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Volume 1079 - Bean Eating Nancy boys

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 Friday,   May 30, 2003


"For bureaucratic reasons we settled on one issue, weapons of mass destruction,
  because it was the one reason everyone could agree on."
   --Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Defense Secretary and deadly, lying whore
      WMD just a convenient excuse for war, admits Wolfowitz  

 They openly admit they fabricated a fake war,
 and the American whore press smiles and looks the other way.

"They told me I had to lie..."

 Clinton: Pres. Terms Limits Could Be Changed

  Click  Here

 Bill Clinton says in the future, a former two-term president should be able to return
 to office later in life — but the Constitution would have to be amended.

"It wouldn't affect me, but for future generations the 22nd amendment should be modified,"
 Clinton said Wednesday during an appearance at the John F. Kennedy Library and Museum.

 That sentence in bold?

 I heard FOX whores talk about Clinton's quote.
 I heard the MSGOP whores talk about Clinton's quote.
 I heard the vulgar Pigboy talk about Clinton's quote.
 I heard the Hannity whore talk about Clinton's quote.

 ...but not one of them mentioned the line in bold.

 They spun the quote as, "Clinton wants to be president again," which is exactly
 the opposite of what Clinton said, but whores don't tell the truth very often, do they?

 Profiles in Spinelessness
   by Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

 These dithering poltroons are so paralyzed by the fear of doing or saying something that could be turned
 against them in GOP attack ads they've rendered themselves utterly impotent when it comes to mounting
 any kind of challenge to President Bush on the two most important issues of the day: tax cuts and Iraq.

 Exhibit A comes from Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle who, when asked on Meet the Press why the
 Democrats didn't offer a bold, full-throated alternative to the Bush tax cut plan, including the repeal of the
 2001 cuts and a guaranteed balanced budget, timorously explained: "Well, we -- you got to take it one step at a time."

 You do -- why? Is this an AA meeting? Bush doesn't take it one step at a time. He's comfortable leading by leaps
 and bounds. And he's taking us along with him -- straight over a cliff. We're facing a trillion dollars of new debt,
 incurred by a president with the worst economic record since Herbert Hoover, and the best the leader of the
 opposition party can muster is a meaningless cliche? Quick, get that man a dose of political Viagra!

 At least get the blood flowing… somewhere.

"But I'm too afraid to lead.
 I just wanna be George's friend."

 Senator, do your party and your country a favor and resign.
 The Democrats need a wartime consigliere, not a scared bunny.

 Road Map For America
   by W. O. Coach

  Click  Here

 Put aside all the abandoned treaties, spy plane fiasco, submarine disaster, failed Argentinean coup, 9/11 cover-up,
 mess in Afghanistan et al, let's just focus on Iraq for a few paragraphs. The United States of America pre-emptively
 attacked a third world country of less than 30 million people which had no chance of defending itself. The reason
 we were given was weapons of mass destruction and their immediate threat to the US.

 Colin Powell, perhaps the most respected official of those White House neo-con ideologues, was caught lying
 to the UN Security Council with his "smoking gun" plagiarized essay from a college student and clumsily forged
 documents suggesting Niger had sold  Iraq nuclear fission rods.

 Niger? Niger has nuclear technology?

 Halliburton's Gov't Contracts Total $600M

  Click  Here


 Those are phony numbers for public consumption.
 Halliburton's contracts total several billion dollars. and who knows if they're even doing the work?

 If taxpayers knew how much the B.F.E.E. was stealing, "the terrorists would win," they say,
 so Bush and Unka Dick are helping themselves to the Treasury, then borrowing money using
 our signature on the loan papers to shore up their base with tax cuts for their super-rich friends.

 America has never been screwed as much as the B.F.E.E. is screwing us now.

"Stop these outrageous lies!
 Dubya would never take advantage.
 He's a war-time hero fighter pilot!
 Didn't you see him land on the Lincoln?"

 Senator, please resign your senate seat.
 America needs strong leaders for today's troubles.
 You can't fight for us while being the top cheerleader for the B.F.E.E.

 You know who should advertise on ?
 I mean besides you.


 I'll bet over the years we've had 5 bands or musical sites pay horrendously overpriced retail for a single
 day's ad on  and you couldn't hear the band, you could just read descriptions of the music.

 Commercials on start at just $11,and you can play your music.
 Send  $11 for each ad you'd like to hear on sure-to-be-spectacularly popular
 to   PO Box 54466   Tulsa, OK 74155  along with your CD.


 Your banner on  now for as little as $40.
 That's two days of ads for just $40

 The page keeps getting bigger, the ads prices keep getting cheaper.
 Ads are going for just $11 on the sure-to-be-spectacularly popular
  ...what a country!

Ol' Bart to get in on these fun summer deals.
 We'll put together a package for you that would make Tommy Lee proud.. takes on the Goat-in-Chief

  Click  Here

  They fight hard over there - they's why Weinerboy is suing them

 (Because I keep getting worry mail)

 I've been entering subscribers into the new system each day as they come in.

 If your subscription comes in, say, on the third of the month, I'll transfer you that day.
 If your date passes and you don't get a welcome e-mail from 2Checkout,
 contact me and I'll do you manually. know what I mean.

(My stalkers just had to change their pants...)

 So far, there's nothing in the "Members" section.
 We figure the big switchover for June 20.

 So far, there's nothing to miss.

 I figure we'll webcast the radio show for free until the first person writes to say,
"Bart, I can't stand it - you must charge me something for this great radio experience!"

 One thing I can guarantee?
 It'll be the biggest internet tequila treehouse webcast run by a well-armed Okie named Bart.

 Remember the "Great Flood" we had at BartCop Manor last weekend?

 I'm in the middle of a scam.
 The insurance company told me to call "THE Restoration Company."
 I did, they showed up as dependable as Halliburton or Brown & Root.or
 Boot & Scoot or whatever those shell corporations of Cheney's are called.

 Truth is, the mighty Mississippi didn't run thru BartCop Manor for a week.
 We're talking about a 40 gallon water heater with an extra blowhole.

 So this "Restoration Company" shows up and declares BartCop Manor a federal disaster area.
 I didn't see the need, myself, but they seemed so sure, ...and what do I know?.

 I just finished a bottle of Chinaco Anejo - and how often to I say that?

 Sidebar in a Sidebar:
 When Tommy Mack was at BCM, we drank God's flowers, and something happened.
 I'd earlier offered him a 1/3 shot of the very famous Chinaco Anejo Wildflowers bottle from what, ...2000?
 He sipped a bit, looked at me and said, "Son of Christ, that's so much better than regular Chinaco."
 An hour later, ...Tommy starts repeating, with great urgency:
"Do you have a funnel? I need a funnel, quick!"

 I was clueless - but as it turned out, he loaded his Chinaco snifter with the last of the Chinaco Anejo Wildflowers.
 Since we were toasting God's good taste in spirits, I had a clear head and Funnelboy saved the day.

 So, it turns out, the guys in charge of fixing the place get to divine their own, no-other-bids repair estimate.
 The Pratt & Witney's have been here since f-ing Tuesday, and each day, these guys come by with these
 hand-held "moisture detectors," and they rub it on the wall and say, "Yep, it's still wet,"

 It's slightly bigger than a credit card, and they put their thumb on the buzzer,
 then scan the walls to see if any moisture is present.  "Buzz!  Buzz!"

 ha ha

 Isn't this the plot to a Beverly Hillbillies episode in 1967?

 The buzzer goes off when they press the button!!

 That's proof that three more monster fans are needed for a few more days.

 If you had hungry kids, and they asked you how many fan days it would take
 to dry a Pepsi spill, wouldn't you be tempted to say, "At least ten?"
 This is obviously a scam, and I want a piece of it or I'll expose the whole deal on my web site.

 ha ha

 I swear, every word is true.

 So Thursday, Insurance Inspector #6 showed up, and asked me how much damage there was.
 I'm sorry, but I do really, really well with open-ended questions.

 I told him "There was so much damage, I couldn't hardly believe it."
 He wrote that down - which means he's in on the scam, I've seen it a hundred times.
 (I'm old)

 Then, swear to Koresh, he says, "How many fans did they need, and for how many days?"

 Then this crooked idiot tells me the clean-up company gets paid
 according to the equipment needed to do the job.

 They get paid by the number of fans needed per day?
 This must be designed by Catholics!
 This rip-off couldn't be more transparent if Smirk was wearing it.

 Since I had the situation dicked (sorry, a mid-western, Catholic, cordical island colloquialism )
 I played the game to see how far the envelope would stretch.

 I told the truth - four Pratt & Whitneys for two days, three P&Ws four three days, plus the
 bad-boy industrial de-humidifier that put out like Ann Coulter at a Freedom Fries convention.

 But wait...
 That's a breach of bookkeeping ethics.
 You don't ask the Okie Rube what was supplied,  - you ask the supplier.
 So, naturally, it took tons and tons of equipment.
 This is how the B.F.E.E. works - well, this and murdering the innocent.

 What a scam!
 If I get $200 for every Band Aid on Bobby's knee, how many Band Aids will Bobby need?


 You don't ask the guy receiving the check if a bigger check wouldn't be better.

 Are you ready for the "piece of resistance?" (boycotting the French.)
 He says, "So, many hours did you spend cleaning up this terrible mess?"

 ha ha

 Koresh - that's a blank check

 I, being partly honest, started low-balling it.
"A couple of hours."

"Your sure? Looks like a big mess..."

"Well, I mean it was a nasty-ass mess for 2-3 days, but it's not like we spent..."

"So, Mrs. Bart helped, too? You BOTH spent time cleaning up this awful mess?"

 ha ha

 He's gotta be working on a percentage of the scam's gross profits.
 I wonder if he ever worked for the Texas GOP?

 He finally cajoled me into saying we spend 3 hours each on the spill, which means six billable hours.
 That's for sure true, and it's lowball considering the beating I took from Mrs. Bart.

 Like a good neighbor, my friend was coaching me into swindling his employer.

 ...and then it got worse...

 They're using me as their Tommy Dimwit.
 This is such a scam, and they've made me the lynchpin
 of their defense if they get caught.

 Can you imagine how cool this would be if my name came up?
 Oh Lord, let them put me on the witness stand and ask me questions - please?

 Have I told the story about testifying in the tow-truck trial?
 It was my only court experience as a hostile witness.

 So, the BIG insurance companies are running scams, using Okie rubes as their witness.
 They think I'll lie for them if they get caught .

 I blame Smirk.
 The whole country is bankrupt, and people are stealing to try to make ends meet.


"There is a reason why all the Dumb-Ass Dubya jokes have been drying up lately. ...people have stopped
  mocking him because he suddenly seems heroic. The fact is that people have stopped laughing at Bush
  because he's no longer the village idiot. He's the village tyrant now. After what he did to Iraq, after he lied
  to this country to persuade it to go to war, nothing he ever does will be funny anymore."
      --David Vest,   It's Not So Funny Any More

Sidney Blumenthal parrots Hillary’s paranoid mutterings
   by Clinton-Hater Dick Morris

  Click  Here

"A second term is a terrible thing for a president to waste. Sidney Blumenthal's new book makes clear how
 totally Bill Clinton wasted it. He was a one-term president who lived in the White House for eight years.
 The Clinton Wars speaks not about the war on terror or the war on drugs or even the war on poverty.
 Instead, it’s about the wars that occupied Clinton in his second term: on Paula Jones, on Kenneth Starr,
 on the Washington Post's Susan Schmidt, on Matt Drudge, on Clinton's women and the war to get Hillary
 into the Senate. For those who haven’t plumbed the depths of the Clintons' denial mechanisms and their
 obsession with petty revenge, Blumenthal’s book offers a road map into their distorted perceptions of
 reality. Like an account of a hallucination, he takes us into a world where Monica Lewinsky blackmails
 Clinton into sex, Whitewater is the epitome of innocence and Starr the personification of evil."

 What a partisan idiot this toe-sucker is.
He's trying to get the reader to think Bill Clinton started these wars against Starr, Jones & Drudge.
    What a whore!  All Clinton wanted to do was work hard as the president, while these monkeys
     rooted around inside his zipper looking for a way to destroy him.
Only a toe-sucking whore would call Clinton "obsessed with petty revence."  If anything, Clinton
     was the most gracious president in recent history, as Gingrich, O'Reilly and others have witnessed.
     Meanwhile, Bush has made our allies into our enemies and refuses to talk to Chirac or Schroeder
     on the phone. That's the definition of obsession with petty revenge.
If anything, Hillary understated"the vast, rigft wing conspiracy." She coined that phrase the first
     week of the Ginrich-directed scandal, and she had to way to know then what Lyons & Conason
     and Brock revealed in their later books.
It's a fact that Monica tried to blackmail Clinton, according to the semen-stained Starr Report.
     That's why Monica called Clinton, "that big creep," because he refused to screw her.  is one of the few places where you'll see horseshit like this refuted. Bush's good puppy press
     wants you to think Clinton wasted his second term, when all he wanted to do was work. While Clinton
     was focusing on the economy and firing cruise missles at terrorists, the GOP was busy hunting cock.
and they're doing it with the help of the TV networks, talk radio and the NY Whore Times.

 I say we fight back.

 I think building  into a powerhouse is a worthwhile goal.
 Click  Here  to subscribe.

 Help build the anti-Bush network into something the media can't ignore and can't dismiss.


"After watching the British reports, I found the American ones jarring. In my hotel, MSNBC always seemed to be on,
  and I was shocked by its mawkishness and breathless boosterism. Its anchors mostly recounted tales of American
  bravery and derring-do...Before arriving in Doha, I had spent hours watching CNN back home. Paula Zahn looked
  and talked like a cheerleader for the US forces;  Wolf Blitzer politely interviewed Washington's high and mighty,
  seldom asking a pointed question. None of them, however, appeared on the broadcasts I saw in Doha. Instead,
  there were Jim Clancy, a tough-minded correspondent, Michael Holmes, a soft-spoken Australian, and Becky
  Anderson, a sharp and inquisitive British anchor. This was CNN International, the edition broadcast to the world
  at large, and it was far more serious and informed than the American version..."
    --Michael Massing,    The Unseen War

 Wait, you mean there's an intelligent version of CNN?
 One that tells the fucking truth?
 How can I sign up for that?

if you're interested

 Position Two:

 We have gotten many, many, many volunteers for this position.
 Could we see some of your work?

 If you've read books by Carville, Begala, Mark Crispin Miller, Arianna Huffington,
 Susan McDougal. William Rivers Pitt, Jim Hightower, Molly Ivins, Conason, Lyons etc.
 Send a book report with the Top Ten Quotes and things we should know about the book

 Also, Jessica suggested we get reports on whore writers like Coulter, Goldberg and others.
 To avoid feeding the monster, maybe these books could be read for free via library?

if you're interested

 Position One:
 We are still compiling a list of PC and Mac gurus.

 Now and then I'll need help with tech stuff, but the first important thing is to find out
 why some people get BartCop Radio just fine, and some get nothing but "buffering."

 I got Mike Malloy just fine at the car lot using the 56K modem, but he was streaming
 and we're (for now) just putting out the show on instant-load MP3s.  If size is a problem,
 we can break them down to maybe 5 meg segments. But I'm hoping if a tech hears from
 a few people with similar problems, a pattern can emerge and everyone can hear who wants to.

 Maybe some of you tech people could compile a list of things to check if BCR isn't working?

Click  Here  to see the beginnings of the tech list. 

 Our first goal is to assist people who can't get BartCop radio satisfactorily.
 If YOU are having trouble, contact a tech and if the two of you work it out,
 have the tech contact us with the answer so we can post it.


"It used to be a joke that when a legislator was contemplating some scurvy piece of special interest legislation,
  he would go to ridiculous lengths to make the spurious claim, "And so you see, members, we must do this for
  the sake of the cheeldrun of Texas." Man, you stand up in the Texas House today with a bill that really will help
  the children of Texas and you will not get a single Republican vote. They are playing a different game. They are
  out to take government apart, and then they turn around and say, "See, I told you government doesn't work."
  And they believe in all this with a self-righteous certitude that has to be seen to be believed...During the debate
  on tort reform, Democrats took to referring to the part of the gallery where the big business interests lobbyists
  sit as "the owners' box." It sure ain't the people's legislature."
  -- Molly Ivins  Government, Inc

 Led Zeppelin on The Today Show with Matt Lauer

  Click  Here

Marty's E! page
A question for Michael Powell
Bono's words to 'Ave Maria'
Expanded TV listings
Russia's 'James Bond'
Angelina Jolie & Billy Bob's divorce is final
Peter Frampton
'Meow TV'
NASCAR's first all woman pit crew
Mike Tyson
And, an albino alligator


     A Democrat fights back
     Fiction,    by Mike Palecek

  Joe Coffee tells his wife that he’s thinking about running for Congress.
"Coffee Joe" speaks out against prisons and the military.  At first, they laughed.
 Soon, terrified establishment politicians try to stop him.

 Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides a refreshing alternative perspective.

  Click  Here  to order your copy today.

 [Palecek is a former reporter, federal prisoner, and seminarian.]

 Also by Mike Palecek:   Click  Here


“Iran is part of the Axis of Evil. Iran is harboring terrorists: Al-Qaeda terrorists.
 The Bush Doctrine requires the toppling of this regime. It's just that simple.”
    --the vulgar Pigboy

 No Rush, Iran has oil.
 That's how simple it is.

 Answering the GOP's Supply Side Nonsense
  Robert Reich comes out for the BartCop Tax Plan

  Click  Here

 The only way to boost demand is to put more money in more people's wallets through a tax cut
 (a refundable credit or a temporary cut in payroll taxes, or both) for working people of modest incomes,
 totaling more than $1,500 per family, both this year and next. Add in an emergency $50 billion bailout
 of the states. Most are now cutting vital social services and school aid because they're broke.

 Hey Bob, no need to mention the author of that plan.
 I've always said, "Get what you want, take what you need."

 Call  918-493-1500- you have two minutes to rant away.

 Did anything make you mad today?

Tell us about it!


 Click  to  Subscribe

 Bombs Bursting in Air - Or Land

  Click  Here

 By warning “dangerous regimes and terrorists” they cannot threaten the United States with
 the world’s most destructive weapons. Or the U.S. will once again use the world’s much
 more destructive weapons.

 Even though history will clearly show 15 Saudis armed only with Visa cards and box cutters
 created more globalisation destabilisation than anyone since Hitler. Or at least until Bush
 requested $399.1 billion for the military in fiscal year 2004.

 I know what you're thinking...

 You're thinking, "This is the best damn issue of  ever.
 If only it had a  then it would be a true masterpiece."

 Click  Here  to read today's 

 (For Democrats, that means put the mouse arrow over
  the "Click  Here" and press the left button.)

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

   Shirley --.Call BartCop!!   Shirley --.Call BartCop!!
Shirley should call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
    That would be cool.

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