world.

 More class from a classy guy.  Do you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth?
 I'll bet a guy like you has his own tire swinging from a branch - am I right?

 Bush won fair and square, he is totally legitimate in my eyes and apparently in the eyes
 of 65% of the nation according the the polls.  i voted for him and all i can say didnt!
 ha ha ha!

 So, you admit at least 35% of the nation thinks he's an unelected imposter. That number is low,
 but since we're in a fabricated war, his numbers are higher.  Like the other monkey, I invite you
 into a chat room where you'll be handed your ass. A cowardly monkey never has the balls to debate,
 so maybe you should just scamper off, but watch your knuckles on that concrete.

 But next time, Monkey, come heavy or don't come at all.

 Tommy Franks Discovers Saddam's Evidence Bunker
  Humor from The Bean magazine

  Click  Here

 George Bush, putative commander in chief, appeared at a hastily arranged press
 conference to celebrate the discovery. "Last week I bought Tommy one o' them
 metal detectors from the TV commercial," said Mr. Bush, pantomiming the use
 of such a device. "I just knew he'd find something."


 Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


 You say you can't afford to subscribe?
 What happens if Bush wins  steals another four years?
 Can you afford that?

 They own the TV networks, the papers, the news magazines and talk radio.

 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Reminder: we get matching funds when you subscribe.

 Click  Here   to turn ten dollars into twenty dollars.

Why has Doonesbury gone soft on us?
Is he on vacation? Is he sick?

 Our audio mail box

 This is for radio bits, sound bites, parody songs -etc.
 We need pretty much everything - if it's short and funny - send it.

 Advertising on

 For a limited time, you can buy two ads for $80 or ten ads for $300.

the business address for more details.
 Also, page advertisers will be mentioned on the sure-to-be-a-smash hit 

Don't forget to call the 

Shopping online?
Use this portal and they'll throw  four cents.

Search Now:
In Association with

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

I'm on the broken computer that doesn't get pictures.
Maybe that'll get fixed soon, too.
Also, maybe some whiskey will make the migraine go away...


Privacy Policy
. .