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Vegas Report

Volume 1128 - Festival of Hungry Ghosts

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 Mon-Tues   Aug 4-5, 2003 


"The President said two weeks ago on page one of his budget report that we have a $455 billion deficit
  at the end of next month; that's when the end of the fiscal year terminates. The truth of the matter is,
  you turn to page 57 of the report and you'll see it's $698 billion. And he admits to a $700 billion deficit,
  so you can see why the market goes down. Everyone sees who invests that there's no reason to invest
  because the interest rates are going up and you can't carry your investments."
    -- Fritz Hollings, telling the truth about America's worst serial killer

 Bush's 9-11 Secrets
  The Government Received Warnings of Osama's Plans

  Click  Here

 Even though Bush has refused to make parts of the 9-11 report public, one thing is startlingly clear:
 The U.S. government had received repeated warnings of impending attacks—and attacks using planes
 directed at New York and Washington—for several years. The government never told us about what
 it knew was coming.

 See for yourself. The report lists 36 different summaries of warnings dating back to 1997. Among them:

 Warning: This is The Village Voice, so you will be buried in moving, blinking spam pop-ups if you click.


 You say the president has broken promises. Which ones?

"His environmental record is widely understood to be probably the worst in most people’s lives.
  His promise to create jobs—he lost jobs not created them. His promise of tax cuts in the middle class
  —most people’s middle-class taxes went up because their property taxes increased. His promise that
  he would make the next generation more financially secure. It certainly was the opposite of that.
  He’s massed trillions of dollars’ worth of debt. The list goes on forever."
     --Howard Dean,  Newsweek

 The Texas Leg. Flap Explained
   by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

 Basically, the reason 11 Democratic senators from Texas are on the lam
 in New Mexico is BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR.

 You may think that's childish, but there are some important principles at stake here.
 Like, you're supposed to play by the rules. And you're not supposed to change the rules in the middle of the game.
 And then, just a minor point, there is the small matter of democracy.

 Subject: What the fuck is happening to you?

 It's always nice to hear from a fan...

 I'm a daily visitor who is an enormous fan of your sharp wit, political foresight, and self-deprecation.
 However, I'm becoming more and more concerned over a recent trend that has developed in your page's content.

 You seem needlessly obsessed over the pop culture media big tents in progress.  Laci Peterson?  Kobe Bryant?
 Koresh, who really gives a fuck?  I realize that these are everyday talking points of Joe Six-Pack, and they deserve
 a mention for humor's sake, but you are off assigning reporters on these trivial distractions when there are much
 more important tasks at hand.

 Assign a reporter to look more deeply into the Diebold voting machines, the TX re-districting stratagem,
 the outer-space far right judicial nominees, or whether or not Ashcroft experimented with hebephilic
 homosexuality in college (Ok, I made that up).  But seriously Bart, you're a real inspiration for me,
 and I'm having trouble dealing with a hero digressing into the utterly mundane.

 Please, reverse course and re-examine your compass.

 Derek B.

 Derek, OK, why don't you keep an eye on the Diebold story for us?
 You seem to have a way with words...

 The state of California announced their intention to take a man's life without a murder weapon,
 a crime scene, a motive, a witness and apparently hardly any forensic evidence.
 I think that's an important story - we disagree on that.

 The Kobe Bryant matter is so big, it seems to be changing the way we look at rape and the "rules"
 of covering a rape trial. Colorado has a history of weird justice, and it's a blond lady accusing
 a black superstar with a clean reputation and an all-white jury.  That looks like real news to me,
 but apparently we disagree there, too.

 I look forward to seeing your work.


"It's time we stood up to this president and stopped being intimidated
  by the Rush Limbaughs on the radio. We can do better than that."
    --Howard Dean,   Attribution

 It's too early to pick a favorite, but Dean is saying the things I want to hear.

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 I wonder how we could police an A.A.R.P. discount, too?
 The Social Security and "fixed income" people might like 
 Have a question, a sound file or a comment?

  Email Bart

Jim Furyk's last four wins have come when
Mr Perfect is the defending champion.


"As the economy kind of got going again, the enemy attacked us.
  September the 11th had a significant impact on our economy."
   -- lying bastard who some call president   Attribution

 He loves to blame his old partner Osama for his recession.

 The war according to Hack

  Click  Here

 David Hackworth called Donald Rumsfeld an "asshole" whose bad planning mired U.S. troops in Iraq.
 His sources? Defiant soldiers sending dispatches from the front


 Read this in Monday's edition:

 > The Vegas Hard Rock serves $75 tequila shots because there are enough people in this world
 > stupid enough to spend that much on something they will either puke or piss away in a matter of hours.

 > If you think about it really hard, I've never attacked you.
 > Why did you think it would be cool to attack me?

 I think he was ripping the Hard Rock, not you, Bart.

 Pablo, I believe your assessment is in error.
 When he said, "there are people in this world stupid enough..."
 he's calling people who are willing to pay extra to avoid Jose Cuervo "stupid."

 I'll bet he's a Cuervo drinker.
 I thought I showed restraint.

 Truth be told, I lose readers and subscribers when they attack and I show restraint,
 further proving there is no God.

Larry Flynt, California's next governor,
knows how to kick off a political campaign

Click  Here


 I've noticed many seemingly-unrelated attempts to "revive" the legend of Ronald Reagan,
 including the christening of the new aircraft carrier named after him. PBS is showing a feature
 about "Reagan in Hollywood," and there have been others.

 Has anyone else noticed this, and how do we bring the real truth to the public about him,
 his policies and the forces that used him (and are now using GWB)? Any ideas?


 Mark, I disagree.
 Reagan is forgotten and he's been abandoned by the right.
 In today's GOP, Bush is God, Reagan is a forgotten nobody.
 That carrier was named years and years ago, it's just now coming online.
 The PBS piece is filler they have to burn off.

 Bush is the greatest president in history, and Reagan was a punk-ass, wannabe nobody.
 The media is trying so damned hard to make the Drunk Deserter into another Lincoln.

 Reagan doesn't even deserve a footnote, compared to the great Dubya.
 Hell, Reagan was such a piker, he never even tried to take over the world.

Click to visit
"Yeah, they fired me at WLS Monday.
But I'll take the lemons and make lemonade."

I'd be a sexist pig if I said Nancy Skinner
would be the hottest babe in the senate,
so I'll just keep that thought to myself.

Marty's E! page
Disinfotainment Today by Michael Dare
What happened to Betty Bowers?
Aretha Franklin & the NFL
Clinton & Dole - done debating?
A new Faberge egg for St. Petersburg
Jay Leno to be made over by the 'Queer Eye' guys
CBS is remaking 'Helter Skelter'
Ari Fleischer's new job
A sign language glove
And a tiger tub



"I write this at my own peril. My Naderite friends will tear me to pieces for saying what I'm about to say
  but I have to say it. The single most important goal for all moderates, liberals, progressives, radicals and
  libertarians in the next 16 months must be the defeat of Bush in the 2004 elections...Greens need to think
  about what they are doing. We are in a different situation now than in 2000. We are not faced with an
  unknown entity. We know exactly how the Bush administration runs things, and we need to stop them.
  In key states like Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida, the Green vote could play a key role.
  Do you want to feel good because you voted for Ralph Nader or do you want to see somebody other
  than Bush in the White House? Sure, if a Democrat wins, he or she won't be what you want and his
  or her policies will make you mad -- but at least they won't make you afraid."
      --Richard Coduri, Greens, grow up and vote Democratic

 Will this plea do any good?
 The Nader worshippers who write to me are so very proud that they put Bush in office, and they are f-ing giddy
 at the thought that they can do it a second time.  Ralph has convinced them that Al Gore was an evil oil man,
 bent on taking over the world, ...and they fell for that lie.

 I used to run this toon a lot.
 How naive we were, thinking all Bush would do is ruin the environment.

 Little did we know he'd create perpetual war and recesssion and get hundreds of
 brave men killed in a illegal and fake war that did nothing but make his friends rich.

 Thanks, Nader voters...

 Dangerous minds 
  Ann Coulter tears into the 'treasonous' liberal opposition

  Click  Here

 Fortunately, "Treason" eschews the scandalous violent reveries for which Coulter's become known.
 For example: "In this recurring nightmare of a presidency, we have a national debate about whether
 Clinton 'did it,' even though all sentient people know he did. Otherwise there would be debate only
 about whether to impeach or assassinate."

 Home Sweet Home Becomes Lord of the Flies
    by Christian Livemore

  Click  Here

 Our kitchen used to be relatively clean. Now every surface is  covered with some unidentifiable sticky substance.
 We don't know what it is, but we notice that the children leave a trail of it wherever they go, like snails.

 Our floors used to be uncluttered. Now there are approximately 752,000 crayons spread across them at any given time.
 We leap our way across them from room to room like loggers on logs floating downriver. And we hardly ever fall. Ha ha!

Read about it in BartCopSports!

Click to Enter


"Congratulations to Ann Coulter for outselling Hillary this week..."
    -- Sean Hanni-job, on his Monkey FOX Show

 Hey Sean,

 ...this week,  got more hits than the theatrical release of Gone With the Wind.
 Using your rules,  is due congratulations for outselling Gone With the Wind.

 NY Times Bestseller List: Week of August 10th, 2003

1 KATE HEPBURN REMEMBERED, by A. Scott Berg. (Putnam, $25.95.)

2 LIVING HISTORY, by Hillary Rodham Clinton. (Simon & Schuster, $28.)

3 TREASON, by Ann Coulter. (Crown Forum, $26.95.)  (+)
  "A dagger (+) indicates that some bookstores report receiving bulk orders."

 Richard Mellon Scarfe is buying thousands to help his puppet, Ann.

 Mike Tyson's Bankruptcy

  Click  Here

 At 37, Tyson's boxing skills are diminishing, and so is his earning power; he could once command $30 million
 for a night's work. His future earnings and the future proceeds from the sale of a Connecticut mansion will go
 to pay a $9 million divorce settlement to his ex-wife, Monica Turner. She also has a lien on Tyson's Las Vegas
 estate, which is beside Wayne Newton's.   And now, much as he ardently hammered at his opponents' jaws,
 Tyson's creditors will pursue his asset

 / does a shot...

 I know Mike Tyson is an incorrigible animal, but don't you think if he'd had some guidance,
 some father figure to show him the ropes, he could've turned out a whole lot different?

 I saw him on Carson Daly last night, and deep down, I can tell he's a human being.
 It's sad to see a man self-implode before the cameras...

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 Stewart, ‘Daily Show’ at top of their game
  Program drawing larger audience, accolades

  Click  Here

“I do believe we need to go to a 24-hour fake news channel,” he said.
“Fox can’t be the only fake news channel out there!”

 On Aug. 14, Hillary Rodham Clinton, is Stewart’s guest.

 Click  Here  for Jon's  Gray Davis recall funny

 More Calls to Vet Voting Machines

  Click  Here

 A recent report that showed touch-screen voting machines could be vulnerable to hackers
 spurred the National Association of Secretaries of State, a majority of whose members are
 in charge of their states' elections, to consider whether the standards for the machines should
 be beefed up to prevent tampering.


 the reason they don't show the real 'fence' (a wall) on TV here is because
 we made the big deal about tearing down the wall that separated Germany

 ....and now we're supporting this know, the 2-faced politics...
 Republicans are good for it...


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"...we've got the weakest president and weakest government in the history of my 50 years of public service.
  I say weak president in that the poor boy campaigns all the time and pays no attention to what's going on
  in the Congress. Karl Rove tells him to do this or do that or whatever it is, but he's out campaigning.
 As a result... the country – our country – is headed in the wrong direction."
   -- Fritz Hollings, who waits until he's retiring to speak out

 Review - Sex and the City, Episode #80 "Hop, Skip And A Week"
  by Midnight Warner

 You can never get enough sex and if you're like me you can never get
 enough city either, so you know where my weaknesses lie.

 In this episode of Sex and the City something happens to Carrie that happens to us all
 at one point or another – she gets called to jury duty.  And, oh yeah, she gets dumped.
 She gets dumped in a very bad way too.

 It's just not working out between Carrie and her frustrated novelist boyfriend. He can't stand
 her success and thinks that every little thing she says to him is an insult.  Really, she should have
 dumped him but, alas, he ditches her and that is often the way of the world. However, in a not-so-subtle
 move by the writers, Carrie "unexpectedly" gets a call from the love/pain-of-her life, Big.

 Could the producers be setting us up for a reunion?
 A little too blatantly for my taste but we'll just have to watch and find out.

 Waspy  Charlotte is still a Jew and that apparently means, at least for this episode,  she has to be
 set up with loser men by Jewish mothers. However, her one-and-only Jew takes her back big time,
 as Dick Cheney would say, and asked Charlotte if she'll marry him.  She and her Jew are making
 arrangements with the a Chinese restaurant right now. (Note, that was just an obscure Jackie Mason reference.)

 Miranda has to cut back at work, down to as little as 50 to 55 hours a week, so she can be with her baby more often.

 Samantha has a lot of sex.  (So what's new?) And her management of her hunky actor's/sex buddies career
 is doing quite well. Samantha, with protest from Smith, has him pose for an Absolute ad with nothing but a
 bottle strategically placed over a certain body part. Now he's playing a junkie model in a movie.

 Will Miranda and Steve and Carrie and Big finally get together? Will Charlotte continue to make a convincing Jew?
 Will Samantha ever get tired? Tune in next week and find out.


 I've only been recently introduced to your site,
 I've become a rabid fan of the

 If anything, just wanted to say thank you for your efforts to make us laugh
 and make us informed--on both counts you succeed in my book.


 Lora, that was cool - thanks.

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 A Drumbeat to War 

  Click  Here

"Mr. Bush's carefully recited comments about the ‘true' cause of America's economic grief are pretty amazing,
 even for Mr. Bush, after he, Mr. Cheney, Mr. Rumsfeld, all the President's men, and Condi Rice spent the
 entire year before the Iraq war carefully and progressively ramping up public panic over the mountain of hard
 evidence they assured us they had about the deadly Iraqi ‘weapons of mass destruction.' Even Tony Blair was
 convinced, and it may cost him his job. One could have deduced that Saddam Hussein was about to nuke us all.
 America HAD to act, even if the wimps at the UN wouldn't. The danger was that great. One could almost feel
 the fallout from those damned Iraqi nukes sapping our precious bodily fluids."

 Letter to the Editor

 For years, the worst nightmare of the conservatives was that when the baby boomers
 began to take power, the country would end up with a president who was a draft-dodging,
 drug-addled deserter who would wreck the economy and bankrupt the government with deficit spending.

 When I think of the money and effort the conservatives put into getting Bush into the presidency,
 I am appalled at the lengths some people will go, just to be right.
   -an American citizen

 Presidential candidates who have come out against Bush


#2 still weighing options...
#3 still weighing options...
#4 still weighing options...
#5 still weighing options...
#6 still weighing options...
#7 still weighing options...
#8 still weighing options...
#9 still weighing options...

Only one candidate has taken on the Illegal Monster in the White House.

I have half a mind to leave this up until a second candidate decides
to mimic Dean and start telling the goddamn truth about The Failure in Thief.

Why can't America find work?
Because a Republican stole the White House...

Saw it on BartCop Stocks

 Subject: Graham

 Yo bart-

 I dig the way you're pimping dean hard but I just saw your rant on the
 members page identifying him as the ONLY guy call a Smirk a Smirk.

 I think Graham has earned his wings too. He voted against Chimpy's Vanity war,
 has stated publicly that Bush's State of the Union lie-fest meets current standards
 of impeachable offense, and loves to refer to "Osama bin Forgotten".

 What's a poor boy gotta do to please ol' Bartcop?


 I agree, and I've said Dean and Graham are the two who've spoken out,
 but Dean bought TV time in Texas to call Bush a fraud. So far, Dean is the man.

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  248 250

 Get this.
 I had a bandwidth issue with running tiny pictures of flad-draped caskets.
 Get that.

 Since too many brave men have died in Iraq this year, if I put up a tiny casket
 to represent each man who died for his country, that issue becomes too large
 to fit on some servers like web-tv.   Ain't that a bitch?

 So, like some giddy-ass birthday cake for Aunt Bertha, our "cake" has just one candle.

 Note: Believe this figure.
 It's from

 Total since Bush's "Bring Them On" swaggering stupidity (7/2): 46
 Total since the murders of Ootie & Cootie (7/22): 18

 There have been no brave young men killed since our last issue.
 I feel like saying a prayer of thanks.

 Call the

You have two minutes to rant away.


 Kathleen here from Ruskin FL. I try to pull up bartcop at different public libraries and find that
 the installed filters often block the site.(I think it is those old pix of Dr. Laura...they made you unfit).

 Laura the Unloved should be blocked, not Ol' Bart

 We librarians went all the way to the Supreme Court to get rid of the things (American Library Association)
 but we lost....but maybe aspect of the decision said that while all the computers in public libraries

 So, bartcoppers go out and try to pull up bartcop...if it's blocked they ask for unfiltered.
 There are lots of different filters used. We could have a bartcop day, fan out to different libraries,
 then protest. Marc Perkel can probably explain the filtering thing. I mean it might be interesting.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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