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Volume 1067 - Flick of the wrist

Dozens will see it.

 Wednesday,   May 14, 2003 


“I opposed the American war in Vietnam...That war was a disastrous folly. We were never
  more isolated from the international community than when our troops were deepest in the
  Vietnam jungle.  A close second in isolating us from the international community was the
  invasion of Iraq, a largely defenseless little desert state that posed no threat to us and had
  taken no action against us.  I am opposed to the Bush doctrine of "preemptive war"
  -- what heretofore has been known as aggression or invasion.
       -- George McGovern, genuine war hero, "A More Constructive Internationalism",

"This guy is still alive? I want him dead - and anyone
  who disagrees with that?   I want them dead, too!"

 Don't let GOP give away the bank 
    by Jesse Jackson

  Click  Here

 The parents learned that if they got 100 volunteers to give blood plasma--a much more difficult and painful
 procedure than giving blood--they would be paid enough to keep a math teacher on the job. So Beth helped
 round up the volunteers and became one herself. She had to go five times to donate the plasma--and she
 passed out each time. But she continued. This was about math for her child, after all, and worth the sacrifice.

 While she was literally giving her blood, in Washington the president and the Republican majorities in the House
 and Senate are having a predators' ball. They are squabbling about how much of a tax break they are going to
 give millionaires and refusing to do anything to help with the worst state and local fiscal crisis since World War II.

 Bartcop Radio is Here!

 Well - not quite, but the members area is being set up and a membership system is being installed.
 The move to the new system will take several weeks, and the plan is for the subscriptions generated
 will (more than, hopefully) pay for the increased costs of transmitting the giant sound files.

 Just $10/Month!

 Maybe during the transition, we can come up with an idea how to
 handle individual, snail mail, month-to-month subscriptions.

if you have any ideas.

 I need all the help I can get.


“In San Diego, the supercarrier USS Abraham Lincoln finally docked after nearly 10 months at sea.
 We’ll have more on the reunion with eager loved ones in just a moment, but these soldiers, of course,
 are coming home to a sober reality as well. An economy that, if anything, is struggling more than it was
 when they set sail. The government said today the unemployment rate is up to six percent. More than
 half a million jobs were lost in the last three months.”
   – Claire Shipman anchoring World News Tonight, Sailors Better Off in War Zone


"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most
   was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were."
           --John F. Kennedy, forty two years ago

 Dick Morris - tax cheat
  Toe sucking FOX liar owes a quarter million

   Click  Here

 Dick Morris, now a commentator for Fox News owes $257,624 in state income taxes and is ranked sixth
 on the state Department of Revenue Services' roster of "Top 100 Delinquent Taxpayer Accounts."

 A spokeswoman for the tax department said she could confirm only that Morris was on the list, which includes
 the names of those who have not paid state taxes for more than three months after all their appeal rights have expired.
 She added that the department posts the list on its Web site in hopes of "shaming" delinquents into paying up.

 You can't shame the toe-sucker into anything.
 If he'll work for FOX, he has no shame.

"Y.M.C.A., ...Y.M.C.A.!"

Where's the one of Bush going AWOL?

  Subject: Blair to receive Congressional Gold Medal

  Click  Here


 Tony Blair may never get a Nobel Prize, but his lapdog toadying has bought him
 a Congressional Gold Medal.  He sat up, rolled over, begged, and played dead, just like
 a good puppy, so now he has earned a Scooby Snack.

 This certainly debases everything that the CGM stood for.  I especially loved this quote:
 "Mr Blair's steadfast support for the Bush administration during the wars in Afghanistan
 and Iraq made him hugely popular in the US."   Popular with thugs, maybe.

 I wonder how much Tony likes being paid in gold, rather than in silver?

 R Lewis

Please visit our sponsors.

 On Barney, Bush's dog

"Sometimes he just disappears. The president may be the leader of the free world," says our tipster,
"but Barney doesn't have a problem ignoring orders and going AWOL when he feels like it."

 Dog learns well from master chimp

 Chris in fl


"Kill him. I want all people in Florida named Chris dead - by sunset!"

 Subject:  re: kiss my ass

 About the economic quotes in the article, they were made before Hillary-care failed.

 Mike, I have no clue which article you might be referring to.
 And "Hillary care" didn't fail because it was never tried.

 The gelding Democrats refused to back their new president. The GOP hate machine revved up
 and made health care into Willie Horton II, and the pink tutu Democrats ran like cock roaches
 when the Clintons needed support in changing our then-biggest problem..

 The damage of the tax cuts were overestimated, due in part from the continuing productivity
 improvements stemming from the Reagan tax cuts, and due in part to the Internet
 (stock boom, cap gains tax windfall, etc.).



 Mike, again, I have no clue if you're talking about Reagan's tax cuts, Reagan's tax hikes,
 Bush's tax cuts - you could be talking about anything from the last 22 years.

 Most of the time I'm floundering like a tossed rafter in the cold Colorado rapids
 so any and all clarifying clues would help when writing to Ol' Bart.

 In any event, who made the call that tax cuts weren't that bad?
 A millionaire who wanted more?

 Where's the "not that bad" on this chart?

 When the right talks about tax cuts, they always say, "When the rich get a tax cut,
 they're able to hire more workers and make the economy better for all," which is horseshit.

 I'm "able" to go to Idaho tonight, but that doesn't mean I'm going to.

 Far too far
  Texas Republicans ensure an unhelpful government
    by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

"They just went too far, that's all. This session of the legislature has been as brutal, callous and indifferent to the welfare
 of the weakest, the most frail, youngest and oldest Texans as it is possible to get. The level of pure meanness is stunning.
  They have just gone too damn far...There is no excuse for this, and blaming it on the deficit will not wash. We all knew
  going in that some terribly hard choices would have to be made, but what in the name of heaven was the governor
 thinking when he had handicapped people arrested?

 POWs on Dave

 That did my heart good.
 These guys had "America's best" written all over them.
 Because of who they are and what they they did and what happened,
 I completely forgave their religious faux pax and I'd forgive them if they liked Bush.

 These were two young bucks who took an f-ing with humor and they're ready for more.
 You can hate the military all you want, but when you and me need some kid to charge that machine gun,
 these guys are waving their hands, trying to volunteer.

 ...and what a country.

 They've only been free - how long? - 30 days, right? And they already had their schtick down.
 They have a comedy routine worked up, and it was funnier than last week's SNL.
 Two dudes get freed from an Iraqi prison and they're funnier than SNL's finest?

 Dave did a super lame Monica joke tonight  (Dave, it was five years ago. Fire those writers - hire new ones.)
 but when Dave gets down, I think he's the best at doing this.  Since we know Dave's a comedian, when he
 gets serious, it means that much more:

 Dave: (gingerly) Were you guys tortured, beaten, or mistreated?

 Hero 1: Yeah, and Randy got it worse than I did. They were always beating on him.

 Hero 2: That pissed me off. I said, "Why don't you smack my friend as much as me?"

 ha ha

 Dave bears in...  (this is how I remember it)

 Dave:  So, after you were captured, what kinds of questions did they ask you?

 Hero 1:  The usual stuff, how many troops we had, where we would attack next, struff like that...

 Hero 2:  I told 'em we were coming to kick their ass. The baddest and meanest fighting force
                in history was coming to kick their ass from every direction any second. They got a lot
                nicer towards us as our boys closed in.

 He turned to the crowd with an Arsenio "Woof, woof!" hand thing and they went wild.

 Hey, you military-is-bad Democrats need to listen to Ol' Bart on this one. When it's
 life and death (inside these two guy's microcosm) rooting for your team is a good thing.

 Dave: What were some of your scarier moments?.

 Hero 2:  There was the time when the building next to us got bombed and bricks
                fell on top of us from our prison wall collapsing, that was pretty scary.

 Dave: And how does something like that change you, as people, you're perpective on life?

 Hero 1: It makes every day better than before, each experience is more fulfilling.

 ha ha

 How good would some Chinaco Anejo taste after walking a mile in his shoes?
 How sweet would the South's Finest Chocolate taste having been in an Iraqi jail?

 I've been in a Mexican Jail, and I can truthfully testify that SF Chocolate totally rules
 How tasty would, ...be still my heart, ...Bixby Corn seem after going thru a life-changing experience?

 If I wore a safety helmet, and hired people to push foam bricks on me - would it be the same?

 Survey says no.

 Oh, one last thing on the POWs.
 This was so true, you've could've seen it on  bartcop.com

 The pilots said when the Iraqi soldiers first captured them and slapped them around, they accused
 out boys of having pornography in the chopper.  The Iraqi's help up DVD's such as 101 Dalmations,
 and accused our boys of possessing pornography.

 So Hero 2 looks at Hero 1 and says, "You been holding out on me? Dude, you had porn?"
 And Hero 12 looks at the camera and says, "No, I never had any porn, my wife would kill me!"

  ha ha

 Make him stop!

 Between getting caught by his wife with porn, he'd rather be held captive by an enemy army?
 On her worst days, I'd rather be with Mrs Bart than in the custody of Iraqi soldiers.
 (Please don't tell her I said that...)

 In closing, a salute to these two men.
 Five seconds into the interview you knew these were two corn-fed country boys who embody
 all the good things we'd like in our military.   Loyalty, bravery, adaptability, HUMOR

 Did you hear the trench story?
 The two were running from their Iraqi pursuers, when they came to a river. Hero 1 stepped in.
 The water was ankle high, he said, "So far, so good."  His second step submerged him completely.
 He was surprised and confused and underwater all at the same time, meanwhile Hero 2, knowing
 the Iraqi soldiers were scant seconds behind them said, "Dude, this is no time to be playing tricks."

 Ain't that America?

 Hey, two things to keep in mind.

 You have to support the boys in the military.
 You have to keep your sense of humor.

Just released!

Click on banner for more

"America's Nightmare is an important book and needs to be widely read.”
-- Peter Phillips, Associate Professor of Sociology at Sonoma State University and Director of Project Censored


"If Lincoln freed slaves in the era of all-news channels instead of in 1863,
  they would have granted him half the screen, the rest to Laci Peterson's memorial.
  The discovery of the wheel would have shared time with Scott Peterson's bail hearing."
        --Howard RosenbergObsession drives television news

Warning: Only do this is you want to pay less taxes.
If you want to pay more taxes - do nothing.

What we really need is The BartCop Tax Plan
So simple, *I* can understand it

 GAO Won't Investigate 'Operation Monkey in a Flight Suit'

  Click  Here

 Congress' investigative agency won't look at the costs of  Monkey's "Top Gun" party on an
 aircraft carrier to declare an end to major fighting in Iraq. Comptroller General David Walker,
 head of the GAO, said Tuesday it would cost too much and take too long to do the study.

 They've already used that excuse once before - they couldn't investigate 9-11 or Halliburton,
 or Harken, whatever, because it would cost too much.

 But they had plenty of money when they sent 700 FBI agents to comb thru the trailer parks
 of Arkansas, coaxing little tramps into saying they had sex with our last elected president.

 We could afford a $250 million, never-ending safari into Clinton's zipper because he didn't
 bankrupt the country with billions in giveaways to the super rich, so we punished him for that?
 And the snot-nosed little bastard who never worked a day in his life, who added to America's
 bankruptcy with his little showboating on the Lincoln gets ANOTHER pass?
 Bush will see to it that the country is broke the entire time he's in office.
 So he'll never be held accountable for anything in his stolen presidency?

 America is sick.

 To:  rush@eibnet.com

 Subject: You...

 You go after a (Democrat) President for lying about who's sucking him off, but don't have
 the balls or integrity to go after a (Republican) Appointed President who lies about his reasons
 for sending 145 American soldiers to their deaths so that he and his cronies can line their pockets
 while at the same time cutting veterans' benefits!

 The same Appointed Moron who pushes for tax cuts for the wealthy -- oh, that's right, YOU're one of them
 -- while leaving 95% of the American public paying the bill AGAIN while the rich get richer!

 Why am I NOT surprised?

 Too bad someone with your intelligence and clout has no integrity...
 Al Franken was right, you're only lacking the brown shirt...

 John D

Ann Coulter gets a makeover

 as seen on http://www.fauxnewschannel.com/

 When the Media Fails
    by Mark Weisbrot

  Click  Here

"The last nine months have been truly Orwellian. In a political move beginning last August that was as transparent
  as it was cynical, the Bush team used a manufactured threat from Iraq to remove from the electoral agenda all
  the domestic issues on which it was politically vulnerable. Among these: a series of scandals involving the
  administration's highest officials (including President Bush and Vice- President Dick Cheney), the economy,
  the budget, Medicare and Social Security. The strategy worked, and helped them win both houses of Congress
  for the Republican party. They then invaded Iraq, causing the media and the public to rally even more around
  the President, and lifting his approval ratings. Now the press is talking about whether he can "use the capital
  from the military success to push forward his domestic agenda."

Marty's E! page
 Disinfotainment Today
Alex's Entertainment Report
John Entwistle's guitar auction was seriously underestimated
Movie theater owners think patrons like commercials
'The Smoking Gun' is now a TV show
ABC's fall line-up
Tommy Chong admits he has used pot (!)
(Please God, say it isn't so!)
Disney comps military at their parks
An inflatable church
And, the WB's fall line-up


 Hi Bart:

 What is your opinion about Sierra Club?



 I know of no bad news about the Sierra Club.
 Usually when we get away from K-Drag, we visit the mountains and/or the desert.
 Mrs. Bart gets a letter from a wolf or a bear almost every day.
 These people want to preserve the wilderness and the ecology - can't get more noble than that.

 If you're not a greedy Nazi wanting to rape nature, what's to dislike about the Sierra Club?

     A Democrat fights back
     Fiction,    by Mike Palecek

  Joe Coffee tells his wife that he’s thinking about running for Congress.
"Coffee Joe" speaks out against prisons and the military and no one takes him seriously  - at first.
 Soon, terrified establishment politicians try to stop him.

 Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides a refreshing alternative perspective.

  Click  Here  to order your copy today.

 [Palecek is a former reporter, federal prisoner, and seminarian.]

 Also by Mike Palecek:   Click  Here

 Subject: The Tequila Twins


 I was just reading your comments on the Bush daughters, and thought about something...
 I used to have the same attitude about them that you do - they certainly seemed to have
 gotten their father's brains (and liver). After all, how could _anyone_ be that stupid?
 Did they honestly think they could get away with all the drugs and alcohol and _not_ get caught?

 However, I then found out that they never wanted their father to be elected. This made me wonder
 if they are actually doing this on purpose. After all, just because they are related does not mean that
 they support their father, and after living with them for over two decades, they probably know him
 better than anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if the Secret Service is not only there to guard them,
 but also keeping them from protesting and/or spilling secrets on their dear daddy. Their constant
 use of illicit substances in public may be their only way of protesting.

 Then again, I think it was Julia Roberts who commented that living with Bush could drive anyone
 to drinking, and I can't argue with that statement. There's also the possibility that they were concieved
 just so Bush could look like a good family man, and that they have been ignored and/or abused,
 so that their activities are actually a cry for help and/or attention. (Given what we know about
 Bush's past, none of these scenarios seems too far fetched in my mind.)

 In either case, perhaps we ought to give the girls a break. After all, we don't know what their
 real motives for acting this way really are. Besides, I feel bad for anyone who had to grow up
 with Bush and Pickles for parents.

 Melissa, I thought the most telling sentence in that story was the SS agent asking Kutcher,
 "Will they be staying the night?"
 He should've said, "Christ, I hope so," I mean, how many men in our history have had
 the chance to bag presidential twins?  Hell, he could've taped it and sold copies on eBay.

 But I'll make you a deal:
 I'll stop telling the truth about the Bush twins when FOX News stops lying about Chelsea.

 Subject: question

 i contribute 10 a month from paypal , will i have to spend 10 more to hear the radio show?


 Vin, great question, and the answer is "No."   Matter of fact, it would really help if you
 cancelled your PayPal subscription and re-signed with Perkel's new 2Checkout system

 We have to re-imput each subscriber e-mail manually, and then send an e-mail to the subscriber
 asking them to contact 2Checkout and sign up with their own password and login name.
 That's a time consumer all the way around, and lack of time is our biggest enemy

 Worse yet, people who donated by snail mail almost never mention their e-mail address,
 so that's a bridge we must figure out how to cross. If I had a staff, they would need to hire more people.

 This whole   thing is just days away.
 Tommy Mack lands in two hours.   With this new Perkel set up, we're there!

  Is  worth $10 a month?

  Click  Here   to donate heavy.

 Call  918-493-1500- you have two minutes to rant away.

 Did anything make you mad today?

Tell us about it!     918-493-1500

 VCR Alert

 West Wing finale is tonight, but I won't be watching it.

 Basketball game pre-empt the show again?


 Tornado alert knocked it off the air?

 Probably, but the real reason is Tommy Mack is in the house.
 I didn't pay for his Los Angeles to K-Drag flight so we could watch TV together.

We'll tape WW and watch it after we conquer 
 Damn, his flight's arriving any minute - I'd better get moving.

 Has anybody seen the bridge?

"Bart will be right back to open another can of whoop ass of some helpless ditto-monkey," or
"He has a hammer and he's not afraid to use it - Bart will be back after this,"  or
"Back from cleaning his big boots, BartCop is ready to dispatch another monkey," or
"I pity the fool who brings up 'Somalia' when Bart's in the house," ...stuff like that.

 Send your batches of snappy liners to 

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