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Volume 1132 - True Lies

Please visit our sponsors

 Weekend   Aug 9-10, 2003 


"As long as it takes to win this war on terror."
   --Dubya, when asked how long our soldiers would be dying in Iraq  Attribution

 What he means is,
 "Until greedy oil men have enough money or my second term, whichever comes first."

 "I guess one of the challenges we have to understand is that our job is to reduce risk.
  The president intuitively realized we are at war. It is a permanent condition.."
   --Tom Ridge, lying to please his King

 The president can't intuitively decide if it's raining or Kim Jung Ill is peeing on his leg.
 When those planes hit the WTC, he didn't call out the F-16s.
 He sat there with the other children, reading the goat story for 45 minutes.

 ...but of course, the press will continue to cover for him and insist he's a hero.

 Gulf War II 'Mystery Illness' 

  Click  Here

 The American Gulf War Veterans Association (AGWVA), an independent Gulf War Veterans’ support organization,
 has long searched for answers to explain why nearly half of the 697,000 Gulf War I Veterans are now ill and why over
 200,000 of those servicemen/women have requested disability, but have received no adequate diagnosis or treatment,
 from either the Department of Defense (DOD), or Veteran’s Affairs. Though there have been over 125 studies done
 by the government at the cost of over $300,000,000 to the taxpayer, we still have no answers as to what caused so
 many of our soldiers to become ill.  Meanwhile, the suffering veterans are receiving little, if any, medical treatment for
 this illness.  It seems that whenever veterans become ill, the term “mystery illness” seems to be the first and often the
 only diagnosis that is ever made.  Veterans are then left to fend for themselves, sick and unable to work, with little
 hope of a normal life again.

 The AGWVA is now again asking questions, this time, about the newest “mystery illness” to hit the military.

 True, we have hundreds of thousands of sick and abandoned veterans,
 but the good news is,
 the Bush Family Evil Empire have made billions off both wars they started for no good reason.

 ...and for some wild reason, they continue to love Bush no matter what he does to them..


"The Iraqi resolution halted the immunity to the point of sale. Once the oil is sold, the revenues are there
  for the development fund's Coffers. Bush went further, he went through the whole lifetime of that oil,
  once the title passes hands, it's still immune, as long as it's handled by U.S. corporations. So once it's on
  a tanker, once in the U.S. marketplace, once it's at the gas pump, it's still immune from any kind of
  accountability for anything that happens associated with the handling of that oil."
     --Jim Vallette,   Total Immunity?

 I think Jim's missing the bigger picture: Bush and the B.F.E.E. are stealing that oil.
 There are accountable to nobody.
 They can pump out 2M barrels a day and say they only got 200,000 barrels.

 (Catholic math: 1.8M barrels at $34 each = $61,000,000 per day, tax free for the B.F.E.E.
  That's almost $2 billion in stolen profits per month - and who's going to stop them?

 The Baghdad police force?

 The Democrats?

 The American press?

 The French?

 Safeguarding the Vote

  Click  Here

 Since 1964, Voter News Service (VNS), owned by a consortium of broadcast and print media, provided exit polling
 election-night projections. Following the election fiasco of 2000, VNS undertook a complete redesign of its computers.
 On election day 2002, VNS announced that, due to computer problems, it would produce no projections. VNS has
 never released its exit-polling data from the 2002 elections. In January 2003, the owners of VNS announced that they
 were disbanding the service, which has a historical record of remarkable accuracy.

 A growing number of people see a sinister trend in these computer difficulties.

 I'll never forget election night 2000.
 The networks called Florida for Gore, and the smarking chimp called reporters to his luxury bungalo
 and guaranteed them that the call was wrong and that he would win Florida when it was all over.

 How could he possibly be that confident - unless the fix was in?
 Remember, he'd never worked a day in his life, and he'd never been in a fair fight.
 How could he know for sure that the networks would reverse themselves?
 Did the B.F.E.E. order the networks to reverse their calls?

Joe the loser Lieberman


"We learned a lesson September the 11th, and that is, our nation is vulnerable to attack.
  The best way to secure America is to get the enemy before they get us, and that's what's happening in Iraq."
      -- The Lying Pinhead, Aug. 8, 2003

 Hey Moron, why don't you go after the guys who brought down the WTC, instead?
 Is it because you can't steal $2B a month finding Osama?

"How is this Bart guy still alive?
 Cut his tongue out and shoot him, before I lose my temper..."

 To: KB Toys
 Subject: Bush Doll

 Why not show this doll going AWOL during National Guard duty?
 Why not show this doll hiding in a hole while the country was under attack on 9-11?
 Did you forget to add the sock in the croch for effect?

 Are you going to give the proceeds to the families of our brave soldiers who
 have died since this pinhead declared "Mission Accomplished"?

 You have no shame!

 Charles F. S

 Defense of marriage?

 You know how the GOP would rather climb a tree and condemn gay marriage
 than stand on the ground and mind their own f-ing business?

 They don't want to allow gay marriage because it's not the will of the Invisible Cloud Being,
 but they recognize a forced, arranged marriage from a undeveloped nation with no problem.

 Why is that?

 I know a guy who married the woman his parents picked out for him,
 so who is surprised when that man cheats on his wife?

 How hollow is a marriage vow with someone you don't love?

 Subscriber help

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 If your e-mail address ends with .edu  you can get members priviliges for just $5 a month.
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 Still working on that AARP thing...

 Is membership  worth $5 a month when you're on a tight budget?

 I wonder how we could police an A.A.R.P. discount, too?
 The Social Security and "fixed income" people might like 
 Have a question, a sound file or a comment?

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"The barbecue here was closed to the news media, ensuring there would
   be no public images of Bush mingling with his elite fund raisers."
     --Will Lester, covering Bush's Billionaire Bar-B-Q Blowout   Attribution

 The Movie Arnold Doesn't Want You To See

  Click  Here

 The film captures the Austrian Oak in all his vicious, megalomaniacal glory:  Arnold bullying,
 tricking, and psyching out his dopey rival Lou Ferrigno.  Arnold extolling his own ambitions:
 "I was always dreaming about very powerful people, dictators, people like Jesus, being
 remembered for thousands of years."  Plus, Arnold lighting up a fat celebratory joint.

 Career officer does eye-opening stint inside Pentagon

  Click  Here

 Defined as ``reasoning or decision-making by a group, often characterized by uncritical acceptance or
 conformity to prevailing points of view,'' groupthink was, and probably remains, the predominant characteristic
 of Pentagon Middle East policy development. The result of groupthink is the elevation of opinion into a kind of
 accepted ``fact,'' and uncritical acceptance of extremely narrow and isolated points of view.

 The result of groupthink has been extensively studied in the history of American foreign policy, and it will have a
 prominent role when the history of the Bush administration is written. Groupthink, in this most recent case leading
 to the invasion and occupation of Iraq, will be found, I believe, to have caused a subversion of constitutional limits
 on executive power and a co-optation through deceit of a large segment of the Congress.

 So, under the Unelected Idiot, you either go along with their version of events, i.e. Saddam has WMDs,
 or you're branded as "one of them" and your career is finished. No wonder we're in have another Vietnam.

Thanks to

Marty's E! page
Letterman's Top Ten from Friday
The series finale of 'Futurama' tonight on Faux
Merle Haggard formed his own label
Confederate time was 26 minutes behind Yankee time
The world's largest jackfruit
Michael Huffington is solidly behind Arnold
'Best Song Of The Month' website
A Japanese black-tailed gull spotted in Chicago
And a bunch of links



"The "death tax," as the Republicans so cleverly misnamed the estate tax, which affects 2 percent
  of all Americans, has now been replaced by the Bush birth tax — if you're born in this country,
  you're in debt — you have to help pay back the money the Bushies took out of Social Security,
  plus the interest on the debts they're running up."
   --Molly Ivins, Attribution

 Bush sings "I want it now"

 Bin Laden Disappears from U.S. Radar Screen

  Click  Here

"... in all the hype and news coverage in Iraq, it appears that a true, committed, anti-US terrorist, Osama bin Laden
 has been more or less forgotten. The same bin Laden who appeared on 60 Minutes and warned the U.S. of his agenda
 of destruction of the "great Satan" cannot even get any sound bites on the U.S. media these days, whereas Saddam is
 not only the lead story in countless reports, but has thousands of U.S. troops hot on his trail, even though he has little
 ability to hurt U.S. interests at this point."

"It's been 691 days since Bush said he'd catch Osama bin Laden 'Dead or Alive!"

"Nevermind about Osama - Saddam gassed his own people..."

 Hey Musclehead, how are you going to fix California's economy?

"I'm going to pump up Sacramento, just you watch..."

 No, you idiot, I mean specifically, what programs will you downsize or eliminate?

"I'll be back...with details later..."

 No, you steroid-addled fool, the election is in just weeks away.
 Tell the voters what you're going to do to save them from Bush's energy rapes.

"I'll tell the debt, Hasta la vista, baby!"

 How do you expect to get elected if you know nothing about the issues?

"I'm running a Dubya-style campaign..."

Check  today's

Click to Enter


"Guess you heard President Bush passed his annual physical with flying colors.
  Doctors say his reflexes are excellent. Every time, they hit him on the knee,  he bombed Iraq."
     --Jay Leno

 Subject: The Beatles

 Hey Bart,

 I'm one of your most faithful readers, and I do love the Beatles! I read this article even before you cited it,
 and accept the thesis without reservation: The Beatles did cause the collapse of the Soviet Union.
 There's no calculating the positive influence they had on the entire world--and would continue to have if
 it weren't for the forces of darkness and evil now running things--could anyone in the BFEE appreciate
 "I Am the Walrus"? "All You Need Is Love"? "Don't Let Me Down" (my absolute favorite)?
 No one who doesn't love the Beatles should be allowed to hold public office, period.

 As Bob Dylan said, "They should put up statues of those guys (the Beatles) in this country" for what they did
 for American music and society.... You know, John Fogerty said that when he met Dylan sometime in the late 70s,
 "I finally got the chance to thank him for ending the Viet Nam War." It's a miracle Dylan is still alive.
 The assassination of John Lennon is one of history's greatest tragedies, because of the good he might still have done.
 The forces of darkness may be evil but they're not stupid. They know who to kill.

 Thanks for the good you're doing, Bart, and good luck.


 Monkey Shortage is Slowing Research

  Click  Here

 There are a few hundred worthless monkeys in Washington DC...

 The right hates the goofy Terminator
  Ah-nold is being blasted from all sides - when we he withdraw?

  Click  Here

 The tittering Republicans so enamored with Arnold Schwarzenegger undermine their own case
 that the crisis is dire by addressing it in such a light setting. Doesn't it occur to them that their
 candidate's announcement on a show of gags and jokes just buttresses Gray Davis's argument
 that the state is not in a solemn crisis justifying a recall? The superficiality of it all lends support
 to the Dems claim that the Republicans are engaged in a frivolous power grab.

 Lies from This Whore with Judas Maximus

 Sunday morning, George Will (R-Smug Bastard) was full of lies and distortions.
 He said the recall movement had "roots with a long history," then cited some obscure race
 from the early 1900's as "proof" that recalling a sitting governor was an everyday occurence.


 Notice he had to go back a hundred years to find an example...
 To me, the point seems to be that recalling a sitting governor (with one or two percent
 of the voters deciding) is so rare it hasn't happened in a century, but liar George Will,
 who was proven scientifically and beyond a doubt to be more stupid than a chimpanze,

                                  (Only Fred Barnes is more stupid than George Will)

 ...was allowed to portray a century-old political anomoly as "everyday democracy."

 And, of course, there were no liberals on the show to call him on his lies.

 What Would Arnold Do?

 In 2000 and 2001 California had a major energy crisis because several big energy companies like Enron
 gamed the system and created artificial energy shortages. The high energy prices were devastating to the
 California economy - but Davis managed to see us through it and get new power plants online. But what
 would happen if an actor like Arnold Schwarzenegger were governor and we had an energy crisis?
 What would Arnold do?

 Isn't that the real question facing the voters of California?
 In an environment where all of America under the Bush administration is on the verge of economic collapse,
 you do you trust to get us through the tough times?   Shouldn't California have a governor who knows
 what he's doing rather than an actor who is merely playing a role?
 What would Arnold do?

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.

 60 years ago today - another day of infamy

  Click  Here

 Patton lost all control. Shaking with rage, he shouted at the man,
"Your nerves, Hell, you are just a goddamned coward, you yellow son of a bitch. Shut up that goddamned crying.
  I won’t have these brave men here who have been shot seeing a yellow bastard sitting here crying…

  You’re a disgrace to the Army and you’re going back to the front to fight, although that’s too good for you.
  You ought to be lined up against a wall and shot. In fact, I ought to shoot you myself right now, God damn you!”

 Patton then pulled his revolver from its holster and waved it in front of the terrified private...

 Subject: Problem with member's page

 Getting the radio just fine and dandy.  Great shows!

 However, I'm getting something weird on the page itself.
 The non-member page comes up just fine.

 However, about half of the member's page comes up missing.


 The members page is being built before your eyes.
 It starts with just enough color and font to save my arm some wear & tear.
 Sometime, when you have nothing better to do, set your alarm to go off
 every two hours and check the members page - watch it get fuller and fuller.

 This way, if you spot a mistake or want to comment on something that hasn't
 yet been printed, you can be in the new issue when it hits the main page.

 Thanks for your support...

Saw this at


"The movie "Freaky Friday" has opened. It’s a movie about a teen that gets
   into a 40-year-old body. I believe they got the idea from Ashton Kutcher."
       -- Dave

"Kill that Letterman - no reason - just because I said so..."

 Subject: bart, lighten up on cuba...i will explain

  Click  Here

 did you know that cuba was instrumental in the defeat of the south african army when that racist country invaded angola?
 did you know that the u.s.supported the south african nazis ,and therefore buttresed the apartheid government? did you know that
 nelson mandela after his release visited cuba, and thanked the people of cuba for their key role in defeating apartheid and helping
 him be liberated from prison?

 Dude, I gotta tell you - I've never seen Cuba defended like you're doing.
 Cuba is a large prison, with a 90-mile watery wall surrounding it.
 Fidel keeps people there at gunpoint - how do you defend that?

 Subject: Supporting the troops


 I'll pay for the first 10 .mils who sign up for their first three months, or $150.


 Dude, that's very generous.
 So if any of you military guys & gals want three months of members privileges,
 send me your .mil e-mail and Brew will pick up the tab.
(So far, only two have signed up for three free months of membership)

 Subject: Military guys and GAYS?


 Is "military guys and gays" on purpose?  It's appeared twice now.

 No, that's just a typo.
 Should be "guys and gals."
 Sometimes my fingers just "go funny."
 For some reason, I often type "Bill Clitnon," which seems Freudian, but it's just a screw up.

 Also a bit more about Clive James:
 several years ago he said Arnie looks like a "condom stuffed with walnuts"


 ha ha


 Hey, Bart,

 Your August 10 page cited part of Al Gore's speech recently given to the MoveOn organization...
 but your tag line reads...

> --Al Gore, launching his 2000 campaign for the White House.

 Odd changes history by putting Bush in the White House
 at the same time Gore began his 2000 campaign.

 I know you didn't intend that.

 You saw that as an error?
 I was commenting that Gore seemed to be starting his 2000 campaign three years late.

 Subject: Flight 93: 9/11 in general

 Oh Bart!

 Regarding the crashing of Flight 93 in PA, the FBI's theory discounts the popular perception
 of insurgent passengers grappling with terrorists to seize the plane's controls.

 In your opinion, it bolsters it?

 I can only guess we're hung up on semantics, somehow.
 Obviously, the hijackers didn't intend to crash the plane in a field.
 Something knocked their train off the tracks - it had to be the passengers - right?
 Do you think the Saudi's just decided, "nevermind" in the middle of the operation?

 Cell phone calls to planes? According to a Electronic Warfare Intercept Strategic Signal Processing/Storage
 Systems Specialist, this would be completely impossible. Lisa Beemer's official story IS that she never talked
 to her husband. That he talked to an operator and "the story" was told to her. Keep in mind, the first phone
 call was reported by Ted Olson.

 One of us has his facts alllllllllllllllllll wrong.
 The reason the passengers fought back is because they were told via phone that other hijackers crashed
 their planes into buildings. The hijackers encouraged passengers to call loved ones, to increase the terror.
 A lady flight attendent gave the FBI descriptions and numbers over the phone.  If no cell calls were made
 or received that day, there are dozens of grieving families in on the hoax, and what would be their motive?

 You have always used a skeptics lens for all information being evacuated by these goons,
 but why do you continue to swallow the 9/11 story hook, line, and sinker?

 What does that mean?
 Are you saying 9-11 didn't happen?
 You're not saying anything I can latch onto.

 I am a simple man with no ties to any party, and I have researched 9/11 since it happened.
 I would be happy to provide any of my work or sources.

 I must allow for the possibility that I misunderstand your words, but dozens of families got calls from Flight 93.
 Your unnamed expert's best guess pales against the credibility of the families' reports.

 You argue about tax cuts and diebold, but let the largest crime in our history to go. Why?

 What are you talking about?  I let 9-11 go?
 You seem very, very certain that you have a monoply on these "facts,"
 but besides getting the phone calls wrong, you haven't really said anything yet.
 Which crime am I ignoring?  Are you saying our F-16's blew the plane out of the sky?

 If you would, write back and say something, instead of telling me I have it wrong.

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  258 260
Total deaths since the Bloodthirsty Bully said, "Bring Them On": 56

 260 flag-draped coffins - so far.   Perhaps 1,000 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 Note: Believe this figure.
 It's from

In trouble?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.

 Subject: whats up w/ Arnold and the naked chick pic?

 My wife wants to know why is the girls face missing
 and what's the context of the picture.

 I'm real curious too..


 Low, I don't know...
 I'm certain the picture is legit, but that's how it arrived.
 I suspect Spy Magazine ran that in the 80s.

 Bush - just plain bad for America
  Rep. Henry Waxman - fighting back in the House

  Click  Here

 The Bush Administration has manipulated, distorted, or interfered with science on health,
 environmental, and other key issues. Find your issue below and read more.

 Example: Yellowstone
 In April 2003, Deputy Assistant Interior Secretary for Fish and Wildlife and Parks Paul Hoffman wrote
 to the United Nations’ World Heritage Committee and requested that Yellowstone be removed from a list
 of parks at risk and in need of international attention. He wrote, “Yellowstone is no longer in danger.”
 To make this argument, Mr. Hoffman cited a reported written by Yellowstone Park staff.
 However, this report had apparently been substantially edited to suppress scientific information

 They say, "We protect the environment," then re-write the scientific report to make it say
 whatever will make the most money for the Bush Family Evil Empire..
 The press praises the Unelected Fraud while he sells our resources to the highest bidder.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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