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Volume 1039 - Half Alive

Please visit our sponsors

 Tuesday, April 8, 2003


"Our industry has not done nearly enough to communicate the essential role we play
  and how we go about providing energy and products that contribute to economic growth,
  not just here in the U.S., but on a global basis and help improve the lives of millions of
  people around the world. Our industry deserves to be better understood as a positive
  source of social welfare gains and environmental improvement."
  -- Exxon Mobil's VP of swindles and frauds, Kenneth Cohen

 Hey Kenny, what you guys need is a cheerleader who's not a blood-thirsty moron.

"Who can he mean?"

 Bush's Alderaan
     By Robert Parry  at  consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

 In the latest sign of a troubled American democracy, a large majority of U.S. citizens
 now say they wouldn’t mind if no weapons of mass destruction are found in Iraq, though
 it was George W. Bush’s chief rationale for war. Americans also don’t seem to mind that
 Bush appears to have deceived them for months when he claimed he hadn’t made up his
 mind about invading Iraq.

 As he marched the nation to war, Bush presented himself as a Christian man of peace who
 saw war only as a last resort. But in a remarkable though little noted disclosure, Time magazine
 reported that in March 2002 – a full year before the invasion – Bush outlined his real thinking
 to three U.S. senators, “Fuck Saddam,” Bush said. “We’re taking him out.”

 I Miss America
  Even Dick Nixon looks good to me now
   by Alan Bisbort

  Click  Here

 I miss Richard Nixon. What I mean is, I miss the days of Richard Nixon when, even while the Trickster and
 Spiro Agnew were abusing power, a loyal opposition resided in Washington, D.C. I miss the days when a
 loyal opposition was bipartisan, well-spoken and independent-minded, when it included people like Daniel
 Moynihan, who died this week, and Lowell Weicker, then a Republican Senator from this great state. I miss
 the time when the Republican Party had smart people in it, even if you disagreed with them, people like
 Mark Hatfield, Barry Goldwater, John Chaffee. I miss the time when even so-called "doves" like William
 Fulbright, Mike Mansfield, George McGovern and Morris Udall were admired by those who voted
 differently from them. I miss the checks and balances that were built into our Constitution and worked
 so well for this nation up until November 2000.

 I miss America.


 Did you happen to see the Sports Illustrated cover story on Lance Armstrong as the athlete of the year?
 Seems Lance has no more time for the Invisible Cloud Being than you do, and he's totally up-front about it.

 I also think it's cool that he's stayed with the U.S. Postal Service team all these years. They were the only
 team that gave him a chance after his cancer appeared. Now, of course, everyone else wants him and has
 dangled wads of money in his face, but he's stayed loyal to the USPS.

 The guy seems to have real integrity.
 I think he deserves a shot of Chinaco Anejo, don't you?

 Ann in Philly

 Ann, damn right.

 A shot of Chinaco to Lance Armstrong for his integrity, his bravery
 and his willpower in telling testicle cancer to take a f-ing hike.

 I guess you've realized we haven't been publishing the war atroctities du jour.

 You know it's going on, and I know it's going on, but I keep telling myself that
 they really are doing what they can to minimize civilian casualties when they can.
 They have nothing to gain by giving their critics more photo ops of dead kids.

 VCR Alert

 Kim gets kidnapped on tonight's 24, see who gets her this time.

 There's anew show taking the time slot of The Shield called Lucky,
 what's-his-name the hunk from Northen Exposure and Sex with Kim Cattrall.

 He's a trying-to-be-reformed gambler in Vegas, so I'm going to watch.
 BartCop, come to Vegas.
 BartCop, you have a free airline ricket, come to Vegas
 Early reviews say it's got that Shield edge to it - that's a good thing.

 Mrs. Bart is making me tape the Cher Concert, so we might have fun with that.
 Also, NYPD Blue returns, ansd ABC is calling it "TV's finest hour," or something
 like that, but if that was really true, why'd they take it off the air for five weeks?

 Greg Palast in Seattle tonight
  Come see the man the B.F.E.E. sued for telling the damn truth!

  Click  Here  for the full schedule, and don't delay, because
                       they're having to schedule bigger halls as tickets sell out

 Click to own Greg's book


"The president is basically a CEO. His entire management style is right out of
  an MBA handbook. That can be very successful in both the world of commerce
  and the political world. He's been successful in packaging and positioning the
  military effort so that the messaging, the communication all resonates with real
  American values -- duty, responsibility, protection -- all wrapped in the flag.
  As a Vietnam veteran, I'm not being sarcastic."
    --Robert Passikoff, President of Heavy Sarcasm Inc.

 Well sure, Pee Wee Herman could sell this fake war if all the networks and talk radio
 and weekly news magazines and big-time newspapers all hid the facts from us and
 printed whatever lies Mr Rove ordered them to print, the soul-selling bastards.

"What does that mean?"

 Call Susan McDougal today

  4:00 PM interview        KWNX AM  on the Paul Pryor Show in Austin

 Call 512-419-1077 at 4 PM CST

 Meet Susan McDougal tonight
 Tell her Bart says "Hey!"

 7:30 PM signing and talk
 1000 Research Boulevard, #158
 Austin, TX 78759

 She's in Houston Friday and Dallas next Wednesday - details to follow

 Click  Here to get her book and
 pay her back for her 22 months in prison.
 Great book, and I can say that
 because I actually read it and it's true!

 Graphic War Images
     by David Allen

  Click  Here

3) What if my children should see these images? It could scar them for life.

 Imagine what it is like to be this little girl and be LIVING these images.
 Imagine what her scars will be like.

 Why are your children so important that you raise a stink about images
 on the web, and yet other people's children are maimed or reduced to
 a bloody bag of shattered bones and you can't be bothered?

 What if Fox News were around during other historical events?

Stop the War Chinaco mugs

click to order


“The media whores' "reportage" re Saddam's riches has been cracking me up.
  A few days ago they were disgusted by the fact that he drives custom-made bullet-proof
  Mercedes when the monies spent for same could be used to help the people of Iraq.
  Last night, their indignation focussed on the VIP lounge at the Baghdad airport - marble
  floors [*gasp*], custom chairs [*faint*], and more! Thank God, you'll  never find OUR
  "VIPs" lolling in the lap of luxury as long as there is one hungry American child...
     -- vcz

 Subject: Proving you wrong

 The reason there are no successful liberal talk shows is because you
 people are ful of hate and have nothing to say that anyone wants to hear.

 Sure you have your hacks on NPR. But put them out in the real world
 where they would have to get ratings to stay on the air.

 They would go down within months.
 Prove me wrong.

 You are only half wrong.
 Who wants to hear, "Let's give the blacks and the gays a break?"


 But when Rush says Hillary murdered Bill Foster to cover up her lesbian affairs,
 and Clinton raped teen virgins on the dining room table at the Arkansas governor's
 mansion while snorting cocaine, and he had 45 (how many is it now?) people murdered
 for getting in his way - now that's entertainment. How do you think they built FOX News?

 You're right - the NPR people wouldn't last if they had to get ratings, but then neither
 would opera, ballet, classical music and other things most people aren't into.

 On the other hand - what if  was different?
 Stay tuned...

Bumper stickers for sale
Click to purchase

 An Open Letter to Charlie Daniels and the Warmongers
   by Christian Dewar

  Click  Here

 Bush is the Christian who presided over the execution or over 130 death row prisoners, some defended by incompetent
 counsels or ones who slept through the proceedings. He laughed and mocked Karla Faye Tucker's pleas for clemency.
 He smirked in the debates when he discussed the death penalty for the men who dragged a black man to his death. W
 hat part of "Thou shall not kill!" does this Christian not understand?

 What if Fox News were around during other historical events?

 Due to a glitch (we have so many of them here) I received a flood of sound files.
 Three of them were from a great-sounding lady with an English accent doing BCR promos.

 Who are you, and can you send more?

 Those were perfect and that's just what we need more of, to dangle a preposition.


 A ditt-monkey friend of mine was going off on this fake photo of  Daschle.
 This crap circulates among the spanks, and they want SO HARD to believe it
 that they actually do. They then pass this stuff around over the internet at light speed,
 and everyone starts to just assume it's the truth. No wonder these right wing nitwits
 think bush is a beacon of morality, and Gore is a serial liar.


 Click  Here  for proof

 TJ, since we have the truth on our side, the spanks have to fabricate
 shit like this to create the illusion that they are right. And the whore press
 is willing to make that extra nickel by pandering to these clowns.

 This is all they have on their side, this and Rush and racism.

 Subject: Bush supporters = idiots

 These Bush apologists defend DUMBya because they like having someone
 on their own intellectual level in the White House.  I love, too, how these
 "rah, rah USA" types can only resort to foul language and threats of violence
 to answer those of us who don't agree with their warped "patriotism."

 Keep up the good work, Bart!

 Terry in NJ

 Terry, think how much America has changed in just the last six months.
 Since Bush got his war hardon, the new catch-phrase is,
 "See that guy? He's a bad person. He's anti-war."

 I'm so old, I remember when war was a thing to be avoided.
 But under President Happycrack, war and deficits and recession are good things,
 and the press will remind you every fifteen minuites in case you forget.

 We now have the 

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to say your piece.
 We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for BartCop Radio.

  Click  Here for a few minutes of this weekend's BartPhone:

 Call now!   918-493-1500

 We need your jokes, your impressions and your rants.
 Did anything piss you off today?  Let's hear about it!
 Some media whore needs slapping?  Get to it!

 Bush monkeys and ditto-wanks welcome, too.
 Step by step, we're getting closer to BartCop Radio.

Please visit our sponsors.

 What if Fox News were around during other historical events?

Marty's E! page
New episode of '24' tonight
Beau Bridges got his Walk O'Fame star
(Regis gets his Thursday)
Winona Ryder completed community service
New Hollywood Blacklist
Clowns in Minnesota
U of T (Austin),  paid Woodward & Bernstein $5 million
Peter Arnett has another new job
Barbara Bush & her beautiful mind
And, Stallone, Snipes & Seagal rule the Baghdad video roost



"True patriots know that a price of freedom is periodic submission to
  the will of our leaders—especially when the liberties granted us by the
  Constitution are at stake. What good is our right to free speech if our
  soldiers are too demoralized to defend that right, thanks to disparaging
  remarks made about their commander-in-chief by the Dixie Chicks?"
     --The Onion,

 Saw it on the-broadside.com

 A protestor, who refused to give her name,
 bears the wounds after she says she was hit
 by an Oakland police weapon during an
 anti-war protest on Aug. 7,  2003.

 Some funny, some not 

 One small step for trying new segments
 One giant leap for 
  Click  Here  to hear this amazingly hilarious, really damn funny, best he could do BartCop Radio preview!!

 Be sure to subscribe while we're still not funny.
 Get in for the half-funny rate of only $5 a month.

 Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
 ...and send BC Powder so my headache goes away.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  bartcop.com  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


 You say you can't afford to subscribe?
 What happens if Bush wins steals another four years?
 Can you afford that?

 They own the TV networks, the papers, the news magazines and talk radio.

 The Internet is all we have.

 Click  Here   to turn ten dollars into twenty dollars.

 Advertising on  bartcop.com

 For a limited time, you can buy two ads for $80 or ten ads for $300.

the business address for more details.
 Also, page advertisers will be mentioned on the sure-to-be-a-smash hit 

 Subject: Dixie Chicks #1

 Am I the only one who finds it ironic that while they continue to be portrayed
 as the "Great Satans", the Dixie Chicks records continue to top the charts?

 This week they remain #1 on the Billboard Country Chart and #7 in the all album
 category (the highest rated country album).  In Canada they rate #2 on the Neilson
 Soundscan chart, and have been on both the US and Canadian charts for 31 weeks.

 Somebody please explain to me how these stations can continue to
 pull their music "because the listeners demand it."

 Maybe it's a case of "dislike Natalie" but "support the album."

Don't forget to call the 


“What irritates me the most are these blow-dried Napoleons.”
     --  Tom Delay, (R-Squirrely bastard) on ex-generals criticizing the war

"I'm just nuts about Bush's oil war!

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