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David Dvorkin, author of Budspy and three Star Trek novels,
has just released a new science fiction novel - Pit Planet
Click  Here  for more details and to read the first two chapters of this book.

 Wednesday,   May 28, 2003


'"Almost nobody's competent. It's enough to make you cry to see how bad most people are at their jobs.
   If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind."
       --my good friend Kurt Vonnegut

"What does he mean?"

 Amnesty International: 
 Bush's Fake'War on Terror' Has Made World Worse

  Click  Here

 Washington's  Bush's"war on terror" has made the world more dangerous by curbing human rights,
 undermining international law and shielding governments from scrutiny, Amnesty International says.
 If the war on terror was supposed to make the world safer, it has failed, and has given governments
 an excuse to abuse human rights in the name of state security, it said.

"What would have been unacceptable on September 10, 2001, is now becoming almost the norm,"
 Amnesty's Secretary-General Irene Khan told a news conference, accusing Washington of adopting
 "a new doctrine of human rights a la carte."

"The United States continues to pick and choose which bits of its obligations under international law
 it will use, and when it will use them," she said, highlighting the detention without charge or trial of
 hundreds of prisoners in Afghanistan and in a U.S. military camp in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba

"Why are they trying to cause trouble?
 Dubya's a great man doing a great job!"

 Sanator, please resign your Senate seat.
 We don't need another Bush cheerleader.


''Since our last show, Christy Whitman has resigned from the Bush administration.
  It marks the end of two and a half years of clashes over the environment.
  You see, ...she  wanted to save it.
    -- Jon Stewart, the current king

 Subject: Bush 1 and Saddam


 Bush's tacit approval of Saddam's invasion of Kuwait is even worse than you described.

 That's my problem - I'm too fair to the GOP.

 Saddam didn't invade the moment he got permission.  What you left out is that Saddam spent
 several months lining up his troops on the Kuwaiti border and openly stating his intentions.

 During the vast majority of this time, Bush tried to convince congress to sell him more weapons,
 and congress complied.  Finally when Saddam invaded, Bush told Saddam that the pea was under
 a different walnut shell, and the rest is history.  Our boys were murdered by Bush 1 with weapons
 manufactured in the USA.

 Jim H.

 Bush, Willie Nelson Share Philosophy, Texas, Past Drunkenness
    by  Mike Hudson

  Click  Here

 "Since George W. has taken office, the stock market has tumbled from 11,000 to around 8,500. Two million Americans
  have been thrown out of work. The price of gold is at historically high levels and the value of the dollar is at a 20-year low.
  The Bush White House has responded to this unmitigated disaster by advocating a cut in the inheritance taxes that the
  spoiled brat kids of dead rich people have to pay and also a cut in the taxes rich people pay on the income they derive
  from stock dividends. Ari Fleischer said last week that there's an "upturn in the economic trend," whatever that means.
  No wonder he quit his job. No one could lie like that, day in and day out, without wondering, at some point, whether
  or not he might actually be going to hell."

I'm a sue-happy bitch.

 Subject: RE: Bush, Glaspie and Saddam in 1990


 You say Bush wasn't asked about that diplomacy by Glaspie, at Sec. Baker's explicit instruction.
 That's probably true, I don't remember. Baker was pressed a little one it, I know, but I don't know
 if he ever got off the 'it's untrue' line on record. He had complete media protection as everyone's prized
 inside source.

 Glaspie got more questions, and as it became more clear that Saddam's version was correct, she blurted out
 what is probably the most frank admission from that crew.

 She said, 'We didn't think he'd take the whole country." They thought he'd take just the oil fields laying
 across the border, as they planned for and were provoking him to do.


 The press always covers for the Republicans,
 and they fabricate lies about the Democrats.

If somebody shamed me this way - I'd sue them.

Weinerboy, you sure you don't want a piece of me?

ha ha


"At the time the first hijacking, according to law, FAA, it is mandatory within four minutes of a hijacking,
  fighter planes from the nearest air military base go up to scramble, that means go up and force the plane
  down, find out who they are, find out what's happening. One hour and 50 minutes I think it was, no fighter
  plane went up. During that hour and 20 minutes, we lost the two towers, and one side of the Pentagon.
  Why didn¹t they go up? No description from the government, no excuse, a lot of mumbling stories which
  were then retracted, new stories replaced them. That to me was the end of the republic. We no longer had
  a Congress which would ask questions, which it was in place to do of the executive. We have a commander
  in chief who likes strutting around in military uniform, which no commander ever did, as they are supposed
  to be civilians keeping charge of the military. This thing is surrealistic now and it is getting nastier and nastier,
  as we are more and more kept in the dark about those things which most affect us, which are war and peace,
  prosperity and poverty. These are the main things that the government should look after. And we the people
  should be told about them. We have been told nothing. And every voice is silent."
    --Gore Vidal,    United States of Amnesia

"You sound just like Bart!
 Why can't you just lie back and
 praise W like the rest of us?"

 Subject: Howard Dean on Bush Tax Cuts

 c'mon Bart, you post the fluffy "take two tax cuts and call me in the morning" quote from Dean
 and call him soft, yet ignore the full statement Dean made, which sure sounds like someone trying to fight

 Dean statement on latest Bush tax cuts

 Howard Dean released the following statement today in regard to President Bush’s latest round of tax cuts.

"This new round of tax cuts is just another reminder that not only are Republicans irresponsible with taxpayer money,
 they're irresponsible with the truth of what they have done," said former Vermont Governor Howard Dean.

"The President's latest reckless tax cuts should come with a warning label like that on a rearview mirror:

"The gimmicks and book-keeping contortions contained in this bill are breathtaking in their scope and dishonesty.

"This President and the Republicans in Congress continue to redirect scarce resources to the top rungs of the
 economic ladder and away from the urgent needs of our citizens - from health care and prescription drugs,
 to better schools and assistance for the unemployed."


 I didn't take anything out of context.
 I was sent an extra limp quote, and I published it to show how limp the Dems are.
 If Dean had said, "Our never-elected president is lying to you," that would've gotten noticed.

 But the Democrats want to be polite, and sweet, and cuddly.
 They want to lose this 2004 election with people saying, "At least the Democrats have manners."

 I'm so ashamed to be a Democrat.


"Is there really an entity called al-Qaida? Was it in Afghanistan? Does it exist now?
  Osama bin Laden cannot talk on the phone or use the Internet, but he can direct
  communications to the four corners of the world? This is illogical."
     --Syrian President Bashar Assad, who says Washington has manufactured or exaggerated
        the threat posed by al-Qaida in order to paint Muslims as dangerous.

 That can't be.
 For that to be true, it would mean evil men would be willing to kill innocent people
 for no other reason than they wanted to take over the world's oil supply.

 Subject: Bush I's invitation to Saddam to invade Kuwait:

 Hi Bart,

 Here's some more on Bush I's invitation to Saddam to invade Kuwait:

 Bush I told Saddam that he understood that he needed to replenish his treasury after the Iran-Iraq war
 and that he (Bush) would not interfere if he invaded Iraq. On July 25, ambassador to Iraq, April Glaspie,
 met with Saddam Hussein and indicated sympathy for his desire to raise oil prices to rebuild his country
 after the war with Iran=2E Glaspie told him  that the United States had "no opinion" on the border dispute
 and other disputes with Kuwait=2E[4] On the same day, the State Department stopped the Voice of America
 from broadcasting an editorial stating that the United States was "strongly committed to supporting its friends
 in the Gulf"  (Newsweek, October 1, 1990, p24-25.   On July 31, in a talk on Capitol Hill, John Kelly, the
 assistant secretary of state for Middle Eastern affairs, stated that the United States had no formal commitment
 to a defense of Kuwait (in Ridgeway 1991, pp 57-58.   He also stated that the invasion of Kuwait by Iraq was
 "a hypothetical," which "I can't get into" (Ridgeway 1991, p 57-58.   Finally, Kelly stated that events since
 February had "raised new questions about Iraqi intentions in the region," but that "sanctions would decrease
 the government's ability to act as a restraining influence" (Economist, Sept 29, 1990, p 19-21.
 The scene was set for Iraq's invasion of Kuwait.



"There was, I remember, Pearl Harbor. I was a kid then. And within three years of it I enlisted in the army.
  That's what we did in those days; we did not go off to the Texas Air Force and hide. I realize the country
  has totally changed, that the government is not responsive to the people. Either in protecting us from
  something like 9-11, which they should¹ve done, could¹ve done. Did not do. And then when it did happen,
  to investigate, investigate, investigate."
      --Gore Vidal,    United States of Amnesia  


 I have heard that the Republicans just spent $75 million for the 2004 election to hire the company
 they used in Florida to purge the voting rolls of convicted African American felons only this time
 they're said to be planning to purge Hispanics across America.

 In case you've been on the moon, that company purged hundreds if not thousands of voters that
 should not have been purged, but the company was following Kathrine Harris' instructions.
 They warned her of the msitake but so what.
 And Ms. Harris was elected to Congress in '02.  Isn't that special?

 Larry by the Ocean

 Larry, I've heard the same thing.
 Trouble is, the Democrats don't care because they don't want to win.
 I am so ashamed to be in this party of pink tutu losers.

 Subject: Radio show #2


 Didn't get a chance to hear your show #1, but I'll take your word how badly it sucked and skip it.
 Ha ha ha.  Show #2 did indeed rock though.  I thought you spoke really smoothly and intelligently
 ...... despite that IQ of yours.  Seriously, you sounded pretty professional for only 2 shows.
 Especially liked the red-ass Rush was given.  Good stuff!


 Geoff, thanks.
 I imagine we'll do some Rush red-assing in every radio show, but it sure gets tiring quick, doesn't it?
 He can tell a dozen lies in a minute, so a little bit goes a damn long way.
 We're still trying to tweak the format into something that works.
 I got some complaints about "too much music," but there was only 60 seconds of gratuitous music.
 For those who can't get the radio show:
 Once we get out tech situation settled, (everybody wants the reading job) we expect more people
 to be able to listen, but for those who just can't get it no matter what, we're flirting with the idea of
 sending out "best of" CDRs thru snail mail, once we have something we're semi-proud of.


"It's odd that it was the day and time that we wanted. It's fine all week, except for that one period."
     --Rep. Kevin Bailey, D-Houston, chairman of the House General Investigating Committee,
        on the five-hour gap in a Capitol security tape that was given to a House committee investigating
        how authorities handled the Democratic walkout in Texas on May 12,

 The whole country is turning into shit.
 I don't know how you non-drinkers handle it.

 New Flash movie from the sued-by-Weiner folks at Blah3.com

  Click  Here

 Hey Weiner, your career's in the toilet because you suck donkey butt!
 Don't blame and sue others, blame your own Nazi ass.

 Subject: Complementary Pass to NYNMA's "Movers & Shakers: News & Politics"

 Dear Nominee,

 On behalf of NYNMA, congratulations on being nominated as a "Mover & Shaker" in News & Politics.
 As a nominee, your company will receive one complementary registration to NYNMA's panel discussion,
 "Movers & Shakers in News & Politics" on Wednesday, May 28th. The event, hosted by Phillips Nizer
 LLP, will be held at the law firm's offices at 666 Fifth Avenue in Manhattan from 6:00-8:30PM.

 You can tell these guys are Democrats - I got this invitation at 2 PM today.
 I couldn't get to Fifth Avenue by 6PM if I had a private jet.

 Subject: AWOL Help

 Bart -
 Regarding George W. Bush's military shame and his being AWOL and deserting his military duty
 during the Vietnam war (1972-1973) I need to ask you if you can ask your readers for help in
 locating a picture of the torn document that the Bush campaign used rebut desertion/going AWOL.
 This document was originally displayed on George Magazine, which is now out of business,
 so we are hoping that one of the Bartcop faithful might have saved it...

 Check with  awolbush.com


"I would love to get together with him at Doe's Eat Place or an appropriate venue."
      --Ken Starr, when asked how he would react if he ran into Clinton.

 I'd sure like to see Clinton knock that pervert on his lying ass.

 Subject: BartStocks rules!

 Oh! My! God! These guys nailed it. BartStocks provides readable,
 understandable, and comprehensible commentary on monetary policy
 without going over my head or boring me silly.


if you're interested

 Position One:
 We could really use a PC guru and a Mac guru.

if you're interested

 Position Two:

 We have gotten many, many, many volunteers for this position.
 Could we see some of your work?

 If you've read any of these books,

 Any by James Carville or Paul Begala
 Mark Crispin Miller's "The Bush Dyslexicon"
 Arianna Huffington's "Pigs At The Trough"
 Susan McDougal's book.
 William Rivers Pitt's books;
 Jim Hightower's books
 Molly Ivins' books
 "The Coming Democratic Majority"
 Hell, I'd like to read reviews of Conason & Lyons Hunting of the President

 Send a book report with the Top Ten Quotes and things we should know about the book
 Still working on the Mac and PC guru thing...

 Subject: I've been shocked

 Hi there!

 I got your email from Helen and I want to tell you one story happened few days ago.

 Spammers - they always have such bad sentence structure.
 It's "happened a few days ago."  Those articles count!

 Alice works with me in a one office for a long time. She is really cute and incredibly hot.
 So hot that sometimes I can't speak when I see her. I always dreamed of date with
 her, but she even didn't look at me.

 I "dreamed of date?"
 Are we from Japan?
 She even didn't look at me?
 Ditto-monkeys can do better then this - some of them, anyway.

 But last week I've found the site that offered Human Sex Pheromones.

 ha ha
 It was AbsoPherms.  I couldn't believe that it really works.
 But I decided to buy a few bottles for test and now I can say: "It really works!!!"

"For test" really worked?
 Dude, one question - which side of the road to you drive on?

 When I received my order I tried it before going to job.
 When I've met Alice near our office she smiled to me. And during this day she looked at me.
 I saw that something occurs.

 ha ha
 Reading this spammer's e-mail is more fun than fake sex pheromones.

 At the end of the day occurred miracle.

  ha ha
 Make him stop!
 Does anyone remember Murder by Death?
 Every time Charlie Chan said "Must answer door,"
 Truman Capote would counter, "Must answer THE door."

 She said that she wanted to tell me something and... suggested me to go to her home.
 Of course I agreed.

 I couldn't believe in it. I didn't do anything for it. I just did my work that I do usually.
 But Alice came to me magnetically.

 ha ha
 Rust flakes will do that.
 Reach for the stars, Dude.

 I will not tell you a details. But I just want to say when we came to her home we talked some time.
 And after she asked me..... to xxxx her xx XXX XXXXX!  I have been SHOCKED....
 She really wanted it. I saw it in her eyes.  It was unforgettable night.

 Hey Charlie, "It was AN unforgettable night," but you're just lying like Ari Fliesher, trying to steal my money
 Dude, by the way, Alice has several STDs.

 GO HERE if you want to order this stuff too. I advise you to try it. It does the work for you :)

 Gee, and I thought sex was between two people...

Marty's E! page
Todd Rundgren rerun on Dave
Kirstie Alley voted for Bush, though she liked Gore better
Fresh BAGnews
Robert Plant in NYC
A pardon for Lenny Bruce?
The return of Henry Grimes
Faux's military pundit is suing them
4 fired from 'Boston Public'
Another fake reality show - 'Boy Meets Boy'
And, Marcel Proust


     A Democrat fights back
     Fiction,    by Mike Palecek

  Joe Coffee tells his wife that he’s thinking about running for Congress.
"Coffee Joe" speaks out against prisons and the military.  At first, they laughed.
 Soon, terrified establishment politicians try to stop him.

 Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides a refreshing alternative perspective.

  Click  Here  to order your copy today.

 [Palecek is a former reporter, federal prisoner, and seminarian.]

 Also by Mike Palecek:   Click  Here


"The president had eight years, was elected twice, and his presidency was very eventful.
  My small role was a modest part of that. It was such an unpleasant time."
       --Ken Starr, whore-for-hire, specializing in reversing democracy

"Kenny is my boy, well,...me and Paula Jones."

 Call  918-493-1500- you have two minutes to rant away.

 Did anything make you mad today?

Tell us about it!


 Click  to  Subscribe

 This space left blank intentionally.

 Led Zeppelin - How the West Was Won
  CD review by Rolling Stone ****

  Click  Here

 What has been the Achilles' heel in Led Zeppelin's otherwise formidable catalog?
 The lack of a killer live album -- The wait is over.

 How the West Was Won is a three-CD set recorded during a 1972 California swing,
 and it captures Zep in prime swagger, fresh off their masterpiece, Led Zeppelin IV,
 with Houses of the Holy just around the corner.    Onstage, Jimmy Page's frayed,
 frazzled guitar playing dispenses with such studio niceties as precision and restraint.

 ha ha

 Robert Plant uses his voice like a sledgehammer, a saxophone and an air-raid siren while
 channeling his heroes -- everyone from John Lee Hooker to Gene Pitney - on "Whole Lotta Love."

 For those pondering the possibility of a Led Zeppelin reunion, here's the last word on why it
 can't happen: In the studio, Page and Jones may have been Zep's guiding forces and Plant the
 mighty mouthpiece, but onstage, no one brought down the hammer of the gods like Bonham.

 Interesting review - but I have to tell you a story first:  Our water heater had a migraine
 and spilled water all over the laundry room and Mrs. Bart's kitchen.   I'm in deep trouble.

 Luckily I got an issue up yesterday before the wrecking crew got here. They used carpet knives
 and prying tools to remove the carpet in the kitchen. (Who thought it was a good idea to put carpet
 in the damn kitchen?  Did they do that because carpet absorbs spaghetti sauce spills so well?)
 So after hours of water-vacs and prying up carpet, the black squishy stuff under the carpet and the linoleum
 tile underneath, they left me with four Drieaz D-6 Turbo Dryer air blowers screaming their lungs out and
 a Drizair 120 Professional Dehumidifier, which is slightly smaller than the refrigerator.
 It's like living on Runway F-ing Nine.   Mrs Bart is more freaked than the cats.
 In closing (crowd passes the hat), with the constant roar of the four Pratt & Whitney's in the kitchen,
 we turned on the new Zeppelin DVDs trying to stunt it, and my instant reaction from only seeing
 video snippetts was that drummer John Bonham was the outstanding, shining star of this DVD.  
 The others (ha ha - Page and Plant are 'the others') were great, but Bonham commanded drums.
 RollingStone boy heard only the audio CDs, and he came to the same conclusion.


 But  today, the demolition crew is coming back, and we have to deal with city inspectors
 and carpet/tile people and insurance adjusters and Demo-boy found a roof leak and on and on.
 The cats are freaked, Mrs Bart wants me to put her in a hotel.

 ...but life is still great.

 I have best friends going thru life's worst right now,
 ...and I'm whining about water in the kitchen?

 Since I was 16, I've lived by the motto
"Have a good time today, because tomorrow might be your 9-11."

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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