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Volume 1068 - Snatch Squad

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 Thursday-Friday,   May 15-16, 2003 


"Al Qaeda is a group of people that they don't care about taking innocent life."
       --Dubya, too stupid to make any sense at all

"I understand small business because I was one."

 Homeland Security Department Used to Track Texas Democrats 

  Click  Here

 Republicans in Washington and Austin apparently used a Homeland Security Department agency to track
 Texas Democratic legislators who left the state to block passage of a GOP-backed Congressional redistricting bill.

 This is the same Homeland Security Department that is supposed to be making America safe from foreign terrorists.
 It's the agency we were told would never be used for domestic political purposes.

 ...the Air and Marine Interdiction and Coordination Center became involved in the Republican search for 51
 Democratic state representatives who went to Oklahoma to block action on a redistricting bill.

"The agency received a call to locate a specific Piper turboprop aircraft. The plane belonged to Pete Laney."
 Laney is one of the Democrats who is fighting against the redistricting bill.

"Laney's plane proved to be a key piece of information because Craddick said it's how he determined that the
 Democrats were in Ardmore. 'We called someone, and they said they were going to track it. I have no idea
 how they tracked it down,' Craddick said. 'That's how we found them.'"

 This is what happens when a crooked president hires a convicted, multiple felon to run national security.

 Who's John Poindexter?
 A retired Navy Admiral, John Poindexter lost his job as National Security Adviser under Reagan,
 and was convicted of conspiracy, lying to Congress, defrauding the government, and destroying
 evidence (which kept Bush out of prison) in the Iran Contra scandal. But since he's a Republican,
 the press granted him a pass and praised his appointment to be spymaster of all of America.

 The B.F.E.E. will break any law, they'll commit any crime, because they know the press and
 the gelding Democrats will stand by and weep, pleading "Please don't hurt us."

 We don't care about freedom, liberty, privacy or fairness in this country - not any more.
 The only thing we care about is the Unelected Fraid getting every damn thing he wants.

 ...and whatever you do - don't ask about the secret 9-11 report Bush is blocking.

 It might tell us what Bush knew about 9-11 before it happened.
 Instead, turn your attention to Clinton's zipper - that's what's important.

 Bartcop Radio is Here!

 Our new membership system is set up and working.  The move to the new system will take several weeks.
 Hopefully the subscriptions generated will pay for the increased costs of transmitting the giant sound files.

 Click  to  Subscribe

 Don't blink, or you'll miss the premier of 


"If those killers, those criminals believe that their bloody criminal acts will shake
  even one hair off the body of our nation and its unity, then they are deceiving themselves."
      --Dubya the hairless, who ran like a scared bunny on September 11th


 Bush 41 had an affair in office, too.
 But since he's a Republican, he had the luxury of saying, "That's insulting,"
 and the entire press world dropped the entire line of questioning  forever.
 Just like Smirk and his cocaine, his abortion, going AWOL and drunk-driving.
 He said, "The past is past," and the entire press corps said, "OK, that seems fair,"
 and then returned to printing more lies about Bill, Hillary and Chelsea.

 Click  Here

 If you're a Democrat, the press will hound you for years and never let up.

 Cable Provider to Run Ad Critical of Bush

  Click  Here

 PHOENIX (AP) - In an about-face, the local branch of Cox Cable has decided
 to air a TV commercial critical of President Bush's tax cut plan.

 There must be a mistake.
 I must;'ve read this story wrong, or maybe the manager is on vacation, because you
 do NOT say anything critical about this unelected fraud - it's illegal to criticize Bush!

 You watch, next issue I'll have to run a retraction that this story was a fake.

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“The administration's lulling triumphalism about Al Qaeda exploded on Monday in Riyadh,
  when well-planned and coordinated suicide strikes with car bombs and small-arms fire killed
  dozens in three housing complexes favored by Westerners, including seven Americans...
  Buried in the rubble of Riyadh are some of the Bush administration’s basic assumptions:
  that Al Qaeda was finished, that invading Iraq would bring regional stability and that a
  show of American superpower against Saddam would cow terrorists.”
        --Maureen Dowd - she hates everybody, this time it's the preening, dress-up Bush boy

 Subject: I want my country back!!!

 Where's my WMD?
 Where's Saddam?
 Where's Bin Laden
 Where's DICK?
 Where's Kenny-Boy?
 Where's the budget surplus?
 Where are the socks from down W's flightsuit?
 Where's our Democracy?

 I want my country back!!!

(You can keep the socks.)


 JRB, your country no longer exist.
 The Democrats gave it to Dubya for a honeymoon present.

 The Things Left Out
  Sometimes they're the most important things of all
    by Tamara Baker as seen on  apj.us

  Click  Here

 If, in America, you get all your news from a typical national wire service such as the AP, chances are you're
 not getting the whole story. It's even worse if you rely on TV and radio, especially cable TV and AM radio.

 The best course of action, I have found over and over again, is that when a big story breaks, it's best to check
 out what the local media are saying about the story. All too often, important, often pivotal bits of information
 are left out when the story is passed on up the corporate media food chain.

 BushCo Reams Nation Good
  No WMDs after all, no excuse for war, too late
  for anyone to care anymore. Ha-ha, suckers

  Click  Here

 See, there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. No WMDs at all. Isn't that great?
 What's more: There never were. Ha-ha-ha. Gotcha!

 No warehouses teeming with nuclear warheads, no underground bunkers packed with vats of boiling
 biotoxins, no drums of crazy-ass chemical agents that will melt your skin and turn us all into drooling
 flesh-eating zombies -- unless, of course, you count the sneering vat of conservative biotoxin that is, say,
 Fox News, in which case, hell yeah baby, we gotcher WMDs right here beeyatch.

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 Subject: GAO

 Hi Bart,

 In regard to the GAO situation, you have to understand how heavy-handed the Bush administration is.
 Something, much to the credit of the Clinton administration, did not do. Correct me if I wrong,
 but I believe the administration threatned reprisal if they investigated Cheney's dealings with Halliburton
 (smaller GAO budget). And if you studied the Theory of Bureaucratic Behavior as I have in school,
 an agency will choose power and money well before they choose conscience or principle in any event.


 Rory, when the B.F.E.E. barks at someone, that someone gets very scared
 and does whatever the B.F.E.E. wants them to do - it's sick and it's sad.

 The press, the Democrats, the GAO, other countries - it's all the same.
 President Never-elected has been pampered this way his whole life.

 Missing in action: The Democratic Party
     by Ernest Partridge

  Click  Here

 The Democratic party has at its disposal a devastating array of issues, foreign and domestic,
 moral and economic, and yet there it sits, at best dumb-frozen and impotent, and at worst
 complicit in the crimes and outrages of the Bush administration.

 In the two short years of the Bush administration, The United States of America has become an
 international pariah as the Bush regime violates treaties, disregards international law, and launches
 an aggressive war on a defenseless nation. This aggression has been justified by a succession of lies
 —Saddam's "hidden weapons," the Saddam-Osama connection, the plagiarized student paper,
 the Nigerian forgery–all these well-known both at home and abroad to be lies.

"We're just trying to help Dubya.
  Sheesh, you're just like Bart!"

 Senator, please resign your senate seat today.
 You have no business cashing your Democratic
 paycheck while you're playing for their team

 Will the real Saddam please stand up?


 The Bush, Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld Challenge

  Click  Here

“It was like a Hollywood film. They cried 'go, go, go', with guns and blanks without bullets,
 blanks and the sound of explosions. They made a show for the American attack on the
 hospital - action movies like Sylvester Stallone or Jackie Chan.”

 There was one more twist. Two days before the snatch squad arrived,
 Harith had arranged to deliver Jessica to the Americans in an ambulance.

Just released!

Click on banner for more

"America's Nightmare is an important book and needs to be widely read.”
-- Peter Phillips, Associate Professor of Sociology at Sonoma State University and Director of Project Censored


"I'm asking the FEMA people and the Governor and the Mayor and everybody said,
  is the government moving fast enough? That's the question that I need to know.
  And some of you said yes, and some of you said no.  ...So one of my visits -- one of
  the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question to people. Because if there's --
  moving too slow, or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening,
  now is the time to find out."
       -- he really can't be as stupid as he sounds - can he?

 From: twogunkid

 Subject: Who are the real chimps?

 Note: He's talking about "Who's Smarter? Hollywood vs. Bush Administration."
            but he failed to send the URL

 So, we're supposed to follow a bunch of high-school dropouts ?
 They know better than our best & brighest ?
 The drop-outs are just soo-o-o-o much smarter - - Really ?!

 Monkey person, you must calm down and address the facts.
 That to which you refer was a load of wild horseshit written by FOX News.
 That means you can expect the craziest distortions and a total retreat from reality.

 Nobody said Bush's team was stupid.
 They are blood-thirsty, power-hungry marauders with delusions of world domination,
 but I'm sure nobody on the left said they were stupid - at least I haven't heard that.

 The Unelected Chimp in a man suit, the "man" they use as a figurehead is extra, extra stupid.
 I doubt he knows they're using him any more than Reagan knew.
 he's so stupid, they refuse to let him talk without a script.

 You should be fair enough to ask yourself these questions:
What is "Hollywood's" motivation to lie?
     Do you think an actor or musical group wants to be blacklisted?
     Do you really think the Dixie Chicks wanted Clear Channel to try to destroy their career?
     Do you think Martin Sheen wants Rush's robots calling NBC constantly?

     On the other hand, Bush and his evil crime family now own the second largest oil reserves on Earth.
     Do you think that might give them a reason to lie?
     Would evil men kill innocent people (and American soldiers) to take over the world?

 Actors. Movie-actors, at that. Is this all The Left has ?

 No, and why would you ask such a stupid question?
 The vast majority of the planet was against this war.  Milliong of people marched in London, Paris and Rome,
 and hundreds of thousands marched in places such as New York and San Francisco.  Why would you think
 only movie stars were against that war?   Did you hear that from Rush or FOX News?

 Lemme just wise you idiots up a little: you America-haters and liberals are about to become extinct.

 Hmmm, sounds like a death threat.
 Better not bring a revolver, Cubby, because The Baby holds 14.

 The public is not with you.
 You are losing more and more influence with each new radical, irrational outburst.

 The people who think Saddam caused 9-11 were pro-war because they trusted Bush when he made those claims.
 Now that Bush owns those oil reserves, we found out Iraq had no WMD.
 That makes Bush a liar and a thief, but the press will never call him on it.

 Your days of subverting American culture are almost at an end. You have but a few more months.
 As long as you're doing a burnout, do it up real nice for the finale, will yah ?
 Go completely berserk for the '04 election and really show us how much you don't friggin' care.
 Be defiant to the end - - just like in the movies!

 ha ha


 I just noticed, your spelling is very good, for a ditto-monkey.
 It's my best guess your knuckles don't quite reach the ground - yet.
 You might still be salvageable, but you'd need courage to change.
 Do you have courage, Mr Twogunkid?

 Would you allow the facts to interrupt your monkey screechings?

 Help is just a click away.
 I'm too busy, myself, but some good-hearted liberal might help you.

 Try not to slip on any banana peels.


Bush has beaten the "Saddam-terror" drum so much, he convinced
more than half of America that Saddam caused 9-11, thus justifying his illegal oil war.
Trouble is, the rest of the world doesn't read America's whore press
...so they know the facts - that's why we are hated around the world today.

 We're getting dozens of cancellations on the PayPal account.

 Hopefully, you're just doing what I asked you to do, transfering your PayPal subscription
 to Perkel's new  2Checkout  auto-sign up subscription whatever, but it's still a little creepy
 seeing rows and rows of cancellations from the thing that puts food on your family.

  My good friend Mike Malloy is blowing up!
 Where's the liberal Rush Limbaugh?
  Mike Malloy's left-wing rants have gotten him bounced from major radio
  markets. Could he draw an audience of millions if he got the chance?

   Does Howdy Doody have a wooden Tom Delay?

  Click  Here

 When the battle tape ended, Malloy switched to a sound bite of  Rumsfeld at a press conference
 lauding the "careful, measured beginning" of the war. Then Malloy returned to the air, saying,
"This is a dark day, this is a filthy day, this is a day for shame."

 And finally, heading into a commercial break, he wove together more combat racket with
 a madrigal-like song by Pink Floyd, "Goodbye, Blue Sky."

 Runaway Democrats in Texas

  Click  Here

 Washington has apparently responded by using the Department of Homeland Security to attempt to reign in these
 wandering Texas Democrats.  If this is true (and it has been reported in reputable newspapers that this did in fact
 happen), then this constitutes a (further) breach of power.  Homeland Security was created not for internal policing
 nor for politics.  It was created solely to provide security against terrorism.  That Washington used this newly formed
 branch of government to pursue members of the opposing political party indicates an abuse of power so unbelievable
 that it staggers one to believe that it could ever have happened in this country.

Marty's E! page
Juan Valdez, Hilary Duff & a donkey
Michael Dare's Dream Job
Barbara Walters will interview Hillary
MTV & VH1 will broadcast '100 Percent NYC' with Norah Jones Saturday night
Isley Brothers have the top album for the 1st time in 30 years
A depressed music market means rock & over-45 rule
Scott Weiland the new Axl Rose?
Fox's fall schedule
Halle Berry broke her arm
A new Titanic exhibit
And the bride that said 'No' to dowry demands
SNL season finale - Dan Ackroyd with Beyonce Knowles
(Last show for Tracy Morgan and Mango)


 When God came to Indy

  Click  Here

 I am thankful that, at least, FOX59 had the decency to not pre-empt regular programming.
 I would watch rather watch a thousand hours the inane "Maury" show, than to watch the
 "GW Bush goes the Indy to get worshiped" show you folks are airing.
 Watching your reporters and anchors play "step `an fetchit" for the president, just isn't entertaining enough

 Simply Truth: the Cardinal Tenet of Journalism
    by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Just so, Whitewater, which became the most elaborate shaggy-dog story in recent American
 history--weakening the White House and empowering Starr's partisan witch hunt--precisely
 because few "disturbing questions" about the Clintons' ill-fated real estate venture ever made
 sense. Exculpatory facts were routinely concealed. An editor with a fraction of Lelyveld's
 self-esteem should have known.

 Alas, he still hasn't mastered the basics, falsely asserting that Jim McDougal "was at the helm
 of the biggest savings and loan association in the state when it became insolvent." In reality,
 Madison Guaranty was one of Arkansas's smaller S & L failures, roughly 1/15 the size of
 First Federal's $950 million cave-in. Nor was McDougal in charge. He'd been removed two
 and a half years before Madison's closure, partly at Bassett Schaffer's insistence.

     A Democrat fights back
     Fiction,    by Mike Palecek

  Joe Coffee tells his wife that he’s thinking about running for Congress.
"Coffee Joe" speaks out against prisons and the military and no one takes him seriously  - at first.
 Soon, terrified establishment politicians try to stop him.

 Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides a refreshing alternative perspective.

  Click  Here  to order your copy today.

 [Palecek is a former reporter, federal prisoner, and seminarian.]

 Also by Mike Palecek:   Click  Here

 Subject: Poor General Ashcroft....

 Poor General Ashcroft.
 Can't find Osama.
 Can't find Anthrax man.
 Can't find Saddam or Kenny-Boy.

 Every time General Ashcroft tries to peek under the blue drapery at Justice's full, luscious bosoms,
 some flunky walks by and he has to pretend he's scouting for his next press conference.
 It's a tough pretense, since Dick won't let him give press conferences anymore.

 He's a frustrated man, General Ashcroft.
 So he chased down Tommy Chong for selling bongs.

 Are we safe yet?

"Go away, and don't bother me, again.
  I'm busy hunting Texas Democrats."

 This whole   thing is just hours away.

  Click  Here   to donate heavy.


 Tommy Mack spent Wednesday rewiring the entire studio from the ground up. When he realized we could
 do nothing without a new sound card, and the stores were closed we turned to the tequila.  Thursday, we
 bought - he installed - a bad-ass sound card that made everything work.  We spent the rest of the day
 in class, turning me into a hack audio engineer with a smart mouth and more courage than brains.

 Today's issue is a little short so I can spend the day collecting ammo to use on Show #1.

 Call  918-493-1500- you have two minutes to rant away.

 Did anything make you mad today?

Tell us about it!     918-493-1500

 Subject: CNN, why do you continually kiss Bush's Ass?

 Hey CNN:

 Bush is a coward and a fraud. His putting on the Military Flight Suit is an insult to every
 veteran who faced real combat.  Bush thought it was worth 145 of our dead soldiers so
 that he could have a photo-op and all you whores do is masturbate to this spectacle.

 I am so sick of you bastards.
 I don't watch CNN at all, anymore.

 The hell with all of you,

 David McRae

 Corporate Shills In Black Robes
    by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 When George W. Bush ran for President three years ago, his strategists and media
 advisers positioned him quite carefully as something new in the political spectrum.
 Seeking to appeal to his party’s rightist base while disguising his extremism, Mr. Bush
 declared himself a  "compassionate conservative."   Now we know him better—and
 as he seeks to pack the federal appellate courts with reactionary judges, his
 ideological disguise is so thin as to be transparent.

 Has anybody seen the bridge?

 We have received a lot of great mortar, but I can't tell from whom.
 The files that started with "sw" are extra good, as are the B.F.E.E. promo songs
 At this point, I guess all I can do is play some and say,
"Whoever sent this needs to send more because that's killer work."

 Some were obviously done by professionals, and we need tons more like those.

 Send your batches of snappy liners to 

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