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Volume 1111 - Jackass in the White House

A resource for non-embedded writers and an enlightened public

Please visit our newest sponsor

 Weekend    July 12-13, 2003 


"The president has moved on."
   --Ari the Arrogant, telling reporters that the Bush-lying-about-the-war issue is over.

 Yeah, the 'president' has moved on from questions about his iilegal and fake war,
 he's moved on from the question of how many times he's been arrested, his cocaine use,
 his going AWOL during wartime, the abortion for Robin in 1971, the binge drinking,
 his Harken Energy 'Martha Stewart' problems, the stolen election and all the rest.

 I'm sure the press will obey their orders and stop asking why 200 brave men are dead for no reason.

"They knew they were risking their lives when they signed up,
  so it's time for the families of the dead to move on, too."

Lee Hamilton?

 Hi, I'm Dubya's pet poodle, Lee

Hamilton and Iran-Contra

  Click  Here

"Why did Hamilton choose not to investigate? ... When Hamilton was chairman of the House committee investigating
 Iran-contra, he took the word of senior Reagan administration officials when they claimed Bush and Reagan were
 'out of the loop.' Independent counsel Lawrence Walsh and White House records later proved that Reagan and Bush
 had been very much in the loop. If Hamilton had looked into the matter instead of accepting the Reagan administration's
 word, the congressional investigation would have shown the public the truth. Hamilton later said he should not have
 believed the Reagan officials. However, today, Bush is considering appointing Hamilton UN ambassador."

 How did the Democrat allow Bush to appoint this shoe-licker to investigate 9-11?

 What's wrong with the Democrats?

 ...and Hamilton is going to assure us Bush didn't know in advance about 9-11?

   "May I lick your boots, Sir?"

 Click  Here  for more from

 Once again, just like he's gotten his whole lazy life, Bush gets a free pass.

 Call your representative and senator and ask them why a Bush bootlicker
 is steering the 9-11 committee to the "Bush is certainly innocent and blame-free" conclusion.

 Trust me, Hamilton has already written his "Bush is innocent" report
 Hamilton is a good dog - he knows how to obey commands..
 This hand job is just to placate the families of the victims of 9-11.

 Why is the B.F.E.E. bribing the jury foreman if Bush is innocent?

 Mr. Bush, You Are A Liar
  by William Rivers Pitt

  Click  Here

 A significant portion of the dead and wounded came after Bush performed his triumphant swagger across
 the deck of an aircraft carrier that was parked just outside San Diego bay. Those dead and wounded came
 because the Bush administration's shoddy planning for this whole event left the troopers on the firing line
 wide open to the slow and debilitating bloodletting they have endured. A significant portion of the dead and
 wounded came after Bush stuck his beady chin out on national television and said, "Bring 'em on!"

 Bush and the White House told the American people over and over again that Iraq was in possession of vast
 stockpiles of WMD. Bush and the White House said over and over again that this was a direct threat to the
 United States. Bush and the White House told the American people over and over again that Iraq was directly
 connected to al Qaeda terrorism, and would hand those terrible weapons over to the terrorists the first chance
 they got. Bush and the White House told Congress the same thing. Very deliberately, Bush and the White House
 tied a war in Iraq to the attack of September 11.

 It was all a lie. All of it.

 The California Recall: Looking For The Silver Lining
   by Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

 There is no doubt that the campaign to remove Davis doesn't pass the sniff test.

 For starters, it feels undemocratic. After all, it was just 8 months ago that Davis was reelected by 363,548 votes
 (a five percent margin), beating his hapless GOP opponent, Bill Simon, fair and square. This leaves the backers
 of the recall looking like a bunch of sore losers, trying to do through the backdoor what they couldn't accomplish
 on Election Day. Which is particularly offensive given Florida and the growing fear that the standard GOP
 response to elections will become "either we win them or we undo them."


 Texas Executions:
 Bush Has Defined Himself As Shallow And Callous

  Click  Here

 (In 2000) The Chicago Tribune published a compelling report on an investigation of all 131
 death cases in Governor Bush's time. It made chilling reading.

 In one-third of those cases, the report showed, the lawyer who represented the death penalty defendant
 at trial or on appeal had been or was later disbarred or otherwise sanctioned.  In 40 cases the lawyers
 presented no evidence at all or only one witness at the sentencing phase of the trial.

 In 29 cases, the prosecution used testimony from a psychiatrist who -- based on a hypothetical question
 about the defendant's past -- predicted he would commit future violence. Most of those psychiatrists
 testified without having examined the defendant: a practice condemned professionally as unethical.

"I'll kill the next guy who says I'm shallow and callous."

 Subject: about Rep. Hamilton

 How in the hell can I safely ask my Representative and Senators to remove Rep. Hamilton
 from the 9/11 investigation commitee if I don't have any proof that he is going to steer to the
 conclusion that Bush is innocent?????

 I can't just rip somebody without hard evidence.
 Anything I can point to for proof?


 Ed, it's kinda tough to provide proof of what somebody might do in the future.

 If you read what Hamilton had done in the past to whitewash Bush crimes,
 we must assume he's going to act the same way, and get more biscuits from Massa Bush.

Isn't that the truth?
Every time this unelected imposter of a human being tells a lie
the whore press backs him up and lets him off the hook, again and again.

Remember a few months after this punk was sworn in,
NINE students died when Moron's oil buddies were playing with OUR submarine?
The press just let it go, so they could whine about Clinton "selling" the Lincoln Bedroom.

Hey, Clinton didn't kill anybody while fund raising, Bush killed NINE,
but the press has given him a pass on everything since he began his fake campaign.

That's OK, we can always blame Clinton.
The recession?
Clinton's, of course.
Bush's fake war?
All Clinton's fault for having sex.
Social Security wiped out?
Blame Clinton - after all - he had sex.

Yeah, we blame Clinton for everything but these are the facts.


"The designated congressional committees filed their joint report on the Iran-Contra affair.
  Dick Cheney, the senior Republican member of the House Select Committee to Investigate Covert
  Arms Transactions with Iran, helped steer the joint committees to an impotent result. Bush was
  totally exonerated, and was hardly mentioned. Bush, when President, rewarded Cheney by
  appointing him Sec of Defense, after the Senate refused to confirm John Tower."
     -- by Webster G. Tarpley & Anton Chaitkin           George Bush: The Unauthorized Biography

 Can you believe that?
 Shoelicker Hamilton and Unka Dick were in charge of getting to "the truth" about Bush's global crimes?

 ...and we impeached Clinton for lying about sex?

 Portrait of a Young Man as Global Citizen
   by Doug McGill  of The McGill Report

  Click  Here

“It leads me to try to harmonize conservative American and liberal European thinking," he says.
"With the war in Iraq I had friends who said 'Let's get Saddam out of there. We'll amass a huge
 army and wipe theirs out and nothing will happen to us.' And I said, 'Are you willing to send family
 members over there? What about the money you need to spend? And what about the future of
 Iraq once the war is over?'"

 Jesus loves you UNCONDITIONALLY--as long as you do EXACTLY what He says!
 He commands you to buy some official Landover Baptist merchandise!

 Go NOW--Jesus commands it!

President Jack in the Pants

George W. Bush 'Jack in the Pants' -  $29.95

Click  Here

It's the hottest political collectible of the year.
Twist the Puppet's crank to hear “Hail to the Thief” and out pops
Smirky McJack in the Pants, complete with presidential podium.
Puppet is hard rubber and fabric, ...but you knew that...

Damn, I wish I had a piece of this...

 Baghdad Bob DVDs

 I mentioned this on the latest radio show... I got a nice package from Revolver Entertainment,
 the puiblishers of the Baghdad Bob DVDs.    I liked it.

 It's Baghdad Bob's greatist hits!

 It was so funny, Baghdad Bob would say, "The Americans are not advancing towards Baghdad,"
 when you can hear booms going off in the backgrouns.   There's only one Baghdad Bob!

 From another reader...

 I was also asked to mention that CVS Drugstores and Eckhardt Drugstores were scheming with
 the crooked Republicans to scam some money by writing a bad prescription drug law.

 I don't know about these things, (I need a staff) so if YOU know the particulars,
 consider taking action to buycott the evil companies who are scheming with the GOP.

 You know the GOP will so anything to screw America - if there's a nickle in it for them

 Subject: Bush escalates marijuana war


 I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Bush is only following in his predecessor's footsteps on this one.

 The reason I would have taken my second vote for Clinton back if I could have was his mean spirited and utterly
 idiotic decision to send his justice department after the licenses of doctors in California who prescribed marijuana
 to their patients after the voters in that fine state passed their medical marijuana law.

 I just can't believe you don't remember that. That move disgusted me to the point of voting for Nader in 2000.
 I know this kind of thing wont play on your page, you seem to be dedicated to the glorification of Clinton beyond all reason,

 Joe Scott

 Joe, I don't specifically remember that, but I'm sure the news was bigger there than it was in Oklahoma.
 I doubt his motives wre "mean spirited," but I'll bet they were political.

 You must remember, Clinton never had the Democrats behind him.  They fought him at every turn, from health care
 to gays in the military, the Democrats constantly stuck that knife in his back, promting this cartoon:

 I'm sure you'll considert this more "Clinton worship," but there were times when he had to take steps
 to remain politically viable. Had he come out for common sense pot laws, the GOP and the press
 would've made him our "druggie president," and they probably would have impeached him for that.
 Just like he had to fire Joycelyn Elders or risk becoming the "masturbation president."

 By contrast, Bush is so worshipped by his party, when the Bush tarts got caught breaking the liquor laws,
 the Party of God proclaimed that underage drinking was a good thing, practiced by all normal teens.

 If Clinton had the party worship the unelected fraud has (not to mention a good puppy press) he could've
 done a lot more good in his eight years, but Democrats always refuse to fight. They're too afraid.

 Remember, before Clinton came along, our fiercest warriors were Carter, Mondale and Dukakis.
 Clinton showed them how to win and the Democrats paid him back with a knife in his back. Bob Kerrey
 labeled Clinton, "an unusually good liar," to the glee of the vulgar Pigboy. Sam Nunn said we'd be honest
 about gays in the military over his dead body. and even during impeachment, Robert Byrd bellowed (in a very
 public way, to the glee of the vulgar Pigboy) for him to "stop tampering with the jury."

 They would've fed Clinton to Ken Starr in a heartbeat, but it would've hurt them, too.

"Bring 'em on"

 When the drunken Crawford Cowboy is taunting the Iraqi's or terrorists to "bring 'em on,"
 isn't that a little bit like say, "Hey bin Laden, the Sears Tower is still standing, nyah, nyah!"

 I mean, if you're a boig fan of Oklahoma football, and you're getting rwady to play Texas,
 that kind of trash talk is fun because it builds a little drams. But we've got over 200 dead.

 The man with the big hat and the tiny boots caused enough drama on 9-11.

Marty's E! page
Masterpiece Theatre' on PBS needs a sponsor
Kennedy items to auction
Big Dog in London
Beyonce danced on Grant's Tomb & noses are disjointed
Rob Halford has rejoined Judas Priest
Clear Channel must sell some stations
Traci Lords has written a memoir
ha ha
(I hope I'm not in it)
Gogol's nose was found
The 'Garbage Pail Kids' are back
Finland doesn't speak 'Rover-ese'
And, a bunch of links


 The Press Corps' New Manner 
   as sen on The Daily Howler

  Click  Here

 How has the Administration responded to the press corps’ new manner? With its typical evasion and disdain.
 In Africa, President Bush failed to address direct questions about the uranium matter. Ari Fleischer did as always,
 offering ham-handed sophistries. And Donald Rumsfeld behaved so poorly before the Congress that even Don
 Imus expressed his concerns. (On Thursday morning, Imus said the uranium matter is more important than Clinton
 and Monica!)   But then, why wouldn’t The Bush Admin be caught off guard by a functioning press corps?
 From fall 2000 right up to this day, the corps had gone big-time AWOL on Bush. If the Administration is
 befuddled by the press corps’ new manner, it ain’t all that hard to see why.

 A place you need to visit

 CNN's silly, non-scientific polls tells us something

 Whom do you blame for the mistake in Bush's State of the Union address on Iraq?
 With over 15,000 respondents, the tally is:

President Bush    95%
The British             1%
The CIA                4%

 Unlike the Democrats, the Republicans are organized and they vote in blocks.
 The ding dongs at FreRetard constantly "freep" polls like this to always make Clinton the guilty party.

 So how could the Criminal Commander be doing so badly in a poll like this?
 Does this mean America is starting to open their eyes?

 I doubt it.  Maybe somebody got an "upskirt" camera on Ann Slanders
 and they're all playing with themselves instead of freeping online polls.

 "Bring 'em on"

 And another thing about Resident Happycrack's promise to "stay the course..."

 Taking a wild estimate, we're losing 2-3 soldiers per week in Iraq.
 Tommy Franks says he expects us to be there about 4 years.

 Call it three dead soldiers a week, times 52 weeks is 156 dead soldiers a year.
 Four years of that would be over 600 dead, and the Iraqi's might stumble on
 a way to kill a few dozen at a time - so when will the killing stop?

 And what if Frankie's being optimistic, and we have to stay there 10 years,
 as some have suggested?  Will we need another Memorial Wall built in Washington DC?
 It should say,  "These men sacrificed their lives for the B.F.E.E.'s greedy agression."

 Even if Bush loses in 2004, we can't just "up and pull out."
 We've destroyed the Iraqi government and much of their infrastructure.
 We can't just say "Nevermind, sorry about that," and leave - can we?

 This is what happens when a greeedy bastard wants more oil.

Say it with me, kids: L'Alpe d'Huez.
 It's a really big mountain and Lance is going to
demolish the field when he climbs the famed mountain.

There's also tons of baseball going on.
Check out the sports dish at BartCopSports!

And hey, drop me a line!
Tell me if I'm doing a good job or not.

Click to Enter

His lies have cost America 200 of her bravest soldiers

 Leadership and Logistical Failures Hurt Troops
  saw it on

  Click  Here

"I can only ask that these points be made available to everyone. I am sure that many have no idea
 about what their husbands, sons, wives, and daughters - their soldiers - are going through or have gone through.

 We have been America's war-fighters, we have liberated a country from conditions that are indescribable,
 and in return we are being kept here and are living in conditions that we liberated the Iraqis from. How is it
 that the people that fought and spilled blood on this soil against Iraqi forces are now given the responsibility
 of providing them comfort and humanitarian aid?

"They'd better not go AWOL - I'll have them shot if they do what I did."

 Poker fever

 What about a weekly, semi-friendly game hosted by, the sponsors for
 the Travel Channel's World Poker Tour on Wednesday nights.

 Subject: poker

 Yes..oh please God yes.  I've been playing at for a couple of weeks and it is great.
 A private room where we can talk about what a moron Bush is between flush draws would be awesome.

 Poker and politics.
 That's like sex and Chinaco.

 P lease, Bart, oh God of the Truth and all that is Sacred
 in this dark hour of our nation... make this happen.


 I would never play against the casino in an online gaming situation.  But the way this is set up, you're playing
 a plumber from Des Moines, a paint salesman from Midland and a mail carrier from Ysilanti. You don't
 have to outwit a million dollar casino, just some heavily-drinking regular guy at his computer in Tallahassee.

 Anyone else interested?

 Be sure and put "poker" in the subject header

 We had our first poker game Saturday night - and it was a great success!
 Details tomoro.

 Brand New!
Bush mushroom cloud "Bring 'em on" shirts! exclusive!
Buy a shirt, support and show the world
that you know there's an illegal monkey in the White House.

 Subject: Lee Hamilton - hammer on, bart


 Don't let anyone tell you to stop hammering on Lee Hamilton.
 I remember that asshole playing pussy-foot with George Herbert-Herbert back in Iran-Contr.

 Got my ass whipped for speaking out against him and all of Bush's bullshit too.

 Springfield, Missouri--home of crooked cops, judges, and redneck assholes
 who think the sun rises and sets in Bush's ass!


 The Democrats should've objected to "Whitewash Hamilton" getting the job in the first place.
 He's the opposite of Nancy Grace, dead certain that the defendant is innocent..

 Those poor 9-11 families will never know the truth, because the Democrats let Bush screw them.


 I heard a few minutes of an interview on public radio with Ari Fleischer the other day.
 Did you know both his parents are staunch Democrats?  He said the resident used to
 continually ask him if he'd won them over (does that sound obsessive, or what??).

 He said the monkey might have a remote chance with his mom,
 but his dad totally hates republicans.


 Feel bad for his parents; it's tough when your children go astray.


 Uncle OJ Watt's dad must've felt the same way.  He wrote the line,
 "A black man voting Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders."

Fight back with BartCop Radio

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 Martin Sheen Interview
   with  July 2003 Issue

  Click  Here

 In order to understand this Administration it is helpful to have a background in [Alcoholics Anonymous's] Twelve Step,
 because it is real clear to those of us who understand the Twelve Step program that these are very dysfunctional times.
 We live in a very dysfunctional society, and this is a very, very dysfunctional Administration. The proven way for this
 Administration to keep power is to keep us all in fear. As long as we are afraid of the unknown and afraid of each other,
 he, or anyone like him, can rule. It's like they will take responsibility for protecting us. It's when we take back the
 responsibility for protecting ourselves that they get scared. I am amazed by the level of arrogance within the Administration.

 Call the 

You have two minutes to rant away.

 Hey Bart,

 We have all three headline switches made by CBS as screenshots since they
 tried to out BUSH on the Niger Uranium SOTU Address.. they did it overnight!

 I thought your readers might want to see them..

 Many thanks, keep hammering,

 symbolman,  co-founder of Take Back the

 Mike, good stuff.

 Hey, since Weinerboy got himself fired for wishing death on a gay man,
 I guess his lawsuit against you just got a whole lot weaker.

 ha ha

 He was such a vulgar pig, his employer fired his Nazi ass.

 Ask Bart

 Hey, Bartcop.

 This is my first time writing you, and I just want to compliment you on your site.
 It unflinchingly tells the truth without fear of reprisal.

 Question - in what setting did "President" Bush say "F*ck Saddam, we're taking him out."?
 I hope it wasn't in a press conference or something. Did a reporter hear him say it or something?
 Just want to know the whole story behind it, and keep up the good work on the site!


 Henry, a reporter for Newsweek (maybe TIME) was interviewing Condi and Powell when Smirk
 stuck his head in the door and said those exact words, according to the magazine.

 He's not a Christian, he's a swaggering murderer with the mind of a child.

"I was just following God's specific commands."

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 Shirley - call The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Maybe leave a two-minute message...
 I'll play it for your fans at
 Maybe say some nasty things about fascist, sex-starved Bush.
 Shirley, as far as I know, our politics are identical.

Bush is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a stupid criminal and a greedy, blood-loving bastard.

 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool,
 and I'll catch you at the Vegas Hard Rock on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of quality humor.
 Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)

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