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Volume 1131 - Tick Tock in Iraq

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 Friday   Aug 8, 2003 


"Gray Davis’ troubles were caused in large measure by a conspiracy of energy companies
  led by Ken Lay and blessed by Dick Cheney. The idea that any market manipulation was
  taking place was mocked as ridiculous paranoia by Republican pundits like Charles Krauthammer
  and William Safire. The recall effort was funded by more right-wing Republican money. And the
  state’s deficit is smaller, as a percentage of its budget, than is Bush’s even though he refuses to
  spend anything like what’s necessary for homeland security — something we will all someday
  regret. And what’s the result? Voters will punish the Democrats and hand the Republicans
  the most Democratic state in America. Great."
     --Eric Alterman,   Attribution

 Carlyle Group tops $1B 
  Everything I said would happen, has

  Click  Here

 Carlyle Group Inc., a private equity firm whose senior executives include former U.S. cabinet
 members and ex-President George H.W. Bush, has turned a $180-million 1997 investment in
 United Defense Industries Inc. into $1.2 billion.

 Carlyle yesterday sold shares worth $270 million in United Defense, which makes the Bradley
 Fighting Vehicle as well as artillery, naval guns, missile launchers and munitions. Carlyle has sold
 almost $500 million in shares of the company in public offerings since 2001, pocketed about $350
 million in dividends before the company went public, and still owns about $350 million of stock,
 according to Securities and Exchange Commission filings..

 ...and all they needed was a fake war to make that billion.

 Plus, this doesn't include the Iraqi oil they're stealing every day,
 it doesn't include all the Halliburton money,
 it doesn't include all the black budget CIA money, and
 ...don't forget the Treasury is empty and we're trillions in debt.

 And it's all because the Democrats are too afraid to stand up and say, "That's enough!"

 Meanwhile, the press wants to know if Roger Clinton used his family name to make a little money...


"The very idea of self-government depends upon honest and open debate as the preferred method
  for pursuing the truth -- and a shared respect for the Rule of Reason as the best way to establish
  the truth. The Bush Administration routinely shows disrespect for that whole basic process, and I
  think it's partly because they feel as if they already know the truth and aren't very curious to learn
  about any facts that might contradict it. They and the members of groups that belong to their
  ideological coalition are true believers in each other's agendas."
      --Al Gore, launching his 2000 campaign for the White House   Attribution

 Gov't: Hijacker Crashed Flight 93 on 9/11
  What the hell does this mean?

  Click  Here

 U.S. investigators now believe that a hijacker aboard United Airlines Flight 93 instructed terrorist-pilot
 Ziad Jarrah to crash the jetliner into a Pennsylvania field because of a passenger uprising in the cabin.

 This theory, based on the government's analysis of cockpit recordings, discounts the popular perception
 of insurgent passengers grappling with terrorists to seize the plane's controls.

 It certainly does not!
 In my opinion, it bolster's it.

 Remember what happened:
 Passengers aboard Flight 93 learned of the horrors of what was happening via cell phones.
 They obviously made a move to stop the bastards, so what's the discrepancy by TED BRIDIS,
 Associated Press Writer is trying to point out?

 Am I missing something huge?  Either way, the passengers caused the plane to "land early,"
 to deny the sons-of-bitches the pleasure of crashing it into the Capitol or the White House.

 How does this "finding" discount anything the passengers did?

Thanks to


"What we have here is a form of looting."
   --George Akerlof, 2001 Nobel Econ winner,
      describing Bush's economic policies,   Attribution

"Get this guy, cut his tongue out and shoot him in the head...
  Shoot his kids, too, and bring his wife to me..."

 Secret Talks With Iranian Sources
 Just like 1980, the B.F.E.E. crimes continue

  Click  Here

 Pentagon hardliners pressing for regime change in Iran have held secret and unauthorized
 meetings in Paris with a controversial arms dealer who was a major figure in the Iran-contra scandal,
 according to administration officials.

 The officials said at least two Pentagon officials working for Undersecretary of Defense for Policy
 Douglas Feith have held "several" meetings with Manucher Ghorbanifar, the Iranian middleman in U.S.
 arms-for-hostage shipments to Iran in the mid-1980s.

 The administration officials who disclosed the secret meetings to Newsday said the talks with Ghorbanifar
 were not authorized by the White House and appeared to be aimed at undercutting current sensitive back
 channel negotiations with the Iranian regime.

 Another war, this time with Iran, means:
another billion for The Carlyle Group,
more fat, no-bid contracts for Halliburton,
much more black budget CIA money,
another ocean of red ink (they'll blame Clinton)
and many more dead American soldiers.

    "I can live with that..."

Bush holds an impromptu press conference.

 Barry Crimmins

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 Have a question, a sound file or a comment?

  Email Bart


"For eight years, the Clinton-Gore Administration gave this nation honest budget numbers;
  an economic plan with integrity that rescued the nation from debt and stagnation; honest
  advocacy for the environment; real compassion for the poor; a strengthening of our military
  -- as recently proven -- and a foreign policy whose purposes were elevated, candidly presented
  and courageously pursued, in the face of scorched-earth tactics by the opposition. That is also
  a form of honor and integrity, and not every administration in recent memory has displayed it."
      --Al Gore,     Attribution

 Al, that's great stuff - but why didn't you say that three years ago?
 Three years ago you ran but didn't fight.  Now you're fighting but not running...

 The Clinton legacy and America
   by Todd Gitlin

  Click  Here

"In late May 1993, a calendar called “365 Reasons to Hate Bill Clinton” was already on sale
 in right-wing bookshops. Clinton had moved into the White House a bare four months before.
 Who had already divined 365 reasons to hate him, and why?...

 For the scorched-earth right, Bill Clinton was, if not the literal Antichrist, a close approximation:
 the perjurious, adulterous doper Slick Willie, admitted draft dodger and reputedly serial womaniser
 who had opposed the Vietnam war, visited Moscow, and married a card-carrying feminist who only
 belatedly took his name and was the first professional woman to take up First Ladyship in the White House...

 Arnold's Nazi Problem
  Just like W, his dad was a Nazi, too

  Click  Here


 I realize that no matter how well I think I've built an argument for gun ownership,
 those to my left - the "No guns, ever" crowd - are not going to change their minds.
 But let me tell you about the last few days in small town Tulsa, Oklahoma.

 Tulsa has had three home invasions.
 In two cases, they just tied up the people, maybe kicked 'em a few times,
 and then they stole them blind while they lay there, bleeding on the floor.
 In the third home invasion, they pistol-whipped a 70 year-old man.

 Plus, we have the insane convenience store murderer.

 In just the last few days, he's entered three convenience stores with a ski mask on,
 demanded money, then after the clerks complied, he shot all three in the back of the head.

 Maybe there is a God, because so far only one of the three clerks has died,
 but I'd like to ask what country you "No guns, ever" people think you live in?

 When we argue guns, I usually get, "Well, often does that happen?"
 Well, according to the local news, we've had six of those in the last six days.

 I don't see myself working in a convenience store, so I don't anticipate any problems there,
 but if somebody kicks in the front door of BartCop Manor, I'm reasonably confident that I have
 the tools and the determination to answer all of the detective's questions truthfully - the first time.

 Without children in this equation, I fail to undertand the liberals' willingness to be vulnerable
 to every insane, escaped, nutjob, rapist/killer who found his way out of his urine-drenched cage.

This is Clive James, noted Australian author.
He has quite a TV following in the UK and Australia
for witty and entertaining TV talk shows. Real talk and real humour.
I suspect Wal Cooper had a hand in this.

Marty's E! page
Tons of great stuff!



"I'm not, to say the least, a conventional candidate. But these are not conventional times.
  And if we keep electing the same kind of politicians who got us into the same kind of mess
  funded by the same kind of special interests, we'll never get out of this mess.''
    --Arianna Huffington

 Subject: Show prep

 Bart, I heard your practice show ten.

 You didn't do any show prep.
 Your forgot Tom Landry's name and you forgot Vince Lombardi's name.
 Tom Landry is Texas football, and Lombardi is football, period.

 Would it hurt to do in a little effortz?

 Practice show number ten was done live.
 Sometimes names come to me - sometimes they don't.
 With Tommy Mack's help, expertise, professionalism, and encouragement,
 post-production delays on Bartcop Radio dropped by 90 percent in one weekend.
 Also, and I'll probably get over this - if I prepare for a show, I feel like I'm reading a script
 and that would make me an actor of some sort and that feels like selling out.
 I'll work on that...

 Bartcop Radio Show 9-b
   painfully transcribed by FreshLaundry

  Click  Here

 Oh, I don’t like Lieberman. Don’t like him, don’t like him. I heard Glenn Beck and O’Reilly and, oh they’re all the same
 - there’s one more. Whenever they’re praising Joe Lieberman, you know he’s in trouble. At least he is with me! If O’Reilly
 is going to talk about what a good and decent man you are, I don’t want you anywhere near my political process; get the
 hell out of here, Joe!

 Joe also guaranteed that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. Well, Joe, where are they? Why don’t you get over
 there and show us where they are? You’ve got the reports, you’ve got the intelligence, why don’t you show us where they are?
 You’re so certain, Joe. Backing up this President - why would we vote for you, Joe? We’ve already got a Republican in the
 White House. We don’t need you to follow him in there and echo every dumb-ass idea Bush ever had. What the hell’s
 wrong with you?

 I haven't seen any feedback on these transcripts - is it worth it to continue?

 What is Arnold's plan to save Callie-fornia's economy?

"We will have a plan very soon, a detailed plan, on how to face those
   kind of problems and how to solve those kind of problems."
         -- the clueless Musclehead

 So the question is - can Musclehead win?

 Here's the answer:
 If the Democrats and the press give him the Bush treatment, he'll win.
 If they bungle the debate format,
 if they allow Arnold to answer "Hasta la Vista" to tough political questions,
 if they allow him to read nothing but scripts that were  written by other, smarter people - then he'll win.

 Just like with President Pinhead, set up a no-rules debate - no moderator, no audience,
 no time limits on answers etc. If you do this, the smarter candidate will always win.
 Remember what Bartlet said on West Wing: "If they're going to paint you as the guy
 who's smart, then accept that and show them what you've got."

 If Gore had listened to me in 2000, he'd be president and the DOW would be at 15000.
 And if Musclehead won't debate that way, you say, "The Terminator is a spineless coward?"
 and you repeat that thousands of times until he's forced to give im.

 It's all up to the press and the Democrats.
 (Arianna - talk to me - I could win this for you!)

Check  today's  BartCopSports!

Click to Enter


"When the Berlin Wall fell the image of America went up in our eyes because we had never seen it.
  America was a new and promising place. But that ideal for us has slipped in the last two years.
  We thought America had high moral standards. We don't anymore."
       -- Europe, they hate our blood-thirsty monster    Attribution

 President Codpiece Action Figure


 BBI proudly introduces the latest issue in its Elite Force series of authentic military12- inch figures,
 the illegal President Pinhead in naval aviator flight uniform. Exacting in detail and fully equipped with
 authentic gear, this limited-edition action figure is a meticulous 1:6 scale recreation of the Fraud's
 cock-sure swaggering during his historic Aircraft Carrier landing while men were dying in Iraq .
 Codpiece comes in large, extra-large Liddy size and super-sized Ann Coulter sizes.

   Puke here

  Click  Here

 I don't know if you've seen this, but it's pretty damn sickening.
 It would be funnier if it wasn't so sad.


 Ashcroft's nephew got probation after major pot bust
 Although his arrest for growing 60 plants could have landed him in federal prison,
 Alex Ashcroft was tried in state court and avoided jail -- despite his uncle's crusade
 for tougher federal drug laws and mandatory prison sentencesow

  Click  Here

 Two nephews busted Alex Ashcroft (25) and Adam (19).
 Also busted housemate Kevin Sheely (24).
 Charged with production and possession of about 60 plants.
 Growing more than 50 usually triggers federal prosecution, but not in this case.

 Brother Adam didn't live in the house, and was never prosecuted.
 Alex was prosecuted on state charges and received probation
 Sheely went before a different judge and his records are sealed.
 Alex's parents say he got even lighter treatment.

 Thanks to RJ

 Confessions of a Soviet moptop
  Brezhnev and his cronies did all they could to block the 'corrupting'
  influence of Beatlemania. But, says historian and closet fan Mikhail Safanov,
  the four lads from Liverpool eventually destroyed the Soviet Union

  Click  Here

 He did not live to see its collapse, and could not have predicted that the Beatles would
 cultivate a generation of freedom-loving people throughout this country that covers one-sixth
 of the Earth. But without that love of freedom, the fall of totalitarianism would have been
 impossible, however bankrupt economically the communist regime may have been.

 Did you know, outside of, The Beatles were wildly popular, and changed the planet?
 For some treason,  readers do NOT like The Beatles, despite the host's insistence
 that they were one of the most powerful influences on modern culture the world has ever known.

 Non-dueling Quotes

"On paper, we should be closer to the U.S. than ever at the moment.
  But the Atlantic seems wider than usual."
   --British playwright Tamsin Oglesby

"In the French-American relationship, this is the biggest crisis ever.
  The French government is eager to forget about it.... But I am more struck
  by the lack of interest in America to repair things."
  --Philippe Roger, a French scholar,  Attribution

 All Bush has for our former allies is a giant "Fuck you - try and stop me!"

"Yeah, fuck Europe. I got mine, they can get their own..."

 The Gore Speech

  Click  Here

"Here is the pattern that I see: the President's mishandling of and selective use of the best evidence available
 on the threat posed by Iraq is pretty much the same as the way he intentionally distorted the best available
 evidence on climate change, and rejected the best available evidence on the threat posed to America's
 economy by his tax and budget proposals.

 In each case, the President seems to have been pursuing policies chosen in advance of the facts -- policies
 designed to benefit friends and supporters -- and has used tactics that deprived the American people of any
 opportunity to effectively subject his arguments to the kind of informed scrutiny that is essential in our system
 of checks and balances.

 The administration has developed a highly effective propaganda machine to imbed in the public mind mythologies
 that grow out of the one central doctrine that all of the special interests agree on, which -- in its purest form -- is
 that government is very bad and should be done away with as much as possible -- except the parts of it that
 redirect money through big contracts to industries that have won their way into the inner circle."

 Al, if only you had kept your promise to fight in 2000...the world would be so different. Instead, you chose to
 distance yourself from Clinton and be very, very polite. You had a chance to give us four more years of peace
 and prosperity, but instead, we have worldwide war, recession, death and dismemberment.

 ...but at least you proved that you were your own man.

 Subject: Supporting the troops


 I'll pay for the first 10 .mils who sign up for their first three months, or $150.


 Dude, that's very generous of you.

 So if any of you military guys & gays want three months of members privileges,
 send me your .mil e-mail and Brew will pick up the tab.


“Bush 1 - I'm looking for a decent job
  Clinton - Found and best job I ever had
  Bush 2 - I'm looking for a decent job
  Bush is the worst president ever."

 Bush's Popularity Wanes in Slow Economy
  Swackbuckling and swaggering not winning the voter's minds?

  Click  Here

 People want President Pinhead to focus most of his attention on the struggling economy,
 says a new poll that indicates his public support has fallen to about the level it was two years ago.

 Newest poll, just minutes ago on Crossfire asked:
 Is President Bush a man you can trust?"  61 percent said "No!"

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  255 258

 Son of a bitch, and I choose my words carefully, we lost another three yesterday.

   How many more are we willing to tolerate?

 Note: Believe this figure.
 It's from

 Call the

You have two minutes to rant away.

 From ChoicePoint to Diebold,
 Has Democracy Turned Her Last Trick?
   by reader  Bruno

  Click  Here

 Partisan conspiracies aside, even if there was zero tampering involved, if an absurd, implausible result came up, say Al Sharpton
 getting 90% of the vote, we’d have little means of tracking down the problem before it was too late(and even then we’d have
 considerable difficulties nabbing the culprit).  Suspicious activity has already marred one election, as Senator Chuck Hagel
 auspiciously failed to disclose ownership in the company that counted the ballots in his own election.  Lawsuits, petitions,
 and press coverage are finally rousing national attention to a complex and supremely important issue, but the clock is ticking
 ever closer to Election Day.  By then, like Florida, it will simply be too late.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Shirley - call The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
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