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Volume 1088 - Mr. Big Shot

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 Wed-Thurs   June 11-12, 2003 


"Bush flew over Iraq in Air Force One, saw the devastation
  and said 'Don't worry about this, we'll get whoever did this.'"
        -- Craig Kilborn

"I did not, ...did I?"

 GOP Rejects Formal Probe of Iraq Intel 
  Democrats cave in, as expected, once again, like always

  Click  Here

 Republicans in Congress brushed aside Democratic pleas for a formal investigation into
 Iraq's nonexistant weapons programs, saying that routine whitewashing should suffice.

 Chairman Pat Roberts said some of the Democratic criticism of the handling of the
 intelligence has "been simply politics and for political gain."

 Monica was a "Constitutional crisis," but Bush getting 160 brave men killed
 for oil isn't important, just like investigation 9-11 isn't important - but Monica was?

 How did the Democrats handle this?

       Whatever Dubya wants is going to be what Dubya gets. We serve at your pleasure, Mr President!


"It doesn't appear there are any more targets at this time.
  We're hanging around with no missions in the foreseeable future."
     --Lt. Col. Keith Harrington, searching for WMD's in Iraq,  Hunt for Iraqi banned weapons slows

 Press Avoids News In Blumenthal Book
   by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 Conservative outrage about Mr. Clinton’s sins was quite selective, as the wronged ex-wife
 of  his nemesis, Newt Gingrich, could (and perhaps someday will) testify. For the Republican
 caucus controlled by Tom DeLay, the opportunity to destroy a President they hated was
 simply an irresistible exercise of power.

  The book also contains revealing remarks by former House impeachment manager James Rogan,
 and scathing recollections of Mr. Starr from a couple of his former prosecutors. Meanwhile, the
 press—whose poor performance is revealed in the pages of The Clinton Wars—won’t report any
 such troubling news. They were  never much interested in that side of the Clinton story—and still aren’t.


"I want to give him a copy of the book signed by the president of the United States — when he's 10."
      --Anne Braudis, 56, buying Hilliary's book  for her 4 year old grandson,

 Subject: Question about the GOP


 Y'know, a question just hit me: have the misnamed Republicans gotten one
 single person into the White House that was *not* a crook, since Ike?


 Nixon - a crook, pardoned
      (VP Agnew - convicted felon)

 Reagan - initiated Iran-Contra, may have authorized the arms-for-hostages
               deal with the Iranian revolutionaries, and may have ok'd the
               deal that they hold them until *after* the 1980 elections

 Bush I - Iran-Contra
 Bush II - we *know* the list.

 I guess I just answered my own question - nope.


 PS. "Support the party of crooks!"

 Mark, one difference of opinion.
 Reagan didn't know about Bush meeting with Hezzbollah in 1980.
 Reagan never had a clue how he won that election - it was all Bush and the B.F.E.E.
 Reagan was their puppet, their unwilling dupe, dolt, dunderhead, a pathetic patsy and a putz

 In hindsight, I also think Reagan was innocent of Iran-Contra.
 There are reports he called his top staffers in and asked, "Did I authorize this?"

 It's sad what they did to that doddering, old fool.
 Reagan deserved better than what BushCo did to him.


“Bush promised a foreign policy of humility and a domestic policy of compassion.
  He has given us a foreign policy of arrogance and a domestic policy that is cynical, myopic and cruel.”
     --Time’s Joe Klein

"Fuck Joe Klein - I'm taking him out."

 Return of the Great Flood Fraud
 The "good neighbors" go for the handjob

  I knew this was a scam back in Volume 1079 - Bean Eating Nancy Boys.
  Click  Here  for the original story

 Today, I get a giant envelope in the mail:
 Digging thru the paperwork, and I see the clean-up crew estimated clean up costs at $1577.
 Funny, that's exactly same dollar amount the "independent" adjuster came up with.

 As Tally Briggs might say, "Something is rotten in the state of K-Drag."
 What else does the paperwork say?

 Cost of clean-up   $1577  That's probably too high, but I can live with it.
 Minus deductible    $  500  That's my deductible on the homeowner's policy - fine.
 Check Amount       $1077  That would seem to be a simple deal - but wait!

 Mrs Bart's kitchen floor is nothing but black cement - and she is not happy.
 When Mrs. Bart isn't happy, I only have one job.   I keep diugging, and I see the
 clean-up crew's estimate to replace carpeting is $612.  So where is Mrs Bart's carpeting?

 I called the "good neighbors," and they said, "Ask the clean-up crew."
 I told them I don't want to buy carpet from the clean-up crew.
 I want to buy it from whichever carpet and tile store Mrs Bart likes best.

 So I called the clean-up crew and they said, "We want our money."
 I told them I'd pay them as soon as the two "partners" got their stories straight
 but I already had their paperwork so it was too late to change anything.

 The "good neighbors" ended up with, "Oh, did we add that up wrong?"
 Bottom line, they're upping the check another $357
 Crooked bastards, everywhere you turn these days.

 Moral of the story:
 Watch your back, because Smirk's tax cuts for the rich have soured the entire economy,
 so more and more companies are putting their employees on a "pass the f-ing on" basis.
 I believe that caused The Rio problem, the Best Western problem, my Bank of America
 problem (that was so incredibly flagrant and then the bastards failed to correct the problem twice
 hoping I'd give up and walk away like a garden variety Democrat) and.this "good neighbor" problem.

 Without any doubt, you are getting screwed, too.

Your bank will bounce checks when the money is there.
The electric company will "misread" your meter and charge you the higher rate.
Your mechanic will "inadvertantly" put the old water pump back in and charge you for a new one.
You'll pay for this, but they'll give you that.

 As Cher used to say, "...and the beat goes on..."

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“I just want it noted who it is that's throwing the Clintons
  in front of our faces every day now: it's the Clintons.
      --Rush Limbaugh, lying, Nazi whore

 Hey Pigboy, who's holding the gun to your head forcing you
 to spend three hours a day on Hillary's book and Clinton's cock?
 I thought you controlled what you talked about...

 Poor Pigboy, forced to stay on Clinton's cock three hours a day.

 Tech Feedback

 Some other suggestions for people who can't get Shirley or .

 In addition to what's been suggested:
 1. connection (dial up issues, ISP issues)
 2. networks (are you behind a firewall?, are you at work and *not allowed* to hear MP3s or other audio?)

 Other possibilities:
 The simplest solution in most cases is to simply update to the latest version of your current audio player.
 Pretty much every audio player out there now can play streaming MP3's -- but this wasn't true even a
 couple of  months ago. If you have an older version, it may not handle the format correctly.

 A few emails I've gotten were concerning AOL media player. I don't use AOL, so I'm no expert with them,
 but if anyone else has AOL and it works fine, have them email what they do, and how they have it set up
 for other users to do the same.


 Chris, thanks for that.

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 Quest for the Oily Grail

  Click  Here


 I know you don't run a dating service,
 but I'm looking for a man who can satisfy me.

 Most one-night stands just drill me and leave me.
 I generally catch, but would pitch for the right fella.

 Love your page, you are God.

 Hot Rod

 Faulty Intelligence
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Bouyed by his decision to create a department of Homeland Security, which he'd previously
 opposed, Bush got away with it clean. Busting up al-Qaeda's sanctuary  in Afghanistan and
 rousting the Taliban didn't hurt either. Questioning critics'  patriotism proved a useful tactic
 in a time of fear. Giving Bush the benefit of the doubt, most citizens bought the bait and switch
 campaign to substitute Saddam Hussein and Iraq for Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda as threats
 to American security.

 And why? Well, mainly because Bush has surrounded himself with self-described  "neo-conservative"
 intellectuals centering around Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld who have been hollering that
 the sky was falling since the 1970s. Many were members of the infamous "Team B," convened
 by then-CIA director George H.W. Bush. Their great achievement was portraying the Russian
 military as ten feet tall and bulletproof precisely as the ramshackle Soviet empire was falling apart.
 Needless to say, dissenters were accused of being "soft on communism," lacking patriotism, etc.
 Meanwhile, real traitors like CIA spy Aldrich Ames got away with murder.

 Great stuff - be sure and read this one.

ACC not expanding
Spectacular Bid dies
Tulane keeps football
Neuheisel getting canned

Click to Enter

 Joe Conason's Journal as seen on
 The only thing protecting the White House? Its timid Democratic opposition.

     Hi, we're the timid twins - we're afraid if Mr. Rove.

 June 9, 2003  |  The gathering storm over the White House.
 What did the president know? He knew that his categorical statements about Iraq's possession
 of forbidden chemical and biological weapons -- and similarly scary remarks and speeches by
 his vice president, national security advisor, secretary of state and secretary of defense -- were
 unsupported by hard intelligence. When did he know it? If he and his subordinates were paying
 attention, they were aware of the deep uncertainty about Iraq's weapons programs during the
 entire period that his government was driving the world toward war.

 Those are the only conclusions that can reasonably be drawn, at least until the Senate Armed
 Services and intelligence committees extract (and release) more data from the CIA, the Defense
 Intelligence Agency and the others responsible for assessing the situation in Iraq. While Bush
 and his aides continue to insist that weapons of mass destruction will be found someday, their
 promises are growing vaguer and their excuses are becoming less believable.

 What protects the White House now, as the media begin to ask questions that would have been
 more timely six months ago, is the timidity of the Democratic opposition. If the Clinton administration
 had misled the nation in this manner, the Republicans would be seizing their pitchforks.

Join the fight  against the Weiner fraud.

 Bart, the following is from's  "best of the web today." from Tuesday, June 10.
 Does the last paragraph imply that even republicans know that Dubya's words are not to be trusted?

 Bush Goes Soft on Terror

 Sad news from Gaza City, where Hamas honcho Abdel Aziz Rantisi is still alive and two bystanders
 are dead in a failed Israeli helicopter strike. The White House, bizarrely, is criticizing Israel.
"The president is concerned that the strike will undermine efforts by Palestinian authorities and others
 to bring an end to terrorist attacks and does not contribute to the security of Israel," says Ari Fleischer.
"The president is deeply troubled by the strike."

  Israel should ignore what Bush says and do what he does. The U.S. has "assassinated" numerous
  terrorist leaders since Sept. 11, and Israel has as much right to defend itself as America does.
  One further bit of advice for the Israelis: Next time, make sure you actually kill the guy."

 Old Business

 Re: playskool

 Here's the text of the message I sent...

 Some right-wing nut job is using the e-mail address to advocate the killing of
 Arab women and children.  Here is an excerpt of some text from an e-mail he sent to a public website:

"Ask the average American if he'd rather slaughter a buncha stinkin' Arabs (women & children first) or take a
 chance on letting the murderous bastards strike again....come '04 YOU are the bastards we're gonna slaughter next"

 You can read the entire text of this psycho's message at

 What I want to know is does your company endorse the slaughter of women and children of different races,
 or of anyone who doesn't comport to an ultra right-wing agenda?

 If not why haven't you taken steps to make this hate-speaker stop using the name for one of your most
 well-known products?  Frankly I am appalled.  I have always associated Hasbro and Playskool with
 benevolence, understanding and caring, in short with family values.  Why would you allow a lunatic to
 degrade your good name and teach hate instead of tolerance.

 Thank you for reading.

 Tony L

 Tony, that was well done.  It's my opinion Playskool/Hasbro doesn't want this childish
 Bush wannabe spewing murderous hatred towards Arabs using their corporate name.

 Bab's Notes - a book review

 The Clinton Wars
    by Sidney Blumenthal

  Click  Here

 "On August 14, the President met the caskets of ten Americans killed in the embassy bombings as they were
  brought to Andrews Air Force Base, and one after another, he met their grief-stricken families.  He was
  photographed with tears streaking down his face.  'No matter what it takes, ' he said at the public ceremony,
 'we must find those responsible for these evil acts and see that justice is done.'  Then he drove back to the
 White House, where he had to prepare for his deposition.  Ken Starr was demanding his attention while he was
  planning the American retaliation to Osama bin Laden." (page 460)

 We missed bin Laden by one hour that time.

Dad called - he doesn't want another tie.
 Dad wants  a subscriptiton to 
Click  Here  to make Dad happy

 If you're a fan of  The Sopranos,  this will make you fall out of your chair.

 These guys (The Lars against Napster dudes) took snippets of Nancy Marchand
 from The Sopranos and turned them into wav files, then dialed the phone.

 Hear "Livia" give hell to several different people. This is what they did to Sears.

 Go to   and click on the Sears button.

Marty's E! page
'Sidney Blumenthal on Jon Stewart
Cooper & Yeager celebrate 20 years of 'The Right Stuff
Ray Harryhausen (finally) got a star on the Walk O'Fame
Woody Allen pitching travel to France
VH1's 'Best 100 Songs of the Past 25 Years'
First Burger King outlet in Iraq
Carson Daly to be roasted
Tom Green gets a talk show
Snoop Dogg visited his grandmother
The queen went to Legoland
'Star Dates' - season 2
And, lap dancing in LA.


 '24' masks an insult as entertainment
  Looks like somebody's been reading

  Click  Here

 Bauer learned that evidence pointing to the culpability of "three Middle Eastern countries" was faked.
 These countries were "innocent," we were told in subsequent episodes; the real villains were "oil investors"
 who stood to profit if the United States went to war. The head terrorist plotter was an American, and he
 was aided by an array of other Americans, including a special ops commando and the president's wife.

 Except for Pickles being involved, all that came true in real life.
 The problem the B.F.E.E. has, is the producers of 24 sat down and thought of the most evil thing possible
 and set out to portray that, not knowing the Unelected Murder-is-Fun President was already going at it.

 Got Radio?

 Click  Here  to see if you can hear 13 seconds of this Shirley song.

 If you can't hear Shirley vow to tear some guy's soul apart (don't piss her off)
 then Click  Here  to see the new and improved troubleshooting tech page.
 E-mail someone on that list and tell them what kind of system you have.

 Beginning June 20/21, we will be posting radio shows in the "members" section.

 I haven't heard from any techs that anyone has found sound.
 I will attempt to locate a poll to see how you're doing.

 Subject: the clinton record...

 Bartcop -
 You have to put this link on your site:

 Yes, I know, it's old...from 1996...but it goes over what Clinton did in his first term.
 Would love for some monkey-jockey to try to compare Clinton's record with Bush
 ....or Bush...or Reagan...or any Republican in the last 35 years.

 That is all.


 Subject: I have no problem with us killing arabs

 Although I despise bush and yes he lied about the reasons for war and I hope he's impeached,
 nevertheless I have no qualms about arab muslims being bombed to hell, and I am a liberal.

 ha ha

 Yeah, and I'm with the ASPCA and I mangle baby ducks.
 Which moon of Uranus do you call home?

 The muslims are fascist nazis who desire to create another holocaust against the Jews.
 Their goal is to turn Israel into one big Auschewitz. Why do you continue to defend the
 fascist enemies of western civilization, murderers of Christians, Jews and Hindus?

 What kind of sick creatures willingly and proudly encourage and send their own children
 to become human bombs? How can such a depraved culture ever live in peace with anyone?

 You're not going to like this answer.
 The people who would send their kids to suicide a pizza parlor, are close cousins to the
 people who would raise their kids in that madhouse rather than move to Oklahoma .
 Both peoples are willing to die for their sacred sand. The idiocy is not one-sided.

 As far as I'm concerned there is no down side to this situation.  An arab islamic regime has been
 destroyed, the arabs humiliated, devistated and put in their place and at the same time bush is up
 to his ears in a major scandal, having lied to take us to war. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.


 What about peace, instead?

  by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

 US officials are readying a courtroom, a holding area and an execution chamber if the order
 comes to try terror suspects at the Guantanamo naval base in Cuba. No expense is being spared.
 For instance, the death chamber will be an exact replica of the one Kaiser Ashcroft uses
 in his game room at his Missouri home.

 Newt on Stewart

 I set the alarm, I secured the blank tape, I distracted Mrs. Bart
 with a C.S.I. DVD (She loves her C.S.I.) but I forgot about Oklahoma weather.

 It was raining, and they're still trying to harness the Wet God here in Oklahoma.
 Stewart was raring to go, and Newt came out, and after some admirable small talk, Jon looks
 Newt in the eye and asks what the fuck was he thinking with that ridiculous Clinton impeachment
 bullshit and would Newt care to apologize to America for it right now?

 Then the Dish goes dead.

 What did he say?

 Did anybody tape that?



 I got my subscription account notification e-mail last week.
 When I click on the url and log in, it takes me to the Bartcop page
 for that day (minus the pictures) and that is all.

.Is there something further I'm supposed to do?
 Am i supposed to be getting something more at this time?

 No, there is nothing at that URL but a test page.
 We expect to start the 'Members' section June 20/21.

 On May 21, we started adding each day's PayPal subscribers into the new system.
 When June 21 rolls around, we will have all current PayPal subscribers  AND the
 new 2Checout subscribers all in the new system and we'll begin our new journey.

 The only hitch is people who have subscribed by mail.
 We can't subscribe anybody without their e-mail.

 So get ready for the big event.
 It seems like yesterday we had the RL-LNW newsletter, then, thanks to Marc Perkel,
 we got the web page going and now we're moving forward into a new matrix.

 Isn't it exciting?

 Subject: Iraq - WMD

 I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to this but I haven't heard anyone else ask.

 Why were we told that we couldn't wait for the UN inspectors to do their job
 but now we're being told to be patient in the search for the WMD in Iraq?


New in the BartCop Store

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Shirts for Dad,
Chinaco mugs,
Baseball caps,
Beer steins for Dad,
BBQ apron for Dad,

I talked to your Dad.
 He wants another tie.

 Letterman was drunk on the air last night
  It was probably pain pills for his finger

 Apparently, Dave cut most of his pinky off Monday afternoon.
 Monday night on the show, "Dr. Lou Aroni, ...the San Fransisco treat,"
 was there to sew him up - and sew him up he did on national TV.

 There was lots of blood, and it seemed to be real sewing. Dave was either wacky on the junk
 he was in shock, because he laughed and giggled when Doc Rice sewed in the stitches.
 Hilarity was so much in the air, they did a split-screen to Rupert frying some meat.

 Tuesday night, Dave's having trouble pronouncing words.
 He has the World Champion of Poker, live from Binion's Horseshoe in Vegas.

 So, besides slurring his words, Dave dives into the murder-for-hire rant where Henry (Hank) Binion,
 ( no relation to Carla Binion, one of the best writers on the www) is drugged and murdered by some
 wacko druggie bitch and buried in the desert.

 Check out Paul's position:

 Here is Dave - on drugs, ranting on about a semi-recent Las Vegas casino murder.
 Paul kept trying to steer dave off the subject.

"Why?" says drunken Dave.  "What's wrong with talking about this?"
 (This is all paraphrase, but trust me.)

 Paul does his best to sooth things over.
 Right now, Paul is all Dave has, and good thing Paul is a TEN on the scale of loyal.
 That, ...or he's smart enough to know who's butter is spread on his bread.

 Next up, Dave's Number One Assistant for at least ten years, Barbara Gaines,
 who hates to be on camera, signals to Dave to cut his current skit short.

 Dave, drunk and out-of-character, asks her why she's doing that.
 The way I remember it, she said, "I'm doing this as a friend."
 Smiles and laughs, but a very uncomfortable feeling for those reading the vibes.

 Our good friend Bruce Willis came out, and he pretty much took control of things.
 He started singing songs about how dad Saddam was, which isn't even true.

 Oh well, at least it got Dave off the hook.

Fight back with BartCop Radio
 They can't shut us up if we're subscriber-supported.

 Building  into a powerhouse could pay off.
 Click  Here  to subscribe.

 Changes are coming June 20/21

 Help build the anti-Bush network into something the media can't ignore and can't dismiss.


 Just returned from Bermuda, was there for a conference and visiting family.
 While there one of my cousins was looking over my shoulder as I was reading
 your column. She asked me, "Who is BartCop?"

 I told her part of the American resistance to Bush, et al.
"Like the French Underground during WWII?" she asked.
"It's not that bad, yet," I replied.   Sometimes I wonder.

 Anyway, I hope all goes well with BartRadio and stay out of small planes.
 I worry that Ashcroft is going to be coming for you one day.


 Call  918-493-1500- you have two minutes to rant away.


"Wal-Mart stores are going to begin concealing the covers of some women's magazines,
   including Cosmopolitan, Glamour and Redbook because they think they're too provocative.
  Wal-Mart did this after getting complaints from Iran's ruling conservative Shiite government."
      --Conan O'Brien

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

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 Shirley - call Bart at 918-493-1500
 Leave a message -that would be cool.

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