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Volume 1083 - Major Decadence

Cheap - $40 for 30,000 views.
Nobody gives you a deal like that.

 Thursday   June 5, 2003
 Bush's WMD problem - Clinton's fault 

   by Rich Lowry, a pig's pig

  Click  Here

 Who were the political leaders who, according to critics of the Iraq war, perpetrated
 this fraud on the American people by making overblown warnings about Saddam's WMD?
 Respectively, Clinton, Albright, Cohen, Sandy Berger, Daschle and Kerry.

 I don't have the time to read Rich Lowry's drivel. No sense getting into it with a man
 who sometimes makes Ann Coulter look sane, but suffice it to say Clinton didn't get
 any Americans killed, he didn't murder thousands of Iraqis, he didn't steal their oil.

 Clinton was busy protecting Amertica and defending the Constitution while the GOP
 had their head inside his zipper spending millions looking for crimes that didn't exist.

"I'm glad nobody's ever looked into my past - it's a doozy."

 Subject: Have we forgotten the Debt?

 For as long as I can remember, the national debt and the current deficit were front page issues.
 In spite of our spending we used to be a nation who believed that it was wrong to run the country on borrowed money.
 Now we are approaching deficits close to half a trillion dollars a year and no one is screaming about it.

 How is this possible? Are we a nation in denial?
 Have we totally abandoned any notion of fiscal responsibility?
 What will we do when it comes time to pay up?
 How long can we continue to ignore reality?

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.

 Marijuana 'Guru' Walks Free in California

  Click  Here

 Ed Rosenthal, the self-proclaimed "Guru of Ganja,"walked free Wednesday after
 a federal judge sentenced him to one day in prison for a marijuana conviction.

 Rosenthal, 58, was found guilty in February of growing more than 100 plants in
 an Oakland warehouse and could have faced as much as 60 years behind bars.

 60 years for growing illegal, harmless flowers?
 What century are we in?

 Rosenthal had argued his actions were legal under a 1996 law passed by California
 voters that permits marijuana use for medical purposes. He also said he was acting
 as an agent for the city of Oakland's medical marijuana program. But U.S. District
 Judge Charles Breyer did not allow the jury to hear those arguments.

 The jury found Rosenthal guilty of marijuana cultivation, but several jurors later said
 they would have acquitted him if they had known he was growing the plants for
 patients in Oakland.

 It's extra scary when a judge tells you you can't argue the truth. This doctor wasn't selling pot
 to kids on the street corner. He was helping his patients cope with keeping food down.
 This country would rather sick people go thru torture than get relief from an illegal flower?
 That's religious insanity for you.
 That's not supposed to happen in a free country.


 Subject: none

 Hi, I just have a question.
 Is your name pronounced Weener or Whiner?
 Either way, it fits.
 You're both.

 ha ha

 I pronounce Weiner's name "Sacless."

 Wait - I tried to go to and found this:

 Where is Savage?
 Right Now the Station that I made famous has chosen to take me off the air out of spite.
 Beginning July 1, 2003, I will be heard again in the San Francisco Area.
 Right now you may be able to hear me on 650AM on the dial (KSTE) in my regular
 time slot between 4-7PM broadcasting live, from Sacramento, California.

 Very soon, the whole story will be told. In the meantime, you can support The Savage Nation
 and me by sponsoring the organization and telling your friends to listen to me on KSTE 650AM
 on the dial, until July 1, 2003.

 Hey Weiner, that's a LIE.
 They took you off the air becasue you're a f-ing loser.
 They're ashamed to be associated with a loser who's been punk'd by

 And since you're a sue-happy c_nt, why not sue me for telling the truth?

 ha ha

 Weiner, you don't want no piece of me.
 I'll treat you like I'm a Brit and you're my Iraqi POW.

 ha ha

 Luxury SUV Buyers Win Desperately Needed Tax Relief

  Click  Here

 Drivers of luxury sport-utility vehicles who sat through gridlock traffic over the Memorial Day
 weekend now have a real reason to celebrate.  President Bush has signed into law the Jobs and
 Growth Reconciliation Act, which increases deductions to $100,000 for vehicles weighing
 over 6,000 pounds. So now, instead of suffering the humiliation of a cramped "ordinary" SUV,
 drivers are encouraged to Super Size to a more roomy ride.

 Jose Cuervo Especial

 I don't think I've ever regurgitated in public until yesterday.
 Even back in my heavy drinking days, I was always discreet.
 I was in a store where they sold magazines, and I had some time to kill.

 I saw a magazine I'd never seen before called RAMP.
 It has a half-naked babe on the cover - that caught my eye.
 Then to her right it said, "Great Tequilas Take Over," so I picked it up.

 Because of my detective training, I was eventually able to find the article,
 and when I did, I saw this almost-offensive-as-Smirk's-presidency sentence.

"Jose Cuervo Especial has a fine, full bodied flavor that reminds one of the finest cognac."

 ...all over the bookstore floor.

 This was obviously paid for by the sluts that shill cheap-ass vodka called Cuervo.
 We live in a whore country where the liars are allowed access to printer's ink.
 When I become president, lying about fine tequila will be at least a misdemeanor,
 and a second offense would put the publisher behind bars.

  I'm ashamed to live in a country where viscious lies can be printed as truths.

 Subject: CNN Breaking News

 New York Times announces resignation of Executive Editor Howell Raines,
 Managing Editor Gerald Boyd following Jayson Blair scandal.

 If the Whore Times would start printing the truth,
 they wouldn't have to fire their top-ranking employees,
 but what are the odds of that happening?

 Reminder:  has more credibility than the New York Whore Times.
 If you don't believe that, read what my good friend Gene Lyons says about them.

 Bend it Like Jayson: The Ethics of Celebrity Journalists
    by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Did Times columnist Maureen Dowd alter a statement by President Bush to make him appear more callow and
 boastful? Clearly, she did. Under the "Clinton rules," however, such trickery was commonplace. This column once
 exposed a 1995 "Nightline" broadcast that deleted 39 words from a statement by Hillary Clinton, then accused her
 of covering up the very information it cut.  Last week, Chris Vlasto, the show's producer, was quoted questioning
 Blumenthal's ethics in the Washington Post.

 Also criticizing Blumenthal was Michael Isikoff, the Newsweek sex sleuth whose book "Uncovering Clinton"
 reveals in a footnote on page 365 that, having examined her employment records, he knew Paula Jones's claims
 of job discrimination against President Clinton were false on the day she filed her lawsuit--precisely the grounds
 on which it was eventually dismissed.  Yet he kept that knowledge to himself and spent years attacking those who
 doubted her of a "cultural double standard" and an "elitist attitude."

 This issue written in pain while on Crown Royal.

 A Celebrity With a Cause
    by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 Mr. Simmons, the hip-hop impresario, suddenly seems on the verge of achieving what political
 leaders and New York Times editorials have perennially failed to do: reform the dracon
 narcotics statutes of New York State.

 Although elected officials across the spectrum have long lamented the awful injustices caused by
 those laws—which prescribe hard time for small offenses and curtail judicial discretion—the will
 to change them has been absent for a decade or more. In the meantime, tens of thousands of
 people who should be receiving drug treatment have gone to prison, where they cost the
 taxpayers billions of dollars and are trained in serious criminality.

 The Scott and Laci Peterson Saga

 Has anyone been following this story like I have?
 Since my good friend Mark Geragos is severely involved, I couldn't help but notice.

 Sidebar for new readers:
 A good friend is anyone who I've met, talked to, gotten e-mail from or held a sticker.
 Carville is a good friend, but if you asked him, "Do you know BartCop?" he'd say, "What's a BartCop?"
 I don't want people to think I run in the big circles. Most big dogs won't even return my e-mails.

 I'd sure like to argue this case with someone who's keeping up.  I'm not guaranteeing that Peterson is innocent.
 Prosecutorial claims of a "slam dunk," is probably why Geragos got into this case in the first place

 Laci's family, no matter how emotionally wrought, had no business filling three pickups full of valuables from
 Scott Peterson's home while it was unguarded due to his being suspected of this crime. I'm so old, I remember
 a term people used to use called "presumption of innocence."  Also, Roy Black says Geragos never mentioned
 "a Satanic cult," that's just Nancy Grace playing Rush Limbaugh.

 Tuesday, Grace claimed Scott must be guilty because he told a friend of Laci's that he was going golfing
 the day she died, but he ended up going fishing, so that's proof he murdered her.  What country is this?

 For all we know, Scott's connection to the golf club couldn't make it, and finding himself with no plans on
 a free day, he decided to go fishing, instead.  They want to fry him for not playing golf?

 The good puppy media has decided Peterson is guilty partly because Geragos is his lawyer,
 and to make Clinton look bad they have to take the position that Geragos only defends the guilty.

 E-Mail me if you want to fight about this.

 You know who's doing OK?
 Ashton Kutcher.

 Nine years ago, he was 16 and masturbating to Demi Moore in Disclosure.


 Now he's having sex with her, and this is after dumping Britney Murphy and the Bush twins.

 Ashton Kutcher, he lives the life, doesn't he?

 Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade places with him.
 Well, maybe for an hour, but that doesn't count.

 Standard Operating Procedure
   by Paul Krugman

  Click  Here

"It's long past time for this administration to be held accountable. Over the last two years we've become
 accustomed to the pattern. Each time the administration comes up with another whopper, partisan
 supporters - a group that includes a large segment of the news media - obediently insist that black is white
 and up is down.   Meanwhile the "liberal" media report only that some people say that black is black and
 up is up. And some Democratic politicians offer the administration invaluable cover by making excuses
 and playing down the extent of the lies."

New in the BartCop Store

Click  to  Order

Shirts for Dad,
Chinaco mugs,
Baseball caps,
Beer steins for Dad,
BBQ apron for Dad,

Don't you love him?

 Subject: blinded by angry

 I am pleased to read how angry you are about George W. Bush and "all right of center" folks in the media.

 As a former Clinton hater, may I say, being pissed about every move the other side makes does not help.
 Either come up with better ideas (or at least more popular) or wait patiently until you have a major screw-up to jump on.
 No one really cared when Clinton did things that drove me crazy and no one cares now what Bush does to annoy you.

 Good luck, it is a long road of recovery from hate blindness
 Dennis P
 Saint Louis, MO.

 Dennis, thanks for the civil tone.

 It's not the same.
 Your side made 1,000 false accusations against Clinton and swore they were all true.
 You got mad that Clinton had a girlfriend, I get mad when Bush bankrupts America and gets
 160 brave soldiers killed for no goddamn reason. He's rewritten the Constitution and done away
 with the Bill of Rights and obtained the legal power to murder people he doesn't like, for starters.

 It's not the same.

 One thing?

 Working towards the radio thing...

 Click  Here  to see if you can hear 13 seconds of a Shirley song.

 You should be able to download this with no problem.  This is an MP3.

 You can  GO HERE  and download Winamp for free.
 All the kids have them - it's what they put sound and music on these days.

 If you can't hear Shirley vow to tear some guy's soul apart (don't piss her off)
 then Click  Here  to see the new and improved troubleshooting tech page.

 E-mail someone on that list and tell them what kind of system you have.

 Our first goal is to assist people who can't get BartCop radio satisfactorily.
 If YOU are having trouble, contact a tech and if the two of you work it out,
 have the tech contact us with the answer so we can post it.

Beginning June 20/21, we will be posting radio shows in the "members" section.

 Subject: Dohhhhhhhh!!

 Bartski ,

 You quoted GW as saying ,
"As long as I can have that oil and the French know their Fucking Place , we'll be allright ."

 Sorry again , dude . Prove it . Bush never said this and you know it .
 Did you also know  that Bush said that he would like to cut the throats
 of Palestinian babies , and feed them to Zionist's guard dogs ?

 Of course you knew this . You are the knower of all things .
 Damn , you is one sorry-ass geornalistician .

 Better luck next time.

 I can't believe I'm swamped with complaint mail about that quote.

 You people need to remember three things.
This is primarily a comedy page
I don't like that unelected-idiot-lazy bastard-bastard, not even a little bit.
Read what I wrote. I said, "Bush said something like this."

 In comedy, that's called a big-ass red flag.

 When I say, "Swear to Koresh," you should assume I think what I wrote is true.
 I'll bet if every issue had a giant red sign that said, "Don't take every word seriously,"
 I'd still get mail saying, "You're not a real journalist."

 Did you know that life is short?
 Did you know that we could all eat a peach tomorrow?
 Jesus, drink one, smoke one, have some sex, go to Vegas, listen to some Shirley.

 Life is short.


 Tell all your Mac-using subscribers to listen to BartCop Radio in Apple's iTunes!
 Works great!

 Click on the link, it opens and streams. No problem. I haven't tried in in Mac OS 9,
 since all my machines that have iTunes are running OS X, but it works in OS X.


 I will endorse the first of the nine Demos running for Pres that mentions in public


 Y'all say that like drinking Mr. Beam and screwing hookers and chopping rails WAS a bad thing??


 Except for the hookers, I've done those things.
 But I'm not qualified to be president any more than Monkey Boy is.

Marty's E! page


 Subject: Tax Cuts


 How many times do you have to be reminded?
 The poor did not receive a federal tax cut because they did not pay federal taxes!!!
 Now, you may want to whip out the payroll taxes argument,
 but those are not what the current tax cuts are targeting.

 Brandt Boar

 Bottom line, Bush is lying.
 If his goal was to stimulate the economy, he's got to get some money into the hands of the people
 most likely to spend it.   Take a multi-millionaire like Cheney - with an extra $100,000 he's not
 going to go buy a car or a house. He's already super rich - he has everything he's ever wanted
 unless you factor in that there's oil he does not yet possess.

 But give $3000 to a family making $30K (The BartCop Tax Plan) and I guarantee those
 people need clothes, car repairs, a VCR, a new fridge, carpet for the house etc.
 They will not put it in the bank and forget about it like The Cheneys.

 Bush doesn't want this economy to pick up - he doesn't need it.
 As long as they control the voting machines - why f-ing bother?
 If he wanted the economy to pick up he'd mimic Clinton.

"You only have good buying opportunities when times are tough,
  at least that's what Unka Dick and Mr Rove told me."


"24 beers in a case and 24 hours in a day.
  Coincidence?  I don't think so..."
    -- John Daly, party animal and pro golfer, but not as pretty as Mr Perfect

 Zeppelin Number One

 My good friend Robert Plant and his backing group have the Number One CD this week.
 They also have the Number One DVD this week - 30 years after owning the charts.

 Remind me - the show they released on audio?
 During the encore, they did Heartbreak Hotel, Sly's Everyday People and Louie, Louie.
 They chose not to release that, but I have the tapes. Maybe we'll play that on the next BCR.

 Also, I assume some people heard BCR show Number Three.
 I got four e-mails, so I know it actually went out.

 Subject: Show 3 - Hittin' stride


 I hadn't listened to show 3 until just now (I've had a hell of a coupla days). Great stuff!
 Thanks for the perspective, rants, stories and some really interesting stuff - I like the music too : )

 Yes much better than 1 & 2. Now that you are beating the gear into submission you sound much
 more comfortable in your role of tree house dj :) The best part was that I felt you really
 communicated the potential and the vison of what this thing can be and become.

 Jim C

 Subject: Wrong time posted for Franken/OReilly Smackdown

 You've probably been swamped with mail about this, but in case you haven't -
 the time for the C-SPAM airing of the Franken/O'Reilly show is actually 5:30 PM on Sunday,
 not AM as you had on the website.

 This is according to the website, which sponsors the event.
 I would hate to miss this one.

 Keep swinging.

 Usually I just say, "I'm a dumbass," but in this case, someone else was.

 Subject: It was much worse than you thought


 I ran across this gem, which I printed out when you posted it 2-1/2 years ago.
 How I wish you'd been right!



 Sometimes I hate to be right...

 Did I hear that right?
  The Olson twins made a billion dollars in 2002?

 Not that I follow their career, but a billion dollars?
 Surely I heard wrong, right?

 Subject: Radio problems - Possible solution

 I'm not certain but I suspect the reason people are having trouble getting the stream is that
 the files are too high-quality for dialup connections to handle.

 The 13-second test file on today's issue is 70kbps.  Show #3 is 40kbps.  Those numbers measure
 the amount of data required to store/transfer 1 second of audio.  (kbps = kilobits per second)
 So 40kbps means that it takes 40,000 bits per second of audio.  Which also means that your internet
 connection has to download 40,000 bits of data in order to play one second of audio.  Which means,
 if your modem can only download 28,800 bits in one second, then it won't have downloaded the full
 first second of audio before it's time to play the next second.  Thus you get constant buffering.

 The solution is to lower the bitrate.  Whatever program you're using to generate the MP3 files should
 have an option called 'bitrate'.  I would set it to 24kbps, which should be plenty for voice, and low
 enough that even an old 28.8 modem can play it.

 This assumes that the people have problems are dialup users.  If people on DSL or Cable are still having
 problems then I'm on the wrong tack entirely.  But I'm on DSL and I can play the files without any problems.

 Hope this helps.

 Nathan, thanks, I don't know about these things.
 Apparently, Cool Edit and Pro Tools don't work with under-40 bitrate files.
 Is this correct?  And if so, what is the solution?
 Is there a program than can lower the 40 when the show is complete?
 Maybe we could have two buttons, one for 40K and one for 28K.

 e-mail Bart if you know how this works.

 Advice to the Dems

 I know you're stupid, scared and broke, but what about this?

 What if, starting
 next Monday,
 any Democrat asked
 anything on camera about
 any subject answered gets the following answer.

"Why did Unelected Bush go AWOL in 1972, and why did he lie about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction?"

 That's it.
 That's all it takes.
 It's free.
 According to Frank Zappa,
"Free is when you don't have to pay for something."

 But the Democrats refuse to do that because "It wouldn't be right to gain power that way."

 Our football team wants to sit on the bench.
 We don't want to win, we just want the game to be over.
 We've become a party that stands for nothing, yet we've won the last three popular votes.

 We're losing to the stupidest man who's ever been forced into politics.

 Call  918-493-1500- you have two minutes to rant away.

 Did anything make you mad today?

Tell us about it!


 Click  to  Subscribe

 The Socko Holy War Poll Stats

  Click  Here

 In the wake of the dramatic search for two camouflaged mobile laboratory trucks in Iraq,
 a growing percentage of Muslims also see serious threats to Islam itself.

 Subject: Jesus Bart

 Again ,

 How many times must I tell you ?
 Poor people do not pay taxes.

 That's possibly the most false statement ever published by
 I have a clue what you might have intended to mean with that atrocious malapropism,
 but it is 100 percent totally false.

 If we were in a debate and you said something that crazy,
 I'd de-skirt you like you were a lawyer for that Weiner fella.

 This was supposed to go up last weekend, but then I found myself unarmed.

 Click  Here  for Part One of Radio Show Number Three

 Click  Here  for Part Two of Radio Show Number Three

 Brought to you by

 Click  Here  for Part Three of Radio Show Number Three

 I say we fight back with BartCop Radio.
 They can't shut us up if we are subscriber-supported.

 I think building  into a powerhouse is a worthwhile goal.
 Click  Here  to subscribe.

 Help build the anti-Bush network into something the media can't ignore and can't dismiss.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

 Taking my own advice, we're in Las Vegas.
 We have more Frequent Flying free trips than we can use, and The Rio has graciously
 (I had to threaten them) agreed to donate a "VIP Platinum" room for the weekend.
 They said to be sure I use the "VIP Check In" not the regular Check In that the rubes use.

 ha ha

 I'm wearing my extra-worn tennis shoes and a t-shirt with a stain on it.
 They're going to call me MISTER BartCop all weekend.

 Besides, I'm scheduled to be hit by a peach truck in July, so why waste the free trip?
 Mrs. Bart wanted to watch Funny Cide win the Belmont with a crowd of screaming gamblers, so here we are.

 I invited Shirley to meet us at the Pink Taco for tequila shots, no word from her yet.

 It's 10:40 in the morning and I'm drinking Crown Royal.
 Not because I'm a sad, embittered old man,
 not because I'm lonely and the bottle is my only friend.
 not because life has passed me by and I've fallen into the gutter.

 I'm drinking because we didn't rent a car and this is a cabs-only weekend and this is Las Vegas,
 where you get fined for being sober. Besides, it helps explain the quality of the writing.

 ...and I'm waiting for the florist.

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