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Volume 1121 - Thou shalt not kill

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 Friday  July 25, 2003 


"It is genuinely incredible. The U.S. Treasury is empty, we are losing that stupid, fraudulent
  chickencrap war in Iraq, and every country in the world except a handful of corrupt Brits
  despises us. We are losers, and that is the one unforgivable sin in America.
  Big darkness, soon come. Take my word for it."
   -- Hunter S Thompson,  Attribution

 DeLay Is to Carry Dissenting Message on a Mideast Tour 

 Tom Delay, House Majority Leader,
 will visit Israel, Jordan and Iraq.

  Click  Here


"At a safe remove from the danger, some are now trying to cast doubt upon the decision to liberate Iraq.
  The ability to criticize is one of the great strengths of our democracy. But those who do so have an obligation
  to answer this question: How could any responsible leader have ignored the Iraqi threat?"
   -- Whistle Dick Cheney, snarling at anyone who's not with the B.F.E.E.    Attribution

 What threat?
 Iraq was going to fire rocket-propelled grenades at New York from Baghdad?
 You said America had to invade because of what Saddam might do in the future.

 Also, if Saddam was Hitler reborn, why did YOU do business with him, you sick bastard?
 Your invasion was partly justified on the basis of Saddam gassing his own people, but you
 did business with him AFTER that, so why have that in your justification?

 You made Saddam stronger when you did $23M worth of business with him at Halliburton.
 You had your pet chimp to lie about Baghdad, you sick bastard.
 How many barrels of Iraqi crude are you stealing per day, Whistle Dick?

 Corporate Tax Cheats Wreak Havoc On The Neediest Among Us
   by Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

 All across corporate America, high-priced accountants are hard at work helping companies avoid billions in taxes
 by hiding profits in a host of tax sheltering schemes. No summer vacation at the beach reading trashy actuarial tables
 for these guys. And they're doing a bang-up job: Corporations are currently turning over 30 percent less of their
 profits to the taxman than they did 20 years ago.

 Meanwhile, all across the country, state governments, facing the biggest budget crisis since the Great Depression,
 are being forced to slash programs and cut services.

 Gee, do you think there might be a connection?
 You can bet your vanishing after-school care, prenatal health program, and local law enforcement service there is.

 Subject: RE: Your Defense of Private Lynch

 I love it when you defend the military.
 I am a loyal, liberal democrat and I still believe not enough of us defend the military.

 It's nice to see a Republican-hater like you defend the military, and especially private Lynch.
 It proves to the right that a man or woman ca be liberal and still also support those who are
 willing to risk their lives to protect those of us who are "risk averse".

 However, not taking anything away from what she had done and what was done to her,
 the overblown exposition of the "rescue" and the flat out lies that at some point some of those
 soldiers engaged in hand to hand combat really do make me think I cannot trust those who run
 the military to tell me the truth about what that military does to protect my ass from invasion.


 You're right - the lies about her rescue should be attacked.
 Also, I changed your "the"  to  "those" because I think that's what you meant.
 We have a reader with a nephew in Iraq who took a bayonet in the shoulder,
 and that's about as hand-to-hand as combat can get.


"With more and more questions about the Bush administration rationale for going to war, its hard
  not to look at the Jessica Lynch saga with a cynical eye. Was she really a war hero... Or just in a
  really bad episode of "Punk'd"? One thing is for sure: Jessica witnessed terrible scenes of poverty
  and religious fanaticism. And that was just on the way from the airport to her house. Let me add,
  because some people attempt to purposefully distort things, that any 19 year old who joins the Army
  instead of trying to get into the MTV Beachhouse"(or American Idol) is heroic from the gitgo. It's not
  her fault that she's used as publicity pawn by spin doctors in the administration, any more than I'd
  blame the aircraft carrier for hosting another Bush photo op."
      --Bill Maher

 Subject:  assassinations

 I'm so old I remember when political assassinations were carried out covertly by the CIA
 because they knew the American public would be shocked and disapproving.  Mainstream
 America would have preferred, oh, I don't know, ..., a trial and sentencing or something.

 Now we're stuck in a loop of never-ending Clint Eastwood movies, with the cheering
 from the crowd almost drowning out the gunfire.

 Please, Koresh ... let us back on the other side of the looking glass!

 Pam G

 Recalls Are for Cars, Not California Governors
   by Bill Maher

  Click  Here

 Here's why the economy turned: The dot-com bubble burst. (Obviously on the orders of Gray Davis.)
 The airline industry collapsed. (Just as Gray Davis planned.) We fought two wars. (Playing right into Gray Davis' hands.)
 And Dick Cheney's friends at Enron "gamed" the energy market and ripped off the state for billions.

 So you can see the problem: Gray Davis.

 And the obvious solution: A Viennese weightlifter. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Finally, a candidate
 who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German.

 But there are still a lot of Democrats with sour grapes over the last presidential election,
 and they're not collecting petitions to replace George Bush with Bernie Mac.

 Review: Lake Placid
   by Midnight Warner

  Click  Here

 Subject: lying fascist bastards


 I can not stand it any more.
 Have been reading your web site for several days now and am glad someone has the guts to stand up.
 All of this discussion about W.M.D.'s is exposing the vast fraud and lies of these fascist's.
 That is what they are and it is very evident by their ACTIONS.  I look at what a person does,  not what he says.
 Bush says one thing and turns around and does another.

 He has crossed the line into a delusional world where I believe he actually believes his own lies.
 Bart, I beg of you and your readers to expose this fraud and you only need one man, ONE MAN!!!

 This pitiful excuse for a human being in washington does not give a damn or care about human life.
 The worst threat to our national security is George W. Bush and DICK HEAD Cheney, I believe mainly cheney.
 I believe with all my heart this fascist takeover can be traced to an exact point and time, November 22,1963.
 The president of the U.S. was murdered right in front of our face on film I believe by the very same forces in power today.
 Jefferson said, "you will need a good little revolution every 20 years".  And to dissent is patriotic.
 Tar and feathers is to good for anyone associated with fox news.

 now I will become one of your members.

 Woody W.

 Subject: Dead men tell no tales

 Seeing those bloody pictures of Ootie and Cootie on the tube yesterday, kinda reminded me of
 the Old West practice of distributing graphic photos of outlaws killed in shoot outs, as a form of
 morbid entertainment.  It's good to see that our society has evolved so much since those lawless days.

 I wonder if Dubya has plans to stuff and mount the heads of the Hussein boys, like hunting trophies.
 He could hang one on the wall of the old White House, and the other could decorate his bedroom
 at the "Western White House" in Crawford, Tx.  That reminds me, isn't it about time for Der Fueler
 to take another one of his hard-earned month-long vacations?

 R Lewis

 Pickles will hang the heads in their bedroom because nothing gives
 Bush a woodie like killing a dark-skinned man who once had oil.

 Computer Voting Is Open to Easy Fraud, Experts Say

  Click  Here

 The software that runs many high-tech voting machines contains serious flaws that would
 allow voters to cast extra votes and permit poll workers to alter ballots without being detected,
 computer security researchers said yesterday.

"We found some stunning, stunning flaws," said Aviel D. Rubin, technical director of the Information
 Security Institute at Johns Hopkins University, who led a team that examined the software from
 Diebold Election Systems, which has about 33,000 voting machines operating in the United States.

 Peter G. Neumann, an expert in computer security at SRI International, said the Diebold code
 was "just the tip of the iceberg" of problems with electronic voting systems.

 "This is an iceberg that needs to be hacked at a good bit," Mr. Neumann said, "so this is a step forward."

Marty's E! page
Fresh BAGnews
'The West Wing' has a new writing team
Merle Haggard's speaking up
Shania Twain is a Cubs fan
'Friends' spin-off is 'Joey' with Matt LeBlanc
Investigations into Clear Channel?
Drew Carey shilling Mickey Mouse
Confessions of a cad
And, a cup of poodle


 Subject: Good News, Bart!

 Bart--he should be home by the end of the week! :-)

 That was from  Joe B in Los Angeles, whose nephew, Jon, is a medic in Iraq.
 Jon took a shot in the kevlar and a bayonet in the shoulder while helping a downed soldier.

 Joe, when Jon gets his Purple Heart, can I run a picture of it?

Click Don Ricklesfeld to visit

 A note from Sandy Hackett, Buddy's son 

  Click  Here

 To whomever wrote those kind words about Buddy ...thanks...'s some more thoughts you might  like.

 Have a question or a comment?

  Email Bart

 Subject: Saddam's sons

 Hey Bart

 Do you think that killing Saddam's sons was as stupid as I do?
 Especially in a fashion that reminds too much of Waco
 (Koresh rest their souls, the Branch Davidians, that is)

 Those sick bastards probably needed dying, but it's sad to see Republicans and the whore media
 dancing and prancing around like the Munckins singing, "Ding dong, the Wicked With is dead."

 If there was anyone who knew most of Sadam's secrets, wouldn't it have been his two sons?
 They might have been impossible to turn but I bet a 14 year old could have been talked into
 revealing a lot. And he is said to have gone everywhere with his Dad.

 Or did Bush off them because they knew the régime's secrets?


 Our boys would've shown those two a whole new world of torture they never knew existed.
 They knew that, too, so no way they were going to be taken alive.

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 There were no spoons

 I made myself a ham and provalone sandwich Thursday night.

 Sandwich is named after the Earl of Sandwich who was too busy playing poker to eat,
 so he ordered trays of meat served between slices of bread so as not to dirty the cards.

 Also, "The buck stops here."
 Harry Truman wrote that, but do you know what it means?

 "The buck" is a white puck used in poker games to designate the dealer.
  The dealer, ...the anchorman, the Dude in charge of the game of poker.

 I looked for a spoon to dob some Ranch Dressing on my ham-prov.
 I looked in the silverware draw - and it was empty.


 ...I asked Mrs Bart why the silverware drawer was empty, and she said it was empty because back in 1991
 I was in a bad mood and asked her why there were no clean shot glasses and she quit doing the dishes that day
 in protest to see how long it would take me to notice.  Twelve years later it finally caught up to me.

 Antisocial personality disorder

  Click  Here


"I answered the doorbell, and there they were, right in front of my face ... this is a disaster for me."
   --Nawaf Zaidan Nasiri, telling the Washington Whore Post about the day he opened his home and saw
      Ootie and Kootie, told him they were moving in to hide from U.S. troops,   Attribution

...from Marty's E! Page!

BTW, Marty's E! Page turns TWO tomorrow!

 Trapped in a quagmire, again

  Click  Here

 So now the United States has trapped itself in a quagmire in Iraq, and the end game is not clear.
 When Arabs in Lebanon blew up a Marine barracks, Reagan withdrew our forces. But Texans
 don't run away, so that option is not available. We might finally decide to turn the whole game
 over to the United Nations, but that would involve national humiliation.

 So we will be trapped in the quagmire indefinitely as the president's approval rating plummets.
 What will the administration do? My guess is that it will turn mean--though that will only make
 matters worse. The soldiers from the 3rd Division who complained to ABC News are under
 threat of punishment. The ABC reporter is dismissed as a homosexual Canadian. These punitive
 actions are likely to be only the beginning. The ultimate unintended consequences could be a police state.

 The Smirk is the Tip Off
   saw it on

  Click  Here

 The real issue is: Why didn't he know?

 We're not talking about fudging answers about sex in the Oval Office. This was about war, about
 military peoples' lives and the lives of thousands of innocents. This was about the honor of the USA,

 Colin Powell personally vetted his speech before the UN.  He dumped many questionable assertions
 the administration's speechwriters wanted him to say. (He also retained some that have since been found to be untrue.)

 Bush ducked that responsibility. He didn't think it was important to present an honest case.
 He'd already decided to attack Iraq. This was just the sales pitch, the con job.
 Now he's blaming other people for what came out of his mouth.

 Hey Bart,

 This may be the greatest art T-shirt design, and wish I could tell you who the artist was.
 This design was on the chest of the bartender yesterday (male!), on the shores of Lac Léman,
 Switzerland (Geneva) and when asked, he said he'd bought it at the anti-G8 rallies in early June
 ... I know, a longgg time ago!  ;-)

 It speaks for itself: I wish and if someone knows the creator, I'm sure he/she could sell a lot
 more shirts through you.  Copyright does have a purpose, but the attribution is 'Anon.'


 Subject: Kobe

 Also, as I was thinking about it, having sex with another woman when you're married
 with a six month old child is pretty scummy don't you think? Wouldn't this count as
 something "bad" to say about Kobe?

 From what I understand when the charge was first made he lied about it
 and then later said they had sex. Doesn't that go to his credibility?

 Sam Dent

 Sam, "pretty scummy?"  Yes, but I'm convinced most men cheat on their wives.
 I would put the figure as high as 75 percent, so you could amend that statement
 to say, "Most men are pretty scummy," when it comes to keeping their marriage vows.

 Also, remember what Chris Rock said: "Men are as faithful as their options."
 After a typical NBA game, dozens of women are at the clubhouse door offering to have
 whatever sex with these players. I've never cheated on Mrs Bart, but to be honest, I don't
 have playmate-caliber women throwing themselves at me constantly.

 The reason I didn't mention it is because everyone already knows he cheated on her.

 When the rape charge was first made public, Kobe said to reporters,
 "C'mon, you know me - you know me better than that. You shouldn't even have to ask."
 He was denying the rape, not the affair.

 In another e-mail you sent, you seemed to recoil from the report that Kobe's accuser tried to
 kill herself with pills a month before making her accusation. You don't think that's relevant?

 In a he said-she said case, if one of them is having mental stability problems, I think
 most people would agree that it turns the 50-50 into a different equation.

  Click  Here

 Watching BushCo Crumble
  Ratings slipping, economy tanking, lies spiraling, credibility shot
   by Mark Morford

  Click  Here

 Maybe it's the regular slew of lies. You know the ones: "proof" of uranium purchases, "proof" of Iraqi
 nuke facilities, "proof" of WMDs, poison gas, plus two quick and "painless" wars, a robust economy,
 women's rights, gay rights, America proud and strong and respected the world over, a nice shiny
 oil-sucking SUV for every flag-waving misguided Fox News-drugged American.   Ha.

 Funny how the BS can wear you down.

How stupid is the governor?
He doesn't even have the brains to know
you're not supposed to desecrate the flag.

Lance is a minute ahead!
There's also tons of baseball.
Check out BartCopSports!

And hey, drop Steve a line!
Get involved, send in your opinions.

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"What would you people who wanted us to go into Kosovo and Bosnia for humanitarian
  reasons and to stop ethnic cleansing call what was going on in Iraq?"
     --Rush Limbaugh

 But Pigboy, we didn't lose ANY soldiers when Clinton went into Kosovo and Bosnia.
 Why can't you flag-waving yahoos understand that there's a big difference between zero dead and 238 dead.

 Also, when nobody died in Kosovo you fucking complained about it.
 Somewhere, I have the audio of you complaining that no Americans were dying.
 You said, "If it's worth fighting for, it's worth dying for, and none of our
 people are dying - so what are we doing there?"

 You would have given the hand you don't jack off with for some dead soldiers back then.
 Well, you stupid, ignorant son of a bitch - you got your wish.

 Letter to the Editor

 Powell is consistent

 Colin Powell lied and covered up the well-documented My lai massacre in Vietnam.
 Now he is lying to cover up forged evidence that was used to justify the murder and
 armed robbery of Iraq.  At least he is consistent.

 My little ne'er-do-well buddy in the Tulsa World

 Subject: Randy Weaver

 He's still alive.

 You might want to change that part of your post to 'Randy Weaver's wife"
 --although there are probably people who would blame Bill for killing someone who's still alive.


 ha ha

 I have made the necessary changes.
 This is what happens when a not-too-bright guy goes too fast.

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 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at 238.

 Note: Believe this figure.
 It's from

 Thanks to Kent Bye, who is a great filmmaker.

 Call the 

You have two minutes to rant away.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

                          Super Shirley

 Shirley - call The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Maybe leave a two-minute message...

 I'll play it for your fans at
 Maybe say some nasty things about fascist monkey called Bush.
 Shirley, as far as I know, our politics are identical.

Bush is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a stupid criminal and a greedy, blood-loving bastard.

 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard Rock on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of quality humor.
 Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)

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