Volume
1039 - Half Alive
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Tuesday, April 8, 2003
Quotes
"Our industry has not done nearly enough to
communicate the essential role we play
and how we go about providing energy
and products that contribute to economic growth,
not just here in the U.S., but on a
global basis and help improve the lives of millions of
people around the world. Our industry
deserves to be better understood as a positive
source of social welfare gains and
environmental improvement."
-- Exxon Mobil's VP of swindles and frauds,
Kenneth Cohen
Hey Kenny, what you guys need is a cheerleader who's not a blood-thirsty
moron.
"Who
can he mean?"
Bush's
Alderaan
By Robert Parry
at consortiumnews.com
Click
Here
Excerpt:
In the latest sign of a troubled American
democracy, a large majority of U.S. citizens
now say they wouldn’t mind if no weapons
of mass destruction are found in Iraq, though
it was George W. Bush’s chief rationale
for war. Americans also don’t seem to mind that
Bush appears to have deceived them for
months when he claimed he hadn’t made up his
mind about invading Iraq.
As he marched the nation to war, Bush presented
himself as a Christian man of peace who
saw war only as a last resort. But in a
remarkable though little noted disclosure, Time magazine
reported that in March 2002 – a full year
before the invasion – Bush outlined his real thinking
to three U.S. senators, “Fuck Saddam,”
Bush
said. “We’re taking him out.”
I
Miss America
Even Dick Nixon looks good to me now
by Alan Bisbort
Click
Here
Excerpt:
I miss Richard Nixon. What I mean is, I
miss the days of Richard Nixon when, even while the Trickster and
Spiro Agnew were abusing power, a loyal
opposition resided in Washington, D.C. I miss the days when a
loyal opposition was bipartisan, well-spoken
and independent-minded, when it included people like Daniel
Moynihan, who died this week, and Lowell
Weicker, then a Republican Senator from this great state. I miss
the time when the Republican Party had
smart people in it, even if you disagreed with them, people like
Mark Hatfield, Barry Goldwater, John Chaffee.
I miss the time when even so-called "doves" like William
Fulbright, Mike Mansfield, George McGovern
and Morris Udall were admired by those who voted
differently from them. I miss the checks
and balances that were built into our Constitution and worked
so well for this nation up until November
2000.
I miss America.
Bart,
Did you happen to see the Sports Illustrated
cover story on Lance Armstrong as the athlete of the year?
Seems Lance has no more time for the Invisible
Cloud Being than you do, and he's totally up-front about it.
I also think it's cool that he's stayed
with the U.S. Postal Service team all these years. They were the only
team that gave him a chance after his cancer
appeared. Now, of course, everyone else wants him and has
dangled wads of money in his face, but
he's stayed loyal to the USPS.
The guy seems to have real integrity.
I think he deserves a shot of Chinaco
Anejo, don't you?
Ann in Philly
Ann, damn right.
A shot of Chinaco to Lance Armstrong for his integrity,
his bravery
and his willpower in telling testicle cancer to take a f-ing
hike.
I guess you've realized we haven't been publishing the war atroctities
du
jour.
You know it's going on, and I know it's going on, but I keep telling
myself that
they really are doing what they can to minimize civilian casualties
when they can.
They have nothing to gain by giving their critics more photo
ops of dead kids.
VCR
Alert
Kim gets kidnapped on tonight's 24, see who gets her this time.
There's anew show taking the time slot of The Shield
called Lucky,
what's-his-name the hunk from Northen Exposure and
Sex with Kim Cattrall.
He's a trying-to-be-reformed gambler in Vegas, so I'm going to
watch.
BartCop, come to Vegas.
BartCop, you have a free airline ricket,
come to Vegas
Early reviews say it's got that Shield edge to it - that's
a good thing.
Mrs. Bart is making me tape the Cher Concert, so
we might have fun with that.
Also, NYPD Blue returns, ansd ABC is calling it
"TV's finest hour," or something
like that, but if that was really true, why'd they take it off
the air for five weeks?
Greg
Palast in Seattle tonight
Come see the man the B.F.E.E. sued for telling the damn
truth!
Click Here
for the full schedule, and don't delay, because
they're having to schedule bigger halls as tickets sell out
Click to own Greg's book
Quotes
"The president is basically a CEO. His entire
management style is right out of
an MBA handbook. That can be very successful
in both the world of commerce
and the political world. He's been
successful in packaging and positioning the
military effort so that the messaging,
the communication all resonates with real
American values -- duty, responsibility,
protection -- all wrapped in the flag.
As a Vietnam veteran, I'm not being
sarcastic."
--Robert Passikoff, President
of Heavy Sarcasm Inc.
Well sure, Pee Wee Herman could sell this fake war if all the
networks and talk radio
and weekly news magazines and big-time newspapers all hid the
facts from us and
printed whatever lies Mr Rove ordered them to print, the soul-selling
bastards.
"What
does that mean?"
Call
Susan McDougal today
4:00 PM interview
KWNX AM on the Paul Pryor Show in Austin
Call 512-419-1077 at 4 PM CST
Meet
Susan McDougal tonight
Tell her Bart says "Hey!"
7:30 PM signing and talk
BARNES & NOBLE
1000 Research Boulevard, #158
Austin, TX 78759
She's in Houston Friday and Dallas next Wednesday
- details to follow
Click
Here to get her book and
pay her back for her 22 months in prison.
Great book, and I can say that
because I actually read it and it's true!
Graphic
War Images
by David Allen
Click
Here
Excerpt:
3) What if my children should see these images?
It could scar them for life.
Imagine what it is like to be this little
girl and be LIVING these images.
Imagine what her scars will be like.
Why are your children so important that
you raise a stink about images
on the web, and yet other people's children
are maimed or reduced to
a bloody bag of shattered bones and you
can't be bothered?
What if Fox News were around during other historical events?
Stop the War Chinaco mugs
click to order
Quotes
“The media whores' "reportage" re Saddam's
riches has been cracking me up.
A few days ago they were disgusted
by the fact that he drives custom-made bullet-proof
Mercedes when the monies spent for
same could be used to help the people of Iraq.
Last night, their indignation focussed
on the VIP lounge at the Baghdad airport - marble
floors [*gasp*], custom chairs [*faint*],
and more! Thank God, you'll never find OUR
"VIPs" lolling in the lap of luxury
as long as there is one hungry American child...
-- vcz
Subject: Proving you wrong
The reason there are no successful liberal
talk shows is because you
people are ful of hate and have nothing
to say that anyone wants to hear.
Sure you have your hacks on NPR. But put
them out in the real world
where they would have to get ratings to
stay on the air.
They would go down within months.
Prove me wrong.
You are only half wrong.
Who wants to hear, "Let's give the blacks
and the gays a break?"
Bo-ring!
But when Rush says Hillary murdered Bill Foster to cover up her
lesbian affairs,
and Clinton raped teen virgins on the dining room table at the
Arkansas governor's
mansion while snorting cocaine, and he had 45 (how many is it
now?) people murdered
for getting in his way - now that's entertainment. How do you
think they built FOX News?
You're right - the NPR people wouldn't last if they had to get
ratings, but then neither
would opera, ballet, classical music and other things most people
aren't into.
On the other hand - what if 
was different?
Stay tuned...
Bumper stickers for sale
Click to purchase
An
Open Letter to Charlie Daniels and the Warmongers
by Christian Dewar
Click
Here
Excerpt:
Bush is the Christian who presided over
the execution or over 130 death row prisoners, some defended by incompetent
counsels or ones who slept through the
proceedings. He laughed and mocked Karla Faye Tucker's pleas for clemency.
He smirked in the debates when he discussed
the death penalty for the men who dragged a black man to his death. W
hat part of "Thou shall not kill!" does
this Christian not understand?
What if Fox News were around during other historical events?
Due to a glitch (we have so many of them here) I received a flood
of sound files.
Three of them were from a great-sounding lady with an English
accent doing BCR promos.
Who are you, and can you send more?
Those were perfect and that's just what we need more of,
to dangle a preposition.
Bart,
A ditt-monkey friend of mine was going off
on this fake photo of Daschle.
This crap circulates among the spanks,
and they want SO HARD to believe it
that they actually do. They then pass this
stuff around over the internet at light speed,
and everyone starts to just assume it's
the truth. No wonder these right wing nitwits
think bush is a beacon of morality, and
Gore is a serial liar.
TJ
Click
Here for proof
TJ, since we have the truth on our side, the spanks have to fabricate
shit like this to create the illusion that they are right. And
the whore press
is willing to make that extra nickel by pandering to these clowns.
This is all they have on their side, this and Rush and racism.
Subject: Bush supporters
= idiots
These Bush apologists defend DUMBya because
they like having someone
on their own intellectual level in the
White House. I love, too, how these
"rah, rah USA" types can only resort to
foul language and threats of violence
to answer those of us who don't agree with
their warped "patriotism."
Keep up the good work, Bart!
Terry in NJ
Terry, think how much America has changed in just the last six
months.
Since Bush got his war hardon, the new catch-phrase is,
"See that guy? He's a bad person. He's
anti-war."
I'm so old, I remember when war was a thing to be avoided.
But under President Happycrack, war and deficits and recession
are good things,
and the press will remind you every fifteen minuites in case
you forget.
We now have the 
Call 918-493-1500
- you have two minutes to say your piece.
We'll then feed the fun calls into the computer for BartCop
Radio.
Click
Here
for a few minutes of this weekend's BartPhone:
Call now! 918-493-1500
We need your jokes, your impressions and your rants.
Did anything piss you off today? Let's hear about it!
Some media whore needs slapping? Get to it!
Bush monkeys and ditto-wanks welcome, too.
Step by step, we're getting closer to BartCop Radio.
Please visit our sponsors.
What if Fox News were around during other historical events?
Marty's
E! page
New episode of '24' tonight
Beau Bridges got his Walk O'Fame star
(Regis gets his Thursday)
Winona Ryder completed community service
New Hollywood Blacklist
Clowns in Minnesota
U of T (Austin), paid Woodward & Bernstein $5 million
Peter Arnett has another new job
Barbara Bush & her beautiful mind
And, Stallone, Snipes & Seagal rule the Baghdad video roost
click
Quotes
"True patriots know that a price of freedom
is periodic submission to
the will of our leaders—especially
when the liberties granted us by the
Constitution are at stake. What good
is our right to free speech if our
soldiers are too demoralized to defend
that right, thanks to disparaging
remarks made about their commander-in-chief
by the Dixie Chicks?"
--The Onion,
Saw it on the-broadside.com
A protestor, who refused to give her name,
bears the wounds after she says she was hit
by an Oakland police weapon during an
anti-war protest on Aug. 7, 2003.
Some
funny, some not
One small step for trying new segments
One giant leap for
Click
Here to hear this amazingly hilarious, really
damn funny, best he could do BartCop Radio preview!!
Be sure to subscribe while we're still not funny.
Get in for the half-funny rate of only $5 a month.
Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
...and send BC Powder so my headache goes away.
Help make BartCop Radio an April
thing,
rather than a May-June
thing.
Is bartcop.com worth $5
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Is Bartcop Radio worth $10
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Is Bartcop Radio worth $25
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You say you can't afford to subscribe?
What happens if Bush wins
steals another four years?
Can you afford that?
They own the TV networks, the papers, the news magazines and
talk radio.
The
Internet is all we have.
Click
Here to turn ten dollars into twenty
dollars.
Advertising
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the business address for more details.
Also, page advertisers will be mentioned
on the sure-to-be-a-smash hit
Subject: Dixie Chicks #1
Am I the only one who finds it ironic that
while they continue to be portrayed
as the "Great Satans", the Dixie Chicks
records continue to top the charts?
This week they remain #1 on the Billboard
Country Chart and #7 in the all album
category (the highest rated country album).
In Canada they rate #2 on the Neilson
Soundscan chart, and have been on both
the US and Canadian charts for 31 weeks.
Somebody please explain to me how these
stations can continue to
pull their music "because the listeners
demand it."
SH
Maybe it's a case of "dislike Natalie" but "support the album."
Don't forget to call the
918-493-1500
Quotes
“What irritates me the most are these blow-dried
Napoleons.”
-- Tom Delay, (R-Squirrely bastard)
on ex-generals criticizing the war
"I'm
just nuts about Bush's oil war!
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Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley
Between doing the page and editing the radio stuff
I hardly have time to find new Shirley pictures.
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